A Toast to Birthdays and New Years!

It's the last day of the year 2014. It's almost time to sing the old Scottish ditty by Robert Burns, Auld Lang Syne, so we can think of good deeds and old friendships from 'old long since'. Tonight we will raise that cup of kindness to toast to our good health and remembrance of all that mightily, plentiful good that happened, and that we made happen, throughout the past year.

I don't have to think back or reminisce about all the good things that happened this year. It would almost be a chore to try and think up all the many good things that went on.  I'm perfectly happy being grateful for it all and not making a list. I have such good momentum going on, I don't need to turn and look back over my shoulder to see what happened in the past. There is too, too much to look forward to on that path in front of me.

Should I really be feeling this silly-giddy at my age? I turned the number 59 today and it seems like such a good number, I can't help but give a grin. It's been a good year and it feels like more is to come and staying grateful might be the way to make more come my way.

So raise that cup for the past year and look to the future with silly grins. You will be surprised how much better things turn out when the corners of your lips are turned upward. Well, it seems to work for this fifty-nine year old.

Happy New Year!
TT

All in a bow

I delivered an order of 10 dozen cookies this morning. That isn't a bad way to kick off the end of the year - with a sale. I got the call yesterday morning asking if I could get an order for an Insurance Underwriter Company that was having an after-Christmas party at the office at noon today. Sure, yes, I can do that. And I did. I got the ten dozen cookies baked, cooled, packaged, yesterday and delivered first thing this morning! The paperwork is filed and its all done. A little something while on vacation and how nice since it was the very last thing I had on my mind.

Otherwise the days have been quiet, the weather gray. Bright spots have been taking care of the two boys, but I'm not used to watching episodes of Pokemon and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2). I snuck in some reading and managed cookie baking and it all worked out for the three of us. I have the last day of the year to look forward to tomorrow and that will wrap things all up in a bow. Besides, I always wait for the very last day of the year to turn a year older so I guess I'll take care of that tomorrow. But that's tomorrow.
TT

Why wait

I'm on vacation all week. That would be a good thing. I don't have to venture outdoors in this freezing weather. I don't have to watch a clock to be here or there at any specific time. I believe this morning is Monday but it can get very confusing with all the holidays thrown around this month. And then there is the fact there are only a few days left to this year. I'm not sure that has any bearing on anything significant. Or does it?

Just about everywhere you look, there are warning signs about the coming year. It's almost as if there isn't any other time you should be thinking about your next best thing to do. Have you noticed how many more commercials there are about weight loss and exercise equipment? I know the gym will be packed and I'll have a hard time getting a machine to use come January. I'm having no trouble now but then this year isn't over yet. I think Boodini is on my side when he couldn't come up with an inspiring keyword for the upcoming year and sensibly asked why there was a need for one. I would think that word would change constantly or else, maybe, you aren't trying very hard, or not really interested in what that word might mean.

So change it. It's not about a word, but words, right? Moving them around, changing them up, and always, always thinking up more. Who wants one word? Who needs to wait for a New Year to start something that is important. If something is worth the effort, why does it need to wait for a New Years resolution that only comes once a year? Why isn't it going on now? What is everyone waiting for? And after you get started, if you find it isn't the right thing, change it up. You don't wait a whole year (I would hope not). You never get anywhere or create any momentum if you aren't doing, in motion. Motivation doesn't happen while you're sitting around thinking. It's all in the doing. No matter how good or badly something is done, you can only find the next inspiration by doing it. And that doesn't mean waiting for the New Year or a Monday or the beginning of the next whatever that might be.

Enough of the soapbox. I'm on vacation and I will make the best of it all week long. Does the week happen to start a New Year? Yes. Is it significant? Sure. But you won't catch me waiting for any specific day to get doing what needs to get done.
TT

Much better

The morning has turned cold and rainy so I have holed up (again) upstairs with my laptop. You would think I would get so much work done with all the time I spend but it doesn't add up. There is minimal work done and more flitting here and there, reading parts of articles, and then dragging them into folders to read later, which never seems to happen. I think it will happen but then I think I should be working and not reading more articles and then I don't work but then I don't read either. I'm still trying to figure out where that time goes...probably out the window with the cold and rain.

I think I need to get up, away, for a time (and this would be prime time), drive myself to the gym, because outdoors isn't going to work, and get a run done. Much better than flitting here and there and still not getting anything done. Much, much better.
TT

I like

The weather started out not too badly. It was a little overcast, the street was wet, but it wasn't raining. It wasn't even sprinkling and since I couldn't get anything else done at that time of the morning I went for a run. It wasn't anything great, spectacular, it was only a run and I felt good afterward. But by the time I was dressed to leave the house, the weather was starting to turn. My short drive was met with howling wind and windshield wipers swiping back and forth at a fair pace. And then it got colder even though it was only mid-morning.  

The day started out nice enough to get outside and stretch my muscles. Then before I could get outside again for a short trip it was all changed for the worse. I came home and have been locked away as if I'm trapped ever since. I'm not, of course, but what a great reason to stay indoors. And that's what I'm doing. Staying inside. Watching the weather through indoor windows. Doing a little reading and a little typing and a little laundry. 

It must be a pretty good day when I can start with a run and spend the rest of the day, well, spending it anyway I like. Right now, with the weather out there, I like inside.

TT 

Splendid

The holiday was splendid! It was splendid. Yes, there was food, there were too many gifts. We laughed and had a good time and spent time - together. 

It was a splendid holiday.

TT

It's Christmas 2014!

Good Morning, Christmas Day!

Everything that needed to be done is done. The lights are twinkling, the gifts are wrapped, and the shrimp are ready to be prepped. Before I make my way into the kitchen, I should go through the menu one more time so I can get it all straight in my head. This is what was decided for the Christmas Feast this year.

Appetizers

Broiled Shrimp on Skewers

Oysters Rockafeller

Oysters on the Half Shell

Artichoke stuffed Mushrooms

Main Course

Roast Beast (beef - but it's a beast)

Breaded Shrimp

Roasted New Potatoes and Carrots

Broccoli Au Gratin

Horseradish and Cocktail Sauces

Homemade Yeast Bread

Butter

Dessert

Tiramisu

It's nothing truly extravagant but it's all the prime choices for just about everyone that threw around their suggestions. Now it's time for me to get into the kitchen to prep up these niceties. The tiramisu is already prepared and in the fridge from last night, I need to go out on the deck to retrieve my oyster shells to wash as serving dishes for the appetizers, and broccoli can be par-cooked for the gratin. It's not really too much. Oh, and oh yes. Later this morning they will all be coming over to open the gifts and get this party started!

Good morning, Christmas Day! Hoping a Safe and Happy Holiday to All!

TT

Riding the wave

Where am I? What day is it?

All of a sudden I feel like there is a tidal wave behind me and I better get moving! There are only a few things left to do before the big day but time is a tickin'. I need to get these details completed while still making it to work. It's a matter of having only so much time to prioritize with all the things left to do and how that all works out. It's that wall of water behind me.

There really are only a few details left to take care of, but I can't forget the details. There are a few more things to grab from the grocery store, some gift wrapping to do, and then cleaning up the house. I will need to go through and give it a good wipe down but that will wait until tomorrow. I only work a half day and that afternoon would be the best use of that time. That means finalizing the menu today (already got the families input) so I can grab the grocery items today. I can fit in the gift wrapping this evening without a problem. Then with that all done, I can sit back and ride that giant wave to shore.
TT

One present?

The weekend was an entire flurry or activity and still so much more to do. I think I can call gift shopping done. I can rethink it over and again for a month of Sundays but it will have to stay where it is at this point. Grocery shopping is almost complete. Those last minute items that just have to be fresh will be picked up in the next day or so. It is all coming together.

I need to get to wrapping gifts since I have only one wrapped that is alone under the tree at this point. Mr. L noticed. He pointed to it.
"What's that?"
"A present."
"For me?"
"No. It's for Papa."
"It's not mine?"
"No. Not that one."

There were no other gifts under the tree. He noticed. He looked up at me. He knows about this wrapped gift idea because he just unwrapped a bunch of them on this birthday a few days ago. I felt I needed to add..."That's the only one right now. I'll put more under the tree later."
He didn't respond. I guess it was thinking about it. I mean, he just turned three. He tried to misdirect me when he said, "I'm six."
"No, you're three."
"I'm three?"
"Yes, you're three."
"I'm three."
Only a few minutes later, he told me he was six again. It hasn't sunk in, I think. He'll get it. Along with the gifts I haven't wrapped for him and everyone else yet. It's all coming together. I think it's sinking in.
TT

Mr. L turns three

This is the month of celebrations and we are ticking off each one as they happen. Last night we all gathered to watch Mr. L blow out the candles on his cake and open gifts. It was last Sunday we got together to celebrate his Dad's birthday. We are coming around the bend to Christmas, my birthday and New Year!

I believe we were all impressed with the amount of birthday presents one little boy received before Christmas. He also helped his Dad make this favorite meal...pork ragu.

Awesome-ness!  Good choice!

And Mr. L even helped decorate his own birthday cake.  What a guy!
He was actually feeling a little under the weather but made it through, feeling slightly better by the end of the evening. Happy Birthday to you!
TT

No holiday blues allowed

When I woke up yesterday morning, I was feeling that,"oh no, I'm running out of time" feeling. It was mostly due to the fact I knew I was needing to get out there and shop among the masses - on the last Saturday before Christmas. I was building up anxiety over the imminent situation of wandering for this and that, not finding what I want, and getting stuck in traffic for hours. I was letting the feeling get out of hand.

I went to the gym. A short, easy run and my head started to clear. I had an idea of where I wanted to go and what I wanted to get. I marched forward and headed out to the spot that opened the earliest. I found this, I found that. This is perfect, ring it up. I got a phone call from Jay..."Where are you, and how is it going?"
"I have one other shopping area to visit and I hope to have it finished by noon." It was 10:30.

It got done. I was home by 12:40. The traffic I imagined being in the middle of, was all traveling in the other direction as I headed home with a clear shot. I tried to stir up the holiday blues but managed to knock them out before they could fester. They only survived as far as my run and after that I was off and running(he-he). Let's get to wrapping!
TT

March of the Ginger Cookies

Yesterday afternoon, I proceeded to roll out my Ginger Cookie dough and start baking. I already finished the batch of Peanut Butter Cookies I wanted to make, so it was time to flour the table and pull out my nifty rolling pin. I also grabbed a small cookie cutter, a couple of sheet pans, and set the oven at 375 degrees and was ready to go.

The kitchen was smelling great and if  a drummer boy was present he could have kicked up a beat and had a true march going on with all these Ginger Men. Heck, we could have had an entire parade - a Christmas Parade!

Wow! Maybe I need to step away from the kitchen for a bit. I'm getting a little cookie delusional.
TT

A tin of cookies?

I got a text last night from my younger son, Dante. Office potluck is Friday...do you think you can get me a tin of cookies I can bring? Smile
Sure, I should have them for you tomorrow.
Great! I'll come by after work.

I already have a head-start on these cookies. Even though I gave all the Chocolate Hazelnut biscotti to Sonny (my older son, on his birthday) I kept back some of the chocolate chip, oatmeal, and some of the sugar cookies the grandkiddo's decorated. After work today I will make up a batch of peanut butter cookies and this morning I got a batch of gingerbread dough cooling in the fridge. They should be ready to roll-out this afternoon. That will make a good variety of cookies.

I am still thinking I need to make the pecan sandies and I didn't make any half and half cookies (half vanilla, half chocolate) or roll them into pinwheels instead (out of that same dough). I'll see. I still have time. Do I? I haven't finished shopping yet!

Sure I will.
TT

Getting it done

I need to get myself organized. It's time to take out that list again and check it. I believe if I were to evaluated what I have done so far, to what still needs to be done, there are some things still left undone. It will be my undoing. I need to do something about it and the clock is ticking.

I will see what's what and what's not and do what I have to do. Simple.

I only need to figure out what and when to do it all.
TT

Baked all weekend

Along with two-day breadmaking weekend, I managed to squeeze in some time to bake cookies. Between the hours of waiting for dough to rise, mix, and then rise again, I was able to bake some of my oldest son's favorite cookies for his birthday, which was yesterday.

Chocolate Hazelnut biscotti was the first to be completed. Then it was Chocolate Chips with walnuts. He asked for some oatmeal (with raisins and walnuts), too. I whipped them all up and they were baked and ready for his birthday. I also put aside a batch of sugar cookie dough in the fridge. I had a feeling I might have a chance to use it and I had something in particular in mind.

On Saturday, I was asked to watch the Big Boy and Mr. L. Here was the opportunity I was expecting. I grabbed my cookie cutters, separated an egg yolk into four different containers and mixed four different food colors into it. I had small paintbrushes for the egg yolk paint and also some sugar sprinkles. I rolled out the dough and let the boys cut out shapes while I put them on cookie sheets. When each sheet was filled with cookies, I gave one sheet to each boy and let them decorate the cookies.

Here is the result...I don't think I've seen finer Sugar Cookies than these in a long time.

The best cookies I've seen in a long time!
TT

Panettone - Part Two

I started the day by taking out the dough that has been rising in the fridge overnight. It's time to split it in half and it takes a sharp knife to cut through this heavy, rich dough. This isn't your fluffy, light, deflate when touch it type of dough. No, no. This is solid with all that butter (3 sticks) now cold and holding it all together.

Let it rest at room temperature for about an hour and a half. During that time I soaked 1 2/3 cups golden raisins for 30 minutes, patted them dry and added them to 1 cup candied orange (I used pineapple instead) and the zest of a fresh lemon and orange.  The dough becomes softer and pliable after it rest and feels great as I pat it out to an oval shape.  

Sprinkle the fruit and press it into the dough, then roll it up, pat it out again and repeat with the fruit. When that is done, tuck the edges underneath and form into a ball.

Now we need another 2 hours to rest and rise. I'll be baking these free form, like they did before they invented the nifty paper molds you can get on-line.  That is, you can use the paper molds if you order them in advance to having an urge to experiment with making your first panettone ever. I didn't have the time to wait. I'm waiting enough with all the rising, resting, rising, resting...Let's get to baking!

Ta-da! Baked, sliced and oh, so yummy. This bread is crusty sweet, and rich! I can see where the cylindrical paper molds would make it taller and light, but there is no denying the flavor in this bread.

 

It took the two days from start to finish but this breadaholic got through a recipe rated difficult without any real hitches along the way. It was a process, it was a little challenging, but it was what I was looking forward to doing. Sometimes, even if you are not sure the outcome, you just have to put in the work and go for it. 

TT

Panettone - Part One

I started some baking this morning.

This is getting organized with my ingredients galore. I'm starting with this panettone I can't help getting excited over. It's a multi-process task beginning with a sponge or a starter with 1/3 cup of warm water to activate the yeast for 10 minutes...the first dough activates yeast in 3 tablespoons of warm water...

The sponge on the left is ready so I mix 1/2 cup of flour into it and let it rise for 30 minutes.

Ah, yes! That is what I want to see. In 30 minutes my sponge has doubled. Now it's time to go on to my 1st dough. Add the risen sponge to 1st dough yeast and add 2 eggs, 1 1/4 cups flour, 1/4 cup granulated sugar. Yes. Mix it all together.

Now leave it covered for an hour. Let's see how that works out.

Yes. Yes...an hour later and it's now looking like this above! So far, so good. Now the second dough. Take this first dough and add (yes, this is rich) 3 egg yolks plus 2 whole eggs, 3/4 cup sugar, 2 Tablespoons honey, 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla, 1 tsp salt, 2 sticks (yeah-2) unsalted butter, 3 cups flour.

Mix together in your mixer, then scrape down all the sides and paddle and replace the paddle with the hook attachment. Mix at medium with the hook attachment for about 10 minutes then transfer into an oiled bowl. Tightly cover bowl with plastic wrap and let it rise in the refrigerator for at least 12 hours, and up to 24 hours.

 Goodnight, sweet prince. I'll see you in the morning...to be continued.

TT

No yeast!?

I love bread. I can't help it and I freely admit it. In this day and age when you are looked down upon for glancing at a single carb I can't help but stare when surrounded by steaming loaves. I brazenly will spend 30 minutes in any bakery making up my mind over the rye versus the whole grains versus any other offering of fresh baked splendor. I'm a breadaholic. I am one of those that will devour a good quarter of a fresh, crusty loaf before I get it home. That's me.

Because of my admitted addiction, it shouldn't be surprising I am having thoughts of making panettone. What?! Where has that thought come from? Do I even have any idea about where to start?
I've seen the specialty bread appear a couple of years ago in the grocery store. It caught my eye and I wondered about the Italian Christmas specialty. It wasn't until a few days ago, I took my thoughts to some serious consideration.

I started searching for recipes. If I need to find something I've never made before, I like to compare and read a lot of different recipes. So I started reading. Ah...here's one from Mario Batali. He should know what he's doing. I read through the recipe and thought, "Wow, that is really so simple. He went from start to finished product in about 45 minutes." I didn't stop there. I kept searching two, three, four, other recipes. I realized Mr. Batali must have an error in his recipe. He was making a bread without any yeast! I wouldn't think a proper panettone is made without yeast! I mean, it is bread.

I settled on a recipe I found that actually has you make a sponge (activated yeast with 1/2 cup of flour), a first dough, a second dough, and then finish. It takes some time (much more than 45 minutes - more like over 15+ hours), while it rises overnight. After combing through so many recipes it looked to be the best. I really think I'm going to give it a try.

I can't wait! I'm looking forward to that swirling, tantalizing smell of bread fresh out of the oven. I'm imagining it filling the house with all of it's warm and comforting aroma's. I can see myself cutting and tasting that first bite of...

Yeah. Breadaholic, for sure.
TT

After, not before

Looking at my calendar this morning, I quickly counted backward from December 25th. I had that song about the twelve days of Christmas going through my head and thought I should know when it starts. I had a shot of adrenalin pulse through my chest as I thought there was a possibility I missed it. I'm not sure what matter that would make, but it was only the briefest of spells. As I counted backwards I came up with December 13th and my small jolt was nothing to worry about. Ah, fine, today is only the 10th. But I couldn't leave it at that, now could I, since I had no idea what I was going to do with the information. So, I did some research to see if that day was accurate.

No. Nope. Not in the least. The twelve days of Christmas are not BEFORE Christmas, like some type of shopping days countdown. They are the twelve days AFTER Christmas to anticipate the time between the birth of Christ and Epiphany, or the day the Kings arrived. You know the Kings, the three kings, of Orient (they) are. I didn't know that. I bet a lot of people don't realize these twelve days are after and not before. I'm not sure anyone even gives it a thought. I wonder how many people still recognize that song. Either one...the Twelve Days or We Three Kings. Now, I have Christmas Carols running through my head.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
TT

Always making a list

I hear this month is all about making a list and checking it twice. I am notorious for making lists. I don't wait until December. I don't mean I make my lists for December all year long but that I always have some sort of list in the making. Do this, don't forget that, what about that other thing - they all go into a list. I also have mental lists. I'm thinking about that, need to remember this for later, I should do this after that. I've gone to the point of downloading free apps on my phone just for this purpose.

This morning I was going through my electronic list of reminders.

• ZZ Ward
• Check cookie ingredients
• Return extra ornaments to Hobby Lobby

I've returned the ornaments for credit and I checked what I had for cookie ingredients (I added my missing items to my grocery list appl).  Check and check. The ZZ Ward is a reminder to sample her album. I heard a song of hers, but always forget to check it out while at home where I can purchase - hence the reason it being on 'the list'.

I have a feeling the list will expand a bit before it's complete. I am even thinking of making Jay a list but I'll hold off for now. He's doing pretty good on his own right now. He will only lose his list. I'll e-mail any reminders to him later. I better put that on my own list. 

• Remind Jay of items on his list

There.  I'll check the list in a day or two. 

TT

'Tis the season

The weekends are to recharge, spend time getting to the things that don't seem to get done during the week, and then have the moments to take it in and stay still. After tumbling into that free time, rushing headlong into those put-aside activities, it should come to that peaceful point to sit back and take a look around at all that was done.

It was about holiday decorating this weekend. I have collected a dated holiday ornament every year since 1978. If I do the quick math (let me open that calculator) that totals 36 ornaments which I would line up in their boxes on a prominent shelf near the tree. There were some years I bought more than one because I just had to have a few more that I liked that year. Every year I displayed the ornaments and joked with my boys how I would decorated my entire tree with them after they were grown and moved away. I've done that a few years already. I've taken each and every one of those ornaments out of their original boxes, put them on the tree for the holiday season, and them replaced them all back to their safe places. It was pretty special.

I decided this year I couldn't use them. Some of the boxes are getting soft, some of the ornaments are starting to show their age, and it didn't seem wise to handle them as much as it takes to use them in this way. I went out and found simple, ordinary ornaments to fill the tree (all half off-how 'bout that).

The tree is up. It's glittery and great. It didn't take long and all the original dated ornaments are safe. I got the things I didn't have time during the week done and still had time to sit and find a special moment to stay still. I'm feeling very recharged.
TT

What to do

I'm not sure what I'm going to do today. I've already straightened up the kitchen and there is a load of laundry going. I've balanced Jay's bookkeeping and wrote some checks, then updated his sales figures. That already sounds like I've done a bit of stuff but it's barely 7:20 am and there is a load of things that I should do. I certainly have the time!

I will make another run through the house to get it straightened up. I've become the ultimate homebody, with all the upgrades and work we've done to make the house comfortable. I'd rather be here than anywhere else right now and having it clean elevates that feeling. What better time to get things done than when everything else around you is neat.

There is time for this and that today. I think I'll figure out what to do first and go from there.
TT

This month

This is the month of birthdays and holidays. December is jammed packed with more reasons to celebrate than any other all year long. There, of course, are the reminders to shop. The anticipation of black Friday, cyber Monday, and didn't I see another for some sort of all week thing? My e-mail inbox is flooded with advertising totally over 20 a day. That's a lot of mail I can (thankfully) click one button so they all show as 'read' without actually opening. I've managed to actually read the one e-mail that was real but if I've missed someone, it might have looked like an ad. I didn't mean to erase you.

I'm hoping my real e-mail to my sister today didn't get erased. It's her birthday today to start off this month of continuous celebrations. I remember my mom being a little upset with me when my oldest son was born on 12/14. She made the comment that I had now filled every week in December for her. My sister the first week, my son the second, Christmas on the third week, and then mine on the last. I didn't think that much about it at the time but she had her hands full!

I know it now, since that same son that filled the second week slot had a son, Mr. L, and his birthday is 12/20. Let's just squeeze another celebration, another cake, into the mix. You can never have enough cake, right? The run down is amazing...12/5, 12/14, 12/20, 12/25, 12/31, 1/1....

It's a month of birthdays and holidays. It has started, and as of today, it's on!
TT

Gold star

I managed to write for 45 minutes yesterday. I get a gold star for actually spending the time working on fiction instead of writing notes about what I should write. My prime way to get around writing is by making notes and writing down ideas and reading articles. I have pages and pages of notes that pertain to the theme and characters. I have questions and answers about how this should work and how that might be a way to get an idea across, but the actual story has remained the same hollow batch of words since I plugged down my first draft.

Could this 45 minutes be considered progress? And their lies the problem, don't you think? Why is that even a question. I know I am going to get a rewrite completed the same way I got the first draft completed. I may be taking the long way around to get there but I am a newbie, a rookie. I am trying to figure out my process and believe it or not, I might be getting slightly closer to what that is for me. Forty-five minutes of actual story work is what it is. It's just another step closer to getting it done and no more or less.

Everything doesn't need a gold star.
TT

No bugs

It's the middle of the week, third day of the month. Day three and if I had to report about my subtle change idea and how it's working out, I could say yesterday was different. It wasn't really something I can say I did to change it but I had to let the pest control man in after work. That would be considered very different if we hadn't had him here about 2 months ago. We asked him back yesterday because there were telltale signs of a possible small invasion (if you call seeing one dead roach on the floor and one small alive one in the sink an invasion). In any case, small or not, we don't want anything to do with the critters, so we had the bug guy come back and do some more eliminations. That changed things slightly for me yesterday afternoon. No real work on my part unless you count taking everything out from under the bathroom and kitchen sinks. Then I put them all back this morning.

Now that I'm thinking about it, that does count. That was definitely a change from any normal, regular, routine. I had to talk to the guy, let him in, wait around for him to spray and squirt. I unloaded, cleaned, reloaded, the stuff under the sinks and didn't see a single critter, dead or alive, anywhere this morning. It took up much of my afternoon (and part of this morning) in a different way.

I am counting this as a subtle change. God bless bug guys.
TT

Now

If yesterday was supposed to be some sort of opening day for making changes to my regular routine, I totally blew it. I didn't do anything to change what I always do each weekday. I came home, complained about the fact that I had no idea the temperatures were supposed to go down during the day instead of up, then curled up with a book and called it a day. I guess I should at least give myself points for reading. Nah. That's a regular thing. That isn't making subtle changes. That isn't modifying my routine to include the things I keep saying I want/need/should be doing. The only difference yesterday is I read for a longer period of time.

I didn't display much resolve yesterday. But then, that was yesterday. Maybe it's a learning curve and there will be some colder than I thought days which might be best for pulling out a book for a longer stretch of time. That might be the only subtle change I needed to make for that day.  Which was yesterday. Stay focused. Now, there is today.
TT

ONE

Today is acting as if it's the New Year. There is a big, giant one on the calendar with an attitude of get ready, set, go! Oh wait, that might be my attitude and not the calendar. I might be thinking it's a good month to start off some new resolutions without all the hoopla surrounding resolutions. Besides, the ones made on the New Year never seem to last anyway, so this might be a way to think outside the normal perimeters. And since this is my ball game, let's not call them resolutions at all.  How about doing some simple change-up things considered goals for this month.

At least that is what I am thinking. And it's a Monday, and the first, and as good a day as any to begin. I have some ideas of what I might do and today seems to be the day to get started. It's the day with the attitude and the big, giant one.
TT

New routines

I'm winding down my week long vacation. It's only hours before I will need to turn down all the lights, snuggle up into my bed, and wake the next morning into my regular routine. It isn't something I am especially looking forward to doing but everyone has their responsibilities and not always with as many positives that I am privileged to possess.

I started changing things up a bit when I recently moved out of the large department I supported for the majority of the 16 years I have been with the company. I am still in the IT department, but have left behind the group that was in charge of the software development and taken on working with the much smaller group that handles Risk Management and Information Security.

It was time for that change but hard for others to realize there was someone else they needed to go to for the work in my old area. There was a physical move of the group this past week while I was off and it's my hope this will also help in facilitating a split since I won't be geographically located too close to their area. I will be even farther away when my new group relocates sometime in December. So things won't exactly be regularly routine tomorrow and in the near future but these are all good things.

I'm looking forward to the changes, so some new regular routines can be put into place.
TT

Great week

This past week has been great. I will not go into everything that happened to chronicle and bore but only acknowledge I could do this much longer. There. That was all I wanted to say.
TT

Visions of sugar plums?

I woke up with visions of grocery lists in my head. Whipping cream, pancetta, don't forget to write down basil and check to see if there is any corn meal in the cupboard. Take the turkey out of the fridge and see how much it has defrosted and pull down that cookbook to check the hours to roast for the amount of pounds. Get up, you need to make that list to get to the store early because I'm not sure what time Sonny wants to meet to buy the wine. Selma offered to make the pumpkin pie so why am I thinking of adding madeleines to the dessert menu? Oysters were available and the last time we wanted to make rockafella I couldn't find them in the shell and bought madeleine cookie sheets that worked really well for the oysters. Wake up already! This is one menu we don't need to expand on. Get a real list going and stop dreaming about it.

I think I have my list. I keep adding to it as if we won't have enough which is ridiculous. I'll give the menu another go-through to make sure the list is complete and get the last of the shopping out of the way. I will make corn bread and an apple pie today (madeleines maybe)? Tomorrow will be the day.

Now just a bit of accuracy updating since I couldn't post a comment on the blog directly Without a clue. I wasn't 15 when I got married 35 years ago but almost 24. I had my own apartment and wasn't living at home. The part about the food money embezzling is true but it happened a few years earlier and what's wrong with garlic and olive oil pasta? I'm saying congrats on the 26 years, CSC!

Now off to the grocery store!
TT

Huge treasure

I have the absolute treasure of time this week. I'm not sure how I will dole it out, whether it will be large amounts to any one thing or small increments for many. I know for sure I won't spend too much of it trying to figure it out and just use what I need as it comes along. 

I have this great food holiday coming up and Thanksgiving Day for us will actually be on Wednesday this year. Sonny has to work on Thursday, but since I am off (and so is he) and everyone else in the family only works a half day on Wednesday, we will gather the day early.  This is one day I have the tradition down. The menu never changes because no one will allow one item to be removed and believe me, it is extensive. I will only need to start my process a day earlier which means I will do my cornbread and pie baking tomorrow, along with shopping for my fresh produce for the multitude of side dishes. I think I counted seven and that is only the vegetables and not counting stuffing, cranberry sauce, rolls, gravy, cheese sauce...

It's all part of the day and we won't change it for any amount of debate. And why should we?  It's worked well so far and what better way to use part of this huge treasure of time I have than with food and family.

TT

Good for the rest of the day

"Yo quiero café."

It was a sleepy mumble I didn't expect to hear at my regular waking hour. It was my normal waking hour but at least four hours away from the mumbler's waking hour. He wasn't expected to utter any word, much less three, at that time of the morning. I know this from many years of experience. Let's just say as of today I have at least thirty-five years of experience.

"Did you just say you wanted coffee"? I asked.
"Yes," Jay replied.

I got up to make my usual pot of coffee. Jay was up behind me and went to get his Sunday paper. It was a normal Sunday except for the time. Then as he finished his mug of brew and sorted through multitudes of sections of newsprint, he claimed he was hunger. I'm scratching my head in disbelief. "Aren't you going back to bed?"
"I can't go back on an empty stomach. Let's go to iHop."

Who am I to argue? It was all of 6:15am when we pulled into iHop. There were no lines, no waiting, and breakfast served as ordered. We both agreed it was very good.

As we were getting ready to pay the bill, I mentioned that if I had suggested this yesterday I would have met some strong disapproval. Jay concurred. He would not have liked the idea but at the moment, the way things worked out, it was as if it was all perfectly planned. He was on my timetable for a change. He was up at my hour, and present during my time. I am usually accommodating to his time schedule but today it turned around. Did it have anything to do with the fact that today is our 35th wedding anniversary?

Whatever the reason, it's quiet in the house once again. Jay went off back to bed since it's still within the time he would be asleep on a day such as today. It turns out I had a great good morning that will stay with me the rest of the day. It might even happen again some time, although if I rely on my years of experience, it will probably take another 35 years.

And that's okay.
TT

Motivator or sweet tooth?

I made pumpkin empanadas this past Sunday. It wasn't my idea, in fact, when Jay suggested it, I exclaimed, "I tried years ago but couldn't find a recipe that had the bread-like dough and only had a pie crust outer shell." I still might have been slightly fearful of cooking squash again so soon.

"But that was years ago," he offered. "I bet you could find something now."

I went ahead and looked for a recipe. I found one that I thought might work but I needed a few ingredients. Since Jay was going to the store he said he would pick them up and I specifically pointed out to pick up the canned pumpkin as opposed to the pumpkin pie filling. (No cooking of squash would be needed).
When he got back from the store he told me he had lost his list about half way through the shopping expedition. He couldn't find pumpkin...in the can. He said he picked up a small baking pumpkin.

"Wait, what? You expect me to bake another squash after the disaster before? My hand is barely healing now and don't look at my shoulder."

"Calm down. I put the whole pumpkin in the basket but then I found the canned pumpkin. You won't have to relive the spaghetti squash debacle". 

(Jay didn't say debacle. Jay would never use the word debacle unless he was making fun of me using the word debacle).

Long story short...I made pumpkin empanadas that turned out rather nice.  Flavor was on point. I would have liked the crust to have the darker color I'm used to, but it didn't take  away from the finished product. Maybe I should add a little of the pumpkin filling into the bread dough?



The best part is I made some headway in my facing any fear of squash explosions. It was a small step in the right direction that  may lead to a total cure. I should be up and running at full speed ahead in no time.
And it will be just in time for the upcoming Food Holiday! I'm looking forward to it. I guess Jay knew I needed the extra push and motivation to get going again with a no fear attitude.  Nah.  I think he just wanted dessert.
TT

Don't slow yet

I seem to be speeding right along. Days are tumbling over each other and hurling forward. The twentieth of November, already? Thursday? Okay, yes. Now that I have that all verified, I get to put myself back into the fast forces of the next two days and then, and then.

A week off. I am taking the entire next week off.
TT

Working on some research. Right

In the process of making myself get started again on my own writing, I meandered away from my real work and let myself believe I was doing research (research, really? - that's not what I should be working on). But I found a site called 'I Write Like'. I was too curious. It was only going to take a few minutes. It only ever takes a few minutes when I wander away from my task at hand until I realize I wasted 30-45 minutes out of the 30 I planned to work.

This site was built by a Russian software programmer that uses an algorithm to tell you which author your writing resembles. He programmed 50 authors into the code along with matching length of sentences, commas, use of quotes, etc. I thought, 'why not'? It'll only take a second.

I copied my recent post, Doing, from here and pasted it in. It said I wrote like David Foster Wallace. I don't know who he is so I had to research that. Well, he isn't anymore because he committed suicide at age 46, but he was best known as an American writer, essayist, short story writer, and professor of English and creative writing. Okay. But I thought, 'do I always write like him'? I grabbed another of my posts, It was a cold, dark morning, and had the site analyze it.  Bam - Stephen King. I had to grin. Well, yeah. It had all this dark imagery and blustery words. It was the best match out of all to choose from, right?  It probably had the most keywords to match.  How about one more, just at random.  Can I match up to the same author with any of these?  I picked, Attack of the Spaghetti Squash. Another terror type?  I wanted to see.  Copy, paste, click...Chuck Palahniuk.  Who's that?  I little more research...guess who.  The guy who wrote Fight Club!  Yeah, okay.  I guess I see it. Self-inflicted pain, maybe? I write like him, too.  Three different authors from three random and recent pieces. I'm all over the place! It was fun but I'm not sure it has any real impact on what I write.

It turned out to be a lot of extra research that had nothing to do with the actual writing, and editing of my own work.  It was only another, more fun way to procrastinate. But you should give it a try. Copy something and see...it will only take a second, said the lady after 45 minutes.

Link to I Write Like
TT

P.S.  I couldn't help myself and copied this post into the site. It says this post is like H.P. Lovecraft. He was known for horror fiction published in pulp magazines before he died in poverty. Enough already...make me stop!

It's...

I've lost track of what day it is. It's Friday, end of the week, soon off for the weekend. I know all that and yet, I haven't absorbed the fact. I still feel like I've got more week to get through. It's that feeling I used to get when I was finished skating and it was weird to walk after taking off my skates. It was a jerky, what happened to my legs stride instead of the smooth flow I had just experienced. Don't ask me why I'm thinking about skating. I haven't put on a pair of skates in...don't even make me try to think how long it's possibly been. I can't think that far back.

I'm sure at some point today, I will realize it's Friday. It hasn't settled on me yet but it will. Then. Yes, then, I will figure out the next smooth steps. I obviously need another cup of coffee to at least wake up enough to think. How does anyone lose track of it being a Friday!?
TT

It was a cold, dark morning

I woke up extra early to the sounds of the swirling, howling wind outside. I had a suspicion the temperature dropped even in my heat controlled house by how many times the air switched on to blow through the vents. Sure enough, when I finally noticed the read-out on my laptop the nifty weather gadget claimed it was 36 degrees. No matter. I am in, not out and even when I need to go out, it isn't for any long spell of time.

I can't help but think how the wind has a long, lonely sound. It's strong and forceful, pushing it's way through the streets while letting out it's forlorn moans. If it were a person, I would want to tell it calmly, to take a steady breath. Hold still and it will be fine. Whatever is happening at the moment will soon be gone.

Whoa, listen to me, like I'm some psychiatrist to the weather. Stay calm and take a breath, girlie. Have some coffee and let your brain engage before you spill any more words around. Getting up extra early on a cold, windy morning isn't always a great plan. And that wind I thought I was hearing has completely stopped. I should follow suit and do the same.
TT

Doing

Routines can be great. They offer a tremendous amount of security. I get up in the morning and make coffee, then brush my teeth, get cleaned up and get dressed. Then I pour my first cup of coffee. That happens every morning. There is a rhythm to the entire process that comes automatically to me. There is no thinking about it or making any decisions about this first, that later, maybe this should be different. It all moves smoothly and easily. I've got it down perfectly.

Routines can sometimes get in the way. I need to change my afternoon routine. Coming home after work is another automatic reflex that I don't think too hard about. It comes easily. But I am questioning my use of that time. I would rather come home and turn that time into upstairs get busy on the work I can do there. Unfortunately, after spending the entire day hunched over my work laptop, I don't necessarily want to immediately sit in front of my own at home. So I need to change up my afternoon routine somehow. Give myself a break between work and home and then go do the things I want to do that keep swirling around in my head. The things that I would have more time to tackle during my free time after my day at work. It's a tough job to break habits, and to start habits. Or it isn't, once you have a idea of what and how. I need to put a real plan in place, like come home, allow 45 minutes to unwind (what is that, how do I do that)? and then go do the next thing. I obviously need to be more specific on the details but I need to figure it out. If it's important enough to me, I will decide what to do and give it a try.  Ah...but no. There is that quote I came across recently.

Do it or not. There is no try...Yoda

Smart guy.
TT

Point B

I turned around in my desk chair this morning to appreciate my space. My desk at home is between the two windows at the front of the house on the second floor. As I pivot my chair away from the windows to the interior of the room, I can see my worktable which is directly behind me. It has the same items that have been in the same places for a long time. They have become things that I see but don't really notice anymore as I go in and out of the room.

The cork board with the index cards caught my eye this morning. Why do I still have that up and intact? The index cards have hand written descriptions of the characters in the draft of my novel that I haven't touched in about a year (I think it's closer to two). I got up to get a closer look of what I had put on each card.

Name, physical description, and a few character traits were penciled in, most in lessening degrees. Each was a pretty shallow snapshot of each character. Even reading everything that was described on the most filled card I knew it said very little about each character and not much more was added to the novel draft. I recognized all that after not noticing and/or ignoring this board and all it's index cards for so very long.

I thought I had an idea of who each character was supposed to be and how they should look when I started. I thought I had proven that by putting them up on individual index cards. I know now, that was barely the beginning. That was merely the starting point. It was only point A in an entire alphabet of steps that needed to come after that task. For some silly reason, when I finished my first draft, I thought I was at point X or even Y in the whole writing process. It was the reason I kept thinking I had done so horribly on that draft. I know now I can't judge my own work when it's only at the point A stage. There is so much more work to do to get it where it should be before I need to think about how well or badly I've written.

It's what I have been thinking lately. I have more knowledge of how I can start again and take on point B in this long process of work I need to do. I'm actually looking forward to it now that I have a clearer, in depth picture of what needs to be done.  I might have actually learned something in the past year.

Maybe that was my reason I kept that board up and intact. I knew it wasn't done. I have more work to do.



TT

Slow news

I started out thinking about the weather but who wants to hear about that? It's the same cooler temperature it was yesterday morning so not exactly a big news flash. It isn't outrageous for this time of year. It's about where it usually is at this time on the 10th of November. 

I also noticed I am making a study of the clock. I keep glancing over to check the time.  I'm thinking if I get to work 30 minutes earlier, I will be able to leave 30 minutes earlier. It's all a mind puzzle. I could also go in at regular time and use the extra minutes here and now instead of later. The problem is that I am thinking too hard about watching the clock instead of using the time one good way or the other.

A couple or ordinary subjects: time and the weather. Must be a slow news day.

TT 

Attack of the Spaghetti Squash

The cooler temperatures inspired me to cook some winter vegetables. I was looking for something different, that was fairly known, but something I hadn't attempted. I wanted to see if the hype about the squash that could substitute it's baked insides for pasta was true. I went out and bought a spaghetti squash.

It looked nice and fine in it's eggplant-shaped smooth exterior. It was an attractive shade of yellow and from what I read, the color of the outside would be in the color of the inside cooked strands. I looked over my choices and picked the one I thought was most yellow. It was solid, heavy, smooth, and just what I thought I wanted.

It was late in the day when I tucked the whole squash into the 375 degree oven. The cookbook said to cook it whole for about an hour, so I put it on a foil-lined pan and let it cook. An hour later it didn't look to be done. It didn't indent when I pressed it, so I let it go another hour before I pulled it out of the oven. I was a little puzzled since it still seemed very firm, so I grabbed a knife and barely dipped the tip into the middle of the squash.

Let me warn you. Never, no never ever, ever ever ever, dip even the tiniest tip of anything into the flesh of a steaming, hot, whole squash, just out of the oven. Did I say never ever ever! Listen to me, don't do it!

Just as I barely nicked the surface, the angry, yellow, demon exploded all over me. Hot, raging, strings landed in various globs all over my right hand and shoulder. A few hit my face but they were the first wiped away as I backed up at least 2 feet and dropped my knife. There was yellow strings covering the front of the stove and kitchen floor before me. Yowsa! I immediately put my right hand under the cold water tap and left it there for a good 10 minutes. I didn't wipe away the glob on my right shoulder until later but I finally grabbed a towel to wipe it off when I felt the burn going through.

Needless to say, when Jay got home he managed to get himself into a panic. At least I had cleaned up the squash from the kitchen floor and picked up the knife or he would have taped off the area as if it was some kind of murder scene. He wanted to whisk me off to some emergency room and I kept saying it was like a bad sunburn without the pleasure of being outdoors. He didn't appreciate my light-hearted attempts to calm the situation and kept insisting. I knew it wasn't that bad (or wouldn't be) and I was quite honestly embarrassed by being injured by a squash, especially a yellow one.

Yeah, I knew it wasn't good but it wasn't that bad. I've really had worse sunburns. The shoulder looks awful but hurts the least. My index and middle finger on my right hand burned like heck last night (I kept it iced) but there isn't a drop of pain now and all that is left now is a muddled discoloration on my knuckles.

Oh, and there isn't a drop of spaghetti squash left either. Jay dumped it for me some time last night. I don't know where or when. I only know it is gone and only the two of us know of the entire incident. I guess you could say he disposed of all evidence against me. We are safe from any impending investigations.

Gotta love him for that!
TT

Stay in character

There is nothing like the dreaded feeling of re-reading a post you published and finding that one grammatical error. You worked on it, edited it, polished it up (in the small amount of time you have from inception to delivery) and agreed it was ready. You even read it again after it was up and out in the blogosphere and you found it good.

Then comes the next morning. You arrive rested. You sit at your newly, refreshed desk and find your place. The most recent piece is pulled up in front of you and you start to read. It seems to be fine. It has created an atmosphere that is easily pulling me into the moment. I'm following along ready to continue what it has to say. Then you read the sentence that contains one word that trips it up and breaks the spell. Suddenly the reader is pulled completely out of the story and lands hard on the asphalt of technicalities. No, no! I cleaned this up. I removed all debris of reality and left a clear path to fiction. I worked hard.

It's no use. The spell is broken and now you are left with a story that could have been good if...  If only it hadn't had that one word that was incorrectly used and made the reader stumble hard out of the illusion you created. Damn, you technicalities, as I raise my fists to the grammar gods! Oh wait - that reminds me of a prologue I wrote so long ago using that bit. It was good, a real illusion for the mind and pulled the reader into the story. I should re-read that again and see where I might take it.

I will, of course, do a line-by-line check for the dreaded grammatical errors. It can only be as good as technicalities allow.
TT

PS - I fixed the error from yesterday's post. You won't find it now.

Quiet focus

A nice clean desk jumped out at me this morning. I made my way up the dark staircase and switched on the lamp that overhangs above my laptop and glanced over my handiwork. A small notepad at the far right corner aligned with pens and pencils. A box of index cards at the upper right beside the picture of special boys smiling at me from the 'Nana' inscribed frame. A wide expanse of empty, wood surface between these things and my laptop at the furthermost left side. I did good yesterday. This is nice. Impressive. This is really conducive to do the work I imagined I would do when I first set up this area.

That's a lot to get and feel from approaching a spot I've been sitting at for years. Sometimes it only takes some small changes to get your focus back and remember what and why these things were put into place. How nice that I even have this spot that is all my own. How nice to be able to appreciate it all over again. If you don't mind, I think I'll sit in my space a little longer in the quiet moment I have right now.
TT

Removing the sticky notes

The rain has been coming down all night. It's a soft, quiet rain that has steadily made it's way through the course of the evening and into this morning. I woke too early, but what was I going to do? I was awake no matter the time on the clock.

I got up and cleaned the kitchen. Of course, that was after I made coffee and was dressed. I balanced out the store's receipts from yesterday and have been fiddling around with an application on my laptop. I'm thinking I would rather work from home today but I didn't get that cleared from the bosses so that isn't going to happen.

Since I cleared all the bills on my desk, all I see are yellow sticky notes on the top surface. I guess they blended into invisibility when all I saw before were the bill notices. Now that those are gone, I see all the quickly, scribbled notes I made to myself and stuck to random places on my desk because at the time of writing them, they seemed important. They are all notes about writing.

• Action/Reaction
• Cause and effect
• Ripple effect
• Chain of events
• Domino Theory
• Story Arc

Narrators need to:

• Create memory
• Create horizons
• Disclose all

Importance of first impression.

• Illustrate the characters core at this moment
• what would their portrait look like
• what would she be doing, wearing, thinking about
• why would this be what she chose?
• Connect with the characters core and figure out what she would do

You can't say I haven't done my homework. These are just the sticky notes and not all the other information, articles, newsletters and lessons I've gone through. Trying to learn. And in my head I know I need to put the work into starting with that draft of completed work I wrote. So I have a sticky note for that on how to get going.

Read the book - Start to finish and take notes. Don't make changes yet.
Look for repeated words, starts of paragraphs that are the same, changed tenses. Stop at end of chapter-not middle.

Great...sorry I got carried away. Now that I have documented all my sticky notes here, I can remove them from my desk. I can clear it off so it's a nice wood surface again and focus, instead of being caught up in random thoughts.

It's still early and the rain is still trickling down. I'll use the time to clear my desk and pull up that draft. It sounds like I need to start reading it. Start to finish. Without making changes. Yet.

Go.
TT

Obsessive energy

I've become obsessed with paying off everything. I just spent the past 30 minutes finagling, calculating, transferring, and finally deciding to clear everything I could possibly clear from my tiny list of debts. I have made awesome strides in getting every last credit paid in full including my mortgage (last year) and culminating in zeroing out my final credit card balance (last month). So, what could I possibly be obsessing over now? You would think all the energy being put into bill paying would have dissipated by now and it had. Believe me, I thought it was done. Then I got the bill for taxes on the house.

I knew it was coming even though it was automatically paid all these past years by my mortgage company (along with my insurance-which I paid in full in July). But, it was so soon after I built up this 'gotta pay everybody and everything' attitude. I had the need to clear the balances on all the spreadsheets and all the data on everything. They all must be zero! Well, this tax bill sat on my desk for a week and, in my mind, it was burning a hole so deep it was going to leave a smoldering permanent impression if I didn't do something about it soon. It wasn't officially due until February 2015 but that was too far away. I couldn't possibly hold onto it that long, no way. That is when I spend the last 30 minutes calculating and transferring and paying it in full. Along with the tiny balance of $2.54 that was left (interest) on the credit card from last month, I can say my desk is cleared of all and every bill. Nothing left to pay. Mission accomplished, obsession needs to find another place to use up all that energy.

You might think, well goody for her. What a thing to be worried about.  If only everybody had these type of problems and obsessions. I have no idea what anyone thinks, but if that is what is going through your head, let me tell you a little secret. This was the tail end of a much more than 30 year obsession. It didn't happen today or last month or last year. This is something I have been pounding for a lifetime, so if I feel a little obsessed at this point, so be it. I'm sure I can start transferring that energy toward other things now.
TT

Shouldn't read past 9

I wrote up four book reviews yesterday morning for the four books I read in October. That seems few when there have been months of two books a week. I guess my time is being consumed in other areas where I cannot drag out the book I'm dragging along with me and read. I hadn't really noticed until I went to take a look at what I had read last month.

Two of the books were the latest for their specific series. One series has been going on so long that the one I just read was number 38. That's a lot of entries for the same book. But I have to say, there is something about already knowing the characters, the setting, the friends of the characters and how they usually react is easy. You don't have to think real hard about figuring out who they are because you already know. The other was number 19 in the series. I've always enjoyed the main character in this book. He's a loner, individual, strong opinions, smart and witty. There is always a lot of action and that is the reason I've read all of these books. They both are a good, go-to book to read when I can't decide what else to choose. I can rely on these to provide that comfortable entertainment.

The trouble was I realized I might not want to read any series that goes into double digits. I'm almost thinking I would rather stick to stand alone novels from now on even though that isn't what authors and publishers might want to hear. My reason for thinking of stopping the series reading is because no matter how well the characters are developed in each book, I've figured out these authors formulas. Yes. Hate to say that because these are not romance novels I'm reading, but crime-homicide, sniper-murder mysteries. I can tell you in each book where the main character will get rattled, when they will find the clue, when the arrest will be made then go wrong, only to find out the main character had it all figured out to play that way and ending with justice being served and the humble main character going back to the nothings of regular life before the trauma occurred.

 I also think that besides figuring out their formulas, I am finding the characters being a little stifled and dull. Some of their polish is wearing thin and yet they still try to act as they were at the beginning of the series.  You would think that by number 19 and certainly number 38 in a series, something should have changed them in some way. And yet, they are exactly the same as they were at the beginning and I'm finding that hard to swallow. My comfortable, reliable characters are still the same smart individuals to a fault. The worst part of them being stuck in some personality timewarp is that they seem to have lost their wit.

It will be a while until the next in each of these series comes out again. I don't have to worry about whether or not I will pick up the next of these series. I've got plenty of time to read a whole batch of other books. Well, maybe not as much time if I'm only getting through four in a month.
TT

Counted down

Here it is. I've arrived at my Friday of the work week even though it's only Thursday. Splendid. I also managed to get whatever rest I needed to dispel the dragging, tiredness I was feeling. A good nights sleep and the prospect of not having to work on Friday has lifted me right up. What an easy combination.

Of course, Friday is the end of the month and Halloween. I don't have commitments until the evening when we will join Sonny, Selma, and the kids at their house to pass the holiday. Oh wait, I take that back, since I will go out early in the morning to have some blood work taken. Yearly routine stuff that I am winding down for the year, but that leaves me the whole middle chunk of the day for me. I am putting a hem into a gown for my niece. The eighth grader took first place in her regional choir solo competition. She will be going to state. I get the proud piece of making sure the dress looks good on her. I'll take that piece.

So, I guess it's time to start up my day so I can get the work done that needs to get done so I can come back and do the work that I want to do.  Sounds like a plan.
TT

Tired or not

Boy, oh boy.  What's today? I'm usually really good in the mornings but today I'm already dragging a bit. I know I've been busy but what's going on here? I'm going to say it's mostly in my head and the anticipation of completing the week is looming too large. It's making me feel more tired in shorter a time than is truly the case. Mind over matter and all that jazz. I'll steal the cliche.  Sure. Why not? I'm too tired to think up anything original.

Well, not that tired. And the chores that were left over from the weekend are mostly all finished. I'll have some smooth sailing in a few days. And If I check the calendar, yes, yep, Wednesday. Friday is just around the bend.  Keep truckin'.
TT

It's darker out

I'm counting down days this week. One-done. Three more to go then I'm off for three. If today is going to be anything like yesterday it will be history before I know it. Busy, busy and then it will be two. I was never good at math but looking forward to time off has never left me without a solution.

I can't believe how incredibly dark it is at this time in the mornings. It seems since the time change is coming up this weekend the mornings have been darker than they were two or even one month ago. This same time last month wasn't this dark. Was it? Oh well, and next week this time it will be...let me see...fall back, right?...twenty after five instead of what it is now...twenty after six. I'm confused. I'll think about that when I'm off on the weekend. I'm too much caught up in the next few days of getting everything done at work and counting down days. Still a few more to go.
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Start

That was one fast weekend. I must have blinked.

Monday morning, let's get it started. Since it doesn't feel like I had any time off the past two days, it will be nice to only have the four day work-week I planned. I decided to take Friday off and hopefully the three-day weekend coming up will more than make up for what feels like I just lost. I should probably do some of the things I didn't from this past weekend. I managed to get the kitchen cleaned up, but no laundry. I can work on that today. That's a plan. In fact, the more chores I get done during the next few days will give me back that much more time during my upcoming time off. That sounds like a better plan. Monday morning with a plan. Let's get it started.
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Fly by

Well, yesterday managed to do what I hoped it wouldn't and flew by. The good news is I already have a head start on today. All the cookies I need to fill the orders Dante received have been baked and are cooling. Packaging for these orders are ready and waiting. The kitchen is clean, fresh coffee has been made, and I can take a look at getting Sunday rolling. I'm sure it will be steam-rolling really quickly!
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Early start

I got started early this morning. Mr. L is scheduled to come by this morning and I wanted to get some paperwork out of the way and swing by the grocery store before he arrived. I've done that and now I'm waiting for his arrival while I check out cookie packaging. I'm going back and forth with boxes, tins, pails from two different sources. I won't order anything yet since I still need to make some decisions about what I want and how I want to be represented but Dante did get some orders yesterday. I will be baking again this weekend. Hopefully, it doesn't fly by too quickly!
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Good cookies

The cookie order was saved! My apology email turned the tables and the client wanted to order afterall. There seemed to be a coincidence brewing since Dante (my youngest son) was texting me yesterday after I thought I had lost the order. He was asking if I could bake some cookies he would use as samples at work to try and get a few orders. It was in the midst of our texting when I got the phone call from the missed client and she placed the order. I was able to text him and say that yes, I definitely would be baking, and, by the way, I just rung up an order. We decided it occurred due to some good vibrations.

I did my baking yesterday evening. The customer's order will be delivered this morning and Dante's samples are also ready to go. I think this really seals the deal as far with my updating. I have packaging to order, labels to update, and all those things that happen that doesn't have anything to do with baking a cookie. Even with all that, the cookies still taste really good.
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Yesterdays cookies

I missed an email yesterday for a cookie order! With all the emails I get from advertisers I have to admit I wasn't paying any attention to my phone yesterday. I quickly sent a response this morning with hopes that they will still think favorably of me (the cookies) and will come back again in the future. I'm sure she found another place to fill her order by now. I'm not expecting a response but at least I acknowledged my error and hope to keep in some good standing.

I HAVE to update that site. It's either update it or take it down for a while. The sensible answer is to update it. There isn't a constant stream of orders coming in. They are very rare and far between. The problem is, if I get an order it's a drop everything and bake, package, label, and deliver...right now! With my regular full-time job, the baking is done after work and then usually I need to take time during work to deliver or pawn it off to Jay for delivery. He has helped me in the past on deliveries. It can get a little stressful since everything gets thrown into hyperdrive speed once an order comes in. Which isn't that often yet...

It's left me pondering over this for months, while I haven't done a thing about it. Make up your mind already! Pull it down or fix it. I guess I better get to fixing.
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Pick up the pace

This is turning into a long work week. At least it seems the days are stretching out a little longer than normal. Instead of whipping through the day quickly, the time is pacing out very slowly and monotonously. Gosh, can we please pick up the pace?! Can we get to the weekend already?

The answer is no. Not yet. I'm not even half way through, so far. Why do I want to wish away all these days? And they really have been good days. The weather is right on point. A few degrees less in the afternoon and we can call afternoon runs perfection. Yeah, I admit, this transition month of changing up running from early morning to afternoon hasn't been going very well. I haven't put in the work this month and haven't well, I haven't been making any effort to make the change-over. So nothing has been happening on that front.

It will. It's just a matter of cycling through. A few days this month without isn't going to make all that much a difference in the whole scheme of it all. I just wish the day clipped along a little faster at work.
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Not blocked

I bet I can stare at a blank document longer than anyone else. I seem to be able to sit longer and longer in front of a page without putting a single word on it. Oh, don't get me wrong. It isn't that thoughts aren't having their own little parade in my head but did anyone think to organize this promenade? Why don't you write that down? Why not this? No. Don't think so. What? You're kidding. What does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?

Okay, that made me grin. The thoughts are there. It isn't as if it's all hollow within. The steady stream of marchers are making their way down main street, one after another, some with more enthusiasm than the others, but all keeping up a constant flow.

I guess there isn't really such a thing as writer's block. I don't know a time thoughts haven't stomped around in my head. It's just a matter of letting them all parade through until you can see what you have and get an idea of how to get it all organized. I think that means I need to get what I've already written a little more organized to make it a better parade.
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Feeling good

A took a run around the block yesterday morning. It wasn't long and it wasn't fast but it broke my two week hiatus. It felt really good.

This morning I put the top down on the car and that new season coolness blew over me. What an invigorating way to start the new week! There doesn't seem to be a care in the world in the midst of that clear, clean, crispness. It's hard not to be in a good mood when driving around in that car.
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Day puzzles and life carts

What an absolute privilege to be up on a Sunday morning and take some time. No rushing, no pressures, no way anything can tip the cart of life over on it's side. There are a million different things I can think of that 'should' be done at this moment, but nothing I can't do later or in just a few. This Sunday I can take everything in stride. The things that need to get done will be done, I have no doubt, and it will all fit into the puzzle of the day.

Grocery shopping, cleaning up, chores...these are the normal activities that make the day-to-day run smoothly. So that I can again have that privilege of stopping and doing the extra things, the no pressure things. And if that cart is to start to tilt and even fall, think of the laughing energy as I stoop down and sit among the split mess. Sorting through all the things I carry around, I can pick up each item, turn it over, and wonder why I carry it in the cart in the first place.
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Permission

I absolved myself from running last week. I conscientiously told myself it was okay to not get up and run those early morning pushes I've been meticulously beating down for three months. Lot's of miles in the past three months. Lots of early morning wake up calls and quick get ready for work days. That first morning last week I told myself I was okay to not run or think about it for a week. Without that acknowledged permission to myself, it would have played in my mind, back and forth, run, don't run, the entire week, which would have negated the relaxing effect I was needing.

That type of permission worked for me. Then I ended up with a cold the beginning of this week. At the very first sign I took my zicam and sure enough, it seems to have shortened the recover time. But I've gone almost another week without a run. Here's the thing. I'm not exactly beating myself up over it. I know I am registered for a race on Saturday. In the past I would have been in a feverish sweat over the fact I knew I wasn't going to start. I would be admonishing myself for missing another registered run. (There really hasn't been that many but the few stand out).

It isn't the end of it all. I'm still running (well, I will start again), and there are races around every corner of every weekend. This one on Saturday or the one after that or next month. It also seems I'm in the middle of the season change when I can move my running time from early morning to after work. The weather will be that good. The bonus is I already have the foundation of the past three awesome months of training to think about using it toward a registered race or not. It's not like I'm starting from scratch.

Things are forever changing and the idea of getting everything to a perfect place is only setting yourself up for a rude awakening when it changes.  It will change. You can work toward the things you want the best way you can, but need to be open to re-evaluate it as you go along. It can keep you in the present while still working toward the future. It's amazing when you realize that subtle changes can be made without an upheaval of everything you've done. It's amazing how far a little permission can go.
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Big, fat, check

Today is my day. It's seems to be a totally unsuspecting Wednesday. I didn't change my routine a smidgen and yet I managed to put a huge, big, fat, check-mark after something I have been wanting, trying, hoping, to be able to accomplish over the course of decades.

Yes, it was a long-haul. Yes, there were times when things got much worse before they got better. Yes, there were times when it all seemed to hold steady and didn't move downward the way it should. Yes, today it feels like a major item on a bucket list was accomplished.

My debt is zero. All those nagging credits are balanced to zero. How about not having any extraneous payments to make except utilities and such? Okay, yes, there is still one car payment but that is reasonable. It's not even two car payments.  And not even a house payment. Knowing that this would happen today, I kidded the family that I would be broke through the end of the month until I am paid again but that is simply a joke. Funny right? I know I'm smiling. It probably isn't the type of thing that would be on anyone's bucket list but I guess it's always been on mine. And today, I was all over it.  I got it done.

Today is my day.
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Poof!

I have almost reached a triumphant moment. I will have paid off all credit by this coming Wednesday (payday-the 15th). The house was paid in full last December 2013 and I have been working on getting rid of every last credit card balance on every last credit card we have used. We had a slight set back when we decided to redo the backyard deck and add the cover. It put a little more of a balance on the last card that was due to be paid. But no more...as of this coming Wednesday.

Not only will all that debt be paid, but most of the upkeep on the house is completed. The deck was redone but prior to that we had the A/C units replaced. We had the entire interior of the house repainted, popcorn ceilings scraped and replaced, all new carpeting on the staircase and bedrooms, and new tile flooring on the first floor. We got new appliances in the kitchen, a new washer (dryer hasn't given out yet), and I even paid for some wear and tear maintenance on my car such as new belts, chains, converters and flushes. Oh, so that reminds me. Even though my car is paid in full, we actually still have a note on Jay's car. But all else...poof! As of this coming Wednesday.

I wonder how long it would take for me to slam the balance on that car?
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Interim

This must be my week to clear out and clean up what I have been doing and change it. I guess I'm needing a rest from pushing so hard on my running. I have gotten up early enough (way before break of dawn type early) but didn't have the gusto to gear up and head out into the dark. This week, no runs. Wait. I don't think it had anything to do with lack of gusto. I think I am in that wait-for-it time when I know it's all going to get rearranged again. I'm getting a little tired of running out in the darkness. I'd like to see a few things when I'm out, and it only seems it's darker and darker as I head out earlier and earlier to get the miles I want to travel in before work.

The time doesn't change for another month. The weather is beginning to break down the higher temperatures for a few degrees milder. But it was still 92 degrees yesterday afternoon and that can be a bit much sometimes. So, I'm caught in an in-between this or that. I'd rather start running again after work. I might need to cut back some mileage and even head to the gym a few times in the interim. I might need to lay out a temporary new plan and even take a few days off.

It's all good. Clear out and clean up. Let the body, feet, heels and rice krispy ankles heal while I change up the routine. It's not stopping, but putting the fun back in the run.
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Average

Another weekend has gone into the history books. Not really. There wasn't anything that would be interesting enough to record. I couldn't even offer up any tasks that might be close enough to set down as anything other than 'not much, average, nothing really.' As far as weekends go, this past one was a great example of being described merely as gone. Don't get me wrong. There isn't a thing wrong with having an average weekend. I look forward to weekends that I can admit I didn't do much because it really means I got around to the average, everyday, things that get put off all week until there is time. Time I get on an average weekend to do them.

And so, here I am, Monday morning, all caught up and ready. It's time for that week-day routine and after that, since I'm all caught up, I might be able to figure out what it is I'm ready for.
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Not today

Week 2 Day 12

The 'Coach' on my phone says I'm supposed to run 4 miles today. I knew yesterday I was going to skip it. The details stated that today's run is supposed to help maintain the fitness I've built up over the past week and a half and to help loosen me up for my next long run tomorrow. I don't think so. Another four miles today after 19 in the past four with at least another 8 tomorrow (hopefully 10-12, possibly, maybe)? just isn't in my game plan. All the signs are that I need to take a day, rest, and get back at it a little more refreshed. My legs are getting stiff, calves are tight, paces are slowing down, way down, and I'm not feeling it.

So, as far as running goes, my dear electronic 'Coach', I have to say no. Sorry. I can't. I have to break this date, but it isn't as if I don't want to see you again. Tomorrow is Saturday with cooler temperatures and lower humidity and all that morning time to spend. How about that? See 'ya tomorrow.
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