It is my birthday today.
There are many benefits to having your birthday on the last day of the year. It started the first year I was born although the benefit that year belonged to my parents. Granted, they had to miss a party but they got a tax deduction that year now, didn’t they?
I have proven reasons why the last day of the year is a great day for a birthday. I have found it’s the perfect day.
Think about it.
• Most of the stress of the holidays has already dissipated and there is still a feeling of celebration.
• If someone is going after-the-holiday shopping they can usually pick up my gift at a discount.
• Everyone is in a good mood that day.
• There is never any reason to stay home and feel sorry for myself because there is always a party to go to or a reason to throw one.
• I don’t get older until the very last possible day.
I have never really been all that worried about that last one but it is accurate.
The last day of the year also seems to work well for me since I have a tendency to take stock in what I have done and what I need to do. It is exactly what I have been doing the last few days. It is perfect timing for me since all new things can start to happen the next day…the day after my birthday which is always the first day of a New Year.
It adds a certain flow to which way I should be thinking. It is about those directions I want to be heading in that I mentioned a few days ago.
There are more things I would like to do this coming year that I have not mentioned and probably don’t need to. I have given it all a lot of thought like I knew I would and will continue to.
It’s that clean slate. It’s the start here. Pass go, collect $200 and start building houses where I always pictured them to be. I am the only one that can put that game in motion and work for it to happen.
It’s not just my birthday. It is the perfect day.
TT
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Writing pledge
I told you I had a lot of thinking to do when it came to the things I want to see about getting done next year!
Yes, just another installment of what I am trying to line up for myself. Actually, I do this to some extent every year. Other people must do it too since there is always talk about New Year resolutions. Isn’t that what everyone does at the end of the year? Don't they think about what they want to do and resolve to do it in the coming year?
I guess it isn't that different for me. I think now is a very good time to assess. Committing myself to prospective things that I want to do should be a good thing, right? I guess.
I have been tumbling this idea of writing around in my head for a while now. I have actually started two stories that never have been completed.
I am making a commitment to finish one complete story this coming year. I don’t know to what extent it will be finished but the entire story will need to be written before the end of next year. If it is a first draft, then it will be a completed first draft. If it is further along, it will still be a completed story.
This is not an easy thing for me to commit to. I have my ways of trying to avoid and deny that it is a possibility that I will even be able to do this.
The fact is I will do it.
I don’t even care if it’s god-awful terrible but it will be complete. No, that isn’t the goal of course, to be god-awful, but even if it is, it will be a completed piece of god-awful.
So there…I’ve said it out loud and can’t pull it back. I am working on my exact plan since I can’t leave it to chance and when I feel like it. It will work itself into a slot after running, showering, dinner, if necessary, or a more concentrated time during my rest days from running.
I can do it and I will.
Let’s just cross our fingers and hope for better than god-awful.
TT
Yes, just another installment of what I am trying to line up for myself. Actually, I do this to some extent every year. Other people must do it too since there is always talk about New Year resolutions. Isn’t that what everyone does at the end of the year? Don't they think about what they want to do and resolve to do it in the coming year?
I guess it isn't that different for me. I think now is a very good time to assess. Committing myself to prospective things that I want to do should be a good thing, right? I guess.
I have been tumbling this idea of writing around in my head for a while now. I have actually started two stories that never have been completed.
I am making a commitment to finish one complete story this coming year. I don’t know to what extent it will be finished but the entire story will need to be written before the end of next year. If it is a first draft, then it will be a completed first draft. If it is further along, it will still be a completed story.
This is not an easy thing for me to commit to. I have my ways of trying to avoid and deny that it is a possibility that I will even be able to do this.
The fact is I will do it.
I don’t even care if it’s god-awful terrible but it will be complete. No, that isn’t the goal of course, to be god-awful, but even if it is, it will be a completed piece of god-awful.
So there…I’ve said it out loud and can’t pull it back. I am working on my exact plan since I can’t leave it to chance and when I feel like it. It will work itself into a slot after running, showering, dinner, if necessary, or a more concentrated time during my rest days from running.
I can do it and I will.
Let’s just cross our fingers and hope for better than god-awful.
TT
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Running plan
I know I want to get myself ready to start the New Year with a running plan. I know I can’t get anything accomplished by waiting until I am ready or when I feel like it. Things don’t just happen or it doesn’t work that way for me. Nothing I want to get done happens if I wait until I feel like it. I have to have some basic, even skeletal, plan in order. I have to do something to put it into motion.
I can even change the plan along the way if it needs adjustments but I have to have something in place. I have to have some (slightly) realistic way of getting close to what I want to do. It doesn’t happen on its own. Nothing worthwhile is ever that easy for me.
If I am going to get back into running I want to give myself some achievable goals so I can work myself into it. I decided to start with 10-12 miles a week and very gradually increase the numbers.
I broke down the miles into a five week plan with running five days a week and two days off.
It goes like this…
Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat Miles
2 rest 2 2.5 2 rest 3 11.5
2 rest 2 2.5 2 rest 3 11.5
3 rest 2 3 2 rest 3 13
3 rest 3 3.5 2 rest 4 15.5
3 rest 3 4 2 rest 4 16
I will need to see how it goes. I am not sure if it is too easy or too challenging.
I also will not allow myself the excuse of not running outside as long as the weather is 50 degrees or higher. I can tolerate that temperature. (Not really but I’ll do it). On days when the weather won’t permit, I will go to the gym. I am eliminating excuses and impromptu decisions by knowing what I need to do and doing it.
Besides…I already started this past Sunday with my first two miles outside and then another 2 miles yesterday. I know the plan said to rest but I knew the weather today was not going to be good so I switched. I will rest today and continue on Wednesday.
My new running shoes I got for Christmas feel great!
And so do I. I’ve gotten a head start on my first goal for next year!
TT
I can even change the plan along the way if it needs adjustments but I have to have something in place. I have to have some (slightly) realistic way of getting close to what I want to do. It doesn’t happen on its own. Nothing worthwhile is ever that easy for me.
If I am going to get back into running I want to give myself some achievable goals so I can work myself into it. I decided to start with 10-12 miles a week and very gradually increase the numbers.
I broke down the miles into a five week plan with running five days a week and two days off.
It goes like this…
Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat Miles
2 rest 2 2.5 2 rest 3 11.5
2 rest 2 2.5 2 rest 3 11.5
3 rest 2 3 2 rest 3 13
3 rest 3 3.5 2 rest 4 15.5
3 rest 3 4 2 rest 4 16
I will need to see how it goes. I am not sure if it is too easy or too challenging.
I also will not allow myself the excuse of not running outside as long as the weather is 50 degrees or higher. I can tolerate that temperature. (Not really but I’ll do it). On days when the weather won’t permit, I will go to the gym. I am eliminating excuses and impromptu decisions by knowing what I need to do and doing it.
Besides…I already started this past Sunday with my first two miles outside and then another 2 miles yesterday. I know the plan said to rest but I knew the weather today was not going to be good so I switched. I will rest today and continue on Wednesday.
My new running shoes I got for Christmas feel great!
And so do I. I’ve gotten a head start on my first goal for next year!
TT
Monday, December 28, 2009
Goal pondering
I have been thinking about directions I want to be heading in the coming year. I don’t believe these directions are any further off than they have been before. I think these are the same things I have been trying to accomplish for at least the last few years.
What I have discovered when thinking about these things is that I achieve some form of the goal each time. I could say that last year I wanted to run a 10K and thought October would be a realistic goal to achieve it. The fact was I found a really nice 10K and completed it in March. My trouble was I didn’t continue to train or even run consistently. I ran my 10K in March 2009 and didn’t really ever get back into running the way I really had hoped throughout the year.
I missed the benefit of what I was really trying to accomplish by thinking too hard about achieving it and once I did, I didn’t re-set my goal.
Okay, maybe I tried slightly to re-adjust but there was a lot of life happening the first part of the year. I was unaware that my anemia had crept back and my iron levels were very low. Stress was abounding at work with layoffs the company I work for had never had to deal with before. It obviously took a harder toll on me than I thought but the evidence shows me different. I missed 8 posts out of a total of 11 for the entire year the month of June, when the second wave of layoffs happened.
But no excuses. I won’t look back except to see what can be used to move forward.
I am thinking about my direction this coming year.
It’s a lot to think about.
TT
What I have discovered when thinking about these things is that I achieve some form of the goal each time. I could say that last year I wanted to run a 10K and thought October would be a realistic goal to achieve it. The fact was I found a really nice 10K and completed it in March. My trouble was I didn’t continue to train or even run consistently. I ran my 10K in March 2009 and didn’t really ever get back into running the way I really had hoped throughout the year.
I missed the benefit of what I was really trying to accomplish by thinking too hard about achieving it and once I did, I didn’t re-set my goal.
Okay, maybe I tried slightly to re-adjust but there was a lot of life happening the first part of the year. I was unaware that my anemia had crept back and my iron levels were very low. Stress was abounding at work with layoffs the company I work for had never had to deal with before. It obviously took a harder toll on me than I thought but the evidence shows me different. I missed 8 posts out of a total of 11 for the entire year the month of June, when the second wave of layoffs happened.
But no excuses. I won’t look back except to see what can be used to move forward.
I am thinking about my direction this coming year.
It’s a lot to think about.
TT
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Good Marketing
I have a total of 250 posts today. It was about a week and a half ago I counted the total days since I started posting through the current day. I also counted my number of posts to compare against that number.
I found that since April 11th when I wrote my first post this year, I have missed 11.
I only mention this since I am constantly gauging the things I do. How do I stack up, how can I get more done, how can I get better?
I think I had an idea when I started this blog to post every day…thus the name Tessa Today. It’s hard to live up to that name when you look and it is a post from yesterday (Tessa Yesterday)? At least that seems to be the guideline for me.
Maybe it shouldn’t be and I have been told I shouldn’t press so hard. I do need to let go a bit when my knuckles have turned the currently popular shade of vampire pale. But I am improving even if it is only in my mind. I have found a significant amount of discipline by tackling it every day. I know now some days will not be good but a small price for me when I find something good usually follows if I keep at it.
So this is just another marker I have managed to pass as I continue down this road. Maybe I shouldn’t say I’ve missed 11 posts. Maybe I should say that out of a possible 261, I have 250 posts.
It’s all in how you market it.
TT
I found that since April 11th when I wrote my first post this year, I have missed 11.
I only mention this since I am constantly gauging the things I do. How do I stack up, how can I get more done, how can I get better?
I think I had an idea when I started this blog to post every day…thus the name Tessa Today. It’s hard to live up to that name when you look and it is a post from yesterday (Tessa Yesterday)? At least that seems to be the guideline for me.
Maybe it shouldn’t be and I have been told I shouldn’t press so hard. I do need to let go a bit when my knuckles have turned the currently popular shade of vampire pale. But I am improving even if it is only in my mind. I have found a significant amount of discipline by tackling it every day. I know now some days will not be good but a small price for me when I find something good usually follows if I keep at it.
So this is just another marker I have managed to pass as I continue down this road. Maybe I shouldn’t say I’ve missed 11 posts. Maybe I should say that out of a possible 261, I have 250 posts.
It’s all in how you market it.
TT
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Holiday pics
I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday! It certainly turned out great for all of us. I have to say we certainly enjoyed our time in the kitchen and yesterday's menu was a bit of a challenge and a bit more food than most should ever consume in one sitting.
We managed to keep our portions under control, except for our favorite dishes - and each of us had our own. But we took a break in-between our appetizers and entries. We actually were anxious to try the next dish as we churned them out. It was more fun (and work) and the thought even passed through our minds to stop before we accomplished the entire menu.
We didn't stop...we completed the task and although everyone was overly full...it certainly left smiles on everyones faces for the experience.
I tried to capture as much of the food in snaps so I could share and I've put together this album for you to browse.
http://picasaweb.google.com/TintoriT/SevenFishes#
Luckily, I have the entire weekend off to get my regular routines back in order. Since I probably have gained all the few pounds I dropped since the beginning of this month, I'll have to try out these new items I got yesterday.
New running shoes and tee!
TT
We managed to keep our portions under control, except for our favorite dishes - and each of us had our own. But we took a break in-between our appetizers and entries. We actually were anxious to try the next dish as we churned them out. It was more fun (and work) and the thought even passed through our minds to stop before we accomplished the entire menu.
We didn't stop...we completed the task and although everyone was overly full...it certainly left smiles on everyones faces for the experience.
I tried to capture as much of the food in snaps so I could share and I've put together this album for you to browse.
http://picasaweb.google.com/TintoriT/SevenFishes#
Luckily, I have the entire weekend off to get my regular routines back in order. Since I probably have gained all the few pounds I dropped since the beginning of this month, I'll have to try out these new items I got yesterday.
TT
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wid da fishes
Merry Christmas to all...
A quick run down of our Christmas Menu for today. Our brainstormed version of the Feast of the Seven Fishes...
Appetizers
Crisped Calamari
Oysters on the Half Shell
Oysters Rockefeller
Crab Cakes
Manhattan Clam Chowder
Entries
Lobster Linguine with Cream infused Red Sauce
Shrimp & Angel Hair pasta with fresh Tomato & Artichoke
Baked Mahi with Lemon Caper Sauce
Homemade Ravioli stuffed with Shrimp,Spinach, Ricotta
Dessert
Chocolate Swirl Cheesecake
And to all good night!
Okay, I am not going to sleep yet, but it has gotten so late and we are just getting to the entries. I was hoping to have posted more but this is what it is and we just got hungry again after all the appetizers. Seven seafoods...we've had four and three to go but four more entries...then dessert. So then, need to keep cooking! And no doubt...Merry, merry Christmas it is and to all!
TT
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Capire- ca-pish?
Was I ranting about rushing yesterday? I didn't know the meaning of the word yesterday if I thought that was rushing. I am definitely going to have to square off and get my time management skills into play. I do have a few of those skills - the managing time ones - except I have a tendency to overbook myself and then scream at myself later for not getting it all done. Or the other side of that is I will get all or most of it done and pay the consequences later for exhausting myself.
I went over to Sonny’s house to decide on our menu for Christmas dinner. He thought it was a good idea to try the Feast of the Seven Fishes. This is an Italian menu traditionally served on Christmas Eve in order to keep it meatless for the holiday. The idea is to serve seven seafood courses to represent the 7 days it took to create the world or the seven sacraments; there is also another version with 11 to represent the 12 disciples minus Judas. Sonny was slightly concerned that we would do this on Christmas instead of the eve. I told him Italians can’t decide on the representation so we were probably okay on the day. We are not out to break anyone’s traditions just to challenge ourselves with a food spread.
And what an undertaking this will be! We love our seafood and we were able to come up with a menu of seven. I’ll post the menu but not until after we shop to make sure we can get all our ingredients. I will need to prepare the homemade ravioli prior and the…yes; this is where the time management comes in. I am not taking time from work although I get off at 2:30 today, but I’m supposed to fit in…before we go to Jay’s sister’s house…and I was supposed to…then it’s the day…and I need to bake…but first…and I didn’t plan but was asked…and I need to pick up… I was going to wear…the grill pan…don’t have time to sit…iron what?...didn’t you…now?
Now. Right now.
It all happens because we make it happen. I do it because I can and because I love it. The whole process, the whole thing, all the people and feelings it brings. All of the rants, the rush, the fitting it in and the even not always making it are parts of it. It is what we talk about later about the year we did this, or the year that was great or not...and it becomes our traditions and our stories.
Can I have a glass of wine? Maybe I do have time to sit. Somehow it just came to the top of my time management priority list.
TT
I went over to Sonny’s house to decide on our menu for Christmas dinner. He thought it was a good idea to try the Feast of the Seven Fishes. This is an Italian menu traditionally served on Christmas Eve in order to keep it meatless for the holiday. The idea is to serve seven seafood courses to represent the 7 days it took to create the world or the seven sacraments; there is also another version with 11 to represent the 12 disciples minus Judas. Sonny was slightly concerned that we would do this on Christmas instead of the eve. I told him Italians can’t decide on the representation so we were probably okay on the day. We are not out to break anyone’s traditions just to challenge ourselves with a food spread.
And what an undertaking this will be! We love our seafood and we were able to come up with a menu of seven. I’ll post the menu but not until after we shop to make sure we can get all our ingredients. I will need to prepare the homemade ravioli prior and the…yes; this is where the time management comes in. I am not taking time from work although I get off at 2:30 today, but I’m supposed to fit in…before we go to Jay’s sister’s house…and I was supposed to…then it’s the day…and I need to bake…but first…and I didn’t plan but was asked…and I need to pick up… I was going to wear…the grill pan…don’t have time to sit…iron what?...didn’t you…now?
Now. Right now.
It all happens because we make it happen. I do it because I can and because I love it. The whole process, the whole thing, all the people and feelings it brings. All of the rants, the rush, the fitting it in and the even not always making it are parts of it. It is what we talk about later about the year we did this, or the year that was great or not...and it becomes our traditions and our stories.
Can I have a glass of wine? Maybe I do have time to sit. Somehow it just came to the top of my time management priority list.
TT
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Holiday rush
I allowed myself to get bogged down today. The one thing I wanted to do was spend some time writing. I had some time early morning before heading into work. I wasn’t sure of my exact topic but I was going to let it flow and see where my thoughts headed. I can sometimes brainstorm an idea by just free-styling words on the page. That works some of the time and sometimes it just turns into nothing, but it’s worth doing since there are times I am able to decipher or pick out one thing that strikes me to zero in on.
So I was set up and ready to go.
You know what they say about the best laid plans. Maybe you don’t but I’ve lost so much time already I can’t go back and research it to make sure I explain it exactly.
I logged in, checked my email and there was a confirmation on a package I had sent. Oh, good news. I went in and looked. They had only sent one of two items I ordered. Why? What happened to the holiday delivery promises and free shipping if they can put all items in as few packages as possible? I was flipping back and forth from email to order status to carrier sites. I was on the verge of dialing their number to talk to one of their representatives.
I realized it was too early in the morning to start a rant about a package. How many of those calls must they get and why would I want to start their day with that? I refrained and tried to take a breath and decided the package(s) would arrive when they arrived.
So I settled in again and started 35-40 minutes later. (Okay – I got distracted and searched for another item while I was thinking about it). I was feeling a bit rushed as I knew time was winding down and away from me. I started a line then copied it so I could paste it into the word document of the day to continue. The document for the day I went to was occupied by another draft I hadn’t finished. Drat! I closed that one and went to the document for the day before. Again! When did I write these drafts and leave them!
I keep seven word documents available named Monday thru Sunday so I can track draft posts as I am working on them. Obviously, I haven’t been tracking them as well as I should be!
Now I feel a need to take care of my administrative clean-up with my writing instead of the writing! Right…I’ll have time for that two days before Christmas.
Why didn’t they ship both items in one box?
TT
So I was set up and ready to go.
You know what they say about the best laid plans. Maybe you don’t but I’ve lost so much time already I can’t go back and research it to make sure I explain it exactly.
I logged in, checked my email and there was a confirmation on a package I had sent. Oh, good news. I went in and looked. They had only sent one of two items I ordered. Why? What happened to the holiday delivery promises and free shipping if they can put all items in as few packages as possible? I was flipping back and forth from email to order status to carrier sites. I was on the verge of dialing their number to talk to one of their representatives.
I realized it was too early in the morning to start a rant about a package. How many of those calls must they get and why would I want to start their day with that? I refrained and tried to take a breath and decided the package(s) would arrive when they arrived.
So I settled in again and started 35-40 minutes later. (Okay – I got distracted and searched for another item while I was thinking about it). I was feeling a bit rushed as I knew time was winding down and away from me. I started a line then copied it so I could paste it into the word document of the day to continue. The document for the day I went to was occupied by another draft I hadn’t finished. Drat! I closed that one and went to the document for the day before. Again! When did I write these drafts and leave them!
I keep seven word documents available named Monday thru Sunday so I can track draft posts as I am working on them. Obviously, I haven’t been tracking them as well as I should be!
Now I feel a need to take care of my administrative clean-up with my writing instead of the writing! Right…I’ll have time for that two days before Christmas.
Why didn’t they ship both items in one box?
TT
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Daily call
You know about the daily check-in phone call with the person you share a household? Of course you do. You make a short call with no real reason because it’s what you always do. It’s that call when there might be a lull in your day and you want or need to fill it in with something that might take your mind away from the mundane. I don't think this is unique to me but everyone has that, yes, I'm busy at work, but what were you thinking about for dinner tonight, kind of conversation.
The hopes would be that it might turn more interesting.
I have these conversations with Jay. There is usually some talk of food for later, sometimes I touch base with some aspect of his business, and he makes sure I haven’t completely lost my mind while his back was turned. Well – I don’t know if he is actually checking up on that last item or not, but sometimes I get the impression he is just making sure.
He is always very concise. Jay doesn’t talk much. Lately when he has gotten to the end of these conversations and wants to hang up the phone he has started to say, “That’s all I have to report, Captain.”
It seemed slightly odd but I shrugged it off the first few times. It was a creative way of getting off the phone. I wasn’t sure where the Captain part came from, so the other day when he said it I tried to keep him on the phone and throw him off. The conversation for him had wound itself down and he said,
“That’s all I have to report, Captain.”
“When did I get demoted?”
“What, from Captain?”
“Yes.”
“What rank were you before?”
“Admiral”
“Oh, you’re in the Navy?”
“Well, isn’t that Captain?”
“It could be Army – a General.”
“Well, what uniform would I look better in?”
“Cheerleader.”
Gads. Why didn’t I just let him hang up when he wanted to?
TT
The hopes would be that it might turn more interesting.
I have these conversations with Jay. There is usually some talk of food for later, sometimes I touch base with some aspect of his business, and he makes sure I haven’t completely lost my mind while his back was turned. Well – I don’t know if he is actually checking up on that last item or not, but sometimes I get the impression he is just making sure.
He is always very concise. Jay doesn’t talk much. Lately when he has gotten to the end of these conversations and wants to hang up the phone he has started to say, “That’s all I have to report, Captain.”
It seemed slightly odd but I shrugged it off the first few times. It was a creative way of getting off the phone. I wasn’t sure where the Captain part came from, so the other day when he said it I tried to keep him on the phone and throw him off. The conversation for him had wound itself down and he said,
“That’s all I have to report, Captain.”
“When did I get demoted?”
“What, from Captain?”
“Yes.”
“What rank were you before?”
“Admiral”
“Oh, you’re in the Navy?”
“Well, isn’t that Captain?”
“It could be Army – a General.”
“Well, what uniform would I look better in?”
“Cheerleader.”
Gads. Why didn’t I just let him hang up when he wanted to?
TT
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday's a wrap
Well, after the weather turned itself around yesterday, I was able to get maybe a few things done. It really did turn into a beautiful day when all the sunshine that was agreed upon delivered.
I do need to scoot myself off to work this morning and every other day this week. I had hopes for getting a few more things done but I cannot complain or just plain won't.
I was able to get the majority of shopping and wrapping done. That major hurdle has been accomplished but I know there will be those few, last minute items that always crop up. But that's tradition isn't it? It is not exactly unexpected and why grudge the season? I can enjoy it about as much as I can make it a problem of it, if I want to.
I was able to get the majority of shopping and wrapping done. That major hurdle has been accomplished but I know there will be those few, last minute items that always crop up. But that's tradition isn't it? It is not exactly unexpected and why grudge the season? I can enjoy it about as much as I can make it a problem of it, if I want to.
So here you go...a glimpse of yesterdays undertakings.
Not too bad a showing if I am allowed to say so myself. I am not altogether sure you would even notice there isn't a tree...so that is still working.
I do have some other work ahead. I can pull out all the colorful tins I own and if they are empty they are just pretty horses in a row. And these are still completely empty. The biggest problem is I am not sure when they will begin to fill...
My Sunday's need to be longer!
TT
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Bright promise
It was very cold this morning. I stayed in bed an extra amount of time. I wasn’t sleeping but I didn’t want to crawl out of the warmth of the bed until I thought I might have some plan developed for the day. I knew there was a big promise of lots of sunshine and the temperature would be drastically warmer.
I have a lot of things I would like to get done.
It is December 20th and, no, I haven’t done any shopping. I haven’t done any baking. I haven’t figured out what the menu might be for the eve or the day. It’s going to happen in a few days and I am not taking any days off so it’s a situation that could turn very frantic and frenzied.
But I’m not frantic and frenzied. I would have been and have been before. But I don't feel that so much this time. I am honestly not worried about the meals. Whatever comes up and is decided will be something I enjoy so much it doesn’t frazzle me.
The shopping will be a push into crowds but since I know that, it has changed how I am approaching it. I know it will be crowded but I will be the one smiling at all the groaning hordes making them wonder what’s wrong with me or make them give a second thought to why they are there in the first place.
Baking will happen when I start and hopefully the shipped packages will be appreciated as much after the actual dates as they would be on or before. Who doesn’t like getting something after they have a chance to catch their breath with all the frantic and frenzy they have put themselves through? I’m hoping, anyway.
How’s that for golden positivity? No, I’m not being sarcastic this time. I just finally can’t shake the healthy feeling of not really having anything to worry about.
It’s a cold morning with promise of sunshine. I have some things to do today and my thoughts are way ahead of that promise.
TT
I have a lot of things I would like to get done.
It is December 20th and, no, I haven’t done any shopping. I haven’t done any baking. I haven’t figured out what the menu might be for the eve or the day. It’s going to happen in a few days and I am not taking any days off so it’s a situation that could turn very frantic and frenzied.
But I’m not frantic and frenzied. I would have been and have been before. But I don't feel that so much this time. I am honestly not worried about the meals. Whatever comes up and is decided will be something I enjoy so much it doesn’t frazzle me.
The shopping will be a push into crowds but since I know that, it has changed how I am approaching it. I know it will be crowded but I will be the one smiling at all the groaning hordes making them wonder what’s wrong with me or make them give a second thought to why they are there in the first place.
Baking will happen when I start and hopefully the shipped packages will be appreciated as much after the actual dates as they would be on or before. Who doesn’t like getting something after they have a chance to catch their breath with all the frantic and frenzy they have put themselves through? I’m hoping, anyway.
How’s that for golden positivity? No, I’m not being sarcastic this time. I just finally can’t shake the healthy feeling of not really having anything to worry about.
It’s a cold morning with promise of sunshine. I have some things to do today and my thoughts are way ahead of that promise.
TT
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Wish
It all starts with a wish.
I will find my mind wandering on an especially busy day. You know the kind of day I am referring to. The day where there are too many things going on at once, deadlines, and you’ve managed to have worked through a majority of it. You are sitting still at your desk and jolt yourself back to the present like you’ve just awaken from some dream. I don’t always jolt but slowly come back from the quiet place I had gone off to.
It sounds crazier than it is but I know it doesn’t just happen to me.
If I stop and give that instance the attention it deserves, it sometimes is just as important as all the work surrounding me. That fleeting thought that calmed me in the middle of chaos might be something more if I don’t wave it away to forget about it until later, then forgotten completely.
What was it that could still me? I think it might be a wish.
It might be a thought of something that holds more interest or seems better than the immediate task at hand. More often than not I will tuck these thoughts away since they aren’t always achievable right away. But the importance gives me a gateway into future possibilities.
But wishes are only a beginning.
When I do think about them again they become more. That unachievable fleeting thought of something different becomes an extremely slight possibility. It is surprising how many times it can get pushed down only to spring back to mind again. When that happens, and I start to realize it might be something I want to do, even taking the tiniest of steps…I realize it isn’t a wish anymore. Only then can I decide if I am going to take it any further.
But it all starts with a wish.
TT
I will find my mind wandering on an especially busy day. You know the kind of day I am referring to. The day where there are too many things going on at once, deadlines, and you’ve managed to have worked through a majority of it. You are sitting still at your desk and jolt yourself back to the present like you’ve just awaken from some dream. I don’t always jolt but slowly come back from the quiet place I had gone off to.
It sounds crazier than it is but I know it doesn’t just happen to me.
If I stop and give that instance the attention it deserves, it sometimes is just as important as all the work surrounding me. That fleeting thought that calmed me in the middle of chaos might be something more if I don’t wave it away to forget about it until later, then forgotten completely.
What was it that could still me? I think it might be a wish.
It might be a thought of something that holds more interest or seems better than the immediate task at hand. More often than not I will tuck these thoughts away since they aren’t always achievable right away. But the importance gives me a gateway into future possibilities.
But wishes are only a beginning.
When I do think about them again they become more. That unachievable fleeting thought of something different becomes an extremely slight possibility. It is surprising how many times it can get pushed down only to spring back to mind again. When that happens, and I start to realize it might be something I want to do, even taking the tiniest of steps…I realize it isn’t a wish anymore. Only then can I decide if I am going to take it any further.
But it all starts with a wish.
TT
Friday, December 18, 2009
Get a grip
I was almost about to set myself up for disaster. I was scrolling through some other blogs and came across one where the woman mentioned not blogging lately but with good reason. She went on to say it was because she was taking an intense master class in fiction writing.
I amaze myself sometimes on how well I can turn my amped up confidence into mush. I am not sure exactly why the fact that she was taking a fiction writing class (a master class no less) would undermine anything I am currently doing but I felt the wave of uncertainty come over me. It was that familiar, I am not worthy so I should give it up feeling. I don’t know why I was in immediate competition with her but I knew instantly that she was not just winning but lengths ahead of me. What other choice did I have but to hang it up, I’ll never catch up! Why did I feel I had to be at the same point as this person I knew nothing about?
Luckily, I didn’t dwell in the land of pity me for too long. No, maybe I am not at the point where I could even consider a master class but then what does or doesn’t that mean? More importantly, what does it mean to me?
I think it means I still have a very strong desire to learn more and do better with my writing. I think it means I need to keep working at it. I think it means too much to me to stop now where I might have in the past.
Confidence is a slippery thing I am getting a better grip on.
More importantly, so is writing.
TT
I amaze myself sometimes on how well I can turn my amped up confidence into mush. I am not sure exactly why the fact that she was taking a fiction writing class (a master class no less) would undermine anything I am currently doing but I felt the wave of uncertainty come over me. It was that familiar, I am not worthy so I should give it up feeling. I don’t know why I was in immediate competition with her but I knew instantly that she was not just winning but lengths ahead of me. What other choice did I have but to hang it up, I’ll never catch up! Why did I feel I had to be at the same point as this person I knew nothing about?
Luckily, I didn’t dwell in the land of pity me for too long. No, maybe I am not at the point where I could even consider a master class but then what does or doesn’t that mean? More importantly, what does it mean to me?
I think it means I still have a very strong desire to learn more and do better with my writing. I think it means I need to keep working at it. I think it means too much to me to stop now where I might have in the past.
Confidence is a slippery thing I am getting a better grip on.
More importantly, so is writing.
TT
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Try
A thought went through my head that I wanted to write about trying. I am always trying to come up with topics or I try to think about something that will be interesting to try to write about. I keep trying. I try so hard sometimes it can be trying. Do you know what I mean?
It isn’t always that way. There are times when I don’t even have to try. Those times are great. Who doesn’t want to accomplish something without trying? Unfortunately, that doesn’t usually happen as easily or as often as it sounds. There are usually a lot of tries before something comes without trying. It can take a lot of practice tries.
Sometimes I don’t realize how hard I am really trying before it gets trying. So at that point I have to try harder. I sometimes have to start over and try again.
It isn’t very good when I don’t try at all. I don't care for the feeling I get when I know I should try but don’t. I try to convince myself that it will be okay to try. I won’t ever know unless I try. Try and try again. Did you notice this is getting a little trying…
Yes. I agree. That’s enough.
I willtry attempt to stop. I know when I’ve tried strived too hard. Can you really blame me for trying giving it a go? I had to try take a crack at it. I guess there are just some things I shouldn’t try undertake.
I didn't mean totry put a strain on your patience.
A thought went through my head that I wanted to write about trying.
I can be sometimes, can't I? I'lltry aim to do better next time.
But who can blame me? You never know until you try.
TT
It isn’t always that way. There are times when I don’t even have to try. Those times are great. Who doesn’t want to accomplish something without trying? Unfortunately, that doesn’t usually happen as easily or as often as it sounds. There are usually a lot of tries before something comes without trying. It can take a lot of practice tries.
Sometimes I don’t realize how hard I am really trying before it gets trying. So at that point I have to try harder. I sometimes have to start over and try again.
It isn’t very good when I don’t try at all. I don't care for the feeling I get when I know I should try but don’t. I try to convince myself that it will be okay to try. I won’t ever know unless I try. Try and try again. Did you notice this is getting a little trying…
Yes. I agree. That’s enough.
I will
I didn't mean to
A thought went through my head that I wanted to write about trying.
I can be sometimes, can't I? I'll
But who can blame me? You never know until you try.
TT
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Taking risks
I have been reading a bit again lately. I have made time to get back to this thing that I so enjoy doing. My choices for books are always fiction and usually some homicide detective or private investigator story with a mystery attached. I am big on characters and they have to be real and with lots of interest and movement. But they don’t always need to be murder mysteries and I am pretty open to all kinds of suggestions made by other reader friends of mine.
I have read some books that I never would have thought to pick up much less read if it hadn’t been for some of the suggestions from friends. I am glad they give me authors and titles, sometimes leaving books on my desk or shipping them to me. Isn’t that great? I couldn’t ask for more.
I am currently reading my way through another series of books but I snuck a different one in between that a friend at work thought I might find interesting. It isn’t fiction but more of an informative type of book. It is called Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell, an author, speaker and leadership expert. It is about turning mistakes into stepping stones for success, as the front of the book says. The book goes through 15 different things you need to understand in order to change your attitude about failure and getting past it.
It was an interesting book explaining how you have to take action with the things you want to do. Some things I already knew but as always the reassurance from an expert is always good to hear.
I came across a line three quarters into the book that made me stop and smile. It was in a section called, Traps that make people back away from risk, #6 – The Inspiration Trap.
It said, “Many people want to wait for inspiration before they are willing to step out and take a risk…But as playwright Oscar Wilde said, when he was asked the difference between a professional writer and an amateur; the difference is that an amateur writes when he feels like it; a professional writes regardless.”
It made me smile. Don’t think for a moment that I think I am anywhere near being a professional writer, but I have been consistently writing regardless. I don’t always feel like it, I am not always inspired, but I do it everyday even if it’s a minimal amount of words. I could point out thoroughly uninspired pieces by the dozens that I have written that are loaded with mistakes. This piece here isn’t particularly inspired, but only my written thought, that I went ahead and spent free time on, not thinking of the outcome, yet staying true to my own form of discipline. I have learned more from making my mistakes everyday than I ever could if I wrote only when I felt like it.
It’s kind of nice to know I didn’t fall into that trap. I guess that is what made me smile.
TT
I have read some books that I never would have thought to pick up much less read if it hadn’t been for some of the suggestions from friends. I am glad they give me authors and titles, sometimes leaving books on my desk or shipping them to me. Isn’t that great? I couldn’t ask for more.
I am currently reading my way through another series of books but I snuck a different one in between that a friend at work thought I might find interesting. It isn’t fiction but more of an informative type of book. It is called Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell, an author, speaker and leadership expert. It is about turning mistakes into stepping stones for success, as the front of the book says. The book goes through 15 different things you need to understand in order to change your attitude about failure and getting past it.
It was an interesting book explaining how you have to take action with the things you want to do. Some things I already knew but as always the reassurance from an expert is always good to hear.
I came across a line three quarters into the book that made me stop and smile. It was in a section called, Traps that make people back away from risk, #6 – The Inspiration Trap.
It said, “Many people want to wait for inspiration before they are willing to step out and take a risk…But as playwright Oscar Wilde said, when he was asked the difference between a professional writer and an amateur; the difference is that an amateur writes when he feels like it; a professional writes regardless.”
It made me smile. Don’t think for a moment that I think I am anywhere near being a professional writer, but I have been consistently writing regardless. I don’t always feel like it, I am not always inspired, but I do it everyday even if it’s a minimal amount of words. I could point out thoroughly uninspired pieces by the dozens that I have written that are loaded with mistakes. This piece here isn’t particularly inspired, but only my written thought, that I went ahead and spent free time on, not thinking of the outcome, yet staying true to my own form of discipline. I have learned more from making my mistakes everyday than I ever could if I wrote only when I felt like it.
It’s kind of nice to know I didn’t fall into that trap. I guess that is what made me smile.
TT
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tired Tuesday
I am feeling a little rushed and tired this morning. It’s only Tuesday and I have an entire week to go. I am not sure the reason but work for me has been - well, it's been more than hectic. This time of year usually slows down and meetings are cancelled but this year nothing is being cancelled and more are being asked to be set up and the calendars are so packed...and yes, I could go on about it. The simple fact is that work lately has been unkind.
But that aside, everything else has been good if I can keep my head above water for a while longer.
Yesterday was Sonny's birthday - 28 years old. How does that happen? I mean all those years.
They all came over for dinner last night and it was so nice to get together again. It certainly seems the holidays are in full swing with activities and all. I was really tired and thankful that Jay had decided, since he was off, he would take care of all of it and he did. All of it - shopping, cooking, getting it all set up. It was really great, the food and the laughing.
Sonny let me know that I needed to bake another batch of chocolate chip cookies and biscotti for him. He had asked me to bake them for his housewarming party on Saturday. He sternly told me I had to make another couple of batches because they were all eaten and he only got one of each. He wanted more and wanted to know when I could deliver.
Ah, hmm…I’m not sure. There is so much going on.
I am certainly too tired to tackle it this morning.
TT
But that aside, everything else has been good if I can keep my head above water for a while longer.
Yesterday was Sonny's birthday - 28 years old. How does that happen? I mean all those years.
They all came over for dinner last night and it was so nice to get together again. It certainly seems the holidays are in full swing with activities and all. I was really tired and thankful that Jay had decided, since he was off, he would take care of all of it and he did. All of it - shopping, cooking, getting it all set up. It was really great, the food and the laughing.
Sonny let me know that I needed to bake another batch of chocolate chip cookies and biscotti for him. He had asked me to bake them for his housewarming party on Saturday. He sternly told me I had to make another couple of batches because they were all eaten and he only got one of each. He wanted more and wanted to know when I could deliver.
Ah, hmm…I’m not sure. There is so much going on.
I am certainly too tired to tackle it this morning.
TT
Monday, December 14, 2009
No tree
We decided we didn't have to put up a tree this year. I had a niggling feeling I needed to acknowledge all the changes that have blown through my life in the past number of years.
Let me think but somehow there seems to have been a few major changes. The kids are not kids anymore but responsible, independent adults, parents are no longer living, family is miles away. I can’t begin to talk about friends because…
So there have been major changes and I have been progressively going through items that I no longer need or keep. I am not afraid to let go of items that have been handed down or given years ago that aren’t necessary or that me or Jay never really liked or doesn't like now.
We both agreed the tree wasn’t necessary. We thought we wanted to do it in another more simple way. So this is what we did.
In the same front corner of the living room where the tree would have gone we placed the poinsettias that we have every year. On the shelves I put the dated ornaments I have collected. If you could see the upper left hand corner of the picture closely the ornament would be dated 1978 and each year after side by side reading the same way you would these sentences until you got to the very bottom ornament on the lower right hand corner which is 2009. That’s a lot of ornaments, or more accurately, one for each year between those dates.
The white lights added the festive feel and I am not missing the tree. It seems to say the holidays without all the extra fuss and work.
And I thought the end result looked pretty good.
TT
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Random bits
I didn't get to baking yesterday. I didn't get around to putting any Christmas stuff up. I tried to make myself feel bad about it but it turned out I didn't do that either.
I did go out and run. I can only say it totaled two miles. I got a phone call from Sonny just as I was hitting my one mile mark. I had to walk while I answered the phone so I probably walked a half mile and ran one and a half. Still.
I turned on the TV at the end of a design competition show. It is one where people already established in other careers are paired with a clothes designer to work on a clothing line. An architect was given advice to, stop being an architect and be a designer. He felt like they were telling him to stop being a short guy and be a tall guy. I thought it was pretty good advice either way. I thought if I wanted to be a designer I would need to think like a designer but draw on my experiences. Besides, everyone knows I'm a short guy that acts tall all the time. The architect was eliminated.
Oh, Hershey gave me a look.
I found a site to help with writing. It wanted me to register right away. It had strong wording how it was better to do that right up front. I took my time and read through as much information as they had available without signing up. It turns out they had a section that pretty much described my concept of "shorts". It described the idea of coming up with a topic, keeping it 400-600 words, and adding a picture. I thought, wow, I did that on my own. I didn't register.
Well, glad I got all that out.
TT
I did go out and run. I can only say it totaled two miles. I got a phone call from Sonny just as I was hitting my one mile mark. I had to walk while I answered the phone so I probably walked a half mile and ran one and a half. Still.
I turned on the TV at the end of a design competition show. It is one where people already established in other careers are paired with a clothes designer to work on a clothing line. An architect was given advice to, stop being an architect and be a designer. He felt like they were telling him to stop being a short guy and be a tall guy. I thought it was pretty good advice either way. I thought if I wanted to be a designer I would need to think like a designer but draw on my experiences. Besides, everyone knows I'm a short guy that acts tall all the time. The architect was eliminated.
I found a site to help with writing. It wanted me to register right away. It had strong wording how it was better to do that right up front. I took my time and read through as much information as they had available without signing up. It turns out they had a section that pretty much described my concept of "shorts". It described the idea of coming up with a topic, keeping it 400-600 words, and adding a picture. I thought, wow, I did that on my own. I didn't register.
Well, glad I got all that out.
TT
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Inexplicable handicaps
I found myself looking over headlines this afternoon. I had scanned through several when I came across…Tiger Woods taking an infidelity leave from Golf. It didn’t really say infidelity. It said indefinite but I had just read another headline about Tiger and infidelity and my brain processed the headline that way. I thought after I read it…”Wow, Golfers are able to take an infidelity leave of absence?” Well, I did! I don’t know much about golf but it might have been possible…I mean, these days, you could expect just about anything. I would try to make a joke about how it might affect his handicap but I don’t understand that term in the first place.
I know there are certain sports – like golf and bowling – that some people (or all? I don’t know) have handicaps. I know it doesn’t have anything to do with something physical. I think a handicap is some sort of point system, but for what? Does a handicap add or subtract from your score and how do you get them? Does it even affect your game score? Do you have to be really bad or really good to get a higher handicap? Or does a low handicap mean you are better? It seems awfully confusing to someone like me who puts on a pair of running shoes and goes out the door. I would bet golfers and bowlers are as confused with that as much as I am confused about trying to read their stats. I mean if you were to compare, running to golf or bowling, it would be pretty clear cut. I ran so far, so fast. Golf and bowling have handicaps, splits, and bogeys. I don’t get it. What is it about these sports that they have to have all the extras? Or is running just as confusing to a golfer? I don’t really think they think about it.
I guess the one unifying factor is that you get to wear specific shoes for each. I’m really reaching, I know, but if I get to shop for shoes it can't be all bad.
But even so, I don’t think I’ll be trading in my running shoes for another brand of sports shoe just yet. I do think that someone will need to sit me down at some point and explain handicaps in plain English to me.
But I’m out the door right now with my running shoes. I'll catch up with you later.
I'm going out to run so far, so fast.
TT
I know there are certain sports – like golf and bowling – that some people (or all? I don’t know) have handicaps. I know it doesn’t have anything to do with something physical. I think a handicap is some sort of point system, but for what? Does a handicap add or subtract from your score and how do you get them? Does it even affect your game score? Do you have to be really bad or really good to get a higher handicap? Or does a low handicap mean you are better? It seems awfully confusing to someone like me who puts on a pair of running shoes and goes out the door. I would bet golfers and bowlers are as confused with that as much as I am confused about trying to read their stats. I mean if you were to compare, running to golf or bowling, it would be pretty clear cut. I ran so far, so fast. Golf and bowling have handicaps, splits, and bogeys. I don’t get it. What is it about these sports that they have to have all the extras? Or is running just as confusing to a golfer? I don’t really think they think about it.
I guess the one unifying factor is that you get to wear specific shoes for each. I’m really reaching, I know, but if I get to shop for shoes it can't be all bad.
But even so, I don’t think I’ll be trading in my running shoes for another brand of sports shoe just yet. I do think that someone will need to sit me down at some point and explain handicaps in plain English to me.
But I’m out the door right now with my running shoes. I'll catch up with you later.
I'm going out to run so far, so fast.
TT
Friday, December 11, 2009
Time to bake
It is time to start looking at what I need to bake! It may be past time. I am making a list of ingredients as we speak - or as I speak. Okay, I have the recipes right here and I need to take a look at what I need to prepare them. I am hoping I will get to the store so I can get the necessary foodstuff to stay home and get baking (tomorrow not today-still need to go to work). I might be keeping myself busy this weekend - but distract me, please.
Sonny's birthday is December 14th and I have rule that the tree goes up whatever weekend falls before his birthday... (Me and my rules - I know). That would be this weekend. So I will be dragging out all the stuff to get that done. But I know I need to start baking since Sonny will also be having his housewarming party on Saturday. He just bought a new house and is combining his birthday with the housewarming. It will be the first time I won't be making some special dinner for him, or cake. In fact, he asked specifically if I could bake him some chocolate chip cookies and chocolate biscotti. I asked, "No cake?" "No, the cookies will be good."
So I know I need some hazelnuts for the biscotti, I am really low on basics...flour, sugar, brown sugar, vanilla. Yes, another list but I will have it completed and hit the store after work so I can start tonight/early tomorrow? You know those biscotti's have to be baked twice and it's a different temperature than the chocolate chips. Then I wanted to really start baking but now I see I don't think I have enough tins...or someone will end up with a small batch due to the sizes, and I haven't left myself enough shipping time!
I need to put this energy into the kitchen. So the laptop will go mobile and keep me company with a good Pandora station turned up high so I can hear over the kitchen aid mixmaster.
Maybe you’ll get a picture of some finished product. Maybe, I still need to get through today at work where we are having our 5th Annual Department Bake-off. Since I have done this year after year I am the one that manages most of the running of the event...which almost means all day. And I have so much to do already!
Did I say something about energy?
TT
Sonny's birthday is December 14th and I have rule that the tree goes up whatever weekend falls before his birthday... (Me and my rules - I know). That would be this weekend. So I will be dragging out all the stuff to get that done. But I know I need to start baking since Sonny will also be having his housewarming party on Saturday. He just bought a new house and is combining his birthday with the housewarming. It will be the first time I won't be making some special dinner for him, or cake. In fact, he asked specifically if I could bake him some chocolate chip cookies and chocolate biscotti. I asked, "No cake?" "No, the cookies will be good."
So I know I need some hazelnuts for the biscotti, I am really low on basics...flour, sugar, brown sugar, vanilla. Yes, another list but I will have it completed and hit the store after work so I can start tonight/early tomorrow? You know those biscotti's have to be baked twice and it's a different temperature than the chocolate chips. Then I wanted to really start baking but now I see I don't think I have enough tins...or someone will end up with a small batch due to the sizes, and I haven't left myself enough shipping time!
I need to put this energy into the kitchen. So the laptop will go mobile and keep me company with a good Pandora station turned up high so I can hear over the kitchen aid mixmaster.
Maybe you’ll get a picture of some finished product. Maybe, I still need to get through today at work where we are having our 5th Annual Department Bake-off. Since I have done this year after year I am the one that manages most of the running of the event...which almost means all day. And I have so much to do already!
Did I say something about energy?
TT
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Shake it up
I want to get back into my routines again. Don't get me wrong, I am never very far from my routines. I seem to fare better when I keep things in regular order. I do understand that things are never quite in order all the time and that is a good thing. I’ve been known to shake things up when they get to even keel and my methods aren’t always the best – for others usually – me?…I kind of enjoy it.
But I think lately I have gotten way too good at recovering. I am going to use that as my excuse. First of all, I have to explain I never knew how to recover in the first place but had to figure it out pretty quickly the past (gosh)! three weeks. I pushed a little too hard, too soon, and I believe slowed my own healing progress. It wasn’t a good notion to discover that I was holding myself back. So I slowed down. I tried to relax. I didn’t do much more than…well; I didn’t do much of anything. I was able to read again. No, READ again. Reading by my old standards, like four books in six days, then open another and keep going. And I have kept going.
I am now wanting to (and feeling good enough) to fit the other things in that I put aside. But I still only have the same amount of time and blast! It’s friggin’ cold, too now! I do not tolerate cold well at all. You can always check that out here. http://tessatoday.blogspot.com/2009/10/heating-system-required.html
I’ve sidetracked again, haven’t I? See what happens when I “recover” too long. A little bit of momentum has been lost, but I am hoping it won’t take too long to get back in the groove. I’m hoping. It will be harder to fit things in the way I like and I will need to figure that part out. Now I don’t want to stop reading to have time to write and I don’t want to stop writing to find time to run and I don’t want to have to run in the freezing friggin’ weather but I don’t want to miss too many workouts. So I’ll need to figure it out.
Things don’t just happen and maybe my methods aren’t always the best but I think it’s time for me to shake things up again.
TT
But I think lately I have gotten way too good at recovering. I am going to use that as my excuse. First of all, I have to explain I never knew how to recover in the first place but had to figure it out pretty quickly the past (gosh)! three weeks. I pushed a little too hard, too soon, and I believe slowed my own healing progress. It wasn’t a good notion to discover that I was holding myself back. So I slowed down. I tried to relax. I didn’t do much more than…well; I didn’t do much of anything. I was able to read again. No, READ again. Reading by my old standards, like four books in six days, then open another and keep going. And I have kept going.
I am now wanting to (and feeling good enough) to fit the other things in that I put aside. But I still only have the same amount of time and blast! It’s friggin’ cold, too now! I do not tolerate cold well at all. You can always check that out here. http://tessatoday.blogspot.com/2009/10/heating-system-required.html
I’ve sidetracked again, haven’t I? See what happens when I “recover” too long. A little bit of momentum has been lost, but I am hoping it won’t take too long to get back in the groove. I’m hoping. It will be harder to fit things in the way I like and I will need to figure that part out. Now I don’t want to stop reading to have time to write and I don’t want to stop writing to find time to run and I don’t want to have to run in the freezing friggin’ weather but I don’t want to miss too many workouts. So I’ll need to figure it out.
Things don’t just happen and maybe my methods aren’t always the best but I think it’s time for me to shake things up again.
TT
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Forwarded link
Jay sent one of my posts to Hershey. I came home yesterday and I had an email from him saying that he had forwarded my post Sweets to Hershey. I had sent him the link to that particular post because we had been talking about desserts or something. I don't even really remember what we were talking about except that the timing for me to get him to read a post seemed perfect. I sent it and he actually read it. He mentioned it later that same night and thought it sounded like a commercial for the candy. He asked me to re-send him the link for that specific post. I sent it to him but that was days ago. He had also said the same kind of thing about my post Room for cream which was about coffee. He thought I should send it to Starbucks. I guess he thinks I might have another career in marketing. I could write commercials or something.
I don't think that is so bad. I don't think I would mind doing something like that but then I have to think. I am thinking he likes these posts because he thinks I might be able to make some money from it. I don't think so. I mean I don't think that’s going to happen. I can be realistic and I cannot imagine me making any money from these posts.
I can't imagine what the person at Hershey will think (if they even bother to go as far as opening the email)!
So I wrote an email back to Jay that said...You've got to be kidding me. I hope you spelled Hershey's right because you didn't in your note to me!
But hey…maybe I should just take the compliment? It was a compliment, right? I guess he liked what I wrote enough to send it off, right? It's kind of nice that he would bother to send it anywhere, right? Maybe he wants to represent me or something? Okay, I am a little embarrassed about the whole thing.
I don’t know. Geez.
TT
I don't think that is so bad. I don't think I would mind doing something like that but then I have to think. I am thinking he likes these posts because he thinks I might be able to make some money from it. I don't think so. I mean I don't think that’s going to happen. I can be realistic and I cannot imagine me making any money from these posts.
I can't imagine what the person at Hershey will think (if they even bother to go as far as opening the email)!
So I wrote an email back to Jay that said...You've got to be kidding me. I hope you spelled Hershey's right because you didn't in your note to me!
But hey…maybe I should just take the compliment? It was a compliment, right? I guess he liked what I wrote enough to send it off, right? It's kind of nice that he would bother to send it anywhere, right? Maybe he wants to represent me or something? Okay, I am a little embarrassed about the whole thing.
I don’t know. Geez.
TT
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Shorts done
Yesterday I completed posting the "shorts" I originally wrote. They are the one word titled posts appearing the first seven days of this month. You can also read them by going to the label under Posts From This Blog area to the right.
In any case, it was a brainstorming idea of mine that didn't really go over very well when I tried to explain them verbally to a few people. The blank stare should have stopped me and I have to admit it made me waver but I had already started taking some of the pictures. I thought I would go ahead and put them together and see what I thought afterward. I didn’t expect some of the things that came out of them but...well...hopefully you enjoyed a couple. It turned into a fun assignment for me. I don’t know where I come up with these ideas for assignments or why I think I need to assign myself something, but working with the photos made me think of something different I may not have come up with.
I wasn’t able to accomplish what I had intended as far as freeing time to write on my other project. I have to admit I took the time as a short sabbatical. I didn’t mean to and didn’t know I would. I still arrived at my laptop in the early morning hours but diddled time away re-reading, net surfing, checking email and just not getting any forward motion on blog or book. I have another idea for an assignment for myself but 400 words into it, I know I have to focus a bit more and last week I just wasn’t…but told myself that was okay.
If you liked the shorts…send me topic ideas – one word topic ideas. I would enjoy trying to come up with a slant on something, anything. I mean, really…laundry? But if not, I am sure I will come up with some other crazy idea soon enough or later.
But for now…later.
TT
In any case, it was a brainstorming idea of mine that didn't really go over very well when I tried to explain them verbally to a few people. The blank stare should have stopped me and I have to admit it made me waver but I had already started taking some of the pictures. I thought I would go ahead and put them together and see what I thought afterward. I didn’t expect some of the things that came out of them but...well...hopefully you enjoyed a couple. It turned into a fun assignment for me. I don’t know where I come up with these ideas for assignments or why I think I need to assign myself something, but working with the photos made me think of something different I may not have come up with.
I wasn’t able to accomplish what I had intended as far as freeing time to write on my other project. I have to admit I took the time as a short sabbatical. I didn’t mean to and didn’t know I would. I still arrived at my laptop in the early morning hours but diddled time away re-reading, net surfing, checking email and just not getting any forward motion on blog or book. I have another idea for an assignment for myself but 400 words into it, I know I have to focus a bit more and last week I just wasn’t…but told myself that was okay.
If you liked the shorts…send me topic ideas – one word topic ideas. I would enjoy trying to come up with a slant on something, anything. I mean, really…laundry? But if not, I am sure I will come up with some other crazy idea soon enough or later.
But for now…later.
TT
Monday, December 7, 2009
Music
I was the one that had to be told to stop singing at the table...or in the car. I drive alone now so no one tells me anymore. I wish I could play some songs for you that I find amusing. I can't...so I thought...what if I scribble down some lyrics I like? So I did...
The sky looks pissed. The wind talks back….Ingrid Michaelson
Answer my prayer and answer the phone….Melissa Etheridge
And every shadow filled up with doubt….Jace Everett
I don’t even like the same music you do. I just want to have my wicked way with you….Benjamin Taylor
I know it’s like I’m bitter, I don’t give a sh*! I hope you’re really happy and you choke on it….Tantric
Yesterday I woke up sucking on lemon….Radiohead
Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken….Evanescence
Now I’m not a saint and I’m not a sinner, but everthings cool as long as I’m getting thinner….Lily Allen
Oh, let’s get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France….Ingrid Michaelson
I used to worry about rich and skinny ‘till I wound up poor and fat….Delbert McClinton
I was trying far too hard to be what I felt I should be….KT Tunstall
I’ve seen too much, I know too much, I hurt too much, I feel too much, I drank too much, I dream too much, I’m caught up with the ghost of my machine….Annie Lennox
I am a lady from Mars and I can unscrew stars. I can be anything that I see….Ingrid Michaelson
How on earth could I be any more obvious? ….Lily Allen
‘Cause I’ve been wishing so hard. Tell me that you relate….Tantric
Birds fly over the rainbow, why then oh why can’t I?....Judy Garland
It's just a sampling of what ended up on the page after I scribbled random lines down then re-arranged them. It's what I hear when I listen to my music, your music, their music.
I want to hear it all.
TT
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Laundry
It is one of those things that you need to do. It isn't exciting or entertaining or fun. It's a chore. It is one of those things you are resigned to getting done but not especially something anyone wants to do. Later, do it later until there isn't any choice but to do it.
I don't know when I broke through the chore mode on laundry. Did I stop fighting the unbeatable? Where and when did I cross the line from dreaded chore, to regular routine, to no big deal, to a way to unwind?
I can't answer that question. I don't know when it happened. No one else would even think of it but me. Maybe it was a way of doing something without doing anything. I mean, really, what am I doing when the machines are going through their cycles? Not much really. I could be doing anything to nothing.
"Hello?"
"What are you up to?"
Nervously, I mute the TV so they don't hear the ridiculous show I'm watching. I should be doing something productive instead of lazing around.
"Laundry, I'm doing laundry."
or
"What did you do today."
"I did three loads of laundry." (and sat around thinking how I should have cleaned the refrigerator while the machines did the work).
But that's just me.
Then late Sunday afternoon rolls around and I pull out the ironing board. I set it up in front of the TV in the bedroom and am mindlessly able to relax with a mindless activity and still feel like I've accomplished something without any real work.
Laundry.
It is one of those things that you need to do.
I don't know when I broke through the chore mode on laundry. Did I stop fighting the unbeatable? Where and when did I cross the line from dreaded chore, to regular routine, to no big deal, to a way to unwind?
I can't answer that question. I don't know when it happened. No one else would even think of it but me. Maybe it was a way of doing something without doing anything. I mean, really, what am I doing when the machines are going through their cycles? Not much really. I could be doing anything to nothing.
"Hello?"
"What are you up to?"
Nervously, I mute the TV so they don't hear the ridiculous show I'm watching. I should be doing something productive instead of lazing around.
"Laundry, I'm doing laundry."
or
"What did you do today."
"I did three loads of laundry." (and sat around thinking how I should have cleaned the refrigerator while the machines did the work).
But that's just me.
Then late Sunday afternoon rolls around and I pull out the ironing board. I set it up in front of the TV in the bedroom and am mindlessly able to relax with a mindless activity and still feel like I've accomplished something without any real work.
Laundry.
It is one of those things that you need to do.
That is just the way I do it.
TT
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Exercise
I grew up in a time where gyms and exercise were not anywhere near the top of anyone's priority list if they appeared on the list at all. Exercise was something that happened when you did everyday things not something you set aside time for.
But eleven or so years ago, I found a gym and exercise became part of what I wanted and needed to do. It started slow and I learned as I went. I became work-out buddy to a girlfriend of mine and we started walking. We walked at the gym on treadmills. We signed up for all kinds of charity walks and started improving our "race" times. We burned up roads for a couple of years walking.
After we had done that for a while we went to a lunch-time brown bag talk about proper footwear. It turned out most of the talk was about running shoes. My friend decided that both of us needed to start running. Running? I can't run! She insisted that was the way we needed to go. I went along with her.
Luckily, we had a really good trainer at the gym at work. She was patient and took us through the beginning paces we needed to get us going. I remember gasping as I ran one minute, walked one minute, not ever believing I could run a full minute.
My girlfriend started running the charity races we used to walk. It took me longer and she went on to join a running group. I opted out at that point.
Things had changed for me at home. My mom was ill and moved in. She was of the old thinking that exercise wasn't something you set time aside for. I couldn't in good conscience break away to the gym while she was there and admittedly felt a lot of guilt about doing it after she passed. It took me a while to get back, but I did get back to it.
I run quite a bit these days. I run and it relives stress. I run and I get wonderful writing ideas. I run and I think of people I miss. I run and others are proud.
My first work-out buddy went off and has run a marathon. I felt great when I was able to complete a 10K this year.
Exercise is now just one of the things that I want and need to do. I set time aside to get it done.
TT
But eleven or so years ago, I found a gym and exercise became part of what I wanted and needed to do. It started slow and I learned as I went. I became work-out buddy to a girlfriend of mine and we started walking. We walked at the gym on treadmills. We signed up for all kinds of charity walks and started improving our "race" times. We burned up roads for a couple of years walking.
After we had done that for a while we went to a lunch-time brown bag talk about proper footwear. It turned out most of the talk was about running shoes. My friend decided that both of us needed to start running. Running? I can't run! She insisted that was the way we needed to go. I went along with her.
Luckily, we had a really good trainer at the gym at work. She was patient and took us through the beginning paces we needed to get us going. I remember gasping as I ran one minute, walked one minute, not ever believing I could run a full minute.
My girlfriend started running the charity races we used to walk. It took me longer and she went on to join a running group. I opted out at that point.
Things had changed for me at home. My mom was ill and moved in. She was of the old thinking that exercise wasn't something you set time aside for. I couldn't in good conscience break away to the gym while she was there and admittedly felt a lot of guilt about doing it after she passed. It took me a while to get back, but I did get back to it.
I run quite a bit these days. I run and it relives stress. I run and I get wonderful writing ideas. I run and I think of people I miss. I run and others are proud.
My first work-out buddy went off and has run a marathon. I felt great when I was able to complete a 10K this year.
Exercise is now just one of the things that I want and need to do. I set time aside to get it done.
TT
Friday, December 4, 2009
Sweets
This candy bar contains some type of mystical element. This candy bar must have been conjured by gods and contains ingredients that cannot be resisted by mere mortals. This candy bar must hold some type of hypnotic pull that only the lofty ones are able to defy. I know I can’t.
For some reason I have lost more battles of will with a Heath bar than any sweet known to man. I have forbearance of steel against consuming any sugary concoction except this simple milk chocolate covered English toffee bar. Don’t ask me why this makes me so weak. I can only guess.
I guess it’s the rich buttery flavor of a crisp caramel-like toffee. I guess it’s the velvety smoothness of the thin layer of chocolate. I guess the combination of rich velvet and buttery crispness works a seduction on me like no other. No, I don’t guess that…I know it does. Do you know what it took for me to snap a picture of these delectable’s and leave them be? I didn’t of course. I can’t! There is no accounting for my lack of self-control when it comes to these simple bars of delight.
I am sooo weak.
TT
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Books
How do I start taking about something I just cannot live without. I am lucky there is never a possiblity that I will have to do that. I will never be without a book. I am always with a book. I always have a book with me wherever I am. I read as much as I can because I enjoy it that much. If there is any time I need to wait I pull out my book. In the line at the bank, pull out my book. Sitting at lunch, pull out my book. Any free moment I have to spare, pull out my book. Even books I end up not necessarily liking so much, I am still glad to have read them. Well...as much as you can be glad about reading a not-so-good book. There have been times I have wanted to throw them out the window because I wasn't enjoying them so well. But I didn't and always finished them with the thought that maybe they would redeem themselves. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes I will not be liking a book 3/4 of the way through and the last 1/4 will have something to absolutely change my mind about it. It has happened! Someone asked me how much I read? I didn't know, so for the year of 2008 I kept a list of all the books I read. I ended the year with a total of 99 books. I could have read the even 100. I had a friend that kept insisting I read one more, that I had the time. I did have the time but liked 99. It seemed a good number that year. So the top picture are shelves I could pick from. The middle are books I have recently read and I will probably relinquish. I don't keep books, but pass them on or sell them back. The last picture are books I make the exception for and will always keep.
Oh, the black binders are my words. The more filled, bottom binder is the story I started, then stopped. The one on top I am working on now.
Those stay on the keep shelf too. Maybe they will be a complete book one day.
TT
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Car
This is my sports car. I have had it over two years and the answer is yes, I still love it! There is no other way to say it. I love this car. I love the look of it, I love the styling of it, I love to drive it. How can I not be in a good mood when I am in this car? It works for me.
This car fell directly into place for me at the time. I had paid off my previous car and knew this one was coming onto the market. I have always liked small cars but was always destined to drive the mom-mobiles while my two boys were growing up. Well, the two boys had grown and gone. No one was riding in my car anymore except me.
I got arguments at first about the size of the car. "Where will you put groceries?" Yeah, food was a concern. In the passenger seat! No one else ever rides with me! "We have no garage, someone will steal, mark, mess it up." It's a car. If they want it that bad they will take it, mark it, mess it up no matter what.
I ordered it and waited.
Then I got it. And I love it.
Still.
TT
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Shoes
First thing, let's get the obvious out of the way. I love my heels. I wear them every day. They are comfortable and comforting and I wear them high. Three to four - (sometimes four and a half) inches are no problem. I wear pointed, peep-toed, ankle strapped, or gladiator.
Sure, yes. I have a problem with being short. But that doesn't take away from the fact of how a heeled shoe makes the line of my leg look. How it lengthens and elongates.
I don't have the money to spring for Manolo Bahnik or Jimmy Choo but I can shop the heck out of a shoe store. Take me there, please. I need a few pairs right now.
The pleasure of a good shoe shopping excursion might have come from the limited type of shoes I was able to purchase at a young age. I had a narrow foot and lived in a small town. Most shoe retailers at the time only had a small selection in my size and my mother refused to allow me to buy a shoe that didn't fit perfectly. That was probably a blessing to have learned that fit was all important at a young age but back then I just wanted a nice shoe. I didn't get many of those.
The standard purchase was a black lace up oxford for everyday since I wore a uniform to school. A dress-up shoe was normally another black, ivory or occasional colored flat.
Later in my teens when jeans became the uniform, I was always in a brown, wood platform sandal shoe with some height. I also remember a pair of black, knee length, lace up boots. I wore those boots to the absolute death (poor boots) because I didn't want to get rid of them. Yes, boots, when I lived in an area where 33 degrees was the coldest day of the year...day, only one day normally.
Now, my heels are my sort-of signature. People don't realize how short I am since they only see me in heels. I know this to be true when I happen to meet them (usually a weekend) wearing ballet flats. They have actually said to me, "you look so cute!" I refuse to wait for them to pat my head or squeeze my cheek. I just think how I will intimidate them when I've got my killer stilettos on the next time around.
Ahhh, shoes.
TT
Monday, November 30, 2009
Intro to shorts
In the next week I will be introducing what I originally started calling "shorts". I have used this blog as a tool to make myself responsible to write every day. It has worked for me. I feel like I have progressed. There hasn’t been a day that I have not put some amount of words to paper whether you have seen them or not.
But I wanted to find a way to organize my writing. I needed to be able to find a time balance since I can only fit in so much.
My thought was if I wrote shorter posts with a fewer word count on the blog, I could spend more time writing on a separate project. Then I got an idea to start brainstorming about possible subjects that I would plan and write in advance to free up more time. I wanted it to be simple and even include pictures that would give a feel of interest but (honestly) to give the illusion the posts hadn’t gotten shorter.
What originally started out to be a time saver, turned into a fun way of spending a lot more time! I managed to get seven “shorts” together and will start posting them December 1st . They all have one word titles that tell you the subject, which were meant to be routine things I do, have, love.
I don’t know that these have helped save me any time and I haven’t put a single word down on my separate project as of yet, but hopefully the posts starting Tuesday through next Monday will be fun to read.
Hope you enjoy.
TT
But I wanted to find a way to organize my writing. I needed to be able to find a time balance since I can only fit in so much.
My thought was if I wrote shorter posts with a fewer word count on the blog, I could spend more time writing on a separate project. Then I got an idea to start brainstorming about possible subjects that I would plan and write in advance to free up more time. I wanted it to be simple and even include pictures that would give a feel of interest but (honestly) to give the illusion the posts hadn’t gotten shorter.
What originally started out to be a time saver, turned into a fun way of spending a lot more time! I managed to get seven “shorts” together and will start posting them December 1st . They all have one word titles that tell you the subject, which were meant to be routine things I do, have, love.
I don’t know that these have helped save me any time and I haven’t put a single word down on my separate project as of yet, but hopefully the posts starting Tuesday through next Monday will be fun to read.
Hope you enjoy.
TT
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Good addictions
Time seems to have gotten away from me this morning. I was working on my seventh piece and lost track of the time. I will tell you more about the pieces...or "shorts" as I have been calling them tomorrow.
But now, today...one more day off then back to a regular work-week. I am not really looking forward to it but it's only because I would rather be spending time on other things. Who wouldn't rather be spending time on other things?
I did finish a really good book yesterday. It has been a while since I spent that much time reading again. I may have been reading the wrong books or just wasn't in the right mind frame to be reading. It came back. Whatever I had lost for a while. I can tell I've gotten my voracious appetite for books back. It just clicked right back into place. I can't even tell you what triggered it. Maybe it was a good book.
And it seems I have started a new series. Yes. I try to read authors first book through current if at all possible. I had gone to a half-priced book store to find a suggested author but they only had the second book. Hmm…it didn’t take me long to buy it and go across the street to Barnes & Noble to pick up the first. So, the race is on so to speak. New author, new characters, new story lines. I am building my stash again (as Sonny calls it). He claims I am addicted to books so much so that I keep a stash of books so I never run out, never without my fix.
Can my books be my addiction? Well, maybe. But then wait...how many other addictions do I have?
TT
But now, today...one more day off then back to a regular work-week. I am not really looking forward to it but it's only because I would rather be spending time on other things. Who wouldn't rather be spending time on other things?
I did finish a really good book yesterday. It has been a while since I spent that much time reading again. I may have been reading the wrong books or just wasn't in the right mind frame to be reading. It came back. Whatever I had lost for a while. I can tell I've gotten my voracious appetite for books back. It just clicked right back into place. I can't even tell you what triggered it. Maybe it was a good book.
And it seems I have started a new series. Yes. I try to read authors first book through current if at all possible. I had gone to a half-priced book store to find a suggested author but they only had the second book. Hmm…it didn’t take me long to buy it and go across the street to Barnes & Noble to pick up the first. So, the race is on so to speak. New author, new characters, new story lines. I am building my stash again (as Sonny calls it). He claims I am addicted to books so much so that I keep a stash of books so I never run out, never without my fix.
Can my books be my addiction? Well, maybe. But then wait...how many other addictions do I have?
TT
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Today is
It is a Saturday morning. I have to remind myself because I am having a hard time remembering what day it is. This week has been completely out of my regular routine. I took Monday and Tuesday off, I worked a short day Wednesday, I was off Thursday, and then worked Friday. No wonder I have to remind myself what day it is.
It explains why I woke up before the alarm went off. Or why it didn’t go off – because it’s not set for weekends. Maybe it doesn’t really explain the getting up early on a day off…but then I got up later than usual yesterday which was a work day! I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It is actually better this way because it’s Saturday and I don’t have to go to work.
Now what to do…
The great thing about having a whole day spread in front of me is I can choose the things I want to do. I have a book I want to finish. I have a small bit of housework. I need to check the fridge. My desk needs organizing again. Index cards are everywhere. And more…of course there is more. But this is a start.
Now what to do…
TT
It explains why I woke up before the alarm went off. Or why it didn’t go off – because it’s not set for weekends. Maybe it doesn’t really explain the getting up early on a day off…but then I got up later than usual yesterday which was a work day! I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It is actually better this way because it’s Saturday and I don’t have to go to work.
Now what to do…
The great thing about having a whole day spread in front of me is I can choose the things I want to do. I have a book I want to finish. I have a small bit of housework. I need to check the fridge. My desk needs organizing again. Index cards are everywhere. And more…of course there is more. But this is a start.
Now what to do…
TT
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)