Headlines

There doesn't seem much to report this morning. I went checking through the news and unless you think the differing colors to a particular dress is white and gold or blue and black, there wasn't much going on. It seems there was a hailstorm of opinions trending on the internet about what color this particular dress might actually be and it was important to find the scientific reasons behind why different people saw different colors. It seemed to be important because so many people saw different colors (or at least two different sets of colors). I dismissed it as only different pics of the dress but you can google it yourself to see - it's everywhere. Big deal.

The other major update was that Lupita Nyong'o's pearl Calvin Klein dress from the Oscars that had been reported stolen was recovered. An anonymous call came in and it was found under the counter of a bathroom in the same hotel she had been staying. Major news.

Maybe I pay too much attention (or not enough) to what's going on. It's too easy to dismiss all the major headlines, all throughout, all day. Maybe I just read too much fashion news.
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This

Give me a Friday afternoon, out of work, time for the weekend, any time! It's that time right now and I'm not taking it for granted. Home, good book, perfectly comfortable, and I could go on and on. If anyone (me) was waiting for this exactly perfect moment, than wait no longer because this is it!
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I get it, but enough

I am going into hibernation mode again with this awfully cold weather. It's only supposed to last these few days but it's put me into a tailspin. I wish I could become a hermit and wait out the last few times this weather can't straighten itself out but that might mean I would need to move into a cave on the top of some mountain, which could only mean I'd freeze to death anyway from the elements. I pretty much feel that way now without having to move. I'm so done with winter!
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Might wonder

There was a note on my blogger dashboard this morning that said, "On March 23rd, Blogger will no longer allow certain sexually explicit content".

I don't think it will have any effect here. I read the notice and I think I am well within the boundaries of what they may be trying to change. If not, I guess they will turn the switch to make this private. I guess if I'm switched off,  I might wonder why, but until that happens I guess I'll go along business as usual.
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It was a cold and...

The howling wind screamed and moaned all through the night. It could be heard throughout the darkened house as wisps of cold invaded the warm enclosures. It was a battle of epic proportions, fighting it's way through the courageous warmth that once had been master of the day. It left a bleak, cold, and gray morning with trails of shivers felt all along it's paths.

That really bad storm made it's way to our little area of the world last night. The temperatures today aren't suppose to rise around 40 degrees or so. It will go down again tonight and have a slightly higher temp of 45 tomorrow, depending on what weather channel you want to believe. I guess I can get through it. What other choices do I have? Dress warm and keep a good attitude. 

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Extra time

It's Sunday morning and I'm not sure how it will unfold. I'm looking forward to whatever it decides to put in my path while I still get around to the few things I want to get done. I don't think any of it will be a problem. In fact, there is always the chance whatever comes up will trump what I think I need to do. Somehow, it all gets done anyway.

A good example is our taxes. I didn't think I would rip through all the paperwork as quickly as I did. It's all completed and filed, even approved when I went on-line to check the status. It left me with a little extra time to use this weekend and now it's Sunday and I have the entire day ahead of me. What to do, what to do...
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Working without internet

It's hard to keep up with the daily routine when the city mows grass in the alley behind the house along with the cable lines. We had no idea that was the source of the problem during the two days we were without cable and internet at home. I'm not sure why they couldn't figure that out the first day I called and make us wait two, but all is fixed and things can get back to the normal we are accustomed.

Since I couldn't do my regular things on the internet, I actually read quite a bit (more) than usual. I also sat at my laptop and pulled up the draft of my novel. I don't need internet for a saved word document. For some reason, I opened chapter 15 which is the next to last chapter of the book. I didn't edit or even hardly remember it exactly, I only read it. That particular part wasn't so bad. I liked the way I had an action going on and the protagonist drifted off in thought that revealed an occurrence of the night before and then was interrupted back into the current moment. There were some rough words that needed to be smoothed out but that portion worked fairly well. I was pleasantly surprised.

I'm not crazy enough to believe the draft doesn't need major rework. It certainly does. I could make a short (and long) list of all the things it's lacking and needs but...
If I were to really work it, it has the potential of being an actual story and not just a pile of words. The keyword here is work. It isn't about how talented, or how passionate, but simple, logical, hard work. I would need to take it piece by piece leading to the next and the next, making a complete beginning, middle and end. I don't think I would have given it a second glance if it hadn't been for the internet going down at this particular time.

Maybe, the loss of a little internet was what I needed to remember I don't always need the internet.

Having a moment

You were only waiting for this moment to arrive...

I've been doing too much waiting lately. I wait to get things done when I get home. I wait until I pay off that bill or even the house. I wait until I save enough money to feel like I might be able to leave this job. Some might view those things as goals. It's that happiness carrot pulling you forward to reach it. There is a nice reward at the end of the waiting once you get there.

They are nice rewards. They do have their measure of happiness when they arrive (or you finally work your arse off for them). The problem is the tough time in the meanwhile before you get there. I can get tunnel vision when I have one of those carrots in front of me and lately, I seem to reach one of those 'goals' and then immediately feel the need to replace it with another. It's a constant, now that I have that, I need to do this, and now that I've worked for this, I need to get the other. I keep waiting and working for the moment to arrive.

The moment has arrived. I can have an entire bunch of carrots at once while still working toward a radish. If I keep my mind open, I might even gain a head of lettuce. Soon I'll have an entire salad.

Wait. Is this some subliminal message about my eating habits? I don't think that was my original thought when I heard the Beatles song this morning. It was Blackbirds (singing in the dead of night). I don't particularly want a salad right now since it's a little early, although some yogurt with Blackberries would be nice. You see, I can enjoy the moment even while I'm reaching for more.

...What was I talking about?
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For now

Let me see. It's Monday, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon, our area gets to work from home on Friday, then it's a three day weekend! It almost feels like it's going to be a short week and then a long weekend.

That's probably a good thing. I didn't nearly get all of the stuff I wanted to do around the house. I should probably step it up during the week to catch up, or I could just leave it for this long weekend. Then again, if I do it before I'll have that extra time later. I can toss that idea back and forth a few times. I can't get any of it done now so I'll put off that decision until later. For now, it's just a Monday.
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It's real to me

Of all the things to think about, my mind wandered over to the idea of validation. It's that process where others confirm your being, and authenticity. Are you real? Do others know that?

I think when I started out putting together these posts (and boy-oh, what a lot of these suckers I've accumulated) there was a certain amount of that validation I think I needed at the time. Yes. My idea was to find a discipline for writing. It was a way to get words down on a consistent basis to improve. But I won't deny the fact that there was that excitement of having someone else see it, read it, have some type of interest in it. It would 'validate' me. It would mean, I was somehow doing better work since there was someone else out there taking a view.

That was all in my head. Somewhere down the line, I realized I was plugging away whether or not I knew anyone else took a look. I put aside the idea that if more saw what I put down, it was an indication of how much better I was. Not true. I am sure there were some really good posts that were buried under a lot of other practice (or garbage-let's be truthful) and vice-versa. It doesn't take away the value of those good posts merely because no one saw them.

I mean, what was my original reason for doing it? I wasn't doing it for anyone else but me. It was my way of getting myself to do something. Putting it up for viewing was just a way to commit. I posted so I would keep going and stop editing. I've done that. It's real, it's authentic, it's validated.

I know the good posts from the bad and that's enough validation for me. If someone else wants to chime in, well, that's just gravy.
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It's been long enough

I realized this morning how much I am missing the coast. It's been a long time since I have honestly been able to say I really want to make a trip to be close to the water. I've been carrying around the fear of traveling. I've associated the bad car accident we had October 11, 2011 with those trips I used to enjoy so much because the accident happened on the way back from one of our trips. Wow. I didn't realize it was that long ago. I've been fearful of traveling that long with even traces of it on the one trip me made to the coast last year. It's been affecting me even recently to the point I didn't want to go. The one trip we made last year felt almost obligatory. It was as if I was trying to convince myself. I like to go, I always enjoy going, I need to do this. Not so much.

It wasn't memorable and probably slightly disappointing. The fear of getting there and getting back overpowered any good takeaway I should have gotten from the trip.

But, somehow, in this quasi winter/spring time we are headed into, I am feeling the real urge to get out to my personal paradise again. No. Really. I'm feeling like I want to go. No thoughts (well, maybe slightly) of getting there and back, but real desires to go because of all the positive reasons I've always had about going. It's almost time and when I can be sure of some consistent warmer temperatures, I will be taking advantage of the place that has always be my retreat, my own personal paradise. Thinking back from now to 2011, I realize what a long time that is to be foolishly fearful.
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TGIF

It's almost time to think about weekend plans. I know the idea of finishing off Jay's bookkeeping keeps popping up in my head. It's going to take some time to get all the rest of the numbers together so I can file the taxes. It's not the most exciting job to have to do but the sooner it's done the sooner it's done.

I want to go out to the bookstore. That is something I don't do as often since I download my books now. It used to be I was at the bookstore at least once a week. It was always an excursion I looked forward to doing. I'm looking forward again, but it's a matter of actually doing it. There is that book I wasn't able to download and it gives me an excellent reason to head out.

I have a few other things circling my brain on options for things to do. There certainly isn't a lack of ideas for activities. I have plenty of options to choose. We will see how it plays out. I've got all day to think about it.
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Bite me

The weather is going back and forth. I can deal with that since we have had warmer days thrown in with the cold. I will survive the sprinkling of lower temperatures if I am rewarded with the glowing sunlight that warms my thin blood.

There was the groundhog sightings the other day. I guess the original hog, Phil, decided to see his shadow and proclaim another six weeks of cold weather. I'm not taking a lot of stock in the opinions of a groundhog. Then a day or so later I saw another report, from a hog named, Jerry. When the animal was lifted to the ear of the mayor (I guess to dispense his knowledge about weather) he bit the mayor's ear. Nothing serious, kids, but the mayor flinched and had to compose himself before proclaiming that Jerry predicted an early spring. And there we have two conflicting predictions from the best authorities around, wouldn't you say?

My money is on the biting groundhog.
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Start up

A new day, a clean slate, and I have so many things to do. Where do I start? The obvious is I'm going in to work, but I got up with the determination to clean up the kitchen before I left. That's done and I have more ample time than I had yesterday when I got up late and rushed out. Not so this morning, and I know I'm going to reap the rewards. It's like they say to work out first thing in the morning because it will energize you and you will have that done for the day except I cleaned the kitchen. I can say I'm energized, or is that my coffee?

In any case, I'm off to a good start and have more in mind for this afternoon.
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Very Virtual

I went the the Barnes & Noble site today to purchase an eBook for my Nook. I've done this many, many a time for many, many a year. I purchase, I download to the device, I read. It's a great way to read a million books and not have to carry them all around or find storage space on nightstand, desks, shelves, and every corner of my house, which is where they would all be just by the sheer numbers I read. So, I bought a new eBook.

I tried to download it to my Nook. I got the error, "Format Not Supported". I never got that before. So I went to the Barnes & Noble website it sent me to, www.barnesandnoble.com/support. There was only a place that had frequently asked questions and a button to chat. There wasn't a phone number in sight. So I opened the chat, put in my order number, told them my error and a customer service agent came on line and then immediately ended the chat. She ended the chat before it started. It was like she read my comment and thought, "Oh, no...not going to talk to that customer," and clicked end. I opened another and re-entered my information. This time they actually chatted, briefly. "How would you like us to resolve this?", he asked. 

"If I can't download the eBook, refund my purchase".

"Okay. Anything else." (There was the copy and pasted information about the length of time depending on your bank to receive the refund).

"How can I tell if I'm purchasing an eBook that isn't going to download?" 

"On the right hand side of the book cover will be a question mark. If you click there it will show the devices that are compatible."

"Oh.  Good info. Thank you, that's all."

The chat abruptly ended. Bing! They were gone. Chat ended!

That was quick and felt a little rude. I went back to check on the question mark they talked about. There isn't anything like that anywhere on the book. I checked the product details. It didn't mention anything about device compatibility, only that the format was eBook. Great. 

This was never the sort of customer service I used to receive. Here was nothing that felt good about this experience at all. Isn't that important any more with customer service, or am I just so not able to deal with the entire virtual world we are living in. Why couldn't they just give me a phone number? 

Gads, I'm old. So is my Nook (1st generation). Maybe I need a new device. No. Maybe I'm just getting really old.

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Behind a lesson

I got lesson four of the creative writing online course for character development I'm supposed to be involved with this morning. I only halfheartedly looked over lesson three. I started it but never gave it another never-mind. It's still sitting on my desk at home since I actually wrote it longhand. Who writes in longhand anymore? Obviously, I do at times, although not nearly as often as I used to. I believe that is where all my constant editing bad habits came from. I'd write a bit and then must have loved and felt very accomplished by all the cross-outs, scratched out, re-written sentences that would appear on a page. It might have given me some sort of self-pride at all the work that had been done. I mean, if you looked at a page after I had written it out, and edited it with all it's sidebar comments, it might seem to have been quite the work. Not so. It was a lesson in delusion to think that was any real work at writing. It was just a mess of first draft nonsense, but you learn, right?

I need to set a little time aside for taking a look at both lessons three and four. I'm not having any crazy expectations for these lessons but they can't hurt anything. If nothing else, they serve as motivation and a source of ideas. And I might actually learn a thing or two. 

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Can't cook from a package

I've never been much of a breakfast person. I wake up and drink coffee. Lots of it. Somewhere in the middle of the morning I will taper off the hot brew and have some oatmeal or a bowl of Kashi cereal (original - not that clusters stuff). Sundays are the exception because Jay is a breakfast person but since he gets up so much later than me, we end up having breakfast about mid-morning. It's a win-win situation as far as timing.

I was frying up some bacon this past Sunday and pulled out an envelope of pancake mix. The only thing I needed to do was add water. I've used it before but the heat might have been too high and they were, well, let's just say they were darker than you might want. Another time I tried and they were a little underdone in the center. Jay likes his pancakes, usually with eggs and all the rest. He mostly eats them as a dessert after breakfast. He will finish up a bacon, eggs, hash browns plate and then have a pancake as a sweet ending to the meal. But I was failing miserably with a the simplest of pancakes.

I mixed up the batter according to the directions. Right. I added water. The batter looked really thin. I warmed the pan - not too hot. I'm apprehensive going into this, but finally poured a circle of batter into the pan. I watched. It wasn't looking like it should. It didn't rise, it was painfully thin, it was paler than pale, and I knew it wasn't right. I tried to flip it and it crushed and crumbled on the spatula in an anemic state. Uh-Oh. I tried another and I repeated the process with the same result and then made the decision to throw it all out. No pancakes today. I failed.

There might never be another pancake again, at least in this house. I can't even cook them up from a package. The simplest of simple can't be accomplished. It was a major fail. I messed up the pancakes.

I served up breakfast without a happy pancake. We did without that sweet ending to the meal. It was sort of mortifying to sit there after such a situation. I tried to  figure out how I could have messed up but finally had to reason out that at least my eggs were cooked perfectly. They weren't from a package.
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Extra few moments

All months should start on a weekend. It gives me those extra few moments before barreling into whatever needs to be taken care of next. Sometimes, I am getting up and going before I have a chance to even look up and out of the window. No time to glance out for me to see what I might do. That doesn't ever happen on weekends. I can always take those extra few moments to take a look. I can decide to start this or that or not do any of the above.

I haven't decided what I'll do today, yet. I have a few things in mind but I think I'll sit a few minutes longer and think about it. It's a weekend, and I have the time.
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