Counted down

Here it is. I've arrived at my Friday of the work week even though it's only Thursday. Splendid. I also managed to get whatever rest I needed to dispel the dragging, tiredness I was feeling. A good nights sleep and the prospect of not having to work on Friday has lifted me right up. What an easy combination.

Of course, Friday is the end of the month and Halloween. I don't have commitments until the evening when we will join Sonny, Selma, and the kids at their house to pass the holiday. Oh wait, I take that back, since I will go out early in the morning to have some blood work taken. Yearly routine stuff that I am winding down for the year, but that leaves me the whole middle chunk of the day for me. I am putting a hem into a gown for my niece. The eighth grader took first place in her regional choir solo competition. She will be going to state. I get the proud piece of making sure the dress looks good on her. I'll take that piece.

So, I guess it's time to start up my day so I can get the work done that needs to get done so I can come back and do the work that I want to do.  Sounds like a plan.
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Tired or not

Boy, oh boy.  What's today? I'm usually really good in the mornings but today I'm already dragging a bit. I know I've been busy but what's going on here? I'm going to say it's mostly in my head and the anticipation of completing the week is looming too large. It's making me feel more tired in shorter a time than is truly the case. Mind over matter and all that jazz. I'll steal the cliche.  Sure. Why not? I'm too tired to think up anything original.

Well, not that tired. And the chores that were left over from the weekend are mostly all finished. I'll have some smooth sailing in a few days. And If I check the calendar, yes, yep, Wednesday. Friday is just around the bend.  Keep truckin'.
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It's darker out

I'm counting down days this week. One-done. Three more to go then I'm off for three. If today is going to be anything like yesterday it will be history before I know it. Busy, busy and then it will be two. I was never good at math but looking forward to time off has never left me without a solution.

I can't believe how incredibly dark it is at this time in the mornings. It seems since the time change is coming up this weekend the mornings have been darker than they were two or even one month ago. This same time last month wasn't this dark. Was it? Oh well, and next week this time it will be...let me see...fall back, right?...twenty after five instead of what it is now...twenty after six. I'm confused. I'll think about that when I'm off on the weekend. I'm too much caught up in the next few days of getting everything done at work and counting down days. Still a few more to go.
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Start

That was one fast weekend. I must have blinked.

Monday morning, let's get it started. Since it doesn't feel like I had any time off the past two days, it will be nice to only have the four day work-week I planned. I decided to take Friday off and hopefully the three-day weekend coming up will more than make up for what feels like I just lost. I should probably do some of the things I didn't from this past weekend. I managed to get the kitchen cleaned up, but no laundry. I can work on that today. That's a plan. In fact, the more chores I get done during the next few days will give me back that much more time during my upcoming time off. That sounds like a better plan. Monday morning with a plan. Let's get it started.
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Fly by

Well, yesterday managed to do what I hoped it wouldn't and flew by. The good news is I already have a head start on today. All the cookies I need to fill the orders Dante received have been baked and are cooling. Packaging for these orders are ready and waiting. The kitchen is clean, fresh coffee has been made, and I can take a look at getting Sunday rolling. I'm sure it will be steam-rolling really quickly!
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Early start

I got started early this morning. Mr. L is scheduled to come by this morning and I wanted to get some paperwork out of the way and swing by the grocery store before he arrived. I've done that and now I'm waiting for his arrival while I check out cookie packaging. I'm going back and forth with boxes, tins, pails from two different sources. I won't order anything yet since I still need to make some decisions about what I want and how I want to be represented but Dante did get some orders yesterday. I will be baking again this weekend. Hopefully, it doesn't fly by too quickly!
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Good cookies

The cookie order was saved! My apology email turned the tables and the client wanted to order afterall. There seemed to be a coincidence brewing since Dante (my youngest son) was texting me yesterday after I thought I had lost the order. He was asking if I could bake some cookies he would use as samples at work to try and get a few orders. It was in the midst of our texting when I got the phone call from the missed client and she placed the order. I was able to text him and say that yes, I definitely would be baking, and, by the way, I just rung up an order. We decided it occurred due to some good vibrations.

I did my baking yesterday evening. The customer's order will be delivered this morning and Dante's samples are also ready to go. I think this really seals the deal as far with my updating. I have packaging to order, labels to update, and all those things that happen that doesn't have anything to do with baking a cookie. Even with all that, the cookies still taste really good.
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Yesterdays cookies

I missed an email yesterday for a cookie order! With all the emails I get from advertisers I have to admit I wasn't paying any attention to my phone yesterday. I quickly sent a response this morning with hopes that they will still think favorably of me (the cookies) and will come back again in the future. I'm sure she found another place to fill her order by now. I'm not expecting a response but at least I acknowledged my error and hope to keep in some good standing.

I HAVE to update that site. It's either update it or take it down for a while. The sensible answer is to update it. There isn't a constant stream of orders coming in. They are very rare and far between. The problem is, if I get an order it's a drop everything and bake, package, label, and deliver...right now! With my regular full-time job, the baking is done after work and then usually I need to take time during work to deliver or pawn it off to Jay for delivery. He has helped me in the past on deliveries. It can get a little stressful since everything gets thrown into hyperdrive speed once an order comes in. Which isn't that often yet...

It's left me pondering over this for months, while I haven't done a thing about it. Make up your mind already! Pull it down or fix it. I guess I better get to fixing.
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Pick up the pace

This is turning into a long work week. At least it seems the days are stretching out a little longer than normal. Instead of whipping through the day quickly, the time is pacing out very slowly and monotonously. Gosh, can we please pick up the pace?! Can we get to the weekend already?

The answer is no. Not yet. I'm not even half way through, so far. Why do I want to wish away all these days? And they really have been good days. The weather is right on point. A few degrees less in the afternoon and we can call afternoon runs perfection. Yeah, I admit, this transition month of changing up running from early morning to afternoon hasn't been going very well. I haven't put in the work this month and haven't well, I haven't been making any effort to make the change-over. So nothing has been happening on that front.

It will. It's just a matter of cycling through. A few days this month without isn't going to make all that much a difference in the whole scheme of it all. I just wish the day clipped along a little faster at work.
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Not blocked

I bet I can stare at a blank document longer than anyone else. I seem to be able to sit longer and longer in front of a page without putting a single word on it. Oh, don't get me wrong. It isn't that thoughts aren't having their own little parade in my head but did anyone think to organize this promenade? Why don't you write that down? Why not this? No. Don't think so. What? You're kidding. What does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?

Okay, that made me grin. The thoughts are there. It isn't as if it's all hollow within. The steady stream of marchers are making their way down main street, one after another, some with more enthusiasm than the others, but all keeping up a constant flow.

I guess there isn't really such a thing as writer's block. I don't know a time thoughts haven't stomped around in my head. It's just a matter of letting them all parade through until you can see what you have and get an idea of how to get it all organized. I think that means I need to get what I've already written a little more organized to make it a better parade.
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Feeling good

A took a run around the block yesterday morning. It wasn't long and it wasn't fast but it broke my two week hiatus. It felt really good.

This morning I put the top down on the car and that new season coolness blew over me. What an invigorating way to start the new week! There doesn't seem to be a care in the world in the midst of that clear, clean, crispness. It's hard not to be in a good mood when driving around in that car.
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Day puzzles and life carts

What an absolute privilege to be up on a Sunday morning and take some time. No rushing, no pressures, no way anything can tip the cart of life over on it's side. There are a million different things I can think of that 'should' be done at this moment, but nothing I can't do later or in just a few. This Sunday I can take everything in stride. The things that need to get done will be done, I have no doubt, and it will all fit into the puzzle of the day.

Grocery shopping, cleaning up, chores...these are the normal activities that make the day-to-day run smoothly. So that I can again have that privilege of stopping and doing the extra things, the no pressure things. And if that cart is to start to tilt and even fall, think of the laughing energy as I stoop down and sit among the split mess. Sorting through all the things I carry around, I can pick up each item, turn it over, and wonder why I carry it in the cart in the first place.
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Permission

I absolved myself from running last week. I conscientiously told myself it was okay to not get up and run those early morning pushes I've been meticulously beating down for three months. Lot's of miles in the past three months. Lots of early morning wake up calls and quick get ready for work days. That first morning last week I told myself I was okay to not run or think about it for a week. Without that acknowledged permission to myself, it would have played in my mind, back and forth, run, don't run, the entire week, which would have negated the relaxing effect I was needing.

That type of permission worked for me. Then I ended up with a cold the beginning of this week. At the very first sign I took my zicam and sure enough, it seems to have shortened the recover time. But I've gone almost another week without a run. Here's the thing. I'm not exactly beating myself up over it. I know I am registered for a race on Saturday. In the past I would have been in a feverish sweat over the fact I knew I wasn't going to start. I would be admonishing myself for missing another registered run. (There really hasn't been that many but the few stand out).

It isn't the end of it all. I'm still running (well, I will start again), and there are races around every corner of every weekend. This one on Saturday or the one after that or next month. It also seems I'm in the middle of the season change when I can move my running time from early morning to after work. The weather will be that good. The bonus is I already have the foundation of the past three awesome months of training to think about using it toward a registered race or not. It's not like I'm starting from scratch.

Things are forever changing and the idea of getting everything to a perfect place is only setting yourself up for a rude awakening when it changes.  It will change. You can work toward the things you want the best way you can, but need to be open to re-evaluate it as you go along. It can keep you in the present while still working toward the future. It's amazing when you realize that subtle changes can be made without an upheaval of everything you've done. It's amazing how far a little permission can go.
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Big, fat, check

Today is my day. It's seems to be a totally unsuspecting Wednesday. I didn't change my routine a smidgen and yet I managed to put a huge, big, fat, check-mark after something I have been wanting, trying, hoping, to be able to accomplish over the course of decades.

Yes, it was a long-haul. Yes, there were times when things got much worse before they got better. Yes, there were times when it all seemed to hold steady and didn't move downward the way it should. Yes, today it feels like a major item on a bucket list was accomplished.

My debt is zero. All those nagging credits are balanced to zero. How about not having any extraneous payments to make except utilities and such? Okay, yes, there is still one car payment but that is reasonable. It's not even two car payments.  And not even a house payment. Knowing that this would happen today, I kidded the family that I would be broke through the end of the month until I am paid again but that is simply a joke. Funny right? I know I'm smiling. It probably isn't the type of thing that would be on anyone's bucket list but I guess it's always been on mine. And today, I was all over it.  I got it done.

Today is my day.
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Poof!

I have almost reached a triumphant moment. I will have paid off all credit by this coming Wednesday (payday-the 15th). The house was paid in full last December 2013 and I have been working on getting rid of every last credit card balance on every last credit card we have used. We had a slight set back when we decided to redo the backyard deck and add the cover. It put a little more of a balance on the last card that was due to be paid. But no more...as of this coming Wednesday.

Not only will all that debt be paid, but most of the upkeep on the house is completed. The deck was redone but prior to that we had the A/C units replaced. We had the entire interior of the house repainted, popcorn ceilings scraped and replaced, all new carpeting on the staircase and bedrooms, and new tile flooring on the first floor. We got new appliances in the kitchen, a new washer (dryer hasn't given out yet), and I even paid for some wear and tear maintenance on my car such as new belts, chains, converters and flushes. Oh, so that reminds me. Even though my car is paid in full, we actually still have a note on Jay's car. But all else...poof! As of this coming Wednesday.

I wonder how long it would take for me to slam the balance on that car?
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Interim

This must be my week to clear out and clean up what I have been doing and change it. I guess I'm needing a rest from pushing so hard on my running. I have gotten up early enough (way before break of dawn type early) but didn't have the gusto to gear up and head out into the dark. This week, no runs. Wait. I don't think it had anything to do with lack of gusto. I think I am in that wait-for-it time when I know it's all going to get rearranged again. I'm getting a little tired of running out in the darkness. I'd like to see a few things when I'm out, and it only seems it's darker and darker as I head out earlier and earlier to get the miles I want to travel in before work.

The time doesn't change for another month. The weather is beginning to break down the higher temperatures for a few degrees milder. But it was still 92 degrees yesterday afternoon and that can be a bit much sometimes. So, I'm caught in an in-between this or that. I'd rather start running again after work. I might need to cut back some mileage and even head to the gym a few times in the interim. I might need to lay out a temporary new plan and even take a few days off.

It's all good. Clear out and clean up. Let the body, feet, heels and rice krispy ankles heal while I change up the routine. It's not stopping, but putting the fun back in the run.
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Average

Another weekend has gone into the history books. Not really. There wasn't anything that would be interesting enough to record. I couldn't even offer up any tasks that might be close enough to set down as anything other than 'not much, average, nothing really.' As far as weekends go, this past one was a great example of being described merely as gone. Don't get me wrong. There isn't a thing wrong with having an average weekend. I look forward to weekends that I can admit I didn't do much because it really means I got around to the average, everyday, things that get put off all week until there is time. Time I get on an average weekend to do them.

And so, here I am, Monday morning, all caught up and ready. It's time for that week-day routine and after that, since I'm all caught up, I might be able to figure out what it is I'm ready for.
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Not today

Week 2 Day 12

The 'Coach' on my phone says I'm supposed to run 4 miles today. I knew yesterday I was going to skip it. The details stated that today's run is supposed to help maintain the fitness I've built up over the past week and a half and to help loosen me up for my next long run tomorrow. I don't think so. Another four miles today after 19 in the past four with at least another 8 tomorrow (hopefully 10-12, possibly, maybe)? just isn't in my game plan. All the signs are that I need to take a day, rest, and get back at it a little more refreshed. My legs are getting stiff, calves are tight, paces are slowing down, way down, and I'm not feeling it.

So, as far as running goes, my dear electronic 'Coach', I have to say no. Sorry. I can't. I have to break this date, but it isn't as if I don't want to see you again. Tomorrow is Saturday with cooler temperatures and lower humidity and all that morning time to spend. How about that? See 'ya tomorrow.
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Thursday

It's October 2nd already but not a Friday. I got my run done early this morning and since I was only scheduled for 3 miles I am back with plenty of time to spare before going in to work. I say plenty of time and then I look at the clock and there isn't any time left.

I've gotten spoiled the past two weeks not having to go into work on Fridays. The idea of taking them off consecutively was a great idea. Unfortunately, it makes going in tomorrow such a drag. Today should be my last day of the week and I should have another three day weekend. But it doesn't work that way. Maybe I should schedule an appointment tomorrow and have a reason for not going in.

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Just today

I'm up earlier that usual but it's only by a few minutes, ten or fifteen, but at this early hour it makes a difference. I figured I had a few moments to jot down a note or two before I head out for another five miler before work. That will make 16 miles since Monday.

I switched to a 'Coach' that was free on my nikeplus app on my phone. It's the same tracker I use for my mileage since it had training for different distances I thought it couldn't hurt. It has the mileage I should do each day and I thought even if I did the first two weeks, it might help. I started it last Monday and I immediately began to think it was going to be too much, too hard. I didn't see how I was going to be able to do the run it was asking for the next day and the day after. I was freaking myself out before I even started at the very first run.

I decided to push that thinking away and only let myself think about todays run. Just today. Not yesterday and certainly not tomorrow's. I wasn't going out to run tomorrows mileage but only today's. It made it easier and I'm a week and a half into it and feeling a little better. So now I need to head out because my extra few minutes are up. It's an easy, comfortable five miles this morning. It was six yesterday and I got through that before work. But I'm not thinking about yesterday. I have a run right now I need to think about.
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