I am taking another day off. It was part of the plan. I've been giving myself these long weekends by taking a Friday and Monday off. It didn't hurt that the holiday was in there too and it made it extra-long. I'm glad I did it this time.
The only thing I need to do today is see the eye doctor. It's an annual checkup and I figured I'd better go and get more items for me to be able to see. I haven't decided whether or not I want to pay the extra for new eyeglass frames or just use the old ones. I wear contacts at work and glasses at home. I don't know. I guess I'll see how I feel once I get to the eye doctors office. I think it's just a bit of me being stingy about spending the money.
I think I might stop at the bookstore after my appointment. I'll be right there in the same complex. I always have such good thoughts and memories of browsing in a bookstore. It was such the routine in my past and I haven't lost that feeling. There is something about all those books with my eyes scanning the titles in this section and then that section. Something will trigger an idea and I will walk over to another section and take a look. Pull this book out and flip it to the back, put it back and pull out its neighbor. Finding myself sitting on the floor to reach the books on the lowest shelf to scan the interesting ones. There is no time in a bookstore. It disappears and from the time I walk in until I walk out I am not aware of its passing. I think that is a good measure of enjoyment. If you don't realize how long you've been wandering the aisles of a store it can only be a good thing. Even if I download 99.9% of all my books I can still enjoy that experience of being surrounded by all those books.
Maybe I should go ahead and invest in those glasses.
TT
Monday, November 30, 2015
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Chilled to distraction
It's been officially cold the past two days by my standards. I won't dwell on the weather because I will and can stay inside and be perfectly happy. I have other chores to keep my time occupied. One of the first things I need to do is clean up my work room right here upstairs. I've managed to make a pretty little mess in a few places with materials and paper that needs to stop being a lump here and there. It all needs to be sorted, folded, and put in it's appropriate place whether that is thrown out or neatly saved.
I've been meaning to do it for a few days. Every time I step into the room it's my utmost thought. I need to clean this up. Then I promptly sit at the laptop, ignore the mess around me, than proceed out of the room and do something else. I'm sure the other things are less important, like washing clothes or making dinner. But today is the day I will tackle this room.
The organization will inspire me and allow me to think freely without the distraction of the menial things that need to be done. It will stop me from making ridiculous priority lists that never have any real meaning. It will help with some clear thinking on all the important things going on. No. I'll have a clean room. Bottom line, to me, that is important period.
And it will distract me from the weather by keeping busy.
TT
I've been meaning to do it for a few days. Every time I step into the room it's my utmost thought. I need to clean this up. Then I promptly sit at the laptop, ignore the mess around me, than proceed out of the room and do something else. I'm sure the other things are less important, like washing clothes or making dinner. But today is the day I will tackle this room.
The organization will inspire me and allow me to think freely without the distraction of the menial things that need to be done. It will stop me from making ridiculous priority lists that never have any real meaning. It will help with some clear thinking on all the important things going on. No. I'll have a clean room. Bottom line, to me, that is important period.
And it will distract me from the weather by keeping busy.
TT
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Pretty sad, Not bad
I just finished reading a book. It was awful. It was long and rambling and shallow. The characters had no logical motivation for anything they did during the entire story. It went on and on for almost 600 pages and the characters never seemed real, the story wasn't plausible, and I have no idea why I didn't stop reading it. Instead I read it to the very last wildly abrupt ending. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment or maybe I never grasped the idea it had actually been published. I guess I had some false hope it would get better. It never did. The best part is I'm done with it. Pretty sad.
I just started another book and I can already tell this one will be much better. Not bad.
TT
I just started another book and I can already tell this one will be much better. Not bad.
TT
Ring, ring
I got a call from Mr. L yesterday afternoon. He wanted to talk but mostly he wanted to tell me he left his blankie at my house. I told him that I knew that. I found his blankie, I found the shirt his brother changed out of, the charger his mother left behind and his Dad's phone. He proceeded to tell me his blankie should be at his house. It was at my house and that wasn't quite right.
It's a very nice thing to get a phone call from an almost four year old. It can be a little difficult at times because he will press and talk over you sometimes. I'm told he will also take to walking around the house with the phone to his ear. I have to admit I have a tendency to do that too. I'm not sure why I feel the need to move around when I'm discussing something over the phone but it happens. I guess it happens with him, too.
I asked Mr. L if he wanted me to drive to his house and bring his blankie to him. He very quickly said yes and then goodbye. It was settled. He called, stated his point, and resolved it. I figured I needed to get out of the house and stop at the store so the timing of his call was perfect for me to drive a blankie to its proper owner.
There are times when unexpected phone calls are a good thing.
TT
It's a very nice thing to get a phone call from an almost four year old. It can be a little difficult at times because he will press and talk over you sometimes. I'm told he will also take to walking around the house with the phone to his ear. I have to admit I have a tendency to do that too. I'm not sure why I feel the need to move around when I'm discussing something over the phone but it happens. I guess it happens with him, too.
I asked Mr. L if he wanted me to drive to his house and bring his blankie to him. He very quickly said yes and then goodbye. It was settled. He called, stated his point, and resolved it. I figured I needed to get out of the house and stop at the store so the timing of his call was perfect for me to drive a blankie to its proper owner.
There are times when unexpected phone calls are a good thing.
TT
Friday, November 27, 2015
Nothing more needed
It's the day after Thanksgiving and as the rain starts to pour down I think how quiet today has been. I started the day with coffee and dishwater. I drank only the coffee, of course. The dishwater was to wash all the many pots and pans that were used to make the feast we had yesterday. The floors were given a sweep and mop and when everything was finally in their place I kicked back and read.
Thanksgiving day was a huge success. Everything went well and the many menu items were delicious. Turkey and gravy were the best they have been in a long time. Everyone sat together and it made the day an event.
Now as the rain comes down I can sit and watch. I can't ask for more.
TT
Thanksgiving day was a huge success. Everything went well and the many menu items were delicious. Turkey and gravy were the best they have been in a long time. Everyone sat together and it made the day an event.
Now as the rain comes down I can sit and watch. I can't ask for more.
TT
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Turkey Days Eve
It's the day before Thanksgiving and the activities start this afternoon. It isn't easy planning and preparing for a feast of this magnitude but years of doing it the same way has its advantages. I've worked out most of the kinks in timing of what to do when. It seems simple but if you are making pies and cornbread that need to go into the oven you cannot do that if your oven is occupied by a turkey roasting for many hours. It even comes down to the shopping. Some things can be bought the weekend prior and some produce items need to be bought right before the deadline. This method also ensures you can pick up any items you forgot. I've figured out all those logistics over the many years of preparing this menu.
I guess the best way to start is to list the menu.
Most items can be purchased the weekend before, especially the turkey so it can start to defrost in the refrigerator. I buy all the produce the day before. I usually get out of work early, go straight to the store to get all the fresh items and the items I forgot, then come home.
Wednesday afternoon, I start baking the apple and pumpkin pies. I will also make cornbread which will go into the stuffing. I take the turkey out of the refrigerator and pull the giblets and neck out and put those on to cook. The turkey goes back to the fridge. By doing it this way I have the beginnings of my stuffing that will be prepared first thing Thursday morning. I will also have my pies baked and cooled which frees the oven for the turkey roasting the next day.
I can't wait to get started.
TT
I guess the best way to start is to list the menu.
Roast Turkey
Cornbread Stuffing
Gravy
Mashed Potatoes
Sweet Potatoes
Cranberry Sauce
Green Beans
Carrots
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Collard Greens
Cheese Sauce
Rolls
Apple Pie
Pumpkin Pie
Whipped Cream
Wine
Most items can be purchased the weekend before, especially the turkey so it can start to defrost in the refrigerator. I buy all the produce the day before. I usually get out of work early, go straight to the store to get all the fresh items and the items I forgot, then come home.
Wednesday afternoon, I start baking the apple and pumpkin pies. I will also make cornbread which will go into the stuffing. I take the turkey out of the refrigerator and pull the giblets and neck out and put those on to cook. The turkey goes back to the fridge. By doing it this way I have the beginnings of my stuffing that will be prepared first thing Thursday morning. I will also have my pies baked and cooled which frees the oven for the turkey roasting the next day.
I can't wait to get started.
TT
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Big Turkey
It's 22 1/2 pounds. It's the biggest one I could find. In fact, it must have been so big that when I was trying to put it in my cart, the man close-by insisted on helping. That is just how it is. It doesn't matter if it is more than twice the amount of food needed for everyone. It is supposed to be that much. And that is only the turkey.
This event we have created around Thanksgiving is truly a tradition. Not a single thing has changed about it for more years than I can remember or count back. I know it started very early in those years when little boys were young and so was I. There might have been a few items on the menu that didn't make a comeback but mostly it grew into the phenomenon it is today. If Thanksgiving is the holiday for food, we have it aced. Nothing on this menu changes and it is large. I have tried to suggest we make a few substitutions and/or deletions but it is always roared back with a resounding NO! There isn't even a chance of decreasing the amounts or the large size of the protein. It is meant for leftovers. Even if the little boys are now tall and not living under my roof, they still want to have the food ready to pull from their refrigerators to make another plate for the day after and the next.
I am not allowed to go smaller. So now I make sure to buy two extra aluminum foil roasting pans. These are used for the primary purpose of filling with leftovers when the meal is finished. One goes to one boy and one goes to the other. They are able to take Thanksgiving to their homes and keep the tradition exactly the same as it has been since they were young and so was I.
It isn't any more trouble to make a large turkey instead of a small. There is no way I will be the one to break tradition.
TT
This event we have created around Thanksgiving is truly a tradition. Not a single thing has changed about it for more years than I can remember or count back. I know it started very early in those years when little boys were young and so was I. There might have been a few items on the menu that didn't make a comeback but mostly it grew into the phenomenon it is today. If Thanksgiving is the holiday for food, we have it aced. Nothing on this menu changes and it is large. I have tried to suggest we make a few substitutions and/or deletions but it is always roared back with a resounding NO! There isn't even a chance of decreasing the amounts or the large size of the protein. It is meant for leftovers. Even if the little boys are now tall and not living under my roof, they still want to have the food ready to pull from their refrigerators to make another plate for the day after and the next.
I am not allowed to go smaller. So now I make sure to buy two extra aluminum foil roasting pans. These are used for the primary purpose of filling with leftovers when the meal is finished. One goes to one boy and one goes to the other. They are able to take Thanksgiving to their homes and keep the tradition exactly the same as it has been since they were young and so was I.
It isn't any more trouble to make a large turkey instead of a small. There is no way I will be the one to break tradition.
TT
11/23/79
November 23, 1979
That is the date we got married and it's been 36 years. It happened to fall the day after Thanksgiving and we both had that day off. We haven't had that day off since and really our anniversary rarely falls on that date. It fell on a Monday this year. Jay was off but I went to work.
Since Thanksgiving is this Thursday, he wanted to help with all the things that need to happen. We talked about how it's might be possible to keep all the food warm while I'm still making food. I don't have a restaurant kitchen that can accommodate the many components that are involved in this menu. I don't even have a dining room where we can sit and enjoy the meal after all the cooking is done. I only have my very small kitchen with everything and everybody trying to gather and raise a glass while making gravy and un-stuffing a turkey.
Between the two of us, we tried to come up with an idea to make things work better. Jay spent the day shopping, and shopping. By the time I came home from work, he had a buffet table, two food warmers, an electric plug strip, and talk of how we could pull the dining table out of the kitchen and into the living area. He would bring a small table for the kitchen prep and it would eliminate the kitchen crowding and use it only for cooking. They were all ideas we talked about and he had it laid out and ready by the time I got home.
It's going to make a difference this year. We've been doing this a long time. Thirty six years is a long time to be doing anything but when you shake it up and see it another way keeps it exciting. There was one other thing that was waiting for me when I got home. It was the dozen roses.
I think it will make a splendid centerpiece.
TT
That is the date we got married and it's been 36 years. It happened to fall the day after Thanksgiving and we both had that day off. We haven't had that day off since and really our anniversary rarely falls on that date. It fell on a Monday this year. Jay was off but I went to work.
Since Thanksgiving is this Thursday, he wanted to help with all the things that need to happen. We talked about how it's might be possible to keep all the food warm while I'm still making food. I don't have a restaurant kitchen that can accommodate the many components that are involved in this menu. I don't even have a dining room where we can sit and enjoy the meal after all the cooking is done. I only have my very small kitchen with everything and everybody trying to gather and raise a glass while making gravy and un-stuffing a turkey.
Between the two of us, we tried to come up with an idea to make things work better. Jay spent the day shopping, and shopping. By the time I came home from work, he had a buffet table, two food warmers, an electric plug strip, and talk of how we could pull the dining table out of the kitchen and into the living area. He would bring a small table for the kitchen prep and it would eliminate the kitchen crowding and use it only for cooking. They were all ideas we talked about and he had it laid out and ready by the time I got home.
It's going to make a difference this year. We've been doing this a long time. Thirty six years is a long time to be doing anything but when you shake it up and see it another way keeps it exciting. There was one other thing that was waiting for me when I got home. It was the dozen roses.
I think it will make a splendid centerpiece.
TT
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Topping off
I fully expected it to be cold, blustery, and raining this morning. What a pleasant surprise when I got up and it was clear and 70 degrees. I grabbed a quick cup of coffee and pulled on my running shoes. I was quick enough to beat the bad weather. I needed a little recovery run to get those interior fluids moving to keep the soreness way from all the landscaping I did yesterday. After a full day of rolling old tires, paining benches and spreading 1/2 acre of mulch, I was feeling a little creaky. I knew if I got out and ran it would put me back in line.
It did just that. I feel better now that if I had laid around the 'rested'. And I missed the awful weather. I can see now it might be getting a little windy and cloudy. But that will be okay. My next chore is to head out to the grocery store before it gets clogged with people. A turkey is waiting for me.
TT
It did just that. I feel better now that if I had laid around the 'rested'. And I missed the awful weather. I can see now it might be getting a little windy and cloudy. But that will be okay. My next chore is to head out to the grocery store before it gets clogged with people. A turkey is waiting for me.
TT
Friday, November 20, 2015
OOO
I'm leaving the house a little later this morning since I don't have to show up in the office. I was lucky enough to be chosen to participate in a community action day today and will be doing some work around the Girl Scout Headquarters. It's going to be some work outside and I don't think there could have been a nicer day to spend outdoors. The other option would be stuck at my desk all day and this is just so much more appealing.
It's a really nice way to kick off Friday and the coming weekend. That will be filled with some activity since I will need to get my act together around the Thanksgiving grocery shopping. I've got a lot to look forward to but right now, I'm just happy to be doing what I'm doing.
TT
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Bad duo's
It's closing in on the end of the week and today the cooler mornings are getting to me. I could say it's probably due more to my age but when it's combined with the type of temperatures I'd rather not face first thing in the morning it can be a bad duo.
I will forgo the descriptions of my small and rather mild ailments. Pick another old person to catch up with all the malady's that befalls each of them. Everyone of them has a long list they are usually more than willing to fess up to and expound on in great length. I am realizing by listening it is nothing more than excuses to not do something they know they should be doing. I would have to say I'm probably in the minority for that opinion. Most people would have fits about me trying to argue the point that as you get older you have more twinges than before. Those aches and pains are real. I know they are there. I don't believe they are all related to age unless you count the fact that so many use age as the only reason not to do things anymore. You're too old. You shouldn't be doing that anymore. You need to slow down. I've heard them all over and again. My twinges were there before. I didn't notice them as much and yeah, now I don't heal up as quickly.
I'll deal with it. And maybe when I'm a little creaky in the morning it might have something to do with the cold morning and the end of the week. It might even have something to do with the fact I DIDN'T get moving yesterday afternoon and my muscles are asking why not? It's that combination of things that make it happen. It isn't all or always about age.
TT
I will forgo the descriptions of my small and rather mild ailments. Pick another old person to catch up with all the malady's that befalls each of them. Everyone of them has a long list they are usually more than willing to fess up to and expound on in great length. I am realizing by listening it is nothing more than excuses to not do something they know they should be doing. I would have to say I'm probably in the minority for that opinion. Most people would have fits about me trying to argue the point that as you get older you have more twinges than before. Those aches and pains are real. I know they are there. I don't believe they are all related to age unless you count the fact that so many use age as the only reason not to do things anymore. You're too old. You shouldn't be doing that anymore. You need to slow down. I've heard them all over and again. My twinges were there before. I didn't notice them as much and yeah, now I don't heal up as quickly.
I'll deal with it. And maybe when I'm a little creaky in the morning it might have something to do with the cold morning and the end of the week. It might even have something to do with the fact I DIDN'T get moving yesterday afternoon and my muscles are asking why not? It's that combination of things that make it happen. It isn't all or always about age.
TT
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Faux writing
I gave two reviews yesterday to two different people who requested I take a look at their writing. Every so often I get these through the writing.com site. I don't really participate in the site the way it is set up. It's more of a social media mecca for a lot of people who have varying degrees of interest in writing or just have a network of on-line faux friends while setting up contests. Did I say fake? I can't say that. Since I don't participate or have any friends on the site it isn't fair for me to determine the extent of anyone else's relationships. I'm not so much into social media, can you tell?
But I was asked to give my thoughts on two different short pieces. I did reply to both and received a note back from one who was very appreciative. She felt I had given her something useful to get going on and start working again. She had a good way with a phrase. I haven't heard back from the other. It might be a time difference and it might be they just don't know it's polite to at least say thanks for taking the time but I thought your suggestions were garbage. They will probably go on their merry way and find another faux person to give them advice. That's okay, too. You asked I gave. Don't ask me a question if you don't expect me to answer.
But the good part about writing these reviews is I have to really pay attention to what is on the page. It makes me be a little better at writing because it reminds me that my own writing cannot be a sentimental journey of loving and cuddling every word or sentence. You can't have that much attachment to what you put down. You have to know everything can and will be cut, edited out, and written again. There are no lasting relationships with what goes down on the page. At least there isn't in the early stages. All those words I've written are only gathered together on a page in a type of their own social media mecca. All are false until proved real. They aren't proven real until they all say thank you at the end of a reading and make polite to the reader. Otherwise they are merely degrees of garbage and need to be sent on their merry way.
TT
But I was asked to give my thoughts on two different short pieces. I did reply to both and received a note back from one who was very appreciative. She felt I had given her something useful to get going on and start working again. She had a good way with a phrase. I haven't heard back from the other. It might be a time difference and it might be they just don't know it's polite to at least say thanks for taking the time but I thought your suggestions were garbage. They will probably go on their merry way and find another faux person to give them advice. That's okay, too. You asked I gave. Don't ask me a question if you don't expect me to answer.
But the good part about writing these reviews is I have to really pay attention to what is on the page. It makes me be a little better at writing because it reminds me that my own writing cannot be a sentimental journey of loving and cuddling every word or sentence. You can't have that much attachment to what you put down. You have to know everything can and will be cut, edited out, and written again. There are no lasting relationships with what goes down on the page. At least there isn't in the early stages. All those words I've written are only gathered together on a page in a type of their own social media mecca. All are false until proved real. They aren't proven real until they all say thank you at the end of a reading and make polite to the reader. Otherwise they are merely degrees of garbage and need to be sent on their merry way.
TT
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
What's today?
I've gotten behind on what day it is again. I'm not sure how I lose track so easily but it seems to be a reoccurring problem. The days of the week stay in the same order yet I can't seem to know or remember which one exactly is now. What day is it? Isn't it Friday yet? It feels like it should be a Thursday but it's only Wednesday. Then I look over at my very small desk calendar and realize I still have it on October when it's the middle of November.
Maybe, I don't really need a desk calendar. No. I need one, but only if I might actually use it. It doesn't seem I have been using it at all. At least I haven't for the last half a month.
But I know today is Tuesday and now that I am looking and recognizing my very small desk calendar, I can see Thanksgiving is next week. I can shake my head and say, "How did that creep up on me?" It wouldn't do any good. I should say, "Look, it's almost Thanksgiving!" I'll go with that for now and figure out the repercussions a little later. I mean it's only Tuesday and I have a little time.
TT
Monday, November 16, 2015
Seven miles
I'm not sure what finally possessed me to go out and run seven miles yesterday morning. I've spent more time in the past month deciding how not to go out for a run that when I finally got up and went it was a surprise. And it was a good, easy run around the neighborhood.
I could have made a fuss about it being cold. When I say cold I mean cold for me since I don't tolerate it well. But somehow I didn't give it much of a thought and went out anyway. I realized at mile two my fingers were no longer frozen. By the time I hit mile four, I was sweating. Then instead of ending the run right at about mile five, I made a turn off and hit a headwind that dried me off and felt really good. It was seven miles by the time I was a few feet from the house. My pace sucked but who was timing me? It was still seven miles that felt good. I haven't had that in a while.
I almost stumbled at one point. I caught my toe on a rock in the only spot that isn't paved but was able to catch myself before going down. I straightened myself out and kept going. Then I got a twinge in my left knee and still have a bit of it now. It really slowed me down after that but it wasn't a pain, just a real annoyance so I kept after it. It still feels a little off today but it probably isn't more than what I think it is. A twinge from correcting the almost fall.
The fact is I finally got myself up and out and packed on a better run than I've had in a long time. It's about time.
TT
I could have made a fuss about it being cold. When I say cold I mean cold for me since I don't tolerate it well. But somehow I didn't give it much of a thought and went out anyway. I realized at mile two my fingers were no longer frozen. By the time I hit mile four, I was sweating. Then instead of ending the run right at about mile five, I made a turn off and hit a headwind that dried me off and felt really good. It was seven miles by the time I was a few feet from the house. My pace sucked but who was timing me? It was still seven miles that felt good. I haven't had that in a while.
I almost stumbled at one point. I caught my toe on a rock in the only spot that isn't paved but was able to catch myself before going down. I straightened myself out and kept going. Then I got a twinge in my left knee and still have a bit of it now. It really slowed me down after that but it wasn't a pain, just a real annoyance so I kept after it. It still feels a little off today but it probably isn't more than what I think it is. A twinge from correcting the almost fall.
The fact is I finally got myself up and out and packed on a better run than I've had in a long time. It's about time.
TT
Sunday, November 15, 2015
The music is in me
How do you get your music nowadays?
I have a passion for music. It's something I listen to everyday, without fail. There isn't one single day that goes by that I haven't listened to at least a few hours of music, even if it's a background to something else I might be doing. It's always there, always revving me up, giving me something that fills and heals and can be sunny or sad. All of it is something I can't do without.
Music has always been around for me. I grew up with my mother's albums played on various degrees of better record players and stereos. Every evening after dinner, in the back room of the house where we grew up, she would sit at her sewing machine with Tony Bennett, Petula Clark, or Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass. She would play scores of Andy Williams, Perry Como, and Vicki Carr. I remember the latter being so dramatic and thinking that, if this is an example of how it should be done, she was committed. I probably carried that with me going into teenage years and early twenties when I lived and breathed theater. I couldn't and wouldn't, for all the world, get away from the music.
My dad sang in the church choir. He would go up with the group to the loft and pipe organs above while the rest of the family sat below in the center of the church. After each mass he would ask, "Could you hear me?" It was a choir of blended voices but I could pick his out of the crowd. He would smile back at me when I strongly nodded my head in a definite positive. He wanted to be heard even in the crowd. We practiced songs together while he drove around in the car doing every day errands. Over and over we would sing the same tunes trying to perfect the harmonies, laughing at missed notes, and trying it again. It was always acapella and sometimes he would start or sometimes it would be me. We always gave it the Vicki Carr commitment.
It was many years later while listening to the radio with a co-worker that I realized not everyone could pick out the different instruments playing in songs. I thought everyone could hear the horn, keyboard, or strings that would float through a piece. When I realized not everyone tuned into music that way I couldn't help but think if what they heard was only a mash of notes. What did they actually hear or did they hear anything at all? How could that be? The years of playing piano taught me to read those notes and understand their placements, and timing, crescendos and decrescendos. It didn't hurt to have it all around me with a brother that became a virtuoso at that keyboard or the brothers that picked up 6-string, 12-string guitars, banjos and sang. We were all a fearless bunch of happy racket makers. But what a joyously wonderful way to make noise.
The music stays with me all the time. I played it over and over while painting this room. I play it each night in the kitchen while making dinner. It's on the deck while we relax and sit outside. It's with me on runs, long or short. There are different ways to get it these days instead of large vinyl record albums or only on the local stations of radios. But with all the technology, it sometimes get's hard to figure out where to pin it down or how to find something new. I only know I have it and it's never going away.
TT
I have a passion for music. It's something I listen to everyday, without fail. There isn't one single day that goes by that I haven't listened to at least a few hours of music, even if it's a background to something else I might be doing. It's always there, always revving me up, giving me something that fills and heals and can be sunny or sad. All of it is something I can't do without.
Music has always been around for me. I grew up with my mother's albums played on various degrees of better record players and stereos. Every evening after dinner, in the back room of the house where we grew up, she would sit at her sewing machine with Tony Bennett, Petula Clark, or Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass. She would play scores of Andy Williams, Perry Como, and Vicki Carr. I remember the latter being so dramatic and thinking that, if this is an example of how it should be done, she was committed. I probably carried that with me going into teenage years and early twenties when I lived and breathed theater. I couldn't and wouldn't, for all the world, get away from the music.
My dad sang in the church choir. He would go up with the group to the loft and pipe organs above while the rest of the family sat below in the center of the church. After each mass he would ask, "Could you hear me?" It was a choir of blended voices but I could pick his out of the crowd. He would smile back at me when I strongly nodded my head in a definite positive. He wanted to be heard even in the crowd. We practiced songs together while he drove around in the car doing every day errands. Over and over we would sing the same tunes trying to perfect the harmonies, laughing at missed notes, and trying it again. It was always acapella and sometimes he would start or sometimes it would be me. We always gave it the Vicki Carr commitment.
It was many years later while listening to the radio with a co-worker that I realized not everyone could pick out the different instruments playing in songs. I thought everyone could hear the horn, keyboard, or strings that would float through a piece. When I realized not everyone tuned into music that way I couldn't help but think if what they heard was only a mash of notes. What did they actually hear or did they hear anything at all? How could that be? The years of playing piano taught me to read those notes and understand their placements, and timing, crescendos and decrescendos. It didn't hurt to have it all around me with a brother that became a virtuoso at that keyboard or the brothers that picked up 6-string, 12-string guitars, banjos and sang. We were all a fearless bunch of happy racket makers. But what a joyously wonderful way to make noise.
The music stays with me all the time. I played it over and over while painting this room. I play it each night in the kitchen while making dinner. It's on the deck while we relax and sit outside. It's with me on runs, long or short. There are different ways to get it these days instead of large vinyl record albums or only on the local stations of radios. But with all the technology, it sometimes get's hard to figure out where to pin it down or how to find something new. I only know I have it and it's never going away.
TT
Saturday, November 14, 2015
For me
I know I should be thinking up a better topic. The fact that so many days I just start putting down a bunch of words that enter my head at that particular moment may not be the best approach to make anything interesting. Is that supposed to make a difference? Who am I putting these words down for anyway? My entire approach to starting this was that I wanted to do what everyone said I needed to do to get better at writing. I needed to write. Write, write, write. Put the words down, get them out, stop editing as you go along and write, write, write.
I've been doing that. It may or may not be the best approach to getting any better. It certainly isn't any good for writing anything interesting. Words tumbling over more words, linked to even more words do not usually produce anything interesting. It might give you an idea for something that may become interesting but then you have to plow through all the many words to find the real idea.
I've done that already. I wrote an entire manuscript of words that I thought had some kind of interesting idea around it. It didn't. It's merely a first draft of a bunch of words that I strung together. And maybe that is what I needed to do. It's how you learn. You start out and do it and then, hopefully, you keep working on it. But you can't think that is where you stop. It isn't done. It never ends there. Never. Not for any writer. Don't fool yourself into thinking the first time you put those long string of words down that you are done. That is only breaking the very edge of the idea.
Yes, I know you can write your outlines, and plan your characterizations, and there are reams of pages of advice on how to get it done quickly and easily and avoid numerous re-writes. The fact is its more work even when you have done all that. It's more than you thought, even when you thought it was a lot. It's even more.
But right here in this space and all these words I put down have always been, from the beginning, a way to get me to write. I think of it as a run. Not a training run, or a sprint, or a long run, or an anything run. It's just getting up and doing something along the lines of what I want to do to keep me going. I want to keep going so I keep on doing it whether it counts or not. Sometimes it comes out better than other times. Sometimes not. But then, I'm putting these words down for no one. Except me.
TT
I've been doing that. It may or may not be the best approach to getting any better. It certainly isn't any good for writing anything interesting. Words tumbling over more words, linked to even more words do not usually produce anything interesting. It might give you an idea for something that may become interesting but then you have to plow through all the many words to find the real idea.
I've done that already. I wrote an entire manuscript of words that I thought had some kind of interesting idea around it. It didn't. It's merely a first draft of a bunch of words that I strung together. And maybe that is what I needed to do. It's how you learn. You start out and do it and then, hopefully, you keep working on it. But you can't think that is where you stop. It isn't done. It never ends there. Never. Not for any writer. Don't fool yourself into thinking the first time you put those long string of words down that you are done. That is only breaking the very edge of the idea.
Yes, I know you can write your outlines, and plan your characterizations, and there are reams of pages of advice on how to get it done quickly and easily and avoid numerous re-writes. The fact is its more work even when you have done all that. It's more than you thought, even when you thought it was a lot. It's even more.
But right here in this space and all these words I put down have always been, from the beginning, a way to get me to write. I think of it as a run. Not a training run, or a sprint, or a long run, or an anything run. It's just getting up and doing something along the lines of what I want to do to keep me going. I want to keep going so I keep on doing it whether it counts or not. Sometimes it comes out better than other times. Sometimes not. But then, I'm putting these words down for no one. Except me.
TT
Friday, November 13, 2015
Not today
I guess I should write something about Friday the 13th since today is exactly that. The problem is that I am not in the least suspicious and I'm not sure if for me it holds any meaning whatsoever. If I were to look at it right now, I would think it has more on the positive side than negative. I mean, everyone reminds you to live in the moment and at the moment from my perspective things are more than pretty good.
Today is Friday, which means my weekend is practically here. Yea! Strike up the bank and set off the fireworks! Since the 15th falls over the weekend we get paid today. YEA! Even better. I have the weekend coming and money in the bank.
So, I'm not sure when the ominous Friday the 13th stuff is supposed to take effect. If you are to ask me, my answer would be never.
TT
Today is Friday, which means my weekend is practically here. Yea! Strike up the bank and set off the fireworks! Since the 15th falls over the weekend we get paid today. YEA! Even better. I have the weekend coming and money in the bank.
So, I'm not sure when the ominous Friday the 13th stuff is supposed to take effect. If you are to ask me, my answer would be never.
TT
Thursday, November 12, 2015
More absurd headlines
I couldn't help but follow-up on more online news headlines. The ones I mentioned yesterday piqued my interest on what might be on their site today. I didn't think I could come across any more headlines that were less news-worthy than the ones I saw yesterday but I might have been wrong.
I realize a headline is designed to get you to stop and click open the article. I didn't do that yesterday and didn't do it again today. I merely glazed over the different sections of this new site and picked out one that looked, well, I don't want to say interesting so I should be honest and say absurd. I guess they will do whatever it takes to get those clicks.
Here are the headlines for today:
Travel - The coolest abandoned hotels and resort towns
I guess you can't stay at these hotels but travel to tour them?
Food - 44 creative ways to eat more chocolate
Do I need to eat chocolate creatively and more importantly, do I need to do it more than one way?
Health & Fitness - The surprising link between your sense of humor and dementia risk
Uh oh
Entertainment - Drama! Giada De Laurentiis' new boyfriend is still married
I've got a feeling it isn't as dramatic as they are trying to sell.
These are the actual headlines. I didn't change a single word. All the comments are my own. Maybe I should go back and read that Health & Fitness article.
TT
I realize a headline is designed to get you to stop and click open the article. I didn't do that yesterday and didn't do it again today. I merely glazed over the different sections of this new site and picked out one that looked, well, I don't want to say interesting so I should be honest and say absurd. I guess they will do whatever it takes to get those clicks.
Here are the headlines for today:
Travel - The coolest abandoned hotels and resort towns
I guess you can't stay at these hotels but travel to tour them?
Food - 44 creative ways to eat more chocolate
Do I need to eat chocolate creatively and more importantly, do I need to do it more than one way?
Health & Fitness - The surprising link between your sense of humor and dementia risk
Uh oh
Entertainment - Drama! Giada De Laurentiis' new boyfriend is still married
I've got a feeling it isn't as dramatic as they are trying to sell.
These are the actual headlines. I didn't change a single word. All the comments are my own. Maybe I should go back and read that Health & Fitness article.
TT
This is news?
I don't watch the news on television. I'm not even sure where I would find that channel. I know they keep the TV's in the breakrooms at work on CNN but not the breakroom I am closest to because it's such a small area. They can't fit one of those big televisions they put in all the other breakrooms in there. But even at home I don't watch.
I will find myself reading articles online. Sometimes that will happen at work, in-between finishing something and before starting something else. I'll go to a couple of news websites to gather anything that catches my eye to read. Unfortunately, somtimes the things that are available to read aren't all that interesting and I have to turn away and search for something else. I guess that is why they all try really hard to come up with something that will catch your attention right away. They know the dangers of how quickly someone will click you away and move on.
I wrote down some of the actual headlines that I saw yesterday.
Travel section: The best ski escapes for non-skiers
Food section: Never run out of alcohol at your party again
Health & Fitness: Things you shouldn't do before going to bed
Entertainment: Giada DeLaurentiis' new boyfriend revealed
I didn't read any of them but remained stumped about the sheer ridiculousness of the headlines. They obviously didn't have any depth to them. How could they?
The travel section must be getting a kick-back from the ski resorts to advertise something to encourage skiers to bring they partners who hate to ski along on the trip. Look, here are all the things they can distract themselves and pay more money for while you go ski!
The food section is really reaching because who runs out of alcohol at a party? Do you really need an article to tell you how not to do that? Maybe they should concentrate on not running out of food.
I'm not sure about you, but I can't imagine there are that many things you shouldn't do before going to bed. I tried to think up a few but I just can't come up with anything that makes any real difference.
And revealing someone's boyfriend might be big entertainment to some but Giada is a chef. Are we having a cross-over moment, a left-over from another section? Maybe there is only one writer for all these articles and that was the only article left to fill up all the sections.
I don't know. Maybe that is why I don't know where the news station is located on my television. At least with online headlines I can skip over them pretty quickly and click myself away. I'd be wasting a whole lot more time watching these silly stories waiting for something that is news-worth to show up.
TT
I will find myself reading articles online. Sometimes that will happen at work, in-between finishing something and before starting something else. I'll go to a couple of news websites to gather anything that catches my eye to read. Unfortunately, somtimes the things that are available to read aren't all that interesting and I have to turn away and search for something else. I guess that is why they all try really hard to come up with something that will catch your attention right away. They know the dangers of how quickly someone will click you away and move on.
I wrote down some of the actual headlines that I saw yesterday.
Travel section: The best ski escapes for non-skiers
Food section: Never run out of alcohol at your party again
Health & Fitness: Things you shouldn't do before going to bed
Entertainment: Giada DeLaurentiis' new boyfriend revealed
I didn't read any of them but remained stumped about the sheer ridiculousness of the headlines. They obviously didn't have any depth to them. How could they?
The travel section must be getting a kick-back from the ski resorts to advertise something to encourage skiers to bring they partners who hate to ski along on the trip. Look, here are all the things they can distract themselves and pay more money for while you go ski!
The food section is really reaching because who runs out of alcohol at a party? Do you really need an article to tell you how not to do that? Maybe they should concentrate on not running out of food.
I'm not sure about you, but I can't imagine there are that many things you shouldn't do before going to bed. I tried to think up a few but I just can't come up with anything that makes any real difference.
And revealing someone's boyfriend might be big entertainment to some but Giada is a chef. Are we having a cross-over moment, a left-over from another section? Maybe there is only one writer for all these articles and that was the only article left to fill up all the sections.
I don't know. Maybe that is why I don't know where the news station is located on my television. At least with online headlines I can skip over them pretty quickly and click myself away. I'd be wasting a whole lot more time watching these silly stories waiting for something that is news-worth to show up.
TT
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Few things before
I managed to get up early again this morning. It's becoming a regular pattern now. I think the time change has finally settled into regular time again. I only wish they wouldn't make that fall back, spring forward, move the hour up and down anymore. I can't see the real reason to continue doing it except to upset people like me who are fine the way it is. Ah well, I don't believe it's going to change. I don't know that anything I think makes any difference when it comes to things like that.
I would like to get a few more things done this morning before work. I'm not sure how much of it will really get done but I can make my attempts. I'm certainly not entertaining the idea of going in to work any earlier than normal. I don't need the extra time there. It seems I need it here at home and since I seem to be up and awake this works for me.
So now, I will get on to those few things...
TT
I would like to get a few more things done this morning before work. I'm not sure how much of it will really get done but I can make my attempts. I'm certainly not entertaining the idea of going in to work any earlier than normal. I don't need the extra time there. It seems I need it here at home and since I seem to be up and awake this works for me.
So now, I will get on to those few things...
TT
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Early
I got up early this morning and used the extra time. I thought about going into work and then after one second decided nah. I didn't do that. I decided to go in at my regular time and not get to my desk any earlier than I normally would. It was a good decision. Who needs to get to work any earlier than regular time. I sure didn't so it was a good move on my part.
I put the extra time to good use and the day went on well. It started out well and ended pretty much the same way.
TT
I put the extra time to good use and the day went on well. It started out well and ended pretty much the same way.
TT
Monday, November 9, 2015
Monday ready
The weekend went too quickly as always. I opened my eyes this morning and realized it was Monday morning. Time to get up and moving. Time to get ready for work and the entire week ahead. I always have that slight feeling of dread when you wake up and realize the day is not for me to plan but to do as the routine dictates. It's okay. My routines aren't so bad and most of the time even if they are I will eventually get around to changing them.
I admit sometimes it takes me longer to change the routines than others. I will admit there is too much thought put into changing things at times. I decide I need to think about it from this angle and then run around to the other side and take another look from that view. Let me see how it looks from up above or down below. Up, down, over, under and my thoughts keep getting confused on what I imagine I see. I mean, really, when it comes down to it, I don't know how the change will turn out by anayzing it. It is only when I proceed to make the change that I have any power on how it turns out. That thought process it just a stall tactic. It's a way of rationalizing and calming that lying voice in my head that changes don't need to be made even if I know they do.
So, that has nothing to do with my weekend which was filled with my own choices and not with choices made inside that part of my head that talks me out of things that are really better for me. It was totally relaxing, which I needed. We got to cook up some good food, which is always a plus, and the weather, although it started out a little on the wet side, turned nice and comfortable by the end of the weekend.
I'm ready for Monday and this new week. I might need to make a couple of changes with my after hours times but it isn't anything I need to think about. I'll just approach it when it's time.
TT
I admit sometimes it takes me longer to change the routines than others. I will admit there is too much thought put into changing things at times. I decide I need to think about it from this angle and then run around to the other side and take another look from that view. Let me see how it looks from up above or down below. Up, down, over, under and my thoughts keep getting confused on what I imagine I see. I mean, really, when it comes down to it, I don't know how the change will turn out by anayzing it. It is only when I proceed to make the change that I have any power on how it turns out. That thought process it just a stall tactic. It's a way of rationalizing and calming that lying voice in my head that changes don't need to be made even if I know they do.
So, that has nothing to do with my weekend which was filled with my own choices and not with choices made inside that part of my head that talks me out of things that are really better for me. It was totally relaxing, which I needed. We got to cook up some good food, which is always a plus, and the weather, although it started out a little on the wet side, turned nice and comfortable by the end of the weekend.
I'm ready for Monday and this new week. I might need to make a couple of changes with my after hours times but it isn't anything I need to think about. I'll just approach it when it's time.
TT
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Enjoy
Sunday morning, November 8, 2015
It's early. That's normal. I'm looking forward to a nice day weather-wise and just overall. It's still dark out and it's quiet in the neighborhood. It's a good time to collect my thoughts and see where they might take me. Let's solve all those pressing questions, find solutions to the things that matter. It seems like a tall order for a quiet Sunday morning.
The fact is there really isn't anything pressing. The things that matter don't need any solutions because there isn't a problem to solve. Things are not in a bad way by any stretch. So it sounds like it is going to be a really nice day. Choices can be made for the fun and enjoyment of doing them instead of any pressure of needing to get anything done. It's all taken care of for now and it's time to take advantage of the other side of that balancing act. Slow down, relax, and enjoy. It's early.
TT
It's early. That's normal. I'm looking forward to a nice day weather-wise and just overall. It's still dark out and it's quiet in the neighborhood. It's a good time to collect my thoughts and see where they might take me. Let's solve all those pressing questions, find solutions to the things that matter. It seems like a tall order for a quiet Sunday morning.
The fact is there really isn't anything pressing. The things that matter don't need any solutions because there isn't a problem to solve. Things are not in a bad way by any stretch. So it sounds like it is going to be a really nice day. Choices can be made for the fun and enjoyment of doing them instead of any pressure of needing to get anything done. It's all taken care of for now and it's time to take advantage of the other side of that balancing act. Slow down, relax, and enjoy. It's early.
TT
Saturday, November 7, 2015
My run will wait
I missed my 10-minute 'sprint' yesterday. I didn't set my timer
and go for it. This morning it looks like I'll have more than enough time to
write. I had every intention of putting in a load of laundry in the wash and
then heading out for a long leisurely run. I pictured it in my head as a slow
and steady, easy, breezy run. It was to be a relaxing, invigorating, totally
stress-deflating type of way to start off the weekend. It was to be a kick-start
to the rest of all the activities I was going to do.
I didn't realize how bad the weather really was. I wasn't expecting the constant dripping of rain. I don't even mind the temperatures right now. Those are fine, even if lower than I would normally call fine, but that isn't what but a damper on my activity.
The damper is the wet. Now I'm known for running in the rain in prior instances. It isn't exactly something I shy away from doing anymore. That happened only once, or was it twice, when I had never done it before. In that one, was it two, instances that a race was approaching I made anxious inquiries if the race was still going to happen. What if it rains? The answer was always the same. It will go on. So I went and pretty much lucked out since the rain didn't happen until after I was well into the race. One 10K it didn't come down until I was crossing the finish and then I got to watch it afterward. I've always started out in regular weather and didn't mind the rain coming down once I started running. Many times it feels pretty good to have that happen. But I can't seem to get out my door if it's already coming down.
Like this morning. I don't think I can push myself to go on when it's already pouring down. I realize skin is waterproof but only if it isn't raining when I first start. That only seems to apply if it's dry when I start, or not actually coming down, and starts after I have.
So I will need to re-arrange the timing of everything I will do today. The laundry still goes in right now to get that started. I will have another cup of coffee and probably clean up the kitchen. I'll make a grocery list and see about heading out to the store. I am crossing my fingers that there will be a break in the rain and I will head out for that run, even if I need to adjust the fantasy I have in my head. That's okay. I can still picture it happening.
Then, I will have more time to set that silly timer for more than 10 minutes and let loose on another story. I'll work on one of them. My thoughts keep bouncing back and forth between a few I've started, one or two I've finished and which needs major editing. And my 10-minute timer you ask? It went off at least 4 minutes ago. It was at least that long ago so I've gone over the 10-minute mark.
TT
I didn't realize how bad the weather really was. I wasn't expecting the constant dripping of rain. I don't even mind the temperatures right now. Those are fine, even if lower than I would normally call fine, but that isn't what but a damper on my activity.
The damper is the wet. Now I'm known for running in the rain in prior instances. It isn't exactly something I shy away from doing anymore. That happened only once, or was it twice, when I had never done it before. In that one, was it two, instances that a race was approaching I made anxious inquiries if the race was still going to happen. What if it rains? The answer was always the same. It will go on. So I went and pretty much lucked out since the rain didn't happen until after I was well into the race. One 10K it didn't come down until I was crossing the finish and then I got to watch it afterward. I've always started out in regular weather and didn't mind the rain coming down once I started running. Many times it feels pretty good to have that happen. But I can't seem to get out my door if it's already coming down.
Like this morning. I don't think I can push myself to go on when it's already pouring down. I realize skin is waterproof but only if it isn't raining when I first start. That only seems to apply if it's dry when I start, or not actually coming down, and starts after I have.
So I will need to re-arrange the timing of everything I will do today. The laundry still goes in right now to get that started. I will have another cup of coffee and probably clean up the kitchen. I'll make a grocery list and see about heading out to the store. I am crossing my fingers that there will be a break in the rain and I will head out for that run, even if I need to adjust the fantasy I have in my head. That's okay. I can still picture it happening.
Then, I will have more time to set that silly timer for more than 10 minutes and let loose on another story. I'll work on one of them. My thoughts keep bouncing back and forth between a few I've started, one or two I've finished and which needs major editing. And my 10-minute timer you ask? It went off at least 4 minutes ago. It was at least that long ago so I've gone over the 10-minute mark.
TT
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Another 10
Shall we try for another 10 minutes?
This is an exercise to start slowing getting back into a routine that you want to have. It's a way of prodding yourself ever so slowing into doing something you claim you have no time in the day to do. The idea is to take 5 minutes, set a timer and only do that one thing. No preparation, no thinking ahead, no planning and just doing that one thing for the entire five minutes until the alarm goes off.
After you have mastered the five minutes each day and realize you have that short amount of time to do this thing, you can move on to doing it for a longer period, say 10 or 15 minutes. Soon you will be on the road to making it something that fits nicely into your regular schedule. That is how it should work. I have only attempted it once, yesterday, and it worked. I thought it couldn't hurt to try again today and see where it might lead.
The only difference is that I had to be my own silly overachiever, my own rebel that won't follow the rules exactly as laid out. I had to do 10 minutes not 5. It worked out yesterday. I managed to keep going, to keep writing for the full 10 minutes. I posted that crazy thing yesterday without much of a second glance and (goodness) any editing. I haven't had the time to really read through it again with much focus but the one time I did read it, it wasn't too bad.
The ten minutes was my way of giving myself an out. I mean, the only logical reason I wasn't taking the time to spend on this anyway was because of the fears that well up whenever you think you can't do something. By making myself do this for 10 minutes was an easy way to tell myself, "I told you so," when I didn't do it. I would become the self-fulfilling prophesy of my inner voice that tells me I can't. Do you see how I can set myself up for failing? That voice lies constantly and yet how much attention is always given to it. If a real person was constantly telling me the same things I would have walked away from them a long, long time ago. But this voice isn't as easy to walk away from. Or is it? Doesn't it really take the same amount of courage to walk away from those inner voices you know are lies as it does to a real life person.
Oh, listen. That 10 minutes alarm is going off already! Success, two days in a row.
TT
This is an exercise to start slowing getting back into a routine that you want to have. It's a way of prodding yourself ever so slowing into doing something you claim you have no time in the day to do. The idea is to take 5 minutes, set a timer and only do that one thing. No preparation, no thinking ahead, no planning and just doing that one thing for the entire five minutes until the alarm goes off.
After you have mastered the five minutes each day and realize you have that short amount of time to do this thing, you can move on to doing it for a longer period, say 10 or 15 minutes. Soon you will be on the road to making it something that fits nicely into your regular schedule. That is how it should work. I have only attempted it once, yesterday, and it worked. I thought it couldn't hurt to try again today and see where it might lead.
The only difference is that I had to be my own silly overachiever, my own rebel that won't follow the rules exactly as laid out. I had to do 10 minutes not 5. It worked out yesterday. I managed to keep going, to keep writing for the full 10 minutes. I posted that crazy thing yesterday without much of a second glance and (goodness) any editing. I haven't had the time to really read through it again with much focus but the one time I did read it, it wasn't too bad.
The ten minutes was my way of giving myself an out. I mean, the only logical reason I wasn't taking the time to spend on this anyway was because of the fears that well up whenever you think you can't do something. By making myself do this for 10 minutes was an easy way to tell myself, "I told you so," when I didn't do it. I would become the self-fulfilling prophesy of my inner voice that tells me I can't. Do you see how I can set myself up for failing? That voice lies constantly and yet how much attention is always given to it. If a real person was constantly telling me the same things I would have walked away from them a long, long time ago. But this voice isn't as easy to walk away from. Or is it? Doesn't it really take the same amount of courage to walk away from those inner voices you know are lies as it does to a real life person.
Oh, listen. That 10 minutes alarm is going off already! Success, two days in a row.
TT
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
10 not 5
I've just set a timer for 10 minutes. It's supposed to be a way to
get your incentive going. The idea is you aren't doing something because of all
the many reasons you have for not doing it so doing it for a short time will show you how to get started. So many times the main reason you
don't get going on what you want to do is because you don't have time. You go
to great lengths to make that a feasible excuse. Even when you know you have
time you will sometimes rearrange the things in your life and find out,
"Oh look. No time." Point that rigidly straight index finger down at
that trim wrist. "See." Shrug.
So I've come across yet another piece of
information that explains all the things I already know about this. It
suggested you sit down and do whatever it is you are not getting done for five
minutes. Just five minutes. You have that much time. You can do it. Do this every
day until you get past the idea and excuse for not doing it. It’s only five
minutes a day.
So, I've decided to give myself a built-in excuse for why this won’t
work. I went for 10 minutes. Sure. I knew what I was up to and doing. I knew
there was the possibility of there being a reason behind only five minutes. You
might actually be able to do five
minutes. And when you finish, you get to jump up and celebrate and feel good
and say, Yeah! I can do this. I can check this off my list! I did this today, I
can do it again tomorrow, and then instead of having days in a row of nothing,
I will have an accumulation of daily five minutes concentrated on this
thing.
So in order to give my inner self a way to
get out of this really working, I set the timer for 10 minutes. I doubled the
time in the suggested article. One of the many I read and think why should I read
another article about this? I already know what they say. I've already scanned
the universe and the even bigger internet of all those articles. I already know
the plotting points to get myself to get up, go, and do. And then something
happens.
TT
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Take the initiative
I've been procrastinating for so long I think I've become very good at it. It's the exact opposite of what I was going for, but isn't that always the case when you convince yourself you will never succeed at something? You do the exact things you shouldn't, so you can prove to yourself it could never happen. You prove that it isn't worth the time, the work, the efforts, because it will never happen. By doing nothing, you've saved yourself all that time and work and hurt feelings. You should be rejoicing that you made the right decision to not tackle that thing you can't possibly accomplish because, well, you haven't and you never will.
Then why, if you've made such a great decision, do you still think about it? Why do you still ponder away on this idea and that idea, still gather information, and try to absorb every thing you can about it? It might be because you think you really can do it, but you've gotten really good at finding ways to not do it. You've become the expert at all those other things and those things become the accomplishment. You know it isn't. You know you are just hiding behind that comfortable barrier of feelings. So what do you do?
The obvious thing would be to stop doing what you've been doing and start the actual work of what it is you want to do. It's easy to say, not so easy to do. That means change, that means doing something that you've already decided is uncomfortable, something you are unsure of doing. That means testing those feelings of thinking you can't and still pressing on, and ignoring them. All those things that have been so comfortable doing need to stop, and replaced with only the one thing you need to do to get going. As an example, it would mean, stop buying running gear and just go for a run instead. Stop reading about writing and just pull out your project and write on it. Concentrate on the story at hand without letting all the other things become a distraction or a way to procrastinate. Ah, there it is, procrastination. That thing I have become so good at doing. The thing I have allowed myself to carry around like a security blanket as a way of getting myself out of doing what I know I should be doing. That thing that keeps me safe from the fear and the failure because I've been doing everything I should or want to do to avoid it so I don't mess it up.
It takes a first step to start or continue on any journey. Walking around in tight circles is sort of ridiculous. It's time to look up, smile, and start walking ahead. Don't forget to smile, because you have to remember, it's something you want to do. Deep down inside, even when you keep trying to tell yourself you can't, there is something there that makes you feel otherwise or you wouldn't still be thinking about doing it. Take the initiative to do it. Go on and stop worrying about how it will turn out and give yourself permission to mess it up!
At least then, you will have given yourself the push to take the next step.
TT
Then why, if you've made such a great decision, do you still think about it? Why do you still ponder away on this idea and that idea, still gather information, and try to absorb every thing you can about it? It might be because you think you really can do it, but you've gotten really good at finding ways to not do it. You've become the expert at all those other things and those things become the accomplishment. You know it isn't. You know you are just hiding behind that comfortable barrier of feelings. So what do you do?
The obvious thing would be to stop doing what you've been doing and start the actual work of what it is you want to do. It's easy to say, not so easy to do. That means change, that means doing something that you've already decided is uncomfortable, something you are unsure of doing. That means testing those feelings of thinking you can't and still pressing on, and ignoring them. All those things that have been so comfortable doing need to stop, and replaced with only the one thing you need to do to get going. As an example, it would mean, stop buying running gear and just go for a run instead. Stop reading about writing and just pull out your project and write on it. Concentrate on the story at hand without letting all the other things become a distraction or a way to procrastinate. Ah, there it is, procrastination. That thing I have become so good at doing. The thing I have allowed myself to carry around like a security blanket as a way of getting myself out of doing what I know I should be doing. That thing that keeps me safe from the fear and the failure because I've been doing everything I should or want to do to avoid it so I don't mess it up.
It takes a first step to start or continue on any journey. Walking around in tight circles is sort of ridiculous. It's time to look up, smile, and start walking ahead. Don't forget to smile, because you have to remember, it's something you want to do. Deep down inside, even when you keep trying to tell yourself you can't, there is something there that makes you feel otherwise or you wouldn't still be thinking about doing it. Take the initiative to do it. Go on and stop worrying about how it will turn out and give yourself permission to mess it up!
At least then, you will have given yourself the push to take the next step.
TT
Monday, November 2, 2015
All Souls
Here it goes.
Take a moment today before the whirlwind of holidays and events sweeps you up into it's vortex. We've gotten through a rush of Halloween activities. They were some of the best days with time spent working toward making the moments meaningful and something we all will remember in our own ways. Now with the weather making its turn toward cooler temperatures it pushes us into the coming holidays, Thanksgiving, birthdays, Christmas, and the end of this year.
Before we get pulled headlong into the events that are destined to come our way, take a moment and give a thought to the ones we no longer have here with us. Think about the good things they showed us. Pause and remember those good times and reflect on what makes us grin because of who they were and how they gave us something, so much. Remember the simple things, like the way that memory makes me smile when it wasn't more that a whisper of a thought.
Happy All Souls Day!
TT
Take a moment today before the whirlwind of holidays and events sweeps you up into it's vortex. We've gotten through a rush of Halloween activities. They were some of the best days with time spent working toward making the moments meaningful and something we all will remember in our own ways. Now with the weather making its turn toward cooler temperatures it pushes us into the coming holidays, Thanksgiving, birthdays, Christmas, and the end of this year.
Before we get pulled headlong into the events that are destined to come our way, take a moment and give a thought to the ones we no longer have here with us. Think about the good things they showed us. Pause and remember those good times and reflect on what makes us grin because of who they were and how they gave us something, so much. Remember the simple things, like the way that memory makes me smile when it wasn't more that a whisper of a thought.
Happy All Souls Day!
TT
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Pumpkin
Let's take care of that little pie pumpkin. He went over well as a part of my chips and guacamole centerpiece the other night but this morning after Halloween it's time to give him double duty.
We needed a sharp knife and let's cut him up! Into the oven to roast and toast up those seeds.
After it was all cooled, we bake up a bread with walnuts and oh, oh, oh.
And last night? With all the ghoals and gobins out and about we had a fine old time. Just look...
What a scary bunch! BOO!
Happy All Saints Day
TT
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