Along with the long three-day weekend I was able to get out and run those three days. I managed to rip myself out of bed this morning to have a fourth. I don't want to talk it up too much since I haven't been very consistent latey but it was feeling good. I don't particularly like to run that early, before having to go to work, but here I am done with a run, showered and that makes four runs in a row. It's not too bad a way to end May.
I have another scenario in mind. It popped into my head when I was trying to think of a cooking show I had seen but couldn't recall the name. I remembered later that it was the four coursemen, having to do with the different entrees they made for a dinner party. I kept thinking the four horsemen (of course - that was their play on words). So now my next scenario has to spring from the idea of The Four Horsemen. Great.
Four runs, four horsemen...What am I thinking?
TT
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Scenario: Train station
I am really challenging myself with my next scenario. I came up with the idea of Train Station. That has stuck in my head and I can't shake it loose, so now I am stuck with coming up with something. My problem is I know nothing about Train Stations except what I might have seen in a movie or read about in fiction. I have never been on a train, or bought a ticket at a station. Let's see what I can do...
---
The young real estate agent watched as the custodian flipped through a number of keys on his chain finally fitting one into the massive door. His hand was large but wrinkled with age spots and she guessed he must be in his late sixties. He took a while to get the key working and she thought maybe she shouldn't have tried to fit this stop in before her big afternoon meeting with her biggest client. He wasn't exactly her client yet but she was determined to get his business and thought she had found a few places that would fit into his plan of finding a location for a special events center. She knew she had the morning and didn't think checking this old place out would take long. It might be something she could show later or not at all. She was always checking.
The custodian finally pushed the solid wood door open and led her into the old train station. The musty smell accosted her first along with swirling dust caught in streams of light coming in from small portions of the windows. The light was barely escaping from the areas that had been left uncovered by ill-fitting plywood that had been placed over them. The space was dark and covered in cobwebs. She didn't think this was anything she was looking for. She was about say she had seen enough and turned to the custodian. He was looking up at the high ceiling and smiling. She followed his gaze to the old iron gridded ticket area and massive double archway. It was boarded up as well with spray painted X's across each piece. There were some bench seating needing repair and the entire area was much larger than it had looked from the outside.
"It's been a long time," he said still gazing at the large room.
"You know this place?" she asked.
"Sure do. Happy time when I walked through that archway," he pointed to the red X's. She looked at him again and saw he was still looking around and smiling.
"What's the big deal?"
He looked at her and the smile was gone from his face. He said a little gruffly, "The big deal? Don't you see?" He put out both arms and pointed to the archway. "The trains pulled in right outside there. This was where we came through to start our new beginnings." He turned and pointed to the ticket area. "Or we got our tickets and said goodbye." He seemed to be getting a little riled and it made her nervous.
He must have realized his outburst and dropped his hands to his side and smiled down at the wood floor. He shook his head, "Don't mind me. I guess I see this place different."
She watched him with curiosity. She took another look at the high ceilings. It would take some work but the structure was still quite amazing. There were beautiful crown moldings and interior trims still intact. There were chair railings across the entire length of the wall with the bench seating. She glanced back at the ticket area. It looked to be constructed of solid wood and the iron work was interesting and intricate.
She began to picture movement as it might have been. She began to see the crowds of different people walking the lengths to the ticket booth and standing in line. They would be checking their watches and holding their bags. There were young men hugging young girls that tried to hold back tears as they parted. There were families rushing forward as they saw their loved ones coming toward them through the archway. There were memories circling the entire length of the room. There were journeys that were ending and always just beginning again.
This old train station had so many memories locked away, she thought. It would have been easy to pass it over as a dirty mess but what better place to continue creating more memories?
She looked back at the ticket booths. It could serve as a great buffet and bar area. Some of the iron work would need to be removed and possibly used in another spot but she was sure it would work. The double archway would serve as a perfect focal point and who could ask more than these wood floors? She was beginning to see where this could be her best option for her newest potential client. She was sure she could bring him over to see what a great special event center this could be. She could see the place as the custodian had said - differently - as a place where new journeys began. Wasn't that what special events were?
She took a few steps and turned to the custodian and said, "Would you be available again this afternoon?" She grinned at him, "I think I might have someone that could also see this place as something different."
TT
---
The young real estate agent watched as the custodian flipped through a number of keys on his chain finally fitting one into the massive door. His hand was large but wrinkled with age spots and she guessed he must be in his late sixties. He took a while to get the key working and she thought maybe she shouldn't have tried to fit this stop in before her big afternoon meeting with her biggest client. He wasn't exactly her client yet but she was determined to get his business and thought she had found a few places that would fit into his plan of finding a location for a special events center. She knew she had the morning and didn't think checking this old place out would take long. It might be something she could show later or not at all. She was always checking.
The custodian finally pushed the solid wood door open and led her into the old train station. The musty smell accosted her first along with swirling dust caught in streams of light coming in from small portions of the windows. The light was barely escaping from the areas that had been left uncovered by ill-fitting plywood that had been placed over them. The space was dark and covered in cobwebs. She didn't think this was anything she was looking for. She was about say she had seen enough and turned to the custodian. He was looking up at the high ceiling and smiling. She followed his gaze to the old iron gridded ticket area and massive double archway. It was boarded up as well with spray painted X's across each piece. There were some bench seating needing repair and the entire area was much larger than it had looked from the outside.
"It's been a long time," he said still gazing at the large room.
"You know this place?" she asked.
"Sure do. Happy time when I walked through that archway," he pointed to the red X's. She looked at him again and saw he was still looking around and smiling.
"What's the big deal?"
He looked at her and the smile was gone from his face. He said a little gruffly, "The big deal? Don't you see?" He put out both arms and pointed to the archway. "The trains pulled in right outside there. This was where we came through to start our new beginnings." He turned and pointed to the ticket area. "Or we got our tickets and said goodbye." He seemed to be getting a little riled and it made her nervous.
He must have realized his outburst and dropped his hands to his side and smiled down at the wood floor. He shook his head, "Don't mind me. I guess I see this place different."
She watched him with curiosity. She took another look at the high ceilings. It would take some work but the structure was still quite amazing. There were beautiful crown moldings and interior trims still intact. There were chair railings across the entire length of the wall with the bench seating. She glanced back at the ticket area. It looked to be constructed of solid wood and the iron work was interesting and intricate.
She began to picture movement as it might have been. She began to see the crowds of different people walking the lengths to the ticket booth and standing in line. They would be checking their watches and holding their bags. There were young men hugging young girls that tried to hold back tears as they parted. There were families rushing forward as they saw their loved ones coming toward them through the archway. There were memories circling the entire length of the room. There were journeys that were ending and always just beginning again.
This old train station had so many memories locked away, she thought. It would have been easy to pass it over as a dirty mess but what better place to continue creating more memories?
She looked back at the ticket booths. It could serve as a great buffet and bar area. Some of the iron work would need to be removed and possibly used in another spot but she was sure it would work. The double archway would serve as a perfect focal point and who could ask more than these wood floors? She was beginning to see where this could be her best option for her newest potential client. She was sure she could bring him over to see what a great special event center this could be. She could see the place as the custodian had said - differently - as a place where new journeys began. Wasn't that what special events were?
She took a few steps and turned to the custodian and said, "Would you be available again this afternoon?" She grinned at him, "I think I might have someone that could also see this place as something different."
TT
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Scenario: Encounter with a stranger
Here is another impromtu write up of another scenario. What if there is a chance encounter between two strangers? Okay, there is the idea - where do I take it? Where are these people and who do they encounter? Male meets female, other way around, or what if...
---
Both women reached for the dress hanger at the same time. Neither had noticed the other beforehand and both flinchingly pulled their hands away as they realized their fists might collide. The surprise and polite smiles registered on both faces. "Sorry - you go ahead," they both spoke over each other. Sandy looked down with a smile of embarrassment as Tracie watched.
They were both blond, about the same height and definitely the same size. Sandy finally looked up and offered the dress to Tracie. "You go ahead," she said shyly. I can look around for something else.
"I appreciate that," replied Tracie. "I have a special date tonight and I think this would be perfect. New guy," Tracie winked. Tracie took the hanger and held the dress up against her body looking down at it and then up at Sandy. "What do you think? She asked.
Sandy looked back and nodded, "Nice." Tracie looked down again and went on excitedly, "Our third date and is he very dreamy." Tracie folded the dress over her arm and kept talking. Sandy politely stood and listened. "I mean, this is going somewhere tonight, you know what I mean?"
Sandy just politely nodded. It was more information than she was expecting from a stranger but she didn't want to be rude. How much longer could she go on anyway?
Tracie then put her hand on Sandy's shoulder and almost held her captive. "I couldn't believe when he asked me out to that new restaurant, the fancy French one that just opened."
"The Martinique?" Sandy suggested.
Tracie's eyes went wide and almost squealed, "That's it! Have you been there?"
"Um, yes. It's very good. I went there with my boyfriend."
"Oh, he must have the same good taste as my guy. He said he had been there once before and it was spectacular."
"It was very good," Sandy agreed.
"So you must be going somewhere great." She lifted the dress slightly. "You were picking the same dress right?"
Sandy sighed and thought a moment. In an instant she thought it couldn't hurt to admit it to a stranger. "Well, things have been a little off with us lately. I thought if I found something new and suggested we go somewhere nice it would help. I have to say John is pretty dreamy too. He was always taking me out but, like I said, things seem a little off lately."
"John? Your guy is John? Mine, too. How about that."
Sandy tried to let the thought pass through her mind but it was sticking. She moved her head to one side and asked, "You’re going out tonight?" Sandy thought of her John saying he had some late work to finish tonight and was really tired.
"Yes. He's been really busy but called me up last minute for tonight."
Sandy nodded. "Do you mind if I ask what he looks like?"
"Not at all! He is so good looking. He has dark hair, these smoky gray eyes and tall. He said he works as an Insurance adjuster and poor guy - he just broke up with some girl. He was really upset about it. She seemed really needy and clingy. I think he said her name was Stacy or something like that."
"Oh. Stacy. Do you think it might have been...? Oh never mind."
Tracie folded both arms over the dress and bent forward toward Sandy. "What. What were you going to ask?"
"Nothing. It's crazy. My boyfriend works as an adjuster but you said he had an ex-girlfriend named Stacy."
Tracie stopped and stared off in space for a while then looked at Sandy. "I think he told me Stacy but maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was Shirley or," she was in mid thought when Sandy said.
"Could it have been Sandy?"
"That's it! Sandy. I remember now."
They stood looking at each other for a brief moment before one woman held her hand out to the other.
"Hi. Let me introduce myself. My name is Sandy."
TT
---
Both women reached for the dress hanger at the same time. Neither had noticed the other beforehand and both flinchingly pulled their hands away as they realized their fists might collide. The surprise and polite smiles registered on both faces. "Sorry - you go ahead," they both spoke over each other. Sandy looked down with a smile of embarrassment as Tracie watched.
They were both blond, about the same height and definitely the same size. Sandy finally looked up and offered the dress to Tracie. "You go ahead," she said shyly. I can look around for something else.
"I appreciate that," replied Tracie. "I have a special date tonight and I think this would be perfect. New guy," Tracie winked. Tracie took the hanger and held the dress up against her body looking down at it and then up at Sandy. "What do you think? She asked.
Sandy looked back and nodded, "Nice." Tracie looked down again and went on excitedly, "Our third date and is he very dreamy." Tracie folded the dress over her arm and kept talking. Sandy politely stood and listened. "I mean, this is going somewhere tonight, you know what I mean?"
Sandy just politely nodded. It was more information than she was expecting from a stranger but she didn't want to be rude. How much longer could she go on anyway?
Tracie then put her hand on Sandy's shoulder and almost held her captive. "I couldn't believe when he asked me out to that new restaurant, the fancy French one that just opened."
"The Martinique?" Sandy suggested.
Tracie's eyes went wide and almost squealed, "That's it! Have you been there?"
"Um, yes. It's very good. I went there with my boyfriend."
"Oh, he must have the same good taste as my guy. He said he had been there once before and it was spectacular."
"It was very good," Sandy agreed.
"So you must be going somewhere great." She lifted the dress slightly. "You were picking the same dress right?"
Sandy sighed and thought a moment. In an instant she thought it couldn't hurt to admit it to a stranger. "Well, things have been a little off with us lately. I thought if I found something new and suggested we go somewhere nice it would help. I have to say John is pretty dreamy too. He was always taking me out but, like I said, things seem a little off lately."
"John? Your guy is John? Mine, too. How about that."
Sandy tried to let the thought pass through her mind but it was sticking. She moved her head to one side and asked, "You’re going out tonight?" Sandy thought of her John saying he had some late work to finish tonight and was really tired.
"Yes. He's been really busy but called me up last minute for tonight."
Sandy nodded. "Do you mind if I ask what he looks like?"
"Not at all! He is so good looking. He has dark hair, these smoky gray eyes and tall. He said he works as an Insurance adjuster and poor guy - he just broke up with some girl. He was really upset about it. She seemed really needy and clingy. I think he said her name was Stacy or something like that."
"Oh. Stacy. Do you think it might have been...? Oh never mind."
Tracie folded both arms over the dress and bent forward toward Sandy. "What. What were you going to ask?"
"Nothing. It's crazy. My boyfriend works as an adjuster but you said he had an ex-girlfriend named Stacy."
Tracie stopped and stared off in space for a while then looked at Sandy. "I think he told me Stacy but maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was Shirley or," she was in mid thought when Sandy said.
"Could it have been Sandy?"
"That's it! Sandy. I remember now."
They stood looking at each other for a brief moment before one woman held her hand out to the other.
"Hi. Let me introduce myself. My name is Sandy."
TT
Friday, May 27, 2011
Scenario: Man in bed
After coming up with a scenario yesterday (Corner Store) and writing it up impromptu, I thought what if I try another scenario and do the same? It was just to be a thought, nothing thought up and sorry, don't blame me, it means nothing but I thought...man in bed. That's my scenario...come up with something. So I tried...
---
---
He switched off his bedroom light as he entered. He was exhausted and knew he wouldn’t want to get up again to turn the light off. It was a short trip to the bed from the doorway and he was familiar with the gray shadows that sprang up when the light was removed. He told himself they didn’t bother him and he was trying to learn his way around them.
He dropped down to sit on the bed and it heaved under his weight. He bent at the waist with his shoulders slumped and hung his tired head in his hands. After a moment he reached down and flipped off his shoes with a push down to the back, first one, and then the other. He let them bounce on the floor as he peeled off his socks and left them where they dropped. He stretched out on the bed and used one arm to pull the tangled sheets that were in a mass from under his back. He tried to smooth them out as best he could without getting up and that’s when he turned his head to the empty spot beside him. He tenderly reached out his arm with his palm down and smoothed the spot as far as he could reach but his eyes never left the pillow beside his. It had been empty for more than two weeks now. She had been gone that long.
He rolled over to the other side and braced himself up with one bent arm. He reached with the other to the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand. He shook one out, placed it between his lips and lit it with one hand before rolling back down on his back. He took a deep drag and let it fill him up. He held it there as he stared up at the ceiling until he finally blew it out and the smoke mingled with the shadows. He held the cigarette between his fingers on his hand closest the nightstand. He had moved an ashtray there some nights back so he didn’t have to get up. He smirked as he brought the cigarette back to his mouth for another hit. This wouldn’t be going on if she was here, he thought. He took another long drag and the smirk disappeared from his face. But she wasn’t there. She hadn’t been there. He sighed as the smoke escaped and then reached over to snub the cigarette out. He crushed the red tip and continued dabbing it into the ashtray until it split. He was exhausted. He laid there on his back staring at the ceiling not knowing what he was supposed to do anymore. He reached out again to feel the empty space beside him. It was becoming a bad habit, like the smoking. It would need to change. He knew he couldn’t go on like this.
He laid there in the dark, that night added to the others, staring at the ceiling wishing for sleep, for peace. He finally closed his eyes as a single tear slid down the side of his face. She was too young to die.
TT
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Corner store
It can get hard when I feel as if I've reached a time that I need to search for inspiration. It isn't a bad thing but it is one of those things that I know I want, I don't mind trying to find it, but it's not something I can go to the corner store and pick up.
I am a creature of routine. I get up early, I have coffee, I go to work, I come home, I read, I go to bed early so I can get up early the next morning. That is what I do and it's comfortable. The problem is getting too comfortable and being too routine doesn't lead to inspiration. I can only get so much inspiration from my own head and I think that is a pit I have fallen into lately (or it's just a pitfall). I need to get out and change things, even if only slightly, to give myself an opportunity for new inspiration. I need to change up the routine or deviate slightly so I can see some new things or some old things again in a new way.
I know it wouldn't take much since I've always managed to have a different slant on most things than others would. I don't have any problems in the imagination department. If you give me a scenario I can probably come up with three or four different variations on why it happened and which way it could go. The problem lately is that it has just gotten hard to come up with the scenarios.
So, I don't know, maybe that could be the scenario...she was just going to make a quick stop at the corner store...
...
She was just going to make a quick stop at the corner store. She knew she was running late but thought the few minutes stopping to get a coffee would be worth the extra time in the long run. She needed the caffeine. She had been working late hours and was having a hard time getting a clear head. She knew the jolt would put her back on track and things would move along more smoothly if she could just get a cup of coffee.
She circled the parking lot and had to pull into the last slot farthest from the door. She stopped the car and reached across to pull her purse off the passenger's seat. She leaned back in the other direction, pushed open the door and was nearly choked by the shoulder strap of her safety belt. She kept her head down and unsnapped it quickly and got out of the car. She didn't think anyone had seen her try to strangle herself so she made her way to the store. A young man in jeans and an oversized tee shirt propped the door open for her as he held two plastic bags of purchased items while making his way out. She didn't realize he had already moved away and let go of the door until it nearly hit her in the back. She was able to avoid impact by hopping forward on both feet just as she made it inside the store and it slammed shut.
She recovered quickly and made her way directly to the coffee counter. The scent filled her with anticipation and she didn't notice the line of people ahead of her until she practically stumbled over a short woman that glared at her as she went to pull a cup from the dispenser.
...
No. I didn't go to the corner store. I sat right here and the above came out. I could go on but I don't think I am having problems in the imagination department. And actually, yes, I guess I can get some inspiration at the corner store. It is just a matter of keeping my eyes open to the possibilities.
TT
I am a creature of routine. I get up early, I have coffee, I go to work, I come home, I read, I go to bed early so I can get up early the next morning. That is what I do and it's comfortable. The problem is getting too comfortable and being too routine doesn't lead to inspiration. I can only get so much inspiration from my own head and I think that is a pit I have fallen into lately (or it's just a pitfall). I need to get out and change things, even if only slightly, to give myself an opportunity for new inspiration. I need to change up the routine or deviate slightly so I can see some new things or some old things again in a new way.
I know it wouldn't take much since I've always managed to have a different slant on most things than others would. I don't have any problems in the imagination department. If you give me a scenario I can probably come up with three or four different variations on why it happened and which way it could go. The problem lately is that it has just gotten hard to come up with the scenarios.
So, I don't know, maybe that could be the scenario...she was just going to make a quick stop at the corner store...
...
She was just going to make a quick stop at the corner store. She knew she was running late but thought the few minutes stopping to get a coffee would be worth the extra time in the long run. She needed the caffeine. She had been working late hours and was having a hard time getting a clear head. She knew the jolt would put her back on track and things would move along more smoothly if she could just get a cup of coffee.
She circled the parking lot and had to pull into the last slot farthest from the door. She stopped the car and reached across to pull her purse off the passenger's seat. She leaned back in the other direction, pushed open the door and was nearly choked by the shoulder strap of her safety belt. She kept her head down and unsnapped it quickly and got out of the car. She didn't think anyone had seen her try to strangle herself so she made her way to the store. A young man in jeans and an oversized tee shirt propped the door open for her as he held two plastic bags of purchased items while making his way out. She didn't realize he had already moved away and let go of the door until it nearly hit her in the back. She was able to avoid impact by hopping forward on both feet just as she made it inside the store and it slammed shut.
She recovered quickly and made her way directly to the coffee counter. The scent filled her with anticipation and she didn't notice the line of people ahead of her until she practically stumbled over a short woman that glared at her as she went to pull a cup from the dispenser.
...
No. I didn't go to the corner store. I sat right here and the above came out. I could go on but I don't think I am having problems in the imagination department. And actually, yes, I guess I can get some inspiration at the corner store. It is just a matter of keeping my eyes open to the possibilities.
TT
On purpose?
I have purposely been writing inanities. I have allowed myself to put any single thought down and go with it. What has resulted have been senseless stutterings and descriptions of situations that have no real intelligence and little meaning for any reader to understand. They are nothing more than silly foolishness that I wrote down.
I would have stopped but I was getting a pretty good feel of how I could create an idea of doubt for the narrators (fill in the blanks): sanity, intelligence, seriousness, credibility.
Does it bother me that since I seem to be the narrator that someone might be thinking these fill-in-the-blank options are about me? No. Simply no. Not at all.
People will think what people will think no matter what. I have no control over their real-life perceptions of me or who anyone else is or will be. Unless, of course, I can get them to believe I am something else by my actions or what I say. It's a pretty good tool if I am able to do that with fiction charactors. So I have been allowing myself to go with writing inanities.
Now - if it was truly on purpose or not? Well, that is still under discussion.
TT
I would have stopped but I was getting a pretty good feel of how I could create an idea of doubt for the narrators (fill in the blanks): sanity, intelligence, seriousness, credibility.
Does it bother me that since I seem to be the narrator that someone might be thinking these fill-in-the-blank options are about me? No. Simply no. Not at all.
People will think what people will think no matter what. I have no control over their real-life perceptions of me or who anyone else is or will be. Unless, of course, I can get them to believe I am something else by my actions or what I say. It's a pretty good tool if I am able to do that with fiction charactors. So I have been allowing myself to go with writing inanities.
Now - if it was truly on purpose or not? Well, that is still under discussion.
TT
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Definition of lunatic
Jay called me a lunatic. No. In all honesty he did not come right out and say that. He said I was insane or that what I wrote the past two days must have been written by an insane person. That it was insanity. And then in the middle of me trying to defend myself he asked me if I knew the definition of a lunatic. That sort of stopped me from any type of argument I might have been able to come up with.
But that is almost calling me one, isn't it? Not that it matters. I didn't really take offense, in fact, I was kind of glad he had read the two posts and had any opinion at all. But that might just be what a lunatic would think, though. Maybe. That instead of seeing the insanity of my actions I am just glad there was someone that was willing to read what I wrote no matter how insane. Maybe he didn't have the best of reactions but he had a reaction and an opinion just the same. So maybe I am just concentrating too much on the tree and not the forest. I mean, maybe I am concentrating too much on having any reaction because it's better than no reaction at all.
Now that's insane.
I wonder if you are a truly a lunatic would you know it?
Yeah. I know it.
That's why I didn't really take offense.
TT
But that is almost calling me one, isn't it? Not that it matters. I didn't really take offense, in fact, I was kind of glad he had read the two posts and had any opinion at all. But that might just be what a lunatic would think, though. Maybe. That instead of seeing the insanity of my actions I am just glad there was someone that was willing to read what I wrote no matter how insane. Maybe he didn't have the best of reactions but he had a reaction and an opinion just the same. So maybe I am just concentrating too much on the tree and not the forest. I mean, maybe I am concentrating too much on having any reaction because it's better than no reaction at all.
Now that's insane.
I wonder if you are a truly a lunatic would you know it?
Yeah. I know it.
That's why I didn't really take offense.
TT
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
More or less
I started reading one of my posts about music. At least I thought it was about music. I had started out talking about music but then I made my way into running. It was about music that I ended up running to. But then I stopped listening to the music I was running to when the device malfunctioned and I fell. So it was about music and running and falling.
It wasn't too much about falling. Not as much as music or running. I only fell the once...in that post. I've fallen more but that wasn't what it was mostly about. So then I stopped reading my post and clicked the next blog on the nav bar to see what other blogs I could read. Guess what the next blog was about.
It was about running. But no falling. Then the next one and the next one after that and the next one after that was about running. All these bloggers had a theme and a topic and if you went there you knew you would read something about running.
Not so much like mine. Where you might think you are reading something about music but it turns into running or falling. Or sometimes refurbishing footstools, or baking or the weather or writing or being foolish and admitting it. There's more. I write about all that and more than that. I think sometimes I should write about less.
Maybe I should just write less. Or read less or run less or bake less.
Do I have to pick one? If I do, maybe I should just fall less.
TT
It wasn't too much about falling. Not as much as music or running. I only fell the once...in that post. I've fallen more but that wasn't what it was mostly about. So then I stopped reading my post and clicked the next blog on the nav bar to see what other blogs I could read. Guess what the next blog was about.
It was about running. But no falling. Then the next one and the next one after that and the next one after that was about running. All these bloggers had a theme and a topic and if you went there you knew you would read something about running.
Not so much like mine. Where you might think you are reading something about music but it turns into running or falling. Or sometimes refurbishing footstools, or baking or the weather or writing or being foolish and admitting it. There's more. I write about all that and more than that. I think sometimes I should write about less.
Maybe I should just write less. Or read less or run less or bake less.
Do I have to pick one? If I do, maybe I should just fall less.
TT
Monday, May 23, 2011
Distracted
I am supposed to be checking and balancing my checkbook but I got distracted and started reading back some of my own posts. Uooohhff! Careful, it can make me shudder! Yikes, gads, don't be reading these things...it's a minefield. One wrong step and that's it...blown to smithereens.
At least that is what happens sometimes when I read some of these. It isn't always the case but you can certainly tell when I have forgotten to clean and put away my tool that is my blog. Whoops...left it out too long that time, didn't sharpen it enough there.
Then occasionally, by mistake, I'll come across one that goes...well, nice. Not too bad that one. That turned out rather okay.
But wait...I'm supposed to be taking a look at my checkbook. Now, talk about a minefield.
TT
At least that is what happens sometimes when I read some of these. It isn't always the case but you can certainly tell when I have forgotten to clean and put away my tool that is my blog. Whoops...left it out too long that time, didn't sharpen it enough there.
Then occasionally, by mistake, I'll come across one that goes...well, nice. Not too bad that one. That turned out rather okay.
But wait...I'm supposed to be taking a look at my checkbook. Now, talk about a minefield.
TT
Footstool
I had been sitting in the extra chair I have in my workroom upstairs away from my desk and laptop. I had taken a break and was just relaxing a few moments before I got up and got going again. While I sat I realized how much more comfortable it would be if I had an ottoman to prop my feet up a bit. I knew anything that large would eat up space in my workroom but then I thought...what if.
I remembered an old inexpensive piece I purchased ages ago. It was downstairs and not serving any purpose. I'm not sure how it even ended up where it was for so long so I took the old footstool and refurbished it yesterday.
During lunch I mentioned to Jay, "I don't remember why or when we bought that footstool."
He replied, "I don't remember why but I remember when."
I waited for him to finish and tell me when we bought it. He didn't continue so after a few moments I asked, "Are you going to keep it a secret or are you going to tell me when?"
"When what?"
"When we bought the footstool. You said you remembered when we bought it."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did. You said you didn't remember why but you remembered when."
"Oh, I made a mistake. But I remember we bought the footstool and a magazine rack."
Okay, I thought, it was lunchtime and I knew hunger might have been blocking thought processes for him. But then he went on to say, "We were remodeling but didn't have a lot of money."
"If we didn't have a lot of money why did we buy a footstool and a magazine rack?"
"That was all we could afford."
It did sound like something we would do ages ago - crazy as it might seem. So wherever or whenever we purchased the small inexpensive footstool, it is now in a place that it will be of more use. I also know that lunch isn't the place I should be trying to get information from Jay. At least not before he has had a chance to eat.
TT
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Sunday, May 22, 2011
End of day
I had gone outside to sit after I had gone through my Saturday.
TT
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Weather report
The weather had become oppressive. The sky was coated with a gray metal armor granting no access to penetration. There were surrounding shadows of darker gray patterned across various areas of the faintest rose. It was as if a cheek and palms were trying to push through the darkened barrier, squeezed up against the glass wall the sky had become. It prevented the air from moving and what was trapped below had turned thick and suffocating. The moisture that dripped randomly only mocked the relief that would have come if only the sky would open up and release its liquid bounty.
Man…is it ever humid out this morning! Too bad it won’t actually rain.
It wouldn’t happen. It would continue to repress its riches and afflict the morning with strong gray guards standing firm against any change. There would be no relief this day, at least not this morning.
Man…is it ever humid out this morning! Too bad it won’t actually rain.
TT
Friday, May 20, 2011
Plans or lack of
No matter how long this week originally seemed to be, here it is Friday. In just a few more hours it will be officially my weekend. I say that like I have some grand plans that I have been looking forward to. The fact is I don't have a single thing planned. But then, for me, that is always a good plan.
Oh yeah, sure, there are always things that need to be done, that I have in the back of my mind I should do, routine things. But I don't have anything as far as something definite that would take me away from those routine things type of plan. The definite, take me away things, don't seem to happen until I'm in the middle of doing them.
I guess I don't plan those. They spring to mind as my off-days unfurl. I might think slightly ahead but not so much. It works more along the lines of the things I need to do, the things I want to do, the things I feel like doing get a good swirl in my head. I get to pick and choose from those. Or if someone calls and decides it might be good for me to do something else I can easily shift gears and do that instead.
So I have a few hours before I can call it an official weekend.
Have any plans?
TT
Oh yeah, sure, there are always things that need to be done, that I have in the back of my mind I should do, routine things. But I don't have anything as far as something definite that would take me away from those routine things type of plan. The definite, take me away things, don't seem to happen until I'm in the middle of doing them.
I guess I don't plan those. They spring to mind as my off-days unfurl. I might think slightly ahead but not so much. It works more along the lines of the things I need to do, the things I want to do, the things I feel like doing get a good swirl in my head. I get to pick and choose from those. Or if someone calls and decides it might be good for me to do something else I can easily shift gears and do that instead.
So I have a few hours before I can call it an official weekend.
Have any plans?
TT
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A phone by any other name
I let my cell phone spend last night on my desk at work. I guess I was in such a hurry to pack up my gear at quitting time that I left it there. It wasn't until I was home and went searching through my oversized purse that I realized I had left it. I made a good hard effort to find it in my purse. First I search by peering into it and using my hand to rummage through all the contents and pockets. When I couldn't find it that way I proceeded to remove each and every item it contained until it was almost entirely empty. Needless to say, the cell phone wasn't there and I knew I had left it on my desk at work. I knew that before I started to search the purse but that was something I just had to do since leaving my phone was something I would never do and I had.
It wasn't that big a deal. I didn't expect any calls and it was more trouble than it would be worth to drive back to work to get it. I didn't really need it.
Then I realized when I was turning in for the night that I was missing my cell phone. No. I hadn't forgotten I left it and decided that not having it would be fine. I realized I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. Oh bother. Luckily, I have a regular clock on my nightstand that is also an alarm. I set that for the time I usually have my cell phone alarm set and went to bed.
I woke up on my own the next morning, an hour late. I had set the alarm clock but failed to set the button so the alarm would go off. Cripes.
I managed to get to work and my cell phone was waiting for me on my desk. It was fine and still charged but I noticed something.
The cell phone alarm had gone off as usual. It had rung at the exact time I had set it for when it was too early for anyone to (thankfully) be around. I'm not sure what the moral of the story is supposed to be but, maybe, I guess, I don't know. Maybe a phone should just be a phone.
TT
It wasn't that big a deal. I didn't expect any calls and it was more trouble than it would be worth to drive back to work to get it. I didn't really need it.
Then I realized when I was turning in for the night that I was missing my cell phone. No. I hadn't forgotten I left it and decided that not having it would be fine. I realized I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. Oh bother. Luckily, I have a regular clock on my nightstand that is also an alarm. I set that for the time I usually have my cell phone alarm set and went to bed.
I woke up on my own the next morning, an hour late. I had set the alarm clock but failed to set the button so the alarm would go off. Cripes.
I managed to get to work and my cell phone was waiting for me on my desk. It was fine and still charged but I noticed something.
The cell phone alarm had gone off as usual. It had rung at the exact time I had set it for when it was too early for anyone to (thankfully) be around. I'm not sure what the moral of the story is supposed to be but, maybe, I guess, I don't know. Maybe a phone should just be a phone.
TT
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
How many?
I have this crazy idea that I want to finish my first draft of my entire fiction story by the end of June. Yes. The entire story in first draft form by the end of June. I am thinking that is a good idea. It seems like a good idea. It is such a good idea that if I wasn't in front of my laptop now I would be writing it down on an index card so I would remember this good idea and do something about it when I had time. It's a good think I AM in front of my laptop now and not writing it on an index card. I only say that since I have recently written ideas on index cards that I originally thought were good ideas but after re-reading them at a later date I found they weren't good ideas at all. I'm hoping this isn't the case.
But of course I couldn't leave it at that. Saying I would finish by the end of June doesn't mean I could finish it by the end of June. So. I started trying to make some type of statistical, mathematical problem out of how I could finish it in that amount of time.
I have more than 38,000 words so far written. I had researched fiction book lengths and most first attempts are approximately 70,000 words. That would mean I have less than 32,000 words to go to finish. I have about 6 weeks until the end of June.
Can you see what I am doing here? Yikes. I hate math, yet here I am putting it all down in numbers. So what does that come out to? That would be a little over 5000 words a week for six weeks. Now I am thinking it can't be done because the numbers are just too high. But then, what if I broke it down a little more? What if I broke down the number to five days a week and not the full 5000 number total for the week. Oh my. That would be about 1000 words a day, five days a week for six weeks. What if I miss a day? What if I miss two? What if I have a day I can't write more than 300? Will I be putting myself in a catch-up situation? Will it cause me to think too much about the amount of words and stop me from finding them when I need to come up with them? What if I can't creatively come up with all the words? What if I miss too many days and too many words and too many...
So, what if?
I have this crazy idea that I want to finish my first draft of my entire fiction story by the end of June. I know it's a crazy lot of numbers. But I am thinking that it is a good idea. It's a good idea to try. No matter what the number might be. I hate math.
But I love writing.
TT
But of course I couldn't leave it at that. Saying I would finish by the end of June doesn't mean I could finish it by the end of June. So. I started trying to make some type of statistical, mathematical problem out of how I could finish it in that amount of time.
I have more than 38,000 words so far written. I had researched fiction book lengths and most first attempts are approximately 70,000 words. That would mean I have less than 32,000 words to go to finish. I have about 6 weeks until the end of June.
Can you see what I am doing here? Yikes. I hate math, yet here I am putting it all down in numbers. So what does that come out to? That would be a little over 5000 words a week for six weeks. Now I am thinking it can't be done because the numbers are just too high. But then, what if I broke it down a little more? What if I broke down the number to five days a week and not the full 5000 number total for the week. Oh my. That would be about 1000 words a day, five days a week for six weeks. What if I miss a day? What if I miss two? What if I have a day I can't write more than 300? Will I be putting myself in a catch-up situation? Will it cause me to think too much about the amount of words and stop me from finding them when I need to come up with them? What if I can't creatively come up with all the words? What if I miss too many days and too many words and too many...
So, what if?
I have this crazy idea that I want to finish my first draft of my entire fiction story by the end of June. I know it's a crazy lot of numbers. But I am thinking that it is a good idea. It's a good idea to try. No matter what the number might be. I hate math.
But I love writing.
TT
Three in a row?
I woke up to a beautiful morning this past Sunday but I also woke up to a whole lot of ideas of things I needed to do and to change. I voiced my ideas to Jay and he agreed. Most of the things I was talking about are things that we both have thought about, yeah, should do that, but never seem to put any of it into action. Well, we started to figure out how to stop talking about it and start doing it.
It was a fairly busy Sunday without getting out of hand. Things went fairly easily and we actually got quite a few of these things we have been thinking about in place. One of the things we both needed to try harder at was getting back into some kind of exercise routine. But Jay doesn't exercise. I've tried to get him to walk and he will flatly turn me down. I'm not sure why I keep asking but I did and this time he said yes! Not only did he say yes but we worked out a three day a week plan!
We went out Sunday afternoon and he stopped at a area that was mostly soccer/baseball field. It was a good place to have a stroll so that is what we did.
Now I know this isn’t the intensity I would get if I went on my regular short runs but it’s really a whole lot more since I haven’t been doing that. Something is more than nothing, right? And I think that having someone else there to get me going was what both of us, not just me, might have needed. (I can dream, can’t I)?
So we started out and walked the length of the field and turned. We came upon an entrance to an area under construction that ran along a small creek.
It had the open weave orange construction tape on either side but it was obviously a walkway the city was working on. I approached it rather eagerly. Wow! Unknown territory! I was going for it. Then Jay said, “Wait!”
Sure enough, the no unauthorized personnel sign he was pointing to at my feet had been knocked down. I stared at it for a moment and turned to Jay. “It’s Sunday afternoon. No one is here working on it today.”
“So you want to be bad?”
“Yeah,” I said. Like Duh!
“Okay,” he said. “But if we get caught I’m going to say you made me do it.”
I chuckled. “Right, like I twisted your arm.”
We walked the entire section and it is almost complete from what I could see. The other entrance still needs some work but it was a very nice (albeit short) hike. We didn’t get caught but the idea of “being bad” might have burned a few more calories for Jay. It might have burned a few more for me when Jay tried (twice) to pull up a tree seedling he seemed obsessed with bringing home. I told him there was no way he could pull it up and we didn’t need a tree at home but he tried just the same. Maybe that is why they want to restrict who walks there.
So at the end of the day we actually had gotten started on taking actions on a few things we had been thinking about but hadn’t done yet.
When I got home from work Monday afternoon (Jay is off on Mondays) he was ready and waiting to take another walk! Two days down already!
I can’t wait for a third! (I can dream, can't I)?
TT
It was a fairly busy Sunday without getting out of hand. Things went fairly easily and we actually got quite a few of these things we have been thinking about in place. One of the things we both needed to try harder at was getting back into some kind of exercise routine. But Jay doesn't exercise. I've tried to get him to walk and he will flatly turn me down. I'm not sure why I keep asking but I did and this time he said yes! Not only did he say yes but we worked out a three day a week plan!
We went out Sunday afternoon and he stopped at a area that was mostly soccer/baseball field. It was a good place to have a stroll so that is what we did.
Now I know this isn’t the intensity I would get if I went on my regular short runs but it’s really a whole lot more since I haven’t been doing that. Something is more than nothing, right? And I think that having someone else there to get me going was what both of us, not just me, might have needed. (I can dream, can’t I)?
So we started out and walked the length of the field and turned. We came upon an entrance to an area under construction that ran along a small creek.
It had the open weave orange construction tape on either side but it was obviously a walkway the city was working on. I approached it rather eagerly. Wow! Unknown territory! I was going for it. Then Jay said, “Wait!”
Sure enough, the no unauthorized personnel sign he was pointing to at my feet had been knocked down. I stared at it for a moment and turned to Jay. “It’s Sunday afternoon. No one is here working on it today.”
“So you want to be bad?”
“Yeah,” I said. Like Duh!
“Okay,” he said. “But if we get caught I’m going to say you made me do it.”
I chuckled. “Right, like I twisted your arm.”
We walked the entire section and it is almost complete from what I could see. The other entrance still needs some work but it was a very nice (albeit short) hike. We didn’t get caught but the idea of “being bad” might have burned a few more calories for Jay. It might have burned a few more for me when Jay tried (twice) to pull up a tree seedling he seemed obsessed with bringing home. I told him there was no way he could pull it up and we didn’t need a tree at home but he tried just the same. Maybe that is why they want to restrict who walks there.
So at the end of the day we actually had gotten started on taking actions on a few things we had been thinking about but hadn’t done yet.
When I got home from work Monday afternoon (Jay is off on Mondays) he was ready and waiting to take another walk! Two days down already!
I can’t wait for a third! (I can dream, can't I)?
TT
Monday, May 16, 2011
Lawn update
I came home from work last week and here it was, all nicely moved and edged. Since we had plowed it up, had it installed and watered it for a constant week and a half back in the middle of April this is what it currently looks like.
Could you even tell these are individual squares of sod?
Am I lucky that not a one of them was lost in the process?
I had been saying it was getting to the point I was going to have to buy a lawn mower but I came home and it was all done. Jay hired a service and the only thing I had left to do was take a picture of the finished product. It's a far cry from what it looked like back in April...just a month ago.
Or even how it looked the day it was installed. (Do you install a lawn)?So there have been some postive things happening around the homestead. Now I just have to face the crisis of the broken air conditioner today. Ah, the joy's of home ownership! That's the way it goes, sometimes.
Can you tell I've been at this for a while?
TT
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Let it in
What a beautiful Sunday morning! I am having one of those grab ahold of the moment experiences that only timing and bad luck sometimes throws my way.
It is a quiet, fifty-nine degree morning and I have all my windows open. You can't possibly understand how much I could live with all my windows open when the weather aligns itself this way. I love this feeling of outdoors-in.
I wouldn't have been able to do this if our air conditioner hadn't decided to take a break. Or to break, as it has partially, I think, maybe no freon. I knew that leak we had before would show up again. A repairperson will be called and money will be paid and it will all be operational again. I could take my beautiful morning and weep over the unexpected turn of possible financial upheaval or do what I am currently doing. I have opened the entire house and let the lovely outdoors-in. It wouldn't have happened this way if the timing and bad luck didn't come along and I would have missed this grab ahold moment.
What a beautiful Sunday morning!
TT
It is a quiet, fifty-nine degree morning and I have all my windows open. You can't possibly understand how much I could live with all my windows open when the weather aligns itself this way. I love this feeling of outdoors-in.
I wouldn't have been able to do this if our air conditioner hadn't decided to take a break. Or to break, as it has partially, I think, maybe no freon. I knew that leak we had before would show up again. A repairperson will be called and money will be paid and it will all be operational again. I could take my beautiful morning and weep over the unexpected turn of possible financial upheaval or do what I am currently doing. I have opened the entire house and let the lovely outdoors-in. It wouldn't have happened this way if the timing and bad luck didn't come along and I would have missed this grab ahold moment.
What a beautiful Sunday morning!
TT
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Never left
It's almost end of day Saturday and I never left the house. I managed to get away with never changing out of my too large jean shorts and old baggy tank top. I got a lot of laundry done and I gave away a recipe but that was so many hours ago. I went outside to check the mail and pulled the weeds that had sprung up by the mailbox. That must have taken me all of 12 minutes. Maybe 13.
I thought I needed to get out of the house but I never left. I managed to blot out hours at a time sitting and letting characters talk while I transcribed what they said. I put down their thoughts and what they did as they did it. I wrote down their actions and interactions and their frustration and energy. I followed along with my keyboard as they went through their day and how it unraveled for some and how it came together for others. I put down when they were feeling things only they knew for sure they were feeling. I wrote it all down when it didn't make any sense to them but spread out on my pages it made complete sense. They just don't know it yet.
I do.
It's been fun spending the day in my too large jeans and top. Not having any concern about going out to do this or that. I've been all over the place today without ever leaving my keyboard. They took me there and I just followed along and wrote it down.
Glad they didn't seem to notice me. I wasn't dressed properly.
TT
I thought I needed to get out of the house but I never left. I managed to blot out hours at a time sitting and letting characters talk while I transcribed what they said. I put down their thoughts and what they did as they did it. I wrote down their actions and interactions and their frustration and energy. I followed along with my keyboard as they went through their day and how it unraveled for some and how it came together for others. I put down when they were feeling things only they knew for sure they were feeling. I wrote it all down when it didn't make any sense to them but spread out on my pages it made complete sense. They just don't know it yet.
I do.
It's been fun spending the day in my too large jeans and top. Not having any concern about going out to do this or that. I've been all over the place today without ever leaving my keyboard. They took me there and I just followed along and wrote it down.
Glad they didn't seem to notice me. I wasn't dressed properly.
TT
Story excerpt
I am not sure why but I thought I would drop you an excerpt from the fiction I have been working on. It's still a first draft since I really need to get the entire story down before I go back and get this into any kind of real reading shape. It might not even make any sense since this occurs somewhere what is now chapter eight but that could change. It might be good to know that Cassie and Nathan are the main characters but other than that, I am not sure what else I'm supposed to tell you.
I could say if you are really not interested in reading some random, first draft excerpt from a still unfinished (but being worked on!) story then stop here.
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“I really didn’t mean to bring up work,” said Nathan. “I am really more interested in Cassie Pallas.”
Cassie dropped the napkin in her lap and let her eyes move up to Nathan. They weren’t really sitting across from each other. He was sitting closer to her than directly across so she turned her head slightly to look at him. He was smiling at her and those crystal blue eyes danced with more than she could read at one glance. She would keep studying them as long as she could. They held her entranced. She wanted to know more and Nathan Merrick was certainly someone she was more than just a little interested in.
Cassie finally shrugged and said, “I don’t know what you could find interesting.”
“Really? Then I have a confession to make. I have been interested since I saw you that first time in the deli.”
Cassie paused for a moment and looked into those eyes again. They weren’t hiding any signs of mocking and had turned a slightly darker shade. Or was that her imagination? She shrugged again and tried to play it off. “Then I guess I must confess. I thought you were pretty interesting myself.”
“Hmmm,” he said. “I thought so.”
“You thought so.”
“Yes.”
“Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I don’t seem to be wrong. You just admitted…”
“Well, yes, but…”
“But…what? It doesn’t seem we were reading each other wrong, now does it?" Nathan said. "I think we might have been thinking along the same lines.”
“You’re talking about the wine again. I was considering both bottles, that's true. But I had already decided I was going to take the Merlot before you chose the Claret and not the other way around.”
“Yes, certainly. I’m talking about the wine, of course.” Nathan took a sip of his water as Cassie watched. She knew he wasn’t talking about the wine. She knew he was talking about their first encounter and how she had reacted when she first saw him. She wanted to explain how she didn’t normally act that way with strangers but knew there was no way of explaining it. She found it uncomfortable for him to talk about it out loud and for him to admit it was the same for the both of them.
Nathan put the water down and asked, “Tell me something about Cassie besides her liking wine. How did you get into the fashion business?”
Cassie smiled. It was her turn to sip some water and when she placed the glass down again she took a deep breath. “Well, you see,” she started, “I have a very indulgent father.”
“Oh, you do? Your father? I would have thought your mother might have spurred your interest in fashion. ”
Cassie looked down and her smile diminished. There was that pang in her heart again. When would she stop having that feeling? Why did she still feel it randomly when she was made to face the loss of her mother? It had been so very long ago. The oddest part was that she didn’t feel it every time someone brought it up anymore. It only seemed to hit her when she might have to reveal it to someone important. When had Nathan become important?
Nathan reached over and lifted her chin with his finger so she was looking at him. “Did I bring up another bad subject?” he asked.
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Cassie finally shrugged and said, “I don’t know what you could find interesting.”
“Really? Then I have a confession to make. I have been interested since I saw you that first time in the deli.”
Cassie paused for a moment and looked into those eyes again. They weren’t hiding any signs of mocking and had turned a slightly darker shade. Or was that her imagination? She shrugged again and tried to play it off. “Then I guess I must confess. I thought you were pretty interesting myself.”
“Hmmm,” he said. “I thought so.”
“You thought so.”
“Yes.”
“Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I don’t seem to be wrong. You just admitted…”
“Well, yes, but…”
“But…what? It doesn’t seem we were reading each other wrong, now does it?" Nathan said. "I think we might have been thinking along the same lines.”
“You’re talking about the wine again. I was considering both bottles, that's true. But I had already decided I was going to take the Merlot before you chose the Claret and not the other way around.”
“Yes, certainly. I’m talking about the wine, of course.” Nathan took a sip of his water as Cassie watched. She knew he wasn’t talking about the wine. She knew he was talking about their first encounter and how she had reacted when she first saw him. She wanted to explain how she didn’t normally act that way with strangers but knew there was no way of explaining it. She found it uncomfortable for him to talk about it out loud and for him to admit it was the same for the both of them.
Nathan put the water down and asked, “Tell me something about Cassie besides her liking wine. How did you get into the fashion business?”
Cassie smiled. It was her turn to sip some water and when she placed the glass down again she took a deep breath. “Well, you see,” she started, “I have a very indulgent father.”
“Oh, you do? Your father? I would have thought your mother might have spurred your interest in fashion. ”
Cassie looked down and her smile diminished. There was that pang in her heart again. When would she stop having that feeling? Why did she still feel it randomly when she was made to face the loss of her mother? It had been so very long ago. The oddest part was that she didn’t feel it every time someone brought it up anymore. It only seemed to hit her when she might have to reveal it to someone important. When had Nathan become important?
Nathan reached over and lifted her chin with his finger so she was looking at him. “Did I bring up another bad subject?” he asked.
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That's all you get. Pretty spare, I guess, considering this is about 569 words out of the close to 37,000 words I have already written on this story. I am bound and determined to finish the story soon. I am getting to really like these people since they have been showing me a little better who they are. Crazy talk. I know. But you read for yourself where they were talking to each other.
Didn't you?
TT
Not my fault
I guess every other post on blogger right now is probably talking about how the site went down and into "read-only" mode for the past two days or so. It wouldn't have meant anything to someone that was viewing a site...that would have looked normal except that nothing new was being posted. The reason for all the excitement would be from us silly little fiends that publish here that couldn't log-in. We couldn't get to our behind-the-scenes, our dashboards, our drafts or anything to do with our blogs except look at them like everyone else. We couldn't even get in to post that something was wrong and it wasn't our fault that nothing new was being written up and posted. We had to stare grimly at whatever was already posted and wonder if and when blogger decided to come back we would have any of the work we had already started but not published.
It seemed like it took a long time. I know I made several attempts at different times and I was locked out. I checked their issues site and got no more information other than they were working on it. I read comments posted on another site where some bloggers were very upset. After reading through to see if I could glean any more information I came to one finally that rang truest to me and it went something to this effect...Hey...it's not like we are paying for the service...
Well said. Good enough.
TT
It seemed like it took a long time. I know I made several attempts at different times and I was locked out. I checked their issues site and got no more information other than they were working on it. I read comments posted on another site where some bloggers were very upset. After reading through to see if I could glean any more information I came to one finally that rang truest to me and it went something to this effect...Hey...it's not like we are paying for the service...
Well said. Good enough.
TT
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Not so tired
I started writing last night but it was late and I was tired. I didn't get very far before I just left it alone. I seemed to have come to a good stopping place and I took advantage of it. At least that is what I convinced myself of last night.
I wonder sometimes if I should just push through those times. Sometimes that seems to work and I am able to surprise myself with getting more done than I thought but than there are the other times when it isn't worth the extra time and I end up with nothing except being extra tired.
I guess that is what makes it all so hard, fun, exciting, frustrating, tiring and wonderful. If I didn't have the variations come along would I be able to appreciate the good with the bad? Doesn't the good seem that much better when it's laden with tough things I've pushed myself through? Granted, it is easier to remember all the bad when I've had to go through it all. But when I step back and see where I am and what I have done despite it all.
Tired just can't keep up.
TT
I wonder sometimes if I should just push through those times. Sometimes that seems to work and I am able to surprise myself with getting more done than I thought but than there are the other times when it isn't worth the extra time and I end up with nothing except being extra tired.
I guess that is what makes it all so hard, fun, exciting, frustrating, tiring and wonderful. If I didn't have the variations come along would I be able to appreciate the good with the bad? Doesn't the good seem that much better when it's laden with tough things I've pushed myself through? Granted, it is easier to remember all the bad when I've had to go through it all. But when I step back and see where I am and what I have done despite it all.
Tired just can't keep up.
TT
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Old traditions
I woke up this morning to live music. I was just about to get up when I heard the classic Mexican song Las Mañanitas. I wasn't sure at first if someone was playing it from a CD so I quickly got myself up and opened the front door. It was coming from the neighbors house and I could hear it clearly now. It was a group of mariachi's serenading the mother of the house next door!
I have heard of this tradition. I have been around mariachi's quite a bit. I know quite a few traditional songs that they would sing and, of course, everyone would recognize their black with silver enhanced suits. I have seen and heard them sing at weddings and outdoor parties many times. I had heard of the tradition of the early morning Mother's Day serenade by these small bands of musicians but never came so close to it actually happening.
Until this morning. There they were, right next door for me to hear. It was so much of something I grew up with. Then today it happened when I was least thinking about it. And it was so up close and personal...on the right day at the right time. It takes me so far back. How could the day start any better? Who would have expected an early serenade on such a beautiful morning? Even if it wasn't exactly for me, but in a way it was and it feels really good.
The neighbors are departing now, I'm sure to re-group for the rest of their Mother's Day preparations. I should go about what I was going to do before the music started. Something that would never fit into the old traditions that started way back when.
This mom is going for a run.
TT
I have heard of this tradition. I have been around mariachi's quite a bit. I know quite a few traditional songs that they would sing and, of course, everyone would recognize their black with silver enhanced suits. I have seen and heard them sing at weddings and outdoor parties many times. I had heard of the tradition of the early morning Mother's Day serenade by these small bands of musicians but never came so close to it actually happening.
Until this morning. There they were, right next door for me to hear. It was so much of something I grew up with. Then today it happened when I was least thinking about it. And it was so up close and personal...on the right day at the right time. It takes me so far back. How could the day start any better? Who would have expected an early serenade on such a beautiful morning? Even if it wasn't exactly for me, but in a way it was and it feels really good.
The neighbors are departing now, I'm sure to re-group for the rest of their Mother's Day preparations. I should go about what I was going to do before the music started. Something that would never fit into the old traditions that started way back when.
This mom is going for a run.
TT
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Cookie obsessed
I had cookie flavor ideas on the brain most of Friday. I kept thinking of different combinations I wanted to try. I went out after work looking for specific ingredients I thought I might be able to use. I couldn't stop thinking and re-thinking about cookies.
Then Saturday came and I started baking.
I ended up making seven different types of cookies. I had made the Turtle cookies before although they are pretty much known as half-baked. The reason for that is I had to make several batches of these before they produced a cookie anywhere near the turtle candy I was going for. It turns out I need to add the caramel after the cookie is half way through it's baking time or it turns too brittle.
I've made the PC cookies before...Pistachio Cranberry. They make a nice tangy, salty combination and looks very holiday with their natural colors of red and green. Those were the only two I have actually made before.
I thought coffee hazelnut had to be a good combination in a chocolate cookie dough. I actually wanted to add chocolate covered coffee beans in it but couldn't find them. (Yes, I went to two different Starbucks to no avail). I ended up using some instant expresso powder. Maybe too much...not for me...I love coffee. I just can't tell yet.Chocolate Cherry is a basic chocolate cookie with chopped marachino cherries and bittersweet chocolate chips. It was a play on a chocolate covered cherry taste but in a regular cookie. But then I tried again with a white cookie and whole marachino cherries instead of chopped that I cooked in a cherry juice DiSaronno reduction. I put one cherry and some semi-sweet chips inside the cookie dough. I will need to test these again to get the right baked shape. They spread too much for my liking. I am thinking I need to use a rolled cookie dough instead.
Then I went on to Rum Glazed Walnut cookies. I am not sure why I was raiding the liquor cabinet! I sauteed the walnuts in sugar and rum and then added them to a white cookie dough. And yes, I added some run to the cookie dough, too. Why not? 
So then I went for my seventh cookie. I don't know. I think I should have left it at six types of cookies. But I decided to try one more...a margarita cookie. I added lime zest, some extra salt and tequila into this cookie. I rolled it out and now I wish I had made the circle smaller and baked a small slit half way through so it could sit on a shot glass. Whew! This is one odd cookie! I get the salt straight up. Then the lime kicks in and afterward I get the tequila. Or maybe it's my imagination after tasting too many different flavors most of the day and fudging around in the kitchen.
Hmmm...fudging. Fudge. NO! No more baking right now or ideas about baking! I need to make dinner now. Let me see...chicken with fresh mushrooms. I could do a cream sauce with some potatoes. I think I have some greens I could cook down with bacon...
Hey, see you later. I think I'm going to fire up the stove right now.
TT
Friday, May 6, 2011
Easy thing
I calculated it is about time I need to buy new running shoes. I've put on a little more than 425 miles on the pair I have been wearing and I've had them for about six months. I can sort of feel that they are getting a little worn and tired. But I might put off buying a new pair a little bit longer. I can alternate from the Brooks I've been wearing to the Karhu pair I stopped wearing when I got the Brooks. Those don't have as many miles on them.
They aren't the most attractive shoe (the Karhu). They are the color of bricks on my feet but they in no way feel like bricks. They have all kinds of heel to toe engineering and I actually paid more for them but I got the Brooks since I was wanting to get another pair and break them in before the half marathon I did way back last November. It was a good move, a good choice for me.
Just something I've been thinking about. Like the way I've been thinking it would be nice for me to drive out to the runners haven tomorrow morning and do my few miles there amongst all the real runners. It might be a good motivational thing for me to change scenery. It would be an easy thing to do...like changing my shoes.
TT
They aren't the most attractive shoe (the Karhu). They are the color of bricks on my feet but they in no way feel like bricks. They have all kinds of heel to toe engineering and I actually paid more for them but I got the Brooks since I was wanting to get another pair and break them in before the half marathon I did way back last November. It was a good move, a good choice for me.
Just something I've been thinking about. Like the way I've been thinking it would be nice for me to drive out to the runners haven tomorrow morning and do my few miles there amongst all the real runners. It might be a good motivational thing for me to change scenery. It would be an easy thing to do...like changing my shoes.
TT
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Ideas anyone?
I read over a few index cards I had written notes on. It's a good thing I read them over before I used any of them. I think I might need to be a little clearer on my notes. After reading them I didn't have any idea what my ideas were. I read them over a few times and nope, nothing, nada. I couldn't figure out what possessed me to write whatever I had written and what it could possibly have meant. I'm still nudging them around on the top of my desk but cannot figure out where I was going with any of them.
On one I had filled almost the full back and front of the card with my notoriously small script that I use when I think I might run out of room. It's like I have to get the whole idea on one card because if I use two they might get separated and I won't be able to figure out what the two ideas were not realizing it was only one long progressive idea. But even though I had written small I could still actually read it. I mean I had written legibly but legible handwriting a good idea does not make. After reading it I made that sour face you might make after tasting a lemon. That's kind of what was going on with me after I read it. Like...what?
Good thing it was only a bunch of index cards. I think that is what they are for, right? To capture the ideas of the moment so later you can go through them and write up the ideas. Unfortunately, on these cards I have right now...well. The only idea I'm getting is that it's a good thing I don't pay a lot for boxes of index cards. The only idea I could write up from these cards is what a bad bunch of ideas are written on these index cards. I guess the index cards captured an idea. Too bad I can't figure out what the ideas actually were.
TT
On one I had filled almost the full back and front of the card with my notoriously small script that I use when I think I might run out of room. It's like I have to get the whole idea on one card because if I use two they might get separated and I won't be able to figure out what the two ideas were not realizing it was only one long progressive idea. But even though I had written small I could still actually read it. I mean I had written legibly but legible handwriting a good idea does not make. After reading it I made that sour face you might make after tasting a lemon. That's kind of what was going on with me after I read it. Like...what?
Good thing it was only a bunch of index cards. I think that is what they are for, right? To capture the ideas of the moment so later you can go through them and write up the ideas. Unfortunately, on these cards I have right now...well. The only idea I'm getting is that it's a good thing I don't pay a lot for boxes of index cards. The only idea I could write up from these cards is what a bad bunch of ideas are written on these index cards. I guess the index cards captured an idea. Too bad I can't figure out what the ideas actually were.
TT
Balancing act
It is feeling rather odd for me to try to put back my everyday routine of weekday work days. I seem to be doing the things I would do that have established themselves. The alarm went off, I made coffee, got dressed for work, came upstairs to check e-mails and now I am sitting here thinking it feels odd. I am having an overwhelming feeling that I don't want to go back to what I was doing before.
No, no. I've gotten over (okay - I'm working on it) my attitude of not wanting to go to work at all. I can't do that now, that's a given. I think what I am feeling is I don't want to fall into old routines that this time away has pulled me out of. I am wanting to keep doing all those things that I was doing while being away and somehow manage to fit the work day in and not the other way around.
I managed to balance a lot of work with things high on my personal priority list. The house is looking much better than it has in a while. I haven't finished with it. I want to stay and get a few more things in order. I managed to write. Not so much here but there on my book. I've got my story churning up and spilling out where I got lost in time. Ooops! Did I miss something else? Too late now, move on.
I guess I can't feel bad about getting those high priority items worked on. Now it's just a challenge to not fall into the routine hole and somehow managing to keep the balance.
I am feeling a bit like I was allowed a little bit of a head start. Oh wait...I wasn't allowed. I just took it. Now I need to see how long I can keep it.
TT
No, no. I've gotten over (okay - I'm working on it) my attitude of not wanting to go to work at all. I can't do that now, that's a given. I think what I am feeling is I don't want to fall into old routines that this time away has pulled me out of. I am wanting to keep doing all those things that I was doing while being away and somehow manage to fit the work day in and not the other way around.
I managed to balance a lot of work with things high on my personal priority list. The house is looking much better than it has in a while. I haven't finished with it. I want to stay and get a few more things in order. I managed to write. Not so much here but there on my book. I've got my story churning up and spilling out where I got lost in time. Ooops! Did I miss something else? Too late now, move on.
I guess I can't feel bad about getting those high priority items worked on. Now it's just a challenge to not fall into the routine hole and somehow managing to keep the balance.
I am feeling a bit like I was allowed a little bit of a head start. Oh wait...I wasn't allowed. I just took it. Now I need to see how long I can keep it.
TT
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Cry baby
I have been off from work since last Thursday taking vacation time. I will be going back tomorrow. It is the end of my planned time off. I have to say that I could get very used to not going in to work every day. I haven't given work a single thought except about how much I would rather not be doing it.
It isn't that I don't have a good job, a good boss, interesting people to work with and shall I go on about all the positives I have going for me there? Good salary, pleasant surroundings, close to home, fair co-workers...you don't really want to hear this, I know. Especially since all I want to do is not show up.
But that has nothing really to do with the job but everything to do with the fact that I am in a place where I would rather do other things all day. Doesn't everyone want to do other things all day? Doesn't everyone get to a place when they are at work when there are so many things to do that are outside of work, or that you can't do at work, but would rather be getting them done instead of being at work?
I would so rather be doing all the things I can't do at work right about now...or right about tomorrow actually - about the time I will be at work.
But enough complaining. I not only have a really good job but I planned this time off where I would only have to work two days this week. That will give me about enough time to catch up and then have a weekend to look forward to. So I guess I shouldn't be complaining at all...except that I can, so I did.
I have to go back to work tomorrow. I don't wanna.
TT
It isn't that I don't have a good job, a good boss, interesting people to work with and shall I go on about all the positives I have going for me there? Good salary, pleasant surroundings, close to home, fair co-workers...you don't really want to hear this, I know. Especially since all I want to do is not show up.
But that has nothing really to do with the job but everything to do with the fact that I am in a place where I would rather do other things all day. Doesn't everyone want to do other things all day? Doesn't everyone get to a place when they are at work when there are so many things to do that are outside of work, or that you can't do at work, but would rather be getting them done instead of being at work?
I would so rather be doing all the things I can't do at work right about now...or right about tomorrow actually - about the time I will be at work.
But enough complaining. I not only have a really good job but I planned this time off where I would only have to work two days this week. That will give me about enough time to catch up and then have a weekend to look forward to. So I guess I shouldn't be complaining at all...except that I can, so I did.
I have to go back to work tomorrow. I don't wanna.
TT
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
A walk
During my time away, I took a walk when we first arrived. I brought my camera along and okay, yeah, I might have jogged a bit (maybe 2 miles out of the entire walk of five). I had only one earbud plugged into my music so I could hear the wind and surf and I was listening to Lyle Lovett croon. That's what Lovett does, isn't it? Croon? It made me think of how varied the music the tiny device stored and if I were to put it on shuffle it would surprise, relax, and energize as each different song began to play randomly. It made me think how life is on a constant shuffle mode. We go along not always realizing what might be coming up next.
It was windy that day. I stopped here and took these pictures before I started my two mile jog. I realized the force of the wind was pushing quite a bit. I would have to work a little harder to keep moving in the direction I wanted to go or I could be pushed in any direction the wind wanted to take me instead. It was persistent as it crashed around me but I maneuvered around and through it to keep going.
It was windy that day. I stopped here and took these pictures before I started my two mile jog. I realized the force of the wind was pushing quite a bit. I would have to work a little harder to keep moving in the direction I wanted to go or I could be pushed in any direction the wind wanted to take me instead. It was persistent as it crashed around me but I maneuvered around and through it to keep going.
As I went on I slowed back to a walk. I realized there are times when I have to go with the ebb and flow. It can sometimes be smooth as silk or bubble and boil. Not always knowing which way it will go makes it more interesting.
Then there are always those times when I seem to created my own disasters and sometimes they are just natural. There will always be something along the way. I can always depend on something, good or bad, turning up.
But then there is always a great expanse of possibilities when I look up and beyond. It can go as far as the eye can see if I try to see the whole and not focus on a part.
It is up to me and my private choices as I go on my way. I try to make the best ones as I travel along and hope for no regrets.
It was an interesting walk that made me think. I so love this place.
TT
Monday, May 2, 2011
Can't I stay?
I didn't want to come back. I honestly could have stayed at my own personal paradise another few days, a week, easily. I said as much this morning to Jay but he claims I always say that. I don't think I have said that recently in the past few times we have come out but then my memory might be shot. I know recently I have been more than ready to return but he claims I said it many times years ago. He claims I never wanted to leave. No me recuerdo.
But it was time to come home and I reluctantly did. Come back home. I am feeling fuzzy headed and odd after being away. I (of course) have already put everything in it's place and stowed things back where things should be stowed. Laundry is keeping time in the room just behind me and I can smell chicken soup cooking on the stove downstairs.
But enough for now. I have terrible urges to get things cleaned up and straighted out here now that I am back. I know my energy will only hold up a little longer so tomorrow will have to be soon enough for some things. I would rather be there.
TT
But it was time to come home and I reluctantly did. Come back home. I am feeling fuzzy headed and odd after being away. I (of course) have already put everything in it's place and stowed things back where things should be stowed. Laundry is keeping time in the room just behind me and I can smell chicken soup cooking on the stove downstairs.
But enough for now. I have terrible urges to get things cleaned up and straighted out here now that I am back. I know my energy will only hold up a little longer so tomorrow will have to be soon enough for some things. I would rather be there.
TT
Sunday, May 1, 2011
What day is it?
What day is it? I know yesterday I started the day with what time is it but as much as I am feeling a little more normal it has certainly been a string of days that could not be considered normal by any stretch of anyone's imagination, including mine. So I believe it's a Sunday morning. It isn't like it really makes much difference right now. I don't need to figure that out at the moment. I have time to not worry about that now and see if it comes to me later.
What I DO know is that I am sitting at the only place I know I can get some coffee and wi-fi this early morning (McDs). And even though that not be my choice of best places to be...it's location, location, location. I can turn my head slightly to the left and I can see the ocean breeze whipping across the water. The blue pool is stretched out beyond to meet the horizon of the sky above littered with swooping gulls while small frothy waves roll to the shore. A patch of small palm trees are whipping in the wind like flags and there isn't much activity except for me forcing myself to turn back to my keyboard instead of letting myself be mesmorized by the scene to my mere left turn of my head.
It's calling me, I know. The coffee cup has been drained and I can't resist the hypnosis of what is just beyond these doors. It's time to shut down now. It's time to enjoy what is just a few steps away.
What day is it? It doesn't matter...I'm at my own personal paradise.
TT
What I DO know is that I am sitting at the only place I know I can get some coffee and wi-fi this early morning (McDs). And even though that not be my choice of best places to be...it's location, location, location. I can turn my head slightly to the left and I can see the ocean breeze whipping across the water. The blue pool is stretched out beyond to meet the horizon of the sky above littered with swooping gulls while small frothy waves roll to the shore. A patch of small palm trees are whipping in the wind like flags and there isn't much activity except for me forcing myself to turn back to my keyboard instead of letting myself be mesmorized by the scene to my mere left turn of my head.
It's calling me, I know. The coffee cup has been drained and I can't resist the hypnosis of what is just beyond these doors. It's time to shut down now. It's time to enjoy what is just a few steps away.
What day is it? It doesn't matter...I'm at my own personal paradise.
TT
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