Obsessive energy

I've become obsessed with paying off everything. I just spent the past 30 minutes finagling, calculating, transferring, and finally deciding to clear everything I could possibly clear from my tiny list of debts. I have made awesome strides in getting every last credit paid in full including my mortgage (last year) and culminating in zeroing out my final credit card balance (last month). So, what could I possibly be obsessing over now? You would think all the energy being put into bill paying would have dissipated by now and it had. Believe me, I thought it was done. Then I got the bill for taxes on the house.

I knew it was coming even though it was automatically paid all these past years by my mortgage company (along with my insurance-which I paid in full in July). But, it was so soon after I built up this 'gotta pay everybody and everything' attitude. I had the need to clear the balances on all the spreadsheets and all the data on everything. They all must be zero! Well, this tax bill sat on my desk for a week and, in my mind, it was burning a hole so deep it was going to leave a smoldering permanent impression if I didn't do something about it soon. It wasn't officially due until February 2015 but that was too far away. I couldn't possibly hold onto it that long, no way. That is when I spend the last 30 minutes calculating and transferring and paying it in full. Along with the tiny balance of $2.54 that was left (interest) on the credit card from last month, I can say my desk is cleared of all and every bill. Nothing left to pay. Mission accomplished, obsession needs to find another place to use up all that energy.

You might think, well goody for her. What a thing to be worried about.  If only everybody had these type of problems and obsessions. I have no idea what anyone thinks, but if that is what is going through your head, let me tell you a little secret. This was the tail end of a much more than 30 year obsession. It didn't happen today or last month or last year. This is something I have been pounding for a lifetime, so if I feel a little obsessed at this point, so be it. I'm sure I can start transferring that energy toward other things now.
TT