Goodbye 2016

Say goodbye to year 2016.

The year I turned 60 is over and done and 61 takes over from here as of this very day. I can't predict what the future will hold. I can only make some choices along the way and see how they play out over the course of the coming year. I somehow managed a few things this past year I might not have accomplished if I hadn't made the choices I did during 2016.

I whined for years to myself and others how I would like to run another half marathon. I got down to business this year and ran it October 22, 2016. I almost let the year get away from me but when I knew the date of this race I figured out a training plan with the weeks left before that date to get ready. It was a tough race with many hills. I did it. That was what I wanted to do. In the past I would have whined about how I didn't have enough time or placed some other obstacles to make it impossible for myself to do it the way I had before but I figured there was nothing to lose except my whining. It worked. I got it done.

I also started the year off with a mileage goal. I calculated the average number of miles I have run the past six years and it is about 560. I thought I would go for 800 miles this year. It was aggressive for me but I figured what could it hurt. My last run for the year was this morning and it gave me a total of 770 miles for 2016. I was short of my goal of 800 but how can I not be more than satisfied that I was able to improve by so many more miles even when I am so much older than I was six years ago?

I'm not sure what made any difference this time around but somehow putting some plans into action did the job. I figured if it didn't work I couldn't be any worse off than my average. No one would be the wiser if I didn't run another half marathon or if I ran my 560 mile average. It wouldn't be any big loss except there were no loss this year. There were only big gains.

It's time to say goodbye to a good year - 2016. It's almost over with only a few hours to spare. Sixty years and I might have learned a thing or two. Now to use that momentum into my new improved age of sixty-one.

Hello there, 2017. What do you have planned?
TT

Chocolate,Cinnamon, Hazelnut Thumbprint Cookies

These handy little morsels were the hit of the holiday season. It's a new recipe I tried and somehow it worked so well I repeated the recipe to make up for all the supply and demand. There was much demand after that first batch and I made more to keep everyone satisfied.

It's a cocoa powder based chocolate cookie with butter and cinnamon...lots of butter and cinnamon. That combination seemed to be the addicting ingredient. It has a few steps but after I increased the cinnamon and reorganized the procedures in the recipe it turned into a great little rich and decadent cookie!
Here it is...

1 cup sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter (room temperature)
1 large egg
1 Tbsp vanilla
2 cups flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp kosher salt
2 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup hazelnuts

1/3 cup sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

4 oz (1 cup) semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
2 Tbsp hazelnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease baking sheets.
Beat sugar and butter till pale and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla. Add all dry ingredients and then hazelnuts until combined.

Mix 1/3 c sugar and 2 tsp cinnamon in small bowl. Roll heaping Tablespoon size round of dough into balls and roll in sugar. Bake 2" apart for 12 minutes turning baking sheets half way through baking time.


Make indentation with melon- baller in each cookie and remove from cookie sheets onto wire rack.



Heat chocolate chips with butter until melted and combined. Pour spoonful into indentation at center of each cookie and sprinkle with hazelnuts. Let cool for 20 minutes until set.



There is something about finding a new recipe that warms and comforts. It's especially nice around the holiday season when they can be enjoyed by all. Happy Holidays!
TT

Warm Retreat

Did I mention I put up all the Christmas decorations already? It's slightly early for me since I usually don't tackle that until the weekend before December 14th but this year it felt like it should all go up earlier. It's now arranged in all it's sparkling glory practically singing out from the corner where the tree is placed. I even started baking some cookies and made a hearty pot roast for Saturday nights dinner.

The dip in temperatures, the time change, and getting over a sinus cold seemed to have put me back a bit but I think I am over those hurdles. The sinus is almost all cleared up again, the time change is becoming more routine, and the colder temperatures will rise and fall. I have my warm retreat of sparking glory to come home to where I can sit and crochet, read, or bake. It's another part of the year. 

TT

Lapse

You can see how quickly this month might move along since I already missed a day. Umm, what happened to Friday, yesterday?

I'm not sure I can blame this lapse wholly on this fast moving month but also due to the fact (besides pure age) that I am in the (hopefully) last days of fighting an obnoxious cold that has lodged in my nose. It has caused extreme lack of energy, wanting to nap continuously, running for kleenex when my nose decides to be completely stuffed and dry one moment and a liquid faucet in the next. I haven't been at my best but I'm convinced it's almost all in my past. I would like to think of it as yesterday, which would mean I don't remember much of it at all at present.

I have things to do!
TT

Dec 1st

Here is the first day of the last month of this year. It's going to be the typical fly-by since it is so packed with happenings. We need to find extra time for decorating and baking, planning and presents. I am taking the entire last week of the month off from work. I hope I can hold out that long. I know I need it already!

TT

Big Difference

I managed to clean up my home work space over the weekend. Not just my desk but the entire worktable behind me. I had it piled so high with papers, notes, and binders I didn't know what was which or the other way around. I took some time and organized it so I could actually put the filled binders in the bookshelf and not have them stacked high all over my tables. It made a difference. I know which is what now and I eliminated many stacks of papers that didn't have any purpose. All gone.
TT

Afternoons

Back again.

I am determined to switch my early morning runs into after work runs. I waited yesterday until almost 3:00 to go out and do my Sunday 5K. It worked out and I will be making it a point to make this change over. These early morning runs have me beat by the end of the week or maybe it was just last week that did it. I can try to figure it out but it's time for me to stop figuring again. Time to do so I've made up my mind, I will put in my plan, and start the action. I got my head start yesterday by going out at three. Now to take the next step by doing it again this afternoon.
TT

Then repeat

OMGosh!

I'm looking over my shoulder trying to figure out what happened to this past week. I had some time off, there was a holiday in there, and now it's Saturday morning and I'm not sure what happened to all that time. Am I really so busy I can't keep up with it all or is it just that I am getting so tired that one day blurs into the next. It might be a combination. Busy, rush, routine, tired, and then repeat.

The good news is I have my full weekend left! The rush of the holiday is winding down along with the leftovers. I got a couple of loads of laundry already out of the way. There isn't much cleaning up to do since it's been done. It's a good time to spend with cultivating a few words of fiction. And a run.

It hasn't all completely gotten away from me.
TT

Keep stepping

Start.

Two consecutive days with runs is a beginning. A 5K Sunday and 4 miles Monday is just the tip of what may be. It could turn either way but the only way to stop moaning about how badly it's all been is to start now, don't look back and move forward. Keep moving forward. It may be a small amount of kms, miles, time but it all counts as long as it's a forward motion and not whimpering over how it's not being done.

The smallest steps have immeasurable amounts of positive rewards hidden inside.
TT

Do it

What happened?

I've been missing many runs lately. When I say lately I mean all this month. I can't seem to get into the swing of things the way I managed the past two months. I know my self-prescribed training plan ended right after my half-marathon on October 22 but even so, I haven't been able to figure out what happened to stall and stop almost all my regular runs. I have been a total no-show, no-miles, poor attendance for the entire month of November.

I went out this morning before I could figure out a way to stop. I did a simple 3 mile run. I'm hoping the fact that it was simple, easy, and so doable I will continue and start to build up again. It won't help to spend time trying to figure out what happened when I need to just fix it from here and now and go forward. Keep moving. Keep it simple. Let's do this.
TT

Gratitude

Ahhh.

And today is Friday. The end of the work week. The beginning of the weekend. Let's all get through today and be set free for multiple hours without harness. To be able to roam and create freely without timetables. It all sounds good until I realize in the middle of the weekend I am watching the clock and fretting over not having enough time or where did the time I had go so quickly? Round and round.

I'm glad it's Friday. I'm glad to have the weekend. But without the week would I appreciate the next few days as much?
TT

So it goes

Excuses.

It's amazing the amount of motivational tricks I keep up my own sleeve. I have so many positive talks, lines and phrases, rationalizations, that I spew all over myself. It usually starts early in the morning. I will make plans on something I want to do but I need to get to work first and I can't actually start on anything until afterward. So I will plot in the morning...after work I will. I figure out all the details. I make it fairly simple. I convince myself it's easy and quick. I want to do it.

The day goes by. Work at work gets done. It seems like a lifetime I've spent in those eight hours. Time to leave. Now I can put my plan into action. I have all the easy, simple steps to follow. Then I get home.

The motivational ideas that were so perfectly planned dissipate. They vanish as mist into thin air. The time it took in the morning to configure my plan is left to wither and die in less than a third of the time. I give myself a last ditch effort to restore what was so well thought out only to succumb to another day of not getting it done. And so it goes.

The next morning another plan is set. Another day of work goes by. Another set of plans are abandoned for another time.
TT

Can't always undo

Music.

I've been playing around with appls to figure out how to make it easier to transfer music from my itunes account to my phone. I think I found one that worked. At least I invested a lot of time and tried really hard to figure out their very simple instructions to find I got a few songs moved and then since I'm not good at recognizing what exactly it has done, I delete one. I'm not one to hesitate too much when it comes to pushing this and pressing that. Most of the time there is an undo button to restore whatever mistake I just made.

Not always.
TT

Plans change

Ooops.

I took one day off from work and was totally distracted. I managed to keep myself so busy I didn't think of sitting and writing or to get out and run. Actually, those things did pass through my mind but I did other things and not those.

I have decided its times to turn my running schedule around again. Since the time change and the cooler temperatures I am thinking to get my runs done after work instead of waking before the dead and going to the gym. Since I've only gotten a few sporadic runs this entire month it's time to change things up again. I am hoping to get myself out there again and if it doesn't work I'll think up another plan that might.

Times are a changing. Again.
TT

My Day, My Way

My day.

Ahhhh. Can I say that again? So nice to have this day to myself. So nice to wake when I want, do what I do, and stop when I can. This end of the week starting with a day off is the best way to begin a weekend. It's been a rush and tumble few weeks and I am so glad this random day was selected, unknowing at the time, that I would be so ready to take it today. And it's all mine for the taking.

My way.
TT

Fake Friday

Today isn't Friday.

It's Thursday morning but it's my Friday since I had pre-planned to take a vacation day tomorrow which is the real Friday of this week. I will have a three day weekend and to say I couldn't have planned it at a better time would be an understatment. I will be lucky to get back home before 5:30 pm. That makes for a long day when you are up at 4:30 and at your desk at 6:00 am. But! It's my Friday whether or not the calendar says so. I will be able to make my own schedule after I get through my long day today. I won't have to 'punch' anyone else's clock at any time tomorrow. Today isn't really Friday.

But for me, it might as well be.
TT

Middle (finger)?

Hump Day.

It's the start of the middle day of the work-week and called hump day because, I'm assuming, it's pictured as going up an incline the first few days and then zooming down the remaining few days. That picture doesn't help me much since it means today is the toughest part of the incline. Again, I am guessing it can serve as motivation that when I get through this spot I will be at the top of that tough incline and it will be easier to glide down the remaining portion or rather, the rest of the week. I'm thinking too hard. I'm trying to distract myself from thinking about all that I might think of this morning as our country takes a turn. 

Talk about getting humped.

TT

Perfect reasons

Thunder and Lightning

The rain finally poured down. There was a lot of it. My guess it waited and waited until it was bulging and bursting at the seams. It couldn't wait another day or moment and spilled out while we slept. All of it rushing down from the sky with angry, rolling blasts of growling clouds and flashes of light. It sounded great to me as I knew I still had time before getting out of bed. Then I fell asleep for a second and there it was. The sound of some weird light-hearted, tinny melody coming from my nightstand. The alarm. I was supposed to get up and run. I had every excuse not to get up. Tired, raining, storm - perfectly good reasons.

I didn't use any of them. Got up and ran 4 miles.(gym, yeah, but ran)
TT

Procrastinated

New week.

Monday morning and I got up an finally got my first run for November. Talk about being lazy! I put off a run an entire six days and then on the seventh I managed to get my duff out of bed in time to run a short 5K before work. I have now officially started the month of November, on a Monday, on the 7th, and put myself into a good frame of mind for a new week.

Why did I put if off for this long.
TT

And then it rained

Rains came.

Finally, this morning, just before I thought I might head out for a run it started pouring down rain. It's about time! A few days ago the clouds tried to turn dark and pretend to be bad but they proved to be fluffy dark clouds and nothing more. We might have gotten a few drops of moisture but nothing until the real rain showed up this morning. I didn't go run. I listened to the rain instead. It was what I had been waiting for most of the week and it finally arrived on a day I could sit and enjoy it. It was my extra day that I so greedily wanted yesterday and I got exactly what I wanted.

Except a run, but that will happen soon enough.
TT

Too quick

I sped through my Saturday.

I got a lot of things done the first few hours of my morning. Then it settled into a not so productive day. I say that as if nothing else was finished, like the laundry, ironing that I normally do on Sunday afternoons, and cleaning kitchens and making dinner. But for the most part the day, as I sit here watching the sun disappear, it feels like the day is over and I want it back. I want another day. But I'm greedy that way at times like these when it feels that no matter how much I manage to do, I want more. To do more, to have more time, to get around to those things that float through my mind about doing when there isn't time left in the day. But I have another day that comes with an additional hour tomorrow.

But still. Today sure went fast.
TT

Back up

Pitch dark.

It's late but seems earlier this morning. I had to check the clock to see what the actual time might be since I couldn't tell. If that is happening now what will be the case when we move our clocks back that hour this weekend. Fall back...an hour. So it will be darker still. It will be earlier than now at this same time which might account for the how it's still so dark. Because it will be an hour earlier.

Why don't they leave the back and forth of these clocks alone?
TT

Got rain?

I don't know what happened to the rain.

For some reason I expected to have some showers yesterday that might cool things down a bit. I was encouraged when I walked through the courtyard at work early morning and the patio was wet and a few sprinkles settled on my shoulders. I thought there it is, the rain. It's coming now as predicted.

It cleared up fairly quickly and I sat outside during lunch with no further moisture interruptions. The skies had cleared from the gray overcast it had been to a cloudy blue. It was nice during lunch. I was able to sit the entire break and enjoy the outdoors.

I don't know about today. Maybe the rain stalled and will be coming in later than predicted. It isn't even supposed to cool down by much and why I have the cooler air attached to the incoming rain, I'm not sure. I hope it does come  through.
TT

Why the alarm?

Alarms keep going off.

I switch them off and go back to sleep. It isn't even a screeching siren sound but some kind of jaunty melody that I must have picked after listening to twelve dozen other tones. I use my phone alarm and it gives me options of various metallic, tin sounding supposed sunrises, morning birds. and ocean waves. At least I think that is what they are from the one-word titles listed. They are good enough to wake me up but then I slide my finger across the face of the phone to turn it off so my alarm hasn't been working lately.

I need to go back and reset the time, the tone, my purpose for having it ring so early. That last thing is probably what I need to reset - the purpose. Until then my alarm keeps going off for no reason.

TT

Watchout for Snowballs

Welcome to Tuesday.

Now that Halloween is past, we are delving into the time of year where the time passes far quicker than we thought it might. We say it all the time. Once you get to Halloween it's one holiday after another until the year is gone. It turns into a ever rolling snowball down a steep incline, building itself as it barrels its way down. Faster, and bigger, and with ever mounting anticipation. We are already looking to the next and the next, until we are caught up in and become part of the entire swirling mass rushing down a hill.

But today is Tuesday. I have some things to get done. I have some responsibilities to take care of and hopefully find time to do a few things I'd rather afterward. I'll work on today instead of projecting any thoughts of the months to come. I'll stay on the sidelines as I lookout for any sign of snow.
I'm not giving up my Tuesday.
TT

Break time

I took the entire week off from running.

I finally got out for almost 6 miles yesterday morning but I hadn't stepped out to run the entire week since the half marathon last Saturday. It wasn't because I was sore or any other reason except I stared down the alarm in the early mornings and turned over for another hour of sleep instead. I'm supposed to be re-grouping but I didn't even think about it. Okay, maybe I thought but it was quickly put aside and not thought up again. I was simply taking a break.

I will venture out again but it seems incredible dark for this time of the morning. Maybe I'll take the few minutes to figure out a new plan. Nothing too big but something with a little structure so the alarm doesn't get ignored in November.
TT

Battle of Hill-otes

This past Saturday I ran a half marathon. It was a tough one to conquer since it's only description on it's website was: Description: Hilly. It was telling no lies. It was aptly named the Battle of Hillotes which was a play on the name of the small town of Helotes that it took place.

There was no way I was coming home without finishing. I took the past seven weeks and three days following a training plan I devised for myself by plotting it on a spreadsheet. I took 3 or 4 other 10 and 12 week plans that I had and figured out how I could improvise them into something I could actually use. I don't know if it was a good plan or not but it got me to where I wanted to go and that was crossing the finish line.

It was more than planning. It was getting up at 4:00 am and running 3 or 4 sometimes 5 miles before work. The alarm would go off and I would push to get up. Some days it was easy and some days there was no way I believed I hadn't just closed my eyes to fall asleep. There were a few mornings I was up and dressed to run before my brain realized I was ready to go. Coffee was gulped down in a few, hot sips and left for later. I had a finish line I needed to cross. I had work to do before I got there.

The morning of the race it was a cool 49-50 degrees but I knew it would warm up quickly. It only took until mile 2 to get the feeling back in my numb fingers and that was the last I thought about the weather. I had to stare down some mean hills and not just one or two but six, seven, steep and cruel ones. I got to the top of one and just looked out. The sun was coming up and there was a view to see for miles. This is why I do this. When and where else could I have been in this moment.

Looking back at my splits my pace was fast coming up through mile 7 but the hills had taken it out of me and I slowed to some snails pace the last half. I don't know what I was doing on mile 12 except maybe crawling? But none of that mattered since I had no pace goal. I only wanted to defeat the finish line and I did that last Saturday.

Since there aren't many in my age group that ventures out, I placed second in my category with a time of 2:38:38. I was a good 14 minutes behind first place (damn mile 12)! I can at least look at the bright side that the person behind me came in right at 3 hours which put me a good 40 some minutes ahead. It doesn't really matter since all of this is extra. My only wish was to get it done.

Done it is. I'm re-grouping to see what's next.
TT

Lots of miles

I could go ahead and give a long list of miles but I did that more than a few times already. I could go back to my last post to see where I left off and add the new numbers to that already too long list. I'll spare myself and you the list.

This past month of September I ended up with a total of 113.37 miles. That is more miles in a month for me in the past six years I have actual stats to compare. I ran 112 miles in October of 2010. It took me six years to do it again but I did last month. I have a total of 40.18 miles for this month and it's the eighth day of the month. That isn't a bad showing by any means. I am 26.38 miles away from meeting the best mileage in any year for me. I won't be doing it as a marathon in one day but give me a week and I'll probably have that stat blown too. 

Miles, miles, miles. I had someone ask me how I could run all those miles without anyone or anything chasing me. It's not the most original comment. It isn't original at all. How many times has everyone heard that one before? I probably couldn't even outrun someone if their intention was to chase me down. It doesn't take being pursued to run. 

Drive, confidence, consistency, strength, discipline, determination, endurance, courage. Chase me.

TT

Recap

Here is an up-to-date recap of the past month or so.

Day 1 -  6.24 miles
Day 2 -  3.55 miles
Day 3 -  8.17 miles
Day 4 -  5.07 miles
Day 5 -  4.17 miles
Day 6 -  5.63 miles
Day 7 -  Rest
Day 8 -  Rest
Day 9 -  6.41 miles
Day 10 - 9.08 miles
Day 11 - Rest
Day 12 - 5.27 miles
Day 13 - 4.52 miles
Day 14 - 4.22 miles
Day 15 - Rest
Day 16 - 4.73
Day 17 - 4.73
Day 18 - 5.05
Day 19 - Rest
Day 20 - Rest
Day 21 - Rest
Day 22 - 5.8
Day 23 - Rest
Day 24 - 12.04
Day 25 - Rest
Day 26 - 3.48
Day 27 - 5.05
Day 28 - Rest
Day 29 - 5.59
Day 30 - 4.11    End of September - Total 113.4 miles

10/1 Day 31 - 13.18
10/2 Day 32 -   5.04

October is off to a good start but I have Jury Duty today. We will see how it goes.
TT

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Day 28

It's almost the end of the month and I realized I hadn't updated any of my status lately. It hasn't been because I haven't been doing the work, I just haven't sat and gotten it down here.

Day 1 - 6.24 miles
Day 2 - 3.55 miles
Day 3 - 8.17 miles
Day 4 - 5.07 miles
Day 5 - 4.17 miles
Day 6 - 5.63 miles
Day 7 - Rest
Day 8 - Rest
Day 9 - 6.41 miles
Day 10 - 9.08 miles
Day 11 - Rest
Day 12 - 5.27 miles
Day 13 - 4.52 miles
Day 14 - 4.22 miles
Day 15 - Rest
Day 16 - 4.73
Day 17 - 4.73
Day 18 - 5.05
Day 19 - Rest
Day 20 - Rest
Day 21 - Rest
Day 22 - 5.8
Day 23 - Rest
Day 24 - 12.04
Day 25 - Rest
Day 26 - 3.48
Day 27 - 5.05
Day 28 -
Day 29 -
Day 30 -

That brings it all up to date. Only the three days left in the month but I have a total of 103.7 miles for September. It was the goal to hit the 103 miles this month because I had gone through all my stats since 2010 and the last time I had a distance that high in a month was September 2011. That's a lot of years in between without coming close to that distance in a month. 
TT

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Day 14

It is the end of Day 14 and I'm still here. It may not seem that way but I am. Never left, still on the program, still chugging away at it every day. Or mostly. I can give a run down of activities to prove it and so here it is.

Day 1 - 6.24 miles
Day 2 - 3.55 miles
Day 3 - 8.17 miles
Day 4 - 5.07 miles
Day 5 - 4.17 miles
Day 6 - 5.63 miles
Day 7 - Rest
Day 8 - Rest
Day 9 - 6.41 miles
Day 10 - 9.08 miles
Day 11 - Rest
Day 12 - 5.27 miles
Day 13 - 4.52 miles
Day 14 - 4.22 miles

That's a total of 62.34 miles if my calculations are correct and tomorrow is mid-month with a half month still to go. Not such a bad showing so far. The momentum is building. Let's see where it goes from here.
TT

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Day 8

It's early before work and I haven't headed out for an early morning run. I have another scheduled rest day for today so it wasn't in the plan. I did think about it when I knew I woke up with enough time but I guess if I make myself follow the plan when I DO need to run I should at least follow it when I'm not supposed to run. They say rest is important.

I will reserve my prerogative to change my mind if this afternoon creeps up on me and I decide to take an easy 3 mile run today instead of tomorrow  or do it today and tomorrow. My concern is for the long run on Saturday since I've committed to another appointment that may take my allotted time. There goes life again. Getting in the way of my life. But it hasn't yet. I need to be proactive in taking action to figure it out.

Day 8 - 0 miles (so far)
Monthly total - 32.87 miles
TT

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Day 7

I am up later than usual but I purposely set my alarm this time. It isn't like Day 1 when I missed an entire 45 minutes of extra morning time to run 3 miles. That day worked out fairly well in the end with some adjustments to the day. The plan is still in place and today's later awakening is all in that same plan. Here is a simple rundown.

Day 1 - 6.24 miles
Day 2 - 3.55 miles
Day 3 - 8.17 miles
Day 4 - 5.07 miles
Day 5 - 4.17 miles
Day 6 - 5.63 miles

It was an aggressive first week but since I made up the plan using four or five other 'real' plans I know I can do some change-up if necessary. It hasn't been necessary and today was a planned rest day. Tomorrow is too, but I might use my prerogative to change it up. I haven't made that decision yet.
TT

Thursday, September 1, 2016

It's Day one.

I set my alarm for 4:50 instead of 4:05. That simple transposition of a zero and a five made the difference in having the time to get a simple three mile run done early this morning or not. I was happily going to hop right out of bed when the alarm rang to get myself geared up.  Instead I'm sitting here in front of my laptop racing with my fingers instead. It doesn't count. So I will need to gather myself and make a simple plan B. This won't be thwarted on the first day!

The schedule will need to shift. It will need to be moved to later this afternoon instead of early pre-dawn. I will stick to the plan I made and see where it takes me. I can't always plan without knowing there will need to be room for change.

September 1, 2016 - 0 miles :(
TT

Reflecting on Goals

It's the very last day of August. Since it's the middle of the week it doesn't seem to be anything monumental and I'm not sure it should be anything bigger than another day. It always makes me think of tomorrow when something makes that turn to a stopping point. It makes me think toward the future and what I should be setting as goals for these last four months of this year 2016.

It seems too late to be thinking of setting any goals now. That is supposed to be done in January every year. Goals aren't for September. So don't call them goals if reflections are better. I'm reflecting on what I want to accomplish in the next four months. I'm merely thinking of what I would do and how I want to do it. It doesn't matter to me what time of the year it might be at the moment because some things don't wait or shouldn't.

I can't be sitting around until January, twittling my thumbs, wasting my time. If I have the notion to get started and if this last day of the month of August is an incentive to get started, I will use that as motivation. Time to get a move on.
TT

Last on the List

I've been going back and forth with a story. I have only approximately 7500 words written but those words were put down two years ago. Somewhere in-between I edited those same words and changed the beginning.

I went back recently to start working on it again and re-read the original opening. It was far better than the edited/changed version. I knew where I was going to start out but manipulated it into something else at the time thinking it was the right thing to do. It wasn't and I'm back to looking at it with a more objective eye since being separated from it for all this time.

My real problem is my recent work or the lack thereof. It isn't the 7500 words, or the editing, or the going back to the beginning. The issue isn't the steps I've taken to read, assess, and get the proper objectives in line for the story. The real issue is my total procrastination about working on it at all. The amount of time I just described was probably a total of 15 minutes in at least a two week time frame.

I'm not exactly happy with that amount and even though I think in the back of my brain that I should be spending more time on this, I simply haven't. On my never ending list of tasks it is always the one thing that get's left undone. I guess that happens and that is when I need to make adjustments on the things I choose to do. It's time to choose the priorities on my own list and stop leaving the ones I'd  rather spend time on left undone. This story obviously isn't going to write itself.
TT

The Whole Day Ahead

It's Sunday morning and you can bet I will take the most advantage of my day. Kitchen is already cleaned up and some chile guisado is already ready for those huevos we will be frying up a little later. The food parade will continue.

I think I'll make up a batch of sugar cookies. I can keep those fresh in a tin. I have a little more ground beef and pork I can make into some meatballs. I might even go ahead and roll out more pasta and cut into fettuccine. There will be good eating this week.

That still gives me plenty of free time. I can watch a movie, read my book, even write a little more. The agenda is really wide open to anything. Let me give it some thought and see what unfolds.
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Humming in the Kitchen

I think I am winding down my day. It started with a 6 miler. A good easy run with a nice little rain from about mile 2.5 until almost the 4 mile mark. But it was a nice easy rain and the drops felt like heavenly kisses on my shoulders. It was utterly the best way to start out the day.

After I got back from my run, it was a short trip to the grocery store. I wanted to get the essential items on my list and to also get back home to do some cooking. The deli roast beef was running over $12.00 a pound so I picked up a beef roast for $7.90. It was when I got home that things started to hum in the kitchen.

The roast was seasoned up and put into the oven. I started up my bread machine and let it loose. Then I pulled out my old fashioned, stainless steel, clamp to the table and crank by hand pasta machine. I whipped up some pasta dough and ran it through the machine. What a relief it is from rolling the dough out with a rolling pin. I went ahead and cooked up some ground beef and pork together. I threw in some spices, parsley, and stirred in some ricotta cheese and garlic for a filling.  Yeah...that dough is now beef ravioli.

The roast beef turned out perfectly and I sliced it up thin. It will be tasting mighty good on that rustic wheat bread which I already had all the ingredients to make. I weighed the beef after I sliced it and it was 2.3 lbs. meaning if I bought that amount at the deli it would have cost $27.60. So I figured I saved $19.70. The ravioli didn't cost much either if you figure I only used 1 1/4 of semolina flour and two eggs for the dough. The filling amount I made was approximately $3.77. I made about 32 ravioli's.

I even made jello and a from scratch white cake I baked in a loaf pan. I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies with walnuts, too but those were already given away.

Good day to be in the kitchen. Some really good smells can perk up any rainy day. We need the rain, we love the food. What better way to spend the day.

TT

Busy schedule

It's not too bad when you have a few days off, go back to work for two days, and then find yourself with a couple more days off. The weekend has arrived again and I am more than overjoyed! Free time, free time - let the song begin.

That was a little over the top and it's not like I haven't had my share of time-off lately but you can't knock a girl for wanting to make her own schedule. It's what I plan on doing. I've already started the day and I have the next item to get busy with doing. Gotta run, now, and then see what the next thing might be.
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Some time off

It's early Sunday morning and I've been up for a while. It hasn't sunk in yet that I am taking a few days off. It still feels like I am supposed to be doing my regular routine. It's all sort of jumbled up right now and I'm going with the flow until it straightens itself out. I'm not sure how long that will take. It's possible I will float through the entire time and not realize it took place. Or I will get my head together and it will all fall into place.

A few days off from work, some time to stretch and pull away from the normal routine is what is needed. Sometimes the routine gets so balled up and rolling so fast it's hard to pull away from that sort of forward momentum. It's needed but putting the breaks on it can sometimes take some time to happen. It's this fuzzy state I'm in right now of not really having the reality of time off right here in my lap.

But it's okay, it's fine, really. I'll be in another place soon enough. I'll have packed a bag and moved down the coast and be sitting near the water's edge like that is the normal routine instead of the other less desirable everyday hired desk. It's early enough for it all to sink in.
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What's the condition

I was up at 4:20 am this morning. It is becoming a habit. It was intentional and not caused by any malady, insomnia, or condition. I meant to get up and run and it's what I did. Granted, at that hour I am only allowed to run at the gym since it's pitch dark outside and going out doors alone isn't allowed to me under those circumstances.

It's the first day of August and also a Monday. It's perfect timing to renew my goals and motivations. I've been working toward getting more miles and finding ways to gettting them done. I allowed myself the time and patience to experiment with different times and it wasn't happening in the afternoons.

I started giving the mornings a try even if it meant I had time for only 3 miles on the treadmill at that early hour. I managed a quick, half cup of coffee, drove the half block to the gym and ran half a 10K. Then I would rush home to shower, dress, and change to be at my desk by my normal 6:30 am. The times I did this in July worked well. I adjusted to it and my miles accumulated better than in the past few months.

So August has started and I've already banked a few miles. I'm renewed and motivated. The early morning gym stops are working. I checked to see what condition my condition was in and it turned out I'm in pretty good condition.

Bring it.
TT

Make Time Now

There are times it feels as if so much is stretched out in front of you. You want to arrive but there is so much to cover before you get to that place you are trying to see in the distance. It can be as simple as moving toward a weekend. The hurdles of the everyday, mundane are stacked and arranged to block you from that Friday afternoon quitting time bell. It's all you think about as you trudge your way through all the obstacles and wait counting down the hours.

Stop counting. Stop looking so far ahead. Where are you now and what else can you do to make that mundane more than it's been in the past. If you are feeling that everything is so far out of reach it's time to start making time work of us now. Not that distance future we keep imagining because there is no proof it will be as we imagined when we get there. It's especially true if you can't think about what you are doing now. Give it more thought. Stay with the now and when those overwhelming feelings of wanting to live in the future start to creep in, think of how to be grateful and make the moments of now work.

It's about right now and making what you have and do count. It's not about counting the hours away for an unforeseen imaginary future. It may seem to be better but the time to live is now.
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Rise and Shine

Monday morning.

I can't say it's bright and shining because it's still dark outside. But there is no doubt the sun will come out and set everything aglow. The routine is in place and I will battle out the day. I'll make an effort to move away from my desk and take a turn around our campus which is our workplace. It will go on fast or slow but it will still turn over into a new day and then another. 

This moment is the only thing real and then it moves on as you find yourself in that new moment again. Stay with it. Go with that flow and not get bogged down in the worry of what already happened or what you might come up against in the future. It's right now you get to experience so do it. This event that is right now is what you have so use it the best way you can. Watch the day as you are given the opportunity to be as bright and shiny as the day itself. Choose your actions with gratitude and the routine can turn into a better place to be. It's those moments that you choose which makes a Monday morning better than a Monday morning.

TT

Plotter or Pantser

Where do you start?

It's usually with a blank page. It might be an open word document or a clean sheet of paper. You can do this electronically or grab a pencil or pen and use those fingers and hands to grip or type. The method doesn't matter. It's all a matter of what resources you have at the moment. I've tried both, all, and variations.

I think the key is to start and don't worry about the methods. It should be about the idea of filling the blank clean page with ideas. Can you do that? Can you get down some type of idea that formed from nothing. Can you take those few words that were scribbled or typed down into a first sentence and make them into something more. 

That's the easy part because from then on it only gets more difficult. Are you a pantser or plotter? Believe it or not these are real and true writing methods. How you proceed puts you into one of these categories. If you take the time to outline, and plot and fill in all the blanks of where a story might go you are a Plotter. It should not be confused with someone who writes a story by the seat of their pants. That would be a Pantser. A writer that just dives right in and tries to see where it will go. A good many successful writers do it one or the other way.

I'm not that good to land on either side of this fence. I've started out both ways. I've planned and wrote and also did some pantsering on others. So far I only have some pretty rough drafts no matter which method I used. But I have them and that is the way it starts. It could be worse. I could still have a blank page.
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'Just Write' Isn't Always Right

Write it all down.

Keep writing.

Just write.

I was told to do all of the above. It was drilled into me over and over. Keep it up. Get the words down. Keep at it. Write it and don't worry about it now but keep stringing words together. Put a timer on and go until the alarm goes off. Just words and more words and then more words.

I tried and I did. I had a hard time because I didn't know what the heck I was doing. I didn't understand the concept of writing words to only have words. I was trying to do more than fill up a page and I didn't see how 'just write' was right. I fought it the entire way but I kept doing it because it was the way to do it. Everyone said so.

What I found out was that they were holding back on other things I should have known. Maybe they didn't know. Maybe they couldn't figure it out so gave the only advise they ever heard. I wrote an entire 70,000 first draft completed piece of fiction that is only good for pages and pages of word after word. That was when I realized how much longer I was going to have to keep writing.  This was only a first draft and everyone will tell you it's not the stopping point. There are many more drafts to come.

Wait, wait, wait. Can I get ALL the instructions at the beginning, please? Just write is a good way to start but it was being taken as the instructions for completion. Sorry. It isn't. There is so much more. I should have known that was too simple. Just write? Sure. Look at me go. I was envisioning the brilliance and how each word should be engraved on a page. It was fun. It made me feel like rock star but it wasn't real.

What this did for me was give me the experience. It takes work and more words to fix all the words already written. That is the process. It's the part no one mentioned. Maybe they didn't know but I know now. I understand that after you write the words upon words, you can get down to the business of getting rid of a lot of those words so you can write the correct ones. All that writing, no matter how good or bad, gives the foundation to pull it all into what it should be. I know what to change since it exists on the page. All those words already created can be shaped into what they should become. Will it take work? Yes. Lots. It will need to be broken down to be built back up. It will take major deleting of words to be replaced by more words that will do it all better. So I've come full circle with the advice as I start again.

Write it all down.

Keep writing.

Just write.

I can see where this advice can seem to be a little deceitful in its representation. I am figuring out the process and will be more planned and a little more calculated when I begin again. It will still have elements of the 'just write' theory in order to let those creative ideas flow but will have a firmer hand on the overall progression of the plot and characters. Maybe the advice was good and I had to experience it to learn the process. Maybe. But is doesn't seem just right.
TT

Making it new again

Here is what you do with most new, exciting projects.

You start to a build up and store a bundle of energy . You can't wait to get started and think about all the exciting ways it will make you better, more confident, stronger, give you more expertise and a feeling of accomplishment. It makes you feel energized. You also have a certain amount of anxiety about the unknown and that trepidation can pull you forward and fuel you on to what you are about to embark on doing. It's a natural course of feelings and actions when we are looking forward to that new, exciting project.

You prepare mentally before you start even if it's in different degrees and times. Eventually, you get started or sometimes, if you are like many, you only keep thinking about that new exciting project you want to get started on doing. It becomes a circle of thought. It is sometimes fits and starts and bits and pieces of that one thing you keep wanting to do but never quite have the time. It's that trepidation that was supposed to pull you forward and fuel you and it's only creating fear in your mind that you somehow can't achieve that project you've been spending so much time and effort trying to do.

So now, all you have to show are fragments of things that was supposed to be a started project. It seems a lot of effort for a poor amount of work. You start judging yourself through the fragments. All the energy that started out so positive has given way to a mind set that crossed the line and pulled you the wrong way. It would be an easy fix to quit. It would be easy to give in and say it didn't work out which would be a true statement at that given time and in your judgmental state. You could also try to stir up those original ideas of being better, confident, stronger. You already have more expertise because you have actually worked on those bits and pieces, those fits and starts and fragments. They didn't come out of nowhere. It's only time to regroup and refocus. It time to use what you have already created and get excited about that again.

Everything starts if you make the move. It always starts at different points whether you have done them before or not. Don't spend the time thinking about where you are too long. Each time you work on it, get started again with the same bundle of energy you had that first time and don't bother with the rest. Use that anxiety the way it should be used as a fuel to power you forward and see how much better it works. Everything can be a new project no matter how many times you have done it before. Just remember, it's the first time you are doing it right now.
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Focus on the real work

You might have noticed I've gone back to my original layout of this blog. It's almost the same one I had when I originally started writing here at this spot. The header is a picture of all my handwritten notes that happened to be on my desk at the time. My glasses are in the corner because I don't need them for close up work and reading. Okay, yes, all of it was sort of staged for the picture. But everything is all real and still appears this way on some occasions. My desk will be covered in handwritten notes, pens, pencils, glasses, flash drives,calendars, and note cards. It turned into how I would work instead of the staged representation it started out to be.

There must be a lesson learned somewhere in my reflecting on the past that made me go back to the beginning. There are times you can get so far along on your journey that you forget the reasons you started out in the first place. You go so far into what you are doing, it becomes such a routine, you keep on doing it and lose track of all it meant except the doing. You can travel very far this way but when it loses purpose it's time to stop and think about it. So I did and went back to originals to find out why I started.

Somewhere along the way my ideas changed. They moved in a different direction from what I was doing in the beginning  as sometimes they should. I changed my header picture, changed text, then removed it completely. It was part of the journey. My desk became more cluttered with handwritten notes of ideas. It all seemed to be clicking along at a good pace. But soon all it became was an accumulation of nothing. It was a collection of fragments, pieces, and bits that didn't come together in any way except for the routine, to keep on doing. It was a misdirection that made it seem as if I was really doing something when I wasn't. So I stopped. I thought. I cleared my desk and spent time, not on writing down any more ideas for what I could do, but going back to see where I started and why. It was so I could get to the real work.

The idea was never to write snatches of ideas on paper. It was to write entire thoughts, entire stories. It's too easy to get caught up and get purposely distracted by the bits and fragments. It gives you the false feeling to doing the work when you're not. So I cleared my desk of all the unrelated notes and threw them out. The focus is back with a stronger sense of where I am and where to go from here.

The original header is a reminder of where my focus was at the start since I seem to forget when I get busy. I'm well ahead along on this path. I'm no longer at the beginning but I'm no longer willing to wander around lost. It's good to sit still and find that purpose again in order to find a stronger stride.

My desk is cleared. 

TT

After Just Write is Just Work

I never started writing with any expectations. If anything, I tried to avoid thoughts of being published. It was too much to consider I could ever achieve that lofty a goal. Those thoughts were pushed to the very back of my mind. I told myself to never think about something that will never happen.

But at the beginning, I couldn't help but imagine writing that piece of work that would skyrocket to the top. It would be so brilliant it would be snatched up and rise to immediate popularity. The first words I put down were so good. It was an honest feeling. I was so attached and excited about the fact I put all these words down that they must be excellent. Except they weren't. Some were very good. Some were brilliant, like I thought, but many were not brilliant. Some weren't even good. Many were downright bad but it's hard to see through all the emotional excitement. 

I would feel foolish about so much of it when it was re-read. It was awful, I can't. 

Then the realization dawned. It takes work. Those words you've written are only the beginning. Detach yourself from the crush you have on your own words and get to the real work at hand. This takes time and effort. First words are not the end. Yes, it's taken a while to get them all down and that is what everyone says to do. Just write. But you need to understand that isn't the end. You haven't finished and you've only begun at that point. Now the work starts and if you can't get beyond that thought, it will go nowhere no matter how much you have done so far. If you stop there, then you have reason to feel foolish.

So I've written some pieces. Next step is to get to work.

TT

Writing: An Enjoyable Challenge

I purposely stopped writing here for a while. I've done a bit of reflecting. Correction. I've done plenty of reflecting but that covers more subjects that I need to discuss in this space. In particular, I've given some thought to this blog.

I started this blog with the intention of getting myself to simply put words down on a page. I had the problem of never getting past a few paragraphs because I would continually edit those paragraphs to the point of never writing any more. This was a discipline for me to stop the editing and just get the words down. It's worked and I went off and wrote about anything and everything and then I got lost. I needed to pause a moment and figure it out again. So I went back to the beginning.

I know what you are thinking. Yawn. But I'm not going into all the unnecessary details about how, what, and why of all this thinking. I'll spare everyone the tiring past of the conflicting thoughts and impressions that have been in my mind. Let's stay with the present. Not yesterday or what went on before, but the here and now. Let's stay in the present. Today.

I questioned myself and asked why keep writing? The answer was pretty simple. I enjoy writing. It's a hobby, a pastime, an enjoyable challenge. I don't have any high expectations of where it will take me but that was never the intention. It was the idea of sitting down and writing thoughts right now. It was to get past more than two paragraphs without stopping.

So why stop.
TT

Past Weekend

A long weekend has gone by, another month is almost past. Thunderstorms still hail down and spring has started to turn to summer.

I did some grocery shopping and stocked up on some good food for the week. We barbecued one day which allowed us to have a plate of food without cooking yesterday. We did more major spring cleaning of another room, which resulted in less clutter, more trash to take out, and a cleaner space. The front windows were installed and look great, the storm door arrived and we will set up a date for installation. I ran a 25K relay on Sunday morning and we all got finishers medals. My time wasn't too bad for my leg of the run.

There is more to do, more to clean, and plans being made. There seems to still be a lot going on and that's how it should be.
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Ricky, the fish

Poor, Ricky, the beta fish didn't make it through yesterday. I came home and his little bubbling fish tank was no more and neither was he. Actually, Jay was off yesterday and cleared the entire area by the time I came home. It looks really odd in the tiny space without it being taken up with the tiny structure that Ricky inhabited. Jay bought the fish for the grand kids, promptly named him Ricky, and then had to feed him and change out the water in the tank.

From what I could tell it was natural causes. We had the little guy a long time or at least what we think is very long for a beta fish. We haven't told anyone yet. The grand kids don't know but I'm sure we will all get past it soon enough. Jay says he isn't getting another one. This is just one of those things that happen and we are going to have a much harder time taking care of our very old dog. Poor Tobi girl has gone blind although she still prances out in the middle of the yard in the rain. She's adjusted very well for such an old girl and yes, it's an actual prance.

I didn't mean to start writing about a fish, or a dog. You come to realize how long you've had these pets around when you see a small space that is vacated. Seems we aren't doing so well in the pet department.

TT

Give it another go

Here it is a new week. It's almost funny that the weekend when I have the most free time is when I can't seem to keep up. I guess that is why I attempted this commit to change of routines during the work-week of Monday through Friday.

I kept myself very busy during the weekend while I had a 5.5 mile run, made it to the Magic Shop to take some photos and attended the book reading by a local author that wrote a YA book that featured a magic shop inspired by ours. Sunday was a complete spring cleaning of the bedroom. It was a total wipe down for dust on every piece of furniture while curtains were washed, along with windows. Carpet was vacuum, even to the extend of moving the bed and nightstands to get every last dust mite. New pillow, bedspread and sheets were ordered to arrive Tuesday. Ceiling fan and light fixtures didn't get forgotten, either, and are shining all that brighter.

So after I worked away the weekend it's time to figure out what the goals should be for this week. I'm a little more motivated today since I've found there is some type of balance within it all. Things can change, albeit slowly, if you stay with it. So I'm giving it another go this Monday through Friday. It's time to organize myself quickly. That is another key. Don't spend too much time thinking about what the goals should be. Take down your first thoughts and go with it. It's only for five days.
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Week of Change

I started out this week with the idea to make some afternoon changes in my routine from Monday through Friday. I wanted to break out of a rut and routine that was unproductive, uninspiring, and making me less than happy with how I was spending my time between work and free time.

My main objective was to make a conscience effort to do something different than what I was currently doing. I wanted to change it up but knew if I tried to do anything too drastic, too soon, it wouldn't work.

I decided to pick a couple of things I could do in that time frame and set up simple goals for the entire week. I knew what it would calculate to each day but didn't it necessarily mean anything if I did less one day or the other. It was about doing something other than what I was currently doing.

So, here it is Friday after I started and I can take a look at the overall outcome. One of the goals I set up wasn't touched at all. I could say it was an epic fail. I could shrug and say I might as well give up. I could, but I did work on the other goal. I can't say I met the entire goal which could be another fail but that really wasn't the objective of this entire experiment. It really wasn't a fail since I'm not having that feeling of being in that unproductive rut after these few days. I have more work to do on this and these goals but for a first time try, I did pretty well.

I will say it hasn't been easy. I could easily go back to that old routine but this idea of making me think to do something else has made a difference. I have a little more to show for my time. I feel a little better about how it was spent. That was the objective of this week and although I didn't touch one goal and was just under reaching the other it proved to work. It's going to take a little more to keep it up but it's baby steps, and not talking about epic fails, but keeping the true objective in mind. Take it slow and steady. Round one done. Let's keep at it.
TT

Some Subtleties

There was some real effort made yesterday afternoon. Actually, the efforts are continuing all this week but yesterday was a  productive day in comparison to the few other days. At this point I can see where there is a defined ebb and flow of how progress is made in trying to make these few simple changes.

This isn't an exact science and thank goodness for that! If I had to stick to some pre-conceived, pre-measured, pre-calculated theory, I would have a hard time even thinking I could make it work much less start to getting any of it done. It wouldn't be the way to go and I don't think there are too many people that could get past the idea of attempting it that way. No. I didn't have any way-out there formula when I came up with this idea. It was simply a common sense approach to making things better.

Ruts are no place to be. Routines are all well and good if they are working for you but when you get to the point to know something isn't work it's time to change. Nothing drastic, nothing to far out there. That might work after major life experiences but in the day-to-day simple is how to go. It's been a mellow wave of not much to notice going on so far. Things are being done differently but with such subtleties you might not notice. It's probably why it felt as if there was more effort yesterday than any of the other days. And that can be a good thing.
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Taking the Small Steps

I've made the smallest steps possible for progress through this five day goal setting expedition. I haven't exactly been going at any of this with any type of force to making these goals early. I've probably put myself into a position that I will have to put some real muscle into getting them all accomplished in my five day time frame. I can see myself cramming on the last day in order to get the tasks done.

That isn't really the point of this whole experiment. The idea isn't to scoot along and then bombard at the end to save the finish. But I can't even say it has been a lost cause, either. I may not be hitting these goals as hard as I could, or should, or would, but the small steps count when they are going in the right direction. I've made the smallest amount of progress on these particular goals but I have made changes that effect the overall purpose of this week of doing differently.

They say to take the small steps. Crawl before you walk and walk before you run. Then they say to start over and try it again. Small steps don't seem so much when it's all your taking on a five day journey. The results won't always be exactly what you thought you were starting out to accomplish. They may be less than the actual you had in mind when you started.

The key is to keep taking the small steps the entire five days no matter the final results. I may not be able to check off every bullet point of goals I set up at the beginning of this week. It doesn't mean I'm not working toward the end results. They say change comes slowly and I have a couple more days to go. So far so good. It isn't going to change the world, even mine at this point, but it is making a difference and that's the point. Small steps can get you anywhere you want to go if you just start taking them.
TT

Short list

I made myself a short list of goals for the five days this week, Monday through Friday. I put up some simple and not too far-reaching ideas of things that would be good to get done. It's only been one day and I've had a hit and a miss. Since the goals can be cumulative for the end of the week but worked into smaller increments each day, it should be easier to maintain and get something done each day.

Changes are tough and these aren't even that big a deal. It's only when you have ingrained some bad habits into your daily routine for so long that it becomes uncomfortable to do them differently even if you don't like the fact that you are doing them. I'm talking about how hard it is to change those comfortably bad things you've been doing and not the new changes you're trying to put into place.

I'm not sure why it's always easier to go with the flow of whatever you've already been doing for so long even if you know it isn't any good than changing it for what you know is better. It is such a stubborn, hard-headed dilemma to put yourself in. It would be much more logical to change for the better yet that comfort of falling into the same old routine always seems to be easier.

Work for it, buttercup. Who said change is easy? And why shouldn't you work just a little harder to make some changes for the better. Because you know they are and think of the new adventures that will come from doing something new and better. How much better will the overall feeling be when you are not thinking of how you should change things?

It's a short list of goals for only five days. Yesterday, I had a hit and a miss. It sounds like I'm about on track. That's the way these things go.
TT

Ghetto no more

We started our refurbishing of the front of the house project. Actually, we are more than started. We have ordered the two windows that will replace the old aluminum single glass windows with the new up-to-date, fancy-schmancy, energy efficient product of the ages. We have also ordered the Security Front Door, not to be confused with a Storm Door, which is the beat the glass with a bat and can't break it door that is higher priced. We have the paint to apply to the entire front railings and trims that will make the entire front entrance less 'ghetto' as Jay called the entire area.

This project was his idea. I didn't realize with all the improvements we have done to the house that the front was looking like a house from the 'ghetto', but obviously I wasn't paying attention. The area was in need of a good paint job. Those two front windows are the last on the bottom floor of the house that we haven't replaced. (We still need to replace all the upstairs windows, but let's leave them ghetto for a few more months - after this project is finished would be good timing). I guess I like the idea of replacing the flimsy iron second door on the front with the fancy-schmancy and pricey security door which will be more intimidating. When it's all done, it will be a big improvement.

We are waiting now for the windows and doors to come in and be installed. I think that means I need to get to sanding down the railings and trim. There is paint that needs to be applied. Like I said, it's Jay's project. I'm just not sure how much sanding and painting he will actually do, but it will look so much better than ghetto when it's all done.

It better.
TT

Fly by

I don't remember where I left off. Does it matter? Ummm. I immediately glance over at my calendar as if it's my point of reference for where I am. It's just about the middle of the month. Is that the gauge?

It's a pretty good idea of how things have been going lately. Very quickly. I am here and then there in a few seconds flat. It seems that way. I mean, it must be true since the calendar says so. But the good news is that it's Friday and almost my weekend. I will fly through the work day and need to arrange myself properly to see what the agenda holds.
TT

Five-Five

May 5th.

5/5 - Cinco De Mayo - Everything is coming up fives today. Does that mean a 5-miler? That might be a good approach for today. Five miles might be a good number since today is so full of fives, fives, fives. It's easy to say that now when I can't head out and do it this moment. I'd be happy to do it now. We shall see how it goes later this afternoon when I have the time. But I think I'm putting that number in my head or it was in my head and I will use the number.

I got the download for the new Nike+ application. It isn't out for mass consumption and actually I was picked as one of their beta testers. I scanned through it very quickly and will need to take a little more time to see all it offers. It looks like the running tracker is still pretty much the same so I can still use that with little effort or change but it has more options that I need to take a look-see of all it provides. I guess then I get to let them know what I think. Maybe I should come up with five things I notice about the appl. That would fit right in for today with all the fives.
TT

Two Days done

May 3rd.

Monday came and went as they always do. There wasn't much that happened that wasn't out of routine. It's was a cooler day than expected, it drizzled some rain in the morning, but other than those things there wasn't much to set it apart from any other Monday that comes along.

Here is the one thing that might kick it out of the norm. Even after getting some work done after work at home, I geared up and went for that run I thought about doing that very morning. I didn't let the time and attitude slip into a nightly coma and overtake my sensibilities. I actually made it through a good 3.5 - 4 miler. Add that to my list and I have a two day stretch going on here.

I know. Not much. But today is only day three of the month and I have two runs in. Starting one run at a time.
TT

In-between now and later

May 2nd.

It's early Monday morning and I'm ready to head out to work. I've flipped my manual calendars on my desk at home to reveal this new month of May getting started. I'm sure all my electronic devices have already flipped themselves over. In any case, it's all a new ball game now. The slate of last month is cleared. I started out yesterday with a good 5 mile run and plans are for at least a 3 miler this afternoon.

I have a lot of day in-between now and then. I know how things can change in a instant. I tried to hide behind the thought I needed some motivation yesterday to keep it all going. I don't know if I was looking for long term or just short but I realized it can only be found by doing the thing I think I need motivation to do. Nike's slogan sort of has it right. Just do it. Keep it up. Let's go and get it done.

I ate myself some cake yesterday along with the rest of the menu of Filet Mignon, Shrimp Scampi with homemade pasta and grilled asparagus.

Working some of this off might be considered motivation for today.
Just do it.
TT

Let's go

May 1st.

It's a Sunday for this first day of the new month. May Day. A festival of Spring, cause for celebration, and let's eat cake. Not this instant, of course. The cake is for later.

I started off with a five mile run for this fifth month of the year. I started the day earlier sitting in front of my laptop searching 'motivation' as if I could breath it in from the internet. I only got as far as a few lines of offerings. The first was explaining there were two types of motivation, another claimed 6 types, and yet another said the magic number was four types. I realized at that point in my brief summary readings that if there were so many types of motivation, why was it so hard to keep it going? I learned just enough from those sentences to be dangerous, if motivation can ever be considered that. I also realized I was wasting a perfectly good morning sitting reading instead of going out and chasing down my motivation. I mean, what was I doing sitting in front of a computer trying to find something that can only be found by doing the thing you think you need motivation to do.

Do I ever think about motivation when I'm doing the things I want to do? No. So why search for it. The only way to find it is to do it. So I did. Five miles worth of motivation and soon comes the celebration, and then cake.

Actually, we are celebrating Dante's birthday today (his birthday is Tuesday) and I found an old recipe that called for squares on unsweetened baking chocolate. I hadn't used that in years upon years ago. So here is the cake...I wasn't kidding.

Let's go. Eat cake!
TT

No time to slide

I'm trying to figure out this last day of the month. Is it a by-day? Do I get a pass to slide? Since it's the last day of the month that turned toward the dark side of not getting things done, does it mean I don't have to do anything today? Or is today a primer for revved things up for the coming month?

I get to choose.

But honestly, I don't have the time or patience right now to brood over which way I should be looking at this situation. Looking and analyzing doesn't get anything actually done. And really, I have some things to do.

I guess that figures it out. Get started. You already know what to do. Start doing it.
TT

Plans anyone?

This month started out to be my time for re-figuring and recalculating and possibly getting myself on track again. I was going to rethink my goals, find ways to achieve them, and pound them out with renewed motivation.

Wow. That totally didn't happen. Here it is, almost the end of a perfectly good month, that could have been to a perfectly good start to a perfectly well-laid plan and I totally spaced out. I didn't get anywhere close to getting anything done that was proposed. I don't think I did, but since I don't even remember what all those plans were I'd have to go back and check. You know. I'd have to check the plans that I'm positive I didn't get anywhere near doing so I can be sure I didn't get any done. Whatever they were - those plans.

Sometimes, that's just the way it goes. You think things are so very important that you plan them all out in precise detail only to realize making plans doesn't make them more important. If they were that important I might have gotten more done this month. Maybe. Except it turned out a lot was going on this month that took me away from all the plans. It was important.

Or maybe this is a well planned excuse being used in the aftermath of not following the plan.
TT

Always something

There will always be more rain, more laundry, and more food to buy and cook. Let's keep the wheels turning before they all fall off and then have to deal with an entirely different problem. You don't know how good you have it. Don't ignore all the possible positives around you just because it's easier to pay attention to the negative. Those pesky negatives are stage hogs. They mug for attention but aren't worth the time. Pull away and look at all that good right there in front of you.

It might take a while to get behind all the waving and annoying things standing in front of you but well worth the time to see past it. There will always be something. Make it good.
TT

A new jig

I have myself back home. My real home, not the one I moved away from many years ago and visited in the last flash of a day or two. It felt as if I was two days on the road and that pretty much is accurate.

But the time is now to look ahead with a renewed freshness that comes with unexpected change. Open the eyes, see the same in a different light and perspective, and give it all a new chance. Combine what you know about the old and put it to good use in the now. It's sure to make a better outcome in the future.

Home again, home again, jiggety jig.
TT

The stranger

I'm sitting on the patio of the hotel room overlooking the pool. The air is still, the birds are chirping in an endless loop, and I don't have any idea what day it is. I'm not home even though I'm in my hometown. I'm a stranger here, not recognizing this or that but only holding on to vague familiarities. I know how to get from here to there. I recognize this and that but I don't know how I know it anymore. It's like waking from some dream where you're mind has made things that are unknown somehow familiar. It's like I'm supposed to know and I can recollect but I really don't know - except I kind of do know.

So I'll sit here a few more minutes. I collect my thoughts and listen to the birds. There isn't a single ripple in the pool.
TT

Time stash

As always with a trip looming, I wake early without the restraints of routine and need to organize to be prepared. I need to do this and then that, I need to pack and what is that. It's the mind scurrying lightly over details that may or may not have any significance. It's the way it occupies the time between now and then, between here and leaving. It's the measure between you're not there yet so activity becomes the barest of minimums, reserved for later when it's needed.

But it shouldn't be put on hold. Time is now and in this moment. What can be gleaned from the happenings of right now and how does it play. There is no time stash reserved for later. It's what you do now. We will get to then soon enough. Let's work with right now and pull out our gratitude for it.
TT

Flowing wet

The heavens opened up and cried long and hard. It's still in the midst of sorry, and flowing wet continues as the day tries to dawn darkly.

We are needing to make a trip to our hometown for the worst possible reason. Jay's sister past away yesterday afternoon after a long bout with emphysema. She was too young but too frail. I am headed to work this morning until we hear the information for the arrangements and then will be driving the long drive, to hug the right people.
TT

Sheesh Syndrome

Did you ever get into the syndrome where you know the body is willing but the mind is weak? When you get older, you can even trade the two off depending on what rational you feel like using. Oh, it's the body that's weak, no today I just don't feel like it, I'm thinking it's my (insert ailing ache of the day) can all be interchangeable reasons not to do something that is on the list of to-do's. You're older. You're not supposed to do all those things like before. You hear it all around you, all the time.

Then you start using some of that reasoning to be lazy. It has nothing to do with age, or aches. It isn't anything but sheer baby-whining, spoiled-brat, waa-waa temper tantrum, I'm not gonna, so no.

Sheesh. It always seems more logical the day after you miss a scheduled run. Why did I decide NOT to run yesterday? It was on the schedule. I as up for it. Then, what? I talked myself out of it for what? Why? Maybe the question should be, why not?

I'll say right now, this morning, that I'll make it up this afternoon. I'm scheduled 'off' today so it's a perfect slot. It's a bummer. I'm already sliding down that slope of body willing/mind weak mentality. What's up with the mind, lately? Get your head on straight, stupid.
TT