Turn it up

Let's go ahead and close out this month with a little rain all day. It's okay. Rain is good.

I've got a nice little dough rising and the warm smells of that bread will be coming from the oven soon. There is nothing that can wipe the dampness of the day away better than baking. Warm crust with soft centered texture, dripping with a little cheese and tomato hits the perfect end of the month spot. Wash it down with a cold brew and turn up the ZZ Ward. Sounds like a real good end-of-the-month Saturday night.
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Good sense

Quietly.

It seems to be the way this Saturday morning is unrolling. A little cooler than it's been the last few days. I'm not sure we got the rain they said we would or not. I can't hear it. It's just very still. It's a perfect time to take that deep breath, sip that coffee slowly, and know the day is all mine. It is certainly giving me reason to pause. The scene was already set for me. Thank goodness, I had the sense to notice.
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Great week

Friday. What a great week.

Let's whoop it up today and celebrate. I don't have a particular reason except lately I've just wanted to change things up. Let's do the routine but in a different way. How can I tweak the regular. How do I slightly alter the same-ole. Don't give it a lot of thought but don't immediately disregard the thought that passed through your head. It might work and if it doesn't, you didn't put a lot of thought into it so no harm. Even if it doesn't work, it might give you another idea. It seems to work that way.

So let's celebrate for no reason.
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Fun

Let's get into the swing of things!

It's such a fun phrase. It's almost an attitude of "come on, let's get going! Let's do this with some (gusto overused, fake-sounding) enthusiasm!" It's about being active, making progress and having some fun while you're doing it. I'm in for some of that. I can go for it. Not sure why that came to mind this morning. It might be the change in the weather for the better.
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Do-over

It feels like the beginning of the week even though it's already Tuesday. Am I getting a do-over?

It's true. Every day is the possibility of doing it again. Whatever we did - good, wrong, fail, succeed - we get a new day to try it all again. We can drown ourselves in the muck of all the things that could have been done better or done at all. We can think about the ways that should not have been attempted in the way they were attempted. It can be a day-to-day struggle to keep our heads above water to get through it all. But it all comes down to a new day is a new day. It's a do-over every day. Here and now is the time to try it again without the muck because we already know what that feels like. We are a day ahead because we already know what the wrong and fails feel like and can avoid them today. Even if it's only a slight verge away from what we know to avoid. Even if it's a small step in the other direction.

It's do-over Tuesday. And in case, we don't get it right. We can have another one tomorrow.
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Pinched nerve and ITP

This morning there is a slight struggle with a pinched nerve in my lower back. It's merely an annoyance that hasn't left me alone yet after two days. It isn't bad but it's there. I'll have to remember to get up and walk around more today instead of sitting at my desk for hours with bad posture.

It's also a reminder that my self-induced sabbatical is over. My excuse to lighten up on my running mileage and to allow myself to eat anything and everything with abandon is over. It started right after my last annual checkup when all my tests were fine. There was only one thing that the doctor was concerned about, but he only had me come back for blood work after 3 weeks. That was the end of October and that second blood test had the doctor sending me to a specialist. I was fine, but my palettes were reading 80,000 and then 60,000. They should range from 150,000 to 400,000. Great. Here I go again with the stupid blood business. I've had bouts with anemia in the past.

After several appointments with the Hematologist it seems I have a condition called ITP. Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP). Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? My immune system likes to go after my palettes - not much anything else but it has a penchant for gobbling my platelets. It's a condition. People have it and go ahead with everything called life. I have it checked every couple of months with my next appointment at the end of February.

So I took some time off - a sabbatical of sorts that coincided with the holidays and bad weather. Now I have an annoying bit of a pain in my back that is telling me to get going again. Hibernation period is over. It's time to come out into the light. And that ITP thingy?  I never even knew I had it, so why should it make any difference now.
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Bday cake

I knew you were coming so I baked a cake.

It's Selma's birthday today. I didn't think she should make her own cake so I made it for her. I knew the boys were coming over yesterday afternoon, so I baked it and let it cool by the time they arrived. Then we got down to the fun part of frosting and decorating. I split the two layers into four so we could put frosting between more layers. On the first layer we spread some frosting, I let them sprinkle walnuts and then add the next layer, frosted, added walnuts and repeated. We even put raspberries in the third layer and both berries and walnuts on top!

I think they did a great job of decorating their mom's birthday cake. Happy Birthday! Can't wait for a slice.
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Find the joy

There is always a point when we only go through the motions of life. Whatever your life is, there is a pattern taken up and used day after day. It's our routine, and our way of doing things. It's the way we have settled in to getting through whatever we need to do, in order to keep doing what we are doing. Sometimes that routine isn't really the best way or even a good way to do things, but it's what we do and is comfortable because we are used to doing it that way. Many times we know it isn't a good way to do things but continue because we don't want to think about having to make it better or different. There is a level of fear that comes with change. There is the 'what if' factor.

And what if those routines and patterns are working well? What happens when you find yourself in a position where all those patterns and routines you put into place are moving you toward where you want to go? You might be surprised to find there can still be that feeling of going through the motions.

When it all comes down to it, we are all searching for the best way to be happy. We all are doing things to lead us to that wonderful place. We do them the right way, the wrong way, the best way, and every other way we can think of doing them. Sometimes we have to do things the wrong way to get them right. But we need to remember to put aside the fear and all the 'what if's' and connect with the joy that is already inside each of us. It isn't a destination, a wonderful place to get to, but something we have the ability to find at any point in time if we decide to connect to it. It can make all the ugly, bad, and good routines that much better. It can make that moment happen right now.

I must be finished with my thoughts. The washer just played a tune that it's done and I need to move the towels into the dryer.  Connect to the joy you already have inside.  I bet you'll smile the next time you're doing whatever your doing.  Even laundry.
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Gear up

All hail the last day of the week! After an active evening of cleaning, and baking, and packaging, and labeling, I went ahead and cleaned again and made broccoli stir-fry for dinner. Active is good, being productive is great. It's the best way to spend a Thursday evening so you can bask in the feeling of accomplishment all day Friday. That's my plan.

And then I can gear up for the weekend, and tonight I'll be making Chicken Piccata.
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Repeat

What's better than getting a cookie order?
How about a repeat order for another 10 dozen!

I got another order for 10 dozen cookies for an Insurance Company I delivered to this past December. It seems the company out of town that ordered for them originally got a lot of good feedback about how much their client liked the cookies, so he is sending them another batch. I'll be baking tonight. I'll be serving up some cookies tomorrow. It's possible to go from better to best even when the weather is cold and rainy. I'll be singing in the rain!
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And then the rains came

The rain is rolling in. Sounds good to me even though I should have already left for work. I'll get up now and go.
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Break the rules

I've already received Lesson Two in my Character writing course I forgot I signed up for last December. It has been in my e-mail inbox since yesterday and I haven't taken a peek at it yet. It seems I'm setting up some type of ritual where I won't open the e-mail until I 'think' I have time to read through the entire text and start (to finish) the exercise.

It will stay in my inbox until I sit up at my laptop and get other things done and then when I still have a larger than needed allotted amount of time will I open it. I can't possibly take a look prior that perfect time to scan any portion of information beforehand.

I made all these rules up on my own, in my head, after only one other lesson. They might seem to make sense but then they might not. Either way, don't you dare sway from the rules.

It's a miracle I get anything done waiting around for everything in the universe to line up for me.
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Jay and the Dream Coat

Jay wanted a new coat. He found one at the beginning of the season that he really liked and was a perfect color. The only thing wrong was they didn't have his size. He left the store after checking all the other options and decided to wait on the purchase. I happened to be with him that time.

He went back to the store several times to see if they received more inventory of that particular coat but they never did. He says he looked around for something else but never found anything. Now, you need to consider the method Jay uses to shop. He goes into the department, glances at the racks, moves toward one that might catch his interest. He moves a few hangers forward, and then he leaves. He doesn't spend a lot of time and he doesn't always look at everything that might be there. He is usually anxious to get on his way if he doesn't see anything at first glance.

In other words, he doesn't know how to shop. Yesterday, we went out together to try to find him a new coat. We stopped at one store, looked at one area and then another. He tried one on but it was a miss. He didn't really like any others so we left and went to another store. Again, we checked what they had and didn't find anything. Before we left, I veered us off to another section of the store and checked a few more. No go. No coat.

After stopping for lunch, he considered going to Burlington Coat Factory. He was undecided since it was farther away. "Yes, let's go," I said. "It's a holiday and we have all day." I could tell by the way he was scrutinizing me that he was considering it and he finally said, "Okay."

We arrived and they had an entire men's section on one side of the store. We made our way through racks of shirts, and jeans, and suits and didn't really see the outer wear we were looking for. Maybe it was too late in the season. It's hard to believe a Coat store wouldn't have any coats, but Jay was giving up. I could tell when I suggested a sports coat. He was shaking his head even as he turned toward the exit. He was almost completely out of the store when I was able to scurry fast enough to catch him. "I was going to ask the clerks if there were any other coats." I was pointing at the two clerks five steps away. He turned and headed toward them and asked. They pointed to the stairs leading to a second floor. They were hiding all the outer wear up there.

Again, we go through Jay's ritual. He gravitated toward one rack, pushed a couple of hangers forward and actually pulled one to try on. I pointed to a mirror. He looked himself over and took off the jacket. He moved to another rack and repeated. I could tell it wasn't going well and he was ready to leave. I, instead, moved toward another rack and another. He surprisingly did the same and pulled one out he seemed to like. But, drat again, it wasn't in his size and his interest was waning fast. I scooted a few hangers and found the coat in the right size. "Here, try this one."

Jay put it on and walked over to the mirror. He liked it! Jay liked it! He stretched out one arm and said, "But the sleeves are too long." I reached over and flipped the sleeve cuff over. "I can fix that," I said. Jay nodded, "Okay, then. This is nice," and we made our way to the check out counter.

I've already clipped the sleeve lining at the cuff and measured the new length. I'll have it stitched up tonight and ready to wear by tomorrow. He wouldn't have found the coat if I hadn't been there. He tried to escape several times but I persisted. And what exactly did he end up with? Calvin Klein regularly priced $495.95 wool coat with fiberfill lining for $69.95.

I know how to shop.
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Little bit

I got just about everything checked off as done on the list I made. It was the list of things I wanted/should do over the long weekend so it's pretty good that I am heading back to work with all those things accomplished. The weekend itself was really good if I was to make account for everything that happened.

I could go on and say, but I didn't get to do this or that. And that is just me always wanting that little bit more. If I could do all this, then I should have been able to get that little bit more done, or I could have spent that little bit of extra time doing that little bit more of that. It's a way of always seeming to find the spaces that are lacking instead of looking at all the things that actually went on during the same amount of time. You would think I'd have cut that thinking out already. Be realistic...look at that list. Is it really only a few things? and how many out the entire list got done? and you want to only see the ones that weren't finished completely? 

The part that wasn't completely finished is only a little bit of the entire list. And it was a fairly large list. It was a really great weekend.

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And she's off

When did I finish that second cup of coffee? I'm already at the bottom. It's a Monday and a holiday and I'm taking advantage of the extra time for the day to warm up. I've almost gotten through my list of items I scribbled down Saturday morning of things I needed/wanted to get done. I have a few left but most are all neatly checked off. Good work, me.
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Lovely Day

My pot of coffee is made and I've been up a while trying to decide where to take my day. I scanned through a magazine to see if contained any inspiration but it was packed with articles about weight loss and super foods. It's a little disheartening to me since I don't have weight to lose (okay, I can always lose 5 pounds) and as far as super foods, if I don't have a deficient in whatever they are high in, I don't really need them, do I? Someone else's super may be average for my system.

The magazine didn't give much inspiration so I'll have to rely on myself. I don't want to eat sweet potatoes stuffed with black beans and spinach. I don't want to add grapefruit sections to my sliced steak. Somehow none of their suggestions sounded very appetizing or inspirational.

But, it isn't all about food. It's time to wake up my weekend and shake up my routine. I need to pull myself out of the house and enjoy what is promising to be a very nice day. And now that I said that I've got the song in my head...I'm feeling better already. I've got it playing on another tab as I finish this up.  I didn't realize it was released in 1977 (of course-no wonder I feel good about it). You know the one by Bill Withers, here's the uTube music... Lovely Day

I told you I never know where my thoughts will take me.
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Talk about it

It seems I registered for a writing course that started this past Wednesday. I remember back in December I received an email from Creative Writing Now offering a course and an abundance of reading materials for what seemed a very low price. It was something like 26.95 and the course didn't start until many weeks, so I went ahead and took advantage of the offer so I could download all the reading materials into a neat little folder and go happily along my way.

The happiness turned to an "Oh," type of reality when I got an email this past Wednesday containing Lesson One of my eight week course, Bringing Characters to Life. I need to complete the first lesson before next Wednesday when I will get the next e-mail containing Lesson Two and so on for eight weeks. THEN, after I complete that, I will start receiving lessons for another class called, Irresistible Fiction. Boy, oh, Boy, that $26.95 is going a long way. Talk about stretching a dollar. Talk about it being Friday and I haven't even read what I'm supposed to do with Lesson One yet. Talk about the folder of reading material I haven't touched yet. Talk about...

I guess there is no time to actually talk about any of it. Talking about it doesn't get you anywhere. Maybe that is what I was thinking back in December when I thought $26.95 was an incredibly low price to actually do something instead of only reading something.

Good thing I have a long weekend.
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Now the middle

Okay. I think I can now say it's the middle of the month. Don't know exactly why there should be any pomp and circumstance surrounding it but there it is. I jumped the gun last week thinking the 7th day of January felt like the middle. It wasn't, of course. Now it just about is, and I'm not sure why it makes any difference.

It's really been too blurry. The day to day is etched a little too deep so routine rules. The weather has been grey and cold and not showing any signs of giving up it's bleakness. The combination can leave a stale ambiance to wander through leading up to now.

But that was the first part of the month and here comes the last part. As soon as tomorrow, they promise a change in the weather for the better. The routine will go on for a couple more days and then a three day weekend is waiting in the wings. It might be time to stop waiting and get things moving again.
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At least 50 shades

This is where I have to agree (quickly) with anyone I've heard lately that asked, please, please, could I just see the sky and the sun! It might have been me and only me that said that, but it seems I keep hearing it over and over again.  It might be due to the fact that I've only glimpsed a break in the weather briefly two Saturdays ago for 2 hours. The rest of the two, three, or is it four weeks, we have been living in gray, grey, grayer, (it might even total that ridiculous fifty) shades of the sky.

The reason I have to agree (quickly) is because I cannot allow myself to actually dwell or believe it will stay this way much longer. I mean, it's been going on this long and it won't last forever so we must be at the tail end of it. That's my thinking and I'm sticking to it. Enough with the overcast. Be gone you lingering cold climates. I cast you out.

I'm trying to look forward to blue skies and warmer temperatures.
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Edit, edit

I spent more time on the cookie site. I'm trying to fine tune any details that need to be explained or anything that would make it easier to understand. The challenge is using as few words as possible because nobody wants to read a novel if they want to only order a few cookies. It's easy to lose an audience if they see more words than they think they want to mull through. So, I'm trying to get key messages across without being too wordy.

Editing skills in action.
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Mishap on cookie site

Dante was texting me this past Friday afternoon asking questions about the cookie site. He was looking to find another host to force us to update and upgrade our current site. We needed to incorporate our new logo and make the site more current. In the midst of all the texting I told him there were other templates with our current host if he wanted to take a look, but I was okay with searching other companies to do this.

Long story short, he choose another template where we are currently published but instead of being able to work on it in non-production, it immediately killed our current site and made the template live! It had none of our information and after calls and on-line chats to straighten it out, the best they could do was give us a few months refund and an archive of the home page. One page - the site has four, one of them having all our pricing buttons (a real pain) and all my 'About Us' content that I wrote a kazzillion years ago. How was I to reproduce that?

This all happened Friday evening, but the next morning Dante had managed to clean up the home page and also the product page with all the pricing buttons. The site still had some odd spots (like the image of 'our helpful staff' with the picture of some guy with a coffee mug in front of a bunch of lumber). I asked Dante who was the guy drinking my coffee? He told me I needed to do some clean up, too. He couldn't replace the verbage but only used the stock info that was included on the template in some spots.

So I worked on it. I rewrote the 'About Us' and changed info here and there and it's looking more polished and current than the original. I still need to work on it but it only took a little (frantic) time to give it a nice little upgrade. Sometimes, it takes a mishap to straighten things out for the better.
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Best intention

It was my intention to stay indoors all day today. I figured I could pull the chuck roast I had in the freezer, let it defrost, and let it slow braise in the oven. I thought today would be a perfect for an all day laundry marathon (like I even have that much laundry to do-I don't). The idea was to take advantage of my Saturday to stay home. Well, I got my wish! Most of the day has been drizzling rain, and stayed cold all day and I haven't left the house once. Not even to walk to the end of the driveway to check the mail. Uh-uh. No. I'm perfectly happy perched here, there, and most every room, all day long. It's worked out exactly how I intended.

The laundry is humming along, all warm and smelling fresh. It can't compare to the aroma escaping the oven as the beef slowing roasts to fork tenderness. I had an intention for my day and I must say, it has worked out very well.
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Hello, My name is

I fell into my trap of reading another writing newsletter. Actually, I read several. I have more than a few more stashed away for later reading. I  am admitting this like someone with an addiction, or what little I know about organized support groups for over-doing anything. Hello, My name is Tessa, and I'm a read-aholic. My main shame recently is the writing information I am consistently reading. I felt the same way about my constant reading of books until someone pointed out to me it was a good thing. How much better was reading for hours instead of watching TV for hours? They clarified immediately that there really wasn't anything wrong with that either but just a choice on how to spend your free time. That is, as long as it didn't get in the way of something important.

There's the rub. That is where I feel like I keep falling into my own trap. I've gone beyond merely reading writing articles for information but I continually read writing articles to keep myself from actually writing. It's a heck of lot easier to read about doing something than actually doing it.

I heard a quote from a prolific author (on television-wow, the obsession crossed over) that said if you want to be a writer, you need to write. You can't talk about writing, or think about writing, but you need to put the words down and write. (Obviously, that's not a direct quote but I think I captured the message). I'm using reading to avoid writing. I know it and will need to do more than I have to beware of my own traps.
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Half way through the month

I was thinking this month seems to be barreling through the days. It seems we've just started out this New Year and we are well into this month. Then I realized it's only been a week. It's only been seven days (or six - today is the seventh). It just seems that way but I'm only projecting things that aren't necessarily true. Time isn't going that fast. I'm not half way or more through this month. There is plenty of time to go around this month, or today, or this week and if there isn't, there is no reason to think about it.

I think I'm confusing myself. I shouldn't bring up the cold weather, but I think my brain is numb.
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Cold weather adjustments

I have a bad winter-weather attitude. It isn't something that just happened. I've had it forever, as far back as I can remember. I don't see beautiful ice crystals sparkling where they've formed or feel any exhilaration from the cold. I just don't. To me, those ice crystals are deceitful. If I have to get near or around them, I'm sure to find my fingers numb and all that beauty is drained along with the blood in my extremities. It's always uncomfortable and inconvenient. So the longer it stays consistently cold, my attitude turns a little rough. About the weather.

I've worked on that attitude. I'm actually a lot better about the cold than I used to be. I don't dread the entire season any more. But I find I need to tap down that attitude when there is a wave of consistently cold days in a row without an upward temperature spike. It's a work in progress.

I mean it's gonna get cold the same way it's gonna get warmer. I'll ride out the cold so I can enjoy the warm when it comes that much more. You see, I am working on this bad winter-weather attitude. I mean, if I can't change what's happening, then the only thing I can change is how I think about it, right? I think I'm gonna think of the beach.
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Hi-Ho

And it's off (back) to work I go.

After my extensive holiday and vacation, it's time for me to head back to the salt mines although I believe in the animated Snow White movie it was diamond mines. That's makes it a much bigger incentive for returning to work each day. I am going to collect my diamonds in whatever form I find them. It's also another opportunity to change things up from the usual routine. Let's make it interesting and find ways of doing the same things a slightly different way. Not everything, of course, but some things. I will keep in mind and ask, "How can I do this differently." If there is no other way, then the question will be, "How can I think about this differently?" It's sure to give me some new perspectives on the familiar things around me and could possibly keep me open to finding something shiny and new.
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Experience = Knowledge

Last year I spent a majority of my time reading articles on how-to-do-this and how-to-get-that done. It was a teaching experience that I took upon myself in order to fill up on knowledge. I thought to myself, "I don't know how to do that properly, so I better learn more so I can do it the right way."

It was really important to me that I do it the right way and I didn't think I knew how to do that even while I was doing it. I figured if I gathered up as much knowledge about the things I felt I was lacking in I would be able to do them properly, and more easily, and with much more confidence. I would be so good at it, there would be no chance of the thought going through my mind that I wasn't doing it right.

The silliest part was the things I was trying to get so proficient at, were things I just wanted to do and things I enjoyed doing. I was killing the joy of doing them by making out-of-reach goals I would never allow myself to acknowledge, even if I hit them but missed them the next day. So I would go back to reading more to find out what to do instead of taking back the inspiration and motivation I got from actually doing these things. It finally dawned on me that I am so much happier and have learned more from doing these things instead of reading about them.

The knowledge is great. I can't say I haven't learned a lot, but I also took it too far. You can't learn everything from a bunch of articles. You have to get out and do those things you want to do. Besides, when you actually start doing the things you enjoy, it's amazing how many more right ways there are to doing them then wrong ways.
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Bases covered

I've got the laundry completed, cleaned the kitchen, and I have an easy dinner to put together. The house is clean, I got a run in this morning, and even went out and bought myself a couple of new blouses. I think I've covered all the bases for a really fine Saturday.

I even spent some time editing my story. Time for everything and everything in it's time. I did it when I wanted and since I wanted to do it, it got done.  Oh and just in case you are curious, the weather this afternoon was perfection.
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Sorting the weekend

It's the weekend and I finally might be able to sort out what day it is. I've had no idea what time and space I have occupied since I have been off all week and there has been assorted holidays along the way. That always trips me up when trying to pinpoint the day of the week but it's been really spectacular. I could do this long term but not quite yet. I'll have to hold on a little while longer.

I'll get the weather out of the way first thing. We finally had a ferocious thunderstorm last night. The temp right now is about the same it's been all week but (fingers crossed) it will hopefully climb up to 60? sometime today. Who could ask for more. I'll take it.

I might be able to slide into some type of normal routine, if I can remember what that might be. I'll have to head back to work on Monday and if I may be very honest, I haven't given it a thought all week. If the skies clear, I might even decide to head out for some shopping but the day is open and I will see what happens as it happens.

Right now is a good time for a run. I'll have to see how very crowded the gym might be today but, hey, I've managed to get through this part of the year before, until the resolutions fade. We all know how that goes.
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Going well

Day two of year 2015 and it's been the same cold, rainy weather as the last three days (at least) in a row. Now, I know how very much we need the rain but how many cold days and gray skies can one person take? It's been consistently the same poor conditions and I know, I shouldn't be complaining about the weather. It'll change and hopefully as soon as tomorrow. I'm hoping to see a glimmer of sunshine break through, at least that is what is predicted in the forecast. But it's the weather and who can really predict it?

I can't believe I'm going on about the weather. It hasn't exactly stopped me from doing anything that needed to get done. I got to the car dealership and had my oil change and tires rotated. I made it to Sonny's house to feed his dogs while he is out of town. I even got the tree down and ornaments packed away and trash and recycling sorted. Cold weather, rain, with a possibility of sunshine tomorrow isn't really such a big deal but I would rather...

Day two of year 2015 and all I have to do is talk about the weather. Thing must be going well, if that's all there is to worry about.
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Hello, 2015!

January 1, 2015

It's about the time on this very first day of the New Year to start winding down. At least for me, it's about that time, but it wasn't without it's traditional first day of the year meal. I can't think of a January 1st that hasn't started with some fresh, homemade, black-eyed peas on white rice and served with fresh ham. There is a lot of comfort in this truly simple meal that has become a tradition in this home. My boys know it will be simmering on the stove when they decide to stop by and serve up a warm bowl. It's rumored to bring good luck but I think that luck is due to the act of getting together and not the exact food in the bowl. Of course, we love what's in that bowl and wouldn't think of changing it to tease our chances with a year of good luck.

It was also the perfect weather for another bowl of comfort. It's been cold and rainy almost the entire past week and I made another simple food that is known to simmer for hours and warm you from the inside out. My simple fare for New Years Eve dinner was my version of beef pot roast. The beef was braised for hours, slowly on a low temperature stove top, until the broth was thickened and carrots and potatoes cooked through. There is nothing that can replace this type of warmth. It fills the bowl and the stomach but more importantly, warms the heart.

I don't think there could be a better way to start the New Year. Hello, 2015!
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