Pretty good

Let's start Wednesday, middle of the week, end of the month. If I had to give myself a grade for where I am and what I have done this week, I guess I would score a B+. Okay, maybe a B. But, really now, there are no grades that have to be given out or even thought about. I certainly don't want to have to score the flip side when weeks haven't gone so well. Let's agree to dismiss the scoring system. Good thought.

I've managed to run 3 miles each of the past two days and that feels pretty good. Monday was at the gym with the temperatures soaring and yesterday outside with at least 12 degrees cooler than the day before but pretty blustery. I would think it adds a little to the workout when I am battling inclines and force of wind. I'm pretty happy with myself about getting out there at all. I'm prepared for a run at the gym or outside today depending but like I said, feeling pretty good.

I am working my time to get around to pounding out more editing to my novella, Crossed Wires. After I managed to work the prologue into a chapter last Saturday, I'm going to repeat myself and say I'm feeling pretty good about that, too. It's amazing what focusing on the job at hand can do and I seem to be somewhere within the confines of that zone. You know, that place when I am working and not fretting. It makes a world of difference and it shows.

So, middle of the week, looking forward to a new month. Sounds pretty good to me.
TT

Go!

What an enormously productive weekend! Did I get everything done? No, but did you see the extensive list I spouted out yesterday? It was a little insane and expectations should be more realistic.

But the actual amount of items that were completed were very high. So I feel very rejuvenated about starting this new week. I feel as if I have some real momentum to take this feeling with me a little longer. Here we go, Monday. Ready. Set...
TT

Get to it

I've had quite a bit going on this morning and it's only 10:30! Good thing...I have lot's more I want to do!

There needs to be more organization outside with this new deck completed. I have to say it was more than well worth having it done. I've managed to spend more time outside and plan on spending even more. There are some things that were taken off the old deck that need to find a new home even if it means disposal. Some things you keep around and don't realize they aren't needed until they get moved. I have some of those type of items and others that shouldn't have been in the places they were placed. Some adjustments to the new stairs will get some attention. I have more paving stones that need to be rearranged and then some general clutter busting.

Grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, and indoor chores also need to be addressed. I'll also carve out a few more minutes for writing to add to the very good use of time I managed yesterday morning. Some real progress was made on my Crossed Wires story! Moving on, moving forward...got to get to it!
TT

Switching ignitions

I'm in the waiting room of the car dealership. I made the earliest appointment possible on a Saturday to get this ignition switch recall completed on my car. I could be out for a run. I should be out for a run but things need to be taken care of and since I needed to wait the weeks to get the part, I didn't think it would be wise to put off the completion any longer. It's supposed to be a two-hour wait so I came equipped with my laptop.

They serve an incredibly small cup of coffee, in a tiny styrofoam cup, each one poured out individually by a fancy machine that gives you twelve options. I had to search the buttons lined up on the machine to finally located the only button that could satisfy me. 'Regular Coffee' was the closest answer to my question. I watched attentively as it poured a small amount of hot water into the cup. Wrinkles in my forehead must have appeared as I watched it fill a third of the tiny cup with water but then the brown liquid followed, but I still wasn't sure. It was caramel colored and I was getting apprehensive it might be sweetened or have added milk. I stood still and waited, just a little longer, hold on, let the fancy machine do what it's supposed to do. Then it stopped with still a quarter of the cup empty. I thought it had a room for more. Ah well, I'll take it and I did.

I am planning to try a little writing. Surprise! I think it might be a year since I shoved everything away and left it to collect dust. Well, maybe not an entire year but a substantial amount of time. I needed to clear my head. After attacking an entire draft of a novel and starting re-writes, then writing three other shorter pieces, completing one novella, I was feeling isolated and stripped of all confidence. I decided the best thing to do was to learn more. I've scoured and researched more writing sites, articles, and information than any other person could in the same amount of time. I don't have actual statistics to back it up, but come on, if you know me I have a tendency toward obsessive at times? Nah...not really. Well, maybe. Refer above to the coffee paragraph and the mention of running at the very beginning of this post.

The only thing ever holding me back is myself. It's always the case. So, what if I take all that information and apply it without thinking about all the possibilities and outcome? Just work, because it is.

I have some time waiting in the car dealership. It's time to switch faulty ignitions and open up one of those dusty documents.  I don't think it would be wise to put off the completion any longer.
TT

Finished Deck!

 


How about that deck?! Yes. Finally. Yesterday afternoon, I came home from work and found all the work was completed on our new outdoor living space. It's nice and new and smelling of sawed wood and...

I could go on and on but more importantly - it's done!
TT

Easter Menu 2014

Easter Menu 2014

Artichoke Spinach Dip

Fried Zucchini and Eggplant

Oysters Rockefeller

White Spinach Lasagna with Lobster

Shrimp with Marinara Sauce and Polenta

Roasted Asparagus wrapped in Prosciutto

Banana Creme Pie with Fresh Strawberry Sauce

I'm still looking for other pictures. We seemed to have taken them with all different camera's and devices. Organization for getting the meal together was superb! Not so much for the photography of the food.
TT

Not done but moving on to menu's

Are you tired of hearing about the progress of the rebuilding of my deck? Double that and you might have the feeling of the frustration I feel living through it.  They will NOT finish by Easter (which is tomorrow)! We did get the upper level completed so we DO have an area that is usable. That is a step in the right direction and it IS looking wonderful. How can I really complain?

They put that temporary 'safety' rail up for me so we wouldn't fall off the edge until the crew comes back on Monday to finish (hopefully).
It will work out fine.

Now, I'm putting the final touches to the menu for tomorrow. Nobody seemed to be able to come up with any solid ideas and the suggestions that were thrown out was a total mish-mash. White Lasagna, Red Sauce Pasta, Seafood...I listened to them go back and forth and not come up with any sort of menu plan. I decided to take it all into my own hands and not go through the negotiations of collaborating with any of them.  That would take more time and energy than I had.

I thought, pasta, seafood.  Okay - They all love the white sauce, spinach lasagna so what if I added lobster?  There! One down.  Red marinara sauce with garlic, grilled shrimp!  There - another. How about some Oysters Rockefeller as appetizers which uses the spinach again.  Aha!  Now, I'm on to a theme. It's going like that. I've got to spend a little more time fine-tuning it but that's a plan.

I'll spend some time today making sure I can get my ingredients. I can spend some time on prep work to save myself time tomorrow. Clean the kitchen, get out the chairs and wine glasses, toast to spring-time...wait. Save that for tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.
TT

Still waiting

This is where we are as far as progress on our backyard deck replacement. We are still down to the bare bones, still needing some of those (bones) supports replaced, still waiting on the crew to come back and finish the job. Another sigh to dispel the heavy weight of waiting.

The good news is I talked to the foreman yesterday evening and it looks like we are on track to get this job completed in the next few days. It will still be all done by Easter!

I had to post this better shot of the teeniest, tiniest, slab of concrete outside my back door. I realize my house was built a long time ago, but it must have been in the dark ages to score the smallest concrete area known to man. I'm still shaking my head on how impossibly small this is. A mere step. A stumble.

But all of it will be corrected in a matter of a few days!
TT

Deck demo

Nothing happened on Tuesday. I came home from work and everything in the backyard was the same as it had been on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday...

Let's face it, we were anxious. There goes the mind with all the 'what if's' it could possibly imagine why there wasn't any work being done.  I wasn't having too much of a bad time about it but I admit to some passing thoughts were something to the tune of...what if they don't come back until late in the week.  What if they don't finish before Friday, Saturday...  What if, what if...

Dash those thoughts! It doesn't help the progress of any situation and yesterday when I drove up to the house I was a little disappointed there wasn't a single truck in sight. I let out a sigh and knew I was going to have to call Jay and let him know nothing was done yet again. No trucks, no debris, not a single sign that anyone had been working.

Boy, do these guys work clean.  There was no truck and no debris because the crew had already come and gone.  Demo'd the entire deck and left only the bare bones still standing. Whew! All of that! Still on track to finish!

Now the area seems smaller, when after they put up the cover it seemed bigger. I'm starting to feel like Alice in Wonderland with Eat me, Drink me - Bigger, Smaller. I swear I haven't fallen down any rabbit hole. So here we go.  I expect I will come home today with more progress made. That would be wild and wonderful! Wouldn't it be great to have it done or almost done today! And with me not having to work tomorrow. Wow!

I took one more picture this morning below because I realized the tiny dirt covered square you see right outside my backdoor was the only 'patio' area this house originally had. I never could have survived with such a microscopic area.

 Can you believe this? It's only a step. A place to fall out of the house. An oversight.

But soon - sooner than yesterday or the day before. I'll have a new outdoor living space.

Just in time.
TT

Fence demo

First came the demolition. It came by way of clearing out all the tall bushes that lined both sides of the backyard from the house to the end of the property. They were at least 10-12 feet tall. I was nervously upset about the decision to take them down. There was the strong feeling there would be a loss of privacy.

Once all the bushes were gone, I knew it wasn't so bad. The entire yard looked better. Less...straggly. Then came the second part of demolition. We had to take down all the old, rotten, wooded fence posts. Luckily, it didn't take long and soon Jay and I were putting up all the lattice work. We managed quite well and I was insistent on matching up the pieces. I guess I had too well a training in sewing when it came to lining up stripes - they had to match and so did the wood. I think it tricks the eye pretty well and you do not notice a bit of inside the neighbors yard. There is still privacy which was a huge concern. No longer! How much better will it all look as it comes together.

Now just a short wait until the real deck gets it's overhaul. They should start tomorrow? Take a few days? The way things have been whipping right along, I can't imagine it not happening. And me with only a four day work-week.  Off on Friday! The timing couldn't be any better.
TT

Cover!

You can see my kitchen backdoor in this picture. It's framed in the white metal toward the back. I know this picture is a mess due to the horribly run-down, battered deck but it's only here right now to give a sneak peek of the already constructed cover that has gone up. As you can see it spans the entire length of the already existing area of disintegrating wood underneath. I checked out the sun patterns during the day yesterday. It provides enough shade to, well, it provides an enormous amount of shade all day long.

So, wonderful. A new cover. It's great. I am really impressed with how well it is working out. I started clearing the area and without all the extra paraphernalia it almost has the feel of a park pavilion. It seems to have grown in space. I might start renting it out for parties. Except no.

It doesn't stop here, of course. Now that there is almost all day shade, they will start ripping out the old deck. How smart of them to build the cover first. In it's place there will be a newly built, freshly constructed deck in the exact space. It should be finished around Thursday of next week. I can't wait.

What an improvement! It might not be an actual enclosed, remodeled room but you know what? It kinda is. A new room, I mean.
TT

Absent yet still present

I guess I've psyched myself out of driving to the the 10K I signed up for a month ago. I will use the excuse it has been an overwhelming week and I don't need the added pressure of taking on the challenge this morning. I don't want to be building up any more angst over my race time and whether I can run the distance and any other preposterous ideas I allow to run through my head. Of course I'll run the distance, what does it matter the time? And yet I've played ping-pong with the decision of going or not going most of the morning. I guess I should feel really bad about being a no-show but I'd rather give the daylight 10 more minutes and I'll head outside on my own, in my own neighborhood and avoid the crowds and the internalized pressure. I will enjoy the experience this morning much better in solitude. What a lovely morning.  It's my Saturday, and even though it isn't as I originally planned a month ago, I am so much more present while being absent.
TT
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9:16am - I am so glad I allowed myself to miss the 'official' race for my own personal run. Got the full 6.2(7) miles done in 1:02:15 if I were to believe my silly tracking device. I've never run this distance faster than 1:07 so I don't really believe the time but I feel so much better doing it this way instead of going through all the 'official' hoopla this morning! Atta girl.

Outdoor dining

Things are happening much faster than I ever thought they could. Coming home yesterday, the backyard showed no sign of the disaster area I envisioned. All the bushes were gone but there wasn't a tell-tale trace of debris left behind. This huge landscaping job was completed and, well, wasn't the devastating trauma I thought it could have been. Jay did good. I shouldn't have let my wild imagination go off into the nether regions.
It's not to say it wasn't an exhausting evening. We had two rounds with estimates on replacing our deck. You might know how long and drawn out it takes to get that done. And if I have to be honest, this is the real core of my emotional spikes. I have always held the thought I would someday blow out the back wall of my kitchen to enlarge the house the size of our current deck. It would give me more kitchen space, but more importantly, it would give me a dining area. For some odd reason, our house was built without any dining room. We have a table in the kitchen but that is all. Considering I have one of the smallest kitchens ever, (for someone that cooks)! there isn't much room when the entire family comes over and we have to cram ourselves around the kitchen table. So I thought the room addition would solve this.
I realize the cost of that would run into about the same amounts we spent for the entire house. It didn't make sense to spend that sort of money. It wouldn't add the same value to the house so the last glimpses of my dining area idea floated away. By replacing the deck, it seals the deal for no room addition and I had a hard time giving that long time idea it's final hug before I let it go.
But the good news is, we will have an entirely new deck built with a cover! It is as close to an outside (dining) room we can get and this will actually add value to the house. After grueling through the estimates we decided on a contractor and they will have the cover up this week. The entire deck will be completed before Easter!
It would be great if we all got the things we think we want so badly. It would probably alleviate some emotional spikes. Or maybe not. Maybe having to do things another way make the memories so much richer.
TT

And they all fall down

I'm not sure what I'm going to see when I come home this evening. I can only get through the day and try to stay calm. It's all been arranged and nothing I think or say will have any impact except for a negative reaction.
Jay is having the bushes lining each side of our backyard cut down. All of them. Is that supposed to make me feel so sad, cause it does. He has told me about wanting to do this. In snatches, in partial ideas, and meted portions of information without explaining the entire vision. He has all types of accelerated claims when I express my doubts. I can get accelerated, too but I can't understand what someone doesn't explain.
We have different thoughts on this subject but I will stand back and let him have his vision even if I don't see it. New beginnings, right? This might be a change that will spark things anew. It will be something positive and I won't let the differing opinions kill the final vision I might be able to see once this part is done.
I think I'll be coming home to a very new backyard today.
TT

Don't do it again

The weather is murky gray, cool. My head is swimming out of hazy, should have stayed in bed, clouds from a little too much celebration from last night. Thank goodness, it's Saturday. I might need a nap later but for now I am happy with pouring another strong cup of coffee. I filled some time this morning crawling into a cave of bookkeeping. I have other things to do, of course, but it may take me a little more time to get revved up. I'm moving a little slow but starting to feel the haze clear slightly. I think the coffee is working.

It was Jay's birthday yesterday so we tried to go out and have a drink. Crowds prevented that from happening so we had our drink(s) at home. I am too much the flyweight for more than two or three beers a weekend much less the two cosmo's I thought I could handle. Punishment comes the next morning trying to dose myself with bookkeeping and coffee. So far so good. I think.

Give me a little more time. I'll check in a little later as I progressively feel more like myself. I'm getting there, so for now I will leave you with those famous last words, "I won't do that again."
Right.
TT

Jay's Bday

When I wrote the last entry about getting older, I was in no way thinking about anyone but myself. Then here it is someone else's birthday and it would seem I was referencing someone else. Not so. Thoughts of someone else getting older was farthest from my mind.

But here it is, today, Jay's birthday. He is 63 years old today. It's a Friday so we are both off to work. The routine stays the same for the day. It's Sunday afternoon when we will be able to celebrate. Both our boys will come over (and Selma and the little boys now, too) and we will have a meal that Jay gets to decide upon. It's the way we have always done birthdays around here for many years, even when the boys were little. The person with the birthday gets to decide the entire meal. When the boys got a little older and time was sometimes in the way or we wanted to stretch our birthday options, we included the choice of your own homemade menu or we could go out to eat any place of your choosing. I always felt a whisp of worry it might be an outrageously expensive restaurant but, hey, it's their birthday and what better way to experience such a lavish partaking if not with the entire family on a special occasion? It always worked out.

This year we will cook at home because that is what Jay prefers. It's his choice. As for today, his actual birthday...I might need to see if I can get him to some lavish restaurant for dinner. He probably won't go for it but I know I can get him to meet me for a drink. We'll go from there.

Here's to another birthday!
TT

Just older

Getting older, getting wiser. It sounds like when you reach that certain age, that old, older age, something happens that elevates you to another realm. It's true you do acquire an amount of knowledge. It's only logical that because you have lived longer, you have had more experiences. You have a multitude of examples to base your decisions. But how would I know?  I'm not some great thinker of thoughts like the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz once he got his brains. I'll leave the big thinking and speeches to him. And you know I'm not 'all that' when my reference is a character out of a children's book (or movie-depending on your generation).

I haven't reached any higher realm, I've simply gotten older. And what it's done, now that the things in life I worked so hard have been achieved, I find out I've reverted to that person I was way back when. I've gone back to that person I was before I got caught up in the tailspin of life.  Except I'm older. But I didn't revert back to that person but realized I'm the same one.  I only had so many other things going on I didn't have time to pay attention to her. And it was freaky. Or I'm freaky now that I realize those interests from my many years ago are still there. And that's fine because there is a level of...calm, confidence,strength, fun, silliness. I don't know what it is except it isn't too bad. Maybe that is the realm you are supposed to reach?

I'm still the same fun, silly, strong person I was.  Just older.
TT

Ouch!!

I feel so foolish. I don’t even know how to start or if I want to. I guess I can only just go ahead and say it. I went out and hurt myself.
Oh no, it really isn’t anything serious. It is an embarrassment is what it is. And a total frustration because of where I am with my running and now…
I sprained my ankle. There – there it is. Both my ankle and my pride are more than sorely bruised. I think the doctor said I had to stay off it for 5 to 6 weeks. I think the doctor said I need to take it easy and put it up as much as possible and some other stuff I didn't even hear once he started talking weeks. How could I do this to myself now? I was clipping right along. I was getting so many more miles in than I ever thought possible! Why this?!
I was finished with my run yesterday afternoon at the gym. I was feeling pretty good and ambling on my way to the locker room to fetch my gym bag to leave. Somehow – I don’t know how - I managed to miss a middle step leading from one area of the gym to the other when my right ankle curled under me and gave way. I went down with all my weight on top of it in a most awkward and piercingly painful way. There were only three steps! How did I miss one! The good thing was I didn't have far to fall but I fell. I fell on top of my turned ankle! I just crumpled myself into a small heap there on the floor.
Then people hurried over and starting hovering over me. I wanted to get up but it wasn’t going exactly the way I would have liked. The way I would have liked was that my face would have turned scarlet (which it did anyway) and I would have gotten up and shrugged and walked away. I had to be helped to my feet with someone on each side of me! They hobbled me over into an office where I propped my leg up and was given an ice pack. I sat there for a while thinking all the things I didn't want to think about. How utterly ridiculous! Those steps have been there forever. How did I miss one out of three steps? I was doing so well with my running!
They let me sit for a while as I realized I needed to call someone to get me. I drive a stick shift and the gym associates didn’t give me the impression they were going to let me out of there on my own. I was able to call a friend to get me and it wasn’t long before she showed up and insisted on the doctor. I agreed because I thought it might prove to be nothing and the doctor would say it would be fine in a few days. No!
Now I have a bum ankle and will miss my runs and need to use crutches. I took today off from work but I still need to retrieve my car and the swelling hasn't quite gone down all the way yet...Can you believe this!?!

Okay, enough of this nonsense. Not a thing I just said happened to me. None of it...well maybe the part that I was feeling pretty good after my run. The whole rest of it is fiction. It is April 1st, isn’t it? aka April Fools day?
I feel so foolish.
Do you?

Okay, enough of even more nonsense. I didn't just write this. I wrote and posted this right here on this site on April 1st 2010. You can go back to my archive for the first post in April that year and it will be there. Nothing original, except when I wrote it then. The only thing the same now is I went out to run today (outside - not at the gym) and it's April Fools Day. I don't feel so very foolish. Do you?
TT