Jay showed me a one windowed cartoon this afternoon.
The picture showed a non-descript woman sitting on the visitors side of a desk in a small office. She was an average woman, wearing a woman's suit with the skirt coming conservatively to her knees. She was facing the man that worked behind this desk. He had papers on either side and a stack of them directly between him and the woman in the center of the desk. The caption below said, "We like every word you have in your manuscript. We just need you to re-arrange all of them."
I wasn't sure I appreciated the cartoon at first. I should have just laughed at the cleverness and left it at that. Somehow, for no reason known to man, I thought about it.
I thought about myself and how sure I am that there are quite a few words I need to re-arrange. I know I am not even there yet. I am able to say that these past few days have at least proven to be a true starting point for me to take on this book writing project. I have managed quite a lot of time writing. I find myself checking my word count. I will write and stall, stay with it and eeak out a few more words. I seem to be working better because I have a goal of what I need to get said in smaller portions instead of this huge overview of the entire story going through my mind. I am managing to get myself to sit and just start writing. The daily part of doing this is proving to be very important even if it's only a few words. I am discovering that sometimes it takes me as long to write 400 words as it did the day before to write 900 and those 400 weren't even as important to progressing the story as the 900. But then I realize I needed the 400 to get another 900. I know, I am talking in riddles and Jay doesn't get any of it either when I try to explain. That's fine. I understand that he is aware this is something I am working at and want to do. Then he brings me a cartoon hoping to make me laugh and stop taking it all too seriously.
The only problem with me (well, not the only problem) is that I thought about it too much and no matter if the woman has all those words she needs to re-arrange, I can't stop thinking that she has them all written and is already sitting in that man's office with them all in that stack in the center of the desk. I have a way's to go to get my stack of words completed. And that's okay too, since I actually have added more words to my stack even as recently as this morning.
Good for the average woman in the cartoon that had a completed stack. I'm still building mine and when I get it all done - well, then, I guess I can start re-arranging all the words. Oh, and another thought I had about the cartoon...if the time ever came for me to be sitting in that office...I am sure I will be wearing a more stylish suit.
TT
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
No running
It is Sunday morning about the time I would be out on my long run of the week. I should be lacing up my running shoes and heading out the door. I wish I could.
It’s a perfect morning for it. It is just partly cloudy, about 70 degrees and all is quiet in the area. I have managed to work my distances on these Sunday long runs with a good two to two and a half hours of being outdoors. I’ve run just over thirteen miles two consecutive Sundays followed by ten last weekend. The measure for a half marathon is 13.1 miles and yes, I did that twice within three weeks. The ten miles I ran last weekend wasn’t a bad distance either but I knew the pain in the back of my right foot wasn’t correcting itself and I had to admit it was getting worse. It was going from an annoyance to a pain.
The rule of thumb in running is to keep going through the annoyance but stop for the pain.
I’ve had to stop. The two appointments I mentioned in recent posts that took me away from writing were to the podiatrist. It could be worse but it seems I have some small tears on my Achilles tendon at the back of my right foot. And the cure? Stopping. No running (or walking) outside or on treadmills for two weeks. Two weeks.
Do you know how hard it is for me to sit here on this beautiful Sunday morning and not gear up to run? It’s like missing a good friend. Hello, outdoors. The sun is starting to peek out from behind the clouds, people have cut their grass, birds are attempting to sing, and I get to enjoy jogging along without any regard or realizing I’ve been out there for over two hours.
But not today. Not for two weeks. I can’t even walk it.
It could be worse, I know. I just don’t see how at this particular moment.
TT
It’s a perfect morning for it. It is just partly cloudy, about 70 degrees and all is quiet in the area. I have managed to work my distances on these Sunday long runs with a good two to two and a half hours of being outdoors. I’ve run just over thirteen miles two consecutive Sundays followed by ten last weekend. The measure for a half marathon is 13.1 miles and yes, I did that twice within three weeks. The ten miles I ran last weekend wasn’t a bad distance either but I knew the pain in the back of my right foot wasn’t correcting itself and I had to admit it was getting worse. It was going from an annoyance to a pain.
The rule of thumb in running is to keep going through the annoyance but stop for the pain.
I’ve had to stop. The two appointments I mentioned in recent posts that took me away from writing were to the podiatrist. It could be worse but it seems I have some small tears on my Achilles tendon at the back of my right foot. And the cure? Stopping. No running (or walking) outside or on treadmills for two weeks. Two weeks.
Do you know how hard it is for me to sit here on this beautiful Sunday morning and not gear up to run? It’s like missing a good friend. Hello, outdoors. The sun is starting to peek out from behind the clouds, people have cut their grass, birds are attempting to sing, and I get to enjoy jogging along without any regard or realizing I’ve been out there for over two hours.
But not today. Not for two weeks. I can’t even walk it.
It could be worse, I know. I just don’t see how at this particular moment.
TT
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Stop arguing
I wrote some today where the main characters get into a bit of a verbal altercation. I knew it was coming and knew I might need to tamper it down. I don't think I want anyone disliking the main characters. I especially don't want the main characters to dislike each other. Now that I have gone back and re-read it I am not sure if I should have allowed them say a little more. I might not have allowed them to go as far as they should and yet I am asking myself the question of is it too early for them to go as far as they might?
This has to be the toughest part of writing something that is so much longer than I am used to and so much more involved. I know I will hear (and it's already repeating in my head) just keep writing, just keep going.
It is tough. This is why it's work. This is why I have to have discipline and keep doing it every single day. This is when I say, okay. I don't know why I am going to trust that voice that says to keep on writing, keep going from wherever I stopped but I wonder what other choice I have.
And then it gets a little more exciting, a little more challenging and I have to hash out how to move along to the next point I need to get to.
First drafts are for getting the story out, I hear. Second and third drafts are when you figure out if the main characters should argue a little longer.
Me? I could argue all day!
TT
This has to be the toughest part of writing something that is so much longer than I am used to and so much more involved. I know I will hear (and it's already repeating in my head) just keep writing, just keep going.
It is tough. This is why it's work. This is why I have to have discipline and keep doing it every single day. This is when I say, okay. I don't know why I am going to trust that voice that says to keep on writing, keep going from wherever I stopped but I wonder what other choice I have.
And then it gets a little more exciting, a little more challenging and I have to hash out how to move along to the next point I need to get to.
First drafts are for getting the story out, I hear. Second and third drafts are when you figure out if the main characters should argue a little longer.
Me? I could argue all day!
TT
Second day save
Did I say something about how my first attempt at using a vacation day as a day to write wasn't how I had pictured? If the first day didn’t work out well then the second day saved it all. I had two “extra” vacation days I had taken with nothing planned and thought it a good idea to attempt to use those days as if I was going to work as a writer.
The first day didn’t turn out. I wrote a short amount of time in the morning. I was interrupted with an appointment that went completely longer than it should and I had a hard time getting focused. I sat down to write with the smallest space of time I had before another evening appointment and that proved to be the more productive of that first day. That is the reason I say my first day and attempt wasn’t how I had pictured.
I began again on Day two with a writing session as I sipped coffee and I was beginning to feel a little more like actually sitting at a writer’s desk. I spent over a good hour and a bit working at my new job. Then it was time for another appointment. It turned out this appointment was the quick go, come back; get to work type that I had hoped the first one would have been. I was back at my desk a little after 11:00 am and I started back to work. I gave myself a break for lunch departing from my workspace and inhabiting the lower level of my home for about an hour.
When I returned upstairs I had the most concentrated effort to date. Is it possible to spend three and a half hours not realizing the time? I know it happens but never when I’ve worked at this writing job before. But then I don’t think I ever allowed myself to really work at this writing job for any extended period of time. I broke away for 45 minutes to make a quick trip to the grocery to pick up something I could pop in the oven that wouldn’t take a lot of prep time. I managed a small roast beef with potatoes and carrots, put it in the oven and returned to work. I found myself a couple of hours later looking at the clock knowing I should stop and pull the food from the oven but wanting to get a last few words down. I did this multiple times until I finally went and shut off the oven, pulled the food out and put aluminum foil over the top to keep.
Then I went back to work.
I finally shut my laptop down about 6:20 pm or so and went downstairs. The funny part is that I had grabbed my binder to make a few notes (like I was taking work home) and when I had finished scribbling it was after 7:15pm.
So if Day one wasn’t as I had pictured, Day two proved to be more than I could have imagined.
This new job seems to be working out well.
TT
The first day didn’t turn out. I wrote a short amount of time in the morning. I was interrupted with an appointment that went completely longer than it should and I had a hard time getting focused. I sat down to write with the smallest space of time I had before another evening appointment and that proved to be the more productive of that first day. That is the reason I say my first day and attempt wasn’t how I had pictured.
I began again on Day two with a writing session as I sipped coffee and I was beginning to feel a little more like actually sitting at a writer’s desk. I spent over a good hour and a bit working at my new job. Then it was time for another appointment. It turned out this appointment was the quick go, come back; get to work type that I had hoped the first one would have been. I was back at my desk a little after 11:00 am and I started back to work. I gave myself a break for lunch departing from my workspace and inhabiting the lower level of my home for about an hour.
When I returned upstairs I had the most concentrated effort to date. Is it possible to spend three and a half hours not realizing the time? I know it happens but never when I’ve worked at this writing job before. But then I don’t think I ever allowed myself to really work at this writing job for any extended period of time. I broke away for 45 minutes to make a quick trip to the grocery to pick up something I could pop in the oven that wouldn’t take a lot of prep time. I managed a small roast beef with potatoes and carrots, put it in the oven and returned to work. I found myself a couple of hours later looking at the clock knowing I should stop and pull the food from the oven but wanting to get a last few words down. I did this multiple times until I finally went and shut off the oven, pulled the food out and put aluminum foil over the top to keep.
Then I went back to work.
I finally shut my laptop down about 6:20 pm or so and went downstairs. The funny part is that I had grabbed my binder to make a few notes (like I was taking work home) and when I had finished scribbling it was after 7:15pm.
So if Day one wasn’t as I had pictured, Day two proved to be more than I could have imagined.
This new job seems to be working out well.
TT
Friday, May 28, 2010
Start day two
If yesterday was my first day at the job of being a writer than I am not sure it went as well as it should have. I had said since I had this extra vacation day (two actually – counting today) that I would use that as the “perfect time” to spend the day writing as if it were my regular job. I had all the good intentions (and I know the road that is paved with those) when I started the day. The appointment I had to keep threw me off track almost completely.
It should have been a quick go, come back, get to work but it ended up taking half my day. By the time I finally got something for lunch it was into the afternoon and I made the mistake of picking up the book I was reading. I lost myself for a good couple of hours before I realized the time and had to get myself going for another engagement I had that evening.
It wasn’t exactly the day I had pictured. I had hoped to spend my time adding words upon words to my already started chapters. I had hoped to work out a short plan for what I would cover in subsequent chapters in order to keep the writing flow going. I had hoped.
But again…wishes without work only produces old Disney cartoon movies. I am not Snow White singing into a wishing well with the Prince showing up by the end of the song.
The good part is that I get to say I did write yesterday. I took advantage of the short time I had before my evening engagement and added more words. I didn’t think how short a time I had, or how I shouldn’t bother trying to write with so little time available but just used it up writing. I was almost late for the engagement because the writing took over.
All day, perfect times, wishing and hoping won’t capture a single word. Wishing wells only fulfill your dreams in fairy tales.
The place is here, the time is now, and wherever or how much that may be, can sometimes be good enough.
I will try again today to go to work as a writer. I do have another appointment and I started reading another book but those things will continue to happen to disrupt my best laid plans if I let them. I know I have the same determination today that I had when I started yesterday to try to do this. I may have fallen short yesterday but I still managed something. I will try it again today and manage much more.
I mean, come on, how much real work does anyone really accomplish on their first day on the job?
TT
It should have been a quick go, come back, get to work but it ended up taking half my day. By the time I finally got something for lunch it was into the afternoon and I made the mistake of picking up the book I was reading. I lost myself for a good couple of hours before I realized the time and had to get myself going for another engagement I had that evening.
It wasn’t exactly the day I had pictured. I had hoped to spend my time adding words upon words to my already started chapters. I had hoped to work out a short plan for what I would cover in subsequent chapters in order to keep the writing flow going. I had hoped.
But again…wishes without work only produces old Disney cartoon movies. I am not Snow White singing into a wishing well with the Prince showing up by the end of the song.
The good part is that I get to say I did write yesterday. I took advantage of the short time I had before my evening engagement and added more words. I didn’t think how short a time I had, or how I shouldn’t bother trying to write with so little time available but just used it up writing. I was almost late for the engagement because the writing took over.
All day, perfect times, wishing and hoping won’t capture a single word. Wishing wells only fulfill your dreams in fairy tales.
The place is here, the time is now, and wherever or how much that may be, can sometimes be good enough.
I will try again today to go to work as a writer. I do have another appointment and I started reading another book but those things will continue to happen to disrupt my best laid plans if I let them. I know I have the same determination today that I had when I started yesterday to try to do this. I may have fallen short yesterday but I still managed something. I will try it again today and manage much more.
I mean, come on, how much real work does anyone really accomplish on their first day on the job?
TT
Thursday, May 27, 2010
First day, new job
Today is one of my "extra" vacation days. It is the one (and tomorrow, too) that I wasn't originally going to take but when suggested I decided an entire week couldn't be bad for me. I hadn't thought to take the extra two days off because I had nothing planned and then, there I was, with extra days and not sure what to do with them. At first I didn't even have a clue what I would do with the time but then I had a thought.
Yikes - a thought - I know, pretty scary given some of my thoughts. This time it's just a little scary for me. My thought was...what if I spent the day - since I wasn't going to work at my normal employment - to go to work as a writer?
What better circumstances could I ask for? It would be a few days I had nothing planned where I wasn't expected anywhere and shouldn't have an abundance of other things to do. I would get up and spend time here in my workspace that I have made for myself upstairs and use it as I had intended. I would have huge blocks of time, total, solitary quiet and a story I have already started and need to keep progressing on. I could see where it could be that “perfect time” I wait for before getting anything done.
Of course, you and I both know the “perfect time” is just the excuse I use on myself for not doing something I say I want to do but for some reason can’t quite bring myself to actually do. That…I didn’t have enough time to really get started…I was in the middle of something that took more time than I thought…I would have done it if this hadn’t turned up…that - I didn’t have the “perfect time” excuse. I know there isn’t a “perfect time” but if anything could be close to it, today would be it. And my true intention is to take it and use it for writing. Look, I’ve already started this morning by this post.
I do have an appointment I need to keep in about an hour and I will go to do that, but then, writers must have appointments during their work day, right? I will just work it into my day as a writer. If I had an appointment during my regular job I would go and then come back to work. I will do it that same way but come back to my new job that I have taken on today right here.
I guess I will have to report back and let you know how today goes. If it turns out good than I will let you know and if not, well, then, maybe I won’t say anything. Isn’t that what mom used to tell me, “If you don’t have anything good to say – don’t say anything at all?”
Yikes – I’m hoping I’ll have lots to say!
TT
Yikes - a thought - I know, pretty scary given some of my thoughts. This time it's just a little scary for me. My thought was...what if I spent the day - since I wasn't going to work at my normal employment - to go to work as a writer?
What better circumstances could I ask for? It would be a few days I had nothing planned where I wasn't expected anywhere and shouldn't have an abundance of other things to do. I would get up and spend time here in my workspace that I have made for myself upstairs and use it as I had intended. I would have huge blocks of time, total, solitary quiet and a story I have already started and need to keep progressing on. I could see where it could be that “perfect time” I wait for before getting anything done.
Of course, you and I both know the “perfect time” is just the excuse I use on myself for not doing something I say I want to do but for some reason can’t quite bring myself to actually do. That…I didn’t have enough time to really get started…I was in the middle of something that took more time than I thought…I would have done it if this hadn’t turned up…that - I didn’t have the “perfect time” excuse. I know there isn’t a “perfect time” but if anything could be close to it, today would be it. And my true intention is to take it and use it for writing. Look, I’ve already started this morning by this post.
I do have an appointment I need to keep in about an hour and I will go to do that, but then, writers must have appointments during their work day, right? I will just work it into my day as a writer. If I had an appointment during my regular job I would go and then come back to work. I will do it that same way but come back to my new job that I have taken on today right here.
I guess I will have to report back and let you know how today goes. If it turns out good than I will let you know and if not, well, then, maybe I won’t say anything. Isn’t that what mom used to tell me, “If you don’t have anything good to say – don’t say anything at all?”
Yikes – I’m hoping I’ll have lots to say!
TT
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Morning run
The salt spray crashed over the pilings on the narrow shoulder of the road. The white spittle flew out from the blue roll of wave where it originated. The wind was strong and helped push the aqua water over the short barrier.
It went like this all along the winding and deserted road. The temperature was mild and the strong gusts kept it cool when it could have been steamily humid. The measured foot falls were the only sounds not common to these early mornings’ beginnings. The water, the wind, and the birds all had their normal routines in place. The lone gull took a running start before launching itself into the air to avoid the high tide and hover in search of what might become its morning portion.
It's not often enough that I am able to put myself in the midst of surroundings that ebb and flow without interruption. Even with the introduction of something foreign like myself I was happy to see it didn't stop and change course because of me but accepted my foreignness allowing me to experience it as it unfolded. It showed me nature’s confident feeling of nonchalance and the progression of its regular occurrences even with the interruption of the lone creature in motion that was me.
It's hard not to appreciate that acceptance. It’s a gift to be given the opportunity and time to travel a narrow road where your foot falls are the only unusual sound in a scene that will play out with or without you. It played itself out with me yesterday morning when I had the privilege to experience it and has left me still thinking about it today.
TT
It went like this all along the winding and deserted road. The temperature was mild and the strong gusts kept it cool when it could have been steamily humid. The measured foot falls were the only sounds not common to these early mornings’ beginnings. The water, the wind, and the birds all had their normal routines in place. The lone gull took a running start before launching itself into the air to avoid the high tide and hover in search of what might become its morning portion.
It's not often enough that I am able to put myself in the midst of surroundings that ebb and flow without interruption. Even with the introduction of something foreign like myself I was happy to see it didn't stop and change course because of me but accepted my foreignness allowing me to experience it as it unfolded. It showed me nature’s confident feeling of nonchalance and the progression of its regular occurrences even with the interruption of the lone creature in motion that was me.
It's hard not to appreciate that acceptance. It’s a gift to be given the opportunity and time to travel a narrow road where your foot falls are the only unusual sound in a scene that will play out with or without you. It played itself out with me yesterday morning when I had the privilege to experience it and has left me still thinking about it today.
TT
Sunday, May 23, 2010
What to do
Tessa T., Tessa T., what am I going to do with you?
You might suspect something isn't exactly right when I am starting off the day talking to myself. Especially when the talk is of the kind that is done with your arms crossed, tapping one foot and shaking your head in doubt. Well, that is what it feels like to me this early morning.
I am still in this surreal cloud of thinking I might be on vacation. I am thinking I am even heading out to my own personal paradise and will arrive in a matter of a few short hours. I am doing things as if preparing for it and yet I am still in a cloudy haze of I am not sure I believe this yet.
I seem to understand. I went out for an early run but made it purposely short knowing I would need to rinse and dry not only my running gear but myself. I've charged and stowed all my personal gadgets and toys that I will be bringing along with me as I go far and away. I've set aside all my...well, I've done all the things I would do in preparation. But even doing these things, I still don't think I've grasped the whole idea that I am not obligated to report to anyone or anything for a while. I know I've heard people mention that it's normal and it's called time-off. They usually tell me this in a very dry, sarcastic tone. It's a variety of message delivering I have mastered myself and yet seem to be selective when I hear it from others telling me.
I'm not sure why I don't grasp it the same way as others, but then...what do I grasp as others do? So, I guess I'll muddle through. At least I've done my prep work and now that I think about it...the idea of being at my far and away in time to have crab cakes for a late lunch...sounds like something I could do quite well.
There you go. That sounds like a good enough place to start, Tessa T.
TT
You might suspect something isn't exactly right when I am starting off the day talking to myself. Especially when the talk is of the kind that is done with your arms crossed, tapping one foot and shaking your head in doubt. Well, that is what it feels like to me this early morning.
I am still in this surreal cloud of thinking I might be on vacation. I am thinking I am even heading out to my own personal paradise and will arrive in a matter of a few short hours. I am doing things as if preparing for it and yet I am still in a cloudy haze of I am not sure I believe this yet.
I seem to understand. I went out for an early run but made it purposely short knowing I would need to rinse and dry not only my running gear but myself. I've charged and stowed all my personal gadgets and toys that I will be bringing along with me as I go far and away. I've set aside all my...well, I've done all the things I would do in preparation. But even doing these things, I still don't think I've grasped the whole idea that I am not obligated to report to anyone or anything for a while. I know I've heard people mention that it's normal and it's called time-off. They usually tell me this in a very dry, sarcastic tone. It's a variety of message delivering I have mastered myself and yet seem to be selective when I hear it from others telling me.
I'm not sure why I don't grasp it the same way as others, but then...what do I grasp as others do? So, I guess I'll muddle through. At least I've done my prep work and now that I think about it...the idea of being at my far and away in time to have crab cakes for a late lunch...sounds like something I could do quite well.
There you go. That sounds like a good enough place to start, Tessa T.
TT
Friday, May 21, 2010
No work
I had one of my regular meetings with my Director boss yesterday morning. It was fairly typical and we were going over the meetings I had already set up, those that I was having difficulties with and other new ones he needed. In the couse of the conversation I reminded him that I was taking the first three days of next week off. It had been previously scheduled but since I am usually at work and have an abundance of vacation time stocked piled I thought it a good idea to remind him.
He stopped for just a moment and said..."so you come back Thursday and Friday and then have another three day weekend."
"Yes."
"Why aren't you taking the entire week?"
"I didn't have anything planned."
"You have all this time accumulated."
"But another Admin will be out on Friday."
"But we have another Admin and that day should be fairly quiet since it's before the long weekend."
"You think I should take the entire week?"
"Yes, why not?"
"I don't know but I think I'm going to say yes."
"Well, good."
We finished the rest of our meeting and I came out of his office a little shaken but realizing I would have a bunch of days off. I called Jay to let him know I thought I was going to take the entire week (plus the Memorial day holiday).
"Well, it's about time someone kicked you in the ass. At least you listened to your boss."
I guess I do go round and round with working, time off, working, not taking time off. I'm not sure why I think I need to be at my absolute max with my vacation bank but it seems I horde the time there instead of taking it.
So I don't have any idea what I'll be doing all of next week. I do know Sunday I will be heading out to my own personal paradise. Yes - I will be directly across the street from that picture to the upper right. When I come back Tuesday afternoon I still have no idea what I will be doing. I do know one thing I won't be doing.
Going in to work.
TT
He stopped for just a moment and said..."so you come back Thursday and Friday and then have another three day weekend."
"Yes."
"Why aren't you taking the entire week?"
"I didn't have anything planned."
"You have all this time accumulated."
"But another Admin will be out on Friday."
"But we have another Admin and that day should be fairly quiet since it's before the long weekend."
"You think I should take the entire week?"
"Yes, why not?"
"I don't know but I think I'm going to say yes."
"Well, good."
We finished the rest of our meeting and I came out of his office a little shaken but realizing I would have a bunch of days off. I called Jay to let him know I thought I was going to take the entire week (plus the Memorial day holiday).
"Well, it's about time someone kicked you in the ass. At least you listened to your boss."
I guess I do go round and round with working, time off, working, not taking time off. I'm not sure why I think I need to be at my absolute max with my vacation bank but it seems I horde the time there instead of taking it.
So I don't have any idea what I'll be doing all of next week. I do know Sunday I will be heading out to my own personal paradise. Yes - I will be directly across the street from that picture to the upper right. When I come back Tuesday afternoon I still have no idea what I will be doing. I do know one thing I won't be doing.
Going in to work.
TT
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
A quick word
I don't really have time to post this morning. I am trying only to attempt a diversionary tactic to keep my last post from being on the top of the reading list. I guess I am feeling a bit self-conscious about the fact that I got an outlandish compliment and went out and talked about it.
You understand, of course, it was a bit of writing. But then don’t misunderstand that all the facts were perfectly accurate, the run happened for the time and distance I described and I was approached in exactly the way depicted by someone who told me exactly what they did. Maybe it was just all too much to talk about.
I tried to approach it from a writing standpoint and not as a boastful display of ego. I included the picture because I merely had to remind myself what the video character actually looked like. I printed it and showed it to Jay and he even thought there were similarities. So, I’m writing now because I am feeling a bit embarrassed by the compliment and the fact that my writing may have come off sounding boastful when it wasn’t what I was going for at all.
There are some days you can’t win for losing but you keep at it anyway. So I've accomplished my goal of displacing the top of the reading list and attempting to write without any time.
TT
You understand, of course, it was a bit of writing. But then don’t misunderstand that all the facts were perfectly accurate, the run happened for the time and distance I described and I was approached in exactly the way depicted by someone who told me exactly what they did. Maybe it was just all too much to talk about.
I tried to approach it from a writing standpoint and not as a boastful display of ego. I included the picture because I merely had to remind myself what the video character actually looked like. I printed it and showed it to Jay and he even thought there were similarities. So, I’m writing now because I am feeling a bit embarrassed by the compliment and the fact that my writing may have come off sounding boastful when it wasn’t what I was going for at all.
There are some days you can’t win for losing but you keep at it anyway. So I've accomplished my goal of displacing the top of the reading list and attempting to write without any time.
TT
Monday, May 17, 2010
Hello Lara
A co-worker came over to my desk this morning. It was a coincidence that we had talked briefly on Friday afternoon when we discovered we both were using the nike+ sensor to track our running workouts. We shared a bit why we liked it so well and gave each other encouraging words about our runs. It wasn't a long conversation but enough to capture the excitement of the device and point out features to each other that the other hadn't discovered as of yet.
So he came over to my desk Monday morning and said he had spotted me running on Sunday.
Now, I don't really think it was all that accurate a statement...it couldn't be! Come on! Maybe in the few seconds his wife saw this black clad woman, striding down the street, arms pumping with a steady metronome pace, she thought she saw a silhouette of something to make her think there was a similar resemblance. If I really stretched - I could say from the neck up and the ribs down, there could be a small resemblance to me in my running attire. But I could break it down to show there really isn't that much resemblance. My pony tail isn't anywhere near the length (although I wish I could hurry and grow it that long) as Lara Croft. I could in no way, shape or that form, fill anything close to that bra size, but the waist, I have to admit, is pretty accurate although I wasn't wearing anything that form fitting. My shorts were definitely longer - probably to the length of the holsters but maybe since my pockets were filled with cell phone and iPod it gave the illusion of a gun belt? I, for sure, wasn't packing two guns as I padded away the miles but that is my hand grip as I pump away. Maybe I gave the illusion of packing pistols as I was storming down the sidewalk.
So he came over to my desk Monday morning and said he had spotted me running on Sunday.
I'm not sure why but my Sunday long runs are so solitary and early I don't figure anyone I know will see me. But he had. He said he and his wife were traveling down the road I was running and his wife had called his attention over to the runner on the sidewalk. I asked, "Early Sunday?" He acknowledged yes. He said he looked over after his wife's comment and recognized me as the runner and told his wife. I was a little taken aback. Like I said, I somehow think that during my focused, steady gait, I am someway invisible to known persons that might also be out - that I am anonymous. Or I just don't think I am going to be seen at that quiet hour of a Sunday morning. Who else is out that time of day? It seems my co-worker and his wife were and they not only spotted me but recognized me. He had come over to my desk to let me know!
Then, while I'm still catching up to the idea that I was seen he hits me with next comment he says his wife made. He tells me she said, "She looks like Tomb Raider."
What?!? Now I am sitting shock still, mind on hold, consciously trying to keep my jaw from opening and leaving my mouth wide open. Then the file cabinet in my mind opens up and flips through images of Lara Croft running down my Sunday route totally oblivious to anyone around her. Except it's me. When I recovered enough to safely open my mouth without fear of it staying permanently gaping open I said,
"How cool!"
Now, I don't really think it was all that accurate a statement...it couldn't be! Come on! Maybe in the few seconds his wife saw this black clad woman, striding down the street, arms pumping with a steady metronome pace, she thought she saw a silhouette of something to make her think there was a similar resemblance. If I really stretched - I could say from the neck up and the ribs down, there could be a small resemblance to me in my running attire. But I could break it down to show there really isn't that much resemblance. My pony tail isn't anywhere near the length (although I wish I could hurry and grow it that long) as Lara Croft. I could in no way, shape or that form, fill anything close to that bra size, but the waist, I have to admit, is pretty accurate although I wasn't wearing anything that form fitting. My shorts were definitely longer - probably to the length of the holsters but maybe since my pockets were filled with cell phone and iPod it gave the illusion of a gun belt? I, for sure, wasn't packing two guns as I padded away the miles but that is my hand grip as I pump away. Maybe I gave the illusion of packing pistols as I was storming down the sidewalk. So no. Lara Croft I am not. But, never in a million years would I have thought or that anyone else would imagine that I looked like Tomb Raider. No. It is quite a stretch but I will say it was very nice compliment.
I wonder what mile I was on? I did thirteen miles that day. Yeah, like some video game character that just won't quit. I was gaming on to a whole 'nuther level and giving my best Lara Croft impression without knowing it. Without ever imagining it.
"How cool!"
TT
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Moving back
I have been able to partially move back to my space. I ventured up the stairs after I realized no one was going to show up to continue the work today. I was told my normally solitary Saturday was going to be invaded by people in the house but nope, they didn't show. So I braved the unknown and went up to see the condition of things.
It turned out they actually finished the two rooms and bathroom upstairs and painted the landings walls. The landing and staircase ceilings still need to be scraped of the ugly popcorn and painted but then the entire upstairs will be complete.
My furniture was also put back into place even if it was coated with a mile of dust and the sheer drapes replaced backwards with seams showing. I easily remedied those items and vacuumed the now desperately needing-to-be-replaced carpet. Ah, the carpet that was the start of all this. It only made sense to take care of the scraping and painting before replacing it and now that it's done, I think the carpet will need to be re-done sooner rather than later. Then everything will be new and clean. I have to say that it does look much better.
I am still working downstairs but I believe I will bring my laptop up to my own desk after this evening. The rest of the work will continue in the hallway but I don't think there will be a need to disturb my area soon. The work in my room is done for now until we contract someone for the carpeting. Then it will begin again.
It will be all worth it, right? It was a slight disruption to make the space a little better than it was before? I guess I can go with that.
Maybe I should get up and move my laptop up there right now!
I think I will.
TT
It turned out they actually finished the two rooms and bathroom upstairs and painted the landings walls. The landing and staircase ceilings still need to be scraped of the ugly popcorn and painted but then the entire upstairs will be complete.
My furniture was also put back into place even if it was coated with a mile of dust and the sheer drapes replaced backwards with seams showing. I easily remedied those items and vacuumed the now desperately needing-to-be-replaced carpet. Ah, the carpet that was the start of all this. It only made sense to take care of the scraping and painting before replacing it and now that it's done, I think the carpet will need to be re-done sooner rather than later. Then everything will be new and clean. I have to say that it does look much better.
I am still working downstairs but I believe I will bring my laptop up to my own desk after this evening. The rest of the work will continue in the hallway but I don't think there will be a need to disturb my area soon. The work in my room is done for now until we contract someone for the carpeting. Then it will begin again.
It will be all worth it, right? It was a slight disruption to make the space a little better than it was before? I guess I can go with that.
Maybe I should get up and move my laptop up there right now!
I think I will.
TT
Friday, May 14, 2010
Patience
I am still displaced.
Work is continuing on the upstairs ceiling scraping and painting of all surfaces. I won't even go up there. I can't and don't want to see the utter and total mess that once was a thoroughly organized space. My thoroughly organized space. I am not even sure I can get around up there with furniture moved and crammed into areas it was never meant to be crammed into.
It can be distressing if I let it become so. I try to avoid that feeling by not viewing the progress. It could never go fast enough for me anyway.
So...here I still sit. Downstairs, displaced, slightly discouraged and disgruntled. But soon. They tell me it will be soon.
TT
Work is continuing on the upstairs ceiling scraping and painting of all surfaces. I won't even go up there. I can't and don't want to see the utter and total mess that once was a thoroughly organized space. My thoroughly organized space. I am not even sure I can get around up there with furniture moved and crammed into areas it was never meant to be crammed into.
It can be distressing if I let it become so. I try to avoid that feeling by not viewing the progress. It could never go fast enough for me anyway.
So...here I still sit. Downstairs, displaced, slightly discouraged and disgruntled. But soon. They tell me it will be soon.
TT
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
200 miles
"200 miles. Okay, we admit: we’re impressed. Not that we have to tell you, but you’re a total champ. You distance demon you."
That was the notification I got on my nike+ running site yesterday evening when I sync'd up my workout. You see? How can I not be motivated when after a tough run I get these kind of responses? My total miles seems to be 206.62 since 3/11/10 when I first started using my shoe sensor. I already have a total of 22.08 for the week and it's only Wednesday morning (my week starts on Sundays).
I had gone through the site earlier yesterday and set up a new goal for myself. I went ahead and committed to trying to run 120 miles in 5 weeks. I should be able to do that. I should, but we will see. I also found another on-line challenge that started 4/30 and ends either 5/21 or 5/15. The confusion on the end date is because the challenge description says the longer date of 5/21 but because this is a nike sponsored challenge it has legals that says it ends 5/15. That challenge has a group of over 4500 runners enrolled and the object is to run 20 miles during that time frame. There is a random drawing at the end for everyone that accomplishes those miles to have a chance of being awarded a pair of Nike's newest shoe. I believe they will give out 5 pairs to the lucky runners. That leaderboard will change drastically with as many competitors it has. I started at position 190 yesterday then moved to 118 after my run and this morning I am at 125. Still, not too bad for that many runners in that race!
I am still working on my smaller challenge to run 210 miles by the end of September. I clocked in with 99.71 miles yesterday and that put me in third place for the moment. I keep flip-flopping that position with a runner that has won a previous challenge we both were in. No - don't know each other...but you start to recognize their runner names. I am 6.09 miles behind the #2 spot - if they don't run and I do! And then, whew, don't know that I can catch #1 who currently has 139 miles to my 99.
So, it seems I have clocked quite a few miles. I never would have thought...never. And never would have thought I would have gotten a response of..."You distance demon you"...even if it is a programmed response triggered by a certain number.
I still had to trigger the right number.
TT
That was the notification I got on my nike+ running site yesterday evening when I sync'd up my workout. You see? How can I not be motivated when after a tough run I get these kind of responses? My total miles seems to be 206.62 since 3/11/10 when I first started using my shoe sensor. I already have a total of 22.08 for the week and it's only Wednesday morning (my week starts on Sundays).
I had gone through the site earlier yesterday and set up a new goal for myself. I went ahead and committed to trying to run 120 miles in 5 weeks. I should be able to do that. I should, but we will see. I also found another on-line challenge that started 4/30 and ends either 5/21 or 5/15. The confusion on the end date is because the challenge description says the longer date of 5/21 but because this is a nike sponsored challenge it has legals that says it ends 5/15. That challenge has a group of over 4500 runners enrolled and the object is to run 20 miles during that time frame. There is a random drawing at the end for everyone that accomplishes those miles to have a chance of being awarded a pair of Nike's newest shoe. I believe they will give out 5 pairs to the lucky runners. That leaderboard will change drastically with as many competitors it has. I started at position 190 yesterday then moved to 118 after my run and this morning I am at 125. Still, not too bad for that many runners in that race!
I am still working on my smaller challenge to run 210 miles by the end of September. I clocked in with 99.71 miles yesterday and that put me in third place for the moment. I keep flip-flopping that position with a runner that has won a previous challenge we both were in. No - don't know each other...but you start to recognize their runner names. I am 6.09 miles behind the #2 spot - if they don't run and I do! And then, whew, don't know that I can catch #1 who currently has 139 miles to my 99.
So, it seems I have clocked quite a few miles. I never would have thought...never. And never would have thought I would have gotten a response of..."You distance demon you"...even if it is a programmed response triggered by a certain number.
I still had to trigger the right number.
TT
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Unhappily Moved
I have been displaced.
I am not working in my upstairs, wonderfully quiet, well seated desk and all that is mine surroundings. I am sitting downstairs. I am not particularly happy about this.
I came home yesterday after work feeling tired and crumpled to find arrangements were already underway to repaint the entire upstairs. I knew a small modicum of these arrangements. I was informed that painting and the scraping of the horribly, grayish popcorn from all the ceilings was planned. This is an undertaking that had to happen before the replacement of carpeting could be started. I just didn’t realize it would have already begun. It had already begun in the extra bedroom upstairs.
The part that bothered me was that I came home to find objects from that one bedroom moved into my sanctum and that the work on that bedroom was almost finished and the plan was to start in my area today! (Well, tomorrow since this happened yesterday evening – which real time right now means today…Tuesday). But that meant I had a sudden attack of “What have they done with my stuff! Did they move any of my stuff? I need to gather up my stuff!”
My book notes were still spread out on my worktable. My laptop and gadgets, accessories and index cards were at my desk…I had things…I had stuff…I had to get moving!
So I gathered my most valued items in a flurry that would have made anyone think I was running from a burning house. It was quick, and as organized as my tired, crumpled mind would allow.
It’s a mess up there. It’s a mess in my wonderfully quiet, well seated area. I’m not sure how long it will stay that way. What happens if these guys get another job in-between? That has happened before and what if they don’t show up again for days, weeks…leaving my spot, my area, my, me, mine…
I have been displaced.
TT
I am not working in my upstairs, wonderfully quiet, well seated desk and all that is mine surroundings. I am sitting downstairs. I am not particularly happy about this.
I came home yesterday after work feeling tired and crumpled to find arrangements were already underway to repaint the entire upstairs. I knew a small modicum of these arrangements. I was informed that painting and the scraping of the horribly, grayish popcorn from all the ceilings was planned. This is an undertaking that had to happen before the replacement of carpeting could be started. I just didn’t realize it would have already begun. It had already begun in the extra bedroom upstairs.
The part that bothered me was that I came home to find objects from that one bedroom moved into my sanctum and that the work on that bedroom was almost finished and the plan was to start in my area today! (Well, tomorrow since this happened yesterday evening – which real time right now means today…Tuesday). But that meant I had a sudden attack of “What have they done with my stuff! Did they move any of my stuff? I need to gather up my stuff!”
My book notes were still spread out on my worktable. My laptop and gadgets, accessories and index cards were at my desk…I had things…I had stuff…I had to get moving!
So I gathered my most valued items in a flurry that would have made anyone think I was running from a burning house. It was quick, and as organized as my tired, crumpled mind would allow.
It’s a mess up there. It’s a mess in my wonderfully quiet, well seated area. I’m not sure how long it will stay that way. What happens if these guys get another job in-between? That has happened before and what if they don’t show up again for days, weeks…leaving my spot, my area, my, me, mine…
I have been displaced.
TT
Monday, May 10, 2010
Memory lapse
I am giving myself a break and decided it is better to write something than not to be writing at all. I have not been writing at all. That isn't what I set out to do but somehow with this change of routine and the past week and a half of pure mental exhaustion I have allowed myself to back out of the things I have loved spending my time doing. I lost focus on things that were mine and willing to give them the ditch because I had allowed others concerns become too much a part of mine when they weren't.
Somehow in the whole scheme of things it was about responsibility. In the midst of this depressing week and a half I was reminded and asked if I knew how much I was cared about? I answered, Yes. But sometimes I don't like to think about it. I thought about my answer and realized the reason I sometimes don't like to think about it is because it comes with so much responsibility for me and I can't always be responsible for everyone. I was allowing myself to feel so responsible for others situations that it fogged my thinking and made me doubt the things I do, including writing, including running.
I basically started asking myself why I did those things. They don't matter to anyone and why was I spending the time on them. I wasn't particularly better or worse than anyone else at them and they were things I did alone so they weren't exactly shared activities. Then I remembered the reasons I do these things when I missed two scheduled 5K races on two Saturdays in a row. My running is a personal accomplishment. I didn't need to run with the entire pack at a particular time at a specific place. I remembered thinking I could do without and run farther on my own and have a better run. And I did.
Then the tough one was the writing, but when the running started to get put back into place, I realized this book of mine has also always been about a personal accomplishment. I have not started out trying to write a best seller. I have said from the beginning my only goal for this book is to see if I can get the entire story written. That was it. I remembered why I started out doing these things.
These were my responsibilities; these were things I was willing to work hard, very hard to try to do. So, I am still a little shaky but now that my memory has returned I might be able to make a little progress again real soon.
Wish me luck.
TT
Somehow in the whole scheme of things it was about responsibility. In the midst of this depressing week and a half I was reminded and asked if I knew how much I was cared about? I answered, Yes. But sometimes I don't like to think about it. I thought about my answer and realized the reason I sometimes don't like to think about it is because it comes with so much responsibility for me and I can't always be responsible for everyone. I was allowing myself to feel so responsible for others situations that it fogged my thinking and made me doubt the things I do, including writing, including running.
I basically started asking myself why I did those things. They don't matter to anyone and why was I spending the time on them. I wasn't particularly better or worse than anyone else at them and they were things I did alone so they weren't exactly shared activities. Then I remembered the reasons I do these things when I missed two scheduled 5K races on two Saturdays in a row. My running is a personal accomplishment. I didn't need to run with the entire pack at a particular time at a specific place. I remembered thinking I could do without and run farther on my own and have a better run. And I did.
Then the tough one was the writing, but when the running started to get put back into place, I realized this book of mine has also always been about a personal accomplishment. I have not started out trying to write a best seller. I have said from the beginning my only goal for this book is to see if I can get the entire story written. That was it. I remembered why I started out doing these things.
These were my responsibilities; these were things I was willing to work hard, very hard to try to do. So, I am still a little shaky but now that my memory has returned I might be able to make a little progress again real soon.
Wish me luck.
TT
Thursday, May 6, 2010
No words
I can't write any words since I haven't written any words. Don't let the pictures fool you into thinking I've been organizing my notes. I'm pretending...
TT
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