Permission

I absolved myself from running last week. I conscientiously told myself it was okay to not get up and run those early morning pushes I've been meticulously beating down for three months. Lot's of miles in the past three months. Lots of early morning wake up calls and quick get ready for work days. That first morning last week I told myself I was okay to not run or think about it for a week. Without that acknowledged permission to myself, it would have played in my mind, back and forth, run, don't run, the entire week, which would have negated the relaxing effect I was needing.

That type of permission worked for me. Then I ended up with a cold the beginning of this week. At the very first sign I took my zicam and sure enough, it seems to have shortened the recover time. But I've gone almost another week without a run. Here's the thing. I'm not exactly beating myself up over it. I know I am registered for a race on Saturday. In the past I would have been in a feverish sweat over the fact I knew I wasn't going to start. I would be admonishing myself for missing another registered run. (There really hasn't been that many but the few stand out).

It isn't the end of it all. I'm still running (well, I will start again), and there are races around every corner of every weekend. This one on Saturday or the one after that or next month. It also seems I'm in the middle of the season change when I can move my running time from early morning to after work. The weather will be that good. The bonus is I already have the foundation of the past three awesome months of training to think about using it toward a registered race or not. It's not like I'm starting from scratch.

Things are forever changing and the idea of getting everything to a perfect place is only setting yourself up for a rude awakening when it changes.  It will change. You can work toward the things you want the best way you can, but need to be open to re-evaluate it as you go along. It can keep you in the present while still working toward the future. It's amazing when you realize that subtle changes can be made without an upheaval of everything you've done. It's amazing how far a little permission can go.
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