Today Changed

It's time for a change.

Yes. I did an overhaul of the look here on this blog. I removed and replaced and deleted, edited. It's like spring cleaning. Time to freshen up, wake up, redirect. Things never stay the same and routines are good but get dull over time if we don't go back and re-evaluate. I needed to ask why and then, why not? What may have been the reason to start may not be the same reason to continue. It doesn't mean there isn't a reason, only that it's time to change, to grow, to learn. And it's all good.

It's about today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Now. Right now, and all those moments we tend to walk past when we live our day-to-day everyday without noticing. They should be noticed.

So I cleaned up the old blog, which is the same blog, but different. Things never stay the same and it was just time for a change.
TT

B&N Book Refund

Barnes and Noble just gave me a credit to my account. It is in the amount of $65.55. I found out by e-mail a few days ago and the credit was posted last night. It's a anti-trust settlement for the overpricing of ebooks by certain publishers, and I'm involved because I bought ebooks, and Barnes and Noble is involved because they could easily track what I purchased during the dates of this lawsuit through my device with them. The wording clearing states "Barnes & Noble was not a party to the settlements but as a Nook customer, you can take advantage of the benefits agreed to by the settling publishers".

You can be sure I will take advantage of the credit! It's not as if I didn't notice the climb in cost of ebooks from the time I first purchased my electronic reader to shortly thereafter. They've made a climb in cost ever since I bought my (1st edition) reader and the retailers had to pitch a lot of books at reduced prices for a select amount of time to keep the buyers coming back. I would have come back anyway. I have no problem buying books or ebooks. When was the last time I was in an actual bookstore? It was always such a pleasurable part of a Saturday Hmm...maybe a trip to a real store might be in order.

I read through the entire settlement statement (or at least the interesting parts) and they figured the refund by the number of books I purchased and paid back at .73 each. They paid more if you bought bestsellers at a rate of 3.17. Minnesota got a slightly higher rate of 3.93 for bestsellers and .94 for regular ebooks because they didn't participate in the first suit but settled with the publishers through separate negotiations. (If I read that part of the settlement correctly). So anyway, I figured I bought 16 bestsellers or I bought 82 regular books, or I bought 8 bestsellers and 41 regular books or... I wasn't going to go back and try to figure the exact books I bought and try to remember if they were bestsellers at the time of purchase or not. I didn't want to do more math. The bottom line is I bought a bunch of books (read them all-yes) and then the mega attorneys had a class action suit and now I have more money to buy more books. It's something I would have done with or without the refund.

I'll use it just the same.
TT

Mr. L's issue

Last night I received a call from Selma.  She was on her way home from work and stuck in traffic.
"Could you pick up Mr. L from day-care?" she asked. "They changed my hours and I tried another way home and now I don't think I'll make it in time to pick him up. I know you've never done it before, but you are on the list, so the daycare center shouldn't have any trouble with you picking him up."
"Yes.  I can go now," I told her. "Jay is off today and we can take his car."
She seemed a little relived.  I'm not sure if it was because we would be able to pick up Mr. L before the day-care closed or because we could take Jay's car. You see, if it was only me and my car, it's hard to obey the child seat laws if:
a) you don't own a child seat
b) you don't have a backseat to put it in
My car, a sporty two-seater, is perfectly legal to sit in the driveway with the top down and play (Yes, me and Mr. L did that a couple of Saturday afternoons ago while I was watching him for a few hours) but not so good for picking up your two-year old grandson with the car actually moving. Not owning a car seat is one thing, but adding the fact that there is nowhere to sit except the front seat doubles the fun. Luckily, I didn't have to deal with that issue. Mr. L had an entirely different issue that never crossed my mind.
I made it to the center, showed my ID and received entrance to Mr. L's classroom. He was the last one in the room sitting at a small table with his teacher. As he turned and saw me, he slowly stood up from his pint-sized chair and began walking away from me. I heard him mutter, "Oh no," as he proceeded farther away. I glanced down at the teacher as she got up from her own pint-sized chair and told him, "You're not in trouble." The thought that he might frequently be in trouble flashed quickly in and out of my mind but I put that thought aside when the teacher gathered her items to close up for the day. He might not have done anything wrong but somewhere in his two year old mind, his routine had drastically changed by me showing up. It was an issue he was trying to process.
Mr. L finally turned around, smiled tentatively and gave me his hand, and we made our way out of the day care toward Jay's car where Jay was waiting in the backseat. Even before we made it to the car, I could tell the gears in Mr. L's head were clicking, and grinding, and spinning, as he tried to figure out what had happened to his routine. More importantly, I think he was trying to figure out what happened to his mother! We made it to the car and Jay strapped him into the backseat next to him as I took the wheel and got all of us safely home. The serious look of mild panic stayed on Mr. L's face until he finally recognized our street. He seemed considerably less apprehensive when he realized we weren't going to kidnap him to some never-seen-before location. He was even more relived when he saw his mother's car already parked and waiting in front of our house as we pulled up the drive. He scrambled out of the car, Selma scooped him up, and he waved and uttered forceful goodbyes as he was happily deposited into his mother's recognizable car.
So all was good. I had forgotten that one small change in a toddlers routine could cause such an issue. I won't forget the utter look of confusion on his face when I showed up at his classroom and all the way home. He was definitely not sure what was going on, but it all worked out well in the end. I should probably do some research on car seats for sports car.
It's great he was so quickly able to get over this issue and I don't have any issue. I mean, whenever I show up anywhere for anyone, I'm sort of used to getting a response of , "Oh no".
TT

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Is it legal to allow a child to ride in the front seat? 
"...law does not specify where in the vehicle a child is required to ride – BUT – the law does require that all child safety seat systems must be used according to the owner’s manuals."
It sounds like in my state, I only need to get the right car seat. Good to know!

Taxes done! Wait over!

Bookkeeping is finished! Well, it is done as far as I needed to get it done for filing our taxes. What a huge weight is finally off my shoulders with that one. I was so far behind. I never could get my head into the task and it was extremely hard to make myself find the time to go through the entire process. But I did and as of last night I finally hit the enter button and got the return text that it has all been filed. Whew!

I wanted to keep going with more of the beginning work last night but I needed to pull myself away. Do I really need to be working 12 hour days at a computer? No wonder I can't get the exercise to break this 2 pound weight plateau where I've managed to camp out, make a home, build a cottage for a permanent place for it to live with me. I thought I had shaken the weight off with finally finishing the taxes but that was another type of weight to carry around completely. Ah well, the fact is, I don't like the idea of getting too comfortable at this poundage weight place I'm at, (not the heavy burden of work weight) even though I've managed to drop five pounds this year (real weight-not burden weight). It's this interminable 2 pound slot I keep losing and gaining for the past month that I'm fretting about. I guess the weight weight might be easier to lose than the continuing burden weight of work I can carry around.
But wait.  That's for another time and whine.
TT

Start now

The good news today is that you are going to live. Start.

I could go on, but that's a lot to think about.
TT

Cha-cha-cha-changes

I've been busy. I've had much to do at work. I've been sorting and sifting and keeping up.

I've also been working on things at home. I have all the books to close out for the magic shop so I've had to total and balance and file with the IRS.

I've tried hard to keep running. I've increased my mileage and ran three 5Ks in three months, placing in two. I just finished a 5 mile run this morning that my nike+ tracker failed to record.  

I've been watching my nutrition like a hawk using not one but two applications to food journal. 

I've continued to visit my writing site and the FB site as if I was really getting something out of it.

I've been busy.

Work is going to be busy or not. I just got a great review and a raise.

I've got the large portion of end-of-year bookkeeping done and the magic shop is doing very well.

I ran another 5 miles this morning whether or not my device says I did.

I already eat very well and don't need the extra electronic obsessions or the social media.

I'm making some changes. I don't know exactly what all of them might be, but they will happen. 

TT 

Five down

I have been upstairs at my laptop for a while now. I tried to write here but the last five paragraphs I wrote got highlighted and deleted. That's the way it's been going this evening as far as writing is concerned. After I erased the fifth paragraph, I got distracted and wandered off my document to check a few other blogs. I merely went to my own and clicked on the upper navigation that said, 'Next Blog>>' and it took me there.  So I did that for a while noticing the dates on each of the 'Next Blogs>>'. Most were dated July 2013 or 2010 or even some many more months ago. I guess they erased their fifth paragraphs, too.

Now my laundry is done and I guess I should wander on downstairs. At least I got in one last sixth paragraph.
TT

High Five

I have gone to the gym the past three consecutive days to run. On the treadmill.
Saying that the treadmill is not my favorite place to run is an understatement. But my consistency was going out the window and the challenge I created for myself, by myself, for myself, was telling me I was behind. There is nothing quite like a computer application as a motivator.

The weather should clear up enough today for me to get my run outside. I'm looking forward to it and I realized when I made up my mind to go to the gym to run, it really wasn't so bad. My entire intention for re-joining the gym the day after Christmas last year was to use it when I couldn't get outside to run. I had to remind myself after skipping days at a time the past few weeks due to the bad weather, that I had another option. I used it well. It served me well and my computer application is giving me high fives for catching up on my own challenge.

Doesn't everyone want a high five from an application?
TT

Wishes

 If wishes were horses than beggars would ride.

The 16th century English nursery rhyme suggests it is useless to wish and better to take action. I have always had a particular liking to that saying since I was a small child. It might have been due to the idea that I imagined myself riding actual horses and not so much about the real meaning of the sentence. I wanted to get up on that horse and take off in a gallop. It would be my horse to saddle up and throw my leg over it's broad back and hold those reins firmly in my hand. I would have my horse there for me whenever I wanted to take him out for a run. I wish.

I never got a horse. I did steal away with a friend in high school and ride other people's horses without their permission. I got to pretend they might be mine for those few afternoons. So, maybe even back then, I was already more of an action person as opposed to a wishing person. Or at least a combination of both. I wish I had a horse, but I got my fix by riding someone else's.

Is wishing really useless?  I'm not so sure.  You have to have that starting point, don't you?  Otherwise, you might wander through the day to day without any real purpose or motivation. Once I realize what my wish could be, I can decide a way to take steps toward getting it. Whatever it is. But that's me, maybe, and not the one who is only wishing without the next step.

So why did that silly, old nursery rhyme come into my head? It might be time for me to slow down the actions and do a little wishing. Actions without any real purpose are just as useless as wishes without actions.

Today this beggar is going to do some wishing.  Only after doing that for a while, will I take up the reins and steal away a ride.
TT

Where's that recipe?

I need a break.  The only thing I want to do at the moment is sit back and sip coffee. That's it. I've arrived at the moment when I've propelled myself forward into so many of my real and imagined responsibilities, I feel like I am going in circles and not arriving anywhere. It's not a good feeling to be so busy and pushing so hard without getting anywhere.

I know it's time to go over what I have been working on the past three months.  It's time for me to take a look at what is working and, more importantly, what isn't.  It takes a few moments to see the things that need to be changed and figure out how to change them. I've been thinking of doing that for over a week now.  It hasn't happened.  When do I get to it?

I know.  Whip up that magic formula for 'making time.' Let me see if I can remember where I left that.  But, I'll have to look later.  I've got some things that won't wait and I don't even have time for coffee.  You know how it is.  You've been there.

A break would be nice.  Let me see if I can work that in somewhere.
TT

Fact:

I'm not very chipper this morning.  I'm dwelling on the fact I won't be heading out on Friday afternoon for my race at the coast. I'm bemoaning the fact I won't be going out to my own personal paradise. It's just one of those let downs that could have been avoided if I had made my hotel reservation in a timely manner. Maybe it isn't such a great idea to think it really IS my own personal paradise and that I will always have a place to stay whenever I want or need it.  Hello, reality!

So, I will lean back, away from the feelings, and take a look at it.  Do I really want to mess up my day with thoughts of something I can't do anything about?

Fact: That particular race weekend isn't going to happen for me.
Fact: I'm trying to play some kind of guilt card on myself.
Fact: Even if I'm guilty, it doesn't change the circumstances and nobody else cares.
I don't want to mess up a perfectly good day. This instance isn't worth the time and energy. Let it go and plan the next one.

Fact: There are other races out there.
Fact: I'm already feeling better about searching.
Fact: I can make it to my personal paradise when the weather is warmer, with or without a race.

Okay. It isn't really all that bad. I could have wasted a lot of good energy.
TT

Health check

I took my health screening at work this morning. It's part our company's corporate wellness program. You go in after fasting 9 hours and they stick a needle into your finger to draw a mosquito's amount of blood. They put it on a square slide and into a small machine. While that is cooking up, they take your blood pressure, height and weight.  Once the small machine is finished it has a digital display of numbers. I guess I passed.  Everything was optimal or near optimal although cholesterol might have been a tad higher than it should be.

The nurse suggested I eat more fiber.  My thought was she had no idea how much fiber I actually eat. Then she suggested I eat nuts.

"Nuts," I asked. "But nuts are very high in fat."

She said, "But good fat."

"It's still fat. I obviously have too much of it if my cholesterol is high."

She said a snack serving every day would be good.

I said the ratio of fat to a serving of nuts was way too high.  I am better off eating my snack of fruit.

Then she said, "But you need to watch the sugar in the fruit."

Why is everything bad for you?  I went away thinking too much about it. I need to cut down on fats but I should eat nuts that are high in fats but watch my intake of fruit because of the natural sugars they contain even though my glucose is optimal. You need to eat so many servings of this and that and if I actually ate those recommended amounts I would weigh more than I should and need to cut back.  On what exactly, I'm not sure. I know I'm not going to be my own guinea pig and eat nuts every day to see if my cholesterol goes down. That doesn't even sound rational. I'm sure if I did experiment with it, I'd end up with some other level out of whack. Wait.

I had my health screening today. Everything on the list turned out optimal or near optimal. Period.

TT   

Appreciation

It's a Monday and I'm feeling really good. I am not minding the horrific drop in temperatures or the warning of icy rain for later tonight and tomorrow morning. Despite the turn in the weather, there is definitely something good in the air.

I wonder if it has anything to do with how very good my coffee tastes to me this morning. I wonder if it has anything to do with how very pitch dark it was just a few minutes ago, when now it's a hazy blue. Maybe it's the amount of things I got to do over the weekend before going back to work today. Maybe. I can certainly appreciate all those things.

I have a feeling it isn't so much all the things going on outside of me. Those are all great and good.  Really, they are. I can't keep up with all the good things.  What a nice spot to be in to start a new week.

TT

Unofficially Celebrating

I got up to a mild morning. I knew I wanted to get a run in early and after puttering around for an hour while I sipped coffee I decided I was ready to head out my front door. Nice. Great temperature, cloudy, and a slightly cool breeze that washed over me as I started to warm up. I took myself around my neighborhood at a steady pace and lapped my 3 mile route twice to make it a nice 6+ miler. I wanted to get that distance in early this week because I am signed up for a 10K on Saturday.

But that 10K is out of town, close to the coast and it turns out the time we waited to book our room has left us without. I didn't realize when we put off making the reservations for the hotel we were going to be up against Spring Break and also Oysterfest. I could curse myself now for not making sure we had a place to stay.  I will miss my race, I will miss having fresh oysters afterward. That was always my way of celebrating after the race; Oysters on the half shell and Dos Equis dressed. (I've done this particular 10K twice before with the same celebration both times). I will have to miss it this year.

But I will keep on running. I'll find another race this month hopefully the same distance and if not I will find another in May. It's the way it goes sometimes. I didn't plan enough ahead but I know I was ready when I completed the distance this morning.  It was a nice run on a nice mild morning.

I will probably run the 10K distance again next Saturday whether it's an official race or unofficially alone. Now the only thing I'll need to do is figure out is where I will go for my official/unofficial celebration afterward.
TT

Breaking down walls

I think I know the writing.com site I have been frequenting since the end of last April is not for me. That took too long to figure out. I think I've known for a while but when I realized I was searching, yet again, for another site it became more than apparently evident. I have already bailed on one site (finestories.com) and now this will be yet another.  Is three a charm or maybe I should stop looking to sites for validation. I'm not sure, so I'll have to round that corner before I decide. I'll need to give it some thought. Better yet, I don't think I will continue to think about that and try my hand at actually writing, editing, putting aside, re-reading, editing, and doing the work it takes to make a story. I'm not talking a first draft or even a second. I'm talking the real work.

What I know now is writing that story all the way through to the end is not writing a story or a book or a novel. It isn't. Don't kid yourself, Tessa. There is so much more work involved than anyone putting a bunch of words together, no matter how good some of them might be, might realize. But what I must face and decide, is if I will let that wall of work hold me back or if I have what it takes to get past it. The wall is there to stop the ones that don't have what it takes. I see them hovering around that wall.  I know, I've spent too much time waiting there for it to open up. It won't. It's there for a reason.

I heard another very good saying recently that I have been applying to a lot of my thinking.  The hill won't get any lower by waiting.

It's time to find a way around walls and then start climbing some hills.
TT  

High Priority

I guess I better give some thought to my fiction writing. It's happening whether I want to think about it or not. Those early morning hours when I am half asleep are being invaded with decisions about my story Crossed Wires. The thought to eliminate the prologue plays in my head. I need to incorporate it into the story but how exactly can I do that and still set up the story?

The prologue was actually a writing exercise. It was merely a 'he said, she said' version of a situation.  I thought I'd make it into a short story; a quick, light romance. It ended up being the word count of a short novella instead of a short story. I know I can go back and clean it up but I wanted to go ahead and write another short story first. I have a short story length on The Beach House which, again, will end up another short novella and not a short story. Then there is Imaginary Lines that I just took off writing with no idea what the story is really about (yet).

All these works in progress and I haven't touched a one of them. It's been at least three months, possibly more. And here I am thinking about them again as they invade my sleeping time and making me aware they are still brewing deep in my mind. So, along with everything else I have going on, I can add this to my long list of things to do.  How do I sort out a list like this when everything is a high priority?
TT