Manuscript

 I am going against everything everyone has told me to do when attempting to take on the daunting task of writing a book of fiction.  I am hurling away every piece of advice and suggestion that has been given to me and have decided instead to following my own instincts on what I need to do next with what I already have.
Did you really expect me to do any different?  I can try and try to do things the way that has been proven successfully by others that pursue similar endeavours and yet, I seem to be the only person those proven ways never seem to work.

As you can see on the left, I have printed all the current pages of the fiction I have been struggling to write, to finish, and to follow all those rules and suggestions that people have generously given me.  I am planning on re-reading the entire story, start to finish.  I am going to see what I think as I'm reading.  I will decide what I need to do as I read, even if that means editing, changing, or adding to current portions of this draft.

Printing out the pages was never one of the things I was supposed to do.  Re-reading, editing, changing and adding at this point were other things I was warned not to do.  Write.  I'm supposed to keep writing.  Complete the first draft, then go back and do all those things. It's not that I'm not appreciative to the suggestions and advice that was meant to help.  I am.  It's the way that has been proven to work and that's the way you are supposed to do it or you will never finish it.  But really?  Not so much for me.  I've been trying to do it that way and guess what? I'm still not finished yet! So no more.  My way.

It doesn't look like many pages but then it's not exactly in manuscript format.  The margins should be much smaller and it's not double spaced.  I can't imagine how many printed pages it would be if it was in correct editor format.  Too many for what I am doing.

I'm starting from here now.  I'm going to try really hard to listen to myself and go from there.  I haven't come this far to chuck it all out.  Or maybe I have and will decide that once I've given it another read-through.  It will be up to me.  The thing is, I'm still working on it.  It hasn't been chucked out which I suspect might have been far easier for me to do than keeping at it.  I'll sort through it all.  I can afford a bit more time on this.  And besides, right now, I'm in-between the books I've been reading anyway.  I might as well read this one.  It might just prompt me to give it an ending.

TT   

Bread

 It was as simple as 1-2-3.
I don't know what made me pull down my old machine, clean it up as if it was sparkling new and use it to bake up some bread.  I used to do it all the time.  I would make a small loaf each week and eat it up all by myself.  That was such a long time ago.
It had been in my head to do again recently.  I had the ingredients already purchased but I hadn't gotten around to actually doing it - until yesterday.  Then I went ahead and decided it was a good day for it.
It's almost like cheating since the machine makes it way too easy.  It does all the work for you and luckily, that old (but now sparkling new) machine still works just fine - like new.  It's as simple as adding all the ingredients into the pail...yeast last.  Put the pail into the machine, touch the buttons to select and start and it mixes, kneads, lets rise and bakes for you.  The house still smells wonderful and you get some really great bread.  Simple. 1-2-3.

TT

Starting early

If you start the day early enough does it mean you won't run out of time?  I don't want to run out of time today.  And I did start early.  I've already balanced the checkbooks, gone to the post office and grocery store.  It's 8:29am.  I have lists of things in my head that I would like to do today.  Does that mean since I've already started that I'll get them all done?
Not likely.  The reality is I've got more things in my head to do than anyone could tackle in a day by themselves.  Does it mean I shouldn't try?  Oh, no.  I'm already a piece of the way down that trying path already.   Should I stop to organize or prioritize?  Oh, no.  I'm not stopping or I won't get things done.  I would just have nice organized, prioritized lists of things to do.  If I don't just do them they are still just a nice list. 
How about I just keep going with doing things that I need to get done?  I'll stop when I want and I can sort through it all in my head as I go along.  No plan, no list, just doing as I do. 
I've certainly started early enough.  Let's see how far down that path I can get.
TT

Again

I woke up this morning blurred about what day it was.  It's Wednesday, I thought.  No, wait.  It's Thursday, I think.  Than I thought, what does it matter?  Get up, get dressed, do it again.  That daily thing.  A good daily thing but obviously something that I have done many times for it to blur together.
It's good to be comfortable with it, secure, normal.  It's okay that Wednesday is pretty much the same as Thursday in as far as the routine.  Would I like for it to be different?  I have a feeling if I wasn't doing this precise thing most mornings I would somehow fall into another routine that would be different but the same.
When would there ever be a morning that I wouldn't get up, get dressed, do it again?  Even if the doing it again is something different than I do now?  The doing it again now should be good and is. And just maybe, it's a little too soon to be thinking what the do it again later might be.  Or maybe not.  If I want to get from here to there, I should give some thought to it or I might not be where I'd like to be when it is time to do the something different. 
No.  I have a feeling with all the things I've already done along the way, I'll make the most out of where ever I'll be when it's time to do it again differently.
TT

All about the writer

I admit I had to stop and chuckle at myself.  I was going through a few of my recent posts and was re-reading my Rules of Writing, 6 that I wrote on October 20th.  Yes, I've written six of these recurring pieces of fiction and they are all posted here in this blog.  I came up with this crazy idea to create a place I could go to discuss the problems I was having with my writing.  I thought up the Rules of Writing (ROW) offices and the people that work there.  They were all just ideas in my head.
In the first piece, I fictiously went there to find out what the rules were, to write...or more accurately to find out how many there were.  That led me down a path that started on July 9, 2009 and now every so often I've written another and another until I've come up with six.  (I could give you all the dates for each one but it's easier to just look under the top tab - Favorite Posts).
So I was re-reading my most recent installment and I had to chuckle, smirk, and giggle a little to myself.  The part that did this to me was contained in the latter section of this particular piece.  I couldn't help but think how I had written it this way and gotten away with it.  These eight lines I have copied below is what had me grinning.  Have you ever heard of answering a question with a question?  Do you think anyone can get away with it for...hmmm...let me see....about eight lines?

I turned and started to go but turned back to Josh and said, "What are you doing here?"
"What?" he asked.
"Why are you here in the store?"
"Why don't you tell me," he said.
"You don't think it's a little odd that I meet you here in the store instead of at the Rules Of Writing office?" I explained.
He looked at me blankly and said, "Do you think it's strange?"
"Well, yeah. I mean this is almost exactly the first scene of how my two main characters meet in my story. You there," I said pointing at him. "At the wine rack. She sees him and takes the bottle of Merlot."
"Really," he says noncommittally.
"Yes."

OK.  It might not be a full eight lines of a question to answer a question but it's close.  And when I re-read it and realized it and then I thought...it worked!  Well, when I realized that, I couldn't help but smile and chuckle and giggle.  You can picture the two of them going at it that way, can't you?  Well, I guess I could and it made me smile. 
I think that might be one of the Rules of Writing.  You have to be able to picture it and most definitely, it should make the writer smile.
TT

Appreciation over inspiration

I am looking up the word inspiration.  That word wants to cling in my head and is beginning to try to dominate and press out other words that might be more accurate for certain things I have been thinking of lately.  Is everything an inspiration?  Yes.  No.  Maybe.  Does it depend on the person being inspired?  And how exactly does a person become inspired?  Do I wait to do things until I'm inspired or does the inspiration happen along the way as I progress through what I am doing?
I've never been much good at waiting if I could go ahead and get started.  It doesn't mean I might not slow down at some point when I am feeling less inspired but I also think there are varying degrees of inspiration.  Don't you? 
Inspiration might be defined as an unconscious burst of creativity.  I also saw where it was defined as a result of an inspired activity.  I don't much care for definitions that use the word you are looking up to define itself but it might help in knowing that inspiration is something that happens as you are doing and not waiting for it to just happen to you.  I like the idea of an unconscious burst of creativity.  I think that is the more accurate.  You don't wait around for it or you might just miss it.  But I think there is another word I need to keep in mind when I am going through my day unconsciously waiting for bursts of creativity.  I think it is appreciation.  That is defined as a sensitive awareness.  Could that be the key?  Shouldn't I be going through my daily routines with a dose of sensitive awareness?  It can be tucked away but still there to be used at any given time...like when I am sent a video clip about a restaurant that is serving $200 meals of PB&J and Mac and Cheese and not just take away the ridiculousness of the price for these items but find the innovation and be able to appreciate that?  To use that thought to maybe have an early morning inspiration for a PB & J cookie?  To think how the peanut butter would replace part of the fat ingredients, a portion of brown sugar substitutes a portion of refined sugar and maybe a thumbprint jelly center or a melted grape fruit gummy with crushed peanuts drizzled over the top might be a good tasting cookie?
I am beginning to think I need to keep appreciation more in the forefront of my mind instead of inspiration.  I think the one will help lead to the other more times than not.
I can definitely see where it might lead to more pleasurable and different journeys along the way. 
(Or maybe I just got up way too early).
TT

Childhood food

I was sent a link that I can't help but share.  It's about food and inspiration and these chefs from Chicago that have been doing some greatly innovative things lately.  They have a restaurant called Next and they change the theme and menu every three months.  They always sell out.  The chefs are Grant Achatz and Dave Beran and they currently have opened Next with their newest theme of Childhood.  Yes...the foods you remember from Childhood - like PB & J sandwiches and Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup and Mac and Cheese.  Remember those?  How about going (if you could even get tickets to get in) to a very high scale restaurant in Chicago and paying $200.00 for a menu containing these items.
Really?!  Like really?  That might be the immediate reaction.  Heck no!  That was my reaction.  I can get those things, make them myself, for a whole...a whole lot less.  Yes.  I could!  But since there is no chance I will be going to Chicago (I hear they have already had a frost!-forget that) and paying $200 for any meal, there isn't much else for me to fret about but to enjoy the ideas these chefs have come up with.   This isn't about a poor soul like me eating an expensive meal.  There ARE people that get tickets and can afford to go and get the opportunity of this experience.  Because that is what this is really all about.  Yes, it's about food.  It's a restaurant and you eat.  But it is also about the entire experience.  These Chefs elevated this food to such a high level but what they also have done is open up the converstions for those dining to share childhood feelings and experiences.  Who would think to have a menu of such items and charge these prices?  Take a look first...then see what you think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pmoE9W2htM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Who doesn't remember donut holes and licking the icing or batter directly off the electric beater?   But would you ever think of being served this way?  They did.  It makes me happy and excited to just see what they do and what they have come up with.  It certainly makes me think.  It does.  Just watching the clip opens that imagination door to any possibility.  So I'm feeling pretty inspired right now.  Not that I would come up with anything to this level but I'm always looking for inspiration.  This little clip did that.  Kinda exciting.  Hope you liked!
TT  

Weekends gone

I would pose the question, "What happened to the weekend?" except I already know the answer.  It's gone, done, finished, finito.  Wow.  "That was quick", I might say, except it was so jammed packed.  Was there ever a moment when I actually stopped?  I'd try to think of when that was but thinking back and referring to memory is too taxing right now.  And well, sure, of course there had to be times I stopped.   I think it might have been when I was asleep! 
I guess it's a very good thing when you have multitude of things going on and keeping you busy that you don't realize you've eaten through a majority of your day, days, weekends.  Everything that went on was productive and yet I still didn't get around to some of the normal routine things I would do.  I usually do all my ironing late Sunday afternoon.  I never got a chance to do that.  I was still doing laundry late Sunday and I can't iron until that is finished.  I have a stack of ironing to do now and yet I am not feeling bad about it because the other things I did instead were just as necessary.  I guess they were.  They kept me busy all day.  If I could only remember what they all were.  Don't make me think back right now.  It's too late anyway because something has happened to the weekend.  Oh, I know...it's gone, done, finished, finito.  Time to start thinking about today instead.
TT 

What it's for

On what had to be the best day of vacation recently, Jay had purchased for me a small mosaic dish.  It turned out the name of the small shop was called Paradise House and I thought at the time how the name was so very appropriate.  The place, and not just the shop, has always been that for me, a paradise, a get-away, a perfect spot to do nothing while doing what I need to do most.  That particular day had turned out particularly amazing.  It was everything I could have hoped for and more.  The fact that it was relaxed and easy and that Jay bought me this simple catch-all for paper clips and what-not that he said would look good here in my office upstairs was so pleasantly wonderful.  It was truly an all around best day.
Since that day the past week and a half, there have been so many things that have happened.  Or maybe I'm confused.  It's seems to have been stock piled high with activity but my short term memory is not serving me very well.  I'm remembering certain things yet others I'm not sure about.  Did I do that or did I hear that wrong?  Am I forgetting something or oh, yeah, you did tell me that...I forgot.  Ordinarily I would just chalk it up to my advanced age and diminishing brain cells.  That would seem to be the most logical diagnosis.  Then I'm not so sure and think it might very well be because of what happened a week and a half ago.  I know I had to search my memory banks when I saw the small mosaic dish again.  I snapped a picture of it to prove it was really there.  When I saw it, I had that blank, lapse of memory about when and how it had arrived at that spot.  It took me by surprise when I saw it and had to think hard.
I had done it but it didn't come to me right away.  Somehow in all the confusion of a car with belongings scattered everywhere and every which way I had recovered a brown paper bag with the words Paradise House across the front and shoved it into a suitcase.  One we took with us as everything else was left unretrieved.  I must have done it that very same day we arrived back home while I was unpacking whatever we had with us. 
Then I came up to my office here upstairs the other day and saw the unwrapped contents of that brown paper bag.  At first I could not remember how it got there and it confused me when I saw it, yet it made me feel good.  Because eventually I did remember.
I put it there.  I snatched it up, stowed it away and put it where it should have gone in the first place.  So I could remember that Best Day.  The one before all that other stuff happened.

I think that is what it's for.
TT 

Frantic food

Here is a look at how the food I prepared yesterday turned out for Selma's baby shower.

The Spinach Lasagna turned out cheesy and creamy.  The simple appetizers of fruit and veggies made a nice presentation and guests were not shy about helping themselves.  All in all the final results turned out well and were well received.

Needless to say, I wish the behind the scenes with me had been a little less amp'd.  I had all day but time kept slipping away from me.  I couldn't get hold of the time and things just kept taking me longer and the clock kept ticking and I knew I had a deadline I didn't think I would meet and still put out the food needed for this gathering.  Yeah.  I was pumping myself up with stress.  I didn't even start to tackle the two extra dips I was going to make.  A thought passed through my head to just leave it all and go out for another run...but, no, I didn't do that.
I didn't get home from the grocery store until noon and I had been going since early morning.  My run, taking Jay out to get the tint and OnStar for his new SUV, the groceries and here it was already noon and the party started at 4:00 and the food (and myself) needed to be there a bit before to get food in order.  Right?  Okay, so I started out with all this...(plus more with cheese, pasta, spinach, pork...)

Most people are carving pumpkins this time of year but I was carving watermelon.  It took an entire hour to get the fruit all washed, sliced and diced, mixed together and refrigerated to be served cold.  Vegetables took another 20-30 minutes and then I put the water on to boil for the lasagna noodles.  I cooked up the ground pork and Italian sausage, grated two kinds of cheese, and had everything ready (spinach, ricotta-third cheese) for an assembly line to start layering my pasta.  Time, time...how could it possibly be 2:45 already!  My white sauce wasn't thickening enough even for a thin sauce...remedy that...then I run out of it, so hurry! make another batch.  Instead of two pans of lasagna I was ending up with one and a skimpy half..will have to do.  It's after 3:00 and I'm not dressed and I still have to pack it all up and drive over to the house.  I'll bake it there.
I got my frantic self there and I think it went well.  I left at about seven after the party and was extremely tired.  But today is another day.  I have a full kitchen of dirty pots and pans to clean up from yesterday.  That will need to be the first order of business.  Then...then after that...I'll see.
I've got another bright day to look forward to, don't I?
TT

Bright day

I'm up early but not dressed for work so I must have known it was the weekend.  I can't tell if this last week went fast or slow, busy or boring.  It doesn't matter since I'm sure it's Saturday morning and I have a few things I need to do.
I will be following Jay to take his new SUV in to get the windows tinted and to add the OnStar to his compatible vehicle.  Then I will drop him off at work and need to start with grocery shopping and cooking for Selma's baby shower which is today at 4:00pm.  I went over to her house last night and picked up the lasagna pan but I will probably need to make two pans of lasagna.  I've settled on keeping the menu very short and straight forward.  I want to be able to have everything easy and prepared in advance so I won't be in the kitchen while guests are there and to be able to keep her kitchen clean.  She also thought simple veggies and fruit were good appetizer options that most of the ladies coming would enjoy.  Who am I to argue?  I could still make some olive and sun-dried tomato tapenade and cannelli bean and garlic dip for us and the guys for after the party.  Those would go great with a drink afterward.  Then the meal would be a mixed green salad and the Italian sausage and spinach lasagna (which is why I'm thinking two pan of lasagna).  Add the fresh fruit and some whipped topping and they've got a great dessert, too.
So that is all settled.  Still a little too dark outdoors at the moment so I have time for another cup of coffee.  If I don't get too distracted I can get a short run in and have time to shower and dress before heading out to take Jay to work.  I'll throw together my grocery list and then start prepping my fruit and veggies.  I think there is some new music I wanted to download so I can keep the tunes going while I'm in the kitchen. 
Yes, it is Saturday morning.  Looks like it's going to be a bright day.
TT
----------------------------
8:32am - Just finished a four mile run and  barely have enough time to shower!  Jay wants to leave the house at 9:00am.
11:47am - This is taking longer than I thought!  Dropped off Jay, got all the groceries and just unloaded them all.  Downloading the newly released Evanescense (self-titled) album and ready to start all prep work in the kitchen!  Whew!  Need to make up some time.
7:10pm - Made it home after the shower.  I'm tired.

Normal things

I reverted back and wrote up a new Rules of Writing episode (see previous post).  The idea of going back to my fictional place of finding out the rules and then breaking them in my own imagination has always seemed to be a fun and creative thing for me.  Just the medicine I might have been needing at about that point.  I have all the links to my Rules of Writing in the upper tab labeled Favorite Posts which is right beside my Home tab and About This Blog.  I should probably print up all six episodes for me just to have.
I went out during my lunch hour yesterday and finally picked up the prizes we planned to give away at Selma's baby shower.  It is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon and this was something I was planning on doing last week.  We all know last week didn't go anywhere near I would have expected it to go.  Or maybe not everyone knows but I manage quite well here all by my lonesome.  So I got that done.  I still need to get the gift bags to put them all in.  Maybe I will make another lunch time trip for those.
Selma made it easy for me since she requested I make white sauce lasagna.  I can pull that together without a problem although I might need to borrow my nicer lasagna pan back from Sonny.  I thought about appetizers but I am swaying a bit on that part of the menu.  I'll decide soon enough.  At least before I head out to get my ingredients.  I'm looking forward to the task of cooking tomorrow.  There is something very healing about that, too, for me.  And running.  Although I haven't done that yet.  Somehow mental stress can play a horrible game on your physical and I found I just needed to take that break.  Not sure how long a break but I'm not going to rush.  I have cooking first up...then writing.
Maybe I will go back and print up all my Rules of Writing episodes and give them all a perusal in order.  Why not?
TT 

Rules of Writing, 6

It was just another routine, mundane afternoon.  I had been rushing around trying to fit in everything from work, to running, to getting through a tough patch that had put my life into a short tailspin.  I was having a hard time trying to fit everything in that needed to be done and I knew I was taking longer to process all the information that was coming at me too quickly.  My mind was still slightly clouded but I was managing.
I walked into the grocery store with a short list of items.  I thought it would be easier to pick up a few items for dinner than try to tax my brain with coming up with something from what I already had in my pantry.  I made my way through the long aisles and was trying hard to stay focused on only the items on my list.  I wanted to make quick and short work of this errand.  I was bustling along but I came to a gradual slowing of my pace as I came closer to the wine section.  I immediately was thinking, "it's not on the list, stick to the list" and then immediately changed it to, "I'll only pick up one bottle, it will only take an extra moment."  I thought, what the heck, and turned down toward the wine racks. 
I immediately saw the back of a man leaning down.  He was intent on a few bottles of red.  I stopped and viewed his broad back.  I could see how lean and muscled he was even underneath his dark suit.  I was slightly startled out of my perusal when he stood up to his full height and turned to look at me as if he sensed I was there staring at him.  "Oh, sorry," he said.  "I'm in your way."
"N-No," I stuttered, shaking my head.  If I flushed I can't be sure but I barreled ahead and said, "I see what I wanted."  I proceeded to move to the area he had been so intent on a few moments earlier and pulled a bottle of Merlot from the rack.  "This is it," I pronounced as I held up the bottle in my hand like a prize.  If I hadn't been blushing before I could feel it now as I tried to remove the lopsided smile from my face. He grinned and looked slightly puzzled at me for a moment.  I was searching for something to say in order to back away with my awkwardness when he finally said, "You're Theresa."
I stared up at him, my eyes large and showing more stunned feeling than I was wanting to divulge.  As I admitted, "Yes, I am," I realized I recognized the dark haired man before me.  "You are Josh, right?"  I asked.  He grinned and nodded, "Yes, from the Office - the ROW office.  You were there in April in conference room C looking for Erik."
"But he wasn't in," I finished for him.
"Yes," he agreed.  "How is the writing going?"
I looked down at the floor and tried to vanish before him.  Knowing I didn't possess the particular skill of invisibility I looked back up at him instead.  After a deep sigh, I shrugged one shoulder and told him, "I don't talk about it."
His tawny eyes grazed me playfully and he gave me the smallest of grins.  "You don't talk about it?"
"No."
"Since April, you haven't talked about it?"
"No."
"Why not?"
I took a really deep breath and blew it out hard.  I made a face and finally said, "It was too much talk.  I decided all I ever did was talk about how this wasn't right and how that didn't work and how I wasn't doing enough.  I decided I would shut up about it.  All I did was talk and it wasn't helping anything."
Josh's grin grew serious and he asked, "So you stopped writing?"
I lifted my eyes up at him and said, "No, not completely.  But I wouldn't let myself talk about it.  No one wanted to hear about it and I was tired of hearing myself go on about it if I wasn't doing anything more than talking." 
"And how has that worked out for you?" he asked.  I noticed the small grin was playing on his face again.
"Fine," I said strongly with an uplift to my shoulders.  "I don't buy into that idea you have to talk about everything to feel better about it theory.  In fact, all the talk was making it worse not better.  I decided to stop talking and do it and if I didn't do it, then there was no reason to talk about it."
He paused and thought about that for a moment looking upward.  He rubbed his chin with his hand and then looked back at me.  "As long as it's working for you," he finally said.  "Enjoy the wine," he said.
I turned and started to go but turned back to Josh and said, "What are you doing here?"
"What?" he asked.
"Why are you here in the store?"
"Why don't you tell me," he said.
"You don't think it's a little odd that I meet you here in the store instead of at the Rules Of Writing office?" I explained.
He looked at me blankly and said, "Do you think it's strange?"
"Well, yeah.  I mean this is almost exactly the first scene of how my two main characters meet in my story.  You there," I said pointing at him.  "At the wine rack.  She sees him and takes the bottle of Merlot."
"Really," he says noncommittally.
"Yes."
His eyes were looking down at my playfully again.  "Maybe it's okay if you don't talk about it but something tells me those characters of your's might have a thing or two more to say."
I thought about that for a moment than admitted grudgling, "Maybe.  Maybe they do."
He lifted his arms out slightly from his sides.  "Why else would we be here today in this situation.  Why else did you put us here."
I argued, "You were here.  I was just doing these things that needed to be taken care of."
He wagged his finger at me.  "Oh no.  You are writing this fiction here, remember? Talk or no.  You are writing it."
I had to stop.  I knew he was right.  I had come up with this very idea on the drive back from Paradise before things got tumbled over.  I was thinking about exactly this and had also planned on spending my time left putting those main characters into more action, writing more words.  It didn't work out that way but then yesterday I finally remembered about this idea and knew it was time to sit down and put it to paper.
"Okay, Josh," I smirked.  "You're right," I said.  "I'm glad you showed up when you did since I wasn't going to visit the ROW office."
"Since you didn't want to talk about it."
"Right," I said.
He grinned at me and then gave a mock bow.  "Anyway I can help, Theresa."
I shook my head at him and turned to leave.  I didn't look back as I took my wine and made my way toward the front of the store.  As I waited in the checkout line his words went through my head and I thought.
"Yes.  Talk or no.  I am writing it."
TT

Too far ahead

It's straight up 6:00am on a Monday morning.  I'm dressed and ready to head out to work.  I'll probably have lot's to do, lot's to catch up on.  The weather is mild and it seems there is a prediction for it to get even cooler.  I want to say it will be some perfect after work running time out-of-doors again.  I have some things that still need to be taken care of around the house and I have to get some things done before Selma's baby shower on Saturday. 
Monday morning.  A week ahead of me, but it gets too hard to think that far ahead.  I can't plan the next run or when I will get those minor things done around the house.  I'm have to go with right now and what I can get done at the present. 
I think I will go in to the office even earlier than usual to get started.  It might allow me to break out of there those few minutes sooner this afternoon.  To sort through a few more things that probably should get done.  I'd mention what they all are but then I would have to think about them and I can't seem to think that far ahead.
TT

Not going

I was wondering this morning about how things have been going this entire week.  It started with heavy rains that we needed so badly but could have put a damper on our short trip to the coast if I had let it or if it had really continued.  The rain didn't continue so we got the full benefits of rain we truly needed without it interfering with our short vacation plans.  The coastal weather turned absolutely perfect and we were able to have one of our best times.
What has me wondering, and I admit it's just one of those silly things that will appear in my head, about this new motel we stayed at that we hadn't stayed at before.  It was across the street from the water but the rooms didn't face it like our other location.   The room we stayed in had this view directly outside our room.    
It wasn't a great view but nice enough to have the open space instead of other rooms crowding around us. 

The water was just a ways ahead with only a head turn to the left.  Not bad.  Not too far away.  Then the view to our right was a narrow back road (the one I took into the residential area for my run).

You can't really tell from the picture (or maybe you can) that the area with the two palm trees and the chain link fence is actually a small cemetery.  It was right there a few steps away from our room.  I wanted to go see it.  I remember trying to convince Jay, right then, to walk over and for us to take a look.  He refused.  He said no.  I persisted, "It's right there, why not?"  He wouldn't budge.  No.  I even asked later in the afternoon, when we were just sitting.  There was no way I could have convinced him at that point.  The sun was already fading into dusk and, I guess, the shadows were getting a little too long for him to feel comfortable venturing into a cemetery no matter how small when he wouldn't attempt to go or allow me to go when it had been bright.
So I've been sitting here this morning thinking about him not letting me go into the cemetery.  How it was so close we could have entered with no restriction or obstacles.  I was open to it and even thought it would be interesting but he said no and we didn't explore. 
It means nothing. It was coincidence that we would be so close and still stay outside the fence of the cemetery. How many other people might want to wander inside a small cemetary?   It was just my curiosity that I would want to venture inside.  We certainly had the time and I didn't see a problem with it but he sensibly held me back.  He refused.  He said no.  

I admit it's just one of those silly things that will appear in my head, but who was sensibly holding us back when we rolled our car on Tuesday morning?

TT 

What first

Did I say at about this time last week that I was taking a week vacation and had nothing planned?  I am trying to decide if it was a good idea to not have anything planned or to have taken the week off in the first place.  But that sounds off, wrong, cynical and maybe a little overdone.  I keep thinking when I show up at work next week they will ask me how my vacation went.  They will look at me with expectation to tell them the splendid details of how it was relaxing and great and how I got so many things done that I had put off and still had time to relax, just wonderful!  It started off that way.  I've been thinking in all honesty I will have to say to those asking... well, it started out fabulous, turned absolutely horrible, got tense, hectic, exhausting and then it tried to even out but I ran out of time.
Truthfully, it hasn't evened out yet.  I still have major sorts of things to do although we have made some strides in putting things back in order again.
Jay has no car but since I have been off I have given him rides to and from work since he refused to miss.  The insurance company did total his car completely so that is not a question.  Yesterday morning I was feeling a little better when I woke since I was finally able to get some sleep.  I went for a run, showered, took him to work, and did some grocery shopping.  I had enough time to put everything away and then head out to get my hair trimmed.  I thought it would be a feel-good thing to do and since my hairdresser had finally returned my call (the very morning of the accident)! I thought the noon appointment was a good idea.  That was when I got a call from Jay saying he needed me to get some account information on his car to give to the insurance company and to stop by the bank and to come to the shop to sign and overnight some paperwork.  He agreed I should go ahead with my hair appointment and regroup afterward.  I was glad I did and all those things were done and more.  I didn't get to the shopping for Selma's baby shower that I had originally planned.  And I just remembered the eye doctor never called me back.
I still have things to do today but Jay has decided on what new car he wants.  Hopefully, it can get settled in the next day or so.  I'll be on the phone with the bank that is promising me that 1.9% financing.  I'd rather go in with a great option then take a chance on whatever the car dealership might offer.  Choices are always better when options are presented.
So, no.  Things have not evened out yet and I feel as if I am running out of time.  The good part is I have a bit more and I am feeling more rested compared to two days ago.  There really are positives everywhere.  Things could have worked out so much worse.  I think I can pace myself to get to that place where it will finally even out.  Of course, I can!  I just have to figure out what to tackle first.
TT

Car wreck

I guess I am ready now to get this out so I can move beyond and away from it.
Yesterday had to be the earliest we have ever left to return home from my personal paradise to date.  We didn't consider it a bad thing.  We knew we would be leaving and by setting out early we would have more time in the afternoon at home to relax and unwind.  To unlax as we like to call it.  Moods were still as light and buoyant as they had been the day before.  The sky was perfectly clear, the tank on Jay's SUV was full, and we were well into the halfway mark to getting home.  It wouldn't be more than another hour and a half to reach it and the first half of the trip back had already gone so well.  We had Jay's iPod connected to his car stereo and we couldn't have asked for a better selection of songs it shuffled through.  We talked parts of the way along and were comfortably silent at others.  I was drifting off with my own thoughts to a piece of fiction.  I was thinking how better to arrange a scene in my head, contemplating one character saying this and then substituting that idea for another.  The music was playing, the sky was bright, and I was shifting characters here and there in my mind.  I didn't expect what I saw next.
I was in the front passenger seat and Jay was driving.  We were in the right lane of the interstate heading north.  All of a sudden another car was unexpectedly pushing into our lane at a high speed from the left.  I saw and felt the impact of this other car smashing into the hood of our front drivers side as we both kept moving.  Things were changing.  We were hit and in an accident.  The other car was smashing us off the interstate and was flashing ahead of us to the right.  I didn't know if any other cars were involved behind us.  I saw Jay steering hard to keep control of our car.  I could see him straining to hold it steady as we left the interstate and were now in the grassy area.  It must have been when the other car finally flew past in front of us that the back of our car fish-tailed and spun around 180 degrees in the other direction, but we were still moving.  That was when I felt the car tilt downward.  That was when I saw the car start to go over toward the ground on the drivers side.  I couldn't stop it.  I couldn't do anything except think, No!  Jay would be crushed, NO!  But there was nothing I could do.  And then we hit and rolled over, and we were upside down and kept moving until the car finally landed upright with a jarring stop.  I looked over at Jay and frantically asked, "Are you alright!?!!"  He was staring at me asking the same question.  I think we both paused a moment and did a mental inventory check on ourselves.  Yes.  "Yes".  We didn't believe for that one moment we were both fine but we were.  I only had a smudge of blood on my palm from pressing down on broken glass.  The action stopped for that one moment then quickly started up again. I realized the glass was everywhere.  I turned in my seat and Jay wasn't in the car anymore.  I hit the OnStar button and the operator came on the line.  "We've been in an accident.  No, we are not hurt, but I don't know about the other driver.  Do you know where we are?"  The response was yes, they were sending help and would stay on the line.  The operator wanted me to let him know when they arrived.  It seemed as quickly as I turned my head I saw two uniformed men passing me in the now still SUV and I saw the letters POLICE on their backs.  I told the operator the Police had arrived and hung up.  And now it seemed people were everywhere.  Our SUV had stopped in the grassy area between the interstate and the frontage road.  The other car was in another grassy area past the frontage road.  I couldn't see it clearly when I realized my glasses were gone.  I only had one shoe.  My purse was in the front with me, but all the contents were scattered in the back. The container of half and half was on the front floor by my empty purse.  I looked at it puzzled thinking what was it doing there?  It should be in the ice chest in the back hatch space.  Some of the people were looking for my glasses.  How did they know to look?  People that had seen the accident had stopped and were saying how the other car must have been doing 100 and weaving.  They knew something would happen.  She had two dogs in the car.  I saw animal control take them away.  I never saw her - the other driver.  There were too many people around, too much confusion.  Then I was outside the car, looking around.  Our items were strewn all over the grassy area.  I could see tire tracks of both cars coming off the interstate.  The rain from the previous two days had made the ground soft and it was as if someone had drawn our courses on the ground.  I could see the pair of tracks from both cars coming off the road and into the grassy area, both veering right but one moving along and away leading up to where the other car had stopped.  I saw our tracks coming down, sliding around, then a large rectangular patch of mud surrounded by grass where we must have impacted, overturned, rolled, uprighted, then more sliding tracks even more than a few feet away where our car stood broken.  Doors now all flung open, grass attached to roof areas and people churning everywhere.  The police took our licenses, the paramedics took our blood pressures, the tow truck driver gave me his card, we were offered a ride to the small town police station.  Jay was already back on the line with OnStar.  They had conferenced him in to two different car rentals and one finally agreed to drive the 65 miles to pick us up.  After the State Trooper took our information. we could only take our luggage to fit and stow into the local police car.  Everything else was left. 
The accident must have happened at approximately 10:45 am.  We sat in the lobby of the tiny police station until after three in the afternoon when the car rental company finally picked us up.  They drove us the 65 miles closer to home where we rented a car to get us the remaining 35 miles.  The only car available was another SUV.  I didn't want to get back into the front passenger seat, but I did. 
We made it home by 5:15. We wasted no time as I got into my own tiny car, followed Jay to the local car rental office and turned the rented car back in.
We were now home but only one car sat in the driveway.  Neither one of us was hurt when we could have been badly.  Even early today, the day after, I was still shaken but it's time to put it aside and behind.  I didn't notice the large bruise I had on the outer, upper portion of my right arm.  I don't remember how that happened but I kidded with Jay by saying that maybe I had been hit with the half and half that had made it's way to the front floor of the car.  He laughed back at me.  "Yeah, (har-har) you were creamed."
TT   

Best day

I've lost a day but we are both safe.  You would have thought the danger would have been from traveling through the drowning storm and not the clear skies on the way back but that wasn't how it worked out.  But I am getting ahead of myself.  I can't help but first go back to the wonderful day in my personal paradise before mentioning what happened afterward...the next day, yesterday, on our way back home.  And yes, we are both safe.
I got up early to a clear blue sky with only a thread of fluffy white cloud streaking through it.  The storms had completely cleared and not a drop was falling.  I knew Jay would be sleeping in so I grabbed up my running shoes and headed out the motel door.  We didn't stay in our usual spot.  Jay found a place slightly less expensive with a small kitchenette and a new pier.  It was closer to a busier part of this small fishing village so I knew I would have to take some back roads to avoid heavier traffic.
I headed out into a small residential area behind the spot we were staying.  It was perfect.  Quiet, cool and I had nothing but time.  I rounded a turn and ended up on a main street but with a wide sidewalk and no one on it but me.  I followed it as far as it would go and it ended up taking me right up by the water.  I kept going and ran past the main harbor and bait stands and all the way down through main street past the shops and souvenir stores.  When I ran out of sidewalk I turned back and followed that same sidewalk back the way I had come, finally circling back through the residential area and to our motel room.  It was just over seven miles.  A great run on a great morning in Paradise. 
By the time I showered Jay was up and ready for breakfast.  We went out to the local diner and waited for eggs and toast while they refilled our coffee.  We talked about our plans and no plans and after breakfast we decided to act like tourists and browse the local shops.  We stopped at one that had converted every inch of an old house into a place for hand-crafted merchandise.  It took a while just to make it through each room that was packed with items.  Jay called me over after I had strayed into the last room and I saw he had picked up a small mosaic plate that he had waiting for me at the counter.  He said it would look good in my office upstairs, to catch clips or what-nots.  He bought it for me and as we left I saw the name of the store printed on the brown bag.  It was Paradise House.  How appropriate.  We then drove down to the harbor and walked a bit.  We took a few pictures and enjoyed the day.  We finally made it back to the room and Jay headed out to the pier to fish.  I stayed outdoors and read a while.  He called me an hour later to bring him something to the pier so I did and ended up staying out there.  I stretch across a bench and soaked up sun and laughed a bit or a lot.  So did Jay.
When the late afternoon was winding down and the bait was almost gone we went back to the room and decided to go out for a drink.  We dressed and left and made it back making for an early night.  It was totally relaxed, totally good, nothing could have made it better.

Maybe it was the early turn-in that had me up the next morning or maybe I am just always up that early but I knew we had already decided not to stay another day and I was ready to go home.  Somehow, Jay agreed and we packed ourselves up and left the earliest we have ever left before.  The weather was clear and beautiful.  The lingering bliss from the day before was still permeating our moods and we gassed up Jay's SUV and headed back home.  That was yesterday.  It took the entire day but both of us are safe.
TT

 

Up ahead

It was coming down hard.  It wasn't just murky, darkly gray, constant patterings but full blown, pounding rain.  The windshield wipers were slapping as hard and fast as they could go and still couldn't keep the view of the road any clearer than a constant blur.  The trip would take longer than usual.  The weather wasn't going to give an inch.  The rain came down furiously.  It hit the outside glass as we traveled forward only making it pound harder until it refused to be wiped away and bubbled upward again and again instead of being cast aside. 
It wasn't letting up.  We drove the entire distance with only brief interludes of calm in the storm.  There wasn't even the slightest breaking of clouds until we were more than two thirds of the way to our destination.  That is when I began to see a change in the sky from a solid gray muck to a small amount of  texture.  Something was desperately trying to show through the concrete plaster that covered the sky.  It had been a fairly intense trip.  It was hard to see and wet. Driving rain had kept us in check and on alert.  We forged ahead and when we were finally only 15 miles away it started to break away.  The rain paused and the clouds made appearances where there had been nothing but gloomy monotones before.  The wipers were allowed to take a breather with only intermitten showers from stray clouds making them pulse ever so slightly.  We were almost there.  It was still gray and brief rains would smatter occasionally to make themselves known.  It could have been an attitude changing tug of war for the worse.  It could have drawn anyone down into its darken gloom.  But it didn't.  And none of it proved to dampen my positive thoughts about what we had and could encounter with the weather.
Paradise was just up ahead.
TT       

Wet or not

The clock read 1:26 am.  It was dark and I heard rain.  We have been needing it, I thought, and I went back to sleep.  When I woke again it was time for me to get out of bed and it was still raining.  Not hard driving rain but murky, darkly gray, constant patterings.  I couldn't help but open the doors to get a better look.  I couldn't help feeling the freshness as I saw how it was turning small areas of the yard into small pools of accumulated moisture.  The ground was too much in shock to keep up with absorbing it as it kept falling.  And it did.  It kept falling and still is. 
I will postpone or call off my run this morning.  I may be able to get one in later in the day.  I will start my packing as we plan to head out to my personal paradise for a while.  There is a good chance we will encounter more rain, more wet there.  I wouldn't trade not going for that reason, anyway.  It may dampen everthing except my wanting to be there.  Wet or not.  What would paradise be if I couldn't view the water over water?  To breathe the freshness coming off of it instead of my backyard?  And it may stay or go, giving me options to explore different ways to settle down and relax.  Because that is what this should be all about. I mean, I am on vacation, aren't I?
TT

No wasting

I've made it through my work day and now I am officially on vacation!  I had a moment right before it was time to leave when a potential amount of work could have started up.  It turned out I already had the information needed and it was only one brief rise in blood pressure moment that was defused thoroughly and quickly.  Then it was quitting time and vacation time all in one.  I made my way out and won't miss work a blink while I'm gone.
I have already taken some time to finish a book I was reading.  I will need to shop for a few more to have handy and ready when I head out to my personal paradise.  I won't be caught without a few books.  I've started a load of laundry.  I'll get ahead of things now instead of waiting until later.  I will fry up a little fish for dinner and those shoestring potatoes that get so extra crispy when I shave them on my mandoline - the stainless steel one that adjusts the slices to super thin.  I'll crack open a cold beer, maybe add some to the batter, and get this party started.  I just stopped here briefly to share the excitement.  It's vacation time and I ain't wasting a single moment.
TT  

Friday afternoon

It's Friday before vacation.  One day to get through all the loose ends at work to be on my own schedule for an entire week.  It starts this afternoon.  I've gone through the frustration of having gotten everything in order only to be given harder tasks to take care of and then gotten those out of the way in order to start smoothing things down again for today.  I think I've gotten everything patted down for now.  It should all be in relatively good shape and today, well, today should be a Friday.  Who doesn't love a Friday?  It certainly doesn't have the same feel as a Monday - no one can deny that.  So I am in pretty good shape.
Plans?  I wish I could say I've gotten them all lined up.  I don't.  But I prefer it that way, I think.  What would be the fun in taking time off if I had a list of things I had scheduled to do?  I know the things I would like to do.  They are all there floating through my head.  I would rather pick and choose as I go or even plan small chunks at a time.  It leaves me the opportunity to switch gears or change my mind or go in another direction if another idea presents itself.  But first there is Friday.  Just a little more time to be structured, to get things done, to take care of a few things and then it's all my time.  A week of vacation.  It starts this afternoon.
TT    

Plan B

I had a plan a few days ago to take one day off from my running to re-coop from a hard nine-day stretch of workouts where I ran a lot of miles. That was my plan. Somehow it has now turned into a three day rest period and I'm not sure if it will turn into more. I needed that one day off. The second day wasn't too bad either. When I had to check on a few things after work on the third day it wasn't supposed to take as long as it did and it turned into a third rest day. I'm feeling a little anxious about whether I will end up with a string of rest days instead of getting back to getting back.
I can't blame the weather. It has been almost perfection along those lines. I had ditched my gym bag and would have actually headed outdoors after work to run if I hadn't been concentrating on not doing it. Well, I really wasn't concentrating on it but I couldn't ignore those thoughts that stream through my head when it is time to make a decision about should I do this or should I do that. Obviously - that - won the decision and - this - is where I am this morning. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't think about so much. It isn't as if I won't actually get back to it. Why wouldn't I? I feel rested. The weather is perfect and I really want to do it or I wouldn't even give it a second thought (or third).
So how good is a plan if it can't be adjusted for the realities that come along? But enough adjusting. I think I'll pack my gym bag. Just in case. I can call it Plan B.
TT

A week

I asked for a weeks vacation.  An entire week - Monday through Friday - without having anything really planned on what to do during that time.  You might think that is a normal, everyday, type of thing for most people to do but I cannot remember the last time in years that I have done that.  Oh, I have taken a full week before but only when something was planned like a trip to Mexico.  Even when I have gone to New York it was over a long weekend so this time off is more unusal.
I have run into this recurring problem of having too many hours in my vacation bank where it gets to the point it will not add another second until I bring the total below the preset maximum.  I was at that point last month and took two days off and I am again there this month.  If I keep taking two days off every month I will constantly be in a state of keeping the bank just below max.  That is when I decided I would take the week off.  That will at least cover a couple of months and not just one.
I was approved to take a week off.  It is almost as if they want me to take it.  Maybe in the back of their minds they think I will finally get to the point where I will ask for the 9 or 10 weeks that I have in my bank and take it all at once.  I think if I ever did that I wouldn't ever go back to work.  I would just take the time and forget about it.  It almost feels that way when I take a week.
So, next week I won't need to go into the office.  I've already made a few plans to head out to my personal paradise on Sunday and spend a few days.  It will leave me a few more when I get back.  I'm actually looking forward to it but I don't think it has totally sunk in yet.  It will, I guess, soon enough. 
It will have to, won't it? ...it's only a few days away.
TT 

Hey Grandma

There was a day last week when I was feeling a little tired.  Jay got home after work and after glancing at me blurted out a comment.  His timing was off only because I was tired but he said, "You are looking a lot like your grandmother."
"My mom's mother?" I asked.
"Yes," he responded.
"How would you know?  You didn't meet her.  I didn't meet her.  She past away right before I was born?"
"I've seen pictures," he said.
"The only pictures we have are when she was old.  We don't have any when she was younger.  You're saying I look like an old grandmother?"
I could tell from his face that he knew this wasn't going well.  He tried to stutter and stammer his way out of it but that (of course) only made it worse.  There was no avenue of escape.  He tried to make it sound more complimentary.  He made it sound like he was only making a reference to how my Italian ancestry was showing through.  He even tried to say I looked like her when she was young which he knew he had no way of knowing.  But he tried...and I happened to be tired so we both knew the conversation was going nowhere.
It wasn't until later, after letting it go, that I started thinking about my grandmother.  I never knew any of my grandparents.  They were all gone by the time I came around.  It wasn't sad because I didn't know any different.  I only had old pictures of people I didn't know and only a few of those.  I got my grandmothers name, Concetta, which I love (Theresa was supposed to be a middle name).  I was told if she hadn't past away when my mother was pregnant with me she wouldn't have allowed the name.  She was hoping for a girl after my mom had my three older brothers.  At least that was what I was told.  I never got to meet her.
She must have been a little stubborn if she wasn't going to allow the name.  She must have been strong to have had eight children.  I don't know much about her.  I can only imagine the amount of work she must have done every day.  They had a general store and a dairy farm and settled in the south after coming from Italy.  She must have had so many things to do.  I don't know if she liked to read.  I wonder.  I only have a few pictures and not too much information about her. 
The thing is I will be a grandmother soon.  If I am looking like my grandmother it's probably because that is where I am right now.  But I don't think I fit exactly into that grandmother mold.  I didn't think I was looking quite like a grandmother when Jay pointed it out.  I don't have doubts about my age, certainly not, but that imagine of what a grandmother is supposed to look like, to act like?  I drive a two-seater convertible.  I spend lots of time alone.  I run miles with no one chasing me and I always have a book I'm reading. 
Maybe it feels odd because I don't know what a grandmother is really supposed to be like since I never had one.  Will I miss the mark?   
I don't really think that will be the case.  I don't think I have to fit the classic type of what a grandmother is supposed to look like or even act like when it comes to cars and hobbies.  I don't think there will be a smidgen of a problem but it crosses my mind when it's brought up.  So maybe the grandmother Jay saw in me wasn't so much about looks or maybe it was.  I don't know and it doesn't matter.
The fact that I will be here when it happens and a little one won't be thinking many, many years later what I was like.  I might actually be able to give him some stories to tell...about his grandmother.  How she ran miles with no one chasing her and drove a tiny car, how she was always reading books.  Who knows? 
Maybe I am starting to look like my grandmother.
TT   

   

Todays plan

I am taking a rest from running today.  I realized I had hammered it hard last week when I wanted to finish off my month of September.  I managed the 100 miles for the past two months in a row and that was what I was going for.  I realized that in the process I had also ran 9 days in a row with a total of 50.74 miles in that time frame.  Whoosh!  That was half a month of mileage in 9 days.  Now in reality two of those days are already counting for October with a total of 10.61 miles to start this new month off.  That isn't so bad.  So no running today. It almosts seems a shame since the weather is only hovering between 86-88 degrees this afternoon and I could run outdoors instead of the gym.  But I've already checked and that will be about the same tomorrow and the next day.
I think my plan will be to come home after work instead of heading to the gym and actually get my miles run here in the neighborhood like I do on my weekends.  I think I can take today off with that in mind.  It might work out just fine like that.  Good plan.  I'm going with it.
TT

Not my mess

I was getting blamed for making the downstairs work area a mess.  I was told I had cluttered up the spot and it was not easy to work there anymore.  Granted, I had been using that area, but most of the things that had accumulated were items that pertained to business.  I could have gotten defensive (maybe I did a bit) and say it wasn't all my stuff and I'd been doing a lot of work on these things lately.  I had.  But it was a mess.  So I decided to try to take care of it.

It started out looking like this...

Then ended up looking like this.
Started like this...

Then ended up like this.

It does seem to be an improvement and everyone was happy afterward.  The everyone was so happy he went back to watching football and I went to read a book.

I probably should do something about the clutter under the TV.  I don't think he has noticed that yet.
TT

1 workout

I am getting ready to go out for a run.  It's the first of October and the weather is in my favor.  It is a nice quiet Saturday morning, still slightly dark with a clear temperature of about 67 degrees.  It's a new month and I am looking toward the future but had to go back to see where I was by checking my past.
I use a sensor to clock my miles.  I've had it since March 11 of 2010 so I have a few statistics.  I used those this morning to see where I'm at or where I've come from.  I knew this year has been bumpy as far as my running goes but this spells it out in plain, hard facts.
 
Sept 2011  - 102.30 miles - 18 workouts - 16:42:15 hours
Aug  2011 - 100.7 miles -   24 workouts  - 17:15:41 hours
July 2011  -  40.48 miles -  10 workouts - 6:58:01 hours
June 2011  - 41.03 miles -  11 workouts - 6:53:43 hours
May 2011  -  48.42 miles - 12 workouts - 9:06:27 hours
April 2011 - 19.51 miles -   5 workouts - 3:25:45 hours
Mar 2011   - 51.23 miles -  13 workouts - 9:34:51 hours
Feb 2011   - 43.32 miles -  11 workouts - 7:13:02 hours
Jan 2011   -  60.84 miles -  14 workouts - 9:23:29 hours
Total so far for 2011:
507.87 miles - 118 workouts - 86:33:14 hours

Total for 2010 - starting 3/11/10:
648.96 miles - 116 workouts - 110:03:53hours

Plain facts.  It would seem I am behind last year yet I cannot discount the past two months where I turned the rest of the year on it's ear.  I had consistantly higher numbers per month last year than this.  I knew that already without putting the exact numbers down.  It still doesn't discount what I have been able to do in the past few months and where it has put me right now here in the present.  So however the numbers stack up...I am still getting ready to go out to run this morning.  It's my first run for a new month, a new morning.  Oct 2011 - 1 workout...I will have to fill in the rest later.  It all starts with one workout.
TT