Whatever the reason

It certainly is a funny feeling when you know it is time to get up, shut down the laptop and go to work and I just don't want to pull myself away. I know it is time to go and yet I would so prefer to sit here and spend some time working through these ideas that I need to get organized. It's a funny state to be in when the ideas are hovering on the edges without being fully formed and I know I am going to have to quietly push the door closed for a while. I don't have time to sit and bring them out now to see how they need to be dressed up or down. No matter how much I would like to do that right now, I can't and by sitting here any longer I will just make myself late.

Needless to say, I wrote the paragraph above yesterday morning and indeed had to walk away. I guess the responsible me was stronger than the creative me. Or maybe the get yourself to work and pay the bills me was watching out for the you will starve to death if you think the ideas will pay the bills me. It might be a classic example of life colliding with fantasy. Creativity put on hold for the monetary things in life. So it will be squeezing it in, finding time, and hopefully being creative whenever I have the time without being too tired syndrome.

I have had an extra problem this week in that I have also been suffering with a terribly sore throat. I don’t know what it is since it hasn’t progressed beyond that. No chills, or fever or swine flu but just a sore throat. It has been bad enough were people I work with have come up to my desk to find out who is sitting in my place. It’s only me, but they are not recognizing my voice since it’s turned itself into a gravely bass with an occasional whispered word thrown in for good measure. I know it could be much worse but it has been like this since Sunday and I am sick of being sick. If I can even call this being sick since I have no other symptoms and it hasn’t affected anything except now I’m getting tired. But that might just be psychological. It is hard to tell.

I am not looking for sympathy even though this would be my opportunity, I guess. I know it is wearing me out and I won’t be able to sit here again and write but for another reason. The reasons seem to be stacking up and I’m tired of that too. There is nothing like wanting to get something going and having various reasons for it not to happen. Even if some of these reasons are legit, it doesn’t help me much.

Well, the time will make itself available again and I won’t have this blasted sore throat forever. I’ll open that door again soon after I’ve had a chance to rest. I should do that, right?


TT