Improved girl of 60

Here it is.

The countdown is about over and the last day of the year has rolled itself out. The morning has broken through many clouds to herald out the old and bring in the new. I guess I'm the old but the new number attached to me is new. Let's see how well I can fit into this new number.

Goals and resolutions are the topic of the day and I guess I would be lying if I said they haven't floated through my thoughts. I've been pretty sketchy the past couple of years about setting anything too firmly into my agenda. I've been the one that has been wishy-washy about speaking up, even if it was to myself, about what I wanted to work towards. I can still be pretty indecisive about a lot of things. Which way to go or think or what to do? It can seem more daunting than it is.

I guess if there was a resolution to be made on this last day of the old year and the new age coming to me is to stop and do.

Here are my points for the new improved girl of sixty.

• Try with real intent
• Make a true effort
• Stay in the now, because the past comes too soon
• Don't worry about the future, it will happen anyway

So, I don't know that I've gotten any wiser but I can still try. The getting older part gives me the opportunity.

And I wish for everyone to have a Happy New Year as we fold up the old.

TT

You are here

Another year winding down, spiraling toward the end. In only a couple of days we will have gotten through another calendar year of ups, downs, and all that goes in between. It's supposed to be the time you pull out your memory books and take a walk backwards.

I don't want to do that. I know and remember enough of what happened all year to not feel the need to take the time now to rehash it all. I'm at the spot I am at. Whatever happened to get me here is all done. I don't need to wax poetic about all the things that has already gone on throughout the entire calendar of days and weeks.

I am here. It's like the big, red, dot on a map. Get your bearings, recognize your location, and get moving. We can't predict what is up ahead any more or less than we could last week or yesterday and yet we made it here, to the very spot we are now. So take a brief look around and go.
TT

A helping of feelings

I've taken this entire week off from work. I'm not sure what I expected to do with all the time I have but after one day I wasn't expected to be so tired. I'm also working on a really bad attitude since the weather caught up with the day on the calendar. Winter has raised it's ugly head as it does this time of year, every year, as expected. I'm not sure why I am always surprised when this happens. I'm not sure why I always get indignant and act like it's such the unexpected intrusion on my life. If this was a romantic comedy I guess my line would be, "but I can't help how I feel!" 

Well, get over your dramatic self. Where is your gratitude? How many different things can you count that are just about over-the-top awesome in your life? I can't count for you but I know, and not to brag, but I have many more that I should be placing up at the top of my use of energies list. Why wouldn't I do that? 

Let's stop putting all the great energies into the things that make us feel the worst. Stop making the bad things that spring to mind the priority. There must be a trick to push those negatives aside to focus on the totally wonderfulness we have at this moment. The whiny girl in the romantic comedy needs to grow up. Yes, you can help how you feel. Now that you've acknowledged it, put those wasted energies somewhere better. Make use of them somewhere that isn't dwelling on the downside of what might be going on. Once you move on you won't be thinking about it so much.

Then, I bet, you'll feel at lot warmer and a little bit less tired.

TT

Make lemonade

This morning the weather has turned. It's a little bleak, a little cold, and a little wet. There isn't anything to the extreme about it except it is a sharp contrast to the day it was yesterday. Don't let it hold you back. Don't waste the time comparing what was, to what is now. Stay in the right here and figure out the best possible way to go forward. Don't put it off.

It's the only time you'll have this moment.
TT

That then this

The day after Christmas and all through the house. It was quiet again the way it was before but not in between. Family, food, and festivities were in no short order in that time when the house was full and so were our stomachs.

Christmas meals have come and gone and this one was one for the history books. Our history books, maybe, but the books just the same. Artichoke dip with homemade chips was beyond the beyond and you can't eat just one. Nothing could have surpassed the crab cakes. Nothing at all in any time or space. It was like being in crab cake heaven it was so very good. Can you imagine a place of heavenly crab cakes? This was it. The main dish left no one unsatisfied. The spinach/arugula salad with goat cheese, bacon, and walnuts. Add the lemon vinaigrette and call it a day except, wait, there is more. Roasted new potatoes, prime rib, and gravy was perfection. And how about the crab stuffed shrimp? Why do you even ask when it was so good. All together on one plate was the best meal we could have had on such a day. We didn't end it there but took it to the next level with the chocolate swirl cheesecake with fresh raspberry red wine reduction sauce. What a way to end a meal, a day, a celebration.
       

So what do you do the day after the best day? You take that quiet day and spend a portion in another quiet area. You go to enjoy the outside, the breeze, and stretch the legs on a hike.
What could be better than that and then this?
TT

Tamales for Eve

It's Christmas morning but all quiet in the house. For now. It will be filled soon and I couldn't ask for more.

Christmas Eve went off beautifully. Tamales were on the menu because, well, you do those things. It wasn't a huge amount and it didn't take long. Most of the prep was done beforehand so it was a matter of spreading, stuffing, and steaming. It wasn't a lot of work but it was tradition.
Now onward to the main feast. The menu day should include:

Spinach/Arugula Salad with Goat Cheese and Walnuts

Lemon Vinaigrette

Artichoke Dip with Chips

Crab Cakes

Mini-Tarts with Brie and Bacon

Prime Rib Roast

Crab Stuffed Shrimp

Roasted New Potatoes and Carrots

Chocolate Swirled Cheesecake with

Fresh Raspberry Reduced Wine Sauce

I'm taking a short break now but will be getting to work in a moment. 

TT

'Tis the season

Christmas Eve - December 24th, 2015.

Here it is. This is when it all starts to come together. I work a half day today and when I leave here I will make one last stop to the grocery store. I have a list of all the things that need to be picked up to complete and round out our menu from Christmas dinner. That will be it.

This afternoon, depending on the time I have prior to attending the children's mass at 5:00pm, I might bake the cheesecake. If I don't do that today, it will be baked first thing tomorrow morning. Tonight after mass I will tackle homemade tamales. The pork roast is cooked and the chile sauce is ready. It will be a simple task of putting the masa and filling together and steaming them to perfection. I'm only making 5 lbs of masa so it won't be a long, drawn out process. We don't need mountains of tamales, just enough - like 5 lbs worth.

It's Christmas Eve. Let's track Santa. Let's get together and fill each other with the joy and happiness of the season. It's here.
TT

Naked no more

There have been a few things that have been lingering for a while without being completed. One of those things was getting the tree decorated. It might be considered one of the top things that usually is first to get done, yet this year it's been one of the last. The poor tree has been sitting there stark naked for over a week. If it didn't already come with sparking white lights it would be a total green branch. Not so anymore. I managed to get the tree decorated and all the gifts wrapped. It looks more like a holiday. It feels more like a holiday. Who can deny a little thing like this tradition would make a difference and make the biggest impact. It really is the small things at times.


TT

And Batman cake

I didn't get a chance to say what a great success Mr. L's fourth birthday turned out to be. We thought we might struggle over a batman cake but with a little thought and some food coloring it worked out. It wasn't too hard to turn the simply delicious chocolate cake into a the icon it represented. Look here and see for yourself.
  You take a little blue, yellow, black and mix it into white frosting and voila! Batman. Selma did the entire cake. I watched. And the day of the party is was a really moist and delicious cake. The birthday boy was very excited.

I have to also mention that Selma can also make some mean-good pizza dough. Since Mr. L requested pizza for his birthday dinner, it was pizza and Selma seems to have a great knack for baking. Man, of man, her crust held up better than some I've eaten anywhere else. Better. Yes. And all that homemade goodness made a great party.
Happy Birthday, Mister four year old.
TT

Coming soon

Who do I think I'm fooling with this shut down, be quiet nonsense? Who has time for that. I certainly don't seem to be doing well in the sit still category. It's time to get up, put up, get it done, now! This is the final week. It's the final countdown to all the explosive time when it is all said and done. Then everyone will be smiling, and relaxing, and very happy. It will be seamless and no one will know there is a lick of planning or thinking or moving to get it all in place at the right time.

It might not sound that great with all the work, but that's the way I like it. I don't mind the planning, the getting it done and all that comes with it if the end result is that relaxed feeling of comfort. It's all worth it in the end. And I have to admit, I like all the preparations to get there.

A few more things to straighten out and plan but it's all coming soon.
TT

Do nothing

I am taking a space of time to be quiet. Don't move. Don't get up. Stop thinking you can be doing this thing or that thing. The thing that needs to be done right now is nothing.

It's hard to think there should be time for quiet. I like to move, to get things done, to not leave things unfinished. It's all about getting it done and done well. That can lead to some hectic times and this has been one (more more than one). It's been going on a while.

So right now it's time to shut down and be still. Quietly.
TT

Tree and cake

Another day and I'm off and running before the energy levels start to dip in the nether regions. I need to get as organized and get as many things off my list so I stop the crazy thinking of, "I didn't get that done yet." Most of the things that need to get done are being done. Most are pretty timely.

Okay - I have the tree up and it was by my deadline of 12/14. The only problem is that there isn't a single decoration adorning it. I've wrapped gifts and placed them strategically along side the tree but the tree itself isn't complete. If it didn't already come with lights it would just be greenery. But it's still a tree and I will get myself up the attic and have a fully decorated tree by nightfall. I will have gifts spread wonderfully underneath making a holiday presentation any child would love.

I need to turn my attention to menu. I don't seem to be getting any help with appetizer ideas but that may change if I can sway the conversation appropriately. I might have the opportunity at Mr. L's birthday party tomorrow. He wants a Batman cake (?) and pizza so Sonny will be making some dough and spreading it out. I'm not sure what I need to do to help but I will if they need me.

Now, it's time to make another list to prioritize what I can do now. I'll take it from here.
TT

Friday in a flash

5:33 pm Friday

What happened to the day! I started out early. I had a good plan. I was so far ahead by 11:30 a.m. I was cruising right along with bags full of gifts and had almost everybody crossed off my list. I had a half day left.

I stopped again before going home. I thought I might complete the few items I still needed. I shopped and looked at this thing and that. I picked up this, put it down, picked up that. I carried a few around and circled back. I put that back. I looked at this other thing and then that other thing. Yes, No, Maybe, and soon I decided on a short few and by the time I checked my watch it was past 1:30. I was irritably hungry and yet I didn't stop but went straight home knowing there wasn't anything to eat.

I made popcorn and watched my DVRs recording of Top Chef. I got really tired and tried to relax. Then it was 4:00 and I thought if I wrapped the gifts I would have that out of the way. Then it was 5:15 by the time I was finished. I'm exhausted. And I'm thinking I have a Christmas dinner menu but I haven't shopped for any of that yet. I'm going to need a prime rib and some excellent shrimp to stuff with crabmeat. I can't think about that right now. I still have time and I'll get it all done. All of it. I was thinking I needed to bake more cookies.Sunday is Mr. L's birthday.What's for dessert on Christmas? I don't think that was decided yet.

I need a drink.
TT

FRIDAY! sort of

Today is my FRIDAY! I know it's really Thursday but as a work day it's Friday. I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow. It's a good thing! It's fab and it has me revved. I should be drag, dragging, dragged but instead I'm getting an extra ounce of bundled energy ready to be released over a three day weekend.

Okay, calm down. Let's not spend this entire energy wad on the first few minutes of Thursday (which is my FRIDAY). So, after work, let there be calm for more than 2 minutes at a time. Let's get out the priority lists. I will organize my scattered thoughts and figure out what and what will not be done. I will tackle the must do's first and have a game plan to accomplish the rest.

I'm so smart for taking this day off tomorrow because that makes today my FRIDAY!
TT

Speedy recap

Sunday came and went. Monday was Sonny's birthday and I went to work. We decided to get together and go out to dinner as a family but first everyone came over to my house to open his birthday presents.

We did that and then had dinner. It was a really, really nice time. I got a phone call that night and it was an order for 20 dozen cookies. Yes, I could have them ready for pick up at the magic store on Thursday. My mind was already search my database (I was thinking really hard) because I knew I didn't have enough of the right size tins. I could substitute the pail that holds 4 dozen (he wanted 5 pails of 4 doz cookies each) for two 2 dozen round tins. I had those. Early the next morning I went online and ordered more of my tin sizes since I would be all out of tins with this order.

Tuesday was the Tech Expo at work and it was filled with all kinds of activities. It was an on-the-go all day type of day. Then it was over and I went home and started baking. And baking. And then I went to the store to get the few ingredients I needed for two types of cookies and then went home and baked some more. All cooled, all stored away, and done for the day.

I expected to wake up dragged out tired but Wednesday dawned and I felt good. Maybe some of the pressure was off since I had finished baking and only needed to pack them up after work. So, I worked all day and then came home to find my order of cookie tins had already arrived at my doorstep! It as awesome because now I had enough of the correct size tins and didn't have to make the smaller ones work. I got them all packed up with cookies, labeled, and ready to take to the shop for the customer to pick up tomorrow.

If this seemed to be a quick recap it was. I had to catch up from Sunday to now, Wednesday night. I didn't mean to discount anything as less important but at the speed I need to keep going lately, it's the best I can do. The kiddos are scheduled to arrive in 30 minutes for a while and I should do some clean up or heck, just read for 30 minutes. I work tomorrow but had the foresight to take Friday off. Yea, me!

You would think I drank another barrel of coffee but I didn't. At least not since early this morning. This is just my set speed right now. Quick or you'll miss me.
TT

Focus on today

I'm don't have time to figure out why but I slogged through yesterday. Tired was the name of the game. I couldn't muster up the energy to get anything done. It wasn't happening and I couldn't force it.

I tried early in the morning. I got up, went to two stores and picked up a gift and then some groceries. I had hopes of more baking, decorating, and cleaning. By the time I got back home I was out of it. I figured I would take a break and get back to it. I would get myself organized and start again. That break turned long and longer and a load of laundry was done and it was 6:00 pm before I put up the tree and that was it.

I really need to focus in on today. I need to make some type of priority list and start crossing things off as done. Okay, so I needed some down time but that was yesterday and it's time to rev-up again. There is no use trying to make up time from yesterday. I have today to think about.
TT

Uphill

I have my work cut out for me. I don't think that is a truly accurate statement because I will need to cut out the work that needs to be done along with doing it. I think it might be an uphill battle for a while but what good are battles if there isn't a little effort put into them.

It's that time of year when everything gets crammed into a small amount of time. I know I am talking about work and battles but when it comes down to it, I enjoy all this stuff. It isn't really a battle and it really isn't uphill. Even if it is all those things are true and it is uphill work, I don't mind pushing up that hill to get to the top. It's a really nice time of year.

I will be pushing and working and driving uphill this weekend. I have things to do and lists to make. I have baking and decorating and cleaning up to sit and enjoy the view from the top. I have a couple of hills to tackle but in the end there isn't a better place I would rather be.
TT

What's the plan

My weekend of baking flew by. I am now well past the weekend and midweek with the pace not showing any indication it will slow down. I will need to stop and get adjusted and sorted out soon. There are quite a few things that need to be taken care of and I need to get my priorities in order. Not only are the holidays approaching but I've got two other birthdays to consider. It's time to stop rushing around getting things done to make sure I am doing the things that need to get done first.

I always put up the tree and decorate before my oldest son, Sonny's birthday. His birthday is next Monday so this weekend the tree will be first priority. I could get a head start by starting on that sooner after work but I know how that goes. I might have good intentions and I think it will work out early in the day but when the time comes, it doesn't happen that way.

Some shopping is in order. I have a list of good girls and boys that need some serious attention. It's a shame I have a list of their names and not something beside them. It would help to know where and what I am shopping for and have a game plan. I'll need to work that out.

Now, other duties are pulling me away but this 'plan' to get organized is still with me. I'll take care of a few things as my day goes on but some real time management is in order. Soon, soon. But now I have some things that need to be taken care of before I do that.
TT

Sliver moon

I noticed a beautiful sliver moon yesterday morning as I was leaving for work and it was there again this morning. It was a pitch dark sky with the faded circle outline of the moon. There was a distinct contrast with the bottom wedge  beaming bright. All that shining light from a narrow sliver of light is something to see with all the darkness around it.

I don't care about the science of why I see it that way, but only marvel at the treasure I glimpse at that moment.
TT

Baking

I have three machines working right now. If I took my time yesterday to try and figure out what I was going to do, I've got a complete head-start on today's activities. It's a complete 180 turnaround from yesterday. I have a load of laundry, a load of dishes, and the bread machine all churning away. The coffee maker has already done it's duty and I will have some biscotti baked up in short order real soon.

I started yesterday very slowly. I finally got up and went to the grocery store. It was a unexpected surprise to see they had a three piece group playing jazzy holiday tunes. Yes, in the entrance by the produce there was music. Look, I'm not kidding...

Well, that was certainly different. I'm glad I showed up when I did. 

Then it was home again and I decided to take care of some sugar cookie dough I had in the refrigerator. It was time to roll in out and put in on cookie sheets.

 I was able to get help decorating the cookies. Mr. L decided he was willing and able to sprinkle some colored sugars and discs on the cookies. He is a regular baker in-training and did an outstanding job of helping. He went out back and played with the dog while the cookies were baking but he washed his hands and came back to move them from the cooling racks to the plate. He later moved them to a large zip-lock bag to take home. He protested the small quart size bag I tired to give him claiming it was too small! I gave him a gallon size instead and he seemed pleased. 

I later baked some chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies to go with the sugar cookies. I will make some oatmeal in a bit but I am missing an ingredient so it may be chocolate hazelnut biscotti to make this morning. 

It sure smells good in here. 

TT

Wandering

I have no idea what I'm doing today. I've been up for over an hour and a half and you would think by now I would have worked out what needs to get done. I guess it's nice to have the time and opportunity to take that big amount to come up with a schedule. And if I don't come up with one, than that works out, too.

I'm just giving myself some time to get over the morning chill. Right. That's the ticket. I will mull over my options, take my time, and wander into my day. Splendid. I'm so glad I cleared that up.
TT

No mistake

Nothing can straighten out your confusion about what day it is faster than a Friday. It's the end of the work-week, time for the weekend and yeah! Who get's confused about that? Not me, oh no. I know exactly when it's a Friday and the fact that I will get my work done and head home, head to the store, head to a good book, head to...whatever, whenever, wherever.  There is no, however, I need to go to work so I need to get that done first. Nope. It's very easy to figure out when a Friday rolls around.

A Friday just rolled up to this prime location.
TT

Pause and focus

Again I'm having some confusion with days, which is which, and is it Wednesday or Thursday. You would think this reoccurring disorientation of time would abate after numerous reiterations. It hasn't, and I still sometimes have to pause and conscientiously remind myself of the accurate day of the week. I do that and it sets me straight but sometimes I am hit with the same confused state again when I need to pause and put myself back on track.

I guess this is just an example of anything we want to stay focused on. Some habits we want to break or create fall into this type of category of having to remind ourselves. We need to catch ourselves when we are confused or do the same things we want to change. We need to stop and think. Pause and refocus. Remind ourselves on what is real and what we really want.

Then try, for once, to remember what day it is.
TT

Fresh cookies

I got an unexpected phone call yesterday afternoon for a cookie order. It seems every time I am about to pull the site and stop the business, I get an order. Every time this happens it takes my thoughts away from stopping the business and reminds me of how easy it is to keep going. Since I have no sales expectations, every time I get an order I am breaking my own records for sales. If you have a zero expectation and something comes in, it's a win, right?

It has to be the easiest business to keep in operation. I have a website that costs me close to nothing each month. If I get an order I bake cookies and get paid for them. I keep the money in a separate bank account and it sits there once I'm paid. The close to nothing cost of the website comes directly out of that account.

It helps that I did my homework when I first started. It didn't start out as homework but merely baking cookies. I wanted to come up with different combinations so I baked this into a cookie dough and that into cookie dough and took them to work for others to taste. I changed a few and baked a few differently but came up with some cookies that weren't bad. That was my initial expectation. I just wanted to stretch my creativity with baking some cookies.

My youngest son, Dante, thought I should sell them. We got together and did some research on how much cookies cost at other on-line cookie sites. We figured our cost for the ingredients and packaging, and knew where our pricing should be to make a profit. We took pictures and set it all up. He went to work and got orders that first time around. Then I got other orders and then big orders from companies wanting 60 and then 90 dozen cookies. I got small orders and medium orders. I let it all happen. Yesterdays order was for 4 dozen and I would need to look back to my sales for this past year since I know I got more than a few orders.

Don't think the business blew up and was this busy cookie machine. It never was. Orders are sporadic, but then I don't do a thing until I get an order and then I make a profit and the money goes into that account. If I would spent a smidgen more time on working on it I might actually make a lot more sales. I haven't. I don't even think about it until days like yesterday when I get an unexpected call for a cookie order. Then I think about working on it. Then time goes by and I start thinking I should close it down. I haven't. There really isn't any reason to close it. It practically works itself.

Fresh cookies are baked and that is what it has always been about.
TT

Choose one

It's the first day of a new month which is the last of the year. It should be a good time to clear the slate, clear the mind, set up some goals, and close out the year with an abundance of well-being. I have high hopes for the coming days and weeks. I am looking forward to all the many events, large and small, that can encompass our lives. It's all about the moments. Remembering that it's all the small things that makes it good should be constantly in the forefront of my thoughts to achieving the enjoyment we can get from everything we do.

It can be a rat race. It can be stressful. It can be hard and tiring. It can be all those things and I won't diminish the idea that sometimes that is exactly the way it is. But it's the time we have. Right now. It can be the way we choose if we are conscience of how we are viewing those moments. It can be fun. It can be joyful. It can be calmed down to a moment, right now, that we acknowledge there are reasons to be happy even when we are tired or even when we are stressed. We can just as easily remember why we are happy because if you let yourself, you are. It can be done just as easily as allowing yourself the option. Why not choose the one you would rather be and let the other go.

It's a new day, a new month before the end of another year. Choose.
TT

Eyes open

I am taking another day off. It was part of the plan. I've been giving myself these long weekends by taking a Friday and Monday off. It didn't hurt that the holiday was in there too and it made it extra-long. I'm glad I did it this time.

The only thing I need to do today is see the eye doctor. It's an annual checkup and I figured I'd better go and get more items for me to be able to see. I haven't decided whether or not I want to pay the extra for new eyeglass frames or just use the old ones. I wear contacts at work and glasses at home. I don't know. I guess I'll see how I feel once I get to the eye doctors office. I think it's just a bit of me being stingy about spending the money.

I think I might stop at the bookstore after my appointment. I'll be right there in the same complex. I always have such good thoughts and memories of browsing in a bookstore. It was such the routine in my past and I haven't lost that feeling. There is something about all those books with my eyes scanning the titles in this section and then that section. Something will trigger an idea and I will walk over to another section and take a look. Pull this book out and flip it to the back, put it back and pull out its neighbor. Finding myself sitting on the floor to reach the books on the lowest shelf to scan the interesting ones. There is no time in a bookstore. It disappears and from the time I walk in until I walk out I am not aware of its passing. I think that is a good measure of enjoyment. If you don't realize how long you've been wandering the aisles of a store it can only be a good thing. Even if I download 99.9% of all my books I can still enjoy that experience of being surrounded by all those books.

Maybe I should go ahead and invest in those glasses.
TT

Chilled to distraction

It's been officially cold the past two days by my standards. I won't dwell on the weather because I will and can stay inside and be perfectly happy. I have other chores to keep my time occupied. One of the first things I need to do is clean up my work room right here upstairs. I've managed to make a pretty little mess in a few places with materials and paper that needs to stop being a lump here and there. It all needs to be sorted, folded, and put in it's appropriate place whether that is thrown out or neatly saved.

I've been meaning to do it for a few days. Every time I step into the room it's my utmost thought. I need to clean this up. Then I promptly sit at the laptop, ignore the mess around me, than proceed out of the room and do something else. I'm sure the other things are less important, like washing clothes or making dinner. But today is the day I will tackle this room.

The organization will inspire me and allow me to think freely without the distraction of the menial things that need to be done. It will stop me from making ridiculous priority lists that never have any real meaning. It will help with some clear thinking on all the important things going on. No. I'll have a clean room. Bottom line, to me, that is important period.

And it will distract me from the weather by keeping busy.
TT

Pretty sad, Not bad

I just finished reading a book. It was awful. It was long and rambling and shallow. The characters had no logical motivation for anything they did during the entire story. It went on and on for almost 600 pages and the characters never seemed real, the story wasn't plausible, and I have no idea why I didn't stop reading it. Instead I read it to the very last wildly abrupt ending. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment or maybe I never grasped the idea it had actually been published. I guess I had some false hope it would get better. It never did. The best part is I'm done with it. Pretty sad.

I just started another book and I can already tell this one will be much better. Not bad.
TT

Ring, ring

I got a call from Mr. L yesterday afternoon. He wanted to talk but mostly he wanted to tell me he left his blankie at my house. I told him that I knew that. I found his blankie, I found the shirt his brother changed out of, the charger his mother left behind and his Dad's phone. He proceeded to tell me his blankie should be at his house. It was at my house and that wasn't quite right.

It's a very nice thing to get a phone call from an almost four year old. It can be a little difficult at times because he will press and talk over you sometimes. I'm told he will also take to walking around the house with the phone to his ear. I have to admit I have a tendency to do that too. I'm not sure why I feel the need to move around when I'm discussing something over the phone but it happens. I guess it happens with him, too.

I asked Mr. L if he wanted me to drive to his house and bring his blankie to him. He very quickly said yes and then goodbye. It was settled. He called, stated his point, and resolved it. I figured I needed to get out of the house and stop at the store so the timing of his call was perfect for me to drive a blankie to its proper owner.

There are times when unexpected phone calls are a good thing.
TT

Nothing more needed

It's the day after Thanksgiving and as the rain starts to pour down I think how quiet today has been. I started the day with coffee and dishwater. I drank only the coffee, of course. The dishwater was to wash all the many pots and pans that were used to make the feast we had yesterday. The floors were given a sweep and mop and when everything was finally in their place I kicked back and read.

Thanksgiving day was a huge success. Everything went well and the many menu items were delicious. Turkey and gravy were the best they have been in a long time. Everyone sat together and it made the day an event.

Now as the rain comes down I can sit and watch. I can't ask for more.
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Turkey Days Eve

It's the day before Thanksgiving and the activities start this afternoon. It isn't easy planning and preparing for a feast of this magnitude but years of doing it the same way has its advantages. I've worked out most of the kinks in timing of what to do when. It seems simple but if you are making pies and cornbread that need to go into the oven you cannot do that if your oven is occupied by a turkey roasting for many hours. It even comes down to the shopping. Some things can be bought the weekend prior and some produce items need to be bought right before the deadline. This method also ensures you can pick up any items you forgot. I've figured out all those logistics over the many years of preparing this menu.

I guess the best way to start is to list the menu.

Roast Turkey

Cornbread Stuffing

Gravy

Mashed Potatoes

Sweet Potatoes

Cranberry Sauce

Green Beans

Carrots

Broccoli

Cauliflower

Collard Greens

Cheese Sauce

Rolls

Apple Pie

Pumpkin Pie

Whipped Cream

Wine

Most items can be purchased the weekend before, especially the turkey so it can start to defrost in the refrigerator. I buy all the produce the day before. I usually get out of work early, go straight to the store to get all the fresh items and the items I forgot, then come home.

Wednesday afternoon, I start baking the apple and pumpkin pies. I will also make cornbread which will go into the stuffing. I take the turkey out of the refrigerator and pull the giblets and neck out and put those on to cook. The turkey goes back to the fridge. By doing it this way I have the beginnings of my stuffing that will be prepared first thing Thursday morning. I will also have my pies baked and cooled which frees the oven for the turkey roasting the next day.

I can't wait to get started.
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Big Turkey

It's 22 1/2 pounds. It's the biggest one I could find. In fact, it must have been so big that when I was trying to put it in my cart, the man close-by insisted on helping. That is just how it is. It doesn't matter if it is more than twice the amount of food needed for everyone. It is supposed to be that much. And that is only the turkey.

This event we have created around Thanksgiving is truly a tradition. Not a single thing has changed about it for more years than I can remember or count back. I know it started very early in those years when little boys were young and so was I. There might have been a few items on the menu that didn't make a comeback but mostly it grew into the phenomenon it is today. If Thanksgiving is the holiday for food, we have it aced. Nothing on this menu changes and it is large. I have tried to suggest we make a few substitutions and/or deletions but it is always roared back with a resounding NO! There isn't even a chance of decreasing the amounts or the large size of the protein. It is meant for leftovers. Even if the little boys are now tall and not living under my roof, they still want to have the food ready to pull from their refrigerators to make another plate for the day after and the next.

I am not allowed to go smaller. So now I make sure to buy two extra aluminum foil roasting pans. These are used for the primary purpose of filling with leftovers when the meal is finished. One goes to one boy and one goes to the other. They are able to take Thanksgiving to their homes and keep the tradition exactly the same as it has been since they were young and so was I.

It isn't any more trouble to make a large turkey instead of a small. There is no way I will be the one to break tradition.
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11/23/79

November 23, 1979

That is the date we got married and it's been 36 years. It happened to fall the day after Thanksgiving and we both had that day off. We haven't had that day off since and really our anniversary rarely falls on that date. It fell on a Monday this year.  Jay was off but I went to work.

Since Thanksgiving is this Thursday, he wanted to help with all the things that need to happen. We talked about how it's might be possible to keep all the food warm while I'm still making food. I don't have a restaurant kitchen that can accommodate the many components that are involved in this menu. I don't even have a dining room where we can sit and enjoy the meal after all the cooking is done. I only have my very small kitchen with everything and everybody trying to gather and raise a glass while making gravy and un-stuffing a turkey.

Between the two of us, we tried to come up with an idea to make things work better. Jay spent the day shopping, and shopping. By the time I came home from work, he had a buffet table, two food warmers, an electric plug strip, and talk of how we could pull the dining table out of the kitchen and into the living area. He would bring a small table for the kitchen prep and it would eliminate the kitchen crowding and use it only for cooking. They were all ideas we talked about and he had it laid out and ready by the time I got home.

It's going to make a difference this year. We've been doing this a long time. Thirty six years is a long time to be doing anything but when you shake it up and see it another way keeps it exciting. There was one other thing that was waiting for me when I got home. It was the dozen roses.

I think it will make a splendid centerpiece.
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Topping off

I fully expected it to be cold, blustery, and raining this morning. What a pleasant surprise when I got up and it was clear and 70 degrees. I grabbed a quick cup of coffee and pulled on my running shoes. I was quick enough to beat the bad weather. I needed a little recovery run to get those interior fluids moving to keep the soreness way from all the landscaping I did yesterday. After a full day of rolling old tires, paining benches and spreading 1/2 acre of mulch, I was feeling a little creaky. I knew if I got out and ran it would put me back in line.

It did just that. I feel better now that if I had laid around the 'rested'. And I missed the awful weather. I can see now it might be getting a little windy and cloudy. But that will be okay. My next chore is to head out to the grocery store before it gets clogged with people. A turkey is waiting for me.
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OOO

I'm leaving the house a little later this morning since I don't have to show up in the office. I was lucky enough to be chosen to participate in a community action day today and will be doing some work around the Girl Scout Headquarters. It's going to be some work outside and I don't think there could have been a nicer day to spend outdoors. The other option would be stuck at my desk all day and this is just so much more appealing.

It's a really nice way to kick off Friday and the coming weekend. That will be filled with some activity since I will need to get my act together around the Thanksgiving grocery shopping. I've got a lot to look forward to but right now, I'm just happy to be doing what I'm doing.

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Bad duo's

It's closing in on the end of the week and today the cooler mornings are getting to me. I could say it's probably due more to my age but when it's combined with the type of temperatures I'd rather not face first thing in the morning it can be a bad duo.

I will forgo the descriptions of my small and rather mild ailments. Pick another old person to catch up with all the malady's that befalls each of them. Everyone of them has a long list they are usually more than willing to fess up to and expound on in great length. I am realizing by listening it is nothing more than excuses to not do something they know they should be doing. I would have to say I'm probably in the minority for that opinion. Most people would have fits about me trying to argue the point that as you get older you have more twinges than before. Those aches and pains are real. I know they are there. I don't believe they are all related to age unless you count the fact that so many use age as the only reason not to do things anymore. You're too old. You shouldn't be doing that anymore. You need to slow down. I've heard them all over and again. My twinges were there before. I didn't notice them as much and yeah, now I don't heal up as quickly.

I'll deal with it. And maybe when I'm a little creaky in the morning it might have something to do with the cold morning and the end of the week. It might even have something to do with the fact I DIDN'T get moving yesterday afternoon and my muscles are asking why not? It's that combination of things that make it happen. It isn't all or always about age.
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Faux writing

I gave two reviews yesterday to two different people who requested I take a look at their writing. Every so often I get these through the writing.com site. I don't really participate in the site the way it is set up. It's more of a social media mecca for a lot of people who have varying degrees of interest in writing or just have a network of on-line faux friends while setting up contests. Did I say fake? I can't say that. Since I don't participate or have any friends on the site it isn't fair for me to determine the extent of anyone else's relationships. I'm not so much into social media, can you tell?

But I was asked to give my thoughts on two different short pieces. I did reply to both and received a note back from one who was very appreciative. She felt I had given her something useful to get going on and start working again. She had a good way with a phrase. I haven't heard back from the other. It might be a time difference and it might be they just don't know it's polite to at least say thanks for taking the time but I thought your suggestions were garbage. They will probably go on their merry way and find another faux person to give them advice. That's okay, too. You asked I gave. Don't ask me a question if you don't expect me to answer.

But the good part about writing these reviews is I have to really pay attention to what is on the page. It makes me be a little better at writing because it reminds me that my own writing cannot be a sentimental journey of loving and cuddling every word or sentence. You can't have that much attachment to what you put down. You have to know everything can and will be cut, edited out, and written again. There are no lasting relationships with what goes down on the page. At least there isn't in the early stages. All those words I've written are only gathered together on a page in a type of their own social media mecca. All are false until proved real. They aren't proven real until they all say thank you at the end of a reading and make polite to the reader. Otherwise they are merely degrees of garbage and need to be sent on their merry way.
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What's today?

I've gotten behind on what day it is again. I'm not sure how I lose track so easily but it seems to be a reoccurring problem. The days of the week stay in the same order yet I can't seem to know or remember which one exactly is now. What day is it? Isn't it Friday yet? It feels like it should be a Thursday but it's only Wednesday. Then I look over at my very small desk calendar and realize I still have it on October when it's the middle of November.

Maybe, I don't really need a desk calendar. No. I need one, but only if I might actually use it. It doesn't seem I have been using it at all. At least I haven't for the last half a month. 

But I know today is Tuesday and now that I am looking and recognizing my very small desk calendar, I can see Thanksgiving is next week. I can shake my head and say, "How did that creep up on me?" It wouldn't do any good. I should say, "Look, it's almost Thanksgiving!" I'll go with that for now and figure out the repercussions a little later. I mean it's only Tuesday and I have a little time.

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Seven miles

I'm not sure what finally possessed me to go out and run seven miles yesterday morning. I've spent more time in the past month deciding how not to go out for a run that when I finally got up and went it was a surprise. And it was a good, easy run around the neighborhood.

I could have made a fuss about it being cold. When I say cold I mean cold for me since I don't tolerate it well. But somehow I didn't give it much of a thought and went out anyway. I realized at mile two my fingers were no longer frozen. By the time I hit mile four, I was sweating. Then instead of ending the run right at about mile five, I made a turn off and hit a headwind that dried me off and felt really good. It was seven miles by the time I was a few feet from the house. My pace sucked but who was timing me? It was still seven miles that felt good. I haven't had that in a while.

I almost stumbled at one point. I caught my toe on a rock in the only spot that isn't paved but was able to catch myself before going down. I straightened myself out and kept going. Then I got a twinge in my left knee and still have a bit of it now. It really slowed me down after that but it wasn't a pain, just a real annoyance so I kept after it. It still feels a little off today but it probably isn't more than what I think it is. A twinge from correcting the almost fall.

The fact is I finally got myself up and out and packed on a better run than I've had in a long time. It's about time.
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The music is in me

How do you get your music nowadays?

I have a passion for music. It's something I listen to everyday, without fail. There isn't one single day that goes by that I haven't listened to at least a few hours of music, even if it's a background to something else I might be doing. It's always there, always revving me up, giving me something that fills and heals and can be sunny or sad. All of it is something I can't do without.

Music has always been around for me. I grew up with my mother's albums played on various degrees of better record players and stereos. Every evening after dinner, in the back room of the house where we grew up, she would sit at her sewing machine with Tony Bennett, Petula Clark, or Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass. She would play scores of Andy Williams, Perry Como, and Vicki Carr. I remember the latter being so dramatic and thinking that, if this is an example of how it should be done, she was committed. I probably carried that with me going into teenage years and early twenties when I lived and breathed theater. I couldn't and wouldn't, for all the world, get away from the music.

My dad sang in the church choir. He would go up with the group to the loft and pipe organs above while the rest of the family sat below in the center of the church. After each mass he would ask, "Could you hear me?" It was a choir of blended voices but I could pick his out of the crowd. He would smile back at me when I strongly nodded my head in a definite positive. He wanted to be heard even in the crowd. We practiced songs together while he drove around in the car doing every day errands. Over and over we would sing the same tunes trying to perfect the harmonies, laughing at missed notes, and trying it again. It was always acapella and sometimes he would start or sometimes it would be me. We always gave it the Vicki Carr commitment.

It was many years later while listening to the radio with a co-worker that I realized not everyone could pick out the different instruments playing in songs. I thought everyone could hear the horn, keyboard, or strings that would float through a piece. When I realized not everyone tuned into music that way I couldn't help but think if what they heard was only a mash of notes. What did they actually hear or did they hear anything at all? How could that be? The years of playing piano taught me to read those notes and understand their placements, and timing, crescendos and decrescendos. It didn't hurt to have it all around me with a brother that became a virtuoso at that keyboard or the brothers that picked up 6-string, 12-string guitars, banjos and sang. We were all a fearless bunch of happy racket makers. But what a joyously wonderful way to make noise.

The music stays with me all the time. I played it over and over while painting this room. I play it each night in the kitchen while making dinner. It's on the deck while we relax and sit outside. It's with me on runs, long or short. There are different ways to get it these days instead of large vinyl record albums or only on the local stations of radios. But with all the technology, it sometimes get's hard to figure out where to pin it down or how to find something new. I only know I have it and it's never going away.
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For me

I know I should be thinking up a better topic. The fact that so many days I just start putting down a bunch of words that enter my head at that particular moment may not be the best approach to make anything interesting. Is that supposed to make a difference? Who am I putting these words down for anyway? My entire approach to starting this was that I wanted to do what everyone said I needed to do to get better at writing. I needed to write. Write, write, write. Put the words down, get them out, stop editing as you go along and write, write, write.

I've been doing that. It may or may not be the best approach to getting any better. It certainly isn't any good for writing anything interesting. Words tumbling over more words, linked to even more words do not usually produce anything interesting. It might give you an idea for something that may become interesting but then you have to plow through all the many words to find the real idea.

I've done that already. I wrote an entire manuscript of words that I thought had some kind of interesting idea around it. It didn't. It's merely a first draft of a bunch of words that I strung together. And maybe that is what I needed to do. It's how you learn. You start out and do it and then, hopefully, you keep working on it. But you can't think that is where you stop. It isn't done. It never ends there. Never. Not for any writer. Don't fool yourself into thinking the first time you put those long string of words down that you are done. That is only breaking the very edge of the idea.

Yes, I know you can write your outlines, and plan your characterizations, and there are reams of pages of advice on how to get it done quickly and easily and avoid numerous re-writes. The fact is its more work even when you have done all that. It's more than you thought, even when you thought it was a lot. It's even more.

But right here in this space and all these words I put down have always been, from the beginning, a way to get me to write. I think of it as a run. Not a training run, or a sprint, or a long run, or an anything run. It's just getting up and doing something along the lines of what I want to do to keep me going. I want to keep going so I keep on doing it whether it counts or not. Sometimes it comes out better than other times. Sometimes not. But then, I'm putting these words down for no one. Except me.
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Not today

I guess I should write something about Friday the 13th since today is exactly that. The problem is that I am not in the least suspicious and I'm not sure if for me it holds any meaning whatsoever. If I were to look at it right now, I would think it has more on the positive side than negative. I mean, everyone reminds you to live in the moment and at the moment from my perspective things are more than pretty good.

Today is Friday, which means my weekend is practically here. Yea! Strike up the bank and set off the fireworks! Since the 15th falls over the weekend we get paid today. YEA! Even better. I have the weekend coming and money in the bank.

So, I'm not sure when the ominous Friday the 13th stuff is supposed to take effect. If you are to ask me, my answer would be never.
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More absurd headlines

I couldn't help but follow-up on more online news headlines. The ones I mentioned yesterday piqued my interest on what might be on their site today. I didn't think I could come across any more headlines that were less news-worthy than the ones I saw yesterday but I might have been wrong.

I realize a headline is designed to get you to stop and click open the article. I didn't do that yesterday and didn't do it again today. I merely glazed over the different sections of this new site and picked out one that looked, well, I don't want to say interesting so I should be honest and say absurd. I guess they will do whatever it takes to get those clicks.

Here are the headlines for today:

Travel - The coolest abandoned hotels and resort towns
I guess you can't stay at these hotels but travel to tour them?

Food - 44 creative ways to eat more chocolate
Do I need to eat chocolate creatively and more importantly, do I need to do it more than one way?

Health & Fitness - The surprising link between your sense of humor and dementia risk
Uh oh

Entertainment - Drama! Giada De Laurentiis' new boyfriend is still married
I've got a feeling it isn't as dramatic as they are trying to sell.

These are the actual headlines. I didn't change a single word. All the comments are my own. Maybe I should go back and read that Health & Fitness article.
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This is news?

I don't watch the news on television. I'm not even sure where I would find that channel. I know they keep the TV's in the breakrooms at work on CNN but not the breakroom I am closest to because it's such a small area. They can't fit one of those big televisions they put in all the other breakrooms in there. But even at home I don't watch.

I will find myself reading articles online. Sometimes that will happen at work, in-between finishing something and before starting something else. I'll go to a couple of news websites to gather anything that catches my eye to read. Unfortunately, somtimes the things that are available to read aren't all that interesting and I have to turn away and search for something else. I guess that is why they all try really hard to come up with something that will catch your attention right away. They know the dangers of how quickly someone will click you away and move on.

I wrote down some of the actual headlines that I saw yesterday.

Travel section: The best ski escapes for non-skiers
Food section: Never run out of alcohol at your party again
Health & Fitness: Things you shouldn't do before going to bed
Entertainment: Giada DeLaurentiis' new boyfriend revealed

I didn't read any of them but remained stumped about the sheer ridiculousness of the headlines. They obviously didn't have any depth to them. How could they?

The travel section must be getting a kick-back from the ski resorts to advertise something to encourage skiers to bring they partners who hate to ski along on the trip. Look, here are all the things they can distract themselves and pay more money for while you go ski!

The food section is really reaching because who runs out of alcohol at a party? Do you really need an article to tell you how not to do that? Maybe they should concentrate on not running out of food.

I'm not sure about you, but I can't imagine there are that many things you shouldn't do before going to bed. I tried to think up a few but I just can't come up with anything that makes any real difference.

And revealing someone's boyfriend might be big entertainment to some but Giada is a chef. Are we having a cross-over moment, a left-over from another section? Maybe there is only one writer for all these articles and that was the only article left to fill up all the sections.

I don't know. Maybe that is why I don't know where the news station is located on my television. At least with online headlines I can skip over them pretty quickly and click myself away. I'd be wasting a whole lot more time watching these silly stories waiting for something that is news-worth to show up.
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Few things before

I managed to get up early again this morning. It's becoming a regular pattern now. I think the time change has finally settled into regular time again. I only wish they wouldn't make that fall back, spring forward, move the hour up and down anymore. I can't see the real reason to continue doing it except to upset people like me who are fine the way it is. Ah well, I don't believe it's going to change. I don't know that anything I think makes any difference when it comes to things like that.

I would like to get a few more things done this morning before work. I'm not sure how much of it will really get done but I can make my attempts. I'm certainly not entertaining the idea of going in to work any earlier than normal. I don't need the extra time there. It seems I need it here at home and since I seem to be up and awake this works for me.

So now, I will get on to those few things...
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Early

I got up early this morning and used the extra time. I thought about going into work and then after one second decided nah. I didn't do that. I decided to go in at my regular time and not get to my desk any earlier than I normally would. It was a good decision. Who needs to get to work any earlier than regular time. I sure didn't so it was a good move on my part.

I put the extra time to good use and the day went on well. It started out well and ended pretty much the same way.
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Monday ready

The weekend went too quickly as always. I opened my eyes this morning and realized it was Monday morning. Time to get up and moving. Time to get ready for work and the entire week ahead. I always have that slight feeling of dread when you wake up and realize the day is not for me to plan but to do as the routine dictates. It's okay. My routines aren't so bad and most of the time even if they are I will eventually get around to changing them.

I admit sometimes it takes me longer to change the routines than others. I will admit there is too much thought put into changing things at times. I decide I need to think about it from this angle and then run around to the other side and take another look from that view. Let me see how it looks from up above or down below. Up, down, over, under and my thoughts keep getting confused on what I imagine I see. I mean, really, when it comes down to it, I don't know how the change will turn out by anayzing it. It is only when I proceed to make the change that I have any power on how it turns out. That thought process it just a stall tactic. It's a way of rationalizing and calming that lying voice in my head that changes don't need to be made even if I know they do.

So, that has nothing to do with my weekend which was filled with my own choices and not with choices made inside that part of my head that talks me out of things that are really better for me. It was totally relaxing, which I needed. We got to cook up some good food, which is always a plus, and the weather, although it started out a little on the wet side, turned nice and comfortable by the end of the weekend.

I'm ready for Monday and this new week. I might need to make a couple of changes with my after hours times but it isn't anything I need to think about. I'll just approach it when it's time.
TT

Enjoy

Sunday morning, November 8, 2015

It's early. That's normal. I'm looking forward to a nice day weather-wise and just overall. It's still dark out and it's quiet in the neighborhood. It's a good time to collect my thoughts and see where they might take me. Let's solve all those pressing questions, find solutions to the things that matter. It seems like a tall order for a quiet Sunday morning.

The fact is there really isn't anything pressing. The things that matter don't need any solutions because there isn't a problem to solve. Things are not in a bad way by any stretch. So it sounds like it is going to be a really nice day. Choices can be made for the fun and enjoyment of doing them instead of any pressure of needing to get anything done. It's all taken care of for now and it's time to take advantage of the other side of that balancing act. Slow down, relax, and enjoy. It's early.
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My run will wait

I missed my 10-minute 'sprint' yesterday. I didn't set my timer and go for it. This morning it looks like I'll have more than enough time to write. I had every intention of putting in a load of laundry in the wash and then heading out for a long leisurely run. I pictured it in my head as a slow and steady, easy, breezy run. It was to be a relaxing, invigorating, totally stress-deflating type of way to start off the weekend. It was to be a kick-start to the rest of all the activities I was going to do.

I didn't realize how bad the weather really was. I wasn't expecting the constant dripping of rain. I don't even mind the temperatures right now. Those are fine, even if lower than I would normally call fine, but that isn't what but a damper on my activity.

The damper is the wet. Now I'm known for running in the rain in prior instances. It isn't exactly something I shy away from doing anymore. That happened only once, or was it twice, when I had never done it before. In that one, was it two, instances that a race was approaching I made anxious inquiries if the race was still going to happen. What if it rains? The answer was always the same. It will go on. So I went and pretty much lucked out since the rain didn't happen until after I was well into the race. One 10K it didn't come down until I was crossing the finish and then I got to watch it afterward. I've always started out in regular weather and didn't mind the rain coming down once I started running. Many times it feels pretty good to have that happen. But I can't seem to get out my door if it's already coming down.

Like this morning. I don't think I can push myself to go on when it's already pouring down. I realize skin is waterproof but only if it isn't raining when I first start. That only seems to apply if it's dry when I start, or not actually coming down, and starts after I have.

So I will need to re-arrange the timing of everything I will do today. The laundry still goes in right now to get that started. I will have another cup of coffee and probably clean up the kitchen. I'll make a grocery list and see about heading out to the store. I am crossing my fingers that there will be a break in the rain and I will head out for that run, even if I need to adjust the fantasy I have in my head. That's okay. I can still picture it happening.

Then, I will have more time to set that silly timer for more than 10 minutes and let loose on another story. I'll work on one of them. My thoughts keep bouncing back and forth between a few I've started, one or two I've finished and which needs major editing. And my 10-minute timer you ask? It went off at least 4 minutes ago. It was at least that long ago so I've gone over the 10-minute mark.
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Another 10

Shall we try for another 10 minutes?

This is an exercise to start slowing getting back into a routine that you want to have. It's a way of prodding yourself ever so slowing into doing something you claim you have no time in the day to do. The idea is to take 5 minutes, set a timer and only do that one thing. No preparation, no thinking ahead, no planning and just doing that one thing for the entire five minutes until the alarm goes off.

After you have mastered the five minutes each day and realize you have that short amount of time to do this thing, you can move on to doing it for a longer period, say 10 or 15 minutes. Soon you will be on the road to making it something that fits nicely into your regular schedule. That is how it should work. I have only attempted it once, yesterday, and it worked. I thought it couldn't hurt to try again today and see where it might lead.

The only difference is that I had to be my own silly overachiever, my own rebel that won't follow the rules exactly as laid out. I had to do 10 minutes not 5. It worked out yesterday. I managed to keep going, to keep writing for the full 10 minutes. I posted that crazy thing yesterday without much of a second glance and (goodness) any editing. I haven't had the time to really read through it again with much focus but the one time I did read it, it wasn't too bad.

The ten minutes was my way of giving myself an out. I mean, the only logical reason I wasn't taking the time to spend on this anyway was because of the fears that well up whenever you think you can't do something. By making myself do this for 10 minutes was an easy way to tell myself, "I told you so," when I didn't do it. I would become the self-fulfilling prophesy of my inner voice that tells me I can't. Do you see how I can set myself up for failing? That voice lies constantly and yet how much attention is always given to it. If a real person was constantly telling me the same things I would have walked away from them a long, long time ago. But this voice isn't as easy to walk away from. Or is it? Doesn't it really take the same amount of courage to walk away from those inner voices you know are lies as it does to a real life person.

Oh, listen. That 10 minutes alarm is going off already! Success, two days in a row.
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10 not 5

I've just set a timer for 10 minutes. It's supposed to be a way to get your incentive going. The idea is you aren't doing something because of all the many reasons you have for not doing it so doing it for a short time will show you how to get started. So many times the main reason you don't get going on what you want to do is because you don't have time. You go to great lengths to make that a feasible excuse. Even when you know you have time you will sometimes rearrange the things in your life and find out, "Oh look. No time." Point that rigidly straight index finger down at that trim wrist. "See." Shrug. 

So I've come across yet another piece of information that explains all the things I already know about this. It suggested you sit down and do whatever it is you are not getting done for five minutes. Just five minutes. You have that much time. You can do it. Do this every day until you get past the idea and excuse for not doing it. It’s only five minutes a day.

So, I've decided to give myself a built-in excuse for why this won’t work. I went for 10 minutes. Sure. I knew what I was up to and doing. I knew there was the possibility of there being a reason behind only five minutes. You might actually be able to do five minutes. And when you finish, you get to jump up and celebrate and feel good and say, Yeah! I can do this. I can check this off my list! I did this today, I can do it again tomorrow, and then instead of having days in a row of nothing, I will have an accumulation of daily five minutes concentrated on this thing. 

So in order to give my inner self a way to get out of this really working, I set the timer for 10 minutes. I doubled the time in the suggested article. One of the many I read and think why should I read another article about this? I already know what they say. I've already scanned the universe and the even bigger internet of all those articles. I already know the plotting points to get myself to get up, go, and do. And then something happens. 

The alarm goes off. It says 10 minutes. Time is up!
TT

Take the initiative

I've been procrastinating for so long I think I've become very good at it. It's the exact opposite of what I was going for, but isn't that always the case when you convince yourself you will never succeed at something? You do the exact things you shouldn't, so you can prove to yourself it could never happen. You prove that it isn't worth the time, the work, the efforts, because it will never happen. By doing nothing, you've saved yourself all that time and work and hurt feelings. You should be rejoicing that you made the right decision to not tackle that thing you can't possibly accomplish because, well, you haven't and you never will.

Then why, if you've made such a great decision, do you still think about it? Why do you still ponder away on this idea and that idea, still gather information, and try to absorb every thing you can about it? It might be because you think you really can do it, but you've gotten really good at finding ways to not do it. You've become the expert at all those other things and those things become the accomplishment. You know it isn't. You know you are just hiding behind that comfortable barrier of feelings. So what do you do?

The obvious thing would be to stop doing what you've been doing and start the actual work of what it is you want to do. It's easy to say, not so easy to do. That means change, that means doing something that you've already decided is uncomfortable, something you are unsure of doing. That means testing those feelings of thinking you can't and still pressing on, and ignoring them. All those things that have been so comfortable doing need to stop, and replaced with only the one thing you need to do to get going. As an example, it would mean, stop buying running gear and just go for a run instead. Stop reading about writing and just pull out your project and write on it. Concentrate on the story at hand without letting all the other things become a distraction or a way to procrastinate. Ah, there it is, procrastination. That thing I have become so good at doing. The thing I have allowed myself to carry around like a security blanket as a way of getting myself out of doing what I know I should be doing. That thing that keeps me safe from the fear and the failure because I've been doing everything I should or want to do to avoid it so I don't mess it up.

It takes a first step to start or continue on any journey. Walking around in tight circles is sort of ridiculous. It's time to look up, smile, and start walking ahead. Don't forget to smile, because you have to remember, it's something you want to do. Deep down inside, even when you keep trying to tell yourself you can't, there is something there that makes you feel otherwise or you wouldn't still be thinking about doing it. Take the initiative to do it. Go on and stop worrying about how it will turn out and give yourself permission to mess it up!

At least then, you will have given yourself the push to take the next step.
TT

All Souls

Here it goes.

Take a moment today before the whirlwind of holidays and events sweeps you up into it's vortex. We've gotten through a rush of Halloween activities. They were some of the best days with time spent working toward making the moments meaningful and something we all will remember in our own ways. Now with the weather making its turn toward cooler temperatures it pushes us into the coming holidays, Thanksgiving, birthdays, Christmas, and the end of this year.

Before we get pulled headlong into the events that are destined to come our way, take a moment and give a thought to the ones we no longer have here with us. Think about the good things they showed us. Pause and remember those good times and reflect on what makes us grin because of who they were and how they gave us something, so much. Remember the simple things, like the way that memory makes me smile when it wasn't more that a whisper of a thought.

Happy All Souls Day!
TT

Pumpkin

 
Let's take care of that little pie pumpkin. He went over well as a part of my chips and guacamole centerpiece the other night but this morning after Halloween it's time to give him double duty.

We needed a sharp knife and let's cut him up! Into the oven to roast and toast up those seeds.

After it was all cooled, we bake up a bread with walnuts and oh, oh, oh.

And last night? With all the ghoals and gobins out and about we had a fine old time. Just look...

What a scary bunch! BOO!

Happy All Saints Day

TT

Dia De Los Muertos

The family requested we set up an Ofrenda this year after many years of not doing so. It was time. Traditions needed to be brought back front and center. We needed to honor our past people, which is what the altar is all about.

This is what you do. Grab those photos of the ones that have past and give them a taste of their favorite food or drink or hobbie or pasttime. Throw in the candles and sugar skulls and you have everyone looking over every small detail of each thing you have set out. 

It really is a great way to remember and talk about the memories.

Then, because the whole family got together, we needed some food and it's almost halloween. We went with a mexican menu. Guacamole, anyone?

 We then made up some corn masa and fried up some sope shells. Add those refried beans, chorizo and potatoes or picadillo with lettuce, tomato and cheese.  Add a stuffed jalapeno or two on the side and yowza!

Then, as if that wasn't enough, we made our own ancho chili sauce and made some stacked enchiladas. Simply layered tortillas, sauce, cheese, a little onion if you like, and bake. Then! Top with a fried egg and dig into that one! Ahhh, now you're talking.

Dessert! Sonny made what we are calling, Da Dirt Pie. You can see the little hands and fingers at the edge of the picture, waiting for their slice. They know what's coming since they got to lick the spoon and pulled a gummy worm or two out to eat, already.

And then, if you like, have a sugar cookie, or sugar finger. Go ahead. They are going fast.

Too much is enough! And today is Halloween. Candy, anyone?
TT

Stop to think

Whoa, whoa! Give me a minute to catch up.

Isn't this great? Things have been clipping right along so fast I don't have time to see where I'm at. Everything seems to be getting done, there is that excitement that occurs when you are looking forward to certain things you are working towards, and then you need to stand still long enough to take it in.

I am taking the last two days of this month off as vacation and it will be a culmination of getting ready for Halloween, All Saints, All Souls...Day of the Dead. I'm in the midst of getting things organized and planned and family has gotten all involved and now it's turning into the type of event we used to do so many years ago. It's this and that and I have pieces and bits and the past weekend and the day before and this morning are all swirling around with the ideas that are circling in my head until I am at the point to say whoa! Think time.

I have most of the components scattered around. Let me sit still long enough to put this event together.
TT

Sleep planning

I am so glad it's Saturday. It isn't even because the past week was hard. If anything, the week went rather well and everything was just fine. I guess that only enhances the fact that since today is Saturday, I have that week behind me, and I have my own options to consider.

I let myself laze in bed a moment longer than usual while I mull over some immediate ideas to get started. You know that brief time when you are half awake and still in bed that your mind takes you away. I somehow manage to get some brief planning done in that space of time. I go through the ideas of I'll get up, do this and then start that. I should have this done by such-in-such and then, oh yeah, I need to do that, too. I'll fit it in during this time. Before I know it, I'm up and making coffee which is the only real and routine way I start every day. Doesn't everyone?

So my Saturday is off and running before my feet even hit the floor. Now that I am actually conscience and not in a half-sleep I can sort through my wanna-get-dones. And here you go. I can already check one item off the list...I put this up. My method works.
TT

Down time

I've been trying to put together a post for a couple of days but 'things' keep me from getting it all put together. I even stole away a few minutes at work to try to draft it up and ended up leaving it saved and stored. I don't seem to be making any attempts to getting that draft completed by any stretch.

It isn't as if I don't have time after work but that particular slot of time seems to have become another type of zone. It must be a really protected area because it seems nothing gets done in that space (of time). I'm not sure why. I believe it's because old habits are hard to kill and the enormous waste that is produced in that allotted time-frame has grown notoriously. I should stop that.

So this isn't the post I was working on (not that I work long or hard on any of these). But I have three different drafts I should spend some time on. I can decide if there is anything in them I want to keep or just delete the silly suckers. They are probably nothing to save and that would be a good fit for my time slot I mentioned earlier. At least I would be keeping within the same theme of wasting time within my time wasting period already in place.

I've got to make better use of that time. Soon.
TT

Conscience motion

Aren't we all moving forward. Shouldn't we be?

We can all ride the waves of life and let the pull and push of it take us where it will. There is always a time and place when we should relax, lean back, and let it take us away.  Drifting along creates a proper balance in our lives at times we have been in a tailspin of overwork, overproducing, and just plain getting caught up in the hype. Learning how to lean back and enjoy the drift is something that can be crucial to our well-being.

There are other times we might need to stop the regular flow and find our direction. If we drift, there is a chance of finding ourselves totally off-course. We may be in a spot we didn't want to go and or in a place we didn't want to be in. Obviously, it's time to put some direction and focus into the things you want.

You might say to yourself: Here I am. I want to be there. How do I do that? Move forward. Stop the drifting for now and make conscience choices to get from your point A to point B. Slowly. It isn't a race. Keep that calm you've achieved.

As you move along the way, it's okay to change your mind about the process. Maybe the way you thought to get where you want to be isn't working. Some might think that is failure and are afraid to take the first steps much less rethink what you are doing mid-way. This is only part of the things that need to happen. Plans never turn out exactly as expected but focus keeps you on track. Keep in mind you will learn as you go. Doing one thing that doesn't work will give you another idea of what else might and the motion stays constant. Only this time instead of drifting you are deciding the proximity of where you want to end up.
TT

Open for more than normal

Another week to crank up and get started. There is nothing except the normal on the agenda. It's going to be a fairly regular, run of the mill, type of week from this view so far. It will be nothing more than a little of the same old, same old.

I might wonder if that type of attitude keeps anyone from having any more than the same old agenda. Does not expecting any more than what you would normally experience cause the everyday occurrences to happen again and again. Does it happen that way because we aren't open to something out of our normal?

Would it make any difference in our day to day if we stayed open to the possibility of something different happening? Is something small yet new happening during these routine weeks but because we are so wrapped up in what we recognize as our normal, we don't see or accept the new and different that might actually be taking place?

I guess there is a chance of that going on. So maybe with this new week cranking up, I need to be on the look-out for anything out of the norm. It will change things up. Time to be open to more than than normal.
TT

What do you want

I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I am, what I want, and where and what do I want to do. That can be dangerous. Oh, I don't mean all those questions. I mean, me doing a lot of thinking. Anytime I spend a considerable amount of time to think it can be more confusing than if I made a quick decision.

But dry humor aside, let's face it. How long do you really need to think about all that stuff? Come on. In the back of your mind you know the answers to most of those questions but are too afraid to admit them. You surround the true answer in all the possible  reasons you can't do it or shouldn't do it and let that confuse you into thinking you don't have a choice. Just answer the question. Be honest. See what that feels like to admit it and think about only that.

What do you want to do? ______________________________.

Did you fill in the blank. Did you let yourself see what it is? Picture it in your brain. Now that it's clear, think about that. How do you do it.

• Figure out the smallest step to start. 
• Make yourself do it because you will never feel like doing it. 
• When you decide you will skip it, give yourself 5 seconds to go do it.

Be a strict parent to yourself. You know what's good for you but listen instead to that inner voice that constantly lies to you. Stop. And go. Fill in the blank and decide to get started. 

TT