Warm Gratitude

I believe today will be the warmest out of a week of a very cold bit of weather. I try not to make too big a deal out of the fact I wish I could bypass winter every year since I don't enjoy it. When I see pictures of softly falling snow and white capped branches I shudder in horror. I know it isn't the reaction most would have to these supposedly wonderful landscapes but my logical mind knows I would be in total panic of the freezing temperatures. Zero tolerance for me.

But there is so much more I have to be grateful about than to worry over a few days of blistering cold weather. For one thing I don't have to venture far out of my home. There is plenty to do and celebrate without moving outside my front door. I take advantage of that as much as I can. This year might end damp and freezing but I look toward another and am thankful. 

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Landmark

A few posts back I actually hit a landmark for this blog. It seems I've been sputtering, mumbling, rambling on and on enough here to come up with over 2000 posts. Published posts, posts that are here and still available.

I'm not sure it's good, bad, or indifferent, but the sheer number alone is higher than I anticipated. I should celebrate in some way by hmmm, maybe posting again.

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Holiday Week

Time is blowing through fast. If it wasn't for the few pictures I took I might not have evidence of the just past Thanksgiving holiday or any of the other great things that happened just this past week.

There was tremendous planning that went into the great feast on Thursday but before that happened, I managed to make a trip out to hike at Lost Maples. It was a glorious way to spend the day even if it was steeper than I remember.

 

Then it was time to get into the kitchen and make our usual spread for Thanksgiving dinner. I got everything cooked and it turned out very well. Turkey was moist and that's a sign of success!

 After all the food was taken care of - given away, put away, munched on the next day, I got busy and finished my third quilt!

It's a Christmas throw that I wanted to try with triangles, which also look like trees, and there are twelve rows of trees in different holiday materials. I think it turned out quite nice.

So a busy week it has been. Lot's of things going on. And my 20 workouts for November got stuck at 17. I still have a few days left so I will need to get those last three days out of the way. If I can find the time.

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8 down

I have managed to score a run every day since November started. I have eight runs under my belt for a total of 40 miles. It's been a nice start to the month and I am trying to figure out if I will wait until the weather warms a bit this morning or just drive myself to the gym.

I would rather wait and get outside if at all possible. I guess it would be safe to wait and if the weather doesn't straighten out I will bear the trip to the gym. Let's get 20 workouts this month. So far so good.
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Day one, step one

Good Morning, November.

There's a promise of new things to come. A misty, cooler end of October cleared the air for some fresh ideas. Plans to make and break, change and re-negotiate, and come around to the newer, better, bigger things that make it real.

Step one: Start.
Step two: Do it again
Step three: Make adjustments
Step four: Repeat improved process

I'm going to give it a go. Today is Day one, step one, start.
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Pan de Muerto

I got myself into a baking streak. I'm not sure what brings these spells on but I was under one the past two days. I guess the cooler weather blowing in might have prompted my urging to warm the house by putting baked goods into the oven.

It started simply enough. I made some basic pineapple turnovers. I made a regular pie crust dough. Rolled it out, cut into circles and filled with some pineapple tidbits that I thickened with a little corn starch and a sprinkle of sugar. They came out better than expected.

 Then came the larger project. I found a great recipe for Pan de Muerto. This time I had already found the illusive ingredient of Orange Blossom Water. I knew I could get it online but I finally snatched it up when I saw it at a store and kept it waiting until I was ready. Now I was ready.

I made a simple starter. It worked beautifully so I went along and added it to the six eggs, flour, butter, sugar, anise, salt and a teaspoon of the orange water. It already smelled delicious but needed two hours to rise and double. It did and then I formed it and let it rise another two hours. Baking took an additional 40 minutes and cooling on a rack another hour. It's quite the process but, for me, worth every waiting period in between.

For a first attempt it came out very well. Brown and crisp on the outside and soft and flavorful on the inside. It was the original tastes of the traditional Mexican pastry breads and that's what I wanted to achieve. It worked. It was right. Taste the tradition.

I hope you enjoy the short video. It was more fun than posting picture after picture of what I made and it keeps me busy and my mind off of eating all the baked goods!

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Nice weather

It's a little brisk this morning. Cooler than it's been in a long while. It also seems darker than usual for this time of the morning but I might have that mixed up. I haven't been paying all that much attention to clocks so to make a comparison with time involved might be incorrect. I don't really remember how light or dark it's been at any given early morning hour. It just seems darker, I guess.

I have a dental appointment at 11am so I will have a run this afternoon. No rushing around. Take my time but still get it done. The weather will wait for me today.
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Bag of Ties

What started as a quiet, easy morning produced a finished product I have been working on for a while.

I had a bag of my Dad's ties stuck away in my attic. It was a month ago I went searching for them and retrieved them from their forgotten storage. There were twelve ties, Dad's ties, and what was I going to do with them?

I took a chance and scribbled an idea on a blank notepad.

I took a brave step and washed all the ties. They all turned out fine and I went about deconstructing them. I took them all apart one by one, removing seams and linings and tags. I had to see how much material I had to work with.

Then I decided on other materials I would use to fill in where there wasn't enough to cover each square I was attempting. I found some good colors. I found some material that looked vintage enough to possibly be another of his ties. I matched them up and sorted them out. I cut, I stitched, I ripped out what I did wrong and did it again. It was becoming big and bulky and harder to work. I kept thinking I shouldn't be trying to do this on my second attempt at this sort of thing. I should wait on this precious project until I have more experience doing this. I thought that for moments throughout my working but it seemed I also heard my Dad quietly and easily saying if not now, when?

I kept at it. I pinned and bound and snipped stray threads until I had it all completed. I finished my second quilt and it's large enough to cover a full/queen size bed. It's unique and colorful and doesn't live in a bag in the attic any longer. It's different from any other bag of ties.

I even remembered to use the tags from the inside of the ties. It seemed they needed their place on the quilt, too.

So my second attempt at quilting was more than a satisfying journey for me. Dad came along to give me a few pointers when I was in doubt the way he always did. Love 'ya, Dad. Always will.
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Easy morning

It's starting out to be a lazy morning. That isn't the right word. Not lazy but laid-back, easy, quietly calm would be a better description. I'm having a cup of coffee or two and getting down to some things that are easy breezy. The time clicks and I don't notice.

Well spent.
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No Lists

What to do?

I've made plans and lists and goals. I found a list I wrote at the beginning of 2017. It was concise with well thought out elements. It was quick, easy to read and understand covering the areas of interest. It was a good example of all the things I should do in order to get myself going and accomplish everything I thought I needed to get done. I didn't get any of it done.

It wasn't the lists fault. It wasn't too far out of my range. I could have done everything on the list. I didn't make wild and crazy goals. So why didn't it work?

It isn't that it didn't work. I had real life going on to stick with any list. There were other priorities that needed immediate attention. I put the list away and did the things that happened each day. Some of the things I did included portions of what was on the list but to go back now and say I did what I wrote down wouldn't be accurate.

It's a good list. It's a good reminder of where my thoughts were back at the beginning of the year. I can still use elements of what it contained but to think it's all going to get done in any decided amount of time would be unrealistic. And it isn't really needed. I've done plenty without following a list at all.

So what do I want to do today?
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Making Order

Written.

No. I haven't. Not a paragraph, sentence, phrase. Not a word.

It's okay. It's still all in my head. There are revisions and edits and some new ideas that are barely beginning to bump around in my mind. It gets past over for all the other major changes that have crept up and managed to use all my time. There have been so many this year. Changes.

This could be some of the biggest shifts I can ever think of happening. Well, I guess there could always be more and larger adjustments but it sure seems as if there were so many this year. There were enough to throw me off, shake me up, and use the majority of my time figuring out.

It's not all figured out completely but at least at this point it's all good. It was from the start but I had to feel like everything was at least in some type of order before it felt like it was all good. It's there. It sure took a long time or at least much longer than I would have predicted.

And the writing.

Let's begin.
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Peace to Paradise

Right about now I would be getting ready to head out to my favorite vacation spot. I would be packing a few things to spend a few relaxing days at my personal paradise the way I have done for more years that I can even remember. We made reservations over a week ago and I was truly excited to be heading out.

We realized mid-week the weather was taking a bad turn. We didn't know until a few days later it was worse than we ever expected. Reservations cancelled, mandatory evacuation, and all plans changed as the eye of a hurricane stormed through my personal paradise.

Instead of packing this morning I've spent too much time viewing videos of the aftermath of a devastating storm. I've had to hold back the emotion every time I recognized a familiar spot that now is a pile of rubble. I can't help but wonder of the 10,000 residents and how their entire lives have been blow and drenched and scattered. I want to get out there and pick up pieces but realistically I would be caught in flood waters this way or that. So I watch and listen to the wind and rain outside my own window in respect.

I won't be heading out this morning. I'll refrain from watching too many more videos. I'll bow my head in silence as the nature around me keeps me humble. And I'll count all my many blessings.
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My first quilt

I decided to learn something new. At the end of July I started taking a serious look at the possibility of making a quilt. I can sew and thought I might be able to give this project a good effort without having to find and take long classes to cover the basics of sewing. I already knew that part and wanted to keep with the overall idea of quilting of not spending bunches of money to complete the task.

I started doing a little internet research. It didn't take long to find blogs that went step-by-step of each part of the process with pictures. I was able to get the general idea of what supplies I needed and how to take the first steps in getting it all together. I also checked out some YouTube videos for specific items like the proper way to cut these small pieces of fabric evenly. The research was easy to find and very specific, loaded with free tips.

So I started with a few new supplies, like my pizza fabric cutter and clear rulers. A few bits of fabric and I was on my way.

 

I didn't realize I picked the smallest squares to try. I cut 2 1/2" squares when they could have been larger. Now I know. Those small squares were sewn into blocks of nine squares each. I ended up with 101 blocks which means it took 909 small squares. But that was good and when I was done I had the top of my quilt.

I went on to the next steps and padded it and as the blog suggested, I used a flat sheet I never use as the back. So I had a sandwich of top squares, cotton padding, and flat sheet to pin and start sewing together. This is what makes the quilting. I sewed along each seam line of each square in long rows one way and then the other.

This was a first try and considering I was using only blogs and a few videos as instruction, I think it turned out pretty well. I now have an idea of how this is supposed to work and excited to start another that I will put more thought into the design.

This one is 68" x 55" which is a good size. It covers the top of a queen size bed but I would like another larger. I will use larger squares for that and pick fabric with a more thought out pattern.

 



It's not too bad for a first attempt. I could do this again!
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Change of plan

I completed my challenge of 5 days of 5Ks.

That was a day or so ago. I skipped out yesterday and somehow the morning time got away from me today and I didn't get out again. I might need to re-think plans to rearrange time.

Wouldn't that be an amazing and complex concept to try to take on. The idea of rearranging time could and is daunting. I will give it some thought but I'm sure I won't be able to give it any justice.
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This or that

I've completed three days of my 5 days of 5Ks. Just a status update.

It's going to be another scorching day with temperatures over 100 degrees again. There is a small window in the morning I like to take advantage of before it gets too hot. Afternoon is not the time to be doing much outside. But it's summer and I wouldn't expect any different.

I have a flexible agenda today. Do this or that or not that or this. But I got another run in.
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Two days

I took my own words to heart yesterday and decided I would give myself a goal or a self-inflicted way to move myself out the door for a slightly more consistent basis.

I decided to run a 5K for 5 days. It's nothing too dramatic. It isn't a horribly high goal to reach but it will serve the purpose of getting myself out the door each morning. I started yesterday and have already run another 3.1 miles this morning.

I've already completed two days out of five. I've already run 6 miles more than last week. It isn't a lot but it's more and consistent. I don't think I will have any trouble doing it again tomorrow and even if I stopped there I would be ahead of the game.

But I won't stop there. No. Five days it is.
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And running

And what about running.

I have been doing well with my consistency of running until it stopped. I have been able to get out almost every day and get a 3 or 4 mile run completed before the day got too deep into itself. I was on a firm and consistent daily routine until I wasn't.

It's only been about a week and a half since I suddenly seemed to fall off and stop. I'm not sure what prompted the end of such a good, long, consistent running streak. Maybe it was the weather but that is too easily blamed. I'm sure it was something I thought up or analyzed to it's death about why or how it needed to be curtailed. It doesn't but it stopped for a recent while now.

Time to get back out again. Build it up and take it slow. Make it persistent and consistent and fun.
A break doesn't a quitter make.
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Distractions

I'm getting distracted and it's still early morning. This is the normal time I would try to get organized and I'm having a bit of start this and then do that until that other thing comes along and I decide to move to yet another thing to do. I guess it isn't a bad thing except I'm sure I will forget to do some of the things I should be doing.

I might have to start a list of things I don't want to forget while I'm hopping from one thing to another. It will need to be fast because these thoughts are piling up pretty quickly. By the time I think to do one thing another pops up and then another and I forget the first or second and then remember much later after it should have been done.

I guess I need to take a break and think Zen or meditate or just have another cup of coffee while I mull over all the lovely things I get to pick and choose to do or not.
Coffee it is.
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Plenty to do

Somehow I've landed in the middle of the week not knowing exactly how I arrived so quickly. I've been doing and doing and it seems to have used up some time between then and now at a rapid pace.

I'm good. Rested. I'm ready to start up again. There is a multitude of ideas for things I need to do. If I could only figure out a way to harness the ideas into a comprehensive list or plan. If I could only sort through the priorities and tackle each one in order of importance. They all come at me at full force in the mornings and dwindle to forgotten memories by the afternoon. Or maybe I am the one that dwindles and the tasks linger and hover until the next morning when I can regroup and organize and take them on again.

I've got plenty to do. That's a good thing.
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Get going

I have a full day ahead of me.

I've started my morning as all others with more than a few cups of coffee. That's normal. The more the a few is regular protocol for me. Every day. I woke slightly earlier than usual but it's been productive so far. It seems I have a few things to do and errands to run today before I head out of the city later this afternoon. At least I've already gotten the normal, early morning chores out of the way. I could have another cup of coffee.

A full day, a packed agenda, a lot of things going on. I guess I better start with one thing at a time.
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It could

I couldn't be more rested. I couldn't eat another bite.

We go in circles with the things we say we can't be more of. Of course, I will get up again and be exhausted after a full scale project of this and that. I will get hungry again by the time I get the kitchen back in order and have a well stocked fridge and pantry. Even the act of buying the supplies and creating a menu can have an effect on the resting part before a bite is ever taken.

I couldn't is used for much more than resting and eating. Those are the simple words that no one takes seriously. It's when I couldn't is used in our own minds to hold ourselves back is when it can be a tricky situation. Just as easily as we believe the words I couldn't there should be the same ease we accept the words I could.

It could all go around in circles for a while but if we conscientiously remove the contraction it could make a world of difference.

Couldn't it?
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40 year measure

I am almost on my way to reunion. It's been about 40 years since I've seen or spoken to many of the people that are planning to attend. I can tell there is some excitement building from the social media and emails that I have seen going back and forth in the past few days.

I'm not all that thrilled.

Like I said, I haven't seen many of these people in a very long time. There must have been a lot of things happen or lack of things happen with me and I'm sure with them, too, since the last time we were together. Who are these people? I mean who are they now because there is no way I am expecting them to be the same as before. Things have changed. They must have changed. I have changed or would like to think that. It will be like walking into a party of complete strangers except that I knew them once upon a time. I'm thinking the expectation of me and them being the same as 40 years ago is the measure. How awkward is that.

I've thought about bailing out and not appearing but it seems too dramatic a move to make. It would certainly bring more attention to me than I would like to receive. I guess this is one of those things it's better to go and leave early if that is what needs to be done. It's not like I'll be able to attend when the next 40 years rolls around.
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Change is good

Some routines don't change.

I think I will always and forever start my day by getting up and putting on a pot of coffee. I can't tell you how long ago it started but I don't see it ending any time in the future. It's one of those things that do not change. It will stay a routine of mine. 

There are few things that will not change. Most of everything else will find it's way into some sort of altered state. Things will be modified even if it's ever so slightly until it either no longer exists or has transformed into a different way of doing it.

It's a good thing for this to happen. Change promotes us to think of variations to our routine. It helps us to make modifications to the dreary and become more creative in how we go about our daily lives. It can open the doors to find and appreciate opportunities to do things we claim we want to try. Nothing can hold us back if we are eager to make changes, however small, to find and reach out to achieve new goals.

Change is a component to spark the creative side of our own happiness. We need to be willing to cross out of our familiar to experiment with the new. It becomes an exciting way to convert our routines into the adventures we wish to find.

Well, some routine changes are good. I won't be giving up my coffee.

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Take a moment

I am taking a moment to enjoy my morning. A cup of coffee, a few thoughts rolling around in my head, a full day before me.

I am already trying to subdue the urge to rattle off all the possible tasks I should undertake to use every possible moment in the day. I am already thinking of the things I should have started or completed already and the day has just begun.

I'm not going to do that. I am going to allow myself the time. Gaze out the window. Listen to the birds. Put down the lists.

I have the entire day ahead of me.
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The outlook is good

There are a million reasons to stay positive. You don't realize how much better you feel when you figure out there is more to be grateful for than you realize. You could list the positive effects of being positive if that is how you would like to spend your time. There really are a multitude of good things that happen when you forego the whoa-is-me attitude or the why does everything turn out wrong or sideways way of thinking. It doesn't cost you anything to give it a try.

A few of these multitudes are: good feelings, more relaxed, more resilient, less envious, less illness, improved sleep, increased energy. The list goes on. I'm sure I could find all kinds of bad things if I were to look in the opposite direction but who wants to do that? I don't need that type of thinking and it seems even if I took half of the good things listed it would still be a really good thing.

Maybe I have always been that type of person that would rather be positive. I know it doesn't happen all the time but lately it seems to have become more of something I do or try to do more often. It sure makes things more pleasant and who doesn't want that?
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No news

I don't watch news on television. I unplugged from cable a year ago. I find myself checking websites every other day or so to scan for whatever news I happen upon on any given day. It's almost as time wasting as facebook but I think that's a personal opinion.

I'm not sure why but sites seem to think it's more important to have quantity instead of quality. Just reading some of the ridiculous headlines could have you shaking your head. I wonder why it's become so important to fill pages with stories that mean nothing.

Here are some samples of articles I've really seen.

• Dog Shaming -hilarious pictures of pet shaming
• Never look at figs the same way
• Celebrities - eating lunch, working out, shopping, breaking up
• I gave up ________ for a week and this is what happened

I won't get into the political items because I just can't. I mean, if this random list above is any indication of what there is to read, I give up.

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Tasks take time

I have started a new project and realized there is something good in knowing it will take time to finish. It isn't something I can do quickly and yet I can picture the idea of having it completed in my mind.

There is a certain amount of value from the idea that there is going to be some tedious minutes of work. There will be some monotonous tasks that will need to be performed over and again. It's going to take time but it will all add up to something creative at the end. I've got a feeling it will also contribute to a great feeling of satisfaction. The more work I put into it the more results I will have to show.

The end result will be that I finished a task that I knew wasn't going to be quick and easy. It will also result in the knowledge that I will know what I will change in future projects or how I would like to proceed from that point. I will have the experience of doing it and gained not only the task I took on but learned some really good things about it and what I would do differently along the way.

This is a new project for me. It's going to take some time to complete. I'm already enjoying the process.
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Joy in the moments

I have a tendency to plan. I am the type that will spend time organizing in order to get things straight or to have a blueprint of how my day, week, month might unfold. I will wake in the morning trying to map out the hours of my day.

This is a way for me to take a measure of my priorities and reconcile them at the end of the day. Did I get this done or what didn't get finished? It is a way to have direction in how my day might progress. It can also weigh heavy when those things that were supposed to be completed got pushed to the wayside.

It shouldn't be a measure of incompleteness. I am in the lovely position that I have the ability to be extremely flexible with how I want to spend my time. I can take longer to do the same tasks and find it's completely more enjoyable. I am beginning to think how I could possibly have crammed so many things into an hour before when it is so much more pleasurable to slow the pace and still get to the same destination.

It isn't as important to have a check mark after every task on my list at the end of the day. I'm finding ways to let the day unfold and hold on to more moments during the day. I will still have mornings of lists and plans. Sometimes they work out fine and sometimes the plan is lost. But at the end of the day, I have a much better list of many moments.
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Wrench in the works

There is a simple fact that things are going to change. You don't always get to choose the time frame. Most often it will be when you aren't expecting it and you will need to make adjustments. It can make things exciting if you are in the right state of mind or frustrating if you let the inevitability of these occurrences displace you.

The best thing to do is to make the adjustment and get going again. No doubt as soon as you get sorted out another change will present itself so you have to keep making decisions and moving forward. This is the way it goes and you need to keep on with the business of life.

There is no doubt theses situations can creep up on you at any point in time. They sometimes happen when you think you have things figured out. They happen when you have a routine in place. You can be thinking you've made all the plans and are on your way to getting it done exactly as you thought and that is when the  wrench gets thrown into the works. That saying is pretty descriptive. Everything will come to a screeching halt if such a tool is put in the path of accurately working gears. It doesn't matter how well greased and how smoothly things are running if a hard piece of metal is stuck where it shouldn't be placed. Change is that hard piece of metal.

But these things happen. It's not always easy to see what might be a good reason for it to happen. The size of the issue is entirely up to how you react to the change. You can make it bigger than it needs to be or try to stay relatively calm and figure out what you need to do next. You will need to do that either way so why not take the calmer route and save yourself the unnecessary rise in blood pressure. It's a pretty simple fact and there is nothing you can do to change it.
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And it begins

And so it begins.

It has already begun. It is actually a continuation and there is never a time when it isn't happening. Life goes on whether we decide it needs to pause, stop, or rewind. Pick up your gear and get going. It won't wait for you.

Start now. Figure it out. Get it straight in your head and move. It's a matter of decision and attitude. It can put you in the right frame of mind or allow you to falter. It is all up to you how you want to move on because it will keep going.

And here is the thing most interesting. You don't have to rush. Take some time to do what you do. It's not a race unless you make it. The deadlines will flex with you, expand and contract, to fit properly. The only one that stresses about that is you, caught up in your own mind. Let it go and let it happen. Don't get caught up in the haste. It has already begun and you have not fallen behind. You are exactly in the spot you should be. Now, where do you want to go?

The possibilities are wide open.
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Absence

What happens when four months go by and you don't write? How do you break the silence of no words? When do you find the appropriate time to take up the pen, pencil, or poise your fingers above a computer keyboard to form something that has gone missing? How do you start again after a hush?

You merely begin. There is no right or wrong. You just have to make the smallest of noise. You only need to start typing away and realize there is no need for grand re-introductions. The simplest of words will turn the the nothing into something as this is not the time for flourish. It's only a time to secure a foothold.

Many things can happen in four months. Silence is sometimes the best of cures. There is always and never an appropriate time. You need to hush long enough to be able to start again.
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Right here and now

So what do you say?

The long week is over. I've gone to the store, the bank, gassed up my car, and made it home to get the laundry and dinner started. I say let's jump start this three day weekend! Time to en---joy the time laid out before me. Let me get in a few miles running, a few words put down on documents, a little this and that. What do I say?

No time like the gift we have right now...ahhh, the present.
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Stop, start

I'm feeling a little rushed. It's a hurry up and wait sort of situation. Too much going on here, not enough going on there. It's a stop, start, go, pause, hold, now, later sort of feeling.

It will straighten itself out.
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Hearts and Flowers

It's the day of hearts and flowers, chocolates and wine. It's a Tuesday and pretty normal all around, except we are getting all that rain that has been in the forecast. It helped me sleep all the way up until my alarm buzzed and woke me to get ready for work. 

Yesterday, Jay called me while at the grocery store and said they had all kinds of dipped strawberries, and lobsters and such. He then realized it was almost Valentine's Day. He usually cooks on his days off so I thought I was being clever by asking him what he was planning on making for dinner on that day. He answered, "Hamburger Steak."

Oh, good choice. I'm so clever. 

It's a rainy Tuesday. I'm heading to work but I will have dinner made for me. I didn't have to shop and can just sit and enjoy the evening. I even have some wine if I so choose to open it up. I'm pretty sure it will go with steak.

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Everyday weekend

It was a good weekend. There was nothing out of the ordinary or any great plans that were arranged and completed. It flowed rather well. There was some really good weather and somehow it was a couple of days where everything fell into line in the proper order.

I finished that throw I crocheted out of all the leftover balls of yarn I had lying around. It was a good use of yarn and my time. It's an odd mix of colors that almost looks like it came from Peru but it's done. There was some time used for cleaning up. I even got out there and ran a few miles each morning and even started getting the backyard flower bed cleaned out.

Production started.
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Avoiding the void

I will get out of work an hour early today and get at least that much time to jump start my weekend. I've been trying to figure out the best use of that time so it doesn't go down the great void that can turn into my free afternoon. It's a shame I have to view it that way but the reality and chances of it being gobbled up into a waste of free time is all too recurring.

Did you get all that? I have a tendency to waste a lot of extra free time. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't' subsequently turn around and complain about the lack of time. Aha! Another reality! I'm the culprit, the one to blame, the complainer of all things time related, at least lately.😜

So no complaints this time. I don't need another recap full of time-related themes. I'm not sure how this won't qualify but it's the road I've chosen for today. I have all morning to plot and plan the activities of this afternoon to avoid any voids, to power through any lack of activities, to make a difference in the free hour I have to begin this weekend. Let me check the list I already started in case of this such an emergency. I can work from there.

You know things are getting tough when a free hour has to be plotted.

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Time to recap

I had to go back and recap since the end of January. After reading all my recent posts since that time I can sum them up fairly quickly. Here are the main thoughts:

• January is over and time moved quickly
• I didn't care for the article I read on stillness techniques to quiet all the bombarding thoughts in my head
• We had some bad weather
• I took a day off
• Time passes quickly again
• More about time

I'm not sure the obsession about time lately but it's a recurring theme that is getting tired and overworked. Give it a break, already.

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Snails and Ants

There have been many hours in this week. For some reason they seemed to have stretched in length. I know it's the same, exact amount as any other week but the feeling is I've managed more in the same stretch of time.

I think it's bizarre when you have less to do, fewer tasks to perform, the week can drag to a snails pace making it seem incredibly long. When my tasks increase and I am focused on a project, no matter how difficult or simple, the time speeds to a trail of worker ants along a sidewalk. There is more done in the same amount of time but it flies by.

That's a good thing.
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Look away, focus forward

Do you see what happens when you look away for just a minute?

BOOM! Days pass by and you get so caught up in the day-to-day you don't realize it's gone until you sit again and take account. Where did the last few days of January happen to go? I did a few things, I moved around, I got myself from here to there, and landed just in time to look up to see where I am.

I think that is how it works. Don't look back, that's not the way you are going. Look ahead, go forward, live it now, and all that stuff is the way they say to keep on.

My early morning co-worker retired yesterday. She handed over her laptop and security badge, she cleaned out her desk and said many goodbyes. She won't be coming into work this morning. I bet she erased her alarm from going off.

It will all happen in good time. Just look away for a few more minutes.
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Meet for coffee?

The day starts a little later when you don't have to rush off to work.

I have an appointment at 8:45am this morning so I took the opportunity to give myself a vacation day and a long weekend. I have the day off once I fulfill my scheduled engagement. Can you call a routine doctors appoint an engagement? I just did. And I also used it as a reason for not showing up to work so it sounds good to me.

I might stop off for coffee on my way home. I think that sounds like a fun and quiet way to spend a few moments. You can picture it. Ordering a simple black coffee so you don't have to wait around until someone else mixes it up and calls your name when it's ready. It's an easy order, pay, and find a small table in a less traffic area of the cramped room. Sit and breathe it all in. Pull out your eReader and figure out how the author went from sugar-sweet nice to beasty mean. You have to keep reading to see how it all flows together or check back to see if it's a writing team instead of one author that has different writing styles. But the moment isn't lost and the alone time surrounded by others feels pretty okay on a Friday mid-morning.

I might take that time to figure out the rest of the day or just leave it to chance. Either way I don't have to think about that now.
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Boring Weather

We could talk about the weather.

This happens more in winter than any other time of the year. It's due to the fact that I don't care for it - the colder temperatures, the rain mixed with wind, the overall feeling I might not make it from the house to my car without losing a few fingers to hypothermia. Okay, that might be a little drastic but you get the general idea of how little this season means to me or should I say how much? I sure talk more about it more than any other season but then I hear others giving summer a bad rap. I guess it's all fair play although boring.

Give it a minute, it will change. Be open to the different experiences it can provide. If you know the run in the winter is going to cause all the unpleasantness I could possibly imagine than find another way to go for a run. There are other options. And thinking about the other options can give another perspective on how you look at that same thing. Change the camera angle and you'll get a different picture of the same landscape. It might even get you to think of the same things in a way you hadn't thought about before.

Then it isn't boring.
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Agitated Stillness

What would life be without a thought in your head? Empty-headed. Devoid of thought. Still.

I'm not sure if that sounds all that good. I read an article about finding your stillness. The theme of the article is when things start spinning in our heads we should pause, sit back, settle into what is happening and work with what we are thinking. The article said to concentrate on what was causing the thoughts, access how they are making us feel, calmly let them sit inside us. It suggested to face what we are thinking at that moment and find some gratitude and compassion and then give yourself permission to go back to your day to day.

Yikes. That is a whole lot of thinking. It sounds pretty counter-intuitive to think so much if what you are trying to do is settle down and clear your head. Why not just pause and stop. Why all the self analysis. Do I need to have a list of things I need to think about when I'm thinking so hard I can't stop thinking? How am I supposed to remember the steps and what am I to think about next when I already have too many things to think about.

I thought this pausing, calming, meditation type thing is supposed to be less imposing. It sounds like a lot of work to me and I don't think I can remember all the things I'm supposed to think about when I do it. That could cause even more anxiety over all the things I'm already thinking.

If I want to clear my head I think I will just take a break. I will distract myself with something else, take on a different chore, go for a run. Don't think so hard. That seems to be an easier mantra to remember when there is too much going on in my head.
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Make it bold

Don't blink twice or this month might be over. I've been marking little forward slashes across the numbers of the calendar and it looks like it's picked up a rhythm. Some slashes started out small but as we march along through the month they have become progressively larger and bolder.

Can't do anything about those days with the slashes. Can't look back and don't have the time to wonder what I did with them. I can work with the ones still to come and concentrate on today. I can do what I can with right now and work on it to make those slashes bold today so I'm not thinking about yesterday. Besides.

It will all be filled if you blink...twice.

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Blowing hard

The winds of yesterday have slowed.

No really. It was blowing hard all day yesterday. You could go outside but it was pretty uncomfortable being out there with all the wind. It never let up. I heard it howling it's way in the night before and it stayed the day. It was persistent and kept right on blowing the entire time.

I think it's all done now. I don't hear the whistling and rustling of the tree branches as they bounce and swat against each other. It's a normal Monday morning with no sounds other than what you would expect to hear on a Monday morning. The winds have stilled. Time to pull out the old routine.
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Weekly recap

Here is the lesson from this past week. 

It seems that no matter how well you brainstorm ideas to spend a productive batch of time it will naturally be taken over by life. Some priorities will be pushed aside no matter what you have going on. The key is to ride it on through because different things can happen if you don't try to hold any course too tightly.

There was certainly no pressure on the holiday where extra time was spent doing whatever came to mind. I did fill extra batches of time doing something I hadn't done before. There were some things I might not have wished to do but then, I guess, you have to be careful what you wish for.

I know I've heard that said before. Is planning another form of wishing?

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P, p, and p

I didn't exactly kick-start a new routine. It was slightly altered naturally by having my car in the shop for the entirety of the work week. Parts, promises, and paying utterly astonishing amounts to do about half the work was the frustrating name of the game. The routine changes were the rides I had to arrange and scheduling that needed to be done to get me from point A to point B without the aid of my own vehicle.

It's done. Well, half of it, but the important parts are done. The want-to-have-done's aren't that important and can wait until I've settled myself down and no longer feel as if I've overstepped my welcome on securing a ride.

So now I have my car back and I have the weekend. Everything is back in balance, including the checkbook. It's time to get down to some serious free time activity.
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Less Boredom

Brainstorming. A process of making a list of ideas to solve a problem.

I should be good at this. I make lists all the time! I used to make lists for all the many things I had to do to keep them in priority order. Now it's more a tool so I don't forget to do the things that are important. Either way, I guess I could use a little brainstorming session to come up with some creative ideas of how to break up a mundane routine. I need to come up with a list of things to do after work so I don't continually waste hour blocks of time. And some kind of fun should be involved since it is my after-hours. That shouldn't be too hard since my ideas of fun don't always match up to the normal ideas of fun. Sometimes my fun might be considered work by others but it's all in the perspective. It should be a no brainer and I could have an enormous list of items in no time at all.

I can get into this process. I can solve that problem, err, except it isn't really a problem. Is not knowing what to do with your extra time after your boring routine a problem? It is if you continue to be bored.
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Easy going Holiday

A holiday is a good day to take it easy. It gives you time to think but mostly I slept late, puttered around the house, read a little. I had some breakfast and didn't do very much.

I gathered up all my bits of yarn. It's mostly left-over portions of skeins from other projects that are finished but I had some yarn remaining. Those - I got all those smallish bits of different colored balls of yarn together and started crocheting them all together. It's all random. The colors, the stitches, the order and when I run out of one I tie it off with another and I will continue until they are all gone and I can see some sort of many colored finished product.

I guess I'm tying together a bunch of loose ends.
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Last Weeks Recap

I've gone though my posts for last week and the general consensus seems to be I'm preoccupied with the future. Plan this and plan that...don't take a day off to do nothing because it isn't in the plan. If I'm not careful the things I do now won't add up to the resounding plan I have for the finale that has built itself in my mind if I don't stay on track. That is even if I know it won't turn out as imagined no matter what I do (or plan). I also reused words like overlay and hum-drum. It's been quite a week!

I do think it's a good idea to change things up a little. The routine is a little worn and could use some revitalizing. I'm making efforts to not be so boring. I baked cinnamon rolls from scratch yesterday afternoon and that was something I hadn't done in many years and it wasn't planned. They came out pretty well and it seems I can still bake.

Maybe baking cinnamon rolls is still boring but at least it was different. It made the house smell wonderful and it's a start in a new direction of wherever it's supposed to go or not go. If it can lead me on to something that will spark another idea of different and various things to do in my present instead of waiting around for an unknown future then it's a good thing.

And I'll try to avoid using the words overlay and hum-drum.
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Ideas for Change?

I need to shake things up (again). It's time to change a few routines that can be changed. The time for a few slight adjustments to the mundane routines are in order.

I've become so focused on my crusade to get my business in order that now it's well on its way I've become stagnant. Hum-drum is the name of my game lately and that needs to change even if it is only a slight shift in what I do. How predictable can one person be? How far can I take my adherence to my everyday routines? If someone was watching my daily life they would be able to plot my path with tremendous accuracy since I never waver or shift. You would be able to overlay any day in my life and that day would match up exactly to any other random day. I don't have to worry about anyone charting my days but maybe it's time to shake it up even if just a little. 

That means I need to come up with new ideas on how to change things around and that might take a while. Let me think about it as I go off to my regular routine.

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Get the blinker to work

I finally made that appointment to take my car in for service. It has been suffering from some minor clinks and misses for a while. Nothing that causes anything but a little grief and aggravation but not enough to make any real difference. The service will be mostly time consuming because it will mean pulling out the dash to get to the radio and a/c controls that don't seem to do what they are meant to do. I also need the blinker to actually stop after I make a turn and not wait for me to manually stop it. I've gotten used to doing it but I'd rather get the car back up to it's regular standards of convenience again.

I don't know what caused me to wait so long to finally call to bring it in but it's all marked in the books for Tuesday morning. I've made all the arrangements. I guess I was going back and forth about whether I should keep the car or make a change at this point. I'm taking all these decisions too much to heart as if they will foil everything if I make the wrong move. It won't but somehow making an appointment for service on the car was something I needed to ponder. Not really.

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Predicting the Future

My mind was wandering off into some future that might never happen. I'm sure some of the parameters might be slightly accurate but there isn't any way thinking off into a very distant future can be any where near accurate the way it is imagined. The area might be the same, the walls, the furnishings but to try to place what the situation will be and how others will act in that timeframe is no way predictable.

It's a wonder all these goals and resolutions are put into place year after year by so many that haven't been able to do these things when they try over and again. What's the deal with continually trying to do something that continually doesn't work. Is the blame with the goal or resolution or the person that keeps attempting the same thing the same way.

When my mind was wandering it had nothing to do with goals and resolutions. It's funny how it turned into that conversation at all. It was an easy way to make another point about trying to predict how things will be when you have not the slightest idea. The future is out there and I keep trying to pinpoint it. No go. Not gonna happen. Stay right here where you are today, do what you can, and the future will come when you are ready or not.
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Empty complaints

It's hard to believe while in the middle of everyday routines that things could be so good. While I stumble through the hum-drum daily get up and follow all the familiar steps that are retraced day after day it's not easy to remember how very good things have turned out. There isn't really a complaint that could be spoken that would carry any weight due to the mere lack of substance it could contain. It's empty. An empty complaint.

I've actually worried about when to take my car in for service. This day or that. When and what time. What would work out the best. Now, you know things have gotten too good when you are not worried about what might be wrong with the car or how much it will take to fix or what that will mean as far as keeping or getting a new. The only worry is when to take it in?

Empty complaints. 

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Fun over Fear

It turns out I somehow missed yesterday. I must have been in massive hibernation because it was one day I can say was a blank, a miss, a didn't take the time to even try to do a thing day. Nothing was accomplished, nothing could be checked off any list, and there isn't any sign of anything happening other than, well, nothing. Is this what taking a day off might really mean?

Depending on what article of fake news you would like to read, what happened could be observed as the absolute wrong way to observe the new year and all the wonderful things you think you need to change about yourself. Those improvements won't happen unless you pay stringent attention to the rules. There is no such thing as a hibernation day, even if it falls on a Sunday and is one of the coldest day of the year. You must stick to the plan!

It might help in these articles if they were at least credible. You could overlay each one, all written by different experts, and see they are all the same. Not one offers anything different or creative. They are all stoked with keywords such as: fear. They like to use that one. It seems if they can evoke that feeling in anyone it can drive motivation or psychotherapy. I think they are going for the last option but mostly they don't tell you anything except that if you want to change to got to figure out why. Well, I'm not sure they say that because if they did, no one would read any of their articles because then you could figured out the best way to get yourself to do anything. Once you figure out why, you have all the motivation you need even if the reason is to have more fun.

I had some fun yesterday while in hibernation all day. I didn't read or think or miss a single thing.
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Then it was cold

The cold weather blew in the way it was predicted. It's January and there will be no escaping a few of these chilling days when the weather buts the gotcha on me. I'm not a cold weather person.The phrase, I don't care for it, is putting it mildly. I don't like the tingly feeling running up my arms or the numb fingers as the blood seems to disappear from my fingers. I don't care for the dry throat I experience when I'm running or especially the constant drip of my nose. What am I supposed to do with that drip. It's disgusting aside from being uncomfortable as the breeze chaps my face.

But the dipping cold is here for the entire weekend. I will need to take myself to the gym to get that run done. It won't be a passing thought if I don't dwell and make it really worse that it is. It isn't that bad and besides, what could be better than a weekend at home.
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Be Reasonable

When lost items are turned in at work, we send emails before giving it over to security. Yesterday a note went out that a shirt had been found in the parking garage. Not long after that a note that a make-up bag with eye drops and floss was found. These are ordinary items that would not be ordinarily misplaced if that person wasn't taking on a different routine. A shirt or makeup bag lost might mean someone is using the gym and packed these otherwise left-at-home items. A new routine or plan put into place while rushing to get that plan done may have led to losing certain items.

My last post was about rushing. I wrote it fast because I thought I needed to hurry and put something down. I had only a mere 4 minutes remaining before I needed to leave for work. Four minutes was all the time I thought I had to get it done. It wasn't enough time and even though I managed, it certainly wasn't enough time to decide I needed an adjustment to my plan about things I was doing. Not yet anyway and not after so brief and forced a moment.

Here is an opportunity to give myself and those poor people at work losing shirts and floss a break from all the rushing. This is not a four minute sprint into every new thing that needs to get done. The only adjustment needed so far is a little more thought in how speedy I really need to be to get to my objectives. It can be slowed down a bit. There will be time to get it done and I know it's going to be more than four minutes.

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Adjustments in Order

Rush...seems to be the name of the game.

Hurry and wait until you can get to the next thing. I can't do that now because I need to be there. I can't work on this because, well, I need to work on that. Try to rearrange the times and you find yourself not in the mood at that time. Am I ever in the mood? Or is it a ploy to procrastinate something that doesn't want to be worked on or merely being tired from having to rush and wait until it fits into the plan.

Time to rearrange the plan.
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Mini-Steps

It's been a great time off with the holidays but it's time to return to the routine of work. I managed to take advantage of my last free day yesterday to take down all the holiday decorations and get the house back in regular order. The floors are clean and so is the kitchen and refrigerator. Laundry is all folded and put away which left me with the afternoon to head and out enjoy the 75 degree weather with a 4 miles run in the neighborhood.

I will be re-reading one of my completed short stories. It is about 18000 words and I want to start editing so I will need to make notes. It will take a fresh perspective and I already have some ideas how to change up the first few pages. Then I can delve into all the chapters. I will see how much I can accomplish in the next few days. I will need to see what I think after I've completed the reading and then brainstorm how to pull it apart and put it back together. New outlines will be on the agenda, I'm sure, to keep myself on track but that might be next week.

We shall see...mini-steps being taken here.
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Get Specific

I wrote my short list. I figured out some mini-steps. Good start.

Now I need to take a look and see when I will carry these out. What will be the actual time of day I will take a mini-step. What days of the week is best to do it? I think smaller is better. I have more times on the weekend but a larger chunk that is missed is harder to make up than small bits during the week when I have less time. Spread it out. Make it small and keep it simple. I'm not going for any olympic effort but just a small adjustment.

I'm figuring it out. I'm writing specifics down. I can see how they work out after this week. I can keep doing something small for a week. It won't be that hard, it won't take much time, and it will be fun. It will be something to look forward to doing.

Can I do it? Will I?
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A Fun Year

So what if I was to say that 2017 is going to be amazing!

Doesn't that make you feel great even if it's only for an instant before you turn on your skepticism? Admit that reading that first sentence gave you a moment of optimism. It's affirmative and positive, confident and encouraging. Those are good things. So don't turn on the negative just yet. This year is going to be amazing.

I know because I am not stopping with a statement. It will not only be a sentence I happened to write at the beginning of a new year. It will be a starting point, a place to instigate and initiate the things that will turn this year into whatever I decide to make of it and why wouldn't I want it to be amazing.

How do I know this? Simply because I can plan and decide. The first thing to do is to simply decide what you want to do. Think about it, make a short list, write it down. Just put whatever you think about and don't worry about whether they are do-able or not. Look at what you have and then break each item down into small steps of how you might be able to get them done. Don't make it hard. These should be mini-steps to keep it fun. You are wanting to do these things so they should be enjoyable.

Decide to proceed with your mini-steps. Try them out. See how they work. Decide when you will revisit your list. Decide what is working and what needs to change in order to make it work better. Stay with it. Remember it's suppose to be fun.

What if a few or even one of these things worked. Wouldn't that make you happy? You would be pleased, glad, and even cheerful. Let that moment stay with you. It's encouraging, and upbeat and can make other things seem brighter or less disagreeable.

Isn't that amazing? You are worth a few minutes to think about what you want. It could be fun.
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