Good balances

I made a list. I checked it at least twice. I did a couple of things that were on the list and then started another from the things I didn't. I juggled money from one account to another, I paid a couple of bills, I spent the smallest amount of money yesterday and still have some plans for spending more today that fits within all the parameters I've set. It sounds like I have some solid plans, lists, and ways to get my weekend going to be more productive.

It helped to have yesterday off from work. I actually felt, for once in a long time, I was able to balance the work with the leisure. A doctor's appointment in the morning, a short break, and then to the gym for almost an hour and a half and 8 miles on the treadmill. When I was done I refilled my water bottle and a man asked how long I had gone. When I told him eight miles, he replied, "I can't walk 8 miles." I wanted to tell him he could. You work up to it, but I refrained. I didn't think he was all that interested in hearing work-out suggestions. I didn't think anyone had noticed me on the machine but I won't feel bad about using it since there were plenty machines that were open to use.

I'm just about ready to head out to the gym again. I'll get it done early and start up the other things I have in mind to do today. I think it will turn out to be another nice balance. I'm zooming through a couple of books I've been reading and I have some new yarn to crochet for some downtime while still doing something. I even have thoughts for tonight's dinner. Remind me to take the fish out of the fridge or, never mind,  I can put in on my list.
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Weather...

Today is my Friday since I am taking tomorrow off. I have an appointment in the morning and then will be free for another extended weekend. I wish the weather...

I have minimum  things lined up to get done. The biggest will be the accounting for the shop so I can get out taxes completed. It's a big chore but this might be the best time to do it since the weather...

A few other things are on my list but mostly it will be some down time. I mean, what else am I supposed to do except hibernate with all that is going on...with the weather.
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Bad weather

It was freezing all day at work. I wasn't the only one feeling that the heat might have been left off and everyone around me continued to wear their jackets as they worked. The weather outside went from cold to colder, and then it started raining, to make matters worse. Damp, cold, and rainy. Winter has me surrounded.

I made the decision I would have to pack myself off to the gym for every run for the next month or months until this weather passed. I couldn't depend on getting myself outside when the afternoon might prove a little warmer. I've tried a couple of times and although the temperatures might have been mild, the wind coming at me is chilling and snot running out my nose isn't desirable. I think I might need to throw away a couple of long-sleeved shirts due to the amount of grossness on the wrists from constant wiping.

I skipped a run yesterday just because of the weather. I ate just because of the weather. I huddled in my room and acting like it was some sort of rebellion against nature. I was fully committed to being bad and rage against something that is utterly ridiculous, beyond my control, and is routine for this time of year.

I'm better now. I will let whatever silliness I played out yesterday stay in the past. Move along. One run missed will not throw everything out of kilter and I can go back to my plan. If I need to go to the gym, I will. That is why a treadmill was invented and the entire $10.83 a month I pay is well invested considering they store, upgrade, and have it available to me anytime I need to use it.

They keep it inside were I don't have to worry about headwinds or whether or not I can keep my long-sleeved running shirts.
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Dragging

The shortest work weeks seem to take the longest. They start up fresh and quick and slow to a mundane drag. Maybe it's the anticipation and energy of catching up that first day that makes me promptly eliminate all and every bit of work that needs to be done. I throw myself into hyper-speed and get all the things that seem to have piled up done in a nano second of time. It leaves me in the following days wondering why I was in such a rush to finish. What to do, what to do.

Then after a few days of keeping myself occupied with only a small ration of work, I'm more exhausted than if I had really gotten a lot done. No wonder I'm dragging by the end of the week.
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Dazed

I feel like I'm sleep walking today. It's not that I feel tired or sluggish but more as if I am in some kind of daze. It's like the fog that has been out the last two mornings has invaded my space and I've absorbed it. I'm just gliding through the morning in a hazy bubble. I can't seem to concentrate and don't really want to do that anyway.

Sounds like I need a break. I should get up and take a walk around. The problem is I don't really have any interest at the moment since I'm consumed in this fuzzy stew. Get out, shake it off, move, but no, let's just sit and stare into space without a care. It might be a long day if I was paying any attention.
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No doorbell

Mr. L was at my house watching a show on television. His older brother was at the computer a little ways away and I was in the kitchen for a few minutes. I thought I heard the doorbell ring but it wasn't loud enough to be the actual doorbell so I decided to go over to the room the boys were in. As I stood just outside the room, I asked Mr. L, "Was that doorbell on the T.V.?"

This little four year old, that was caught up in his show, got up from the couch. He walked over to the television and calmly looked behind it. He turned toward me and said, "No. There isn't a doorbell on the T.V."
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Think a little more

There are two full weeks left to January and I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to change it up to make it more interesting. Actually, I'm thinking I need to make it more productive but that sounds like work. I'll have to give it more thought.
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Cold and Windy

I'm waking up to some chilly temperatures. I think I was in the middle of my run yesterday when this cold front blew into town. The blustery wind didn't do anything for my pace especially when I was going uphill and the wind was hitting me full on the front. I won't say I didn't think of turning around but I didn't. I kept it up and can tuck that one away for posterity.

Today looks like it will be cold. It's January. But it's also another day off and I have a new book I started and I will figure out some good hot food for later and take it as it comes. Nice.
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Knocked Out

It was a rousing game of Robot Champions. Mr. L came to life slugging it out with bigger, shinier robots than his mismatched, patched together blue bot. It didn't stop him from stepping up and punching away until it was declared a K.O! The shiny guy fell and one dull robot arm shot straight up in the air as it was announced, "You Win!"

The video game he played on my tablet was fun. I pushed a couple of buttons myself to help along on one game. He would get so excited when he won and thoroughly trashed when the other robot got him. It was more fun to watch him than the game but isn't that the case for everything and everyone? At least, I would rather watch the person.

It wasn't the only thing we did last night. There was plenty of playing catch. For some reason the small stuffed Snoopy dog does well for -on the bed throw to each other- games. You get to cheer when someone actually catches it. It adds to the excitement and it has almost the same effect as that video voice announcing,You Win!

Roast beef sandwiches, potatoes, fruit snacks, doritos, and cranberry juice were interspersed throughout the evening. You have to keep your energy level up for all the activities. That is until you just can't hold out any longer and the blankie is brought out and the eyes get heavy. That's when I grab my book and it isn't much longer until Dad and Mom show up to gather the sleeping champion home.

How was your Friday night?
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No waiting

I have my three day weekend already getting under way. I put my scheduled three mile run behind me right after leaving work for the day. My smelly running gear is tumbling in the washer and I am fresh out of the shower ready for the beginning of some time off.

Here we are at the middle of January 2016. Hello the fifteenth, how are 'ya! I'm going to take advantage of the free time coming up with a lot of work and leisure or leisure and work, not all in that order. There may be more leisure and leisure but that is what it's all about anyway and nobody is complaining. Don't let me keep you, I'm already on my way.
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Stick to plan

There was no run yesterday but it wasn't really on the schedule for yesterday anyway. I came home after work a little less energized than I was in the morning. That happens. I decided not to get ahead on my scheduled runs and stick to the plan instead. The plan was to take yesterday off and back at it today with a 3 miler.

I'll get out of work a little earlier this afternoon and head out for that easy run. The temperatures are supposed to be even better than the past two days. That is something to look forward to. That and the three day weekend coming up! Time for everything and everything in time.
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Today not tomorrow

I clipped out my five miler yesterday afternoon. Outside. It was well worth the effort. The weather in the afternoon looks like it will hold out well for the next few days. I'm feeling good enough to run my scheduled 3 miles today instead of Friday so we will see. That puts me right on schedule so far but it's only week three. Then again, I'm not looking too far ahead because I'm here, not there. Yet. Concentrate on today.

The forecast today looks good. I'm feeling like an easy three miles after work in this weather is just the ticket. If it holds out this well, I might run another three on Friday. But that can hold until then,
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Not official this week

I was going to sign up for a 10K on Saturday but it was a distance away and the weather is trippin' cold. I rationalized I did one official race this month (1/1/16 - Cobweb Chaser 5K) and the combination didn't work as well for this one coming up. 

I have a 5 mile run scheduled for this afternoon and I'm bouncing back and forth on whether it will be outside in the neighborhood or at the gym. I'm leaning toward outside but either way I will run 5 miles and it won't be inside my own house (like last week). I have another short 3 miles on either Thursday or Friday and then 10K (6 miles) for Saturday. So far so good. I'll figure out the official runs soon enough.

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Get out of jail free

If I had one bad day last week it only lasted that one day. It is already gone and forgotten as far as a measure for anything that has currently been happening. It was merely a bad habit recognized and then past over. It was nothing more than losing one turn as the game played on. And the game is still on.

The great things about old habits when you are truly making the effort to stop them, is that you can recognize them for what they are. Oh, look, a bad habit. I know what happens when I join that circle, I'll make another choice instead. It takes some practice because it is easy to join in to something you've been doing all along. That pattern is too recognizable and comfortable. Sure, you don't particularly like the results but it's easy. You fall into the same groove that you've walked over and over so many times you don't realize it's a rut you've created. And, hey, wake up, you don't like that rut. The only way to get out is to make an effort to jump out. You'll have to remind yourself you are getting caught up in the old rut and stop as soon as you realize it. Then the hard part. Do it differently. Don't cling to the pattern that is recognizable and comfortable. Immediately, pull out your get out of jail free card. Because that what it is. It's jail. That old familiar habit is jail when you know the results of doing it is bringing you down.

You will soon realize you have a never ending supply of those free cards once you start using them. You just need to recognize when to pull them out.
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One bad apple

If my week one went well, yesterday I shot it all to smithereens. Can you actually blow an entire week with one day? That is what it felt like. The longer the day went on and the less I was doing, the more it felt like the entire week of productivity swirled down the drain.

Get over yourself. The only way that could be true is if you continue with that action or lack of. So you had a bad day. So you didn't do the to-do's. So you were the lazy, sit and zombie yourself all afternoon instead of getting up and sticking-to-the-plan person you should have been. Pfft. It's over. Move on. How did that make you feel? Is it better than if you did one thing on the list?

The answer of course, is no. Getting one or two of the other things done yesterday would have had a much more positive effect. The key is to get over it. You already know the result isn't what you want, so do the things that will give you the result.

There is no major upheaval here unless you make it that way. Go back to what it is you want to do and take a step toward it. It isn't all or nothing. It's still that adventure toward the goal. It would be too easy a goal if you didn't stumble at some point. One bad day doesn't ruin the entire process unless you keep reliving the bad day.
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Week one done

How to improve were the buzz words a week ago. A good portion of the population was putting some thought into what they needed to do to change their bad habits and everything needed to start with the timing of the new calendar year. There was a flurry of articles concerning weight, health, and nutrition. Get your plan, start your charts, make those improvements, now is the time.

It's been a week since the brand, spanking new 2016 rolled in. What has happened during that week? Is it time to reminiscence about what took place and what we need to do for the future? It's not a bad idea. Taking a closer look can keep you on track because it can help keep you focused on the important things. It should come with the warning that it can't turn into a beat-up session where you take issue with things that didn't work or didn't get done. There is no progress in that. This process must stay objective.

For my one week report I can say:

• Ran a 5K on 1/1/16 and (surprisingly) came in third in my age group. (Didn't see that one coming).
• Started and kept to my second week of run training (See, everything doesn't start with the New Year-I started before)
• Wrote up a daily blog post
• Started exercise one of my Plot Whisperer workbook.

Not too shabby for one week but then it IS the first week and that always goes well, right? So what now? Keep it up. Look for another race to sign up (yikes! not sure why that is so scary now). Keep going with the run training, write some more, and smile about it. I think the most important thing to remember about this entire How to improve idea is it takes a lot of consistent patience. Make it count, enjoy the moments, and yeah, get it done.

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Fast but unamazing

My three mile run on the treadmill yesterday afternoon flashed by at an incredibly fast pace. That is in comparison to the laughable experience of the day before where I managed a 5 mile run, in my home, without a treadmill. It was mostly running in place in front of the television with spurts of actual movement during commercials. Who does that?

I was trying to avoid opting out of running completely. I knew there was no way I was running outdoors due to the poor weather. I wasn't looking forward to going to the gym. I was leaning heavily toward skipping the run. My solution was to stay in the comfort of my own home but still try for some kind of running. I don't know where these ideas come from but my tracker was able to let me know when I reached 5 miles while running in place and actually running through the house during commercials. It took forever, but I got what I wanted. It made yesterdays 3 miles on the treadmill a breeze. There is something to be said about forward motion.

I'm not sure it was such an amazing idea but the thought of having a group of people running in place at my house is funnier than Woody Allen. Can you imagine the chaos when the commercials came on and everyone headed out into the rest of the house, dodging kitchen chairs, living room tables, and each other? Can you imagine Jay coming home during this run and asking what the heck is going on? He would have said the same thing if he caught me doing it all alone. The day I did that. It seems like fiction but it isn't. It was a long, slow, kinda crazy way to run 5 miles but I got it done.

Yesterdays three miles on the treadmill was fast, but much less interesting.
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Show up

I read somewhere that Woody Allen once said. "Ninety percent of success is showing up." I wasn't trying to find out how to be successful and I'm not sure I'd take advice from Woody Allen although he can be humorous. I do think being funny is important. It's hard to be happy if you're goal is to keep a straight, serious face all the time. You need to practice the art of smiling and if there is someone that can help do that for you, it's a plus.

Sometimes you need to rely on yourself. I was struggling with myself yesterday. I had a 5 miler scheduled. I was freezing all afternoon at work. The outside weather was horrendous. I was visualizing my options dwindling from running outside to facing the use of the treadmill at the gym. I could tell my mind was wanting to figure out how to recalculate when to run.

I knew when to run. It had to be that day. It's a schedule with little room for variation and let's face it, I'm only on week two. Mess up already? But my mind was giving it a rethink. Options: 1) Run outside-nope. 2) Run at gym-eehh. 3) Don't run-looking better. Option three was coming at me full-force. Then I thought again. If option 3) Don't run was fitting into place, than anything would be better than option 3.

I knew I recorded an hour long show on my DVR I hadn't watched yet. What if I ran at home while watching the show with all commercials? That would be an hour. And no, I don't have a treadmill but running in place is something, right? It would be the anything is better than option 3, right?

It's what I did. It took me an hour 15 minutes to get my 5 miles. You just can't get any pace speeds running in place. I gained a lot of ground during commercials when I would actually run through the house. Thankfully, there wasn't anyone else home, and that last half mile sped away as I actually moved from bedroom to kitchen to lapping the living room into the den and back and then back again. Commercials were my life savers because I got to actually move instead of kicking up my knees with no forward motion.

I will go to the gym today to run my scheduled 3 miler. It will be a breeze and I bet my pace will be awesome. It's ridiculous to run in place for 5 miles but I can say I got it done. You have to get outside your mental box sometimes to realize the other options aren't so bad. And I think I was at least ninety percent successful since I found a funny way to show up. I'm counting it.
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Get to work

I've dived back into the pool of the regular job after an especially long and nice vacation. It isn't as bad as it could have been since it was a break for many and not only me. At least I showed up, which has to be tough on people who managed to contract some illness over the holiday and remain sick even when the calendar tells them it's time to return.

I guess I'm the lucky one since I have not had that bad luck befall me. I've managed to stay happy and healthy all through the season. I've managed to enjoy the entire time off. Now it's time to re-figure my routine to make the things I want to do after work. I know when my committed time is spent at my daily job and need to arrange all the other things I want to do around it. I'm not taking it on as a long, broad plan but merely an almost day to day decision. It's also about staying open to the possibilities of the moment and not spending too much time making the decisions.

So it's off to work I go with plans for after and after that. Let's see how it all goes.
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Let's learn

We've counted down, looked to the past, figured out the new and there is no stopping what we can get done. We are bounding toward that next great resolution, the illusive goal, that thing we need to reach that will give us our sense of pride, accomplishment, and confidence.

Hold up. That seems like a lot of pressure. Maybe we can ease down the throttle of impending doom that will spring out of this heightened sense of go out and conquer. Let's scale back the enthusiasm for all the resolutions, the goals, and all those things out there we reach for, so we can think about them in a more realistic way. What if we trim off the jittery energy, that is sure to fizzle and burn off quickly, and replace it with the pride, accomplishment, and confidence we already possess.

Yes. There are things we want to get done. I agree. But we need to approach them from the direction of learning. It's not do or die. It's not fight or flee. It isn't succeed or fail. Eliminate the idea of failing completely. If you fail, you stop. That's it. Kaput. No more. Bring on the sorrow, the mourners, the dashed dreams that will never be realized.

Step out of the stigma of failing and into the idea of what you can learn about reaching the ultimate end. Every time you try, you learn something you can apply to make the choices on how to proceed. It builds you up. It adds more to what you know and experience. It keeps you going even when mistakes are made because you can learn from those mistakes. I remind myself of what I've already laid out:

• Try with real intent
• Make a true effort
• Stay in the now, the past comes soon enough
• Don't worry about the future, it will happen anyway

Learn a little along the way and live a lot. It's not win or lose. It's all good.

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Planned moments

The second day of the New Year has started out cold and rainy. It should stay this way all day if you believe the weather casters. You can let their predictions rule your life or not. I say not since I have some things I want to do today and not all of them involve staying indoors.

I have a 4 mile run set for today. I've made use of the gym treadmill more than a few times in the past two weeks. I think I've made my peace with the thought that it works when I can't face the elements, like today. It's better to do than not to do so I will.

I need to stop at the grocery store. It's better I get the few items I need now instead of waiting until the real week starts up again. I have the time and I always like to be prepared. It's a whole comfort thing. Or is it control? It's a toss-up.

A little laundry, a little clean up, a little put away the holiday decorations and give the kitchen a good wipe down is all in store. It seems I have priorities all in a row and then I should/will have time to write. Ah, yes, that seems to have landed last on the list, yet again. I need to do something about the arrangement of those priorities even if it's only in the way I think. That isn't last and won't be squeezed in 'if I feel like it.' I will mark out a specific time today and put it in proper priority.

I've had my coffee. I have my plan. I still have the next two days off. What's up for this moment? Let's get started.
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Perfect start

The first day of the year has almost come to an end after an absolutely perfect New Years Eve. That evening we fried our oysters, made an impromptu batch of fresh pasta, and cheered all our good fortune. We lit some fireworks and rang it all in with glee.  Prior to the lovely evening I was taken to lunch by Sonny, Mr L, and the Big Boy. The last day of the year was jammed packed. I told you it was perfect.

Today, the first day of 2016, started out cold and I was determined not to change my mind about attending the 5K I signed up to run. I couldn't not sign up when I found this race. It was on the first day of the new year, it didn't start until 10:00 am, and it would take place at one of my favorite places to run. How could I not sign up? So I did and the morning dawned.

I made sure I was going. I had told more than a few people about it but I was really nervous. I couldn't figure out why unless it was because it was cold and people would know if I wimped out and ditched the race. I went and knew I would run and be done.

I was thinking I was crazy for signing up, insane for showing up. When it was all over, I checked the board for my pace and thought I lost my mind. I came in third in my age category. Huh. Wow. Cool.

After all the internal whining I was kind of badass. I didn't think that because I placed in the race but because I showed up. It would have been much easier to skip out. I didn't. I got all nervous for no reason and drove myself over there and stood and shivered for a while and ran a race. I went, and now I have started this first day of the very new year in a perfect way.

Isn't that badass.
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