Improved girl of 60

Here it is.

The countdown is about over and the last day of the year has rolled itself out. The morning has broken through many clouds to herald out the old and bring in the new. I guess I'm the old but the new number attached to me is new. Let's see how well I can fit into this new number.

Goals and resolutions are the topic of the day and I guess I would be lying if I said they haven't floated through my thoughts. I've been pretty sketchy the past couple of years about setting anything too firmly into my agenda. I've been the one that has been wishy-washy about speaking up, even if it was to myself, about what I wanted to work towards. I can still be pretty indecisive about a lot of things. Which way to go or think or what to do? It can seem more daunting than it is.

I guess if there was a resolution to be made on this last day of the old year and the new age coming to me is to stop and do.

Here are my points for the new improved girl of sixty.

• Try with real intent
• Make a true effort
• Stay in the now, because the past comes too soon
• Don't worry about the future, it will happen anyway

So, I don't know that I've gotten any wiser but I can still try. The getting older part gives me the opportunity.

And I wish for everyone to have a Happy New Year as we fold up the old.

TT

You are here

Another year winding down, spiraling toward the end. In only a couple of days we will have gotten through another calendar year of ups, downs, and all that goes in between. It's supposed to be the time you pull out your memory books and take a walk backwards.

I don't want to do that. I know and remember enough of what happened all year to not feel the need to take the time now to rehash it all. I'm at the spot I am at. Whatever happened to get me here is all done. I don't need to wax poetic about all the things that has already gone on throughout the entire calendar of days and weeks.

I am here. It's like the big, red, dot on a map. Get your bearings, recognize your location, and get moving. We can't predict what is up ahead any more or less than we could last week or yesterday and yet we made it here, to the very spot we are now. So take a brief look around and go.
TT

A helping of feelings

I've taken this entire week off from work. I'm not sure what I expected to do with all the time I have but after one day I wasn't expected to be so tired. I'm also working on a really bad attitude since the weather caught up with the day on the calendar. Winter has raised it's ugly head as it does this time of year, every year, as expected. I'm not sure why I am always surprised when this happens. I'm not sure why I always get indignant and act like it's such the unexpected intrusion on my life. If this was a romantic comedy I guess my line would be, "but I can't help how I feel!" 

Well, get over your dramatic self. Where is your gratitude? How many different things can you count that are just about over-the-top awesome in your life? I can't count for you but I know, and not to brag, but I have many more that I should be placing up at the top of my use of energies list. Why wouldn't I do that? 

Let's stop putting all the great energies into the things that make us feel the worst. Stop making the bad things that spring to mind the priority. There must be a trick to push those negatives aside to focus on the totally wonderfulness we have at this moment. The whiny girl in the romantic comedy needs to grow up. Yes, you can help how you feel. Now that you've acknowledged it, put those wasted energies somewhere better. Make use of them somewhere that isn't dwelling on the downside of what might be going on. Once you move on you won't be thinking about it so much.

Then, I bet, you'll feel at lot warmer and a little bit less tired.

TT

Make lemonade

This morning the weather has turned. It's a little bleak, a little cold, and a little wet. There isn't anything to the extreme about it except it is a sharp contrast to the day it was yesterday. Don't let it hold you back. Don't waste the time comparing what was, to what is now. Stay in the right here and figure out the best possible way to go forward. Don't put it off.

It's the only time you'll have this moment.
TT

That then this

The day after Christmas and all through the house. It was quiet again the way it was before but not in between. Family, food, and festivities were in no short order in that time when the house was full and so were our stomachs.

Christmas meals have come and gone and this one was one for the history books. Our history books, maybe, but the books just the same. Artichoke dip with homemade chips was beyond the beyond and you can't eat just one. Nothing could have surpassed the crab cakes. Nothing at all in any time or space. It was like being in crab cake heaven it was so very good. Can you imagine a place of heavenly crab cakes? This was it. The main dish left no one unsatisfied. The spinach/arugula salad with goat cheese, bacon, and walnuts. Add the lemon vinaigrette and call it a day except, wait, there is more. Roasted new potatoes, prime rib, and gravy was perfection. And how about the crab stuffed shrimp? Why do you even ask when it was so good. All together on one plate was the best meal we could have had on such a day. We didn't end it there but took it to the next level with the chocolate swirl cheesecake with fresh raspberry red wine reduction sauce. What a way to end a meal, a day, a celebration.
       

So what do you do the day after the best day? You take that quiet day and spend a portion in another quiet area. You go to enjoy the outside, the breeze, and stretch the legs on a hike.
What could be better than that and then this?
TT

Tamales for Eve

It's Christmas morning but all quiet in the house. For now. It will be filled soon and I couldn't ask for more.

Christmas Eve went off beautifully. Tamales were on the menu because, well, you do those things. It wasn't a huge amount and it didn't take long. Most of the prep was done beforehand so it was a matter of spreading, stuffing, and steaming. It wasn't a lot of work but it was tradition.
Now onward to the main feast. The menu day should include:

Spinach/Arugula Salad with Goat Cheese and Walnuts

Lemon Vinaigrette

Artichoke Dip with Chips

Crab Cakes

Mini-Tarts with Brie and Bacon

Prime Rib Roast

Crab Stuffed Shrimp

Roasted New Potatoes and Carrots

Chocolate Swirled Cheesecake with

Fresh Raspberry Reduced Wine Sauce

I'm taking a short break now but will be getting to work in a moment. 

TT

'Tis the season

Christmas Eve - December 24th, 2015.

Here it is. This is when it all starts to come together. I work a half day today and when I leave here I will make one last stop to the grocery store. I have a list of all the things that need to be picked up to complete and round out our menu from Christmas dinner. That will be it.

This afternoon, depending on the time I have prior to attending the children's mass at 5:00pm, I might bake the cheesecake. If I don't do that today, it will be baked first thing tomorrow morning. Tonight after mass I will tackle homemade tamales. The pork roast is cooked and the chile sauce is ready. It will be a simple task of putting the masa and filling together and steaming them to perfection. I'm only making 5 lbs of masa so it won't be a long, drawn out process. We don't need mountains of tamales, just enough - like 5 lbs worth.

It's Christmas Eve. Let's track Santa. Let's get together and fill each other with the joy and happiness of the season. It's here.
TT

Naked no more

There have been a few things that have been lingering for a while without being completed. One of those things was getting the tree decorated. It might be considered one of the top things that usually is first to get done, yet this year it's been one of the last. The poor tree has been sitting there stark naked for over a week. If it didn't already come with sparking white lights it would be a total green branch. Not so anymore. I managed to get the tree decorated and all the gifts wrapped. It looks more like a holiday. It feels more like a holiday. Who can deny a little thing like this tradition would make a difference and make the biggest impact. It really is the small things at times.


TT

And Batman cake

I didn't get a chance to say what a great success Mr. L's fourth birthday turned out to be. We thought we might struggle over a batman cake but with a little thought and some food coloring it worked out. It wasn't too hard to turn the simply delicious chocolate cake into a the icon it represented. Look here and see for yourself.
  You take a little blue, yellow, black and mix it into white frosting and voila! Batman. Selma did the entire cake. I watched. And the day of the party is was a really moist and delicious cake. The birthday boy was very excited.

I have to also mention that Selma can also make some mean-good pizza dough. Since Mr. L requested pizza for his birthday dinner, it was pizza and Selma seems to have a great knack for baking. Man, of man, her crust held up better than some I've eaten anywhere else. Better. Yes. And all that homemade goodness made a great party.
Happy Birthday, Mister four year old.
TT

Coming soon

Who do I think I'm fooling with this shut down, be quiet nonsense? Who has time for that. I certainly don't seem to be doing well in the sit still category. It's time to get up, put up, get it done, now! This is the final week. It's the final countdown to all the explosive time when it is all said and done. Then everyone will be smiling, and relaxing, and very happy. It will be seamless and no one will know there is a lick of planning or thinking or moving to get it all in place at the right time.

It might not sound that great with all the work, but that's the way I like it. I don't mind the planning, the getting it done and all that comes with it if the end result is that relaxed feeling of comfort. It's all worth it in the end. And I have to admit, I like all the preparations to get there.

A few more things to straighten out and plan but it's all coming soon.
TT

Do nothing

I am taking a space of time to be quiet. Don't move. Don't get up. Stop thinking you can be doing this thing or that thing. The thing that needs to be done right now is nothing.

It's hard to think there should be time for quiet. I like to move, to get things done, to not leave things unfinished. It's all about getting it done and done well. That can lead to some hectic times and this has been one (more more than one). It's been going on a while.

So right now it's time to shut down and be still. Quietly.
TT

Tree and cake

Another day and I'm off and running before the energy levels start to dip in the nether regions. I need to get as organized and get as many things off my list so I stop the crazy thinking of, "I didn't get that done yet." Most of the things that need to get done are being done. Most are pretty timely.

Okay - I have the tree up and it was by my deadline of 12/14. The only problem is that there isn't a single decoration adorning it. I've wrapped gifts and placed them strategically along side the tree but the tree itself isn't complete. If it didn't already come with lights it would just be greenery. But it's still a tree and I will get myself up the attic and have a fully decorated tree by nightfall. I will have gifts spread wonderfully underneath making a holiday presentation any child would love.

I need to turn my attention to menu. I don't seem to be getting any help with appetizer ideas but that may change if I can sway the conversation appropriately. I might have the opportunity at Mr. L's birthday party tomorrow. He wants a Batman cake (?) and pizza so Sonny will be making some dough and spreading it out. I'm not sure what I need to do to help but I will if they need me.

Now, it's time to make another list to prioritize what I can do now. I'll take it from here.
TT

Friday in a flash

5:33 pm Friday

What happened to the day! I started out early. I had a good plan. I was so far ahead by 11:30 a.m. I was cruising right along with bags full of gifts and had almost everybody crossed off my list. I had a half day left.

I stopped again before going home. I thought I might complete the few items I still needed. I shopped and looked at this thing and that. I picked up this, put it down, picked up that. I carried a few around and circled back. I put that back. I looked at this other thing and then that other thing. Yes, No, Maybe, and soon I decided on a short few and by the time I checked my watch it was past 1:30. I was irritably hungry and yet I didn't stop but went straight home knowing there wasn't anything to eat.

I made popcorn and watched my DVRs recording of Top Chef. I got really tired and tried to relax. Then it was 4:00 and I thought if I wrapped the gifts I would have that out of the way. Then it was 5:15 by the time I was finished. I'm exhausted. And I'm thinking I have a Christmas dinner menu but I haven't shopped for any of that yet. I'm going to need a prime rib and some excellent shrimp to stuff with crabmeat. I can't think about that right now. I still have time and I'll get it all done. All of it. I was thinking I needed to bake more cookies.Sunday is Mr. L's birthday.What's for dessert on Christmas? I don't think that was decided yet.

I need a drink.
TT

FRIDAY! sort of

Today is my FRIDAY! I know it's really Thursday but as a work day it's Friday. I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow. It's a good thing! It's fab and it has me revved. I should be drag, dragging, dragged but instead I'm getting an extra ounce of bundled energy ready to be released over a three day weekend.

Okay, calm down. Let's not spend this entire energy wad on the first few minutes of Thursday (which is my FRIDAY). So, after work, let there be calm for more than 2 minutes at a time. Let's get out the priority lists. I will organize my scattered thoughts and figure out what and what will not be done. I will tackle the must do's first and have a game plan to accomplish the rest.

I'm so smart for taking this day off tomorrow because that makes today my FRIDAY!
TT

Speedy recap

Sunday came and went. Monday was Sonny's birthday and I went to work. We decided to get together and go out to dinner as a family but first everyone came over to my house to open his birthday presents.

We did that and then had dinner. It was a really, really nice time. I got a phone call that night and it was an order for 20 dozen cookies. Yes, I could have them ready for pick up at the magic store on Thursday. My mind was already search my database (I was thinking really hard) because I knew I didn't have enough of the right size tins. I could substitute the pail that holds 4 dozen (he wanted 5 pails of 4 doz cookies each) for two 2 dozen round tins. I had those. Early the next morning I went online and ordered more of my tin sizes since I would be all out of tins with this order.

Tuesday was the Tech Expo at work and it was filled with all kinds of activities. It was an on-the-go all day type of day. Then it was over and I went home and started baking. And baking. And then I went to the store to get the few ingredients I needed for two types of cookies and then went home and baked some more. All cooled, all stored away, and done for the day.

I expected to wake up dragged out tired but Wednesday dawned and I felt good. Maybe some of the pressure was off since I had finished baking and only needed to pack them up after work. So, I worked all day and then came home to find my order of cookie tins had already arrived at my doorstep! It as awesome because now I had enough of the correct size tins and didn't have to make the smaller ones work. I got them all packed up with cookies, labeled, and ready to take to the shop for the customer to pick up tomorrow.

If this seemed to be a quick recap it was. I had to catch up from Sunday to now, Wednesday night. I didn't mean to discount anything as less important but at the speed I need to keep going lately, it's the best I can do. The kiddos are scheduled to arrive in 30 minutes for a while and I should do some clean up or heck, just read for 30 minutes. I work tomorrow but had the foresight to take Friday off. Yea, me!

You would think I drank another barrel of coffee but I didn't. At least not since early this morning. This is just my set speed right now. Quick or you'll miss me.
TT

Focus on today

I'm don't have time to figure out why but I slogged through yesterday. Tired was the name of the game. I couldn't muster up the energy to get anything done. It wasn't happening and I couldn't force it.

I tried early in the morning. I got up, went to two stores and picked up a gift and then some groceries. I had hopes of more baking, decorating, and cleaning. By the time I got back home I was out of it. I figured I would take a break and get back to it. I would get myself organized and start again. That break turned long and longer and a load of laundry was done and it was 6:00 pm before I put up the tree and that was it.

I really need to focus in on today. I need to make some type of priority list and start crossing things off as done. Okay, so I needed some down time but that was yesterday and it's time to rev-up again. There is no use trying to make up time from yesterday. I have today to think about.
TT

Uphill

I have my work cut out for me. I don't think that is a truly accurate statement because I will need to cut out the work that needs to be done along with doing it. I think it might be an uphill battle for a while but what good are battles if there isn't a little effort put into them.

It's that time of year when everything gets crammed into a small amount of time. I know I am talking about work and battles but when it comes down to it, I enjoy all this stuff. It isn't really a battle and it really isn't uphill. Even if it is all those things are true and it is uphill work, I don't mind pushing up that hill to get to the top. It's a really nice time of year.

I will be pushing and working and driving uphill this weekend. I have things to do and lists to make. I have baking and decorating and cleaning up to sit and enjoy the view from the top. I have a couple of hills to tackle but in the end there isn't a better place I would rather be.
TT

What's the plan

My weekend of baking flew by. I am now well past the weekend and midweek with the pace not showing any indication it will slow down. I will need to stop and get adjusted and sorted out soon. There are quite a few things that need to be taken care of and I need to get my priorities in order. Not only are the holidays approaching but I've got two other birthdays to consider. It's time to stop rushing around getting things done to make sure I am doing the things that need to get done first.

I always put up the tree and decorate before my oldest son, Sonny's birthday. His birthday is next Monday so this weekend the tree will be first priority. I could get a head start by starting on that sooner after work but I know how that goes. I might have good intentions and I think it will work out early in the day but when the time comes, it doesn't happen that way.

Some shopping is in order. I have a list of good girls and boys that need some serious attention. It's a shame I have a list of their names and not something beside them. It would help to know where and what I am shopping for and have a game plan. I'll need to work that out.

Now, other duties are pulling me away but this 'plan' to get organized is still with me. I'll take care of a few things as my day goes on but some real time management is in order. Soon, soon. But now I have some things that need to be taken care of before I do that.
TT

Sliver moon

I noticed a beautiful sliver moon yesterday morning as I was leaving for work and it was there again this morning. It was a pitch dark sky with the faded circle outline of the moon. There was a distinct contrast with the bottom wedge  beaming bright. All that shining light from a narrow sliver of light is something to see with all the darkness around it.

I don't care about the science of why I see it that way, but only marvel at the treasure I glimpse at that moment.
TT

Baking

I have three machines working right now. If I took my time yesterday to try and figure out what I was going to do, I've got a complete head-start on today's activities. It's a complete 180 turnaround from yesterday. I have a load of laundry, a load of dishes, and the bread machine all churning away. The coffee maker has already done it's duty and I will have some biscotti baked up in short order real soon.

I started yesterday very slowly. I finally got up and went to the grocery store. It was a unexpected surprise to see they had a three piece group playing jazzy holiday tunes. Yes, in the entrance by the produce there was music. Look, I'm not kidding...

Well, that was certainly different. I'm glad I showed up when I did. 

Then it was home again and I decided to take care of some sugar cookie dough I had in the refrigerator. It was time to roll in out and put in on cookie sheets.

 I was able to get help decorating the cookies. Mr. L decided he was willing and able to sprinkle some colored sugars and discs on the cookies. He is a regular baker in-training and did an outstanding job of helping. He went out back and played with the dog while the cookies were baking but he washed his hands and came back to move them from the cooling racks to the plate. He later moved them to a large zip-lock bag to take home. He protested the small quart size bag I tired to give him claiming it was too small! I gave him a gallon size instead and he seemed pleased. 

I later baked some chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies to go with the sugar cookies. I will make some oatmeal in a bit but I am missing an ingredient so it may be chocolate hazelnut biscotti to make this morning. 

It sure smells good in here. 

TT

Wandering

I have no idea what I'm doing today. I've been up for over an hour and a half and you would think by now I would have worked out what needs to get done. I guess it's nice to have the time and opportunity to take that big amount to come up with a schedule. And if I don't come up with one, than that works out, too.

I'm just giving myself some time to get over the morning chill. Right. That's the ticket. I will mull over my options, take my time, and wander into my day. Splendid. I'm so glad I cleared that up.
TT

No mistake

Nothing can straighten out your confusion about what day it is faster than a Friday. It's the end of the work-week, time for the weekend and yeah! Who get's confused about that? Not me, oh no. I know exactly when it's a Friday and the fact that I will get my work done and head home, head to the store, head to a good book, head to...whatever, whenever, wherever.  There is no, however, I need to go to work so I need to get that done first. Nope. It's very easy to figure out when a Friday rolls around.

A Friday just rolled up to this prime location.
TT

Pause and focus

Again I'm having some confusion with days, which is which, and is it Wednesday or Thursday. You would think this reoccurring disorientation of time would abate after numerous reiterations. It hasn't, and I still sometimes have to pause and conscientiously remind myself of the accurate day of the week. I do that and it sets me straight but sometimes I am hit with the same confused state again when I need to pause and put myself back on track.

I guess this is just an example of anything we want to stay focused on. Some habits we want to break or create fall into this type of category of having to remind ourselves. We need to catch ourselves when we are confused or do the same things we want to change. We need to stop and think. Pause and refocus. Remind ourselves on what is real and what we really want.

Then try, for once, to remember what day it is.
TT

Fresh cookies

I got an unexpected phone call yesterday afternoon for a cookie order. It seems every time I am about to pull the site and stop the business, I get an order. Every time this happens it takes my thoughts away from stopping the business and reminds me of how easy it is to keep going. Since I have no sales expectations, every time I get an order I am breaking my own records for sales. If you have a zero expectation and something comes in, it's a win, right?

It has to be the easiest business to keep in operation. I have a website that costs me close to nothing each month. If I get an order I bake cookies and get paid for them. I keep the money in a separate bank account and it sits there once I'm paid. The close to nothing cost of the website comes directly out of that account.

It helps that I did my homework when I first started. It didn't start out as homework but merely baking cookies. I wanted to come up with different combinations so I baked this into a cookie dough and that into cookie dough and took them to work for others to taste. I changed a few and baked a few differently but came up with some cookies that weren't bad. That was my initial expectation. I just wanted to stretch my creativity with baking some cookies.

My youngest son, Dante, thought I should sell them. We got together and did some research on how much cookies cost at other on-line cookie sites. We figured our cost for the ingredients and packaging, and knew where our pricing should be to make a profit. We took pictures and set it all up. He went to work and got orders that first time around. Then I got other orders and then big orders from companies wanting 60 and then 90 dozen cookies. I got small orders and medium orders. I let it all happen. Yesterdays order was for 4 dozen and I would need to look back to my sales for this past year since I know I got more than a few orders.

Don't think the business blew up and was this busy cookie machine. It never was. Orders are sporadic, but then I don't do a thing until I get an order and then I make a profit and the money goes into that account. If I would spent a smidgen more time on working on it I might actually make a lot more sales. I haven't. I don't even think about it until days like yesterday when I get an unexpected call for a cookie order. Then I think about working on it. Then time goes by and I start thinking I should close it down. I haven't. There really isn't any reason to close it. It practically works itself.

Fresh cookies are baked and that is what it has always been about.
TT

Choose one

It's the first day of a new month which is the last of the year. It should be a good time to clear the slate, clear the mind, set up some goals, and close out the year with an abundance of well-being. I have high hopes for the coming days and weeks. I am looking forward to all the many events, large and small, that can encompass our lives. It's all about the moments. Remembering that it's all the small things that makes it good should be constantly in the forefront of my thoughts to achieving the enjoyment we can get from everything we do.

It can be a rat race. It can be stressful. It can be hard and tiring. It can be all those things and I won't diminish the idea that sometimes that is exactly the way it is. But it's the time we have. Right now. It can be the way we choose if we are conscience of how we are viewing those moments. It can be fun. It can be joyful. It can be calmed down to a moment, right now, that we acknowledge there are reasons to be happy even when we are tired or even when we are stressed. We can just as easily remember why we are happy because if you let yourself, you are. It can be done just as easily as allowing yourself the option. Why not choose the one you would rather be and let the other go.

It's a new day, a new month before the end of another year. Choose.
TT