Silently

Weekend!!!  I'm screaming it silently.  It was a long day, a long week, even if it was only four days.  How can that possibly be?  And yet, and yet.
The good news is that I'm not feeling the least bit sluggish.  I'm ready to rock it...the weekend and all it will bring me.  I've got some running I want to do and I need to decide where I will take myself to do that.  I would go to my haven except that it's the first Saturday of the month and they have a street market on those days and it's too difficult to find parking (even that early since they set up) because they block the entire street.  I'm thinking about heading out to the greenway.  I haven't been there before but I have talked to people who have and I checked it out on-line and it looks really nice.  I just need to decide to take a drive and do it.
Story.  Story, story...short story.  I wrote the last chapter over the long Memorial Day Weekend and knew it needed work.  I still know it needs work.  I slowed down on it and rolled it around in my head since I knew it was ailing.  I have to go back and do some fixing up now that I've given it a week of thought.  It seems to help when I allow it to simmer but, blast...  No.  No, but, but, no but's or blast's or anything else.  That's the way it works for me, even if it takes a while.  I'm not just writing all day.  I think about it all the time but that isn't doing it.  That isn't the same.  And if I am fitting in that full-time job and getting my run on and keeping the house and OH!
We bought all new appliances for the kitchen last weekend.  We were only going to replace the fridge.  It has the ice and water dispenser on the front and it has rusted just below that opening.  There is nothing wrong with the fridge itself but cosmetically it looks like it needs to be replaced.  So, we decided to replace the fridge.  Then I said the dishwasher REALLY needs to be replaced because it really doesn't work well.  We went shopping for a fridge and a dishwasher and found out it was Tax-Free Weekend and Memorial Day Discounts so we decided to get the stove, too.  Can I say we saved a bunch?  They will all be delivered 6/22.  All new, all matching brushed stainless and black.  (How do I manage those favorite colors...silver and black)? And now it's
WEEKEND!!!
TT

Knew that

So here it is a Friday and I'm finally here with enough time to scribble a note.  I didn't stop to blather about how I wish, or if I could, or maybe tomorrow I will finally get to do that...
I've been putting in a short 3 mile run every morning this past week before work.  I have run a consistent 6 days in a row for a total of 26.48 miles.  It isn't an incredible amount of miles but a little marathon, if you will.  Considering the total lack of miles and consistency I have shown all year I am very encouraged.  I am looking at races again.  I am considering upping the miles.  I am looking forward to going out tomorrow morning with much more than a mere 30 minutes to run before trying to force myself to cool-down enough to shower and get to work.  I will need to make a phone call, but I also believe the new Brooks Ghost running shoes are available tomorrow and I'd like to get that pair and use my Mizuno's as back up.
So you can see the fire seems to have kicked in again.  We'll see how it goes and if those morning rush runs can continue.  I would certainly like to total more miles at the end of June than I did in May.  Consistency is what it is all about and to stop talking and start doing actually works.  I knew that.
TT

Annoying

How about pounding out six miles this morning?  No thanks, just did that!  It might be that I knew this was my last day off that I decided to add another mile to my run this morning.  I was right at 5 miles, a few feet away from the house when I took a turn and decided I needed another mile to cool down.  Can adding an extra mile to a run be considered a cool down?  It's amazing the way I can make stuff up as I go along but it served me pretty well.  I'm feeling all the better for it and none the worse.  Not too shabby.
Starting out these past three mornings with runs has certainly been great.  I have been saying I wanted to get back into the routine but saying and doing - well, no matter how much you say something it doesn't count for anything.  It can count to make you someone who is all talk and a major annoyance depending on the amount of times it is repeated.  I know I've lashed out at myself for being a major annoyance.  It's too easy to keep talking and making up reasons why it isn't getting done.  But I have that new motto that came out of...where did it come from?  I don't know where.  ?
Oh - I know!  It was that final straw, the breaking point, the ultimate annoyance with myself when I finally lashed out in response.  'No more excuses.'
TT
 

No more excuses

Just got back from my second run in two days.  The rain held up for an instant yesterday morning and I took the opportunity to go out and get it done.  I did and this morning there were only clouds trying to scare me.   I laughed in their face and did it again.  Ten miles in two days isn't so bad for me.  It's the most I've done in a long time and I still have tomorrow!  Let's get over and go.  No more excuses.
The best part is I have the entire day to go.  Whatever, whenever, now, then...let's go with it.  I will be taking a portion of that time to write.  I need to get down to finishing up that story.  I'm feeling pretty fair about how it went if I try to analyze the statistics on the finestories site.

It's been exactly 30 days since I originally posted the prologue and chapter one.  I have a total of 346 downloads during that time, received 21 votes for a score of 2.79 (out of 5).  The interesting part is that 13 people have placed the story in their library, which acts as a bookmark.  This (to me) means they thought the story good enough to want to watch for the next chapter when I posted it.
It also means a lot that I have gotten more downloads on this story in 30 days than I have received on any other I posted in over 9 months.

The above stats go a little deeper in each chapter and shows the date I posted.  During the same 30 days each chapter breaks down to the downloads above.  Chapter two has 95% (not bad!) and chapter three has 58% and although that might be taken as a bad thing it's still more than half of the total downloads.  I don't want to try to imagine why anyone might have read through the first three chapters and didn't go on.  It might be...no.  Can't play that game.  In any case, 58% is a big number for a rookie writer like me.  Stats are only stats, right?  They only talk numbers, not why's.  I'm thrilled with the 13 that put me into their libraries!

So I need to get to work and finish.  I need to get over and go.  No more excuses.
TT

Re-arrange

It's been raining since 2:00am this morning and it's still pouring down.  I will need to re-arrange my morning since I can't go out and run first thing like I wanted.  I will have to keep an eye on the weather since there are flash flood warnings but the good part is that when it finally stops the temperatures will be lower.  It won't be the screaming 90 plus degrees that it has been.  The end of the story is that I will still find a time to run.  Period.
I suppose the re-arranging won't be all that bad.  It's a three-day weekend and I have some normal chores that can occupy my time.  It won't be as if I'm sitting around bored.  I usually enjoy sitting and watching the rain and being able to take my time.  Unfortunately, this is one morning I was already hyped to go out and blow off some extra energy and I will have to reel it in for a while.  The hard part is I'm not sure how long and where the re-arranging will take me.  But wondering 'what if' isn't going to do any good so I'll get busy and not worry about the weather.  It will come around.  It always does.
TT

Weekend plans

So what's in store today?
I realized (again) I have a three-day weekend.  I was reminded early in the week, then I forgot, then again yesterday I was reminded that we are off on Monday.  Oh, yeah.  A holiday I knew about but since all my gauges are misfiring I thought it was in another week.  But it's not and it is here now.  I will have three beautiful mornings to get my running in without the hurry up and rush afterward to cool-down, shower, and get myself to work.  It takes some of the the joy out of it when I have to rush but no, nah, it's still worth it.  It is just a little more inconvenient  but not so much that I wouldn't do it.  So I have that to look forward to doing.  And I am looking forward to it.
It will also give me some time to get to my Chapter four.  I've started it and then left it.  I've got the outline for it and I know where it's going now.  I might get the story complete in this chapter but I will see once I actually start putting down the words.  It seems I have put more into this 'short story' that is no longer a short story than was required and it might take more to wrap it up.  I can't start skimping on story now or it won't flow properly.  I can't just end it abruptly before I tie up all the ends.  So I'm looking forward to having time to work on it.
So it seems I have a few plans for the three-day weekend.  How about that!
TT

Busy, tired

I've lost track of days.  What is it today?  Wednesday, Thursday?  I'm confused.  I've got another week that seems to be slipping by without me knowing what the heck is going on.  Or is it that I know what the heck isn't and what the heck is going on and still can't keep up.  It must be an age thing.  Or just a busy thing.  Or a busy thing at work thing that makes me tired and confused because of my age.  That leaves me no time to get to  my after hours things...because I'm old and tired, right?
When I mentioned to Jay last night that I was tired, he said it was because I had gotten up early and ran the past two mornings.  I didn't care for his response.  He insinuated that because of my age I couldn't handle two workouts in two days time without getting tired.  And then of course, it stayed in my head and I decided I would skip this mornings run.  Okay, so a rest day it will be, but I will not let that comment knock me off my horse, or my, well, my, knock me out of my running shoes.
Well, I feel better now.  Somehow.  I realized it's Thursday and that helps.  Being less confused can go a long way.
TT

15 minutes

I have spent a maximum of 15 minutes up here at my laptop the past two days.  Yes.  I'd say 15 minutes is an accurate statement.  I haven't had time in the mornings.  I just went through the 30 plus e-mails that I haven't bothered to open.  They weren't anything important.  Just advertising that I deleted, but it sure can accumulate when I don't bother with it.  So I bothered with it and cleaned it all out.
I don't feel so bad now that I've spent at least another 15 minutes here.  That will make 30 for the past two days.  Not enough to get any work done but at least I doubled the time.  That must account for something.  It doesn't account for not getting anything done but I'll catch up.  I mean, I already cleared my inbox.
I'm going to read now.
TT

Great and fast

It was a great and fast weekend.  I'm letting time get away from me this morning and I can't tell you the amount of times I sat here writing a few paragraphs and then deleting them all before moving away from the laptop.  That happened over the course of the great and fast weekend.  I couldn't sort any decent thoughts and even now I'm rambling.  Posh!
On that story of mine.  I worked on it a bit but somehow I've spooked myself.  I want to convince myself I've written it into a corner but I know that isn't really true.  Not really.  I just need to buckle down and figure it out.  It isn't a matter of any of the things I am imagining I can or can't do with it.  I just need to channel that imagination into the writing and leave the worrying about where the story is or might be alone.  I've taken it this far and I can scribble on it some more.  And then a little more.
And that is where I'm at.  A little more work, than a little more.
Sometimes work can almost be like fun when you stop worrying about it.
TT

Moving slow

As early as I woke this morning, I don't seem to be moving as quickly as I would have liked.  It's coming up on 7:00 am and I should have scooted myself out for a run a half hour ago.  And still I'm here sipping slowly on my first cup of coffee because I put that off while I cleaned the kitchen and put a load of laundry in to wash.  So wait, maybe I'm not moving slowly, just not moving toward what I had in my head I was going to do first.  Does it matter that my organization went a little awry?  Or maybe I am (not again!) being a little over the top about when, where, what, why and who?
But I better be off for now.  I need to get that run in before my 8:30 am date with Mr. L.  I need to get moving a little more quickly.
TT

Novellette?!?

During the past two evenings I have powered through approximately five hours of writing after work.  I wanted to finish Chapter three of this short story I decided I was going to challenge myself with.  You know, the one that I was going to take the 20 minute writing exercise I wrote up and turn it into a quick, easy, ha-ha, I'm going to get this done quickly and have it all done in no-time, short story.  The one where I would use the information from the original 20 minute exercise to complete a short and easy story.  The one where I could complete the entire writing process quickly instead of slugging through an entire novel and never finishing within any reasonable amount of time.  That short story?
Well, this short story is no longer considered a short story.  By definition, short stories are within a word count range of 1000 - 7500 words.  But don't hold anyone to that said amount because depending on where you go, there might be a different answer.  That was the count that was considered by most as the accurate amount.  So, I am no longer writing a short story because I've gone over that amount and I'm not finished yet.  I'm over 10,000 words at this point.
I figured I had ventured into novella land.  But wait - that would be a word count of between 20,000 and 50,000 words.  I don't think my story will be that long!  So I found there is an in-between category of novelette which has a word count of 7500 - 20,000 words.  Oh sure...can you see me admitting to that in conversation?  "Yes, dear.  I am just about finished with my novelette."  This, of course, would be said while I'm sitting primly on a tufted cushion sipping English tea out of a porcelain cup with my pinky outstretched.  Right.  You're writing a what?  Novelette?  But then, at least it isn't flash fiction.  That caught your attention and no, it has nothing to do with men opening up their raincoats on street corners...but then again it might because it only has a word count of 100-500.
Chapter three is complete.  I've started Chapter four and I will be finished with this short - ah...novella...ah...I should be finished with this piece of fiction I've been working on real soon.  In the meantime, if you wanted to check out what I've already written you could go to finestories.com.  You might need to create a login that they will need to activate but there is no danger and no advertising on this site (it's also clean - all PG).
You can go there...look under TessaT and find 'Crossed Wires'.  Or not.  I haven't finished it yet anyway.
TT
      

Irreplaceable

This past weekend was one of those times that cannot be replaced.  It will stay wonderful and special and all of those things because that is what it was.  I could say, "After my wonderful weekend, I was thrown back into work," and that would somehow put a negative spin on it all.  And even though that might be the truth it isn't the reality of how the weekend ended or how I would want anyone to think about it. I won't be thinking of it that way.  Some things stand alone and no matter how you might try to surround them with all the trappings of normal life it will always rise above.
It's a reminder that those special things are all there waiting for you to find them amid the normal trappings and routines.  It's sometimes hidden underneath and pushed to the side and not always visible until you start to remove the clutter.  Don't let the clutter fool you into thinking those special things aren't there for you to find.  You sometimes have to dig in, get your hands dirty, work a little harder to find them.  It will always be worth it.  Then you have more than something special.  You will have something memorable.  And that cannot be replaced.

TT 

Snapshot

There isn't any way I could give an accurate recap of all that happened yesterday.
After taking my time yesterday sitting at my laptop with coffee in hand, it didn't take me long to go out for a run.  There wasn't any way I could resist it's pull to make my way along the winding road that follows the edge of the water.  My intention was a simple, easy, 3 miles but I kept going.  How could I turn away from the view and want to end the journey?  I finally started my way back when I ran out of road but I got the pleasure of the water lapping at the edges of the road once again as I started my return.  It wasn't much longer than the 3 miles I started out to do but it was an easy paced run of over 5.5 miles.  I thought there could be no better experience but the day was just beginning.
I stopped across the street from the hotel and pulled off my running shoes.  The water was just as it should have been.  The cool, salty, swirl was healing to my hot bare feet.  A few steps in it's comfort and I was good to sit and let the blue froth creep over and away, back and forth as I watched a sandpiper speed and stop, to peck and pick, and then speed away again.  It was a perfect cool-down.
Then the day began with family and breakfast, reading, and being outside sitting and watching.  There was time to splash in the pool and then whisk Mr. L away to dry him off while the rest continued to romp.  With only the two of us in the room, he decided he was ready to nap and although he insisted on frowning and kicking the covers, he laid down and sweetly blinked his eyes as he fell asleep.
When the afternoon wound it's way into evening we all trooped off to get our fill of seafood for dinner.  We managed a bountiful array of all that we could get and afterward found our way back to rest and relax.
This is only a snapshot of the day.  It is only a small frame of things and how they happened.
It's amazing the things I will remember from this snapshot even though they aren't recorded on any camera.
TT

A moment to begin

Saturday morning after a late night.  It's 7:13am and the hotel room is dark as I sip a cup of coffee.  The balcony door is open to hear the gulls and I feel the breeze swirling in off the water that is only as far as across the street.  I can see it by simply lifting my eyes over the top of my laptop.  Such a slight and simple gesture gives me the glimmer of the sun sparkling off the motion of the bumpy waves.  It hypnotizes me to pause and become entrenched in the calming motions of the gentle pushing and pulling of the rhythmic waters. I can't pull myself away but there is no reason to move.  
What better way to start a weekend, a Saturday, any day? I have my coffee in hand, gulls are squawking their tune, and water is so close I can hear it rustle.
They don't make personal paradises much better than this.
TT

Here!

We made it to my personal paradise!  This photo is from our balcony and I will need to take more photos tomorrow.  I've got the entire family here in our room with the basketball game on and everyone wondering what we are going to do for dinner.  We will figure it out, for sure.

TT

When I'm there

We are finally on our way to my personal paradise!  I'm sitting in the backseat, Jay is driving, and Dante is in the front passenger position.  It's going to be a bit of a drive to get there but we are on the way.
Can't say too much now since I'm typing on my phone...so later...when I'm there.
TT

When I get to it

I've got a short day at work.  I'm leaving at 1:00 even though we don't head out to my personal paradise until later today.  I'll be there all weekend with Sonny and Selma and the big boy and Mr. L.  They left yesterday and are already there.  Jay and I and Dante will be heading out late today.  It's the whole gang this time!
I'm feeling a little rushed but I've been feeling that way all week - for weeks.
I still haven't gotten around to revising my Chapter Three.  For some crazy reason I thought I might be able to do some work on it in the car driving down this afternoon.  Like I won't get caught up in the conversation, radio music, and distraction going on.  I thought I would sit in the back and work on it.  I'm not sure I'm being realistic.  But I will get to it when I get to it.
I am looking forward to the weekend and being away.  It's especially nice to be going with everyone.  It's something I wasn't sure we could get all our schedules around but it's happening.  So I will muddle through my half day of work and then get myself ready to be on the move for my personal paradise.
Happy Weekend!
TT

Now

You know that short story I've been working on?  I've been thinking about chapter three.  I already have the draft written.  I was ready to take on the re-visioning to complete it and I've actually started the draft of chapter four.  Now I'm thinking I need to go back and re-write it from the other main characters perspective.  I could keep the same action happening and even the majority chunk of dialogue but I would need to redo the portions that were from the other main characters point of view.  I'd need to turn it around.
That will take a little more work but I think it might be a better way to go at this point.  And so, I've been thinking about it even though I need to go for a run now.  I've been thinking about that, too.  All these thoughts.
Time to go do.  It.  Now.  First the run...then...take a look at chapter three.
Think later.
TT

Leaf turning

Tuesday morning is starting out with a renewed attitude.  I've been spending my time being very busy at work.  Associates are dropping like flies, work is piling up, it's getting busier and so there is more work that needs to get done.  It doesn't get easier.  But that can be dealt with as I've done it before.
On my own front this past weekend we celebrated Dante's 28th birthday.  We had the vino and food and hugs all around.  We might even be all going to my paradise this weekend for a short get away together.  I think we all might actually make it out there.
But all that aside, I am making small steps to change up whatever funk has settled over me so far this year.  I am not sure why I have persisted in trying to avoid and destroy the things I would rather be doing.  No more.  I checked out another writing site...writing.com...and posted the Prologue and Chapter One of a short story I'm working on.  I actually had someone there review it and mostly had comments about my grammar   They had good remarks about the characters and dialogue and story so far but caught me on some technical errors  that I have since corrected.  Good feedback for a problem I know I have.  I also went out and did a short run.  I am going to get that consistent again.  I don't know why I haven't already.  Don't know but no more.
Day two of leaf turning...looking good.
TT

Bouncing degrees

The wind won't stop howling.  It's as if a pack of coyotes decided to move just outside the front door and another are circling the back.  It doesn't help that the wind is carrying the damp from last nights thunderstorms while the temperatures drop to chill what was a pleasant and agreeable 86 degrees yesterday.     Not so for tonight.  It's a predicted 45 degrees those coyotes are heralding.  Hark!  It's May and I've got better things to do than deal with these bouncing degrees.
But deal I must.  And if it's a dip in the temperatures and a howl of the wind I know it will be over almost as quickly as it starts.  It isn't what I would want but a slight shift in the weather can be dealt with as long as it will be over and then done.  The wind will stop it's song, the sun will recover it's glow, and I will be dealing with those better things.
TT

Any rain?

There was thunder most of the night last night but I don't think I heard any actual rain.  I'm sure with all the commotion going on out there that rain must have fallen.  I just didn't hear it.  I'm sure once I take a step outdoors I will have evidence of it.  It would seem an awful waste of a show last night with the thunder if there wasn't any rain.
I was feeling mightily sorry for myself yesterday afternoon.  I think the long days of work are zapping my energies by the time I get home.  I am finding myself to be lazier than I want to be.  Or at least it's an excuse for me to lounge and not get to doing things I have in my head that I should be doing.  Or to do the things I would rather be doing when I am at work thinking I would rather be home doing other things.  So I got home and laid around doing nothing other than feeling sorry for myself.
It was an awful waste of a lot of show without producing anything.  Sort of like thunder without any rain.
TT  

May 1

I realized it's Wednesday today.  Then I realized it's the first of May.  Then I realized that even though there might be a slight dip in the evening temperatures that the days will be quite nice.  I should be outside.
I say that now because it's an easy way to try to get around the fact that I will be inside all day.  Who wants to be inside on such gorgeous days?  I will and have taken my entire lunch hour outside and that helps break the day from it's insidedness.  It helps tremendously to pull away and allow that escape even if it's only an hour and I have to drag myself back inside afterward.  But good things come in small packages if you can appreciate them when you have them.  And I do most of the time.
Happy May Day!
TT