It is sort of late in the day but I just got back from the gym. I waited too long to push myself out of the door but there was no way I could let myself mess up by day 4 of this 21 day habit process I am putting myself through. Whatever trick it takes...I'll try it on myself and it seems to be working so far to get me to the gym. I have to admit on Friday (day two) at 10 minutes before I was ready to leave work I was thinking I didn't want to go and work-out and would skip it. I then thought to myself it would be ridiculous to only have one day accomplished. Then I knew this morning (day four) I should have gotten my work-out done earlier but when I didn't do it I tried to rationalize how it would be okay to miss today. How would it be okay? So I got up and went. Now I'm back from the gym and it was actually a good thing. I mean this isn't a hard trick. My rule is simple. It's only a 30 minute work-out I am going for in this 21 day time frame. Every day for 21 days - a 30 minute work-out and it doesn't have to be all running, although these four days it has been. But I can change it up and cycle or something else if I could remember the names of the machines but I don't right now and I don't think it matters since I'm done for the day.
I think now I'll grab a glass of wine, do some ironing, while watching a cooking show. My Sunday evenings are so predictable. It was earlier in the day that almost went off track.
TT
-----------------------------
21 day habit gambit - Days 3 & 4 completed - 17 to go.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Finding inspiration
How many times have I stared at a blank page with no idea of what to put on it? As many times as I have sat down to write something, and that is more than a few, there have been as many that I didn't think I would have a thought to write down. (Maybe there really wasn't but let me keep on kidding myself here, okay)? Somehow, it never stayed blank and empty. (Maybe it should have but go with me here).
I realized that these thoughts can come from anywhere and at any time. They can be simple or complex. They can come in a flash or take time to be thought out. I wouldn't have believed if anyone had told me before learning to accept it myself that inspiration can happen when I didn't always think it was possible. It would happen as long as I knew how to read what I was seeing as an inspiration. That took time and practice and trial and error. It took many times staring at a blank page thinking nothing was there.
I learned I must never put off or wait to do anything until I am inspired. I found out that it is in the doing that brings the inspiration and the ability to recognize it in places and things I never would have suspected it would be. It was there waiting for me to arrive and if I didn't move toward it I wouldn't see it. Of course, I don't always know I am moving toward it sometimes which makes it all the trickier but so much more exciting when it happens. It proves to me that you can't wait to be inspired but you will be as you keep going. It's a simple matter of finding it.
TT
-----------------------
21 day habit gambit - 2 days completed - 19 to go.
I realized that these thoughts can come from anywhere and at any time. They can be simple or complex. They can come in a flash or take time to be thought out. I wouldn't have believed if anyone had told me before learning to accept it myself that inspiration can happen when I didn't always think it was possible. It would happen as long as I knew how to read what I was seeing as an inspiration. That took time and practice and trial and error. It took many times staring at a blank page thinking nothing was there.
I learned I must never put off or wait to do anything until I am inspired. I found out that it is in the doing that brings the inspiration and the ability to recognize it in places and things I never would have suspected it would be. It was there waiting for me to arrive and if I didn't move toward it I wouldn't see it. Of course, I don't always know I am moving toward it sometimes which makes it all the trickier but so much more exciting when it happens. It proves to me that you can't wait to be inspired but you will be as you keep going. It's a simple matter of finding it.
TT
-----------------------
21 day habit gambit - 2 days completed - 19 to go.
Uphill
With profound change comes new opportunity...
I came across this line and, of course, I had to try to figure out how it pertained to me. I haven't had too many things changing lately. Routines are running as regularly as they have ever been and I can't think of a profound change that has affected me directly. I think the line stuck in my head because, just maybe, I feel like there might be some new opportunities if I pay attention. But do I need to wait for a profound change?
I think I realized that I have never been much for waiting on things to happen, to see how it goes type of personality. If I feel like something needs to be done I will most likely pick it up and do it. It will usually be an uphill battle but for the most part I will struggle with myself through it to get to the top of the hill or somewhere on a high ledge so I can look down from where I came. It also doesn't mean I won't stand back and let things play out. It wouldn't be accurate to say I don't do that but most of the time I am paying attention to what is going on while I am standing back. Maybe most of the profound changes that are happening are affecting the people around me which, in turn, has an affect on me.
I must say it is certainly a pleasure when I get to see someone who has been dealt something in life which provokes profound changes only to have that experience move them to a new opportunity they may have left for a waiting to happen circumstance. It gives them the opportunity to act on something they might have been wanting to do but were too stuck in a regular routine to think they could. Most people don't think they can climb to high ledges much less the top of the hill. And what if you try and can't make it? What can it hurt? The journey itself sometimes has value you could never gain if you didn't try. And more than likely you will be higher up than you were before to see things in a different way than you ever could. Isn't that what makes everything worthwhile?
So, as I am standing back watching the changes around me, I am paying attention to the positive changes that are affecting the ones around me. I guess I am not so worried about myself but I get the benefit of the joy that comes when others experience that high that comes when they take the opportunities they might not have acted on if there hadn't been a profound change.
TT
I came across this line and, of course, I had to try to figure out how it pertained to me. I haven't had too many things changing lately. Routines are running as regularly as they have ever been and I can't think of a profound change that has affected me directly. I think the line stuck in my head because, just maybe, I feel like there might be some new opportunities if I pay attention. But do I need to wait for a profound change?
I think I realized that I have never been much for waiting on things to happen, to see how it goes type of personality. If I feel like something needs to be done I will most likely pick it up and do it. It will usually be an uphill battle but for the most part I will struggle with myself through it to get to the top of the hill or somewhere on a high ledge so I can look down from where I came. It also doesn't mean I won't stand back and let things play out. It wouldn't be accurate to say I don't do that but most of the time I am paying attention to what is going on while I am standing back. Maybe most of the profound changes that are happening are affecting the people around me which, in turn, has an affect on me.
I must say it is certainly a pleasure when I get to see someone who has been dealt something in life which provokes profound changes only to have that experience move them to a new opportunity they may have left for a waiting to happen circumstance. It gives them the opportunity to act on something they might have been wanting to do but were too stuck in a regular routine to think they could. Most people don't think they can climb to high ledges much less the top of the hill. And what if you try and can't make it? What can it hurt? The journey itself sometimes has value you could never gain if you didn't try. And more than likely you will be higher up than you were before to see things in a different way than you ever could. Isn't that what makes everything worthwhile?
So, as I am standing back watching the changes around me, I am paying attention to the positive changes that are affecting the ones around me. I guess I am not so worried about myself but I get the benefit of the joy that comes when others experience that high that comes when they take the opportunities they might not have acted on if there hadn't been a profound change.
TT
Thursday, July 28, 2011
21 days
I dragged my rump to the gym this afternoon after work. It was a necessary action that should have happened sooner. I have had nothing that could pass as any good physical activity in approximately two weeks. During that time I have come directly home from work and managed to snack myself through a buffet of junk foods before making dinner and then eating again. I decided it had to stop and since the time in which this bad behavior seemed to occur was after work I made the decision that was the time frame I needed to concentrate on. I had to do something after work to divert myself from this lazy grazing. What could be better than using that time to get a work-out in? I have done that before. I can't exactly run outside at that time due to our 103 degree weather of late and I shouldn't have stopped completely anyway. I made up my mind to get over myself and to stop finding reasons why I couldn't and find ways I could. So I did. And I will.
I have successfully filled that time one day today. In order to make it a habit I need to make it happen another 20 days to complete the 21 days to make it a habit gambit. So tomorrow again and then the next. I will fill that black hole of snacking time with the necessary diversion I should have been using in that time slot for in the first place.
Whew! I might have caught this just in time. 20 more days...
TT
I have successfully filled that time one day today. In order to make it a habit I need to make it happen another 20 days to complete the 21 days to make it a habit gambit. So tomorrow again and then the next. I will fill that black hole of snacking time with the necessary diversion I should have been using in that time slot for in the first place.
Whew! I might have caught this just in time. 20 more days...
TT
No pics
I won't be placing any pictures on my site here for a while. I am lending my camera to Dante as he takes his longish weekend in Las Vegas. I probably need to stop taking pictures for a while anyway and just spend some time cleaning up the pictures I already have. I know that chore will take a little bit of time since I know I will feel the need to delete and pull and re-file pictures. I know I have two folders in particular that I need to go through and see what I have. I guess not much has changed from regular old snapshots to digital pictures on my laptop. At some point or other I need to go through the box of snaps and figure out what to do with them whether that box is cardboard or electronic. It always takes some time looking at each one and that, of course, will make me think of what was happening or going on at the time which slows the process but is part of what makes it worth doing.
I say there won't be any pictures on the site for a while since I won't have a camera. I'm not sure that may be correct. If I actually go through the pictures I have, well, there might be a few more there I might want to share. I never know what I might find while I"m looking.
TT
The photo
I say there won't be any pictures on the site for a while since I won't have a camera. I'm not sure that may be correct. If I actually go through the pictures I have, well, there might be a few more there I might want to share. I never know what I might find while I"m looking.
TT
The photo
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Workspace
I'm looking around the room that is my workspace here at home. There are very few things out of order. A few papers I need to go through, a small pile of items that need to be put away but mostly it is pretty well organized. I seemed to be keeping up with myself. Or maybe I am almost getting ahead of myself. What I mean is, all the items are in place to make for a very conducive place to work and as organized as I am I haven't been doing very much work.
I came across an article about things to do and things to avoid about a home office work space. It pointed out what I've heard many times before of not having your laptop and desk in your bedroom. It seems you can't clear your head if you see work as you are waking up. It also said things like being organized and keeping papers to a minimum and even if you have stacks of work that it was sometimes okay since you have to have those types of things in order to work. Well, okay now, make up your mind. I'm not sure if the article was just trying to make everyone feel good - the organized, stackless-people and the many papers stackful-people. Could it be both or was the article just trying to cover everyone? Anyway, my area is stackless and ready.
I don't have the excuse of having to take the time to get organized. I'm pretty much already there. Now if I could only stay home to work.
TT
I came across an article about things to do and things to avoid about a home office work space. It pointed out what I've heard many times before of not having your laptop and desk in your bedroom. It seems you can't clear your head if you see work as you are waking up. It also said things like being organized and keeping papers to a minimum and even if you have stacks of work that it was sometimes okay since you have to have those types of things in order to work. Well, okay now, make up your mind. I'm not sure if the article was just trying to make everyone feel good - the organized, stackless-people and the many papers stackful-people. Could it be both or was the article just trying to cover everyone? Anyway, my area is stackless and ready.
I don't have the excuse of having to take the time to get organized. I'm pretty much already there. Now if I could only stay home to work.
TT
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
In the kitchen
I have been in the kitchen again. That isn't unusual and I got to play sous chef this past Sunday. I didn't do anything elaborate but just helped out. I made some home-made lemonade (really, I only squeezed the lemons).
Then I made a salad. (Yes, there is lettuce underneath all those sliced avocados).
But the bulk of my cooking time was spent earlier in the week. I actually had orders to fill for my cookies. These are the same cookies I experimented with, came up with different flavor combinations and then given away. The give-away part didn't enter into it this time. Dante persuaded me to give a shot at selling them. We sat down and he made me come up with at least six of my flavors. I knew my original cookie had to be included - the Cinque Cioccolato (don't let the name scare you, it's my five chocolate cookie) and five more to make six different varieties. Then it was packaging and pricing and labels and tins and ingredients and it was some work but we put it together. He went out and got 16 orders in one try! So I had to bake to fill the orders and I did! And he sold them all! I couldn't have been happier. These are the six varieties in the bakers dozen packaging we came up with. Yes...we did all the photo's and artwork on the labels - we did all of it. Well - only I did the baking.
Then I made a salad. (Yes, there is lettuce underneath all those sliced avocados).
Then I made a cake with the fresh fruit on top (again - they keep asking for it). I'm sure you've seen this before...or something similar. I've done it many times.
It was great and even though I don't have pictures of everything else it was all very good.
I have been in the kitchen recently. More work needs to be done if I was really going to go any further with this cookie venture but it's something that was given a fairly good trial run and worked.
I'm happy with the way it turned out. But then I always feel good when something good comes out of the kitchen. Doesn't everyone?
TT
Coming up
The month of July seems to be winding it's way down. I keep flipping calendar pages over to the next month without quite realizing what has happened to the month I am tucking back and away with other past pages. At least it seems that way for the previous months this year. But I have done a few things this month and it has been positive. I can't walk away shaking my head in wonder about where the time went. This time I seem to know what happened since I was an active part in a variety of things that were going on.
If you were to press me on what those things were I would be able to rattle off a few fingers worth of items. I would probably spill them out quickly and efficiently. I would probably then stop and have to think for a moment before proceeding again and ticking off another finger or two. It might be cause for some self-doubt at that point. Maybe I would begin to think it really wasn't that much and I shouldn't have said anything to begin with. It might play out that way. It has in the past.
But I don't think it would this time. Something has changed and seems to be changing. Again. There are changes in myself, in what I do and how I go about it. Mostly, I think, these changes are in the way I am thinking about it. It isn't a matter of not holding myself to the absolute highest standard because I don't know that I can lower that bar too much, but allowing myself the smallest of breaks, that sometimes it takes time to reach those standards. I can give myself a small amount of permission to take the time to work on it and if I stick to it I can get there.
This month of July seems to have been when I started to get there with a few digits worth of things. I might take the small amount of time left to this month to appreciate and absorb these positive concepts. It's a good place to be and I don't want to rush through and forget the importance of it all. It isn't even a matter of slowing down as much as it is recognizing as I go along. So as July winds down, I have been coming up.
That isn't such a bad way to end a month.
TT
If you were to press me on what those things were I would be able to rattle off a few fingers worth of items. I would probably spill them out quickly and efficiently. I would probably then stop and have to think for a moment before proceeding again and ticking off another finger or two. It might be cause for some self-doubt at that point. Maybe I would begin to think it really wasn't that much and I shouldn't have said anything to begin with. It might play out that way. It has in the past.
But I don't think it would this time. Something has changed and seems to be changing. Again. There are changes in myself, in what I do and how I go about it. Mostly, I think, these changes are in the way I am thinking about it. It isn't a matter of not holding myself to the absolute highest standard because I don't know that I can lower that bar too much, but allowing myself the smallest of breaks, that sometimes it takes time to reach those standards. I can give myself a small amount of permission to take the time to work on it and if I stick to it I can get there.
This month of July seems to have been when I started to get there with a few digits worth of things. I might take the small amount of time left to this month to appreciate and absorb these positive concepts. It's a good place to be and I don't want to rush through and forget the importance of it all. It isn't even a matter of slowing down as much as it is recognizing as I go along. So as July winds down, I have been coming up.
That isn't such a bad way to end a month.
TT
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Godspell Revival
A girlfriend of mine from work is leaving for New York City tomorrow. She is very excited about it and was counting down the days and letting me know she had gotten tickets for David Letterman and Wicked. All the talk and excitement had me wishing I was going to NYC. I would love to see another Broadway show. I thought about it so much I went out and searched for the newest of Broadway shows. I thought I had found a few that sounded very interesting but then I came across this interesting bit of information.
Godspell will open in previews at Broadway's Circle on the Square Theatre on Oct. 13, with an opening night of Nov. 7 at the
Circle in the Square.
It seems they are doing a revival of this show in previews in NYC that dates back to the late 1970's. Ah, well, yes...I would know because I was actually IN a small home-town local production (one I actually produced with a partner of mine) way back when in 1977. It was a stretch of years that I spent a majority of my time around live theatre. Here is the original stencil I made for posters and I also used it to paint the backs of cotton denim work shirts for the entire cast.
Rather nifty? Don't you think? I did it freehand and it mostly looks like the original.
All this thinking back had me pulling out some old stuff from that production. Then I started playing around with some of the technology that I know nothing about and thought it might be interesting if I could figure out how to make a clip of what I had. So with some trial and error I put together a 34.5 second clip. I have it for you just below. It isn't too long if you don't mind hearing me sing during one of our live performances from microphones set up at the front of the stage on a reel-to-reel recorder back in 1977.
What the heck! I'm only giving you a short bit if you don't mind the listen. It takes me way, way back...
Maybe we weren't exactly Broadway...but then, who would think we would have the technology now to listen to something that took place so many years ago? Heck, who would think I would be able to figure out the technology to put it together so you could hear me way back from 1977- right now?
TT
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Back to black
I was a block away from home in my car with the top down. I had just gotten the maintenance done on it where I was able to sit and read during the time the dealership worked on it. I had then stopped at the grocery store and was able to cross that activity off my list. Normal, simple, everyday things I was planning on getting done were now out of the way. Then one block away from home was when my cell phone buzzed. I only gave it a short glance before setting it aside until I got home. I knew I couldn't give it more notice until I stopped and with the top down and it being back lit I couldn't see it anyway. All I saw in that instant was that it was from Selma and it stated...Bad news...
That sharp pang of fear went through me. It rose from inside my chest and swelled. I'm not prone to panic and will and have latched on to calm logic whenever this feeling has come over me in the past and I was able to take hold of it and pat it back down. It didn't take long for me to pull into my drive and read the entire text. It said..."Bad news about Winehouse...on the news."
Oh, it was about Amy Winehouse. I figured the poor talented singer had another bad turn with her drug/alcohol troubles. I brought my groceries inside and went to the laptop to search up the news. I couldn't believe the actual news was that she was dead. She was found in her London apartment. Her father was on a flight and might not know. I sent Selma a text..."I just checked...OMG didn't expect that at all! This is terrible!" Selma called me and we couldn't believe it. We both had been waiting for her tour to continue and another album. She was good, talented, yes, severe addictions, but this is so sad!
I thought about the normal, simple things we do day to day. I thought about a simple text from someone you care about saying bad news and how it can send a pang straight through you. I thought about Amy's father on a flight unaware for who knows how long when the world already knows.
Things can come out of the blue and rattle your normal, simple world at any time. Selma did tell me if it was really something closer to home that it would never be a text I would receive. I wonder how Amy's dad will get the news. It's all so very sad.
TT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdqEWohQjvA&feature=related
That sharp pang of fear went through me. It rose from inside my chest and swelled. I'm not prone to panic and will and have latched on to calm logic whenever this feeling has come over me in the past and I was able to take hold of it and pat it back down. It didn't take long for me to pull into my drive and read the entire text. It said..."Bad news about Winehouse...on the news."
Oh, it was about Amy Winehouse. I figured the poor talented singer had another bad turn with her drug/alcohol troubles. I brought my groceries inside and went to the laptop to search up the news. I couldn't believe the actual news was that she was dead. She was found in her London apartment. Her father was on a flight and might not know. I sent Selma a text..."I just checked...OMG didn't expect that at all! This is terrible!" Selma called me and we couldn't believe it. We both had been waiting for her tour to continue and another album. She was good, talented, yes, severe addictions, but this is so sad!
I thought about the normal, simple things we do day to day. I thought about a simple text from someone you care about saying bad news and how it can send a pang straight through you. I thought about Amy's father on a flight unaware for who knows how long when the world already knows.
Things can come out of the blue and rattle your normal, simple world at any time. Selma did tell me if it was really something closer to home that it would never be a text I would receive. I wonder how Amy's dad will get the news. It's all so very sad.
TT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdqEWohQjvA&feature=related
Lists
I've started a grocery list. I need to give the kitchen a good cleaning. It's time for me to take my car in for it's 25,000 miles maintenace. I haven't had a run.
Maybe this is the second list I've started today. All those things one after another. Simple, ordinary, everyday things that wait until the weekend to get done. When I have more time and no schedule. When I get to pick and choose when I want to do this one or that one. When I decide if it's better for one to be done before or after the other. When I choose if it gets done today or later because something else that wasn't on the list comes up and takes priority.
But right now I'm only sorting through the lists on paper and in my head. Already I've thought of a few more things that should get done. That is how is goes sometimes. The morning sorting and sifting, thinking and plotting the precious hours that I get. They aren't really all mine. There are always the things that need to get done that are more obligation that others. But it makes a nice mix and would I really appreciate the truly free things I do if I didn't accomplish the more necessary?
But no time for questions and answers. Doing is the plan for the day. I'm up for it and need to get started. I already have all these things to do on my lists!
TT
Maybe this is the second list I've started today. All those things one after another. Simple, ordinary, everyday things that wait until the weekend to get done. When I have more time and no schedule. When I get to pick and choose when I want to do this one or that one. When I decide if it's better for one to be done before or after the other. When I choose if it gets done today or later because something else that wasn't on the list comes up and takes priority.
But right now I'm only sorting through the lists on paper and in my head. Already I've thought of a few more things that should get done. That is how is goes sometimes. The morning sorting and sifting, thinking and plotting the precious hours that I get. They aren't really all mine. There are always the things that need to get done that are more obligation that others. But it makes a nice mix and would I really appreciate the truly free things I do if I didn't accomplish the more necessary?
But no time for questions and answers. Doing is the plan for the day. I'm up for it and need to get started. I already have all these things to do on my lists!
TT
Friday, July 22, 2011
Can't fix time
I've managed to leave myself no extra time this morning. I've been losing track of it lately - that time thing. The days somehow got shorter at work and the work longer. I will be working on something and realize the time has gotten away from me. It's a good thing but I will find myself in spots like this...with little to no time. And I will rush off to the next thing that needs to be done and it will happen all over again. I will look down and it will be time for something else I should be doing or I haven't left myself enough time for.
A vicious cycle when I get into it. It's been going on a while and well, I must say, I actually like it. I would rather be busy and have no time to sit and figure out what I should, could be doing (at work)! while each minute only clicks away by the hour. But not of late. That hasn't been the case. It's funny how that time thing works. It seems to be working well for me now, so I won't be trying to fix it. Besides, I've almost run out of week and time becomes my own for a few days right about...yes...4:00pm today.
Happy Friday!
TT
A vicious cycle when I get into it. It's been going on a while and well, I must say, I actually like it. I would rather be busy and have no time to sit and figure out what I should, could be doing (at work)! while each minute only clicks away by the hour. But not of late. That hasn't been the case. It's funny how that time thing works. It seems to be working well for me now, so I won't be trying to fix it. Besides, I've almost run out of week and time becomes my own for a few days right about...yes...4:00pm today.
Happy Friday!
TT
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Baby news
It's never been a question of "if." It's always been a matter of "when."
It was only a while back that I got a card with that one line on the front of it. I had gotten a call after work asking if I was at home and what time Jay would be there. I tried to answer as best I could and the conversation seemed abruptly short and left me without too much information. When Jay arrived home I asked if he had gotten a phone call. "No." Well, then, okay. It seemed a little odd but nothing to really think too much about. Yet, it did seem slighly odd.
A little later in the evening Sonny and Selma came over to the house. I knew something was up and Selma seemed a little nervous (or was that me)? We went out to the back deck and weren't sitting more than a few minutes when Sonny looked at Selma and Selma looked at him and I looked at both and then everybody was looking at each other. Selma finally stood up and handed us the card. There it all was. It's never been a question of "if." It's always been a matter of "when." I opened the card and it said, Congratulations, Future Grandpa and Granda!
OH! My! Well! That IS happy news, without question! No question! We were all smiles and hugs and talking. There was no more looking from one to another without a multitude of words and more smiles.
It has been a while since I got the news but it was never a question of "if" I was happy and excited about it. It was a matter of "when" I would want to put something as important as this down. It's past that time. The when is now and was never an if. Good news like this will swirl around you starting at your feet and work it's way up until you lift your arms and can only smile and clap. This feeling has been swirling around me from the moment I read that card. It's been there every time I think about the future and how these things unroll and play out. It keeps gaining momentum at times and I can feel it generating from those places inside that want to burst it's way out. There was never an if.
So, it looks like there will be another name I might be called in the future. Granda. And no, I didn't misspell it here...that is what the card said...so it must be so.
I'm going to be a Granda!
TT
It was only a while back that I got a card with that one line on the front of it. I had gotten a call after work asking if I was at home and what time Jay would be there. I tried to answer as best I could and the conversation seemed abruptly short and left me without too much information. When Jay arrived home I asked if he had gotten a phone call. "No." Well, then, okay. It seemed a little odd but nothing to really think too much about. Yet, it did seem slighly odd.
A little later in the evening Sonny and Selma came over to the house. I knew something was up and Selma seemed a little nervous (or was that me)? We went out to the back deck and weren't sitting more than a few minutes when Sonny looked at Selma and Selma looked at him and I looked at both and then everybody was looking at each other. Selma finally stood up and handed us the card. There it all was. It's never been a question of "if." It's always been a matter of "when." I opened the card and it said, Congratulations, Future Grandpa and Granda!
OH! My! Well! That IS happy news, without question! No question! We were all smiles and hugs and talking. There was no more looking from one to another without a multitude of words and more smiles.
It has been a while since I got the news but it was never a question of "if" I was happy and excited about it. It was a matter of "when" I would want to put something as important as this down. It's past that time. The when is now and was never an if. Good news like this will swirl around you starting at your feet and work it's way up until you lift your arms and can only smile and clap. This feeling has been swirling around me from the moment I read that card. It's been there every time I think about the future and how these things unroll and play out. It keeps gaining momentum at times and I can feel it generating from those places inside that want to burst it's way out. There was never an if.
So, it looks like there will be another name I might be called in the future. Granda. And no, I didn't misspell it here...that is what the card said...so it must be so.
I'm going to be a Granda!
TT
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Back from paradise
When I was done I plopped down, scooted off my shoes and peeled off my socks. I sat for a while and put my feet in the warm water. I stared off at the expanse of water and sky and let the shy waves lap up and down on my feet. It was a while before I pulled myself up and away.
Late in the day it was time to just sit again and watch the outdoors. I took a few shots but didn't move from my spot. I noticed a few things and snapped them as I saw them.
I'm back now from my short trip. It was time well spent and I'll need to see about another trip back there soon.
TT
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Pleasant surprise
I was more than a little surprised this morning when I opened up laptop. We arrived at our usual motel here at my personal paradise early yesterday afternoon. We grabbed some lunch before we checked in and afterward I went and grabbed some rays by the pool. I lounged for long enough to relax in the heat and listen to the water splashing activities of others in the pool. I didn't stay long enough to leave more than a slight layer of bronze upon the already fading color of my skin. And boo-hoo about the bad effects and all that jive. I've always practically lived outdoors, always will. It's everything in moderation right? Well, I was moderate. Then it was a shower and relax before heading out for an evening drink and yeah...since there was a live band, a little dancing, too. Not a shabby day in paradise.
And then this morning I opened my laptop in the motel thinking I would charge my iPod. That is when I noticed there was wi-fi available. I checked and there was one with the same name as the motel. Could it be? I've been coming here for so long and that hasn't been the case before. So I clicked into it and I needed a password. I walked over to the phone and called the motel office. "I'm in room 327. Do you have wi-fi?" "Yes," came the operators answer. I recognized her voice from the same lady that had checked us in yesterday. She is the same lady that checks us in almost everytime we are here. She went on to explain the process but I was already ahead of her and just waiting for the password. I think she is used to having to explain every step but I got what I needed and was able to log-in.
So here I am now (yes - a little late in the day) in my motel room, after just finishing a book (rather good one for a change - thanks, dear friend, for the suggestion) and pausing a moment to think how very convenient this all is. I am certainly appreciative of the simplest things. Relaxing, dancing a step, reading a good book and convenient wi-fi.
It's no wonder this is my own personal paradise.
TT
And then this morning I opened my laptop in the motel thinking I would charge my iPod. That is when I noticed there was wi-fi available. I checked and there was one with the same name as the motel. Could it be? I've been coming here for so long and that hasn't been the case before. So I clicked into it and I needed a password. I walked over to the phone and called the motel office. "I'm in room 327. Do you have wi-fi?" "Yes," came the operators answer. I recognized her voice from the same lady that had checked us in yesterday. She is the same lady that checks us in almost everytime we are here. She went on to explain the process but I was already ahead of her and just waiting for the password. I think she is used to having to explain every step but I got what I needed and was able to log-in.
So here I am now (yes - a little late in the day) in my motel room, after just finishing a book (rather good one for a change - thanks, dear friend, for the suggestion) and pausing a moment to think how very convenient this all is. I am certainly appreciative of the simplest things. Relaxing, dancing a step, reading a good book and convenient wi-fi.
It's no wonder this is my own personal paradise.
TT
Saturday, July 16, 2011
While waiting
Ahhh, but no! Sitting around waiting seemed absurd! What better way to pass the time from here to there in the early morning than going out and adhering to the weekend warrior rule I have been following of late. I went out for a run! Nice, slow, easy. I actually set my sensor for three miles to just pass a little time. Three mere miles to get over the hump of being up too early to leave.
Ahhh, but no! No three miles...went past that marker far too easily and kept going. Still nice, still slow. I wasn't racing, just passing time and it turned into this.
Okay, just a little more than 3 miles and I was feeling really good up until mile 5 1/2 when I took a breather and caught my breath.
So, it was the best way to spend the time. I am only here now long enough to cool down to shower and pack it up to go.
I also set another goal for a week to try to get a little more consistent. I tried once and didn't make it so I am going to give it another chance (Well, I'm giving myself another chance - aren't I?)
I also thought this was interesting.
Ahhh, but no! No three miles...went past that marker far too easily and kept going. Still nice, still slow. I wasn't racing, just passing time and it turned into this.
So, it was the best way to spend the time. I am only here now long enough to cool down to shower and pack it up to go.
I also set another goal for a week to try to get a little more consistent. I tried once and didn't make it so I am going to give it another chance (Well, I'm giving myself another chance - aren't I?)
I also thought this was interesting.
I've got a long way to go until I hit the next level. But look where I am now and I need to remember it took one small goal at a time. Ahhh, but no!
It took one small run. It took one foot in front of the other. It took one small step at a time.
Now I really need to run! Just enough time to leave for my personal paradise!
TT
Anticipation
I am up way too early this morning. I tried to sleep a little later but it didn't seem like it was going to happen so I got up. It's notoriously quiet inside and out. And dark. It's that odd exciting feeling when it's almost time to do something you are looking forward to, but not quite soon enough. By early this afternoon I will be at my own personal paradise. It came upon me much sooner than I had time to anticipate so I think it might have finally caught up to me now.
It was a planned yet impromptu trip. I say planned because when originally talked about it should have been later but became sooner - much sooner - today sooner. And even with all those sooners, I am just waiting now. I haven't had a chance to realize I will actually be there in a few more hours. With my down time yesterday and all that has been going on it snuck up from behind me and tried to cover my eyes. Like I wouldn't recognize what was going on and I almost didn't. I'm not sure it has even registered with me yet which is why I am up too early and not sure what to do with my regular Saturday. Mainly, because it isn't a regular Saturday. It is a morning I am headed out to my personal paradise for a few days.
I am still caught up in thinking that I will be there soon! If I can only fill a little time now until light - pack up a small bit - and I will be there before I know it! Dash! If I only could have slept later. I would be that much closer to the time to get there!
TT
It was a planned yet impromptu trip. I say planned because when originally talked about it should have been later but became sooner - much sooner - today sooner. And even with all those sooners, I am just waiting now. I haven't had a chance to realize I will actually be there in a few more hours. With my down time yesterday and all that has been going on it snuck up from behind me and tried to cover my eyes. Like I wouldn't recognize what was going on and I almost didn't. I'm not sure it has even registered with me yet which is why I am up too early and not sure what to do with my regular Saturday. Mainly, because it isn't a regular Saturday. It is a morning I am headed out to my personal paradise for a few days.
I am still caught up in thinking that I will be there soon! If I can only fill a little time now until light - pack up a small bit - and I will be there before I know it! Dash! If I only could have slept later. I would be that much closer to the time to get there!
TT
Friday, July 15, 2011
Taking it
I took the day off. I took it really easy. I got up early, drank coffee, prepared a report and got it into the mail. I bought a new wireless printer and managed to install it to both my PC downstairs and my laptop upstairs. I washed one load of laundry. I kept it low-key and easy.
I'm not even going to write about it. This is as far as it goes for today.
Now I'm taking the evening off.
TT
I'm not even going to write about it. This is as far as it goes for today.
Now I'm taking the evening off.
TT
Thursday, July 14, 2011
One moment
I seemed so rushed. Today is Thursday but it is really my Friday at work. I guess I'll have time to slow up a bit tomorrow when I get my day off. It came so quickly and I haven't had a chance to think about it. Luckily, I didn't plan anything for tomorrow and I can use the time as I see fit or however things unravel. No wait...things are already a little unraveled so maybe tomorrow I'll have a chance to...ravel them back? reel them in? smooth it over, pace it out. Tomorrow I will have time to think up what it is I need to do to get past how busily quickly this last week has progressed!
But at the moment...I need to hurry...it's late again...This is where I make that silly statement about whew! times flying! what happened to the time! is that the right time!
It IS the right time...and it's gone again. And so am I.
For the moment.
TT
But at the moment...I need to hurry...it's late again...This is where I make that silly statement about whew! times flying! what happened to the time! is that the right time!
It IS the right time...and it's gone again. And so am I.
For the moment.
TT
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Keep it real
Yesterday started off with a number of e-mails exchanged by me and my agent (my younger son, Dante, that is). He was off and running with a list of things he needed from me to get started on this cookie business. A list of six cookies with descriptions of each..twitter style...meaning 140 characters only. We have to know how many cookies fit in different size tins...cost of tins, cost of cookie ingredients, pricing for each. He had a rough draft of an order form and we needed to create a menu of sorts with those cookie descriptions.
The e-mails went to and fro until it got to the point I couldn't do any more until after work. So after I was able to get away from my few short (but lovely) minutes at my desk I went and made a test batch of cookies. I amazed myself how quickly I was able to get them mixed up. I obviously know this recipe quite well. It made the exact number I had expected. Now the tin test...how many fit? I had never counted them before. It was just a matter of filling the tin and counting the cookies. Then I went to order tins and got stuck. I called Dante. He was on his way home but instead came over. I pulled my laptop from my desk and set up in the kitchen. We created a label. We figured the cost of packaging. We tried to get as close to a cookie cost as possible. We ordered tins. We filled a trial cello of a bakers dozen. We searched other cookie sites to compare retail pricing. We came up with a number. I realized the time was almost 8:00pm. I hadn't even thought about or started dinner!
So we tried to wrap up but it took a little longer - doesn't it always? I don't know where the time went. It seemed we got a lot accomplished and even after he left, we were on the phone again shortly after again.
It makes me smile. Whatever the outcome will be fine with me. I can't say there are any expectations one way or another, except that it has been exciting and fun...and real. Dante thinks this go around will work and he said it well in the last e-mail he sent to me after all the questions. He told me I had already done the hard part and developed the cookies - the rest were just details.
Nothing like keeping it real. How cool is that?
TT
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Stop poking
There was a lot going on when I came home from work yesterday. I couldn't park in my usual spot in the driveway because there was a landscaping truck parked blocking it. It was filled with tree branches and debris. I pulled my car up a little farther and parked on the side of the road nearer my neighbor and made my way into our house. Jay was there sitting inside while watching a small crew of three men take down a tree in the backyard. He had worriedly complained to me only a week ago how he knew the tree had died and he was nervous it might fall toward the house and do some damage. He had found someone to take care of it and haul it away. It was almost done.
It needed to be done, I knew, but the timing of having to pay out an unexpected amount to do it only helped to pain me just a bit. Not a lot, but a definite poke. By that time I had Dante on the phone quizzing me about cookies. It was no wonder I was having a hard time keeping up with his questioning since my mind was starting to swirl around costs. It was a different kind of poke I felt this time but it was still there. As I think about it now I am feeling like I am in the limbo of smallish financial issues. You see, I am also planning on making a trip to my own personal paradise this weekend and that is a whole 'nuther set of pokes in the pocketbook. It isn't a bad set and I've paid for portions of it already but it seems when you are topping it off with other ventures you hadn't timed exactly right it can throw you off for just a moment. Like not being able to park my car in it's usual spot and having to find another. But soon enough whatever has blocked my way will open up and I can move the car to it's proper spot again.
There was a lot going on in a short amount of time yesterday. There isn't any real problem with settling these small issues and they will all be soon behind me.
Besides, it wasn't too long before I was finally able to move my car to it's regular spot.
TT
It needed to be done, I knew, but the timing of having to pay out an unexpected amount to do it only helped to pain me just a bit. Not a lot, but a definite poke. By that time I had Dante on the phone quizzing me about cookies. It was no wonder I was having a hard time keeping up with his questioning since my mind was starting to swirl around costs. It was a different kind of poke I felt this time but it was still there. As I think about it now I am feeling like I am in the limbo of smallish financial issues. You see, I am also planning on making a trip to my own personal paradise this weekend and that is a whole 'nuther set of pokes in the pocketbook. It isn't a bad set and I've paid for portions of it already but it seems when you are topping it off with other ventures you hadn't timed exactly right it can throw you off for just a moment. Like not being able to park my car in it's usual spot and having to find another. But soon enough whatever has blocked my way will open up and I can move the car to it's proper spot again.
There was a lot going on in a short amount of time yesterday. There isn't any real problem with settling these small issues and they will all be soon behind me.
Besides, it wasn't too long before I was finally able to move my car to it's regular spot.
TT
Monday, July 11, 2011
Talk to my agent
It seems my time spent in the kitchen yesterday may have been a premonition of what was to come. I received an e-mail from Dante (my younger son) asking if I could make some of my cookies. He said he thought he had some people that might be interested in buying them.
I smiled. I enjoy making my cookies. I have fun coming up with the different flavor combinations and sharing them with people that truly seem to enjoy them. But I have never sold them. Dante has always been my sort-of, well, what can I call him? - agent, I guess. Or let's just say he has always been the one that will try to push me in the things I like to do (that I do for fun or give away) when he thinks there might be an actual market for it.
He has been the one asking me to finished my book. When I say I am only writing it for myself he will always say well then finish it and we will see if it's only for you. And we have had small discussions about the cookies before but this time it has gone further. When I got home he actually called me and wanted a list of possible cookie selections. He wanted me to come up with a cost. He asked about my tins or other packaging. He seems to be serious. I started trying to answer his questions and I had to think quickly because he was asking about this and then he thought about that. He thought a bakers dozen would be a good marketing idea. He was talking about the names of the cookies and what exactly do I call my 5 chocolate cookie? Then I'm stuttering...Cinque Cioccolato...except I can't seem to pronounce it. It stuck on my tongue and I'm trying to answer his questions about what I put into my PC and MAC cookies. He thought those would market well also. So I will need to spend a little time figuring some things out. If I get to bake some cookies that will be good. If he thinks he can get some orders that will be great. I have always done this for free - for people that enjoy them - so if there is some type of small token thrown in because Dante has done a little work - it's all good.
I don't have a problem with that. Besides, that small token will probably go right back to him anyway. I know he has a vacation trip at the end of the month which may be the reason this idea came up in the first place and being my agent and me being his mom... Well, his percentage might be well higher than most but would I even do it without being pushed by my agent?
TT
I smiled. I enjoy making my cookies. I have fun coming up with the different flavor combinations and sharing them with people that truly seem to enjoy them. But I have never sold them. Dante has always been my sort-of, well, what can I call him? - agent, I guess. Or let's just say he has always been the one that will try to push me in the things I like to do (that I do for fun or give away) when he thinks there might be an actual market for it.
He has been the one asking me to finished my book. When I say I am only writing it for myself he will always say well then finish it and we will see if it's only for you. And we have had small discussions about the cookies before but this time it has gone further. When I got home he actually called me and wanted a list of possible cookie selections. He wanted me to come up with a cost. He asked about my tins or other packaging. He seems to be serious. I started trying to answer his questions and I had to think quickly because he was asking about this and then he thought about that. He thought a bakers dozen would be a good marketing idea. He was talking about the names of the cookies and what exactly do I call my 5 chocolate cookie? Then I'm stuttering...Cinque Cioccolato...except I can't seem to pronounce it. It stuck on my tongue and I'm trying to answer his questions about what I put into my PC and MAC cookies. He thought those would market well also. So I will need to spend a little time figuring some things out. If I get to bake some cookies that will be good. If he thinks he can get some orders that will be great. I have always done this for free - for people that enjoy them - so if there is some type of small token thrown in because Dante has done a little work - it's all good.
I don't have a problem with that. Besides, that small token will probably go right back to him anyway. I know he has a vacation trip at the end of the month which may be the reason this idea came up in the first place and being my agent and me being his mom... Well, his percentage might be well higher than most but would I even do it without being pushed by my agent?
TT
Sunday grillin'
I was in more of a cooking mood this weekend than most. Jay is usually in charge of the kitchen on Sunday's (and Mondays) when he is off but yesterday he decided I should man up and get it done. Sure, okay, why not? I had these great Yellowfin Tuna (not the yellowtail I mentioned in error previously - yellowtail is actually a fish from the Jack family) and thought I would do my version of some summer grillin'.
Of course I must have already been in a cooking mood since I had done up these cupcakes on Saturday afternoon. Sunday breakfast wasn't far behind when I came up with this.
Then later in the day I went for the main event. I started with a homemade aioli, a cool green salad, some grilled vegetables and those great tuna steaks. A fresh peach for dessert and and it's a slightly different version of what you might get at a backyard BBQ.
Of course I must have already been in a cooking mood since I had done up these cupcakes on Saturday afternoon. Sunday breakfast wasn't far behind when I came up with this.
Then later in the day I went for the main event. I started with a homemade aioli, a cool green salad, some grilled vegetables and those great tuna steaks. A fresh peach for dessert and and it's a slightly different version of what you might get at a backyard BBQ.
I don't know. I think I might be able to hold my own around a grill and some heat. Oh! I almost forgot dessert!
Okay...so I added some whipped cream, one of those cupcakes and what's dessert without a little cherry on top?
So, pretty much I made a meal on a grill. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday.
TT
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Socially unsocial
Saturday morning - let's get moving. Okay, so I watched the clock on my nightstand go past the time I would have needed to get up and join a running group at work. There I go being un-social again. I used the time to have coffee (several cups) and actually read the few e-mails I had instead. There were only a few e-mails since I have unsubscribed to all the nonsense I was getting and it seemed to have worked and I'm not getting an inbox full on well - nonsense. Good move on my part. I then needed to do some accounting, move money here, push it there, bring it in and send it out. Done. It was still early and a good time to hit the grocery before the masses assembled. I chose the smallest store in the area. Another good move, except it seemed the early morning natives of the area were giving me looks, like I was trespassing. Who is this person, she isn't a regular and why does she think she can invade our area, watch out. One woman actually scowled at me. Maybe she was just having a bad morning having to shop early and maybe she hadn't had coffee (several cups) yet. I didn't go near her but instead went about my shopping and even had a brief conversation with a different lady that was behind me. She thought we all should be skinnier with the prices being so high. Is that how it works? I refrained from looking to see what she had purchased and hoped the check-out hurried with my yellowtail tuna steaks and Kashi Go-Lean.
So now it's a brief stop home to get things put away but I am forcing myself to be a little social and go to the gym instead of hoofing it outside right now. It might prove to be slightly more social since there will be others there but I really don't expect any socialization to go on. Hopefully, no one will scowl at me. I can get it out of the way before lunch and then, well and then...whatever it might be it will hopefully be another good move on my part.
It seems to be going well so far if you discount the scowling.
TT
So now it's a brief stop home to get things put away but I am forcing myself to be a little social and go to the gym instead of hoofing it outside right now. It might prove to be slightly more social since there will be others there but I really don't expect any socialization to go on. Hopefully, no one will scowl at me. I can get it out of the way before lunch and then, well and then...whatever it might be it will hopefully be another good move on my part.
It seems to be going well so far if you discount the scowling.
TT
Friday, July 8, 2011
Just regular tired
This time last week I was so tired I couldn't think. The long weekend had arrived and I had hopes of getting measurable things done. Measurable. As it goes more often than not, the only thing that I got done measurably was nothing. Can you actually measure that? Well, if you could it would be the only thing I got gone and if you can't than, well, I still will have done nothing. Too tired.
A week later I'm not so tired. I'm not sure I'll get all that much done but at least I won't be held back by extreme exhaustion. Hopefully...well, no. I know there was a definite difference from the way I felt then and the way I feel now. I'm not so tired now. Just regular tired. You know. End of the week tired but not...okay. Maybe I don't need to get into my levels of tiredness and why/how/can they be measured.
The only thing I need now is a shower and book. Not at the same time. First shower...then book. And yes, I finished the book from the last post (thankfully!). I've started another different book and it is going much better, thank you. I did recently receive a note saying I might be interested in a site called shelfari. I am not the silly, oh-someone said I should do this so let me jump into it, type of person anymore. Learned the hard way. I did some research and I can't find enough information to make me want to join. It seems to be a book library, lending, storing, site that has recently merged with amazon. You can link up with other people to suggest books or have them suggested, I guess. It claims to be the social network for book readers. NIX. Sorry, wrong answer. I am not socially network acceptable. I've proven it - twice. I took it's little tour (which said nothing) and it wanted me to sign in. NOPE. I don't sign in to anything anymore without knowing what will happen afterward. It doesn't always turn out to be a good thing. But for now...a relaxing evening.
Shower, book, night-night.
TT
A week later I'm not so tired. I'm not sure I'll get all that much done but at least I won't be held back by extreme exhaustion. Hopefully...well, no. I know there was a definite difference from the way I felt then and the way I feel now. I'm not so tired now. Just regular tired. You know. End of the week tired but not...okay. Maybe I don't need to get into my levels of tiredness and why/how/can they be measured.
The only thing I need now is a shower and book. Not at the same time. First shower...then book. And yes, I finished the book from the last post (thankfully!). I've started another different book and it is going much better, thank you. I did recently receive a note saying I might be interested in a site called shelfari. I am not the silly, oh-someone said I should do this so let me jump into it, type of person anymore. Learned the hard way. I did some research and I can't find enough information to make me want to join. It seems to be a book library, lending, storing, site that has recently merged with amazon. You can link up with other people to suggest books or have them suggested, I guess. It claims to be the social network for book readers. NIX. Sorry, wrong answer. I am not socially network acceptable. I've proven it - twice. I took it's little tour (which said nothing) and it wanted me to sign in. NOPE. I don't sign in to anything anymore without knowing what will happen afterward. It doesn't always turn out to be a good thing. But for now...a relaxing evening.
Shower, book, night-night.
TT
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Is it over yet?
Maybe I should be writing now but I have to finish the book I am currently reading. No, you don't understand. I have to finish this book. I need to finish it. There is no way to end this book unless I finish reading it. It needs to be over and done with!
I am not necessarily enjoying this book. In fact, I still have 178 pages left until I get to the end and that isn't many but it won't be over until I do. And I SO want it to be over. It should be over already. I'm beginning to wonder what happen to the story part in this book. It got lost somewhere in the thoughts of the characters. The story could be done, finished, I might (maybe) have enjoyed the story of this book except I am tired of weeding through the characters thoughts to try to get to it. It should be done and it isn't.
Here is what is happening. The story is going along. Different portions of the plot is revealed and I read more to find out where that plot might be going. I need to keep reading to try to discover through the characters what is happening and what will take place to uncover what is happening in the story. Fair enough, right? That is what should happen. But the characters are just plain full of themselves. How irritating. Every single one of them and there are quite a few! How could they all be so self-absorbed. Let's say a character goes to answer the phone. Great! Some action...they hear it ring, go to pick it up and bam! while the phone is ringing they go off to some place that reminds them of the time they spent with their aging grandmother on a deserted island and had to take pills to keep from dehydrating because the sun was so hot and then five pages later and alot of information that has nothing to do with anything they go back and answer the phone in present time. "Hello?"
Huh?! Did we have to hear all about that while waiting for you to cross the room to answer the phone? Really? Why? What does it have to do with anything? I don't even like you. You make me NOT like you. I don't care about your aging grandmother and I don't even care why you might have been on a deserted island. It has nothing to do with the story and it seems ridiculous that that is what might have happened to you and why the heck did a phone ringing remind you of it!!!
So I need to stop writing now. I have to go finish a book.
Please let me finish this book.
TT
I am not necessarily enjoying this book. In fact, I still have 178 pages left until I get to the end and that isn't many but it won't be over until I do. And I SO want it to be over. It should be over already. I'm beginning to wonder what happen to the story part in this book. It got lost somewhere in the thoughts of the characters. The story could be done, finished, I might (maybe) have enjoyed the story of this book except I am tired of weeding through the characters thoughts to try to get to it. It should be done and it isn't.
Here is what is happening. The story is going along. Different portions of the plot is revealed and I read more to find out where that plot might be going. I need to keep reading to try to discover through the characters what is happening and what will take place to uncover what is happening in the story. Fair enough, right? That is what should happen. But the characters are just plain full of themselves. How irritating. Every single one of them and there are quite a few! How could they all be so self-absorbed. Let's say a character goes to answer the phone. Great! Some action...they hear it ring, go to pick it up and bam! while the phone is ringing they go off to some place that reminds them of the time they spent with their aging grandmother on a deserted island and had to take pills to keep from dehydrating because the sun was so hot and then five pages later and alot of information that has nothing to do with anything they go back and answer the phone in present time. "Hello?"
Huh?! Did we have to hear all about that while waiting for you to cross the room to answer the phone? Really? Why? What does it have to do with anything? I don't even like you. You make me NOT like you. I don't care about your aging grandmother and I don't even care why you might have been on a deserted island. It has nothing to do with the story and it seems ridiculous that that is what might have happened to you and why the heck did a phone ringing remind you of it!!!
So I need to stop writing now. I have to go finish a book.
Please let me finish this book.
TT
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Wasn't working
I am sad to say I had to part with something new in my life. This was something I had been trying to avoid. I had to correct a situation and I needed to act on it before it went too far and it would be too late.
I returned by brand new iPod Nano 6th generation. I put it in a box and shipped it back from whence it came. It didn't make me happy to do it but I had no choice. It could have been something I would have kept a very long time. I could see the benefits of having such a compact, thoroughly advanced piece of technology. But it wasn't working out. I admit I might have overlooked a few idiosyncrasies at the beginning. I thought it was just going to take some getting used to and I turned a blind eye to a few things for the short time it was in my possession. Then it did something I couldn't ignore.
I was pleasantly listening to some music. I was enjoying my tunes coming over my earbuds while plugged into my newest device. Things were going along splendidly. Then the volume went down to nothing. It just diminished until I couldn't hear anything anymore. I looked down at the tiny device and pumped up the volume. It came back to the level I pressed it into and then immediately slid down the scale to nothingness again. I pumped it up again and it slid down. I pumped it up, down, up, down, up, down...it was turning into a ridiculous contest of who would win the volume control.
I lost. No matter how I raised the volume it would automatically barrel down to zero. I couldn't hear a thing. I knew that was the end. I was still within my time frame to get an entire refund.
That was when I realized all the things that had been happening that I had tried to ignore. I knew it had lost a charge too quickly when I first got it. I knew the touch screen seemed a little sluggish when I tried to end my workouts while using it. I knew I had been trying to ignore any bad that was presenting itself and only view the good I wanted to see. But I reached the point I couldn't ignore the bad any longer. I made the decision to let it go and that is when I put it in a box and shipped it back from whence it came. It could have worked out so differently but I wasn't seeing it for what it was. I was making it out to be something it could never be, at least not this one. It wasn't working.
No literally. It wasn't working! Who wants a music device if it turns off it's own volume? It seemed pretty cut and dry to me. I was sad but I was more than a little angry, too. What a waste! I should have gotten rid of it at the first signs of anything not being just right. I should have...
I returned my iPod Nano touch screen 6th generation.
TT
I returned by brand new iPod Nano 6th generation. I put it in a box and shipped it back from whence it came. It didn't make me happy to do it but I had no choice. It could have been something I would have kept a very long time. I could see the benefits of having such a compact, thoroughly advanced piece of technology. But it wasn't working out. I admit I might have overlooked a few idiosyncrasies at the beginning. I thought it was just going to take some getting used to and I turned a blind eye to a few things for the short time it was in my possession. Then it did something I couldn't ignore.
I was pleasantly listening to some music. I was enjoying my tunes coming over my earbuds while plugged into my newest device. Things were going along splendidly. Then the volume went down to nothing. It just diminished until I couldn't hear anything anymore. I looked down at the tiny device and pumped up the volume. It came back to the level I pressed it into and then immediately slid down the scale to nothingness again. I pumped it up again and it slid down. I pumped it up, down, up, down, up, down...it was turning into a ridiculous contest of who would win the volume control.
I lost. No matter how I raised the volume it would automatically barrel down to zero. I couldn't hear a thing. I knew that was the end. I was still within my time frame to get an entire refund.
That was when I realized all the things that had been happening that I had tried to ignore. I knew it had lost a charge too quickly when I first got it. I knew the touch screen seemed a little sluggish when I tried to end my workouts while using it. I knew I had been trying to ignore any bad that was presenting itself and only view the good I wanted to see. But I reached the point I couldn't ignore the bad any longer. I made the decision to let it go and that is when I put it in a box and shipped it back from whence it came. It could have worked out so differently but I wasn't seeing it for what it was. I was making it out to be something it could never be, at least not this one. It wasn't working.
No literally. It wasn't working! Who wants a music device if it turns off it's own volume? It seemed pretty cut and dry to me. I was sad but I was more than a little angry, too. What a waste! I should have gotten rid of it at the first signs of anything not being just right. I should have...
I returned my iPod Nano touch screen 6th generation.
TT
Free time
I've cleared a section of my desk that I had cluttered with my notes and binder and index cards and random papers with notes. It didn't take nearly as much time as I would have thought. I read through most of what I had and then gathered them together and put them aside. They don't really contain any more than I already have going on, or learned, or know at this point. I seem to keep on reminding myself of the same things and have become my own broken record or now-a-days that would be my own song on repeat, looping around to the same tune over and again.
I got it already. At least I have enough at this point to not have to continually remind myself of every last detail or be my own cheerleader to keep the confidence level just above the line to keep me from quitting. It seems crazily ridiculous because the only one I'd be quitting on would be myself if that is what I decided to do. (Insert smile here).
I used an application called one note to organize my binder, index cards and various papers on line. It's easier to organize and add/edit then my handwritten lines pages in my binder. It took some time to enter all of it but now that I have it done I can see where it might work.
So there is more room on my desk, it doesn't look like a disorganized mess and total distraction. I also went through my e-mails and unsubscribed to all the notes I got that I didn't really need to see. It's made a difference already. So I've been clearing paths and decluttering all around me. More room, less clutter, less distractions. It might work itself into a formula for more time. I could sure use more of that if it's free.
TT
I got it already. At least I have enough at this point to not have to continually remind myself of every last detail or be my own cheerleader to keep the confidence level just above the line to keep me from quitting. It seems crazily ridiculous because the only one I'd be quitting on would be myself if that is what I decided to do. (Insert smile here).
I used an application called one note to organize my binder, index cards and various papers on line. It's easier to organize and add/edit then my handwritten lines pages in my binder. It took some time to enter all of it but now that I have it done I can see where it might work.
So there is more room on my desk, it doesn't look like a disorganized mess and total distraction. I also went through my e-mails and unsubscribed to all the notes I got that I didn't really need to see. It's made a difference already. So I've been clearing paths and decluttering all around me. More room, less clutter, less distractions. It might work itself into a formula for more time. I could sure use more of that if it's free.
TT
Monday, July 4, 2011
Random card
I've been searching my desk for a random index card that might have some type of idea I can go with and write about this morning. I should really be using that time instead to just clear my desk and get the other half of it cleaned up. I will, I will. I say that and then I think I should go out and pull those few weeds that have popped up at the very front of the lawn before it gets too, too hot today.
I don't really have a lot of energy. I was hoping this three day weekend would prove to be energizing and I could use my free time to do lot's of thing that I wanted to do. Instead I was rudely awakened by how very tired I have been and how I've managed to push it off until I had time to be able to do nothing except try to regain some strength of mind. I cannot tell you what I did yesterday except that, to me, it felt like I was sick and only wanted to stay in bed with a cup of hot tea and chicken soup. I felt exhausted and it wasn't so much as bodily as it was mental. But, hey, that was yesterday and who wants to hear about that anyway?
Today, this morning, I will go get those weeds taken care of. I'll take it a little slower and maybe opt for the gym later for a run instead of heading out now and I may even have time to clear the other half of my desk. But no promises.
I'll let you know if I find a random index card with an idea I can go with.
TT
I don't really have a lot of energy. I was hoping this three day weekend would prove to be energizing and I could use my free time to do lot's of thing that I wanted to do. Instead I was rudely awakened by how very tired I have been and how I've managed to push it off until I had time to be able to do nothing except try to regain some strength of mind. I cannot tell you what I did yesterday except that, to me, it felt like I was sick and only wanted to stay in bed with a cup of hot tea and chicken soup. I felt exhausted and it wasn't so much as bodily as it was mental. But, hey, that was yesterday and who wants to hear about that anyway?
Today, this morning, I will go get those weeds taken care of. I'll take it a little slower and maybe opt for the gym later for a run instead of heading out now and I may even have time to clear the other half of my desk. But no promises.
I'll let you know if I find a random index card with an idea I can go with.
TT
Sunday, July 3, 2011
No mad characters
The book I am currently reading has a character that is a writer. He is a reserved type of person and I came to a part of the book where he is asked what he does for a living. He regretted having to say that he was a writer. He thought that it always came off as if he was showing off and the other thing was that it always seemed to make for a dead-end conversation. It had the inevitable path of where he was asked, Really? Writer? Where do you get your ideas? People thought it was glamorous except the character knew it was anything but that. What could be glamorous about sitting alone in a room all day, trying not to go mad?
I certainly grinned at that. I can certainly understand where he might be coming from. My only problem (not that it will be a problem since I will never have to say I write for a living – wouldn’t that be glamorous!) is that I am already beyond trying not to go mad. The madness is already here to stay and there was little to no trying about it.
I had someone ask me the other day if an incident had freaked me out. My reply was that I have long lived in an almost constant state of freak-out. I may not always be obvious about it, I may cover it very well, but let’s face it, I have some sort of underlying freakish way about how I might interrupt some ideas. Even though I realize that, you may not see me waving the white flag of surrender (make that never) but I may retreat for a while and you’ll never know where I’ve gone or why. Most likely it will be back to sitting alone in my room all day, trying not to go mad, writing, and trying to figure out why I got freaked out.
It’s not really such a bad thing. I will find something creative to do to calm the freak-outs every time. I’ve done it a long time in different forms. Writing is just one way for me like reading is another. And if you don’t think my reading can be creative then you don’t understand that every book I come across has something I use or store away or learn from to use later.
Hmm, maybe that is why the recent books I’ve read seemed too long and less relaxing. I’ve come to use a lot of the fiction I read as research and text books. No wonder they are putting me to sleep! I never liked school and just to make it worse, this is self-inflicted instruction wrapped in fictional ideas. I've got to pick some better books. Maybe I need to pick books that don't have writers as characters or at least ones without characters that are trying not to go mad.
TT
I certainly grinned at that. I can certainly understand where he might be coming from. My only problem (not that it will be a problem since I will never have to say I write for a living – wouldn’t that be glamorous!) is that I am already beyond trying not to go mad. The madness is already here to stay and there was little to no trying about it.
I had someone ask me the other day if an incident had freaked me out. My reply was that I have long lived in an almost constant state of freak-out. I may not always be obvious about it, I may cover it very well, but let’s face it, I have some sort of underlying freakish way about how I might interrupt some ideas. Even though I realize that, you may not see me waving the white flag of surrender (make that never) but I may retreat for a while and you’ll never know where I’ve gone or why. Most likely it will be back to sitting alone in my room all day, trying not to go mad, writing, and trying to figure out why I got freaked out.
It’s not really such a bad thing. I will find something creative to do to calm the freak-outs every time. I’ve done it a long time in different forms. Writing is just one way for me like reading is another. And if you don’t think my reading can be creative then you don’t understand that every book I come across has something I use or store away or learn from to use later.
Hmm, maybe that is why the recent books I’ve read seemed too long and less relaxing. I’ve come to use a lot of the fiction I read as research and text books. No wonder they are putting me to sleep! I never liked school and just to make it worse, this is self-inflicted instruction wrapped in fictional ideas. I've got to pick some better books. Maybe I need to pick books that don't have writers as characters or at least ones without characters that are trying not to go mad.
TT
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Take advantage
Good morning, July! It is now halfway through this year already! The last week of June proved to be long and very tiring. In fact, as hard as I tried to sit and write yesterday after work I just couldn't produce anything sensible. Believe me, I tried. It just didn't work. I thought coming into this long weekend I would have been energized and inspired. It was so far from the case. I am not convinced that I am inspired now but it is slightly better than yesterday afternoon, that's for sure.
I will have my coffee and go out for a run this morning. That is as far as I have gotten with my list of tasks to complete. That alone seems to loom large at the moment. Maybe I will go to that new bakery and sit with my laptop and have another coffee after my run. That is an option I can mull over while I'm running. I'll think about it. Or I'll think of something else.
I have three whole days to figure it out and it's the start of a new half of the year. I have the next hour of so on the agenda and can build it as I go. Time and options. It's seems to have been a while since I've had both. Let me see how I can take advantage of it.
TT
I will have my coffee and go out for a run this morning. That is as far as I have gotten with my list of tasks to complete. That alone seems to loom large at the moment. Maybe I will go to that new bakery and sit with my laptop and have another coffee after my run. That is an option I can mull over while I'm running. I'll think about it. Or I'll think of something else.
I have three whole days to figure it out and it's the start of a new half of the year. I have the next hour of so on the agenda and can build it as I go. Time and options. It's seems to have been a while since I've had both. Let me see how I can take advantage of it.
TT
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