Get a grip

I was almost about to set myself up for disaster. I was scrolling through some other blogs and came across one where the woman mentioned not blogging lately but with good reason. She went on to say it was because she was taking an intense master class in fiction writing.
I amaze myself sometimes on how well I can turn my amped up confidence into mush. I am not sure exactly why the fact that she was taking a fiction writing class (a master class no less) would undermine anything I am currently doing but I felt the wave of uncertainty come over me. It was that familiar, I am not worthy so I should give it up feeling. I don’t know why I was in immediate competition with her but I knew instantly that she was not just winning but lengths ahead of me. What other choice did I have but to hang it up, I’ll never catch up! Why did I feel I had to be at the same point as this person I knew nothing about?
Luckily, I didn’t dwell in the land of pity me for too long. No, maybe I am not at the point where I could even consider a master class but then what does or doesn’t that mean? More importantly, what does it mean to me?
I think it means I still have a very strong desire to learn more and do better with my writing. I think it means I need to keep working at it. I think it means too much to me to stop now where I might have in the past.
Confidence is a slippery thing I am getting a better grip on.
More importantly, so is writing.
TT