The story continues

I wrote on Chapter two of my book yesterday. I forged forward, got past all the reading of chapter one and found my spot where I needed to pick up the story again. I have to say it was a halting flow. I got two pages written by the time I was finished and came to a stopping place, but I had the sensation of being watched the entire time. I kept waiting for someone to come up, read over my shoulder and say, “You better stop, shake their head and walk away.” I am not sure why I couldn’t settle down and just get into the flow of what I was doing. I guess I have to get over my jitters and give myself a chance to fit in again. I guess. I hope.
Even the simple task of reading through chapter one without a single keystroke change was almost impossible. I can see so many things that need to be re-arranged and re-worded and re-done. I did manage to stick to the course and made my way through it without changing a single thing (yet). It wasn’t an easy chore.
I am not one to leave something I know isn’t “done” properly. I will usually fix it or chuck it. I will need to learn to treat this differently. I thought I already wrapped my mind around that concept but I keep getting the urge to fall back into that bad habit of doing it right, fixing it, or stopping. Not a really good bunch of options right now when I know I have to keep writing – going forward.
But Chapter two has definitely been started with real words and progression. I had a few false starts last week when I couldn’t even get past the reading of Chapter one. This time I am at least putting words on the page and creating that forward motion.
So halting jitters or not, the story continues. I’ll do the re-arranging, re-wording and re-doing when there is something more substantial to do it to.
I just need to follow rule number one right now: I need to write.
TT