Not pretty

I knew it wouldn't be pretty.  I also knew I felt I had to go.
I had entered a raffle at work over a month ago and won registration to a 5K.  I actually entered two separate raffles for two separate 5K's and won both.  I didn't expect to win but my idea at the time of entering was if I won, it would force me to run outdoors in February two Saturdays in a row.
The first 5K was this morning and even though I have been able to run outdoors a few times this past week I knew I was off my game.  I have been struggling with my stride, my breathing, my distance.  I have felt like I am at the beginning again.  So I had thoughts last night about the 5K this morning and if I really wanted to even attempt it.  But I felt I had to go since I would have robbed someone else of the chance to go since I had won the raffle.
So I got up this morning knowing it was drizzling and knew it wouldn't be pretty.  But I was going and I would finish and that would be done.
I found my way downtown and it was a pleasant surprise that they offered parking.  I was expecting to have to find and pay for parking but that wasn't the case.  Nice surprise.  I got there, picked up my packet and put the timer on my shoe.  I met up with some others from work that also won the raffle.  It was nice to see them.  We waited for the starting gun and soon it went off and so did all the gathered runners.
I felt a little better about my stride at the beginning.  The thought shot through my mind, 'there, there...my longer stride'...that felt better.  I kept up and was going moderately well but then with just 3/4 of a mile left to go I started huffing and puffing.  I have been having problems at this same exact point lately.  I knew I needed to keep working through it and somehow I was able to get past it with a push right through to the finish line.

I started the race thinking my performance wasn't going to be good but there is something about going through that digital clock of a finish line that does something to me.  All my thoughts of not going and not being up to par were dashed away as soon as I ran under that marker.
Am I still needing to work at this?  Am I still going to have to re-build my endurance?  Am I in for some tough work-outs?  Yes, yes and yes.  But there will be a finish line at each of those things that I will eventually run through and soon past.  Sometimes you just have to make yourself get up and go.
And as negative as I was feeling about this 5K and how much I knew it wouldn't be pretty...well, I don't know how, but I came in 3rd place in my age group.
Go figure.
TT