Enough

I have been going through my notes because I keep creeping closer to making myself feel it is okay to start writing my major project. As I was searching through my notes I came across this sentence that I had written which stung me it was so truthful. I wrote about myself. I feel I haven’t done enough. Never enough.

I was talking generally. I was talking about everything. But this time when I saw it, I looked at it from another angle. I looked at it by how I was applying that to my writing. I do feel it’s never enough. I would like to have outlined, sketched out, characterized, and written every scene and passage down. I wish I was pounding out thoughts as they flowed and every word shaped the whole as I pictured it. I would like to have stacks of chapters completed and ready for another pass through.

When will everything I have done to get to this starting point be enough? I feel I haven’t done enough. But I have done enough. I have done enough to get me here and I will keep on doing enough to get a little further. Right now, I am at the perfect spot to keep going.

I will keep working my thoughts and organizing them. I may write a scene that has been playing in my head to fit in later. It’s not just okay for me to start, but I have already started by continuing to work on it.

I am giving myself permission for that to be enough for now.

TT