Competition began

Wow, am I in a hurry today? I have more time than usual but I seem to be rushing. I feel like I need to catch up. I know I just need to take a breath and pause. I wanted some extra time to gather some thoughts this morning and I may have put myself into gear a little too quickly. Now I need to slow down a little just to be able to think. Stop. Hold on a minute. Yeah that, breath...

I've got these thoughts in my head again for my story. It's mainly ideas about some characters I knew I would be using but I'm coming up with ideas about how they would be influential to the main character. I am having ideas about what I want to write about these characters as I introduce them that will weave itself into what happens later in the story. That story, you know, the one that's been in my head. The story that I've barely got more than a page of an outline for. And now I feel like I don't have enough time to get it all down. I know I'll have to get up from here and not have another moment for a while. Will the ideas keep? It's not like I can wrap them up, seal them tight, and hope they will be fine whenever I'm ready. Or maybe it will be fine. It's not like I've forgotten everything I've already have working on. I seem to be getting more ideas. I know, I know...I do this to myself.

Jay reminded me the other day how competitive I was. We were actually talking about my running but it applies to most things I do. He didn't actually mean I was competitive with others. He was talking about how competitive I am with myself. I'm not sure if it's good or bad. I guess I've done it so long I never thought of it at all - well, actually I think about everything too much. That's where I over process. Is it impatience? Do I get tired of waiting on myself to get things done? Here I go...questioning everything again. Aren't you tired of this? You would think I would be. You would think, but no.

So, I've got to get these story/character ideas down now. I need to put them down in some kind of order so I can come back to them later and understand where I was taking them. I'm getting a little anxious about the time I have right now. So I need break away because I've managed somehow to let my competition begin again.

TT