Shy?

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday. My day. Do what I want, when I want, all by my lonesome. If I choose. It's the day I have to myself since Jay, my husband, works on Saturdays. I guess I struggle with it sometimes but not really. I love having that free time, that Garbo - I want to be alone - time. Get out of my face, I don't want to be social, I don't need constant interaction day. It drives me to boredom sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I don't turn into a recluse. I get out and spend time on Saturdays doing things alone but out. I especially like shopping in open air retail areas. I get to look around, I get to notice other people, I even get to have some short but interesting conversations with people I've never met and may never see again. No pressure, no expectations and I get to notice things I was always too busy to stop and see before. So I get to be very free and easy about it. And I have tons more confidence that I ever had before.

But I wasn't always. I have friends that knew me way back when I wouldn't, couldn't, didn't dare say a word to anyone. Yes, believe it. Very shy, very quiet. One of my best friends from back then told me her first impression of me was that I was stuck up since I wouldn't say anything. I just didn't know what to say. What could I possibly say that would be interesting? Why would anyone want to hear a word I had to say? Wow...what's happened since then? Well, that friend is still very close and I don't believe she thinks I'm stuck up anymore. I'm not really sure how long that impression really lasted. I'll have to ask her. But then it would seem it was too much about me. It doesn't really matter anymore, we are way beyond that.

It was funny how I was talking about the fact that I was so shy ages ago. I was involved with theatre then and could step into roles and play to packed (and sometimes not so packed) houses of people I didn't know without a glimmer of a problem. I could get up on stage and not have a single nervous inkling except the normal adrenaline you get before performing. That being said, I had to drop a speech class in college during that same time before the first assignment was due because I couldn't get up to face the class with my own speech. My own words terrified me but not the scripts and characters I played on stage - whatever they happened to be.

But I think it's about time for me to head out now. I might have an opportunity to strike up some pleasantries with strangers. I've come a long way, baby.

TT
-------------------------------------
Postscript: I did actually end up talking with another lady during a Zumba class today. We were somewhere in the middle of all the music and motion when she turned to me and said, "This sure gives us an excuse to do these moves." We were in the middle of a lot of pelvic motion and hip movement ala belly dancing. "Sure does, I said, a good excuse." we talked a bit more as we tried to keep up with the dance moves. She lent me one of her coin covered hip wraps that moves with you. I never asked, she just had another one and let me use it. I told you these things just happen to me.