Functioning lunatic

There is no other way to describe myself this week except as a functioning lunatic. I will be copyrighting that phrase so don't think you can use it without sending me an email. My address is right there to the right of my home page here so there are no acceptable excuses for using it and not telling me. I will track you down if you don't.
But, yes, it has not been a good week for me. Exactly a week ago I had an outpatient procedure done in which I felt extraordinarily good the day after. I was amazed how well and quickly I had recovered. I didn't really. I felt progressively worse as the days went on. I don't know how to recover from anything since I have been lucky enough to never have had to deal with it before. I am too healthy, too delusional, too much a lunatic.
I felt bad. I managed to go to work but physically I felt bad.
So I had to allow myself to take it easy and hope for it to go away. It lingered for days and early on I also managed to pinch a muscle in my lower back. It wasn't enough to stop me from doing anything but a constant dull ache to add to everything else. Did I say how bad I felt? I don’t usually feel so bad or say so - but I did.
Then I got the emotional blow. I was talking in general terms about this blog to Jay. He let me talk for a while but finally tells me he thinks it's done. I am done with the blog. It has served its purpose as a tool, given me some discipline, and I don't need it anymore.
I was stunned and sad and internally questioning myself inside and out. I became a functioning lunatic. I was feeling bad physically and then I was mentally ripped. Was I really done? If he said so I must be. No one had said otherwise.
My biggest problem with feedback is that I actually listen to it. When someone makes a suggestion or let’s me know what I should do, I considered it very thoroughly. I don’t discount anyone’s suggestions. I think Jay might have thought it was stressing me and wanted to say I could stop if I wanted to, but he didn’t say it like that. So I took it the way it was said. It served its purpose and I was done. I can be extremely literal.
Somehow I managed to go on accomplishing everything I needed to get done all week long without a glimmer of anyone guessing there might be the slightest problem. It was a bit much for me. Did I mention I was feeling bad and then I was internalizing about having to stop blogging?
So I was a functioning lunatic for a while.
At least this time I had a better excuse than I normally do. Sometimes there is no excuse.
TT
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I had to laugh at myself when I re-read: I was stunned and sad and internally questioning myself inside and out.  Really? internally - inside & out?  I was thinking I need to post the warning signs of being a functioning lunatic...this being at least one...