Tribute to mom

I wrote this piece back in July of 2007. It had been three years since my Mom had past away and I was feeling a little lost but proud. I had emailed it to a few of my close friends and begged that they not think I was too maudlin and that it was just something that I couldn't get out of my head until I wrote it down. Since today would have been her birthday, I thought it appropriate to post.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My mom would have been 80 this July 25th. She was of the sort that should have lived to 95 or so. She was that strong, tenacious, intelligent.

She had a sophistication that could be arrogant. It showed in what she wore and in her attitude. She had a career when women stayed at home, yet raised 6 children. She did it in a way that would be considered old fashioned - dinner was always made-at-home and served at 6:00pm even though she got off at 5:00.

She had a lot of the old domestic ways about her, yet always took them to a higher level. She not only cooked, but catered large parties. She didn’t just garden, but was a master gardener. She not only could knit, needlepoint, crochet, and sew but designed.

She inspired me in creative ways I’ve tried to run from, but can’t. I cook dinner, I feel horrid pangs of guilt when I look at what was once my garden and my designer shopping seems to have replaced the time I had previously used for crocheting and sewing.

I miss our early Saturday morning phone conversations. She would call me or I her, to guess what…find out what each other was working on in the yard, or what was on the menu for dinner. I can’t grab the phone anytime now to ask, “What exactly did I forget to put in this sauce”? Small things are missed the most, and pierce the deepest.

I have an attic full of her things that I immediately packed when she past away. I kept saying I was going to organize it and see what was to sell, trade or keep. It’s been three years and I haven’t made one trip up to use anything that’s there. It’s time to let it all go – no matter what it is. It was never really mine. It all belonged to that strong, independent, self-confident woman that was my mother.

So hears to you, mom. For giving me the examples I needed to live life with such drive and passion. And, oh…I’ve gotten a few calls from that grandson of yours’ asking me what he forgot in that sauce.
_____________________________________________
I've come a way in the past five years. It's been hard, I won't deny it. But how good is it when you come through and find yourself rich with all the things you found along the way when you thought everything had been taken away.

Happy Birthday, Mom. To you and every other person that made someone feel like it was Christmas in July just by having them around.

TT