Again

I went into work yesterday after a week of vacation and found out they had adopted the jeans day as an approved way of dressing everyday.  It is now perfectly okay to wear your denim everyday of the week at work instead of just on Fridays.  I'm not sure I'm especially thrilled about the idea but it had me thinking about my next shopping trip.

Then my mind wandered away.  Not then, but right now.  I left this page and went in search of my story documents.  I took the long way to find them by checking two other sites first.  I piddled around on those sites for a few minutes each knowing I was just stalling.  When I finally got myself to really look for what I wanted I found I had moved the location of where I had it stored.  It took a few more minutes to stop and find it and then put it back in it's proper place.  Okay, it didn't take long at all but that one instantaneous moment of panic when I realized it wasn't where it was supposed to be made it seem so. 
I don't know what is holding me back on working on this more consistently than anything else I do.  I can't seem to figure out why I've been able to get so many other things done except that my writing part always gets left behind.  That horrible voice I hear is hammering away at me saying it's the fear factor.  It's that, you can't do this, why try, voice.  It's that voice that says, you have no motivation to do this so give it up.  It's so persistent and it has worked a number on me for so long.  And if that is all true, why do I feel myself wanting to go back and do more?  Why do I search for documents I haven't opened to re-read the last few bits and want to immediately add to it?  Why does the thought to even open the documents still go through my head?  If I were done with working on it...I'd be done.
So something has got to give.  Again.  Maybe I should have a stare down with that fear factor.  I've managed it with running.  How many Saturdays do I go out to do 8 miles and push myself to do 10 instead.  Maybe I'm not quite that far along with the writing.  Maybe it's more getting myself there to run at all instead of how far I will go.  Again.
I know I'm going to do something.  I have to keep focused on the doing and not think so much about everything else.  If there was only some way to block that horrible voice.
TT