Move along

Oh come on, already! I am saying that to myself. Have you ever found yourself doing things to keep yourself from the thing you know you should be doing? I think there is a dictionary of words that could be used to describe this behavior. Let me see, I think they might be putting it off, procrastinating, delaying, dragging my feet, dawdling, finding excuses to avoid. I think you might get the picture. I have been finding myself doing these things and the most frustrating part about it is that I know I am doing just that.
I know what I should and want to be doing, but I have been doing all of those other things to keep me from getting to it. Why is that?!
It’s another one of those barricades I go to all the trouble of carting out to the middle of my own pathway to stop myself or slow myself down. It would be fine if there was a good reason to slow down but I seem to do this out of the blue and for no apparent reason. It’s almost as if I am going happily along then think, oh no, stop. I shouldn’t be having this much fun now so I better find a reason to fret.
I really don’t like fretting. I really don’t like whining. I wish I could say I never do either of those things yet here I am. And what exactly am I whining and fretting about?
It might be just the tiniest flash of fear. That old manta swirling in my head whispering… what are you doing…you can’t do that…it’s getting too hard and you aren’t getting it done right. But I am getting it done even with the stops and starts and pauses and dawdling. And that is the only thing I really need to do right now. I just need to keep getting it done.
So I say to myself, Oh come on, already! Again. And push myself forward along that path.
Come on.
TT