Forward

I was doing perfectly fine. I'm was in the middle of doing all the things that are highest on my priority lists right now and doing them well. I've got my personal obsession with exercise going strong again. It helps to know I am getting into shape. I've found some motivation on that front. It feels good and I look forward to doing more. It's that place I was searching for but couldn't seem to find for so long. It's happening.

I'm doing some writing. I admit it isn't where I want it to be but I've been consistant about putting something down. I've stayed with it and ignored the horrid voices in my head when they told me to pack it up and move on down the road to another place. I'm also looking forward to even the small amounts of time I spend on it each day. That has to be some kind of progress, right?

I have all these things going right. And then, like yesterday, something comes along that throws you off kilter. The next two weeks might prove to be a little more than just difficult. I didn't expect that niggling feeling in my stomach. I knew this occurance would be happening about now and it hadn't as much as crossed my mind. Then yesterday it all seemed to come at me. I don't even think I'm worried about myself but what will be happening around me. I know I will pick up where ever it leaves me but how much change will there be around me? To others? So blast.

I wish there was a place you could get to where you could become immune. I wish you could reach a spot that if you worked hard and long enough you wouldn't be affected by what goes on around you or even to you. I know that isn't realistic. There is no such place and sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you work. So what do you do? What can you do when you feel the emotions come over you like a wave in a situation that your brain knows you have no control over. I guess that's when you have to realize that there will always be times when things just happen and you have to keep walking forward.

You just have to breathe and keep walking forward.

TT