Any better

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker today. He and his wife had attended a performance of Wicked and he wanted to know if I had seen it and what I thought. Well, I tried to stop myself from gushing about how good it was on so many levels but that was a losing battle. He agreed it was very good and somehow the topic moved on to how both my younger brother and sister were in creative fields (she a dancer and instructor and he a professional pianist) and how I had left the creative fields back in my early twenties. He asked me how I felt about not going into theatre - him knowing it had been such a huge part of my life way back when. I told him I have very mixed feelings about it. I took the more conservative career approach because I always felt I needed to be financially responsible for myself and the creative field was more of a gamble in that respect. I don't know that I would ever have gotten beyond the barrier of taking that risk.

He took it in and understood. Then he asks, "What would have been different if you had decided to take the risks." I told him he was asking too many good questions. I told him I didn't think about it. It didn't happen so why figure it out. He said that was true but his thinking is that type of information might help in some personal growth now. Hmmm, now I'm thinking but I know I'm not letting it go too deep. I said, "so many things would be different." I think I said it twice and he must have known he triggered something because he said, "think about it and we can talk later." Before he walked away I said, "How am I supposed to get my work done now, and I have a lot of it!" He tried to tell me to think about it later. Yeah, easy for you to say.

But I did have a lot of work and I don't know that I want or need to go down the what if road. I've never been one for what if's and I'm not sure it would help in any personal growth. I don't know. Maybe I wish I had taken more risks...but then, so many things would be different and right now, the way things are...I must be the luckiest person around. Am I missing the point? I don't know that either.

But how could figuring out what might have been help in any growth or possibly change how perfectly everything I've done to get right to this moment make it any better?

TT
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What timing... You will not believe me but Dante (my younger son) just text'd me that he got a titled promotion. Like I said...with what is real...who care's about what if's.