Down the road

So here's the deal. I am pulling myself off of running again. I am four weeks into a 16 week training program and I have to admit that staying off my right foot for a time is really the best thing for me. It may not be the best thing for my training but I have already had a million debates in my head, pro and con, why it should go one way or the other. I finally had to break through the stubborn, you can push through it attitude and be honest. My right achilles tendon is possibly still in the process of healing and the running and increasing distances I have been putting it through is hindering that process.
I ran eight miles last Sunday and had to admit my foot was hurting the rest of the day. I then went out and ran three miles the next day and knew it wasn't right. I deluded myself into believing I was only tired on Tuesday and decided not to run. It was also easy to skip Wednesday and Thursday by thinking a few days off would be a good way to speed up the process. I thought it would be better by taking a few days off because I was tired. Yes, that was it. A lot of things had been going on and I was just weary. It had nothing to do with the rice krispy sounds that I would hear from my foot when I got up first thing in the morning. It just needed to warm up. It was stretching and it was getting used to snapping back into place. Right, of course. Four weeks of running hadn’t taught it that yet? Sure.
I realized I wasn’t enjoying my runs the way I should be and always have. Although the eight mile run was fine until the nagging pain lasted all day, the three miler the next day wasn’t fun. I was burying the fact that I knew something was wrong because I didn’t want to make the decision I knew I had to make.
I had to stop for a while. Did I want to keep running and have to stop on week 14 or 15 of my training? Wasn’t it better to stop at week 4? I can fuss and fret all through every single week but what it comes down to is that this is something I will be doing for most of the rest of my life. It isn’t about the next 16 weeks. It isn’t about the next official race. When it comes down to it, it’s about my personal race and what is the best way for me to train for that? I think the biggest deciding factor that made me wake up and make a realistic decision is when I realized…the three miler the next day wasn’t fun. I have had bad runs before but this wasn’t the same. Whenever I have had a bad run I have always thought it only meant a good one was coming up. But I could feel something was wrong with my foot as I went on with this run. It wasn’t only something wrong with my foot but it wasn’t fun.
I don’t know how long I will have to hold back and keep myself still. I only know I need to do this now so the next time I have the wonderful opportunity of pulling on my running shoes and heading out for a run it will be fun again.
I am going to try and look at it this way. Even though I am not terribly happy with my circumstances as they are right now, there is nothing quite like having something fun to look forward to.
TT