Isn't so hard

I am going to make a quick diversion from my thoughts about writing. This mainly comes from my compulsion (or sometimes total consumption) on my running workouts. To put it simply, I've felt my runs haven't been going so well. The last four days I haven't been able to get any distance even if my total workout time has been consistently good.

I'm nervous you see and I have a way of always expecting more than I'm actually able to accomplish sometimes. Is that a bad thing? At the beginning of this year I knew one of the things I wanted to do was get back into some kind of running routine. It had been six years since I had done any serious organized 5K runs and it was time for me to go back and start training for that again. I also had a goal that I would be able to accomplish a 10K run by October of this year. That was the goal.

Soon after I had started working out I accomplished a 5K run (with a really good run time - I believe their clock was off). I was searching for more races to sign up for. I found a 10K run in an area by the coast that I was totally familiar with because I go there to relax and unwind all the time. It was 4 weeks out and needless to say I was so excited I signed up right away. I researched and cut an 8 week 10K training plan down to the four and started hitting the gym. It was hard, it was tough. Running doesn't come naturally to me; it's something I have to work at mentally and physically. The week before the race the weather started to change for the worse. Instead of the nice run along the water I had envisioned, it was going to be cold and possibly raining. I was freaking out the entire week before the date I was supposed to take on this race that was double the distance I had ever done before. I had so many doubts, so many fears of failure.

I went out race day, in the cold, and accomplished the 10K run. It didn't start raining until right before I was over the finish line. I had done it.

But that brings me to now. I did another 5K since then, but I have another 10K I've signed up for in less than two weeks and my workouts have not been going too well. I can't seem to get any distance. I've not been able to push past a half way mark. I'm finding myself playing my own little mind games on myself about not being able to do it.

So, I need to wait - take a breath - regroup. I need to remember this is for fun. I've done this before and if I do it, fine. If I don't, there will be others if I choose. I took a break yesterday. I decided to skip the gym and come straight home after work and tried not to think too hard about running, or writing, or cooking...or reading. I need to stop making it larger than it really is. It's only one foot in front of the other and when I remember that, it isn't so very hard.

TT