Back to square one

There was once upon a time that I was able to jump right into these pages and fill them up so quickly nothing could stop me. I'm not sure what happened from that time till now. More pages are staying blank and starkly white, staring back at me - if pages were able to stare. They can't, of course, and the reason they stay blank isn't so much because I haven't jumped in to fill them up but because I get to about this point and re-read what I have written. At that point, I erase it all and get up and leave.

I'm letting it go today. I'm not worrying about the, 'what the heck is this all about,' and will hit publish. It's the orange button with the white lettering in the upper right hand corner. This used to be an exercise in getting words down, every day, and consistently. In order to get better you have to write.

Write, write, write. But with all the jimble, jumble of words written here I have been going back and trying to figure out what I've written.  I'm spending a lot of time removing thoughts I have re-read and consider editable or erasable. My edit filter has been turned to high and not much is able to get through. The whole idea of putting things down here was to get the ideas on the page and curb some of the editing that was keeping me from getting anything on the page. There has to be more work from me than just write, write, and write, then re-read and erase.  Well, wait a minute.  It might actually help if I were to at least start to write, write, write, again.

Good idea. But then - when? And then the lyric from the group, Rage Against the Machine, floats through my head.
It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime. What better place than here. What better time than now?

The lyrics are a little out of context here from what the song was actually talking about but it could be easily applied. Obviously, my mind drifted off topic again or I wouldn't be thinking of random songs. I'm not sure what it has to do with fiction writing except that maybe it's trying to tell me I need to get started again - like now. Or maybe I should go back and erase all this.

And if I did that (erase) I would be at the exact spot I was when I first started, which was editing to the point of no words left on a page.

It has to start somewhere.
TT