Fibbing

I ran my longest distance this year two weeks ago.  It was the 8 miles I mentally clocked down each mile while running at the haven. I did it, but I was very apprehensive and it made for a, hmm...a little tougher run than it had to be. In the following two weeks up to the present I haven't done more than a total of  just under 30 miles since that run. That's the way the voice in my head see's it..."only 30 miles".

Then yesterday, I hauled myself up and to the haven again arriving just at 7:00 am. Thoughts of not going had floated through my head since it was the first Saturday. I wanted to think the vendors setting up their booths and all the activity in preparation for their small monthly festival would bar me from going out. It was apparently another mental excuse I made myself get over. It was that lying voice reminding me it's tough and I should re-think this idea for a shorter distance or not at all.

Somehow, my resolve blocked that voice until it was an insignificant murmurings. I would hit at least that 8 miles again, although I needed to stick to my plan of 9.  Since I was going out and back, it would be easier to count 5 out and 5 back. The voice came back, "but that would be 10 miles". I wasn't paying it any attention. By the time I was out and running, I wasn't counting down miles but finding my pace and looking up and around at the rolling hills. The inclines I managed right at the five-mile marker gave me the opportunity to stop long enough to pull off my shoe and release the small, pea-sized stone that crept inside. Go ahead and stretch those legs, princess, it's time to head back. And I did, and made the 10 mile run my head-voice kept telling me I couldn't. Such a liar.

But then, I didn't exactly tell the truth with my very first sentence. My longest distance this year was yesterday with just over 10 miles. It's a good amount for me but I know it won't be my longest distance for very long. I've got plans in place and if I need to make minor adjustments here or there, I know for certain more miles are going to happen. There is a lot to be said for resolve and persistence, for stubborn tenacity. There's a lot to be said about knowing when you can go ahead and get it done instead of letting the insignificant murmurings get in the way. Sometimes, I can't trust that voice in my head. Too many times it's just fibbing.
TT