I was wavering ever so slightly yesterday afternoon about heading to the gym. Dark thoughts of avoiding my scheduled run were burning in my brain. The idea of staying comfortable at home was simmering lightly. I could finish that book. I could watch that show I recorded. I could get a head start on dinner. Shaking my head, I dashed all thoughts of skipping the workout and proceeded to get myself dressed and laces tied. I was going for a 4 miler. There was no time to mull over pros and cons. There was nothing to negotiate.
Why all the tug of war? It is certainly getting easier to keep this going. I'm not sure why these fleeting thoughts of not doing what I already have laid out to do keep popping into my brain. I've gotten so much better at stifling the 'don't go' thoughts but it can be somewhat irritating that I will still try to get away with avoiding what I need to do for something that is, well, lame and that I can do later. Why do I keep thinking like this?
I realize it isn't such a big issue as an irritant. It's the act of breaking bad habits and numbing routines that bring these thoughts to mind. Stepping away from the familiar is going to cause some type of reaction within yourself, right? But it's starting to get irritating that I would try to keep tripping myself up this way. I just have to keep my focus. I have to remember the benefits and how it feels when I've done what I've set out to do. Those books, shows, and other things I want to do during my scheduled run times are still getting read, watched, and done. The next time the idea of skipping out on my run enters my brain I know what I have to tell myself. "Suck it up, Petunia. I have miles to run".
TT
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