It is now afternoon of Day three of my change up of early morning runs and I did run this morning. After all my hoopla yesterday the weather wasn't an issue. Actually, I was reminded by my nike+ sensor site (where all my workouts are stored) that it is actually five mornings in a row. I had forgotten that I ran this past weekend so including last Saturday and Sunday and since I have gotten out to run before 5:30am this past Monday, Tuesday, and this morning, Wednesday, I have five consecutive morning runs. That is great considering it was cold this morning. There wasn't a drop of rain and I got up and headed out without a thought. I didn't think about it until I was out and saw two walkers dressed head to toe with warm-up pants and hoodies pulled up over their heads. No...they weren't dangerous...unless over-zealous work-out freaks like me are considered that. But seeing them I realized I might have put more on than my running shorts and regular tee. My hands had started to go really cold but I was fine and I got it done.
I wish I could say things were going as well with the other end of my change up plan. I've managed to switch my running from afternoons to mornings but the other switch is running into some snags. The writing part I am supposed to be doing in the afternoons now has run into a few problems. It isn't really the switching part. I have actually sat down and spent time working on my fiction writing these past few afternoons. The problem seems to be my writing itself.
I am struggling to say the least. I am having a bit of a hard time keeping things going. I wrote a short dialogue yesterday that I thought had gone well only to go back and check and found I had already written a portion of that same information earlier. I had spent time repeating myself. I will go back and see about correcting that but that made it slightly frustrating. I am only a few hundred words from 35,000 and if I am thinking the whole will be somewhere around 70,000 words than I am approximately half way there.
But I can't count the parts I've told twice.
It's not the same as running my same route every morning. I'm supposed to be writing new things and I am having a bit of a hard time. But then, I didn't think I was going to get out and run this morning and I did even as cold as it was. So the writing is a little cold. I'll be fine and I'll get it done.
TT
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
There are consequences
Day two and I have two early morning runs done. It's nothing to write home about but like I said, it's a start. Of course, this afternoon I was beginning to ponder what I was going to do tomorrow morning. I heard it was supposed to be cooler and chances of rain. That would normally stop me in my tracks. But then it was cooler the first morning. What was it? 55 degrees? This morning it was 64...much better. Is that why I am thinking about it? So I might use it as an excuse to bail?
Then I thought it might be better to just have a contingent plan in case I don't make it out to run early tomorrow. Or would having another plan give me the excuse to not stick to the one I already have in place. The one where I get up my regular (very early, incredibly dark time), run instead of write with the writing done later...like now. Like I've done successfully the past two days.
Did you know how mental this physical activity can be? I can sure make it that way when I want to, can't I? Anyone else would say, run, don't run...what the!
So my contingent plan is that if...IF...for no good reason, I don't get my tired a$$ out early to run tomorrow I will pack my gym bag and have to do it during lunch...on the dreadmill. (OH, NO! Horrors!) (I didn't spell it wrong, either).
Wow. Isn't there a law against cruel and unusual punishment? Especially to yourself!
I get to ponder that overnight, now don't I? It's all about choices.
TT
Then I thought it might be better to just have a contingent plan in case I don't make it out to run early tomorrow. Or would having another plan give me the excuse to not stick to the one I already have in place. The one where I get up my regular (very early, incredibly dark time), run instead of write with the writing done later...like now. Like I've done successfully the past two days.
Did you know how mental this physical activity can be? I can sure make it that way when I want to, can't I? Anyone else would say, run, don't run...what the!
So my contingent plan is that if...IF...for no good reason, I don't get my tired a$$ out early to run tomorrow I will pack my gym bag and have to do it during lunch...on the dreadmill. (OH, NO! Horrors!) (I didn't spell it wrong, either).
Wow. Isn't there a law against cruel and unusual punishment? Especially to yourself!
I get to ponder that overnight, now don't I? It's all about choices.
TT
Monday, March 28, 2011
Change up
I changed things around today. It isn't an easy thing to do when it's a Monday and I have my regular full time job I need to show up for every weekday. I thought I would give it a shot for a short time and see how it goes and then maybe change it up again. It isn't like I can add more hours to the day. That might not be such a good idea since it seems I already try to cram the day full with all that I do. It would be like me getting a larger purse and then as always filling it up and making it too heavy to carry around.
So today I am a little upside down. I didn't write early this morning. I went out for my run instead. I thought I would use my early morning writing time to run and then I could write in the afternoon when I would usually (not) run. I'm going to try it temporarily...at least this week and see how it goes.
I thought it through. I figured I could do the distance I needed within the time frame I had before work or I could at least give it a try. I thought I had it all planned. Then my alarm didn't go off. Luckily, I woke up only a few minutes after it should have and I was able to get up and out. I figured I may be cutting it close but I wasn't going to back out the first day even if I was 30 minutes later in to work. But I managed to get the run in, shower, dress and be at my desk at 7:00am. It worked.
So one day down and I can call it a start. If fact that is what I will call it...a start. Changing it up. Doing it differently, modifying, altering slightly, making a variation. All of the above.
I made sure I've got my alarm set for tomorrow.
TT
So today I am a little upside down. I didn't write early this morning. I went out for my run instead. I thought I would use my early morning writing time to run and then I could write in the afternoon when I would usually (not) run. I'm going to try it temporarily...at least this week and see how it goes.
I thought it through. I figured I could do the distance I needed within the time frame I had before work or I could at least give it a try. I thought I had it all planned. Then my alarm didn't go off. Luckily, I woke up only a few minutes after it should have and I was able to get up and out. I figured I may be cutting it close but I wasn't going to back out the first day even if I was 30 minutes later in to work. But I managed to get the run in, shower, dress and be at my desk at 7:00am. It worked.
So one day down and I can call it a start. If fact that is what I will call it...a start. Changing it up. Doing it differently, modifying, altering slightly, making a variation. All of the above.
I made sure I've got my alarm set for tomorrow.
TT
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Nothing less
It was fully light but the ground was wet. I don't think it had rained but the fog had been dense and I could still feel the moisture in the air. It was still but whatever stirred was slightly cool which made me think I should have worn a different shirt other than the tank I had on. I flipped that idea out of my head. I was fine. I had only just started the run and as I kept going I knew I would be plenty warmed up.
I made my turn and came down a incline allowing my pace to quicken. I let the ease of the slope carry me faster and downward to the end when it leveled off and I fell back into my regular rhythm. I kept on.
I was at my half-way point. I've covered these same miles many times.
I spotted a streetlight that hadn't known to go out yet. It was the only one in the line of lamps still burning, seemly unaware that the sun had risen but hiding behind misty clouds. At the lofty top of another two vultures perched. They are not uncommon and I've seen them before. It wasn't that long ago there were no streetlights here at all. I'm not sure where they perched then.
I turned another corner and was on the last stretch home. My sensor whispered that I had 400 meters to go and counted me down as I hit each: 300-200-100. I always try to pick up the pace slightly when I hear that cue. I did today.
I'm starting again slowly. I'm flipping the over thinking out of my head. I'm going out for a run.
Nothing more but, for sure now...not less.
TT
I made my turn and came down a incline allowing my pace to quicken. I let the ease of the slope carry me faster and downward to the end when it leveled off and I fell back into my regular rhythm. I kept on.
I was at my half-way point. I've covered these same miles many times.
I spotted a streetlight that hadn't known to go out yet. It was the only one in the line of lamps still burning, seemly unaware that the sun had risen but hiding behind misty clouds. At the lofty top of another two vultures perched. They are not uncommon and I've seen them before. It wasn't that long ago there were no streetlights here at all. I'm not sure where they perched then.
I turned another corner and was on the last stretch home. My sensor whispered that I had 400 meters to go and counted me down as I hit each: 300-200-100. I always try to pick up the pace slightly when I hear that cue. I did today.
I'm starting again slowly. I'm flipping the over thinking out of my head. I'm going out for a run.
Nothing more but, for sure now...not less.
TT
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Normal work day
I'm not sure why I got up so early. It was one of those mornings that I didn't have to get up but I did. There wasn't any reason to stay in bed since I was wide awake no matter how early it was. It wasn't like I was feeling sleep deprived. It was more that it was enough sleep - time to get up even if it is earlier than I would on a normal work day.
It seems again I have a packed weekend. It's early but will I have enough time? I have to get in a short run. I have to take my car in to replace the front driver's side reflector that managed to work itself off and get lost somewhere. While I wait in the dealership I could read or should I bring my laptop and write? I even called yesterday to ask if they had wi-fi in their waiting room. No. The young receptionist didn't think so. I didn't really think they did either but I have called places and asked sillier questions. Maybe when I'm done there I'll go get a real coffee...or just come home to get normal chores started.
I need to till the entire front yard to get some grass growing there again. The draught and my utter neglect has left it nothing but brown weeds. Luckily it isn't the massive area we have in the back of the house but it will take some time to get it done and it should be done soon to get all the new grass to root. I need to pick up some white silk to make the pillow for the ringbearer at Sonny and Selma's wedding. It will take me no time and I can't see them spending the amount of money they charge for those already pre-made when it will be almost nothing for me to replicate for so little. I will need to meet Jay to pick paint and stain colors for the shop. He is doing a re-model of the store. He is breaking down a wall to make the small retail area larger and flow better. It will clean and freshen it up. It's much needed and will help things along with business we are sure.
There is more. I have an entire grocery list of items that seem to be growing steadily lately.
Maybe that is why I woke so early. I had enough rest and knew there was plenty to do. The list seems to keep growing and the more I do the more it seems there is to do. So better to start early.
Who said it wasn't a normal work day?
TT
It seems again I have a packed weekend. It's early but will I have enough time? I have to get in a short run. I have to take my car in to replace the front driver's side reflector that managed to work itself off and get lost somewhere. While I wait in the dealership I could read or should I bring my laptop and write? I even called yesterday to ask if they had wi-fi in their waiting room. No. The young receptionist didn't think so. I didn't really think they did either but I have called places and asked sillier questions. Maybe when I'm done there I'll go get a real coffee...or just come home to get normal chores started.
I need to till the entire front yard to get some grass growing there again. The draught and my utter neglect has left it nothing but brown weeds. Luckily it isn't the massive area we have in the back of the house but it will take some time to get it done and it should be done soon to get all the new grass to root. I need to pick up some white silk to make the pillow for the ringbearer at Sonny and Selma's wedding. It will take me no time and I can't see them spending the amount of money they charge for those already pre-made when it will be almost nothing for me to replicate for so little. I will need to meet Jay to pick paint and stain colors for the shop. He is doing a re-model of the store. He is breaking down a wall to make the small retail area larger and flow better. It will clean and freshen it up. It's much needed and will help things along with business we are sure.
There is more. I have an entire grocery list of items that seem to be growing steadily lately.
Maybe that is why I woke so early. I had enough rest and knew there was plenty to do. The list seems to keep growing and the more I do the more it seems there is to do. So better to start early.
Who said it wasn't a normal work day?
TT
Friday, March 25, 2011
No non-choices
I hadn't thought about it since I had gotten it out of the way. I spent my fair share of time stressing about the fact that I had to close out Jay's business accounting from last year and take care of the taxes. I knew I had piles of reports to enter into my nifty accounting system in order to get the final figures for all the sales and expenses that occurred during the year. I had it looming over my shoulder, pressing down, knowing I had to fit it in to all the other things I was doing.
Now I am thinking back and realizing it's all done. I finished it a few weeks ago and have even sent it out and have gotten it all accomplished. Even better than that I am current on the sales/expenses for this year. I've actually entered the information for this current year on the system so I am already ahead. I somehow managed to pull out of a bad pattern of waiting until deadline to start the work that I could have been breaking down into smaller jobs instead of waiting to do an enormous one at one time.
Now it is all just an afterthought. All the time stressing about getting it done and accomplished was finished a few weeks ago and it's over. And now I am wondering how much time I spend thinking and stressing about other things I have complete control over.
How much time do I spend worrying about a situation instead of doing something about it? It sometimes is just a matter of figuring out what to do and sometimes that is where I might stop myself. Do I want to do what needs to be done or am I afraid if I do it, what will happen next? Ah, the choices. And am I talking about bookkeeping any more or not.
I have some things I need to change up and am at that luscious point of making some choices. I have been told that going with the flow is sometimes best and that it is also a choice. Not mine, I don't think. I won't be making any non-choices to see how it goes. As long as I have choices to make...I would rather be the one making them.
TT
Now I am thinking back and realizing it's all done. I finished it a few weeks ago and have even sent it out and have gotten it all accomplished. Even better than that I am current on the sales/expenses for this year. I've actually entered the information for this current year on the system so I am already ahead. I somehow managed to pull out of a bad pattern of waiting until deadline to start the work that I could have been breaking down into smaller jobs instead of waiting to do an enormous one at one time.
Now it is all just an afterthought. All the time stressing about getting it done and accomplished was finished a few weeks ago and it's over. And now I am wondering how much time I spend thinking and stressing about other things I have complete control over.
How much time do I spend worrying about a situation instead of doing something about it? It sometimes is just a matter of figuring out what to do and sometimes that is where I might stop myself. Do I want to do what needs to be done or am I afraid if I do it, what will happen next? Ah, the choices. And am I talking about bookkeeping any more or not.
I have some things I need to change up and am at that luscious point of making some choices. I have been told that going with the flow is sometimes best and that it is also a choice. Not mine, I don't think. I won't be making any non-choices to see how it goes. As long as I have choices to make...I would rather be the one making them.
TT
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Stop procrastinating
It seems funny to me now how I had been procrastinating about continuing my chapter 8. I had started it but was struggling. I had set up the scene but my characters were just sitting there. I started worrying about it because they were just staring at each other across a table. I started to fumble and get nervous so I left it alone. I kept thinking...why are they having such a hard time with each other! This is where they should be going and what everything has led up to so far. They are at the part they should be and now they clam up. I didn't think they were going to do anything! You understand I mean me, I wasn't able to do anything...it's all in my head, these characters and such. (I know that, too...shhh!)
I finally reopened the document and put down the first thing the main character thought to say. That was it. That was the opening of chapter 8. The opening of chapter 8 wasn't setting up the scene and having everything in place like I had written. The main character had something on her mind but was waiting around for me to make sure the silverware was in place before she could say it. I was making her hold her thought when I should have been letting her speak. I finally did and I was able to work the setting in very easily afterward and the chapter got underway.
It gets so easy to get lost in the description to the point I wasn't letting the characters show me what they should be doing. I was plugging along trying to make everything perfect for this conversation that was supposed to happen that I actually paused the conversation. Then I had a hard time figuring out why. I was blaming it on them and trying to figure out how I was going to get them going.
It seems funny now. It's funny now to see myself looking back, procrastinating, getting nervous when I just needed to get out of my own way to get going.
I'll know next time to re-open that document again sooner.
TT
I finally reopened the document and put down the first thing the main character thought to say. That was it. That was the opening of chapter 8. The opening of chapter 8 wasn't setting up the scene and having everything in place like I had written. The main character had something on her mind but was waiting around for me to make sure the silverware was in place before she could say it. I was making her hold her thought when I should have been letting her speak. I finally did and I was able to work the setting in very easily afterward and the chapter got underway.
It gets so easy to get lost in the description to the point I wasn't letting the characters show me what they should be doing. I was plugging along trying to make everything perfect for this conversation that was supposed to happen that I actually paused the conversation. Then I had a hard time figuring out why. I was blaming it on them and trying to figure out how I was going to get them going.
It seems funny now. It's funny now to see myself looking back, procrastinating, getting nervous when I just needed to get out of my own way to get going.
I'll know next time to re-open that document again sooner.
TT
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