Pep talking

I have taken a good amount of time this weekend going over my book.  I got the entire length together and went over it and read it through.  I needed to see where it was and if this isn't the right way to go about it - well, I did it anyway - because I think this is the way I needed to do it.  I refrained from any editing but went from top to bottom to see where it was.
The beginning will need some work.  I can see areas and glaring spots that will need to be re-done.  There isn't anything that will change the progression of the story but it's slow and can get boring and needs re-arranging, and I see all these things that need improving.  Going from writer, to reader, to editor doesn't seem to be that hard for me - just the holding back when I am only supposed to be a writer just now. 
I went through the rest and it's progressing.  There was some threads I hit on very lightly that I didn't realize were running through.  That was good to see.  Then I let my emotional side take over and my confidence soared down into the black depths.  I also know it's terribly rookie, plain, and going to be hard to keep driving away at it.  But I cannot let the negativity creep into this or I won't be able to keep at it.  What I have written most recently is much better than the beginning, so I will take that as a positive. 
I have to keep approaching this as a challenge I have given myself and the goal is to get it all down.  Good, bad, hard, negative, positive, just right, needs works...all of the things I can think of to stop me or keep me going all matter and don't matter.  The goal is to get it all down.  Period.
Of course I would want it to be fair and somewhat good when it's all done.  I will be working on that as I go but more importantly I need to keep going.
Sorry you had to be around when I needed to give myself this pep talk.  I'll post something else to take your mind off this.  I took a good amount of time doing some cooking this weekend, too.  Maybe I'll post that above so this won't seem so...well, you know, so,so...
TT