Old photo

I came across an old photo of myself. It was a very old picture that was taken the summer after I graduated high school. I'm don't know why the photographer wanted to take the picture but there must have been something they wanted to capture. I'm still not sure what that might have been or if it turned out the way they envisioned.

As I looked at the picture I thought about that girl. It was a moment in time as she looked out to the future. Who is she and what lies ahead. So fresh, so young, so thoughtful. So many ways the paths ahead could lead or she could decide to take.

Am I that girl in the photo? Do I recognize that person? I will never look the way I did so many years ago, but this wasn't about physical appearance. I'm still connected with that girl in the photo. There has been many years, with many decisions and choices made by that girl. She stepped beyond some acceptable perimeters while staying well inside others. But, I'm not that girl. There is no way we could be the same with such a span of time between us. Things are not the same now, as in that moment before. How could they be? It would be unrealistic to say it's all the same. It would be boring to think nothing had grown or changed in all those years.

So much has been captured in the time spent in between now and then. And so much more has been done than, I think, even that photographer might have envisioned.
TT

Like the first time

What if you start the day as if you have no past? Try to get past the initial thoughts of how awkward that idea might be to know you have a past but ignore it.

The idea is to try and take a fresh look at what you are doing. What if you have nothing to compare how good or badly you did something previously? Would this give you the opportunity to start and build whatever you are doing with an unmarred set of processes? You have a clean slate to do whatever it is you want to do with no preconceived notions or even statistics. You are open to do anything without any measures and with only the joy of doing it like it is the first time. Would it change the way you do things? Would you approach them in a different, more positive way?

It certainly sounds like a fresh way to approach some things. What am I doing now. How do I want to get this done. What are my new expectations. Take the old routines and pretend you've never done them before and find the new ways of thinking and doing them. Wouldn't it be a little fun to act like a beginner again? Are you nervous and is it a little exciting? It should be, right?

It's called change and that word is mostly feared. You wouldn't think of it that way by the above approach but that's what it is. It's not really fearsome at all. I mean, really, when you get down to it, change is only doing differently. It's like you haven't done it before and get to give it a try.
TT

Smart?

I've had one of those weekends where I think I got a lot done but came away feeling like I didn't do enough. That's not the case because plenty was done. It only feels like the time escapes and there is the notion that with the stretch of free time it would stretch even longer than a normal day. Well, the reality is there is no extra stretch.

Jay and I spent some of yesterday upgrading our television devices to include some smart tv applications. We have been going back and forth about giving up our cable service and this would be a way to view movies and even some television shows without the outrageous cable bill. I'm still not sure about losing certain programming but then, how much am I really going to miss? And how much is too much?

Technology can take up a chunk of a day especially when it seems I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out certain things like adding bluetooth for Jay's wireless speaker that he uses at work and switching out a DVD player for a smart tv application box. So it's all in place now and we will give it all a test drive. Maybe it will be worth that bit of free time not to mention the dropped cost of cable.

TT 

The Power of Red Sauce

I had a real bad hankering for something yesterday. I wasn't sure what I wanted or what was going on with me. I felt a little off all day but there wasn't any reason for me to be feeling that way. I knew it would blow over. I was just having one of those days.

I had planned on making chicken for dinner. I had taken it out of the freezer early that morning, but when I got home I realized I had time to make some soul food. Yeah. That was what I wanted. I wanted something to soothe my soul and thought of some good old, simmering red sauce. So I put it together.

I had everything I needed so a sweated some onions, a bit of garlic, ground beef and Italian sausage and then tomatoes. Season it up, bring it to boil, then turn it down low.

It was already smelling the way it should and I was already feeling better.


I let it go for a few hours while checking on it every now and then, stirring the pot and scraping the sides, smelling the aroma, and adjusting the spices. It's an entire ritual that brings you to that perfect center. It's a chicken soup for the soul except more personal and heartier. It's my brand of comfort food when something is going on that isn't quite right when nothing is really wrong. It rights those wrongs.

So, I'm feeling so much better and everything is right with me and the world. Homemade red sauce can do that.
TT

Not zipping

I was carrying on routinely this morning and all of a sudden it was time to gear up to run. I realized at that moment I was going to skip out. I've been zipping along almost every day and at the instant I saw the time I realized I didn't want to get out there this morning.

I isn't like I feel like that's it, no more. It's more a feeling of okay, I can still bang this out without today. I hit the same mileage yesterday that I ran last month. Maybe today is just a breather. Whoo! Matched it. Reset. Rest. Go again. Something like that.

So I'm not rushing off this morning. I'm taking it a little easier and finishing off the week. Here are the stats: 76.8 miles for the month.
TT

Four more

Another weekend gone but another Monday is ready to cross off the list. One day down, four to go before another weekend. I'm loving my weekends. The days in between are just a little more not so lovable.

Most of my mornings begin with a run. Not too far, not too fast, but a run. Get back to the house, grab a fast shower, and haul myself to work for the rest of the day. Run, rinse, repeat. Until the weekend. Then it's a little more laid-back. Coffee, more coffee, then go run. Get back and have plenty of time to cool down before grabbing a shower. Then the day is up for grabs. Shopping, cooking, a visit from Mr. L, or let's read for a few hours, outside on the lounger on the deck. It feels like a vacation. What time is it? Don't matter none. How many days left...yeah, four.
TT

Don't jackrabbit

I did my 5K run this morning. It was just as exciting and fun as I thought it might be. I have to remember it's a good idea to go out and sign up for these official runs every so often since they really do give you a sense to seeing some results to my individual commitment. Also, it's just plain fun to get together at an event.

I ended up 10th in my age category but it covered nine years and this group has a lot of women in my category. I'm not walking away disappointed. If fact, I don't know how I managed an average 10:05 mile and chip time of 31:21. That is a whole lot faster than times I've been running lately. I know I made a major mistake of hauling off like a jackrabbit for the first mile. Everyone knows you don't do that but I did. It was winding down about the time I was feeling the effects of starting too fast but by that time I was done. That's a good thing about short races. They're over. And I ended up with a pace I haven't seen in a long time. Encouraging to say the least but it really says a lot more.
TT