Goodbye 2016

Say goodbye to year 2016.

The year I turned 60 is over and done and 61 takes over from here as of this very day. I can't predict what the future will hold. I can only make some choices along the way and see how they play out over the course of the coming year. I somehow managed a few things this past year I might not have accomplished if I hadn't made the choices I did during 2016.

I whined for years to myself and others how I would like to run another half marathon. I got down to business this year and ran it October 22, 2016. I almost let the year get away from me but when I knew the date of this race I figured out a training plan with the weeks left before that date to get ready. It was a tough race with many hills. I did it. That was what I wanted to do. In the past I would have whined about how I didn't have enough time or placed some other obstacles to make it impossible for myself to do it the way I had before but I figured there was nothing to lose except my whining. It worked. I got it done.

I also started the year off with a mileage goal. I calculated the average number of miles I have run the past six years and it is about 560. I thought I would go for 800 miles this year. It was aggressive for me but I figured what could it hurt. My last run for the year was this morning and it gave me a total of 770 miles for 2016. I was short of my goal of 800 but how can I not be more than satisfied that I was able to improve by so many more miles even when I am so much older than I was six years ago?

I'm not sure what made any difference this time around but somehow putting some plans into action did the job. I figured if it didn't work I couldn't be any worse off than my average. No one would be the wiser if I didn't run another half marathon or if I ran my 560 mile average. It wouldn't be any big loss except there were no loss this year. There were only big gains.

It's time to say goodbye to a good year - 2016. It's almost over with only a few hours to spare. Sixty years and I might have learned a thing or two. Now to use that momentum into my new improved age of sixty-one.

Hello there, 2017. What do you have planned?
TT

Old photo

I came across an old photo of myself. It was a very old picture that was taken the summer after I graduated high school. I'm don't know why the photographer wanted to take the picture but there must have been something they wanted to capture. I'm still not sure what that might have been or if it turned out the way they envisioned.

As I looked at the picture I thought about that girl. It was a moment in time as she looked out to the future. Who is she and what lies ahead. So fresh, so young, so thoughtful. So many ways the paths ahead could lead or she could decide to take.

Am I that girl in the photo? Do I recognize that person? I will never look the way I did so many years ago, but this wasn't about physical appearance. I'm still connected with that girl in the photo. There has been many years, with many decisions and choices made by that girl. She stepped beyond some acceptable perimeters while staying well inside others. But, I'm not that girl. There is no way we could be the same with such a span of time between us. Things are not the same now, as in that moment before. How could they be? It would be unrealistic to say it's all the same. It would be boring to think nothing had grown or changed in all those years.

So much has been captured in the time spent in between now and then. And so much more has been done than, I think, even that photographer might have envisioned.
TT

Let's run

I haven't said much lately about running. The past year and more has been a source of frustration when it comes to that subject. I'm not sure what happened, except that silly little thing called age crept up behind me and decided it was time to take me down. It threw it's arms around me and hoisted itself onto my back until I fell. Bam! Face to pavement. What was that? I struggled back up and tried to pull myself forward but it wasn't easy with this thing on my back, weighing me down.

I kept trying. It was ugly. I kept wondering why it got so hard so all of a sudden. I pushed, I failed, I got out there and I felt awful. There wasn't that spring, that bounce, that feeling of ever being there or getting to that place where a run takes a runner. It wasn't happening.

I lost motivation. I listened to the well-meaning voices around me that said there were just some things I couldn't do any more. My temper flared when I heard those things. I would think to myself, Why not? Then I would go out again and fail. I would try to use all the things I learned through the years to get going. Start slow, build up, breath, pace it out. It wasn't working and I began thinking the voices were right. I pretty much gave it up completely for four to five months except for an occasional run that would again prove I didn't want to go out the next time around.

All the while, I kept thinking I did want to go out again. Then I went out the other day and something clicked into place. I finished the run and felt, well, I felt good. I tried to throw out most of the history I've had with running. I put aside all the things I learned because I realized with this silly little thing called age dragging at my heels, I would need to learn this all over again. I'm slower. I have to build up my endurance and it will take longer. I have to adjust some things and learn it all over again and stop expecting everything to be the way it was before. It isn't, but that can be okay. I have to act the way I did when I didn't know any better - like before at the beginning. I need to stop expecting history to repeat itself and get out there and start running the way I did way back when. I didn't expect myself to be able to run fast or far at the beginning and it was a joy to find out I could and did. Instead of having this failed outlook, I have the opportunity of experiencing those feeling again with each new distance the way I did the first time.

So I'm back at it and it's feeling so much better. I'm beginning to think this older age thing is just another opportunity to figure out stuff the way I did a long time ago. I need to stop feeling as if I am entitled, or paid my dues, or should be at another level because of all I've done to get here. I am at another level only it isn't the one I thought it would be. It's the chance to go back and act like I didn't do any of these things in the past. I get a fresh page to restart and rediscover. What could be better motivation? I am in a position to know I will be working toward some of the things I could actually achieve again...at my age.
TT

Slow

My laptop seems to be moving slower and slower. I tried to implement all the suggestions I found on speeding it up and it seems I might have taken it one step too far. It is now dragging even slower than before. There is a noticeable pause when I request a page, even if it is one that it should remember from many prior openings of that same page. It can get a little frustrating. We all want speed to get to our bad habits of using up our time in front of a computer screen!

I'll figure it out. I might even take it over to the computer store and let the experts click a couple of the (correct) buttons and get it cleaned up, de-fragmented, system restored, whatever needs to be done to get this baby back up and running at a tolerable level. Poor laptop, it's getting old and isn't keeping up like it used to do.

I know how it feels.

TT