Intro to shorts

In the next week I will be introducing what I originally started calling "shorts". I have used this blog as a tool to make myself responsible to write every day. It has worked for me. I feel like I have progressed. There hasn’t been a day that I have not put some amount of words to paper whether you have seen them or not.
But I wanted to find a way to organize my writing. I needed to be able to find a time balance since I can only fit in so much.
My thought was if I wrote shorter posts with a fewer word count on the blog, I could spend more time writing on a separate project. Then I got an idea to start brainstorming about possible subjects that I would plan and write in advance to free up more time. I wanted it to be simple and even include pictures that would give a feel of interest but (honestly) to give the illusion the posts hadn’t gotten shorter.
What originally started out to be a time saver, turned into a fun way of spending a lot more time! I managed to get seven “shorts” together and will start posting them December 1st . They all have one word titles that tell you the subject, which were meant to be routine things I do, have, love.
I don’t know that these have helped save me any time and I haven’t put a single word down on my separate project as of yet, but hopefully the posts starting Tuesday through next Monday will be fun to read.
Hope you enjoy.
TT

Good addictions

Time seems to have gotten away from me this morning. I was working on my seventh piece and lost track of the time. I will tell you more about the pieces...or "shorts" as I have been calling them tomorrow.
But now, today...one more day off then back to a regular work-week. I am not really looking forward to it but it's only because I would rather be spending time on other things. Who wouldn't rather be spending time on other things?
I did finish a really good book yesterday. It has been a while since I spent that much time reading again. I may have been reading the wrong books or just wasn't in the right mind frame to be reading. It came back. Whatever I had lost for a while. I can tell I've gotten my voracious appetite for books back. It just clicked right back into place. I can't even tell you what triggered it. Maybe it was a good book.
And it seems I have started a new series. Yes. I try to read authors first book through current if at all possible. I had gone to a half-priced book store to find a suggested author but they only had the second book. Hmm…it didn’t take me long to buy it and go across the street to Barnes & Noble to pick up the first. So, the race is on so to speak. New author, new characters, new story lines. I am building my stash again (as Sonny calls it). He claims I am addicted to books so much so that I keep a stash of books so I never run out, never without my fix.
Can my books be my addiction?  Well, maybe.  But then wait...how many other addictions do I have? 
TT

Today is

It is a Saturday morning. I have to remind myself because I am having a hard time remembering what day it is. This week has been completely out of my regular routine. I took Monday and Tuesday off, I worked a short day Wednesday, I was off Thursday, and then worked Friday. No wonder I have to remind myself what day it is.
It explains why I woke up before the alarm went off. Or why it didn’t go off – because it’s not set for weekends. Maybe it doesn’t really explain the getting up early on a day off…but then I got up later than usual yesterday which was a work day! I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It is actually better this way because it’s Saturday and I don’t have to go to work.
Now what to do…
The great thing about having a whole day spread in front of me is I can choose the things I want to do. I have a book I want to finish. I have a small bit of housework. I need to check the fridge. My desk needs organizing again. Index cards are everywhere. And more…of course there is more. But this is a start.

Now what to do…
TT

Thanksgiving day revisited

The menu was posted and then the prep began. If I hadn't been so busy yesterday I would have had these images earlier. It did take me most of my day to go through the variety of food we prepared but all well worth it. It is something I enjoy. Just put me in the kitchen with some great ingredients and I will work my way through the slicing, washing, chopping, sautéing, cooking and roasting.

So eveything on the menu was prepared and served.  Everyone had plenty and more for later.  Plenty for all and plenty to be thankful for. 


It was a very Happy Thanksgiving Day!  Hope yours was too!
TT

Thanksgiving Day Menu

Thanksgiving Day Menu

Brunch
Eggs cooked to order
Bacon
Sausage
Hash Brown
English Muffins
Croissants
Strawberries, Blueberries & Blackberries
Minted Yogurt Cream
Orange Juice
Coffee

Main Event
Roasted Turkey
Corn Bread Giblet Stuffing
Mashed Potatoes
Mushroom Gravy
Buttered Yams
Carrots with Parsley Butter
Steamed Broccoli & Cauliflower
Cheese Sauce
Sautéed Green Beans with pancetta
Mustard Greens with smoked ham hocks
Cranberry Sauce
Dinner Rolls

Crumble topped Apple Pie
Classic Pumpkin Pie
Heavy Whipped Cream

Pellegrino
Wine List:
Ruffino Chianti
Coppola Malbec
Toad Hollow Chardonnay
Coppola Black Label Claret

Yes, I am a bit later than usual posting but it wasn't because I wasn't up.  The stuffed turkey is already in the oven starting it's slow roast and the kitchen has been cleaned.  I have my time now to myself for a bit until it's time to get dressed and pack things up to move over to Sonny's house for the rest of the prep and cooking.  

Yes, I can write a mean menu but I can cook it all too.  Someone referred to it as being in my element.  I like that.  It seems to be true. 

Oh...and maybe just a dessert preview since I baked these yesterday.  Nothing wrong with starting out with something sweet, right?

Have a Happy Thanksgiving Day!

TT

  

Accidents happen

Did I say easy day yesterday?  Did I say easy day when I had completed my last trip to the grocery store for the last items I needed for the Thanksgiving Day feast?  Actually, it was an easy day.  It was a thoroughly enjoyable day.  It was one of the better days I have had in a while.  It was an easy day.
Then later that afternoon I needed to get out of the house for a few.  I had purchased a bed sheet that I realized was flat instead of fitted and decided to go ahead and return it.  I jumped into my sports car and zoomed right over and took care of it.  Just as I was coming out of the store I got a text from Sonny.  I am going to quote the text's exactly...
"Can u pik a bottle of the malbec when u go to get the remaining items 4 turkey day?...I accidentally drank one of them"
"Accidentally!  U sure we need one?  ican go now"
"Yep...I just took a sip but my hand slipped n then the whole bottle just fell down my throat...I was sooo disapointed"
"Yeah i bet"
"Yea...one is fine...I replaced the other 2 I drank already but was at the other loc n they didn't have the malbec"
"Well maybe i shd pu 2...accidents can happen again in the next 2 days"
"Weeeell...if u insist hahaha"
"Anything else?  my lst trip"
It was decided that nothing else would be needed.  The wine was purchased and I was able to get out of the craziness that had become the store before I was overcome with the frenzy.
I had a feeling keeping all the purchased items at Sonny's might be risky.  Sure enough. 
Ah well, but then again.  It is a holiday, right?
Hope I don't have the same accident with the bottles I picked up.  Sips and slipping hands and wine and all. 
I can understand how that could happen.  Couldn't you?
TT

Easy day

I still have today off from work and have been able to get the final round of grocery shopping done for the Thanksgiving Day feast. It is a feast, you know, with all the things on the menu and the few people actually coming to the table.
The store was wonderfully empty and with my list in hand I didn't spend too much time getting what was still needed. Now I have to ward off the overwhelming anxiety of wanting to start cooking. If I want everything to be as fresh as it should be I can't really start prepping things yet. So it's hand off until tomorrow.
I will go back to work tomorrow and it is a good way to keep me out of the kitchen until I get out about 2:30 tomorrow. I know I had it planned that way. Baking will take precedence with the corn bread and pies. Oh, what? Are you curious about the menu? Yes, I have it all planned. If you want to know the exact items being served you will need to check in that day - Thursday - where I will have it all listed.
But today I think I’ll take another easy day off. I will hopefully do not much of nothing if that is even possible. I might curl up with the next book I just started. I can get lost there for a good couple of hours. But I’m not going to think too hard about it.
I’ll just see how it goes.
TT

30 years

Today is my thirtieth wedding anniversary. It was exactly thirty years ago today (November, 23 1979) on a Friday after Thanksgiving Day, Jay and I got married. We both had the day off so it was a long weekend.

That’s a long time. I don’t mean the weekend but the thirty years. I wish I had some words of wisdom to pass on as tips on how we did it. I am still trying to figure it out and maybe that is a tip in itself. You have to keep figuring it out.
We are not the most similar of couples. There are a few obvious differences.
I am an early riser. He likes to sleep in.
I can’t sit still. He would rather relax.
Those things have actually come to balance out in the long run. I get up early and am off doing things while he is still relaxing. He gets me to sit and relax when he knows I’ve wound myself too tight. He can see that happening to me when I am not aware.
He worries when I am not feeling well. It is something that has surprised me of late when I’ve seen it in his face. It shows in the time he has taken to be attentive. I can’t tell you how much his doing something as simple as rubbing the knot out of my back means to me. It is the simple things that mean the most.
We are not big on grand gestures and gifts. We had a conversation last week that we would not be out purchasing expensive anniversary gifts. We have been making upgrades to the house and would rather put the money there.
It’s about future plans that we keep deciding together.
So today we might not be doing too much of anything special but that is our preference. I’ve tried to leave it to him to decide and he keeps asking me. It’s become a game back and forth that we have just about perfected through the years. Our real life dialogues could feed any prime time comedy show. He has always been able to make me laugh.  It’s just that kind of humorous, loving things we have done along the way to get us to this place.
So who would have thought?
He likes war movies. I like to read books.
He likes to fish. I like to run on the beach.
For thirty years with all the differences between us, we keep arriving at the same place.
Figuring it out seems to have worked best.
TT

Plan in place

It was late yesterday when I called Sonny. I wanted to let him know I was planning on going to the grocery store early this morning to avoid the crowd to get things for Thanksgiving dinner. We had talked about having it at his brand new house this year and I didn't want him to go out and buy the same things I was planning on getting (like everything).
It turned out he suggested we head out together last night since it was later in the evening and the crowd should be thinning. It was a good plan.
We were able to go through our list pretty quickly. It is an excellent thing when we can collaborate so easily about these things. It helps that we have done this more than a number of times and there are few variations when it comes to the exact menu. I certainly have it down so pat it has become a non-stress event. Besides, I love having the entire day to cook.
So I will make one stop again to pick up produce items and things that were forgotten. There are always one or two things forgotten. I can do that Tuesday before I go back to work a short day Wednesday.
The plan will be I can start the stuffing/turkey early Thursday morning at home and transport to finish in Sonny’s oven. No one will need to get up any earlier than they would normally and I get to finish the rest of the cooking in his new kitchen.
It sounds like a plan.
TT

Coffee

There can be no confusion about the sign to the left.  It is no doubt a very recognizable sign.  It certainly holds a spot for me.  No, I don't mean I have a regular table, although unofficially I think I do have one.
It is certainly a place I never seem to refuse if it is suggested as a meeting place.  I'll meet you there now if you like.  Let me grab my purse and I'm out the door.  You'll show right?  Or do I need to bring my laptop?

I could always browse the aisles of a store that has all the newest gadgets for making the wonderful brew myself. I don't really need all the fancy congomerations that are offered.  I drink my coffee straight up black - no cream, no sugar, no foam, whip or fancy designs on top.  I am a coffee lover.  I love the coffee - not the condiments.  The distinctive flavor and different roasts and blends are what I'm after.  You can spot the coffee fad followers when they talk of bitter and burnt, not recognizing coffees different varieties.  Does every peach have the exact same sweetness or juiciness level?   

But unless I'm meeting you, there is nothing quite like waking up to my own freshly brewed cup(s).  Oh, and all the morning time I need to enjoy it.

Then maybe later I can meet you there!  What's one more cup?

TT

Cartoon characters

If you read my post yesterday there where a few reasons I was having some difficulties last week.  One of the things that I was trying to sort out mentally was a suggestion that Jay had made that I didn't need to blog anymore.  That's right.  I was done and I didn't need to post anymore.  I was so confused and miserable.  I actually thought in my state of lunacy that it was what I needed to do.   He was sort of right about it serving as the tool to get me along and all.  It had done that, so was it such a stretch that I should stop?

But I didn't want to stop.  Yes, I think, and over-analyze it, and probably said something to him that made him think it was stressing me, but I didn't think I wanted to stop.  I hadn't even thought of that until he said it.  Then it was all I could think about.

Then I came home from work and found this cartoon.  It was cut out and placed on the refrigerator door.

What timing.  The man doesn't read anything except the newspaper each day - cartoons included.  He doesn't read my blog.  No, he doesn't.  I told him so, when I saw the cartoon.  "You don't even read my blog!" 

But the timing of it couldn't have been any better (or worse considering the situation).

I have a sense of humor.  I can take a joke.

Besides, it must have been eight or more months ago he had cut out and put this one on the refrigerator door.

I won't argue with that.

TT

Functioning lunatic

There is no other way to describe myself this week except as a functioning lunatic. I will be copyrighting that phrase so don't think you can use it without sending me an email. My address is right there to the right of my home page here so there are no acceptable excuses for using it and not telling me. I will track you down if you don't.
But, yes, it has not been a good week for me. Exactly a week ago I had an outpatient procedure done in which I felt extraordinarily good the day after. I was amazed how well and quickly I had recovered. I didn't really. I felt progressively worse as the days went on. I don't know how to recover from anything since I have been lucky enough to never have had to deal with it before. I am too healthy, too delusional, too much a lunatic.
I felt bad. I managed to go to work but physically I felt bad.
So I had to allow myself to take it easy and hope for it to go away. It lingered for days and early on I also managed to pinch a muscle in my lower back. It wasn't enough to stop me from doing anything but a constant dull ache to add to everything else. Did I say how bad I felt? I don’t usually feel so bad or say so - but I did.
Then I got the emotional blow. I was talking in general terms about this blog to Jay. He let me talk for a while but finally tells me he thinks it's done. I am done with the blog. It has served its purpose as a tool, given me some discipline, and I don't need it anymore.
I was stunned and sad and internally questioning myself inside and out. I became a functioning lunatic. I was feeling bad physically and then I was mentally ripped. Was I really done? If he said so I must be. No one had said otherwise.
My biggest problem with feedback is that I actually listen to it. When someone makes a suggestion or let’s me know what I should do, I considered it very thoroughly. I don’t discount anyone’s suggestions. I think Jay might have thought it was stressing me and wanted to say I could stop if I wanted to, but he didn’t say it like that. So I took it the way it was said. It served its purpose and I was done. I can be extremely literal.
Somehow I managed to go on accomplishing everything I needed to get done all week long without a glimmer of anyone guessing there might be the slightest problem. It was a bit much for me. Did I mention I was feeling bad and then I was internalizing about having to stop blogging?
So I was a functioning lunatic for a while.
At least this time I had a better excuse than I normally do. Sometimes there is no excuse.
TT
-------------------------------
I had to laugh at myself when I re-read: I was stunned and sad and internally questioning myself inside and out.  Really? internally - inside & out?  I was thinking I need to post the warning signs of being a functioning lunatic...this being at least one...

Resistable

There isn't a problem with baking.  There isn't a problem with getting the urge to whip up a few recipes you enjoy putting together.  There isn't a problem with the process you go through to create delectable morsels.

The only problem encountered is that you might feel the need to taste the finished product or even the batter pre-cooked.  There is a problem that you feel the need to see how well or badly they might have turned out.

The problem is how do you resist making a meal out of two tins of cookies.

You take them to work.  I guess they tasted just fine.

TT

Way, what?

"I weigh what?"
When did that happen? When did I put the extra pounds on?

I can sit and pretend I didn't notice. I can act as if there weren't any changes in my snacking or lack of exercise. HA! Don't kid a kidder. I knew exactly what I was doing and continued on down that merry path ignoring all the warning signs. Now it's time to change course, or more accurately to get back on my course. I know what to do, how to do it, and have already done all the parts of fitting it in to my lifestyle. I have broken through all the hard obstacles. I just need to get back to it.
I bought a scale again. I have been without one for many, many months since the last one got demolished. No, it wasn't me. I didn't take a sledge hammer to the thing the way you are imagining it. I came home one day and a picture hanging above it had fallen and the corner smashed right through the digital read-out. I swear!
But now it’s been replaced and I can keep an eye on myself.
I will need to make some changes to my after work schedule of coming straight home.  I will need to make my stop at the gym. The workout needs to happen at that time and I’ll find a way to work it in. I don’t have a doubt.
It would be nicer to have a workout buddy. That common goal interaction can be a real boost.  All the experts agree it is one of the best ways to stay with a routine. But that isn’t likely to happen.  I won't let it hold me back.  I will go it alone.
Well, I guess the only thing left to do is to get started.
I’m on it.
TT

Is it on the list?

I am starting with my lists again. I admit to being a list-maker. Sometimes it’s mentally but when I have multiple tasks I want to accomplish I turn to my lists. I create lists of all the things I should and want to be doing. I keep separate lists of different tasks but then I sometimes combine the lists into a broad overview. It’s my method of putting some order into my chaos. It’s my method of being able to define the things I want to do and figure out how and when I can get them done.
My lists will range from short term tasks to long term achievements. I somehow am able to track progress from these reminders. They help me sort through my distractions while I am working on them.
I don’t lose my lists. I know exactly where they are when I need to add to them and where to find them when I need to be reminded what is on them. I don’t over-think them when I create them, I just keep them concise and to the point and honest.
It is always a pleasant discovery when I go back to my basic list and find there isn’t a need to change the tasks on it. The initial things I have put on this list are things I am still working on. They are things that are still important and bright and fun and a challenge. And yes…they all involve some type of work to be done on my part.
It is just another of my many tools or tricks I use on myself to get the important things done.
TT

Cop-out

Do you think the picture posting yesterday was a cop-out? It was. Of course it was. But I also knew my limitations during that specific instance. I shouldn’t have been doing anything. I knew after coming out of anesthesia from my surgical procedure that I was groggy and sleepy and would not be able to put two words together. I knew I had limitations. That was when I opted for pictures instead of words. It was at least pictures of the place I would have preferred to have been.
It was later in the day that I started feeling so good. I didn’t seem to have any of the issues they said I might and I didn’t feel like I had anything done to me at all. I felt that good.
Not so much this morning. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel bad but I do feel a little more tired today then I did yesterday. I was hoping to use today to get organized but am realizing that I will need to give in to the taking it easy that everyone has been urging me to do. I don’t always do that so well, but I’m trying.
So I’m stopping myself here to go off and read a few more chapters of the book I’ve started. I am hoping that by not persisting to continue working now will prove to revitalize me to get more done later. I mean, that’s what that bench from the first picture from yesterday said wasn’t it? Relax and Revitalize.
Okay…I’ll try.
TT

Just pics

These are a few more of the pictures I took last August.

I was just wishing I was there.
TT

Ignorance isn't

Sept 14 – What’s it worth - I didn't have time and when I did I was too tired to put any words down of any worth.
Sept 6 – Chapter one countdown - I managed to run the entire 3 mile route in my neighborhood without much strain.
August 25 - Still have time - If I get myself into some proper shape I should be able to do the Zumba class and run that distance afterward. But wait, I need to slow down.
July 17 - Bonus - I went to class today and was not doing well. My stamina is off, my feet are cramping.

Are these my own words coming back to haunt me? Did I have tell-tale signs of a sluggish anemia creeping back at me that I chose to ignore? I was wondering just that recently. When I was diagnosed again with extreme anemia that I thought I had taken care of the end of last year, I started wondering how I could have missed any symptoms.
I felt completely broadsided when I had gone into a regular annual checkup last month and was told my iron numbers had plummeted to near transfusion levels again. I couldn’t believe it. I was just going in for my annual – yep – all if fine, you’re okay checkup. And then they tell me this iron deficiency is back again.
So, then I started thinking maybe I had ignored the signs and just thought I needed to work harder. I’m not convinced that is what I did even with the clips I have above. I can’t be sure.
I hope this doesn't happen again. I am going in this morning to hopefully take care of it once and for all. The doctor seemed absolutely positive that it would and after today I will only need to take my iron pills for an additional 30 days.
So that will be that.
Next.
TT

Crazy nonsense

I have been in a state of hurry up and catch-up the past few days. It is one of those times that you are working a short week and you have to accomplish everything you would for a regular week but things come up that also need to get done and it overwhelms and throws you off schedule. Then add to it you have outside evening appointments that in turn put you behind in your off-time activities.
But you finally get to the point where you are sitting quietly with a glass of wine. Everything can hold just for a while and you move your hand to enjoy the glass as it wobbles and tumbles over as you bolt up and try to catch it as it spills into a puddle of red. You scramble to sop it up before it soaks in but you know it is already turning into a raging purple stain.
It’s been like that and this below is what happens. I could say it was just an assignment in character and dialogue. I could say that.  Now that I think about it...Yeah…that's what I am going to say.

I have been thinking.
“No kidding, really? I say to myself. The blog only shouts how these are my thoughts.”
“Yeah, well. You don’t need to state the obvious to me.”
“No? You sure?”
“Ah man, now I don’t remember what I was going to say. I’ve lost the thought.”
It sounds crazy doesn’t it, but that's how it has been going. It has been one of those mornings, one of those days…a few of those days. I don’t know why but all of a sudden things have been crashing, tumbling over each other. When did I get so frantic? When did I get behind and lose my pace? It sure seems like that has happened and I haven’t had a chance to straighten it out.
“I know, take a deep cleansing breath.”
“And what? Everything will magically get done by the elves? What fairly tale do you live in?”
“Just stay calm, it will work out.”
“Not unless you do something. It won’t fix itself.”
“Fix itself. I didn’t break anything. There has just been a lot going on.  I've been busy.”
“So then, what? Excuses?”
“Hold up just a second. You are not helping things here. How am I supposed to think?”
“Hey, I’m not stopping you. I’m the only reason you’ve got anything written down at all.”
“And look at what exactly I’ve gotten down.”
It could go on like this for a while but I need to break these two up. They will never agree or fix or accomplish anything when they get like that.  They only wished they lived in a fairly tale somewhere.  It's been busy and hard to stay focused.
But don't worry.  Sometimes it needs to go a little outside the box.  Well, okay, a lot outside - but once it's out does anyone really measure how much?  Hopefully not.   
TT

To Russia with love

 

My counter hit 500 early yesterday morning. I am not sure what exactly that means or what will happen now. I only had 500 free counts and now that it has hit that number I am not sure if it just stops or how it works. I guess I could go back to the site and read what happens but I am feeling rushed at the moment and probably won’t find the time or fit that in right now.
I believe what will happen is that it recycles the oldest number I have and replaces it with the newest. That might not be such a bad thing since it took me a few weeks to figure out how to adjust it so it didn’t count me. How many times did I go in and out of the blog to read, re-read, adjust, correct and it was counting me that whole time. It might have made the numbers increase but not a very real thing. And I haven’t had the counter since I started the blog so that factors into the stats counted. Geez, I really don’t like math problems. I did managed to stop it from counting me and even though I don’t regularly average but a smaller than handful views a day it has been interesting. I am always amazed when someone finds me from across the world even if by accident.
I had checked my counter on a Sunday during the last week in August and I realized I was going through a dry spell. I had kept plugging away unawares. There hadn’t been any views in maybe a week or so but then I noticed there was one view by someone in Russia that day. I was actually excited! Not a single view for so long and now this. I looked again, double –checked and Wow! I came running down the stairs and happily announced that someone in Russia had viewed my small post! I blathered how they had been there a whole minute 50 seconds! (That is a small bit of time if you are reading, isn’t it?) I was excited for about a minute 50 seconds. Then I started to figure it out. The adrenaline eased off and I calmed down enough to think of what really might have happened. I bet they had probably searched, hit my link, and went to refill their coffee. (Coffee in Russia? Is that the preferred drink? What about the time difference? It probably wasn’t morning). But then I thought what really happened was they got back after retrieving their desired beverage, realized my site wasn’t what they were looking for, and clicked out again – no reading involved but counted just the same for a minute 50 seconds. It didn’t matter. After my dry spell I was taking every little bit as encouragement.
So now I have hit my 500 limit and not sure if it would stay stuck at 500, reset to zero or just go away. Ah well, I’ll keep plugging away anyhow. But a big thanks to Russia and all the other randomly mistaken views from far-away and amazing places. From the map above you can see them.
I do need to say that as amazing as those views are, there is no doubt how much more important to me are the one(s) that have been so loyal and stayed viewing a whole minute 50 seconds with beverage already in hand.
TT

TV and Books

I have managed recently to pull away from the television long enough to actually read a few books. I don’t actually watch that much television in comparison of some people. I don’t think I do. It seems that way when they are encouraging me to watch this or that show and I can’t seem to think to turn on the set. Then there is the problem of when I do turn it on I can’t seem to find anything on the hundreds of channels that I want to watch at the time I happen to turn it on.
Does everyone agree that that is the way television works or just another thing that I seemed to be bothered by? You have that many channels so nothing will be on when you are ready to watch. I guess that is why you have to be prepared and figure out what you want to watch in advance, search the time, day and channel it will be on, so it can be recorded and you only need to play it whenever you are ready. So much preparation time spent in watching a television show. So does anyone watch television in real time? I don’t know. There is never anything I want to watch when I am ready to watch it.
I’ve manage to read a few books. Not much in comparison (again with the comparisons) but then it is more than I have read in the past few months. I really enjoy my books. There are these new devices that are supposed to be great for readers like me. You’ve heard of Nook and Kindle2? I was made aware of them as they appeared but I will need to spend more research time to see if it’s a bit of technology I might consider.
For me, I am sorry, but there is something about holding that real bound paper in my hand – yes I know they are calling them dead tree. I read a comment made by (excuse me but an idiot) about how using the Nook or Kindle was great but it was diminishing the scores of books for people to see how well read he was. Right, because that’s the reason I read. No!  That is so not the case. I like my paper bound books but I don’t keep them around for people to see. They are sold right back to the bookstore for the quarter or nickel or I give them to someone who wants to read them. So then I wonder about having a device that has a library of books when I don’t have that now, although you can lend books on the nook. Well, as long as the person you are lending to has a similar device or smart phone.
I guess the little research I did wasn’t the best place for these new techie books. I will have to focus on real articles and stay away from the peoples comments I find along the way. I should even wait until 11/30 when Barnes & Noble will have a device in the store I had hold and take a look at.
Somehow, even then I don’t know that I will stray too far from the old fashion real books made of paper I am used to.
But you never know.
TT

Has to happen

I am afraid this post might be terribly disjointed. I have been trying to sneak moments to write. It has been one of those glorious days that there was just so much more life to fit in that I couldn’t find my time to get this together. But that is okay even if it is 12 hours later than I would normally post and I am still managing it somehow. And I was still able to fit in the glorious parts of life.

Part One: Hello, sunshine!
That was my silent greeting to the sun at 7:45 am this morning as I made my first mile running. I was able to get three full miles in and the inclines on that first section was going to beat me up. The sun helped pull me along and the song Welcome to the Black Parade by The Chemical Romance came on about that time. I was stoked but careful. I was probably going at a snails pace but I got it done, accomplished, cross-it-off the list for today.
Part Two: The plan
Today I am going over to see my oldest, Sonny’s, new house. He bought a brand new three bedroom, two stories home. I had seen a few pictures before he had gotten final approval and it looked lovely. There was a little stress on his part as the countdown of approval, closing, and finally the actual moving in took place. He has been there about two weeks and was hoping to have us over sooner but wanted to have more furniture in place. He decided since items weren’t going to be delivered for another 10 days or so he didn’t want us to wait.
Part Three: The game
(I brought my laptop to Sonny’s new house)
It is extremely difficult to try to put a thought together while everyone is watching a 50” plasma TV with surround sound. (The furniture isn’t here yet but the TV? It’s here.) It makes it even more difficult when it is tuned to a football game that everyone has gathered around and is into a very intense game. I guess it is intense. They were certainly yelling and standing, and sitting and yelling. I think that makes it pretty intense. And difficult for me to think but if I get a few thoughts down, I might be able to find a quiet moment later to put it together. Wow…almost half-time and an interception by our team, everyone on their feet, clapping, cheering. What, what happened? Now they are pitching questions at the television, still standing. Oh, is that what it was? A 56 yard field goal…by the right team. Okay. Thank goodness it’s half time! Oh what? They scored so I have to celebrate with a Negra Modelo. Not too bad.
Part Four: Resetting my desk
I have gotten my laptop all reconnected and everything put back in its proper place in my work area upstairs. I have spent whatever time I've needed to pull this together even 12 + hours after my usual post time but hey.  It was a great day. Start to finish and every single thing that happened in between made me smile.  It was no doubt a great day.
Not so good a post… but then…sometimes life has to happen.
TT

Do it

I woke early as usual this morning with a 55 degree temperature and 100% humidity. Dense fog was hanging low on the tops of the neighborhood fences. It had been a while since I have been out on a weekend run and I had been fearful of attempting it with all the health concerns that had penetrated my brain. Somehow, all the reasons I could muster to avoid running where out there for the taking. I shuffled the why I shouldn’t go out reasons like cards and it seemed I had a full house if I wanted to play that hand. I didn’t think I wanted to play that hand. I wanted to go out but felt I needed to make some type of compromise.
“Okay, you. If you are planning on going out there, you need to make it a walk. You can go with your 3 mile route in the neighborhood with the goal to only walk and if you feel the slightest bit of dizziness or light-headedness, you stop, rest and come back.”
So I had a goal – walk 3 miles. I wish I could say I achieved it but I didn’t.
I started by attempting to avoid my desire to go out and tried to occupy my early morning time by sitting in front of my computer to give me a diversion. It was still slightly dark and the fog was really intense. It was colder than I would like. Give it some time. I knew I would have to dress accordingly but that wasn’t a problem. Besides, I am only walking. I can wear my black Nike crop running pants and my long sleeved top. I thought about it and checked another web site. I checked a link to a bowling league site belonging to a friend of mine. I had been given an honorary T-shirt of the team and had it hanging in my closet. I knew the site never updates before Tuesday but I was stalling and thought I could figure out more of the numbers posted from last week that I never quite understand since I don’t bowl. I was surprised to see the most recent numbers were posted and they were in first place! Oh! I checked again since I wasn’t sure but, yes, it seemed it was…points won, pins +HDCP, team ave, high game…all higher than any other teams – First Place!
Then the thought, shuffle those reason cards again…fog…this honorary t-shirt is primary red. I could wear that to deflect the fog. I am going to walk. My honorary team is in first place and I’m sitting here doing nothing. Not a chance.  No more sitting around.

My goal was to walk 3 miles. I got dressed, plugged myself in to my iPod and went out the door. I started out, up the street and tried to pick up my pace. I tried. I tried to keep walking. I was out there, it was good, but I couldn’t keep walking.

No. I started out really wanting to walk the 3 miles and I couldn’t.

I ran the rest of the way.
 
TT

No biggie

I wasn’t giving much thought to what people kept on their desks at work. I hadn’t really noticed how much or how little people put out on display. When I took the time to look around I realized there are some individuals that keep their areas stock piled with all kinds of things. There are some that have a multitude of personal paraphernalia. I am not talking about a picture of their kids or family but an entire extravaganza of documented, catalogued vacation trips and souvenirs.

Some keep things that are entirely work-related but have managed to collect every type of office product available and have them on top of their desks. These individuals usually also have more products to staying organized than would be humanly possible to keep up with in order to stay organized. It kind of defeats the purpose. I thought, anyway. Besides, how do you even find anything under all the pictures and souvenirs from vacations past? I don’t know. It’s not my desk.

And no, it isn’t my desk. But what started all of this was someone pointed out things on my desk. Things I had not noticed myself. I don’t keep a lot of anything on my desk. It is pretty bare minimum. I had not consciously noticed the things I have on my desk.

I don’t have pictures of anyone on my desk. The only souvenirs I have are two small items that were brought back to me from other peoples trips and the only office products I have is the usual stapler, hole-punch, and post-it notes.

“Everything you have on your desk is so small!” they pointed out.

They went on to inventory the items laid out in front of me. I use an X61 ThinkPad laptop at work. It has a 9 ½” screen. I do not have a monitor.  I use just the laptop. I had a monitor but I felt like I was at the drive-in movie when I used it so I had them take it away.

I use a pocket size planner.

My iPod is always on my desk.

I use a 5 x 3 spiral memo pad instead of a steno pad.

Then it was pointed out how small I write.

And that I drive a small car.

I don’t know the hidden meanings to any of this. I don’t think I want to dive into the reasons of all the smallness. I am going to take it as just observations. Really, believe me; I am not going to think about what all the small items mean. Don’t think I will dwell on it. I won't.  It's not something I will spend any time on thinking about.  It wasn’t anything I did consciously so it’s no big deal.  No.

But there doesn’t seem to be anything big involved here anywhere, does there?  Alright, maybe I will wonder what that means just a bit.

TT

Shhh! listen

I am an extremely good listener. When other people need to talk I seem to have a way to make them feel comfortable and I can really hear what they are saying. You would never know that about me from reading any of these posts. How could you? I am doing all the talking here.
But I am and it is actually my preference to listen to someone else then to keep hearing myself go on and on. I can do that too…the going on and on. Believe me; I can see the eyes glaze over and the need for cracking fingers and necks when I’ve gone too far on asking what I can do better about writing.  But I can’t see that from here and monitoring myself is a tough job when I am here alone.
So the fact that I have talked my head off in this blog and not said a thing can be distressing for me. It seems distressing today and then I’ll get words clogged up in my head again and I will have that need for them to come out and spill across the page. And I’ll accomplish my 500 word average a day and go on from there.
I was trying to get some perspective on my behavior of talking so much about writing by reading some blog posts inside a story publishing web page that were interesting. The majority of writers with recent posts were talking about the difficulties they were having. Most writers were apologizing for not posting by a time frame they had previously promised. Some wrote about unexpected delays that had come up in their personal life to delay a chapter and one wondered if anyone had noticed how they were making everything possessive lately and if they had noticed to let her know. One admitted his surprise to find how difficult it really is to try and get words organized and put something out that has a flow or makes sense. I can totally agree and maybe I need to read more of those posts every now and again. It is good to see how some of the things I am feeling are quite common.
So I guess I stopped going on and on long enough to listen to others going through the same thing. It was good to hear.

Told you I was a good listener.  Now I need to work on the compliments.
TT

November oh three

It was total coincidence that I was scrolling through my sent emails yesterday.  I was looking for an address of someone at an outside location that I needed to contact for work.  I came across this poem I had written in 2007 that I had sent to an out-of-town friend of mine.  I will re-post the poem here just for fun. 

T’was the Saturday after Halloween
And I needed to dash
Across the street to the grocers
To exchange food for cash

I left unsuspecting
My simple abode
To make a quick trip
It would be a light load

When just as I entered
The front of the store
I heard the one sound
That’d put an end to this chore

I listened more closely
And yes, could it be
They’re playing Christmas Carols
On November oh three (11/03)!

You’ve got to be kidding
Must be a mistake
What happened to Thanksgiving?
Its 80 degrees, for Christ’s sake

I pulled out my cell phone
But who do I call?
My spouse knows I’m crazy
This will add to it all

So I dialed a quick number
Of a friend I know well
I know she will tell me
I’m going straight to hell

But this is so off
It’s not even funny
It’s amazing the things
Some will do for the money

This isn’t about Christmas,
Religion or sharing
The obvious intent,
Well to me, it was glaring

How dare they play music?
So early in the season
The enormity of their greed
Has got to be the reason

So I left a quick voicemail
Which she may never return
But it calmed me enough
To ease my quick burn

I stormed to the checkout
And made quick of my work
Whoever was responsible
Was certainly a jerk

I had cut my trip short
And maybe more didn’t stay
Because that Christmas season music
Wasn’t playing the next day!

My out-of-town friend had sent me an email back with wonderful compliments that I managed to discount and not remember until I re-read them yesterday. I have no idea why I can't seem to take a compliment. She had certainly given me an extraordinary one.  I mentioned it yesterday to another friend (actually the one that I had left the voicemail for in the poem) and she agreed.  Her actual words were..."yes, you have a hard time with that."
I wonder what piece of me is missing that I can't let myself accept them.
But that aside...I hope you enjoyed the poem.  I do remember it being fun putting it together.

TT

Not coffee time

The daylight saving time change to fall back has me in my normal disrupted state. It doesn’t seem to matter if I gain an hour or lose an hour; I manage to stumble through an entire week without knowing what time it is. I have had the eerie feeling of I’m awake so it must be time to get up when it’s an hour earlier than I should. But then I’m up and dressed and ready to go.
So that is why I am here this morning. This is just another morning of having more time. I write in the mornings (and the evenings) but you usually don’t see that post (if you see it at all) until a day, two days later. I have a feeling that this morning you will get another real time deal. I mean it is only 5:53 am at this moment, I am dressed and ready to walk out the door and I have a paragraph of whiny complaining done already.
And today I have even more time since I have an appointment at 9:00. First thing I did when I got out of bed was go to make coffee. That isn’t a big move away from my routine but this morning I was pouring the water in and realized I can’t have coffee this morning! This appointment involves more blood work to be done for this crazy anemia I am suffering through, which means fasting, which means no coffee, no nothing, nada. So I’m up earlier than usual, I can’t have coffee, the appointment isn’t until 9:00 and I not only have to do blood work but an EKG and a chest x-ray, so it will be – hmmm – what do you guess…11:00 before I am out of there.
Then find the nearest Starbucks and you can bet they will ask if I need room for cream when I order my Venti black coffee. Just wait…I know they will. Then I have to see if I am able to find my way out of there because I always somehow get turned around and go in the wrong direction. I know the area but it always happens I go down the right street but headed in the wrong direction for where I need to go. At least it isn’t raining. I wonder if it will start raining about 9:00.
I could spend some extra time reading but the book I picked up isn’t that good. It was a suggested book that I unfortunately will need to give a poor review to the person that suggested it to me. I guess it’s an okay book if I was an adolescent male teenager but somehow I know the fully grown man that suggested it to me won’t be thrilled to hear that. Well, what? I gave it a shot, didn’t I? I am planning on finishing it. Maybe the book will change my mind by the end.
And yes…enough...the end.
And all that without a drop of coffee.
TT

Dreaming

For some reason I was thinking about dreams. I am not talking about the kind of dreams where I am asleep and have this movie going on in my head. I am not talking about the kind where that movie happens and I wake and try to figure out what it was all about. Not those. I haven’t had those lately or I don’t ever seem to remember them if I do. I am not sure why. I can speculate that it might be that I have so much going on in my head when I am awake that there isn’t any room left when I am sleeping. But that is just pure speculation. I don’t know why I don’t dream or why I don’t seem to remember them if I do.
I was thinking more of the other types of dreams, waking dreams, wishes and hopes. The kind that is something I can see sort of hazy, out there in my future somewhere. I am talking about the kind of dreams that I would like to have or aspire to at some point in the distance.
Maybe it is an odd thing to be thinking about but maybe not so much as the year wraps up and winds down. The time when everyone starts to think about what they want to do for the coming year. I am just always a little ahead of myself, that’s all.
I guess I was thinking how hard it is to make that dream out there in the hazy future into something real. It is the kind of thing that always seems to float out of reach. It seems I am softly pushing it away as I reach for it so it always stays those same safe paces away. I know these are things I really want but it is so hard to break them out of the dream box they are contained in once you get them close enough. It is so much safer to leave them in their own packaging. They are so nice and perfect there. How do I get them out of their hard shell and make it something truly mine that I can feel and see with my own hands and eyes.
It isn’t easy. It is much easier to leave them in the hazy distance to wish and admire and think how perfect they could be.
But it is only when I reach out and grab and smash it into reality that I find the goodies inside so well hidden and protected.
I have to smash through. The prize is not always what I might expect.
But it proves a prize just the same if I can find the courage to try and not just dream at arms length.
TT