Overthinking it

I have been doing a really good job of not taking things too, very seriously lately.  I have managed to get a lot of things done with a good amount of quality while dismissing most of the extra pondering I would do that would normally hold me up.

I do have to admit there is one constant thought I haven't been able to dispel lately that has taken up too much time in my thoughts.  It's totally ridiculous and I wish I could dash it out of my head but I am anticipating an argument.  I have my last session with the personal trainer at the gym on Friday (tomorrow).  I am actually quite glad it is the last session.  I think I've had enough one-on-one time.  I've been able to meet this once a week schedule for the past 7 or 8 weeks and I've expanded my knowledge of the whole core/strength training I always knew about but always ignored.  It's been a good thing for me to do for myself.

But it's time to end.  Tomorrow is my last session and I am hoping to leave it at that.   I'm done with the sessions I've paid for and I don't want to continue.  But, I know my trainer is going to try to talk me into more sessions.  It started last week with a brief discussion, so I've had a conversation in my head going on since then about how I will need to end it without getting talked back into going for more.  I know there will be all these good reasons presented why I should continue.  I understand those reasons, and they make sense.  I am just at the point where I need to go my own way.  I need to move on.  The weather is going to be fabulous tomorrow  where I would rather be outdoors pounding the street instead of stuck inside a gym. The trainer doesn't get that and never will.

I need to make tomorrow my last session and I will need to stay firm no matter the arguments.  It really is best and I need to break away.  Even so, it makes me feel a little weird since tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I've spent so much time contemplating breaking up with my trainer.
TT

Totally lost in thought

It's straight up 6:00 am in the middle of the week.  It's currently 35 degrees with the outlook of it getting warmer and then warmer some more.  I will be going into work today, getting it done, and then leaving to come home again.  Or possibly the gym.  I should have gone to the gym yesterday but no, I didn't.

I will probably go on a mini-rant now.  If I'm allowed a cliche I will say, I am paving that road to hell.  You know the one - with instead of asphalt or blacktop, it's paved with good intentions.  I've been doing a lot of paving lately.  Think about it or wait no, you don't have to, because I already have.  All those wasted good intentions.  They don't mean a thing if you can't back them up.
(I'm not sure where the imagery of that saying is supposed to go.  If you are busy paving the road to hell with good intentions and then actually back those good intentions up at some point -does that make you veer off to another road?  Have you stopped the job of actually paving it and allowed to travel instead of working on the maintenance of the road?  I wonder if whoever came up with that saying was a runner since they always seem to be out pounding a road somewhere, leading to who knows where).  Just a stray thought...what the hell does that saying mean?  The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  ?  What are other roads paved with - you know, the better ones.  ?

Obviously, I'm not so very worried about the state of my gym or no gym.  I'm on my own road and it's not so very bad.  It leads to and from my house...which is a very, very, very fine house...with two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard, but everything is easy...

Damn...it's still 35 degrees.
TT

  

Not bored

So much to do.

I have so many things swirling around in my head that I need or would like to get done.  It started yesterday and is barreling headed of me this morning.  Prioritize, prioritize.  There isn't any way I can get all of it done but I am trying to think of what would serve me best to do first or what I need to get started on that I can break down into smaller bits. I've already been picking away at some things this morning but every time I walk through the house another thought enters my brain as I think, I should do that, I should work on this.

First things first, I guess.  And it is a weekend when I'm supposed to have a little down-time.  That's what I am told.  It's tough to think about that when there seems to be so much to do.  But that's always the case, isn't it?

So much to do.  But, so much better than being bored.
TT

Don't talk

I've done fairly well with the weather so far.  I am not a fan of winter.  There it is, plain and simple.  I cannot compare this winter to last winter or the winter before.  I cannot process the winter I am experiencing here to someone else's winter somewhere else that might be much worse.  My brain shuts down or closes a curtain, and it all becomes a blur of cold, numbing frustration.  I'm not looking for sympathy by saying this.  I'm just stating how I process this entire season.and how it works for me.  Or rather, how it doesn't work for me.  And yet, this time, I feel I've done fairly well with my tolerance level.  Frustration about the weather hasn't been as...well...it hasn't been as...frustrating.

I've tried really, really hard to refrain from mentioning the weather.  I have not brought it up in casual conversation.  I've avoided the topic.  I think that has helped.  I haven't centered my focus on it so it can't become as important.  I've, sort of, pushed it to the back burner (if only I could heat it up that way).  I realized this morning as I read another winter weather advisory that the 27 degrees we have hit yet again should begin to progress slowly upward by sometime in the next two days.  I think.  If there isn't another winter weather advisory.  What I do think about, is the fact that I was at least able to run outdoors last Sunday and this past Tuesday.  These small, miraculous breaks in the weather has helped.  I'm looking forward to when these small breaks fill more and more of the calendar days instead of these treacherously low, cold ones.  I'm hoping soon but not focusing on them.  Except for this morning, when I couldn't hold out any longer and had to bring up the weather.  Casually.
TT    

Word for the day

The word for the day is:
busy  - actively doing something; full of activity or work; full of people or things.

Actually, to be accurate, it isn't the word of the day but the word of the last week and a half.  I expect today won't be as busy.  That might be wishful thinking and solely based on the fact that I won't be occupied by the same 'busy' as the last week and a half.  Somehow I thought this strain of 'busy' would have ended or at least tapered after last Friday.  It didn't.  Monday was incredibly more 'busy' than the previous days which made it a little overwhelming.  I hadn't expected it.  Yesterday still had its issues but finally here today I am expecting to get back to some regular work and not have as much of the 'busy' interference.  Actually, to be accurate, I am hoping to catch up on my regular work that I have had to put aside with all the other work I have been doing that had to take priority.

By tomorrow, everyone at work that was in the module affected by the small fire on the roof, that never entered the building but caused horrific smoke damage and caustic fumes, will be moved over to new locations into the adjoining module.  The damaged module will be closed off and repairs will be made.  I think I am at the end of this coordination effort that I have been so heavily involved.  Do I really think that might ease some of the 'busy'?  I will have to wait it out to answer that question.  My thinking is now that I am surrounded again by multitudes of personnel, instead of the vacant quiet I have come so accustomed, will make a new normal for the word 'busy'.

I'm taking it a day at a time.  And I have my running shoes with me at all times.
TT

Super Bowl Snacks

Sonny outdid himself with the Super Bowl meal he prepared yesterday.  The previous week we were at his and Selma's house when he was talking about the menu he was thinking about.  It was a very good menu.  I didn't realize he was inviting us over.  I'm not sure why except that I figured he would have other friends that would be attending the big ball game and I can't remember the last time I watched a super bowl or even a football game for that matter.  The conversation about the menu he was talking about was all I was interested in whether I participated or not.

It turned out we were invited and he prepared every last thing on the menu.  He even didn't prepare one last thing because it was too much food!  He left off the street tacos from yesterdays menu but I got a really good taste of the green sauce he was planning on using on them and it was beyond the best.  It was especially hot.  I happen to like flavors that inch toward peppery paradise so I bagged a small portion up and will use for a meal today.

So here is how Sonny lined it all up.  Starting out with jalapeno poppers stuffed with diced crispy bacon  and cream cheese, topped with cheddar.

Just as the last popper was taken the next option of stuffed potato wedges were laid down for tasting.  Mmmmmm!

And then...came the sliders.  Sonny fixed Italian sausage with homemade red sauce!  But then he also fixed up some pulled pork with homemade barbecue sauce (to die for), topped with cabbage slaw on Hawaiian rolls.  It was sweet, tangy, bursting with flavor.  Jay stole a couple of those to take home but only after eating his fill of Italian sausage sandwiches!  You can see why Sonny didn't go head and make the street tacos.

My only contribution was the banana nut bread.  But who had time or room for dessert?  Save it for later.

And after all this food!  So delicious, such a great job, Sonny!  

And me...now...take thee to the gym, girl!

TT

More juice?

Saturday!  Where have you gone?

I started the morning with several cups of coffee while I balanced out the shops sales.  That was only to give me some time to drink my coffee and wait for a little more light outdoors.  That is when I geared up, tied my laces, and went out the door.  I managed a 6 miler because I was determined.  I needed it as a gauge because I wanted some mental reinforcement before I signed up for the 10K at my personal paradise in March.  I think I proved I should go ahead and register.  It isn't as if I can't do the distance.  I want to do that run.  But I felt I needed to test myself yet again before actually making the commitment.  Now there is no reason not to go ahead and sign up.  I've passed.

I can start planning the trip.  I can make all the arrangements.  I even went out yesterday and got myself a new pair of running shoes.  I would have needed to do that anyway but this makes it even better.  It's seems slightly odd that for all the really great heels I buy they never cost as much as I am willing to spend on my running shoes.  I could get into all the rational about that but I'll spare you.  Aren't you glad of that?  (smile)

But the day has gotten late.  I'm sitting here with Mr. L while his Mom, Selma, takes a spin around my neighborhood.  I got her a new pair of running shoes, too (for her birthday) and she brought her shorts and so, well, she is having a run while I watch the little guy.  He's sitting behind me.  He likes it there.  It works well for both of us up here.  Except now he wants more juice...

Where has Saturday gone?
TT