Don't be

Sometimes everyone needs a little resolve.  Sometimes, it seems, comes more often to me than others.  I just don't realize I need it until the wheels fall off.  And then I fret and whine since I don't want to think I let it get to that point.  But I do.
At the very end of February I decided I wasn't getting enough running in and I was over my comfortable weight.  I needed to lose 4-6 pounds and I wanted to up my running to 5 days a week.  I hit those two ideas with full force.  No looking back, no taking prisoners, just full-on get it done mode for me.  I searched and found free tools and used them to the maximum possibilities for my results.  I logged every bite of food, every glass of water, and commiserated with others for a full 15 weeks.  I lost at least 6 pounds or maybe 4 because at the same time I was racking miles up like there was no tomorrow.  I managed over 100 miles each month for two months and 52 in the first two weeks of June.  The difference in the two pounds of weight might be an increase of muscle replacing fat because of the miles.  I was stronger, leaner and happier until my routine needed to change again. 
I love my hot weather but 95 degrees after I get out of work is a tad too much to get any decent miles run.  I haven't been able to get out there as often.  I'm also tired of logging every bite of food.  I've gotten to that point where the routine is changing again and I'm at a loss of what to do next since I was in such a swing of things from before. 
Since I felt good about the first two things I could only start kicking myself about another.  What else?  Writing, of course.  I hadn't been doing that and it seems to be the very last thing I try to do when I'm thinking of all the things I should be doing.  I leave it for last because I'm so afraid of it.  Yeah.  I figured out I'm scared.  Simply.  Scared.  I can search for tools on nutrition and training all on my own and do those things quite well but I'm totally intimidated with doing those same things for writing.  You are not supposed to be a self-taught writer.  You go to school for that.  You talk to other writers, join groups for writing, commiserate and communicate.  But I do all these things on my own and then I scare myself.  At least with writing.
I'm not scared of the other things so why this?  And I can't be scared all the time or I wouldn't have written over 65,000 words already.  So maybe realizing it's only a fear, I can get past it.  I must not be that scared because I keep going back to it.
Sometimes I need a little resolve and this being scared is one thing I don't need to be.
TT