Flu-less

Did you get a flu shot? Are you going to get one?

It was a question that came up while a few people had gathered around my desk. My answer was no. They seemed a little amazed (yet again, people seemed surprised by my answers). Um, no. I have never gotten one. I’ve never gotten sick that I can remember and I even asked the doctor a few years ago. She thought since I had never had one before with no adverse results there didn’t seem a reason for me to start.
The friends around me seemed surprised. I guess it is the thing to do. I guess that is what everyone does. I don’t use those gloppy hand sanitizer like everyone else does either but that wasn’t the subject at the time. I guess I don’t follow the crowds as well as I should.
It was pointed out that the shot was given to help prevent the spread of the flu and not necessarily given to just keep you from getting it.
It was at that point the conversation around me grew very dim and distant and my mind took me away. Prevent the spread...My heart dropped, my stomach gripped tightly and I must have had a distressed look about me. I came up from my fog and said, so I’m carrying around this virus and even though it doesn’t affect me, I am killing off less immune people like children and older seniors?
I guess it was the phrase, killing off, that clued my friend into realizing my thoughts had taken me to a place he didn’t intend. Maybe it was the look of distress on my face because he immediately changed from regular conversation, ha-ha, to a little bit of concern. He rapidly explained that was NOT what he meant and tried to explain I wasn’t in contact with small children. That is true. I am not exactly around children and the only older people I know is me. He didn’t mean I was killing people off. He tried to be reassuring.
I am not sure how it could have been interpreted any other way. He knows I don’t follow the normal rules of thinking. But okay. I think.
I never understood what was really trying to be said. We never got around to explaining that part. Here I was thinking how lucky I've been not to have to get shots because I haven’t been sick…for years. Now I find out differently, I think.

I am not going to tell anyone else I don’t get these shots.
TT