A Penny: reviewed

Hello Tessa

An interesting and inspiring story from start to end. Ben's ability to understand his mother's concern about the penny is admirable. That somehow makes him a considerate and thoughtful man and an affectionate son as well.

The penny story-
Teri's friend has advised her well. There is charity in her thought when she suggested the tails up penny must be turned down for the next person. Very few think of the rest of humanity's good. Few realize what is bad for us is bad for others. In my daily life I see bags full of selfishness and indifference to others.
There is a great lesson in this story. Kindness to others is more important than concern for self.

The last line contains a question which provides food for thought. Many would leave the penny unflipped. But Teri is different. She couldn't leave it the way she found it. Ben's part is no less. He equals the situation by providing an intelligent alternative. It must have given his mother some relief.

The story is told in an engaging style with apt dialog and setting.
Made me go behind the obvious.
Thanks for sharing.
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I wasn't expecting a review this late in the game from the writing site I posted my A Penny piece.  It was totally unexpected to wake up this morning, and find this in my in-box within the site.  But, what a pleasant surprise!  I couldn't have asked for anything better, and the fact that it came with a 5 out of 5 rating topped it off.
I was (finally) right about revising, and reworking the piece in third person, instead of leaving it in the first person point of view.  It helped that I cleaned up all the passive voice, and grammar mistakes.  It was worth the time spent to watch for flow, and separate myself enough to cut the words that were excessive, and dragged the piece down. It was great to get the prior reviews that helped make me aware of some of the problems I could fix. 
The work paid off.  And the best part of the review is that it only talks about the story.  There isn't a single suggestion to tweak.  I managed to grab them up into the story.  
Talk about some excellent motivation!
TT 

A Penny: revisited

Ben didn’t have to work that weekend, so he accompanied his Mom, Terri, for an out-of-town trip.  He liked the idea of showing his support, even if he never fully understood his mother’s desire to run the distance races she kept entering.  He knew this particular race caused her some anxiety.  It was the longest distance she trained for and attempted; it wasn’t a local race, and then the weather had taken a turn for the worse.  Ben wasn't sure how she would fair.

Ben was the younger of her two sons, just turned twenty-three, and was far from the small boy he was growing up.  His height had him taller than his older brother, and he towered over his mother.

Once the activity was underway, Terri, somehow, not only managed to complete the race, but also scored a third place medal for her age category.  It was a challenge, but once finished, there was some well-deserved celebrating after the race. 

Just as they were about to leave the next morning, Terri mentioned that she was thinking about a penny she saw on the ground during the run.

“A penny?” Ben asked.

“Yes,” she said. “You’ve heard about picking up a penny?”

“Yeah, it’s supposed to give you good luck.”

“Yes.  If it’s heads up,” Terri said.  “But, what if it’s tails up?”

“I don’t know.  Do you get bad luck?”

Terri went on to explain what a dear friend told her.  If you see a penny heads-up, it’s good luck, so pick it up, but if you see a penny tails-up, turn it over to heads and leave it for the next person.

Terri didn’t really put too much into believing luck comes from finding pennies, but the thought of passing it on to someone else by merely turning it over intrigued her.  She found herself turning over tails-up pennies ever since her good friend told her about it.  What was the harm?

The problem arose when she saw a tails-up penny while running the race. She struggled with the decision to go back in order to turn it over, but by the time she realized what she saw, it was too far to go back.  It had come up on her too quickly. 

As they were making their way to leave, Terri explained her dilemma to Ben and her thoughts about it.  Ben turned to her and said, “Sounds like we need to go flip a penny.” 

They would be passing the run route on their way out of town.  They drove to the area closest to where Terri saw the penny and parked.  Terri shivered slightly as a breeze blew out over the bay along the pavement where they walked.  She hunched her shoulders and wrapped her arms around her as they followed the curve along the water.   Side by side they walked, making their way down the race route, scanning the ground.  After a while, Terri knew they went farther than where the penny should have been.  She finally stopped and shook her head.  She reluctantly admitted it wasn’t there, so they turned around to head back to the car.  “Ah, well,” said Terri, “at least we got a chance to walk along the water.” 

They walked on silently until her attention was turned to Ben when he pulled his hand out of his pocket.  He held out his palm showing a handful of loose change.  They stopped, and Terri looked at him.

“Take it, Mom.”

“What?”

“The penny.”

She didn’t move or answer him, but looked up at him.

“Take the penny and put it down heads-up,” he said.

She was confused and didn’t move.

“What’s the worst that can happen?  That there are two pennies out here?” he asked, shrugging his shoulders. 

Terri took the penny from his hand, put it on the ground heads-up, and smiled.

“Now, you’ll know one of them is heads-up, Mom.”

Isn't it funny, how a penny can have so much value?

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Nobody calls me Terri, my younger son isn't named Ben, and his older brother would argue that he is actually taller than his younger brother.  All of that is fiction.  The rest of the events in this story are true, if we go back to March of 2009.  It was my first 10K, at my personal paradise, and when Jay bailed on going with me, Dante was happy to take his place.  We really did what I described in the story about the penny.

  

I originally wrote this up in first person back then and posted here.  I recently thought I needed to update it, so I did.  It's almost exactly the same, except for the POV, and now, of course, I think it's better.

Here is a link from this site of the Original version from 3/16/09. 

TT 

Logo

I have a new logo!
Yes.  After much trial and error, after many rejected graphics, and colors, and backgrounds.  After considering this, and removing that to substitute the other, we finally got to the point of this is it!  And it is - it's finally official.
I am talking, of course, about the new logo for my cookies.  My younger son, Dante, took on this task and we have been going back and forth with the company preparing it for us for months.  Yesterday, we finally got the finished product, and WOW!  It's a great feeling, and it looks terrific!  Dante even did a mock-up of a portion of the website, and sent it to me.  It's amazing!
I will have a lot of work now.  I will need to re-design the labels for my packaging to incorporate the new 'branding'.  I'll need to re-work my website, even if it means to pull it from it's present provider in order to make it operate the way I would like.  It means I will need to get my stuff together, so all the things I have learned so far from operating this tiny cottage business, can be boosted just a little.  Maybe when I say the business can be boosted, I really mean I can be boosted.  I mean...it was never supposed to sell like it does and has.  It was just a crazy venture.  And then people called me for cookies.  And now I have a professional logo!
TT

As expected

Yesterday was as expected.  The time at work passed rather quickly.  I was able to work myself through the over 350 emails that were waiting for me after taking my week of vacation.  I have some things I need to tackle first when I arrive at my desk this morning, but it will all take care of itself.  It's all good.
We got some miraculous rain in the middle of the day.  We've been waiting, and I was able to watch it for a while.  I'm not sure why that always entrances me but it does.  I was hoping it would start up again in the evening, so I could watch out of my bedroom window but it didn't happen.  Maybe, it will return today and once again give me that tranquil reprieve from the busy day.
TT  

Back at it

It's off to work I go.
It's a whole other mind set, isn't it?  I was able to enjoy every ounce of the time I had off.  I didn't even start to get mopey yesterday afternoon, as the time was crunching down to where I would normally realize I wouldn't be spending another day without responsibilities.  That has always been a crucial time when I would begin to feel myself sink.  It didn't happen.
I know I will be busy at work today just in catching up, so I expect the time to scoot by rather quickly.  That will be good.  Busy is good.  Then when the day is over, I can re-consider my outlook, and how I will decide my future routines.  But that is for later.  For now, I'm off to work.
TT    

Balancing act

I have another day of vacation today.  This will complete my entire week of being away from work.  I still have the weekend, of course, but that never seems to count as vacation time, since I would normally get that time off anyway.  I shouldn't cut myself short.  I'm not sure why I analyze it that way, but I do.
It's been a good week.  (There I go again, acting as if it is already over).  Let me try that again.  The time off has been very good.  Getting away, and out of town was a good starting point.  Yes, it seemed a little stressful, but I wonder if I wouldn't have been just as stressed if I had gone anywhere else, or even stayed at home.  I was just endlessly tired.  I was needing to break regular routines, and have the time to ditch everything I was normally doing.
I haven't done everything I would have liked to do during my time off.  It's lamentable that as soon as I get the extra time to do things I've been moaning about, I don't use the time for those things.  If I could figure out how to do it all, and not extend myself to the ultimate edge of exhaustion, I would certainly put that plan into action.  I guess I'll need to think of an alternate route.  I would like to say it's about finding that balance but, let's face it, I have a tendency to heap the things I want to do on one end of the see-saw.  There is no way any amount of balancing weight will lift what I've piled there. Let's just say that is the way it is.  I have to be okay with getting as much done as I can, and stop carrying the rest of it around with me.  It can weigh me down.
It doesn't mean I won't stop trying.
TT

Home; it's sweet

I'm home!
I've been here more than a couple of hours already.  I've spent the hours from the time I arrived until now getting things in order.  I am getting everything in it's place to make everything comfortable.  It isn't as if things weren't already in place, but I am now on my way to washing the clothes, and checking the fridge.  A short grocery list: coffee, bread, cake.  Why not?  I'm still on vacation.  So cake it is, for after dinner tonight, or even before, if I decide.
Now that I have things back in place, I'm able to curl up with the brand new Sue Grafton novel #23.  I'm looking forward to it, and as soon as the cake comes out of the oven, it will need time to cool.  The perfect time to start the book.
At home.
Sweet.
TT