Only so much time

I'm at that spot, even as early as it still is in the day, that I haven't given myself enough time. Already I'm looking at the clock and know I have to head out. I try to tell myself I'll get back to this same spot when I'm back at home this afternoon but things don't ever work out that way. The afternoons are not the same as the quiet times in the mornings. There are a million differences that I could count off and give as an excuse, some of them viable and others not so much.

But for now, it's good that I've had at least this moment. I can't help but know I've gone past any allotted time for this morning and will have to relegate anything more to later. Later. I need to start off listing viable reasons this should be relegated for later.
TT

Up the stairs

I converted one of the upstairs bedrooms to use as my office at home. It's more of a workroom with my sewing machines and large table against one wall and also a two-self bookcase and chair. My small desk faces the front of the house so I can look out the two front windows when I stop typing on my laptop. I converted this room years ago when both boys moved out. I kept the other bedroom upstairs as a bedroom and the upstairs bathroom completes the upstairs area.

It's a great little sanctuary of mine. It look me many hours of priming to paint away the dark blue walls my oldest son chose when the room was his. After many layers of lighter paint, I was able to get it all fresh and white. The entire flooring upstairs, including the tiles in the bathroom, was redone when the entire house underwent renovations. Pictures of beaches are arranged on the walls, and even the drapes are a sea foam green. The sheerest of shear so I can see through. If I look behind me while sitting at my desk, the wall above my worktable is lined with running medals. It's all those times I never expected to place yet did.

It's been too many days in a row I've lived in the lower section of the house without giving myself the chance to come up here and pause. Regular life goes on in the downstairs area of this house. All the things that need to get done and become routine happen downstairs. There seems to be a lot of things keeping me down there lately to the point of never making the small trip up.

It's time to come up again more often.
TT

Hey, Petunia

I was wavering ever so slightly yesterday afternoon about heading to the gym. Dark thoughts of avoiding my scheduled run were burning in my brain. The idea of staying comfortable at home was simmering lightly. I could finish that book. I could watch that show I recorded. I could get a head start on dinner. Shaking my head, I dashed all thoughts of skipping the workout and proceeded to get myself dressed and laces tied. I was going for a 4 miler. There was no time to mull over pros and cons. There was nothing to negotiate.

Why all the tug of war? It is certainly getting easier to keep this going. I'm not sure why these fleeting thoughts of not doing what I already have laid out to do keep popping into my brain. I've gotten so much better at stifling the 'don't go' thoughts but it can be somewhat irritating that I will still try to get away with avoiding what I need to do for something that is, well, lame and that I can do later. Why do I keep thinking like this?

I realize it isn't such a big issue as an irritant. It's the act of  breaking bad habits and numbing routines that bring these thoughts to mind. Stepping away from the familiar is going to cause some type of reaction within yourself, right? But it's starting to get irritating that I would try to keep tripping myself up this way. I just have to keep my focus. I have to remember the benefits and how it feels when I've done what I've set out to do. Those books, shows, and other things I want to do during my scheduled run times are still getting read, watched, and done. The next time the idea of skipping out on my run enters my brain I know what I have to tell myself. "Suck it up, Petunia. I have miles to run".
TT

Better to be busy

I think it's going to be a busy day. I don't have any real data to prove that to be true. It's just a feeling. It's really better for it to be busy than not be busy especially if you are work. The slow days pull you down into counting hours, half hours, minutes, that drag out into never seeming to arrive at the time you get to leave. Then when you do leave it turns out it's drained all your energy waiting.

I don't think that will happen today. I have a trip to the gym after work and dinner to get ready. I have my pre-planned list of items I can get done and just the idea of having those things to do keep me moving. It's not easy since it is the middle of winter and I'm not good at doing anything this time of year. I'm not concentrating on that but instead of other things I can do and get done. It's working so far. Don't get me off track.
TT

Stay the course

This past weekend was one big flash. Blinding, then leaving me to rub my eyes and get up as my Monday morning alarm cranks off it's noisy interruption. Time to get up. Already. Start the week.

I'm feeling pretty good about all of it. The weekend was very productive. As I go down my list of items I've written for myself to do I can check off almost all of the items. I have to admit it's almost laughable that the only item that didn't get done was the small amount of writing I said I would do but if that's the only thing that was a fail, it's not so bad.

The good part is I was able to run a 10 miler on Saturday and a 6 miler on Sunday. Can you imagine an hour forty minutes on a treadmill? I didn't think I could do that but it was not only possible but do-able. I did it. I guess it isn't as crazy as taking almost that same amount of time to run in place at home for a 5-miler (Run in place post). I did that, too, back on week two. Now I'm starting week 7 (of 12 weeks) and feeling pretty good. This indoor winter training is do-able. I'll keep at it but know I'll need to haul myself outside at some point. Not yet. Stay focused and don't confuse anything by giving myself choices I can't make up my mind about. Indoor/outdoor, yes/no, here/there is too much and the result is usually nothing happening. Onward with the plan in place. It's working.
TT

Check today only

I didn't start the month of February with a run until the 3rd. I skipped the 1st and 2nd and then I skipped the 4th. I can blame it on a medley of reasons or excuses but instead I will leave it alone and know I've got this. I'm not stopping and training will go on. Did I miss a couple of runs? Yes, I did. Will it matter in the long term and will I even remember them later? Probably not on either counts.

I know this month is amping up as far as distance. I know it's going to be more of a challenge but that is what this is all about. There is no time to stress on how I am going to be able to run that distance or will I be able or I won't be able. No looking ahead. Stay with what's on the agenda today and do that. It's worked that way all last month. This is the same fear I refused to listen to last month poking it's head up again trying to get my attention. Won't work. Didn't work last month and won't work again this month. I have an easy 4 miles today. That's all I need to worry about. I'll check tomorrow tomorrow.
TT

Start February already

I think it's about time I got February started now that it's already the third of the month. I guess I basked in a January glow a little too long. I went over my minimum goal of 67 miles for the month with a total of 72.2. That felt pretty good. Only three out of 16 runs were outdoors but I have the attitude my runs will all be indoors for another month, possibly month and a half. That's okay. I have a plan.

I'm excited with the progress. My longest run was 8 miles. I had 16 runs for an average of 4.5 each run. I registered for a 10K! Another official race instead of merely runs. It won't be until March 12th but it's at my personal paradise and I already have hotel reservations. How's that for not being able to excuse myself into backing out. I enlisted my younger son, Dante to come along. He will and that spurred Jay into wanting to go. Jay doesn't usually want to close the shop on Fridays and Saturdays but we need to drive out there Friday afternoon to be ready to run on Saturday morning. He won't run. I mean me. But he agreed to go so I'm looking forward to that.

Now I need to kick my training back into gear. I took the first two days of this month off. It's time to start running.
TT