Double Duty

You might see four new posts below and one above with the titles in bold black lettering that re-iterates the same title.  These are posts I've written in my portfolio at the writing.com site that I have copied and pasted here.  I am not sure what might have possessed me to write up, start up, or try to post blog entries there when I already had something going here.  (I don't think I have anything going here, but let's all pretend for the sake of argument).

Anyway - If you were wondering about the posts below, or if you were wondering where I went, the answer is the same.  Nowhere.  I'm still in the same place I've always been.  I haven't gone anywhere.
TT

http://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/tessat

Ready for the Week

Ready for the Week

It's Monday and back to work, but I had a great weekend. I woke up Sunday morning with my body screaming for some movement. It was a perfect morning so I laced up my running shoes and headed outdoors. I decided to change things up by heading in the opposite direction of my normal rectangle of miles. Instead of tackling mile one of incline, I went the other way, and that same tough mile became the last mile of easy, downhill running. I've done this before but it's been a very long time since I changed it up. I forgot how much easier it is to run it the other way with me coming down that mile instead of going up. I do get stuck in routines at times even when it doesn't make sense anymore. The run felt awesome. I lost myself to the pace and my own footfalls. My tracker, transmitting through my earbuds, told me I had completed another mile. I didn't realize another was covered. The ease of propelling myself forward had been forgotten as my mind was free and full of other thoughts. The movement stretched my muscles while my mind skipped along to this idea and that thought. When I was all done I completed 4.79 miles feeling better than I have in a long time. It was exactly what I needed. And now the week begins, and I'm feeling ready. Ready for another of those runs. TT

Calling Out My Procrastination

Calling Out My Procrastination

I woke up early this morning. I followed my usual routine by getting up and making coffee. That is when I noticed it was 4:39 a.m. Ah, well, that's a little early. But there is nothing like starting off my weekend. I figured I could use the extra time to get all the things I want to get done, like working on my story. I poured myself a steaming mug and headed upstairs to my space. I clicked on my desk lamp and waited for my laptop to make it's connection. I started by checking emails, entering the book I just finished into goodreads, checked out some writing sites. I checked out more writing sites, and then another. What happened to my writing? I realized I'd spent an hour wandering through short articles about writing that contained information I already knew . How much more information do I think I need to acquire to continue writing? This has turned into a new method of avoidance. Did I think because I was using my time with writing specific sites that it counted towards words on a page? I believe I have come to the point of using these searches as a way to procrastinate the actual process of writing my own pieces of fiction. Of course, that is what it is! I am using my time for everything except actual writing and then claim I don't have time to write! Nothing like an early morning reality check to get myself back on track. Now it's time for another cup of coffee. But before I go downstairs to fetch it, I'm closing this window and opening my word document that contains the story I am writing. Yes, writing. No more reading articles about how I can do it, and then not having the time! TT

Then comes Friday

Then comes Friday

Good Morning, Friday! I know I will be able to shuffle through this work-day without a single misstep. I expect to wind down the clock of my day until quitting time. It might not be the best approach, but I'm sticking with that idea. One idea. One goal. I need to keep busy getting things done all day so the time speeds by and I get my free time. Then the time is my own! My own schedule, my own work, my own free time. Good Morning, Friday! TT

Reminders Can Be Good?

Reminders Can Be Good?

I received a reminder this morning that I needed to update my blog. It told me it had been 4 days, 16 hours and. I don't remember all the specifics, but there was an entire string of numbers telling me how long it had been since I hadn't done something. I had reset the reminder before when it was popping up every day! I knew I needed to be realistic about how often I would be able to write here so I set it for every 4 days. That's when I got the reminder this morning. It must have worked because here I am, blackening a page with alphabetic characters. But it didn't take me long to realize I needed to make a change on how often I wanted that reminder. I've gone through his wonderful delusion before, where I have set reminders, and notices, and used tools to keep me on track, thinking I will get things done more often or on a more timely basis. It didn't always work out as planned. I've figured out that way isn't always the best to motivate myself. It can backfire pretty quickly. It can turn into another reason to feel bad about not achieving something I wanted to do when it hangs out there undone. I'm a pretty self-motivated person as it is. Adding notices and reminders can be a good thing. It's only when I use them to push myself too far, when I have too little time. It's as if when I am the busiest, I will use these type of tools which only set me up to be defeated - by myself. Ah, it's a horrible game of push and shove I play on myself, like nothing anyone else would push me to do. But, ah well. This might have been a good post if I had the time to sort through the ideas I presented. As it stands, it's just a way to be able to delete that reminder out of my inbox, so I can move along to the next notice, reminder, and tracking tool that is ringing away at me at the moment. TT

*sigh*

I need a massage.

I don't really care for massages.  I'm not thrilled with the idea.  I don't think it's the soothing, relaxing experience some people look forward to having done.  I would rather do without.

Unfortunately, I also know that the muscles in my upper shoulders and neck are starting to go beyond the point of being able to un-kink on their own.  They have gotten to the point of the constant ache, and no matter the stretching and prompting myself to relax these spots have eased the feeling of tension that has built up.  I think I have no choice but to surrender to the obvious.  *sigh*

Maybe I can get away with only 30 minutes.  I don't think I could stand an hour.
TT

Friday 'fess up

It's Friday, so it's time for me to 'fess up about my goals. Yes. 

I just posted how I did with the weekly goals I posted on Monday. It turns out, I didn't do as bad as I thought I might. Here are my original goals and how I managed this week.

1)-Arrange to take Friday off from work  
2)-Continue writing on my current short story by committing to:
-Two (2) - 1 hour sessions after work between Monday and Thursday (halloween?!)  
- One (1) - 2 hour session on Friday when off from work  
3)-Run 3 times between Monday and Friday for a minimum distance of 3 miles each time.  I only ran twice for a total of 7 miles (But, I still have the weekend!) 

I had to break down my first writing session into two 30 minute sessions instead of a full hour. I was having terrible trouble getting the words to flow and by the time the clock ticked over to the 30 minute mark I was pretty much toast. I wasn't feeling particularly good about what I had written when I finished that session. As it turned out, I was able to put in another 30 minutes (to complete that hour) early the next morning, and found what I slogged through the day before wasn't too bad. My next attempt went really well and then today, while I was off from work, I skipped through two more one-hour sessions like I was chasing butterflies. There wasn't a thing to worry my silly head over. I must remember this as a testament to keep the discipline, even when I think I need to stop. Hang in there, do the work, even in shorter increments, as long as I consistently keep at it. It's amazing how many written words I have to show when I actually sit down and write them instead of thinking I should. What a concept! 

So, Friday 'fess up wasn't too difficult. I managed to get what I set out to do done. Well, mostly. I did skip one run.
I thought too hard about it.
TT