Grammar issues/obsession

I know I have become obsessed with trying to correct every possible grammar problem I might have with my writing.  The poor, poor piece I've started, the one I am using the working title of Coming Home, is all of 1500 words that has been written, edited, changed, edited again and needs to grow.  It will never hit it's short story mark of 7500 words anytime soon if I can't get myself to move it along.
The first and foremost problem is I keep finding excuses not to work on it.  I ran out of time, I was too tired, I had to go off to do this or that instead.  Classic.  Yes, it's true.  I still take too much of this writing stuff to heart.  I get frustrated when I know I would just like to be able to do it better.  I need to remember I actually enjoy doing it.  And most of the time I do remember but with this piece I need to leave the editing alone and get going with the story writing.
With the 1500 words I have on the story, I am already thinking of changing the working title to Going Back.  Why? Oh why, of all things do I need to be thinking about the title now!?!?  But it sticks in my head.  But, wait, again, back to the grammar problems.  According to my word application I have cleared ALL passive words out of the entire piece.  Whew!  Big mission accomplished.  Then, just to torture myself, I pasted my first paragraph into a trial application at grammarly.com.  Ah.  It seems after all my work I still have 1 issue with punctuation within a sentence and (this worries me more) 2 issues with writing style.  Now, it's got me wondering.  Where are those issues and how do I fix them!  Well, guess what, you have to sign up to find out.  I'm not ready.  And I've become too obsessed right now with all this technical stuff.  I need to get more written and then look into the possibilities of using these nifty, computer editors.
Now, just to to get myself motivated to keep writing, I'll post my original first draft paragraph here below.  After it, I will post the paragraph after my edits.  You can decide which you would rather read first...

Coming Home (original first draft)

By Theresa Tintori

Susan crossed the threshold of the cottage and dropped her luggage on the floor.  The wooden door was wide open behind her and the musty smell that permeated the interior made a rush toward her to escape it’s confinement to try and mingle with the fresh breeze outdoors.  The sounds of rolling ocean waves and a piercing squawk of a gull called out from the other side of the door.  It was almost more than Susan could bear to face the damp and musty room without turning and leaving. 

Coming Home  (after edits)

By Theresa Tintori

Susan stood at the threshold of the beach cottage and dropped her luggage on the floor.  Even with the large wooden door wide open she couldn’t help but whiff the wet, musty smell that permeated the interior.   It swirled toward her trying to escape it’s confinement in order to mingle with the fresh breeze outdoors.  The sound of rolling ocean waves crashed in the not far distance behind her and a piercing squawk of a gull seemed to call a warning for Susan not to enter.  She stopped and gave an icy stare to what lay before her.  It was almost more than she could bear to face the damp and musty cottage without turning and leaving.


Time to keep writing, yes?
TT